Chapter 103, everybody! In which…okay, real talk, wasn't sure what to do so I just let the kids mob Skellington and this was the result. Also, one of the rare chapters that doesn't have the back and forth with the timelines, so win. :D
Also the grossgrossgross line is based on Sabrina saying that in an episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch—don't know why, but I found it funny. And please don't swing around loaded guns wait until they're empty please. D:
Movie this week is Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure—a most silly and bodacious glimpse into California in the very late eighties/early nineties. Or, as I told my parents: "Just southern California."
Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yeah, I don't know why FFN insists on doing that. :\ YES, finally! :D And no, Skellington's not staying down for long….I would love for linner to catch on I don't know why it hasn't it's a natural progression of the meals. *shrugs*
References:
Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi
The Nightmare Before Christmas © 1993 Tim Burton
Dharma and Greg © 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)
Criminal Minds © 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)
Skulduggery Pleasant © 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages, Serpine, Crux, Marr…)
Robots © 2005 Blue Sky Studios ("Foot don't fail me now!")
Atlantis: The Lost Empire © 2001 Disney ("Less talk more saw!")
Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)
Okay—okay, so he didn't expect that to actually work.
"All right!" Yami barked. "Come on guys, before he gets back up—"
"He got shot in the head with a magic-dampener," Honda observed, running over with Kels hot on his heels with her gun. "How fast do you even think he'll get back up?"
"Let's not find out," Yami muttered, prepping one of the boxes and bracing himself and ignoring the rapid litany of grossgrossgross running through his head—
Skellington sat back up, blinking owlishly, looking stunned—would have been funny if it weren't for the fact that he still had a bullet hole leaking black in his forehead. "What the—"
Kels shrieked, jumping back—had her gun reversed and swinging at him like a baseball bat—
Skellington's body fell back again, heels up as his head landed in the bushes several yards away.
They all had to take a beat—looked at Kels, still with her gun resting up near her shoulder.
"Dude," Jonouchi said finally.
Kels shrugged. "He caught me off guard."
"I don't want to know what you on guard looks like."
"I'm gonna just—take this," Honda said, taking her gun away. "Jonouchi, go get his head."
"Ew no—why do I have to get his head?"
"Because we're going with your plan," Bakura said.
"I don't want to."
"Just do it," Yami muttered, grabbing Skellington's arm and bracing himself—
Wasn't expecting the other arm to swing up and grab him.
Everyone was screaming, so he wasn't feeling so bad about doing the same—kicked at the ribcage repeatedly, scrambling backwards and trying to work himself loose as the body's legs bent, heels digging in and starting to lever itself upright—
Jonouchi and Honda tackled the body, yanking back as Bakura and Anzu grabbed Yami and yanked the other way, Kels grabbing the guns and Yuki dancing around screaming in alarm—Kels shoved the empty one at Yuki, swung hers again—
Yami, Bakura, and Anzu went flying one way, Jonouchi and Honda the other way with the body, bony hands still dug into Yami's shirt, long thin arm bones twisting like they were trying to yank him up to better facilitate screaming in his face, if only there was the rest of the body to go with it. Managed to peel those off—
"Ewewew!" Jonouchi yelped, dancing upright and away from the body—which scrambled back to its feet quickly. "You know what—forget the plan—RUN!"
The realization that the magic-dampening spell being in Skellington's currently-severed head and therefore not stopping his body meant the rest of them followed in short order.
Okay, so getting his head knocked off was as much of a hassle as you'd expect.
So was losing his arms in a fight where a bunch of kids decided to try ripping him apart. By the way, ow—spent most of the time grousing in the bushes before calling to his body, trying to get it to feel back over properly—by the way, not that anyone asked or probably wanted to know, but having a head not be attached to the body and the body still moving and trying to move in relation to how you thought your head was still attached was weird and he didn't like it. Should probably prioritize his hands though so he could actually grab things that was important.
Finally though, he was back together enough for his hands to grabo his head—screw it back on, twist his neck to make sure it stayed, draw himself up—
"I am an adult," he told himself, a finger up. "I am a responsible adult, I am not chasing a bunch of kids through the woods."
That resolve lasted for all of five seconds.
"I'm not that responsible," he decided, before tearing off after the kids.
Yeah this plan probably could have used a few more rewrites.
"Okay," Kels said. "We've gotten over the gross factor, I say we run back there and tear him apart properly now."
"Did you miss the part where he was choking me?" Yami asked.
"He wasn't choking me."
"I still have problems with that part."
"You started it!"
Thin fingers, then long skinny arms shoved the bushes aside, revealing the tall form of Skellington with a thunderous look on his face.
"And I'M going to finish it," he growled.
Everyone took a nonplussed moment—
Kels looked at Yami. "This is your fault."
"Whatever," Yami said—blasted Skellington backwards with some displaced air. "GET HIM!"
Skellington recovered quickly though, back on his feet and charging—
Squawked in alarm when him deflecting another spell also had him scrambling at his torso. "UH—can I have like a two-minute time out!"
"No," Kels said, swinging at him with a shovel—which he caught.
"No," he said sternly, taking it from her. "My head stays where it's supposed to—"
"YAAH!" Jonouchi screamed, tackling him and rolling him—bounced back up and kept running. "Everyone scatter!"
They did so, Skellington scrambling upright, looking everywhere before picking one and tearing after them—also putting his ribs back into place as he did so.
"Second time this week, this is embarrassing—" he muttered—was cut off when he ran smack into a shovel—
Rolled out of the way quickly, the point stabbing into the ground near his head.
"Eh, worth a shot," Bakura said, before taking off, Skellington hot on his heels—tried to hex him again—
Collapsed completely at that.
"Hey, wasn't expecting that to actually work!" Honda said, elbowing Yami.
"Thank you for that vote of confidence," Yami groused. "Now can we—"
Skellington shoved himself back up, seemed to have realized what was going on—shook his head violently, hit the side of it several times—snorted, hocked, spit into his hand—
The bullet was slightly distorted, but the runes on it were evident.
It was also not stopping Skellington's magic anymore.
"Go back to running," Yami finished, already hot on Honda's heels.
"Oh no you don't," Skellington growled, bolting after them—
Was sidelined by Kels tackling his legs, causing him to stumble again—shove himself back upright—couldn't move for Kels hanging onto his legs for dear life.
"YEAH KELS!" Jonouchi yelled. "BITE 'IM! BITE 'IM!"
"I AM NOT PUTTING ANY PART OF THIS GUY IN MY MOUTH!" she railed back—looked up at a tap on her head to see that Skellington was now bent in half at the waist to address her.
"You wouldn't happen to be related to a Kineil Wicks, would you?" he asked.
"I will steal your kneecaps," she hissed.
"That answers that question," he sighed, straightening up—
Right in time for a screaming Honda to leap at his shoulders in a flying tackle, Jonouchi hitting him in the small of the back, Yuki running up and screaming as he grabbed onto his other leg, Bakura tackling him as well.
The end result had him bent backwards, face and shoulders flat on the ground behind his feet as he tried very hard not to actually twist apart. Ow was his best assessment of his situation at this point.
Kels looked him up and down before settling on his face. "You can sure get your body into some funny shapes."
"Oh yeah, you're definitely related to Kineil," he muttered into the ground. "I don't suppose you all getting off of me is in my future, is it?"
"Not hardly—I'm getting what I came for if I committed I'm getting something."
"WE'RE TAKING YOU APART SO YOU CAN NEVER BE REASSEMBLED!" Jonouchi screamed.
"That seems excessive—HEY!"
There was a lot of squirming, flailing, finagling and fighting before Skellington was free of the kids, went tumbling—
"Right!" Bakura barked. "If I seem to be getting smaller, it's because I'm leaving! Foot don't fail me now!"
"Hey!" Skellington barked, hopping up—and keeling over when he realized he was lacking in a few bones. "Hey you got my foot!"
"THAT'S THE IDEA!"
"BRING THAT BACK SO I CAN SHOVE IT UP YOUR—"
"AAAAAH!" Honda screamed, tackling him again, followed quickly by Jonouchi and Kels.
"Boxboxboxboxbox—" Bakura ranted, running for Anzu with his arms outstretched—shoved the foot into the ready box, which she quickly folded and handed to Yami, who activated the anti-summoning charms on it.
"Okay!" he barked, handing it off to Yuki. "One down!"
"'Nother one!" Kels screamed, holding up his other shoe. "Jo! Go long!"
"Got it!" Jonouchi barked, catching it and running for them. "EW grossgrossgross—"
Honda broke free and took off, Kels tumbled to a halt shortly after Skellington did—blinked when the boogie mage took stock of himself and glared at her.
"Eat me," she spat.
Should have probably known when he made the sort of face Yami was good for when mentally declaring war that she should have walked back from that, didn't fully realize the entirety of the problem until two seconds later when she was staring down a big coiling striped dragon, black red and white all over with spikes and at least two mouths on its big muzzle.
Nod. "I didn't mean that literally," she managed calmly enough—
Screamed her head off and scrambled away, the dragon roaring after her.
"Okay!" Yami said, second box tucked under his arm as they fled. "So this is going better than I thought it would!"
"Our estimation of the plan was basically this is never going to work we might as well," Bakura countered.
"No, our plan was basically we might as well we don't have a better one," Anzu told him.
"Less talk more run!" Honda ordered.
"We've got both his feet!" Jonouchi countered as they rounded a corner down a side road. "How fast can he be without them?"
Which was about the time Kels came speeding around the corner—
And past them. "HE'S A STINKIN' DRAGON!"
"Wha?" came from about three different sources as they looked back—
Yami shoved the foot box at Bakura, grabbed Yuki and kicked it into high gear when the coiling striped dragon came slamming around the corner, knocking a tree down as it came (and apologizing to said tree, inanely).
"Don't think we're outrunning this!" Bakura yelped, prompting Yami to glance back—
Scramble for something when he saw a maw full of teeth lunging, could only hit on earth manipulation—
Was very happy with the resounding thud that was Dragon-Skellington hitting a wall of earth.
"Ha ha, serves you right," he couldn't help but jeer—
Was back to running when Dragon-Skellington was surging up and over in hot pursuit—got a gust of air when he detoured at Bakura throwing his foot away.
"What happened to the other one?" Yami asked as they took off.
"I think it ended up in the woods, not sure," Bakura puffed, kicking it into high gear.
Glancing back at Skellington hopping back into the road, other foot now a shadowy construct, he didn't think the loss of the appendage would slow him down as much as he had been acting—split at a fork in the road, Bakura going one way, him going another—they spent all their spare time in here, it had been a thousand years, things had changed—they had the advantage—
Skellington skidded, tall frame almost compacting as he crouched and leaned to keep his footing—sprang after Yami—
Who dropped flat to the ground—
As Skellington was shot in the head a second time, this time coming to a skidding halt on his face.
"Are you kidding me right now?" he muttered into the dirt.
Kels leaned into the trail. "Oh that's tempting."
It was enough to get Skellington scrambling upright, trying to see where they had gone—bolted after Yami when he whistled—
"OI!" he barked at getting tackled around the legs again. "Do you MIND I had other things I planned to do with my day!"
"Oh yeah well SO DID I!" Kels yelled back.
"THEN GO DO THEM!"
"Make me, chump."
Skellington had to take a moment—
Caught Bakura when he dove at him again, lifted him up by the scruff of the neck to look him in the eye, expression dark.
"You know I don't need magic to rip you to shreds, right?" he asked flatly.
"No, but you at least need a hand," Bakura countered—
Punched Skellington in the elbow, ran off with the limb—Skellington tried to pursue, couldn't because of Kels hanging on—got hit a few more times by the others—
Snorted and spat hard again—
The second treated bullet went bouncing away, Skellington transformed to get away from them—
Squawked when apparently missing part of an arm made his bird guise be missing part of its wing, ended up taking a nosedive into some nearby bushes hard enough to knock him back into his usual shape. Yami hesitated…finally went over and nudged one of Skellington's feet—and then did it again when he nudged the wrong one.
"I give up," Skellington sighed. "I give up, I'm done, I'm just gonna lay here for a few years, someone throw flowers on me occasionally."
"If we asked nicely, would you stay in a coffin?" Yami opted to ask.
"Tempting…but I still have things to do."
Yami couldn't help the eyebrow snaking up, knew that Yuki was tugging on his cape, looking concerned…."Like what?"
Skellington actually propped himself up on his elbow to better give Yami a dumbfounded glare. "Am I to understand you'd actually listen instead of tackling me and screaming and trying to rip me apart?"
Yami's answer was cut off by Bakura coming back, apparently not yet noticing or just not caring. "Jo wanted me to ask you if you needed a hand."
"Give me that," Yami scolded, using the dismembered skeletal limb to slap Bakura upside the head—turned to Skellington, toss it into his lap.
"I'm listening," Yami said. "For real this time."
Skellington didn't seem convinced, wary and concerned…finally picked up his forearm, the hand on the end pointing at him as he threaded it back into place. "I'm going to need my other foot back first, for the record."
Yami looked at Bakura, who shrugged. "Kels had it."
"It went flying," she retorted when they looked at her. "And no, I'm not hunting it down that was the point of stealing it."
That was true, and Honda was positioned with one last bullet in his pistol—glance at Anzu and Yuki—
Both of their expressions suggested they noticed what he was—that despite everything, Skellington was still sitting there and not trying anything, that what he had done certainly didn't line up with what they knew about him—
Deep breath, turn to look at him. "We're listening, so talk."
Skellington waffled a hand and shrugged, like he realized this was his best option at this point—deep breath although it was pointless for him—
"Stop in the name of the law!"
Sagged, looked over. "Do you mind? We're having a moment."
That was the calmest reaction—everyone else was spinning in alarm—
Head Detective Crux was standing there at the end of the road, magic crackling off him.
