[The scene opens in a hallway. There is a door at the end of it. Suddenly, there is an explosion behind that door, and the kids troop out of the class.]

Edd: [imploring] "Why, Eddy? Why, I ask you. Yet another detention for you and I! It's all fun and games until Academic grades fall, mister!"

Eddy: "Aah, lighten up. It builds character, Sockhead! Did you see how big that vein got on the teacher's head when he started yelling?"

[Ed and Nat stop and looks behind them. Edd and Eddy continue downstairs.]

Eddy: "Man, I though I was gonna bust."

Edd: [holding the detention slip] "The teacher had every right to be upset, Eddy. Why, just the electric rewiring of that classroom alone will take weeks!"

Eddy: [laughing] "You should have seen the look on your face, Sockhead!"

Ed: [racing downstairs] "And did you see the look on Ed's face? I almost wet my eyebrow, guys and girl! Chump here sure knows funny, boy!"

Nat: "Ed!"

[The friends laugh until Eddy realizes how Ed addressed him.]

Eddy: [belligerent] "Who you callin' chump?"

[Ed drags Eddy back up the stairs to the water fountain. There is graffiti over it.]

Ed: "Look!" [reading] "Eddy is a no-neck chump. Can I have your autograph?" [Eddy kicks him.]

Nat: "That's terrible!"

Edd: [horrified] "Good lord! Who in their right mind would deface a sanctum of education?"

Eddy: "Someone who's out to ruin my good name, that's who! It's a smear campaign, I tell ya!"

Edd: "Oh come now, Eddy. This is in no way a greater scheme to ruin your reputation. Why, I think you've done a good job of that on your own."

[Edd and Nat are in the lost and found, arranging various items.]

Edd: "One well-worn sneaker. One knit scarf."

Nat: "One brown pencil case."

Ed: "Oh boy, oh boy, oh–" [Ed and Eddy enter. Eddy proceeds to ransack the lost and found.]

Edd: "What in heaven's name are you doing? Filching from the lost and found? Has this whole school gone mad?" [A pencil case lands on his head, and he topples over.]

Ed: "Not me, Double D. I'm in my happy place. 'Cause Chumpy, the no-neck Eddy, has a plan!"

[Eddy shoves Ed into a wall and continues to look through the box.]

Eddy: "Just wait till I get my hands on the jerk who wrote those lies! Why I'll–"

Edd: "Report them to the school authorities?"

Nat: "Not let it get to you?"

Eddy: "Too easy! I'm going incognito, Sockhead and Turtleneck. With a super disguise, I'll create an alter-ego that'll let me schmooze and mingle among the rats without them knowing it's me! And then when I found out who did it–bam!" [He pushes his friends out of the lost and found and laughs evilly.] "No peeking!"

[Eddy slams the door and goes to hunt for a disguise.]

Edd: "Well, he certainly has the ego."

Nat: "Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?"

Ed: "Every day of my life, Nat."

[The door creaks open and Eddy walks out. His clothes look kind of like Ed's, only the shirt is on over the jacket.]

Eddy: "Huh, so? Whaddya think? My own mother wouldn't recognize me."

Edd: "Eddy, it's painfully obvious you're still you."

Nat: "Who would-"

Ed: "Look! A new kid!" [to Eddy] "My name is Ed, friend! Well, it's just Ed, not Ed friend, I am Ed, and you are a friend so–"

Eddy: [shaking hands] "Howdy, Ed! My name's uh–Carl! My family just flew in from...Ecuador!"

Ed: "Eddy's gonna like you, Carl!"

Eddy: [whispering to Edd and Nat] "Bingo." [He walks away.]

Ed: [into the lost and found] "Oh Eddy! Come and meet Carl, Eddy! Eddy?"

[Rolf is under the bleachers, looking at a failed test. Eddy straightens his disguise and goes to meet him.]

Rolf: "This alphabet F confounds Rolf to no end! Phooey!" [He feeds Victor the test and takes another out.] "Rolf would not line Wilfred's bladder feed with such drivel!" [Eddy appears.]

Eddy: "Howdy!" [His hat tilts, and he straightens it.] "I'm new in town, and...was wondering if–"

Rolf: "Rolf shares in your awkwardness, as Rolf too is a stranger in this strange land. A son of a shepherd. Cast adrift on the far distant shore."

Ed: "Rolf!" [He hands Rolf a poorly drawn picture of Eddy.] "Have you seen this no-neck chump?"

Rolf: "The snake-in-the-grass Ed-boy is missing?"

Ed: "Yep. If you see him, bind him with duct tape, as he does not play well with others and has been known to dribble."

Rolf: "Is this so?"

[Eddy backs away and tears the picture off his hat. A football hits him from behind.]

Kevin: "Dude, good hands! C'mon, we need a receiver, man!" [Eddy looks around, confused.]

Eddy: "Me? A receiver?"

Kevin: "You must be new, dude. The name's Kevin." [He thrusts out his fist, and Eddy cowers. Slowly, Eddy realizes it's a fist bump, and he exchanges the greeting.]

Eddy: "My name's Carl."

Jonny: [darting up] "My name's Jonny! And this here's my buddy Plank! We're playing hockey, and you can be shortstop!" [He dances around Eddy until Kevin pulls Eddy away.]

Kevin: "Don't listen to Clueless, Carl. So, you good for some extra yards after that catch, bro?"

Jonny: "Plank says we need to break the new kid in!"

Kevin: "Right. Dogpile on the new kid!"

[The kids jump Eddy.]

Jonny: "Woohoo!"

Kevin: "Righteous!"

Nazz: "Yeah!"

Sarah: "Pile on the new kid!"

Jimmy: "Here I come, suckas!"

[The kids laugh.]

Jonny: "Did you hear my back crack?"

Nazz: "Isn't this fun?" [She giggles.] "Hi. I'm Nazz. What's your name?"

Eddy: [nervous] "Um...I forget. No wait–I'm Carl. Yeah."

Ed: "People!" [He snaps the grass out from under them.] "I have lost my Eddy. Trip you might over him, as he is short and squirrels like to pelt him with nuts." [He hands out fliers.]

Jimmy: "My wish has come true, Sarah. Eddy's disappeared!"

Sarah: "Good riddance."

Eddy: "So Kevin. Who is this good looking Eddy kid anyway?"

Kevin: "Don't sweat it, Carl. Something you'll never be. A dork!"

Eddy: "Thanks, guy."

Jonny: "Watch me, Carl! One potato two potato three potato four!" [He hits Kevin over the head with the ball.] "It's a home run, buddy!"

Kevin: "Carl, help me lump this guy!"

[An angered Kevin chases after Jonny. Edd and Nat comes up next to Eddy.]

Edd: "Well, Carl, have you found this perpetrator of your smear campaign yet?"

Eddy: [whispering] "Double D! Nat! Something's really messed up here! They're all being nice! Too nice! Feels like they're setting me up for something!"

Nat: "It isn't like that Eddy."

Edd: "As foreign as it may sound to you, it's called acceptance, Carl. Unlike Eddy, Carl has done nothing to ostracize himself from the group dynamic. Carl has a clean slate, if you will."

Eddy: "No foolin?" [Ed bumps Edd out of the way and hands Eddy a flyer.]

Ed: "Have you seen my Eddy? His turn-ons are full-length mirrors, greasy hair products, and yelling. LOTS OF YELLING!"

Eddy: "Looks like a loser to me." [He tosses the paper away.]

Nat: "No he's not."

Edd: [smug] "But that loser is you, Eddy."

Eddy: "Not anymore, kid. That dork's hit the trail. From now on, it's the good life with Carl, kid. That's me. Nice guy."

Edd: "But Eddy, THERE IS NO CARL!" [Eddy shoves Edd backwards.]

Kevin: "Whoa, Carlster. You know these two dorks and girl?"

Eddy: "Not likely, friend. I wouldn't hang with these washouts if they were the last two dorks and girl on earth."

Kevin: [laughing] "Right on! You're awesome, man."

Nat: [irritated] "Are you serious?!"

Edd: [angered] "Well I never! Of all the no good–Nat. Eddy's tossed us aside to the shallow allure of the in crowd."

Nat: "The nerve!"

Ed: [tearful] "I miss my Eddy, Double D!"

Edd: "Worry not, dear Nat and Ed. I have a suspicion Eddy will be back sooner than he thinks."

[Kevin is talking to Eddy as the kids walk up the stairs.]

Kevin: "No, really! So then I smooth the teacher over, give him props on his toupee, and the guy gives me a B on the quiz! I swear!" [The kids laugh.]

Eddy: [fake laughing] "Good one, Kev."

[Eddy walks over to the drinking fountain and has a drink. He looks up and sees that on the graffiti, Eddy has been crossed out and Carl is written above it.]

Eddy: "Carl is a no-neck chump?"

[He hears laughter behind him and looks around. The kids are laughing. He backs to the wall.]

Nazz: "Carl, is something the matter, dude?"

[Eddy hightails it out of there, much to the kids disappointment; apparently they weren't laughing at him.]

[Ed is on a bench, crying, while Edd and Nat comfort him.]

Ed: "Somewhere my Eddy is cold and alone, and will soon have to resort to having to eat his own body parts in order to survive, Nat and Double D!" [He collapses to the ground.]

Nat: [comforting] "It's ok Ed he'll come back."

Edd: [comforting] "Perhaps a rest from television tonight, yes Ed?"

[Eddy runs by angrily.]

Eddy: "They think they can put one over on me? Good luck! 'Cause I'm always one step ahead, baby!"

[Eddy dives into the lost and found again.]

Eddy: [finding a disguise] "Aha! Wait'll they meet me!"

[Eddy walks into the halls. He has hidden stilts inside his pants, and has an eyepatch over one eye. He wears a beret and has a scarf wrapped around his neck.]

Eddy: "Hey, kids! I'm fresh to this school! I'm Hugo! Whazzup?"

[He looks at the drinking fountain. Carl has been crossed out and replaced with Hugo.]

Eddy: "Huh? Hugo?"

[Eddy storms down the stairs angrily. Seconds later he reappears wearing a wig and a dress.]

Eddy: "That Hugo. What a no-neck chump. Hi, I'm Suzette, and just started here."

Kevin: "Man. What's with all the new kids?"

Nazz: "Kinda nice. The more the merrier!"

Jonny: [xenophobic] "I bet they're gonna take over and get us expelled!"

Jimmy: "Do you think, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Jonny's an idiot, Jimmy."

[Plank slides across the floor and lands under Eddy, looking up his skirt.]

Eddy: "Say, whose awesome handwriting is this?!" [Jonny comes to get Plank.] "It's so smart and neato!" [Jonny listens to Plank.] "I bet it was the cute guy in the red hat!"

[Jonny comes over and whispers in Kevin's ear. Kevin throws the football–a guided missile that slams into Eddy's face, knocking him out of his dress. Kevin walks over.]

Kevin: "Nice to meet you, Dorkette!" [He takes his football back.] "Man, you're so desperate!"

[The kids laugh. The bell rings, and they walk away, leaving a mostly naked Eddy in the middle of the hall.]

Eddy: [belligerent] "Oh yeah? You think I care? Who needs ya! Go on, write what you want! I'm bulletproof, baby!"

Edd: [smug] "Trouble in paradise, Eddy? Or should I say Carl? Hugo? Or is it Suzette?" [He giggles.]

Nat: "Good to have you back Eddy."

Ed: "My Eddy!" [He hugs Eddy.] "Where have you been, mister." [He carries Eddy away.] "I have been worried sick about you."

[Edd puts on rubber gloves. He goes over to the fountain and wets a sponge. Edd uses the wet sponge to clean off the graffiti–except for the one reading "Eddy is a no-neck chump."]

Edd: "Friendship restored. Thank goodness for water-soluble markers." [He throws a purple marker in the trash and walks away with Nat.]

Nat: "Y'know I don't get something."

Edd: "What is that?"

Nat: "Who wrote the graffiti in the first place?"

Edd: "We may never know Nat, We may never know."

[Ed is leading Eddy home and describing Carl to him.]

Ed: [excited] "And he's got big hair! Wait till you meet Carl, Eddy! He's from Ecuador! Fancy."

Eddy: "You're giving me a headache, Ed!"