Chapter 105 – Torn in two
Phoenix P.O.V
I had been sitting on the edge of my cliff face on Warring Point, silently staring at the frothing waves below and debating with the idea of contacting Rachet to let him know I was thinking of returning, when my comms unit went off unexpectedly.
::Calling all Autobots! Calling all Autobots!::
As soon as the rich, baritone voice washed over my audials and flowed through my processor, my spark was torn between flaring to life and painfully constricting at the sound of HIS voice. I quickly stood to my pedes, my servo flying to my helm and I strained to capture every word, even though it was not directed specifically to me. Though as that beloved voice continued with its message, my spark lurched in its casing and I felt the need to empty the contents of my tank.
::We are under targeted attack.. cease all contact with humans immediately and go into hiding. We are being hunted:: My other servo flew to my dermas and stifled a gasp of shock as I noticed and heard the underlying pain in his voice /He is hurt… badly!/.
::I will return to you all as soon as I can – IF I can. Optimus Prime out:: I felt one of my servos reach out involuntarily into the cold air before me as his voice disappeared, as if I could somehow dissuade his presence from leaving me.
That was it.
No location, no mention of a plan to regroup, no mention of his injuries, though from how badly he was trying to mask his pain in his message I would say they were significant indeed. I stood stiff as a pole and replayed the message again, desperate to hear his voice and desperate to try and divine any clue as to where he may be or what state he may be in.
::Calling all Autobots! Calling all Autobots. We are under targeted attack.. cease all contact with humans immediately and go into hiding. We are being hunted. I will return to you all as soon as I can – IF I can. Optimus Prime out::
::IF I can:: The words replayed over and over in my processor. The emphasis he had placed on that single word ''IF'' told me all I needed to know about his condition. My spark throbbed painfully in its casing and I felt my servo move to clutch at my chest. Yet despite the concern and worry that flooded my systems, a flare of anger tore through me. /Not a word from him for over two years and the first time I DO hear from him, it is an emergency call to ALL Autobots and it is possibly the first and LAST time I hear from him!/.
Icy cold, indignant rage boiled through my lines and I was torn between hating him for not having reached out to me sooner and hating myself for doing the same. For leaving it until there may not be a chance to say all that remains unspoken between us.
I began to pace back and forth atop my cliff like a wild creature. My servos clenched by my sides and I made a low, feral growl as I fought a silent battle. /IF… For Optimus to openly admit he may not be able to get to his Autobots, he must be grievously injured indeed/, I thought to myself. Suddenly, I stopped pacing for a moment as a single, terrifying thought coalesced in my processor and I whispered the words out loud, ''He must know there is a chance he is not going to survive. That he is likely going to die.''
I closed my optics tightly and felt a tremor of frustration, fear and anger sweep over me. All at once I turned my helm to the heavens and allowed an angry, terrified, painful scream erupt from my dermas as I threw my arms down by my sides and my whole body ignited into furious flames. My frame continued to shake with the strength of my emotions as I stood there like a fiery beacon on top of the cliff.
I cast my optics out across the steel grey sea beneath me and wrestled with my thoughts. /Do I stay here and leave him to his fate – leave all of them to fend for themselves? OR, do I take flight and try to see what I can do to help, try to learn what has become of him and the others?/.
I closed my optics yet again as that cold snake of jealousy raised its hooded head. /For all you know he and Elita have renewed their bond and are happy together. For all you know Phoenix, Elita may be with him at this very moment protecting and looking after him and your presence is not needed – or wanted – at all/. I felt my resolve begin to crumble with that poisonous thought. The flames began to die down as the fight and fury seemed to leave my body.
I stepped back away from the edge and came to lean heavily against the wall of my makeshift home. My voice sounded foreign and emotionless even to my own audials, ''If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it was and always will be yours.'' The words came back to mock me again and the flames that had consumed me, died out. He had not come back to me. He had not even tried to come back to me. He had not even tried to contact me.
A small voice deep inside of me screamed out for attention, desperately trying to beat the cold snake of jealousy into submission. ''But he DOES care about you. Rachet said so – more than anybody else. Perhaps even her.'' I sighed out loud and slammed my servo into the side of the cliff face, chunks of rock cascaded down towards the ground. Crumbling – like my resolve.
Slowly, and rather incongruously, I felt a smile spread across my dermas as I was struck by a thought. /This is Prime we are talking about. It took him SIX years to admit he had feelings for you. It has only been TWO years Phoenix – perhaps it is too early to discount him just yet/.
As if from nowhere, I heard myself speak out loud words I seemed to have forgotten, with more conviction than I felt I possessed, ''Courage in the place of fear, faith and resolve when only doubt and uncertainty surround.'' I closed my optics.
/Primus/.
A warmth filled me. I had forgotten. Consumed by my own petty insecurities and fears I had forgotten my purpose. Optimus or not – I was given a task and a purpose. Hiding away on an isolated and desolate rock was not why I had been reborn as The Phoenix!
I rose to my pedes. ''If Optimus IS in danger and injured, then as a Prime, I have a duty to help protect the Autobots in his stead.'' I initiated my transformation sequence and within moments, stood atop my cliff as The Phoenix, my wings outstretched and aflame, my optics keenly fixed on the horizon before me. ''Courage and faith Phoenix. Courage to face the fact you may have lost Optimus to Elita or to death,'' I squeezed my optics tight and shook my helm in defiance, ''faith that neither has come to pass and you will be together again - one day.'' I stood there, hesitating a moment as if trying to break free of the final vestiges of doubt.
All of a sudden, the crackling sound of a comm coming through and a worried voice erupted into my audials. ::Phoenix! It's me, Rachet. Acknowledge!::
I smiled. ::Phoenix here. Are you alright Rachet?::
There was a sigh of relief at the sound of my voice and I smiled fondly at my friend. ::I assume you heard Prime's message. I wanted to see… if you were alright::
I ex-vented deeply before I replied. :: I DID hear his message thanks Rachet. I admit, it has concerned me. You and I both know Prime well enough to know he is badly injured, and this is quite serious. Still, Elita is with him so I am sure she will take care of him:: I tried to keep the petty jealousy out of my voice but to my shame, I was not very successful. Rachet seemed to ignore this.
::Phoenix. Elita is NOT with Prime:: the medic supplied very matter of factly and with an air of concern in his voice.
My spark froze and I felt every cable, gear, wire and fibre of my being tense with worry. ::What do you mean, she is NOT with him? They went to Mexico City together. Surely she is still with him and is helping him?::
Rachet gave a loud sigh down the comm line. ::Phoenix, she just commed me a moment ago, not long after Prime's message came through. She is consumed with worry and guilt and she explained how Prime ordered her to leave him::
I interrupted, unable to fathom what I was hearing. ::Why did she have to leave him? Why would Prime ORDER her to leave him? What the HELL happened Rachet?:: I could feel my spark pulsing rapidly in my chest.
There was a moment's silence before my friend replied in hushed voice. ::Phoenix, they were ambushed:: My spark stopped and the energon in my lines froze. ::They were ambushed by both this new human taskforce AND Lockdown, a merciless Cybertronian bounty hunter. Why Lockdown is involved, none of us know. Prime made Elita leave just after the attack as he thought they were unaware of her existence and he wanted to try and protect her..::
I closed my optics, /Of course he did, he loves her and that is just the kind of thing HE would do!/.
Rachet continued unaware of my bitter thoughts. ::She returned later against his orders and was able to help him escape for a moment before he very adamantly ordered her to abandon him and return to us to raise the alarm and regroup. Prime bore the brunt of it and, as no doubt you heard in his message, he is not in a good way::
My optics flew open and a fierce, determined expression settled on my face, ::WHERE IS HE RACHET?:: I yelled down the comm line not caring at the tone in my voice.
::That's just it Phoenix! No one knows where he is. Elita, myself, Ironhide, Hound, Bee all of us have been trying at different intervals to contact him. Nothing. It is as though he… He::
::NO! Do NOT say it Rachet. He cannot be. I refuse to believe it:: My voice cracked with emotion and I felt my body shake as a myriad of emotions tore through me like a hurricane.
There was a loud sigh again as Rachet began to reply. :: I was GOING to say it is as though he has just disappeared Phoenix. It could simply be that the damage he sustained has somehow affected his communications systems and we are unable to reach him and he us. At least, that is what I am choosing to believe::
I felt myself nodding slowly. ::Yes. That is likely it Rachet. It makes sense:: I sighed out loud, trying to dispel all of the tension and fear from within me. ::What of the Autobots? Where are you all? Have you all scattered to the winds or do you remain together somewhere?::
Once more Rachet gave in to that human habit of sighing. ::Following Prime's orders and the determination with which this new task force has in hunting down Transformers, regardless of faction, Ironhide, Elita and I have given the order to scatter in small groups or on our own if we choose. We present less of a target that way than if we were to stay together:: There was regret and sorrow in the medic's voice.
::I see. I guess it makes sense:: I paused a moment. ::Rachet, PLEASE stay safe. Promise me, you will stay safe:: I dropped my voice to a low, almost inaudible whisper, :: I can't lose you too::
I heard a small, affectionate chuckle down the comm line. ::I will do my best Phoenix:: There was another pause before his voice continued, slightly gruff with emotion ::Same goes for you Phoenix, stay safe, please. I CAN'T lose anymore friends:: I wanted to reach down the comm line and hug him, even though he would likely object. Rachet gave a ''cough,'' ::Besides, you are safer where you are. It would be foolish to come here. Prime would want you to stay away. We will be okay. I will keep in touch when I can::
I felt a sly grin spread across my face though I kept it out of my voice. ::I will hold you to that Rachet, remember I am but a comm away:: /For now…./ I thought.
::Understood Phoenix. I have to go, we are preparing to head out now. Goodbye Phoenix, till next time. Rachet out:: And the line went dead.
The grin spread further across my dermas and my battle mask slid into place. With two big strides I ran forward and leapt off my cliff, beating my massive metallic wings and soaring high into the frigid arctic air. I gave a quick glance back towards what was my ''home'' for the past two years. While a small part of me would miss it, it was time to head back to my real home – my Autobot family – wherever they may be.
/It would be foolish to come here…. Prime would want you to stay away/. Rachet's words echoed in my processor. I laughed out loud to the skies, ''Well Rachet, you and I both know I have done many foolish things over the years, why change a habit of a lifetime''. /And Prime may want me to stay away but I also wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Sometimes, we just don't get what we want - do we?/.
As I raced through the sky towards my destination, I made a decision. I would not tell them I was coming. I would keep watch over them, protect them from afar and all the while I would search for Optimus. /He is alive. Somewhere. Somehow. I will not let us end like this/.
Higher, further, faster I flew.
All the while, the same words flowed through my spark and my processor, a silent prayer giving me strength and guiding me. /Courage. Faith. Love/.
