Myself and Me


Sakura dreamed.

It came into focus slowly, she was somewhere dark where she could not see the sun.

She walked under a dark sky, searching for someone. Her first mate would be here somewhere. All she had to do was search.

He couldn't have moved on without her, she knew he had more things to teach her.

In truth, she knew this search of the underworld was not going to last too much longer. She wasn't going to be able to search the entire underworld for him.

One year, for one year she had searched for him. Her new Lunar mate waited for her back at her lands and would wait patiently for her to come back home.

Something was wrong with her but she couldn't put it in words.


She was somewhere else now.

The room was filled with smoke and full of people. The smoke faded to reveal it was only the tiny wisps of smoke coming from candles.

She was looking at a large book on the table she was sitting at. Each time she blinked the information on the pages shifted and the strange symbols that were drawn with expert skill morphed into new ones.

Someone tapped on her shoulder. She glanced round and saw her Lunar mate. He looked worried and said something but no sound could be heard. Her own lips moved then before she turned back to her book.

She had cut him away to study, it was her price for this power.

But even this goal was fleeting.


In her room she used a needle of Orichalcum to sew her new dress together. The loom sat to her side and occasionally she would turn to it and work it to begin the next part. It was automatic and so all she needed to do was tidy up what came out.

She didn't like the fact that the Elder Solars dictated that using your own creations was fashionable. She would much rather wear the dresses produced by the greatest solars than her own creations.

She had sent her mate on a hunting trip into the Wyld for some peace and quiet. If she hadn't he would be bothering her while she prepared. A friend of hers was throwing a party soon and she needed to show off her skill. If she wore someone else's creation she would be laughed at and that couldn't be allowed.

She made another adjustment to the loom before returning to her own sewing.


She stood in the rain as around her she heard the sounds of fake mourning. She suspected that those around her had never known true sadness as they made far to much of a show of it.

It turned out that the Exalted were mortal. A survivor from the Primordial War had died of old age.

It was likely none of them had thought about it before. She expected a lot of the people around her would be searching for ways to extend their lives for the next few decades.

It didn't matter to her though, she already knew that life was fleeting.


"My queen, enemy forces are only a few hours away!"

I already knew that, I shooed the man away. He was the captain of my guard and well trained but he didn't interest me anymore. It had been a passing fancy and nothing else.

What was more important were these scrolls detailing the third circle of sorcery. I was close to learning a spell to destroy a large part of the enemy force before combat even started.

Her own forces were poor considering that of her foe. She could always convince him to spare her but she didn't really like his personality. She wouldn't trust him not to bore her.


Her lance stabbed forward, slaying the fey noble and pushing it deep into the pit.

It was a pain to lose that spear due to it's beauty but she had two of the same quality back home. All she had to do to get home was to kill the behemoth that was warping all of creation. It had loccked off heaven and she was the only Exalt that could stop it.

She ran towards it while drawing her twin swords. She didn't like these nearly as much but they would still make a good gift to whomever she decided to woo next.


She lay on her bed seductively as the young Solar blushed and painted her. In all honesty he wasn't that good but he was another conquest for her. Her mate was long gone. He had died during the Time of Cascading Years.

She briefly wondered what he had done to save the world but she still doubted he had done anything at all. He was likely just killed as he tried to solve his problem non-violently.

It didn't matter that much though. He had his time to try and interest her, far more time than she gave to most people.

The world was awash with technology these days. Mortals don't have to worry about anything these days and so they could try and find pleasure themselves.

All people could do as they wished in the pursuit of pleasure.


Sakura's eyes snapped open.

She stood up and then retched. She hadn't eaten anything so she didn't throw up over a mirror tree.

She had been meditating in the silver forest as he had instructed. He had told her that most green sun princes have all the memories of the first age incarnations but that hers had been damaged somehow. If she could recall who her Exaltation had belonged to in the first age she could become much stronger.

She was in shock over the dreams she had had. The woman had gone from a shy girl to a person who sought after fleeting passions. She had left behind those things that no longer interested her.

It was awful.

"They were all like that." The reflection from the tree she came close to throwing up on spoke.

"All the Solars in the first age went mad and lost themselves in it. It seems the previous holder of your Exaltation fell to the flaw of Overindulgence."

Sakura looked around in annoyance "I learned nothing useful from those dreams, this was pointless!"

The trees waved as if there was a wind, making a sound like laughter.

"While not the original goal, you have learned about her curse and in so learned about your curse. Is that not so?"

"What do you mean?" Sakura should have been polite but she was too frustrated to care that much.

"Each curse is part of the nature of the holder. She could not escape Overindulgence as it was a part of her nature."

"So my search is pointless?" Sakura called up "There is no way to avoid betraying them again?"

"With the solars they judged themselves, when they made exceptions and when they made mistakes. Each brought them closer to an eruption. It is different with the Infernal Exalts. Your judgement comes from both you and your patrons Their link to you is a charm, not an aspect of your nature."

Sakura looked up at the trees "So? What can I do to break the link?"

Szoreny laughed again "I'm not telling you that yet. You still require more training. Rest again, seek out old memories."

Sakura sat down again and closed her eyes. Having the attention of a Yozi was meant to be something horrifying not frustrating. Either way, his words brought her hope. If she could sever the link she would be free. She would still have to worry about self judgement but it was better than punishment for disobeying orders.


End of chapter.

More clues in the dreams of her previous incarnation. Anyone who knows Exalted well should be able to guess by now who she was.

Otherwise I want to point out that the dreams occur over 2000 years worth of time. Her previous incarnation lived a long time.