A/N: So, it looked really weird when I wrote out the chapters and typed it out like 'Chapter One-Hundred', so formatting wise, I'm just doing it this way going forward. Not that it matters, but anyway.
On with the show!
100
Remus, for whatever reason as Tonks's labor progressed, could not seem to stop the memories of the time he'd tried to leave her, shortly after she had kissed him following telling him the nature behind her Boggart's unusual form, from flitting through his mind. He had closed his heart and mind, fighting with his heart to accept that by leaving her as he attempted to do, it was better that way.
He was much too poor for Tonks, too dangerous, not quite 'whole,' enough. He had forced himself to believe that, and he was glad he'd been proven wrong, and that it had taken Molly, Arthur, Severus, Sirius, and finally Dora herself to make him see what a blind and bloody utter fool he had been.
It was that memory of his time alone following their first kiss, and the knowledge of how badly he had hurt Tonks that wounded him the most, cut him more deeply than any Dark magic or curse ever could be dealt him, then.
It was the only peace at the time that Remus had been able to find in his otherwise desolate existence, knowing that by leaving, he was protecting her.
Remus had tried to hurt Tonks, wanting Dora to hate him for what he had done to her, that she would stay well away from a monster, a beast, as him.
It had been the only way to ensure her safety, and Tonks, never one to abide by what others told her to do, had not listened to Remus's pleas to go.
He was grateful, in the end, that she had not abided by his wishes to leave him in his miserable and desolate solitude, allowing a more pleasant memory to flit through the confines of his mind.
That night they had spent up on the roof, and Tonks was nervous over her first time keeping a night watch, and Remus had done what he could for his partner to assuage her fears by telling her the story of the first time he had kept watch, and had gotten so startled by his own owl flying right at him that he'd screamed bloody murder and woken them all.
That was the night that everything changed. How she had looked upon his scars with no fear in those glistening gray orbs of hers, no disgust at his scars, which were truly grotesque upon first glance, that even Muggle women shirked away from him in the streets of London, most afraid of him, some pitying him.
How she had taken hold of his hand and given it a small squeeze, and the very touch of her palm against his still burned, tingling, numb with the memory. Remus hoped it never left him. He would keep it always if he could.
Their first kiss following her telling him the true form of her Boggart…
Lupin blinked, forced out of the steady stream of memories as another shrill cry of pain rent their bedroom. Poor Dora was in utter agony, and nothing he could say or do was going to quell it for her, as much as he wished he could.
This was torturous for her, as an Auror, a witch who prided herself on her ability to push past through pains and get through it, but there was no magic, no spell, that would aid a young witch in pregnancy, much like in death.
Tonks's body was ravaged by the intense pains that were coming in more frequent spurts now, faster, lasting even longer, twisting, and warping her insides harder with each passing second, they turned into agonizing minutes. She rested her head heavily against the crook of his shoulder, her breaths escaping from her panicked lungs in uncontrollable gasps and tortured moans.
The pain-filled whimpers that sounded truly pitiful as they escaped her throat had increased in volume, which hurt his wolfish sense of hearing, though Remus was not about to complain. It was nothing compared to what she felt.
At the very least, the two of them would have privacy, given it was just them alone in their home, though a stinging reality hit him like a Knockback Jinx, that their baby would enter into this world welcomed by the chill of the cold April weather outside as the thunderstorm raged war against the elements.
Poor Tonks was in agony. It was torturous for her, and he did not know what to do for her to help ease the pains of her contractions and her suffering. His wife had long since abandoned the firm belief that, as an Auror, she could cope with her pains and she did not need anything from Remus in return. She was now resting her head heavily against the crook of his shoulder.
Her body wracked and ravaged against the intense pains which came faster, longer, and twisting her stomach with each second as they dragged into minutes. Tonks's breath erupted from her lungs in uncontrollable gasps. The whines filled with pain that escaped her throat were slowly becoming louder until her guttural groans drowned out even the loud claps of thunder outside.
"I—I'm sorry," Tonks whispered faintly, squeezing her eyes shut, one hand over her swollen stomach. "I—I don't mean to be so loud, Remus." She panted regretfully, a light pink blush speckling along her cheeks as she ducked her head in shame, her shoulders heaving, her bottom lip bleeding from her biting down on it so hard in the effort to keep from crying out in pain.
"No." Lupin flinched as he realized how forceful his voice sounded. "You don't apologize, Dora," he reassured her, reaching over, and laying his left hand over top hers, giving it a firm but reassuring squeeze. "It's just you and me. There's no one else here, love. Scream as loud as you need to if it helps, Dora."
Remus couldn't be sure, but he swore he felt her smile weakly against his shoulder as a muscle in her jaw twitched, but he wasn't certain, though it did make him feel a little about the precarious position he had placed her in.
But only for a moment, though it was soon gone as another contraction came. "Merlin's Beard…" she moaned, sounding on the brink of fresh tears desperately, and Lupin shifted, turning around in time to see her fingers spasming in a panic, trying to calm the tremors in her abdomen by drawing circles. "You—" she started to say but was interrupted by a light chittering.
Both Remus and Tonks swiveled their heads in the direction of the interruption and were this any other circumstance, Remus might have laughed.
However, laughing was the last thing he felt like doing right now, though the scene before them was a most unusual one.
Ptelea, Merlin bless this tiny little Bowtruckle, was perched on top of their dresser, his nap interrupted at hearing his owner's groans and moaning of pain, his tiny beady eyes narrowed.
Remus watched, the corners of his mouth twitching back the ghost of a smile as the little green Bowtruckle hopped off their dresser, albeit with some difficulty, scrambling up onto the mattress, and into Tonks's outstretched hand.
Though not before turning towards Remus and blowing a well-deserved raspberry, which even Lupin did not dispute he had especially earned that one.
It seemed to take Tonks an eternity to find her voice.
"I—I will need to—to lie down soon," she whispered, and Remus flinched at hearing the fear in her voice, though he would be lying to himself if he did not admit his own nervousness. He had battled all manner of Dark Creatures. Grindylows, kappas, water demons, Dementors, Death Eaters, but had never delivered a baby before.
The prospect of having to do it on his own without someone like Molly or even Dora's mother around to help with the birth terrified him more than any creature he was ever sure to come across.
He watched as Ptelea squeaked again. The leaves on top of Ptelea's head drooped slightly as another spasm wracked Tonks's form, and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut, throwing her head back to the ceiling. The Bowtruckle did what he could to comfort his owner by using one of the leaves on top of its head to faintly stroke her cheek.
She was beginning to feel the pressure of their baby moving down in her hips. Remus furrowed his brows. "I know," he answered, hearing the intensity in his quiet tone, which shook slightly as the words tumbled out of his mouth.
He swore he heard Tonks snort when Remus reached out a hand to lay over top of hers, only for Ptelea to immediately come to his owner's defense and hop on top of her lap, smacking Remus's away with its tiny, twig-like arms.
The Bowtruckle's beady, black eyes narrowed in suspicion as it blew a raspberry, and it continued this annoying behavior until his eyes were mere slits.
Lupin allowed a dark little chuckle of bemusement to escape his lips, despite the immense worry that was working its way through his mind right now. "I think he's mad at me, Dora, don't you think?" Lupin joked weakly.
Tonks could only manage a small smile, though as another contraction took over, it turned into a pained grimace, and Remus flinched at hearing her.
Merlin's Beard, but she deserves better than me, his soul screamed, and the crushing guilt at what he had done to his wife came back to haunt him again.
They should have…they should have been more careful! For a moment, Remus felt Tonks relax slightly in his arms as he sat with her on the edge of their bed. She let out a tiny relieved sigh through her pursed sigh, resting her head against the crook of his shoulder.
"Y—you're going to be fine, Dora," he murmured, whispering it into the shell of his ear. "You're tough. Tougher than anybody gives you credit for," he soothed, rubbing small circles into the small of her back near her spine, though it did not mask the worry in his quiet voice.
Ptelea, from his perch on top of Tonks's head, as he nestled underneath his favorite lock of his owner's light ash brown hair to burrow, blew a raspberry, as if to tell Remus, "No, she's not going to be fine, you moron! This is your fault!" Remus moved his lips into a fake little smile at his wife's pet Bowtruckle's ornery antics towards him, and shot the same prayer up to Merlin in the heavens above and James and Lily, whoever else was listening, his mother, he hoped, that his wife was going to be all right. Please let her live.
This was the first incident that he knew of where a human female had ever dared to date and marry a werewolf, though he knew Norah had married a werewolf-like her and their child had not been born with lycanthropic features.
He could only pray their child would be blessed not to share any of his condition. He hoped their child would be a Metamorphmagus like its mother.
Oh, Merlin's Beard, but how had this happened? Of course, he knew how it happened, and when.
Sirius's prominent use of inappropriate terms made bloody sure that even Harry knew about that, and Remus did not like to admit this of James's son, but James's son was rather thick-headed at the best of times.
As the minutes dragged into going on two hours, though Molly had reassured Remus this sort of case was not isolated to just the two of them, some of his original worries about Tonks's pregnancy began to resurface. Would Tonks and the baby be all right?
They had never exactly planned this, after all. It just sort of…happened. They knew the likeliness of the child being born with Remus's pain-inducing features, his lycanthropy. It had just…happened, really.
Lupin remembered how excited he had been going with Mrs. Weasley and Tonks to Diagon Alley, picking out a crib and toys and clothes for their child.
How everything following Umbridge's arrest and the rest of Tonks's pregnancy had seemed so perfect. Tonks had almost no further problems, until now. He had not thought ahead to this part. Blearily, Remus lifted his chin and noticed his reflection in the mirror hung up across the way of their bedroom.
Furrowing his brows into a frown, Lupin ran a hand through his thick tuft of light brown hair, noticing another gray hair that he could have sworn had not been there this morning. Ah, but Merlin's Beard, what had he done to her?
Remus was jolted out of his inner torment as Tonks's momentary respite of calm did not last long, and her contractions returned in full force, harder.
The aching in her body was growing more urgent as the minutes passed. He did not know what to do. Molly or Mrs. Tonks should be here, and neither of them were. He—he was not a Healer of St. Mungo's or a Muggle doctor!
Tonks's loud, agonizing wail pierced the otherwise relative calm of their bedroom, and Remus felt his panic return full force.
"I'll—I'll go fetch you another blanket, love," he murmured, his heart frantic, pounding against his chest. "Here," he urged, as Tonks practically crumpled into Lupin's grasp, any resistance that she had been fighting to keep their child inside now vanished.
As gingerly as he could, he nestled the woman that he loved protectively in his arms as he bade her sit, firmly but gently, onto the bed. She was ready to give birth to their child and nothing was going to stop it. He had to help her.
Blankets, we're going to need more blankets for this, he thought wildly. Remus bolted upright from his seat on the edge of their bed, wand gripped firmly in his hand as he began heading for the door, though not before chancing another glance over his shoulder and looking at poor Tonks, who was doubled over, her hand resting on her rounded, swollen stomach, in excruciating pain.
"Hurry," she pleaded, a flicker of something unreadable daring through her light gray eyes. Was it nervousness? Trepidation? Fear that he would leave?
Whatever was going through Dora's mind, Remus did not have time to ponder it as he offered his wife a curt little nod of agreement and ran out of the doorway and done the hall of the second floor of their small tumbledown home.
Admittedly, since Tonks had moved in, it was becoming warmer, her presence felt within the very walls of his house. Decorations added here and there, she had migrated the furniture from her old flat into their living room.
This was perhaps the first time his house that he had lived in since he was twenty-six, felt truly like a home, now that Tonks was in his life, and their baby…oh, their baby! Lupin blinked, pulling his mind out of his wandering thoughts and shook his head to clear it, cursing himself for his foolishness, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he strode to the end of the hallway, near the bathroom and wrenched open the spare closet door, grabbing any blanket or towel he could find.
They would at least have something clean to wrap their baby in—
ARE YOU A WIZARD OR AREN'T YOU, MOONY?! James's voice erupted from the dark recesses of his mind, so audibly loud that Remus swore under his breath and almost dropped the blanket he held.
"What?" Remus barked sharply, not even caring if Tonks heard through the open door of their bedroom as another shrill cry of pain coming from within prompted another surge of adrenaline and a prick of terror at his heartstrings.
For the love of Merlin's left saggy—use your wand, Remus! James barked, sounding highly impatient with his best friend. You're in such a state, you're running around like a bloody Muggle! Your baby is coming now. Go help her!
Remus let out a low growl of frustration, and James made a noise that sounded like a sniff of disapproval, though his hardened voice quieted down. Begrudgingly, he glanced down at his wand in his hand, which was trembling so badly, he was honestly surprised he hadn't dropped it already.
Murmuring a dark curse to James under his breath that Tonks would have stared at him for if he would have said it loud enough for his wife to hear, he waved his wand and conjured another pile of woolen folded old blankets.
By the time Remus got back to their bedroom, he found his poor suffering wife in the midst of another contraction.
She had gotten up from her perch on the bed and was pacing the hardwood floor, back and forth, clutching her stomach with one hand, supporting her arching back with the other, groaning.
Tonks was trying to breathe slowly and calmly through the pains and failing. Remus cringed, hating himself for heaving to leave her alone even for a few seconds, and he set the pile of blankets down near their bed, going to her. Remus wanted so badly to bottle up the pain she felt and keep it for himself, hating that he was little more than a bystander at this moment.
This was ultimately her work. He could do nothing but offer encouraging words of support. "Are…are you all right, Dora?" Lupin asked, feeling helpless.
"No, Rem, I am not all right," Tonks shot back vehemently through gritted teeth as her head whiplashed sharply upwards to regard her husband. "I am having our baby," she hissed, stifling a groan in her throat, eyeing Remus.
Lupin cringed, lowering his head in shame, feeling like he was solely the one to blame for her pains at the moment.
Merlin's Beard, but they should have been more careful! Eager to appease his wife, he turned towards the blankets he had brought from the closet that housed their bathroom towels. He spread it out against their mattress once he'd stripped the bed of the wine-colored duvet color, not wanting his father's gift to become ruined.
"I—I'm afraid this was all I could find, sweetheart," Remus apologized, his brows coming together in shame, wishing there were more he could do for Dora. Tonks chose to ignore his apology, waving it away with a brush of her hand.
Dora took a moment to settle back on their bed and on top of the blanket, trying to shoot him a silent look of gratitude with her eyes for thinking to get a different blanket than their precious wine-colored duvet, a gift from his father, the pair of them had grown increasingly fond of, how comfortable it was.
Tonks did not want it to get ruined with the filth that came with bearing a new life into this world. Lupin needed a task to occupy his frayed nervousness.
So, he set about conjuring items needed for a small fire, suddenly wishing they had a fireplace, of all things, in their room, but the materials he conjured with his wand were going to have to go. Tonks burrowed herself under the blanket, wrapping her arms around her agonized body, and rocked in anguish.
Their baby was coming quickly, and Remus felt like a blind and bloody fool working as hard as he could to light a makeshift fire for light and warmth.
Outside their window, the storm raged on, the wind competing against his wife's pained groans and agonized shrill cries. Lupin felt overwhelmed with fear.
Pointing his wand at the makeshift firepit he had conjured, one of the bursts of flames he pointed at the pit accidentally misfired and the little ball of flame ricocheted off the wall, scorching the wallpaper of their room in the process, until, once Remus managed to steady his shaking wand enough, he pointed his wand again at the ball of flame, and sent it out the window, with a well-practiced flick of his wand, turning to face Tonks, wishing he hadn't.
His wife's focus on remaining calm had, naturally, become distracted by that little show of her husband's. Tonks looked up angrily.
"What are you doing, Remus?" she screamed, losing the last of her composure, bracing her abdomen, squeezing her eyes shut, and throwing back her head to the ceiling.
"I—I was trying to light a fire for you, love. So, you're warm, and for light," Lupin answered, shame pinking his cheeks. He was only trying to help Dora, but so far, it felt as though all he had done was make things even worse.
Gingerly, he set his wand down on the night table, thinking that if he were to help his wife bring their baby into the world, it was going to have to be the 'normal' way. He did not want to risk using magic and harming their baby.
Much to his relief, Tonks slowly lifted her chin, as well as her gaze, and exhaled a tense relief through her parted lips, silently communicating with him that she understood where his nervousness had come from and the need for the horrible little pyrotechnic display that had ruined her intense concentration.
Ptelea, for his part, poked his leafy little head out from underneath his favorite lock of Dora's light ash brown hair and blew a raspberry at Lupin. No doubt that little incident with the misfired flame had scared her Bowtruckle, and suddenly, Remus felt guilty and not sure at all what to do.
Feeling defeated, Lupin knelt beside his wife on the edge of their bed. Tonks was curled up in a fetal position, hugging her knees, facing the left wall of their bedroom, moaning through her breaths.
Timidly, he rested his hand on her elbow and tugged at it slightly, trying to get Dora to turn around and look.
"What?" she whispered hoarsely, her voice faint and barely audible.
"Dora," Remus began, feeling more flustered than on the day he had married this beautiful, amazing, funny witch, trying to be as calm as his racing heart, that damned stubborn corded muscle in his chest, would allow him to be, "you need help. I—I'm your husband. You need to let me help you, Tonks."
That did it. It was more than enough to inspire a heated emotional response from Dora, who felt her eyes fling wide open and she slowly, with great difficulty, raised herself to a seated position and propped herself upright with her elbows, Tonks's chest heaving with exertion at remaining like this.
"I—I don't need your help, Remus. I can—I can do this on my own," Tonks asserted through gritted teeth, desperate to hang onto that last shred of sanity that her Auror training had always required, her ability to withstand pain.
"Please," Remus begged her, hopelessly. "Let me help you, sweetheart."
Tonks breathed slowly through her nose, sanguinely, almost in slow motion lifting her head, allowing her fiercely determined, flashing gray eyes to meet his petrified brown orbs. The look on her face mirrored his, he was sure.
Hopeless. Terrified of what was to come next, though before she could answer her husband's plea, another contraction came, Tonks squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself against their mattress and the headboard of their large bed.
Dora was deep into her labor at this point, and she and Remus could no longer tell where one contraction stopped and the next one started. It was hell.
Tonks clutched handfuls of the bedsheets and woolen blankets beneath her, twisting the fabric's material into knots around her tightly clenched fists.
Her pet Bowtruckle did what it could to help her through her spasms, hopping out of his favorite lock of her hair and marching up and down her swollen stomach, continuously blowing raspberries at the baby within her.
As if to say, "Quit hurting her and come out of there already!"
Tonks made a muted noise that at first Remus thought to be another cry of pain, though as her shoulders shook, Lupin quickly realized she was laughing.
"T—take him, please. I—I can't…when he's…like this, Remus," Tonks begged Remus faintly, and Ptelea, for once, thankfully, did not protest as Remus held out his hand and gently coaxed the Bowtruckle off her stomach.
Lupin was loath even to turn his back on her for one second. "Stay. Here," he commanded, hardening his voice as he gingerly set Ptelea down on the dresser. "You can watch, but don't interfere," Remus heard himself growl.
Ptelea responded in kind by shooting Lupin a truly offended look with his narrowed beady black eyes and blowing yet another raspberry at poor Remus.
Shaking his head in minor amusement at the ornery woodland creature's antics, Remus turned back around, wanting to know what else he could do.
His wife's poor voice had become a ragged, hoarse wail against her hurts. He swore he heard her back crack as a muscle pulled as it arched with the sheer force beginning to take control of her body.
He was right beside Tonks, holding her hand and grimacing as she gripped onto her hand hard enough to break his fingers. He was right here where he was sitting, as he had promised her, but he might as well have been over a hundred miles away at Hogwarts.
Remus could not recall a time in his life where he felt more useless than right now. What was even worse, Lupin thought, was he felt he added to Tonks's torment, how his presence in the room with her was surely a burden.
This was supposed to be a joyous moment, the happiest of their lives, and it had been made a mess of trauma, uncertainty at not knowing if their friends, their family, were still alive or not, and both of them powerless to help them.
Remus squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, pleading with James and Lily, Merlin, whoever was up there and listening to his silent prayer, to will Tonks's body to have mercy on her. Dora had suffered more than enough with all this.
His thoughts were interrupted as suddenly, startling him so bad he almost slipped off the edge of their bed, Tonks drew in a sharp breath and propped herself up on her elbows, with help of her husband who adjusted her pillows.
Her gray eyes glistening with unshed tears grew wide with fear as she glanced down at her swollen stomach. Tonks couldn't delay this any longer.
Lupin watched as Tonks pulled her knees closer to her, clutching onto the fistfuls of the blanket even harder, her knuckles white-boned and trembling. Remus felt utterly helpless as Tonks gritted her teeth, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, forcing the muscles of her abdomen downward, her already-tired body needing its good first hard push to bring a brand-new life into this world.
A half-choked sob that quickly turned into a groan left the confines of Tonks's chest, throat, and her lips as she closed her eyes, trying to find some sweet semblance of relief, anything to escape the haze of pressure and pains.
But even as his wife futilely attempted to catch her breath, it would seem Dora's body had other ideas in mind for her and would not grant her that rest.
It urged her to push again. Finally, after a few more minutes, she relaxed, her lungs screaming for air, her head falling back against the pillow, fatigued. Tonks lay collapsed against their bed, still and unmoved, her gray eyes frantic as over and over again, his wife worked hard to push their baby into life.
Dora's screams and moaning had become even more anguished as time passed, and all Lupin was able to do was whisper soothing words into the shell of her ear and sit by her side in torment as a useless bystander, unable to help. There was silence, just for a fleeting moment, and Remus thought that maybe Dora's body had taken pity on her and last and she lay motionless.
Watching his wife intensely, Remus could not help noticing how slick tears dripped from her lids and drenched the pillow, her wavy tresses splayed out on either side of her head like a fan, a sheen of sweat on her browbone.
Tonks lay there, her strength failing her, staring up at their bedroom ceiling fan, watching as the fan rotated lazily, trying to circulate air through the room, nearly in shock from the immense pain that wracked her betrayed body.
"Rem," Tonks whimpered. "Help me," she begged, her voice faint, weak.
Squeezing onto Tonks's left hand with his own, he allowed the pads of his fingers to ghost tenderly over the plain yellow gold wedding band that was his mother's. Now it was Dora's. He stared lovingly into his wife's eyes and the sheer amount of fear and terror laced within made his heart shatter into pieces.
"I—I can't," Tonks cried, closing her eyes, engulfed in the torturous pains of her childbirth. "I—I can't do this, Remus," she sobbed, swallowing down hard past a growing lump in her throat as her eyes slowly fluttered open. "Y—you have to promise me, th—that no matter what happens to me…" She paused, her face twisting and contorting in pain. "That you'll save our baby."
Remus felt his heart gave a painful lurch, refusing to accept her words. He could not lose his wife. Lupin shook his head and stared grimly into Dora's eyes, trying in whatever menial way he could manage to give his wife strength.
"Don't talk like that. You're—you're going to be just fine, love. You're the strongest woman I know. You're going to get through this, Tonks. I solemnly swear it," he murmured, feeling tears beginning to mist in his eyes.
But Tonks shook her head. "Swear it to me, Remus!" she shouted.
Remus froze. He did not want his wife to think he was giving up on her, and he could not allow his wife to quit. Not when their baby was so close to making its way into the world. However, he knew he needed to ease her fear.
"I—I swear it, Dora. You have my word," Lupin vowed, albeit reluctantly, though he already knew that he lacked the courage to do this.
He couldn't. He would not cut open his wife's body to save their baby if something went wrong. Merlin's Beard, no! Remus shuddered just thinking it. He would not let himself think it. "Let me help you, sweetheart. We'll do this together. Just you and me," he pleaded, stroking her sweat-soaked tresses.
Tonks regarded him weakly in silence for what felt like an eternity before reluctantly nodding her head, allowing Lupin to shift Tonks in his arms slightly and prop her up against their headboard, her ashen face registering every move as torment, and Remus grimaced as he heard Dora let out a tiny moan of pain.
Lupin took a deep breath to steel his own frayed nerves and squeezed onto her hand.
You can do this, Rem, Lily's sweet voice piped up from the back of his mind. James and I, we've done this before. We'll guide you through this.
Remus nodded in acknowledgment of his friend's phantom voice inside his head, rolling up the sleeves of his sweater, feeling a muscle in his jaw twitch. "What—what do you need me to do, Dora?" he begged, biting his lip.
"You need to—to catch it, when I—when I push it out, that's—that's all I need you to do, Remus. Just…help me catch him, Rem," Tonks gasped faintly, still keeping her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she rested against the pillow.
If Lupin had thought he was white before, it paled in comparison to how he looked now, and he was grateful there was no mirror nearby to catch a glimpse of just how truly pallid his expression had become. "Catch it?" he repeated, his voice hoarse and rough. "Oh, God! Merlin's Beard!" he exclaimed, exploding as a surge of panic threatened to consume him entirely. "Well—well just…underhand it, okay, I've never been good at Quidditch!"
"Remus!" Tonks screamed, the shrill cry of pain that escaped her lips causing her poor husband to jump, startled. "There are no Healers or doctors around. Molly and my mum are not here to help us! You have to do this! Please," she begged, a fresh wave of tears starting to trickle down her cheeks.
Lupin froze, feeling what little color was left in his face drained, though as his wife's pitiful moans and whimpers as another painful spasm wracked its way through her body, he felt something within himself shift and gave way, determination and resolve clear on his features, and he nodded.
"Okay," he murmured through gritted teeth, more to steel himself and less so her. "We—we can do this, Dora, we can do this. I—I may have panicked a little back there but we're going to do this."
Lifting his head, he nodded positively, encouraging his wife, as he still, never once relinquishing control of Tonks's hand, he moved between her legs and as gingerly as he could, forced her thighs apart and hiked up the skirts of her maxi dress, not caring to preserve her modesty since it was just the two of them alone in their cottage. He had no idea what to do here.
The best thing Remus could give Dora at this time was the focus of hope as he waited to catch their baby.
"I need you to push, Dora," he commanded, hardening the edges of his voice as he recognized this was the tone that he adapted whenever he had taught Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts.
He urged his wife to push, though, at this point, there was no need for it. Tonks's body was now completing the painful task of bringing their baby into the world all on its own, and it needed no further encouragement from Remus.
Tonks had zero control over her own muscles, unable to ignore the burning as his wife eagerly complied with her body's wishes, accepting what it demanded of her, and gritted her teeth, throwing back her head and she cried.
"Dora? Dora, I need you to stop crying and look at me, look into my eyes!" Lupin's tone was harsh but confident, and it allowed Tonks to blearily open her eyes and focus on Remus's face through the blurry haze of agony.
Tonks made eye contact and tried to breathe deeply. This was bloody it, figuratively, and literally. Soon, she would meet their baby.
A passing fear overcame her for a moment, and then was quickly replaced by the same fierce determination that Tonks had been feeling these last few months leading up to this very moment, a fierce sense of protectiveness and love for their child.
The raw powers of nature and existence took over, and with a strength Tonks didn't even know possessed, gritted her teeth and bore down hard in the effort to bring a new life into this world, trying to push the baby out of her womb.
The pain was worse than anything she had ever felt in her life, burning. But she did not stop. Her screams filled their humble little cottage as her body began to stretch with the child inside of her, eager to push it out already.
Again, Lupin ordered her, commanding her to push, and again, Tonks complied, her screams rippling through the room, grateful no one else was here. Otherwise, they'd surely think someone was being tortured or murdered.
A few more good, strong pushes, and though her sight was blocked by her bulging stomach, Tonks chose to focus on Remus's face, feeling her bottom lip begin to quiver as she bit down hard, crying quietly against the burning pain.
Lupin stared for a moment until he caught on that Tonks was trying to crane her neck to see, and finished his gaze for his wife, his eyes drifting down to rest in between his legs. His eyes widened until they matched Tonks's when he saw their baby's head beginning to emerge from her body.
Tonks saw a smile appear on Lupin's face, making him look years younger than his actual age of thirty-six, which she took as a good sign. For a moment, as he lifted his head and grinned at her, Tonks didn't even notice his scars.
"I can see its head! It's—it's got hair like mine, love! Keep going, it's almost over!" Remus did not bother to stifle his small smile of amazement. "Push, love, push!"
In his growing excitement at the thought of meeting their baby, this precious life that he and Dora had created together, he hadn't realized his instructions had become louder and more urgent, though Tonks's Bowtruckle was only too happy to remind them both as it squeaked and chirped its displeasure at the noise from its perch on the desk, blowing raspberries at both Remus and Tonks now, wanting to know what was going on, and furious with Remus for making him stay put on top of their dresser.
For all of Tonks's strength and resolve, try as hard as she might, Tonks could not overcome the pain, and her bloodcurdling screams carried into the early evening. Remus had to practically shout over her to make himself heard.
"Push!" he yelled again as Tonks bore down for at least the tenth time.
"I am pushing!" Tonks screamed at Lupin and then began to openly sob.
Remus cursed himself and bit the wall of his cheek, forcing himself to remain calm in order to help his wife through this last bit of her labor. He hadn't meant to cause his wife distress. "I know, I know, love, and you're doing so great," he encouraged gently, soothingly as he rubbed her leg. "Keep going!"
Tonks shot Lupin a dark look, leaning her head back against the fluffed up pillow Mrs. Weasley had gone to painstaking lengths to provide for her and breathed deep, regaining some small semblance of strength before propping herself up and leaning forward, her body struggling to bring forth their baby.
Dora's jaw locked up and became tense, her eyes squeezed tightly shut, groaning with exertion and exhaustion, tears silently streaming down her cheeks. She pushed and bore down as hard as she could, feeling herself stretch and felt her baby's head leave her body between her widespread legs.
Her screams carried on, each one louder than the last, but they brought with them the announcement of a birth, a new wondrous life brought into this world. Lupin moved his crimson-stained fingers to support their baby's neck.
Tonks let out an agonized cry of pain as she pushed the infant's shoulders out of her, grunting and pushing with the effort, her hands coming up to wrap around her husband's neck, bracing herself through gritted teeth for one final hard push.
"It's coming, Dora," Remus reported eagerly, not bothering to keep the note of excitement out of his voice now. It was almost over. "You're doing so wonderful, darling, I'm so proud of you! Keep going, one more good push!"
Tonks nodded mutely, determination and resolve clear upon her exhausted features, never once taking her eyes off of Lupin as she drew in a shaking breath and bore her body down hard for one final push. She grunted and groaned with the effort, and though she could not see it, she could hear the slightest sound of release and after a few more minutes, the pain-filled scream that left her lips was drowned out by the sound of their baby's first loud wail that pierced the air.
And then Lupin found his arms filled with his squirming, wriggling baby boy. "It's a boy!" he called out to Dora as his wife collapsed against the pillow, panting, and heaving with exhaustion, with a joyful, almost prideful shout. "We have a son, Dora! He's beautiful, sweetheart, you did wonderfully!" he grinned.
They had a son. A beautiful baby boy. Tonks had been so sure they'd be having a girl. She had been wrong in that regard, but it didn't matter one bit.
Tonks blearily opened her eyes and forced herself to sit up against the pillows. The color was drained from her face and she looked utterly exhausted.
But she was smiling in the way that only a new mother could, as the happiness on Tonks's face matched that of Remus's as she looked down into the eyes of their precious little boy. Eyes that matched his father's, and his hair, much to Dora's delight. She had been hoping their child would look like him.
Tonks sat up in their bed as Lupin gently laid their wailing infant into her outstretched arms, with Remus turning his back on her for a moment so he could wave his wand to clear up the mess, gathering fresh rags and blankets.
Tonks felt her breath catch in her throat, her lips parted open to speak, though she found herself at a total loss for words, unable to find words special and dear enough to her heart to describe the overwhelming feeling of joy she felt as it swelled and surged as heat in her chest. Shaking slightly, she gingerly lifted the newborn infant to her heart, cradling her newborn son in her arms.
By the time Lupin turned back around with fresh rags clutched in his hands, Remus thought to himself that his wife was an angel holding their baby. Her wavy hair had reverted to its usual plum color, causing her to look a little bit peaky, though he guessed too it was because Tonks was exhausted.
Lupin watched his wife and newborn son for a moment in silence through red-rimmed eyes as tears of happiness brimmed at the edges of his lids, feeling like his heart was going to burst out of its cage with pride and love for them.
Remus waved his wand and conjured a dagger, little more than something Molly might use in the kitchens, but their son's umbilical cord had to be cut, and trying to be as gentle as possible, severed the cord and discarded it quickly.
Tonks had hardly noticed her husband's movements, too engrossed in staring in awe at the miracle that was her and Remus's precious baby boy. Hot tears stung and marred her vision as they trailed down her pale cheeks in tracts.
She smiled through her relieved gasps; grateful the painful ordeal was over. Remus watched with bated breath as he joined his wife on their bed, as their son stared up at his mother as if he could already understand the love she held for him, and slowly opened his eyes. Their son had his father's brown eyes.
The bond between mother and son was already forming, and Lupin blinked as he heard Tonks let out an audible gasp as their baby's hair slowly started to change color. "Is that…?" he breathed out; eyes wide in shock.
"Uh-huh," Tonks nodded numbly, a look of utter shock and disbelief on her features, confirming Remus's suspicions. Their son was not like him, after all, at least in terms of inheriting any of Remus's wolfish characteristics, and Lupin thought he might weep.
He had; however, it would seem, inherited his mother's Metamorphmagus abilities as their newborn son's hair, just one lock, slowly started to turn ginger, creeping its way down the strand at a snail's pace.
Lupin felt tears sting and blur at the edges of his vision, not sure what he was happier with at the moment. The fact that his son was not like him in terms of his lycanthropy, or that their baby was healthy, and his wife was all right.
He leaned forward and pressed a gentle, chaste kiss to Dora's forehead and then her cheek, before leaning down and planting one on his new son's head. Remus fell silent as he heard Dora speak to their son.
"I didn't think you'd ever come out. That I would ever see your face," Tonks managed to choke out in a hoarse whisper, caressing her baby's hair with the pads of her fingers. "Or see your face," she confessed to their baby, tears sliding down her pale cheeks. Tonks's gaze swept over their swaddled son in the disbelief that her son was actually here, in her and Remus's arms. "Or hold you," she wept quietly. Tonks, with a graceful tenderness, leaned down and kissed her little son's forehead, and a smile graced her exhausted face. "He has your eyes and your hair, Remus. Our son, he looks like you..."
She smiled down at their baby, desperately in love with him already. "I'm your mother. That's Daddy," she whispered, lifting her head to look at Remus, who sat back against the headrest of their bed and listened to Tonks.
In ways, her words to their newborn son were a heartbreaking lament. He could barely comprehend the despair she must have gone through while held in captivity at Crouch's estate, wondering if Crouch would kill her and their baby. To be held prisoner against her will and fearing for her life and that of their child's, he was honestly amazed that Tonks had never given up on hope.
But nothing could compare to this moment, nothing more important to her than having him here by her side, so they could hold their new son together. Remus forced his mind to come back to the reality of his situation. That he was now a father. Just that thought alone caused his heart to swell with pride. Remus raised his gaze to see Tonks's ecstatic smile bearing into him.
"Here. Hold your son, Remus," Tonks commanded, firmly but kindly, glancing at her husband almost timidly, smiling at her husband, the corners of her mouth twitching as she smiled. Remus held out his slightly trembling arms, and Tonks gingerly laid their baby carefully in his grasp. "Be sure to—to support his head, Rem," she said. "We—we don't even have a name for you yet, little one…"
Lupin nodded, leaning in so that his shoulder was brushing against Tonks's, nestling his newborn baby son close to his chest, and he was smaller than a bag of sugar you could buy in Diagon Alley or one of the Muggle grocery stores.
Their son's head, a thick tuft of light brown hair wobbled beneath his supporting hand. Remus could not believe how tiny new humans were, how vulnerable, how awe inspiring. He glanced sideways at his wife, seeing how through her exhaustion, Dora could not help but smile at her husband and son.
She lets her eyes leave his face to take in the baby in Remus's arms, how Lupin's tears of joy silently left his lids as he raised the boy to his face, nuzzling his tiny cheeks. Tonks smiled faintly as the newborn babe raised his tiny hands and explored his father's nose and his rough close-cropped beard. Remus lifted his chin slightly and met Dora's gaze, beaming with unconditional love in his eyes that washed over his body and rocked the proud new father to his core.
Peering down at the newborn baby in his arms, Remus was quiet for a moment, thoughtful. His son would need a name, one a wizard could be proud of. Then he glanced back up and looked seriously towards Tonks, staring deeply into her light gray eyes.
"Ted," Remus announced, earnestly. "Let's name our son after your father, sweetheart. Let's call him Ted," he murmured. He remembered how distraught Tonks had been over the loss of her father, and Remus could think of no better way to honor Dora's fallen father.
Tonks's eyes brimmed with unshed tears of happiness and she nodded.
"Ted. Teddy. Teddy Remus Lupin, named after the two bravest men I've ever known," she whispered hoarsely, looking at Remus with a kindness that made his heart pound and flutter against his chest. Her husband had chosen to name their son after her father, and Tonks doubted Lupin would never truly know how much that meant to her. Tonks swallowed down hard, fighting back against the growing lump in her throat as she blinked back a fresh wave of tears.
After what felt like an eternity, Tonks was able to find her voice at least.
"It's perfect. Our son is perfect," Tonks agreed wholeheartedly in a faint whisper, officially naming their newborn son. "Teddy Remus Lupin. A great wizard in the making." She let out a tired sigh and collapsed against the pillow.
Remus smiled at his wife and glanced down at Teddy, now sleeping in his arms. "He's perfect, Dora," Lupin praised. "I think he looks like you, darling."
Even throughout the duration of her pregnancy, their trials and tribulations in dealing with Barty Crouch Jr. and Dolores Jane Umbridge, and then what Tonks went through in the Forbidden Forest with the centaurs and Aragog and his offspring, Tonks had miraculously managed to keep their precious baby safe.
The fact that the two of them were successfully able to have a home birth and deliver their newborn son healthy and well into the world, was a true miracle of Merlin indeed. Remus looked down proudly at his little boy.
His son. Here was a miracle that he could truly claim was his, his status as a fully-fledged werewolf be damned. He could walk down the streets of Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade and loudly proclaim that Teddy Remus Lupin was his son.
And his precious newborn baby son was given to him by the woman he loved more than his own life. Overwhelmed with a sense of pride and joy that rocked him to his core, he glanced sideways at Dora. She was utterly exhausted.
But still, she smiled in only a way that a new mother could, though he could already see the fatigue that was beginning to take hold of Tonks at last.
Worry wormed its way into his stomach once more as he noticed her pale face become tinged with alarm. "Remus." Her voice was a hushed whisper, as she peered between her legs, having to lift the skirts of her black maxi dress to look. Lupin followed where his wife was looking and with a jolt of alarm, saw what she was cautiously eyeing as a rush of blood and tissue seeped from her.
He began to grow worried, thinking something was wrong, but then Tonks, upon noticing his alarmed expression, spoke up, her voice hushed. "Th—this is normal, Remus," Tonks murmured quietly. "Mrs. Weasley explained it to me a few months ago. That's normal," she soothed softly.
"Let me help you, then, Dora." Remus managed a light smile at his wife, returning their precious son to Tonks's outstretched and waiting arms. He took one of the rags he'd gotten from their bathroom closet and cleaned her as best he could, using the hot water from the basin Molly Weasley had provided.
Tonks set to work herself, using another rag to clean Teddy off of the remnants of his birth. Remus watched with a slightly scrutinizing eye as Tonks carefully dabbed and dried their baby off of what remained of the fluid on his delicate skin. Lupin set aside the basin of water and helped Dora wrap Teddy in the blanket they'd been saving until their son was securely swaddled and safe.
"I'm going to need more of those rags, Rem," Tonks confessed to Remus, a light pink blush speckling along her cheeks. "I will bleed for a little while."
Embarrassed, she glanced down, a tumble of curl falling in front of her face, her son nestled against her arms, but Remus wasn't having any of that.
Gently, he cupped her chin in his strong hand and tilted it upward, forcing Dora to meet his gaze. He watched as her light gray eyes widened, her lips parted open to speak, but her husband did not give her a chance, pressing his lips to hers, gently but still passionately, and when he pulled back, Remus saw yet again how tired she was.
"I'm going to look after you, Dora. Both of you. And now, you are exhausted. You should sleep, sweetheart," he offered quietly.
"No," Tonks muttered in response, shaking her head, wincing as she shrugged out of her dress and pulling the blankets of their bed up to cover herself, allowing their son to feed for the first time, his instincts already strong.
Though she flinched at the soreness that was beginning to conquer her body, the final remnants of her difficult but successful labor at bringing Teddy into this world. "Tonks." Remus pressed, unable to keep the note of urgency out of his voice once Teddy had finished feeding and was swaddled snuggly.
He knew she would become ill if she did not allow herself to rest, time for her body to recover from its ordeals, and Remus said as much to his tired wife. "That's what I'm here for," he smiled gently. "Let me do this, love."
Tonks furrowed her brows in a slight frown for just a moment, looking somewhat apprehensive, looking, and feeling as though she wanted to protest. Though as a yawn escaped her, Tonks knew Remus was right. As usual. She needed to sleep, to rest, and allow ample time for her body to recover. She had never felt so bloody tired in all her life, of this she was sure.
Looking down at Teddy in her arms, she quietly gave a tiny nod of her head.
Remus smiled at his wife, carefully moving towards Tonks on their bed, placing a gentle hand around her shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Gently pushing her back against the sheets of their bed, he fluffed the pillows behind her head and helped her stretch out onto her right side, lovingly placing Teddy into the crook of her arm so their son would be near her while she slept, and the proud new mother would feel any need from Teddy.
It didn't escape Tonks's notice how gentle and careful Remus was, how thoughtful he was, and before he could pull away to pull up the rocking chair Molly had always taken great pains to conjure, Tonks caught his hand, pulling him back, looking up into her husband's eyes with red-rimmed, teary gray eyes.
"Thank you, Rem," she whispered faintly, her lids becoming heavy with sleep, and a faint ghost of a smile on her face as she nestled back into the pillow.
Remus felt his adoring smile wash over him, and for the second time in his life, he felt happier than he had ever been in his otherwise desolate and miserable existence, the first time being when he had married this woman and taken this remarkable young witch as his wife, and now he called her his.
"It's I who should be thanking you. So…thank you, Dora, sweetheart," he whispered affectionately. "For being you. For accepting me as I am. For Teddy." Tonks had gone through hell and back in order to bring their son into this world, and just for a moment, Remus allowed his gaze to travel downward and watched their newborn son sleeping safely in Dora's arms, and by the time he brought his gaze back up to meet Tonks's, his wife was already sound asleep.
Lupin smiled, bending down slightly and kissed Tonks's temple tenderly, knowing that he loved his wife and now his newborn son more than anything.
He had gotten her back when the Forest and Crouch Jr. would have otherwise claimed her, and now the two of them could celebrate the birth of their son, this precious gift of a child that she had given him this stormy night.
Remus made a silent declaration as he situated himself on the right side of the bed, snuggling in close next to his wife on the opposite side so as to not crush little Teddy, that he would watch over them both as long as he lived.
He was Teddy Remus Lupin's father, he was his. The most perfect feeling he had ever known had swept through him. He was rocked to his core, and Lupin knew he would do anything in the world for Teddy. He would be his son's hero, his keeper, the one who gave his son cuddles and kept him safe whenever their son felt scared or threatened in any way.
He would be Teddy's dad. Remus did not know this kind of devoted love could be possible for a werewolf like him, until tonight. He would never give up this feeling, not for anything in the world, and he swore silently to James and Lily and his mother's spirits and anyone else who would listen that he would let nothing happen to Teddy or to Dora.
Tears silently streamed down his face as he nestled his face into the crook of Dora's chest as she slept soundly. He would give his life for them if that's what it took to protect his wife and newborn son. As he too slowly succumbed to sleep, Remus could not help but think of their friends, their family at Hogwarts, praying that they were safe. Especially poor Ollie, he thought, burying his face in Tonks's shoulder, inhaling the scent of the shampoo Tonks used that smelled like autumn and apples. They had successfully delivered their newborn son into this world, but it was up to those who were fighting at the Battle of Hogwarts to keep it safe.
So that the next generation of wizards, kids like his own precious son, Teddy, could enjoy the world that people like himself and Dora and Ollie were fighting in, trying to make the world a better place for kids like Ted to grow up. As Lupin felt his lids become heavy and he allowed himself to fall into a deep sleep, his wife and baby by his side, he could only pray that their friends and family were safe.
That Ollie was safe…
A/N: Yayyy Teddy's into the world, finally! I'm glad I was able to mark his birth as chapter 100, kind of a landmark moment for me honestly lol. Coming up next, did Norah perish in the fires of the BoH, or will Ollie be able to save her?
