Chapter 105, everybody, in which I must manage my blood pressure in the face of the blatant cheating, lying, and carrying on with our election. In other news, the kids aren't having a good day either. D:

Important point of order and why Honda is certain this is not that: the Bible is very, very, very detailed in Its description of the bad place. Very much ensures that you mistake there for nothing else. D:

Movie this week is…I…don't think I watched any movies this past week. Huh. Did watch the e-racing finale though, which was nice.

Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Yes, it was about time! :D Darn technical difficulties…and good question! Let's find out….

References:

Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi

The Nightmare Before Christmas © 1993 Tim Burton

Dharma and Greg © 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)

Criminal Minds © 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)

Skulduggery Pleasant © 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages, Serpine, Crux, Marr…)

Don't Starve © 2013 Klei Entertainment ("Say pal, quit making me work")

Balto © 1995 Simon Wells (the "I hit my head on something" exchange)

Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)

Being sucked through a portal felt very much like what he imagined a bug flushed down the drain must feel like. He couldn't make sense of which direction was up, it felt like the air was being sucked out of his lungs, and his eyes stayed clenched shut from a combination of the wind in them and the fact that his surroundings were offensive to the organs. Just—it had to be over soon, let it be over soon—

A vacuum, ringing in the ears, the knowledge of which way up was again—

The very real knowledge that they were falling, and falling from a great height.

"Oh no," Kels managed, before the screaming took over.

Yami splayed, tried to grab the magic and throw it down to slow their fall, cushion it, something—

Nothing worked. Nothing caught, nothing happened.

There was no magic here.

No.

No we can't die like this—

Dig deep as the ground beneath them came rushing up, eager to splatter them against its irregular terrain—dig deep until he was scraping the very essence of his magical core, focus the energy on one specific task—

It wasn't much per person, and it felt like some wicked away as it went to them, but they were slowing down—it wouldn't hurt too much—

And then the sudden uptake.

They laid there for a long time, Yami debating on whether moving anytime soon was a good idea as the others started moaning and hauling themselves into a sitting position.

"Ohh, I think I hit my head on something!" Jonouchi groaned.

"Yeah," Honda said. "My head."

"You okay?" Yami asked, looking at Yuki.

"Yeah," he gasped. "Nice that we landed on something soft."

"Funny," came from beneath them, muffled. "I would have said you landed on something bony."

Everyone scrambled upright and away—

Yami Skellington shoved himself up from the faceplant he had been squashed into, looked like he was about to launch into an irritated tirade—

Shifted to a look of dawning horror as he registered them. "Uh-oh."

Which was also when Yami registered that wherever they were, it was not Delvaire—Delvaire definitely had more straight lines than this. And color.

"I vote run," Kels said.

Yami Skellington was the only objection to that.

*\*/*

Yami was very much enjoying work today, despite the best endeavors of the Administrators.

"Max, I'm going to need you to go over these plans for Halloween," Yami told him, depositing a stack half as tall as he was on Maxwell's desk.

Of course, asking Maxwell to do something productive was a chore in and of itself, up to and including getting him to actually think about it, and the way he was leaning away from the stack was a good indicator of that.

"You want me to go through all that before the end of the month?" he asked. "Are you daft?"

"Oh no, these are the plans for next Halloween," Yami said, tapping them. "I already have most of the staff working on this Halloween—the drivel they were getting ready to pass as a holiday, seriously."

"You live for this month, don't you," Maxwell sighed, poking at the stack with a pen. "Can't I wait until November for this? I'll have three hundred and sixty-five days then."

"Three sixty-four."

"Whatever. Well why you were looking through every mausoleum, opening up sarcophagi and tromping through pumpkin patches, I was very busy doing the most difficult task of doing nothing."

"How is that difficult? You literally do nothing."

"I want to see you do nothing for five minutes."

"Can't, not my nature. Besides, Teana seems to like me working."

"Ah, so this is her fault," Maxwell said, indicating the stack. "Tell her that I'm not dating her, I shouldn't have to suffer."

"You probably should anyway, considering you put more effort into not working than actually working."

"It's a living," Maxwell sighed, pulling out a cigar. "So what are you doing, considering you have clear into next year planned."

"I was thinking of taking off and taking Teana to a movie or somewhat—I need ideas."

"I like the idea of you taking off, but if you're asking me for dating advice you're barking up the wrong tree."

"Yes, I've noticed," Yami observed, watching him blow a smoke ring out the window. "You ever think that girls might like you better if you were nicer?"

"I've tried, I ended up spraining something. Probably my gizzard, was out for weeks, wasn't worth it."

"I'm pretty sure people don't have gizzards—I think that's a bird thing."

"Chaos had gizzards, and aren't we supposed to be descended from them?"

"Oh dear, when did you listen to the good doctors?"

"They sent in a treatise to the library with a copy to be forwarded to the Capitol and I was bored. And then I was more bored—save me from academia."

Yami couldn't disagree with that.

"So," he asked, folding his hands on the stack and leaning on it. "Are you going to give this a looksee? Preferably a more thorough one than you gave the doctors' treatise?"

"If I must. Now get out of here, you bother me."

"That must mean you're working," Yami decided, drumming his hands on the stack before turning into a bird and flying through the window. "Well, then must be off! Ta!"

"Showoff," he heard Maxwell mutter.

*/*\*

It felt like hours later, but they finally came to a halt, lost in the warrens of the twisted town. They gasped for breath; some collapsed into a seated position on the ground.

Yami looked around cautiously.

"I think we—"

"Don't say it," Kels interrupted sharply. "If you say it, then you jinx it." She glanced around. "Where the heck are we?"

"I think 'heck' is considered the softer version of the word," Yami observed drily.

They all went silent at that and crossed themselves.

"We're not really—" Jonouchi started.

"No," Honda insisted. "It doesn't match the description. I'm going with Purgatory, or-or some sort of alternate dimension—isn't that where your bones are supposed to be banished?"

"Yeah sure HOW does that make this better!?"

"So how do we get home?" Anzu asked.

Yami went stony-faced. The only way Skellington had gotten out of this limbo was by Yami summoning him. And if the best and brightest of a generation of Magicians couldn't figure their way out (and Yami was certain they had tried), then they were as good as stuck. By extension, only someone on the outside could get them out. His parents were convinced that they were on a week-long camping trip. They would probably give them ten days before they started to worry. They'd search the forest. And would Crux fess up and tell them that their children had been sucked into a portal along with Skellington? Doubtful. Because then that would raise questions about Skellington's presence in Delvaire, and then the Administration would rightfully blame Yami, and then they would be left here. A simple matter of convenient sentencing.

All this went through Yami's head, and more, a verifiable sinkhole that left him with no good answer. Instead, he opted to glance around.

"First, we're going to have to find out where we are," Yami decided, wanting something to do, a goal to reach towards.

"Send Horus up," Honda said without preamble.

Yami took off the hat in question and examined it. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said finally. "Magic's not as strong here, and I don't want to risk destroying Horus."

"So we'll just have to find our way around ourselves," Bakura observed. "No problem, it's not like this place isn't laid out the same as back home."

"Yeah—until we actually get home, please refrain from tempting Murphy's Law," Kels told him.

"What if we get turned around?" Yuki asked.

"Not a problem," Jonouchi said, providing a piece of chalk. "Watch."

And he drew a little squiggle onto the wall.

"Now we'll know we've been here before," he said triumphantly.

"And hopefully no one else will use those scribbles," Kels hoped.

"Who else is here?" Anzu asked, concerned.

Kels was quiet for a few beats, calculating. "At least two dozen angry dead men and women."

Silence again as everybody crossed themselves. Yuki pressed against Yami's side with a whimper.

"We'll have to take that chance," Yami decided. "We can't stay here forever."

But as they set off, Yami realized that that was a very real possibility.