Chapter 107, everybody! Gotta get back to work on that buffer….
So a chunk of this was actually written up years ago, which means I had to do some polishing. Saying that, if it's kind of rough, that's why. ^^; We're also entering a chunk of chapters where I had written ahead years ago, and now that I've finally gotten to them story-wise they just didn't fit so…old stuff binned, time to rewrite. ^^;
In other news…yeah a good chunk of this part got rewritten too. ^^; Back in 2008/2009 when I first started this, it was a fic that I was puzzling out in a campus college (and has since become catharsis for that experience) and entertaining myself with a friend and just throwing everything at it. Initially, this chapter introduced a pair called Spite and Malice, but in later years of writing up to it I realized it made more sense to have the local detective be the one sent after the kids. This chapter also originally had Teana being introduced to the Lackadaisy group, which should tell you how outdated it was by the time I even started posting the fic. ^^; Bakura and Marik are quoting Quest for Camelot, by the way.
Movie this week is the 1998 Godzilla—don't know why it gets such a bad rap, honestly….
Angiembabe, thanks for the review! Oh yes definitely. We should find out this chapter and…busy herding cats is probably a good description. ;)
References:
Yu-Gi-Oh! © 1996 Kazuki Takahashi
The Nightmare Before Christmas © 1993 Tim Burton
Dharma and Greg © 1997 Dottie Dartland & Chuck Lorre (Greg and his side of the Montgau family)
Criminal Minds © 2005 Jeff Davis (the other side of the Montgau family)
Skulduggery Pleasant © 2007 Derek Landy (the concept of Head Mages, Serpine, Crux, Marr…)
Malice © 2009 Chris Wooding (Tall Jake)
Lackadaisy Cats © 2006 Tracy J. Butler (the cat-people)
Hollow Fields © 2007 Madeleine Rosca (the clockwork-people)
Original characters, + setting © Kineil D. Wicks (myself, not the girl in the story)
Lunch was at a nice airy open café, which surprised Teana.
"I figured you'd like someplace less eccentric," Yami said. "And besides, the weather's too nice to stay indoors—I'd say it's been weird, but I'm not complaining."
"Chaos weather," Teana said—blinked at his grimace. "What?"
"Eh, was talking with Max earlier and he brought those up too—apparently Doctor Finkelstein and Doctor Grouse wrote up a treatise and sent copies to the library here and the one in the Capitol for perusal and Max was bored."
"Do me a favor: never let that man get bored."
"I'm inclined to agree, considering I've spent lunch wondering if I have a gizzard or not—while I'm a bird doesn't count."
"I feel like it counts somewhat."
"Meh," he noised, putting his teacup down. "But now I have him working on the plans for next Halloween—I'm guessing tomorrow we'll have to go over them so we can get started. He tried pushing it off till November, but knowing him he'll be impossible to find that month."
"I'm moderately worried and impressed."
"Yeah—if he put the energy towards working that he puts towards not working, he'd actually be kind of scary."
"Lucky you have the rest of you to pick up the slack," she said, picking through her salad.
"Well, I have Skul—the rest of the staff are varying degrees of helpful, starting from Max and going downhill from there."
"Ouch."
But as though the statement had summoned him, Skulduggery Pleasant was sitting in a backwards chair at the table. "Oh hello. Wonderful weather we're having, isn't it?"
Teana had to blink at him, review her memory of the last minute before answering. "Did you just vault that fence?"
"Yes, it was very impressive if I do say so myself."
"Uh, hi," Yami said.
"Hello," Skulduggery said, nodding at him. "That is a Ghastly tie."
"It…is," Yami said—narrowed his eyes at him. "You said that so you can insult it, didn't you?"
"He's onto me," Skulduggery said to Teana in an undertone.
"Uh…huh," she noised. "Going back to why you were vaulting a fence?"
"Need to keep the reflexes sharp, firstly. Secondly, saw you, was wondering if you had anything more to tell me about our little murder investigation."
She grimaced, both at him and at Yami when tea went up his nose.
"Wait, what?!" he coughed. "Who died?!"
"Kineil," Skulduggery told him. "At some point. Well, we all are, but she dies in an orchard. Miss Teana having a precognitive dream means I get the joy of solving a future-murder. All the fun of a murder investigation, only with a lot less blood splatter. I'm trying to decide if this is good news or not."
"Oh, that," Yami muttered. Looked at Teana. "Are you okay?"
"I have a headache," she muttered, leaning on her elbows and rubbing her face.
"You keep having those," Skulduggery said. "At this point I'm thinking either aneurysm or psychic awakening—they have the same symptoms."
"I'm pretty sure it's you—you're the headache."
"Shame on you," Yami said. "We were having a good time until you showed up. I even avoided all eye-rolling topics—do you know how long I've been hunting for those?"
"No, you found them, my eyes were just tired."
"Ah."
"You both learn to live with it," Skulduggery said sagely. "Unfortunately, my investigation has reached a dead end. Well, not dead-dead, but still. I've narrowed down all suspects in Delvaire, now I must search the Capitol for other suspects. Don't do any crime while I'm away."
"Are you just going around telling people that?"
"Yes. I'm also leaving a day later than I'm saying, so I can catch everyone misbehaving while they think I'm gone. It's the perfect system."
"You're problematic, you know that, right?" Teana asked him.
"I've been informed," Skulduggery said, looking at Yami's soup. "Are you going to eat that?"
Yami looked at it. "At some point."
"Perfect," Skulduggery said, putting it in front of himself and stealing a spoon. "I've also cleared Max of any wrongdoing in relation to this future-murder, but I'm certain he's up to something—he has that face."
"Can I report a soup theft?"
"You cannot, I've already reviewed the case and there's no evidence."
Yami chewed on the inside of his cheek during Skulduggery's moment of silence. "I'm pretty sure I see some evidence right there."
"There won't be."
Teana watched the event for a moment before looking at Yami. "Can't you just—I don't know, magic some soup up?"
"Eh, no—be kind of pointless, actually," he said, gesturing a little. "If you use magic to make food, the magic comes from yourself—so I'd be eating my own magic, and I'd end up feeling about as full as I do now. Now, feeding it to someone else is a different story."
She was going to regret asking, she knew it. "Why, what happens?"
"It ends up transferring your magic into the person," Yami explained. "Fills them up, but in doing so it drains yourself—do it without replacing it and you actually die faster."
"It was happening a lot in Railside until certain people worked to correct that," Skulduggery said, dipping a chunk of bread in his soup. So he was aware of what Idgy did in her spare time. "Worst-case scenario is that it should only be done when there's literally no option available and one person doesn't mind killing themselves to do it."
"That still sounds bad," she observed.
"Now see that you've put her off her appetite—shoo," Yami said, waving Skulduggery off.
"You're lucky I've finished," Skulduggery said, flicking a hand at Yami. "Well then best be off—I'll be gone the next couple of days but if you think of anything, write it down." This addressed to Teana.
"I'd rather not," she said.
"Yes, but when am I ever going to get another chance?"
"Vaulting the fence again is necessary?"
"Gates are like doors," Skulduggery reported from the street. "They're for people with no imagination."
"I can think of at least one set of Gates that doesn't apply to," Yami pointed out.
"Yes well, understand when I say these things I am referring to the earthly plane. Ta."
"So I don't know if this turned out well or not," Yami said, blinking before looking at her. "Are you okay?"
"The good news is, the headache walked away," Teana said, waving in the direction Skulduggery went. "The bad news is, I have some lingering effects from him visiting."
"Ah. Is there anything I can do?"
"Distract me?"
"That covers a lot of ground."
"I was thinking with the movie."
"I can do that," he said, putting a napkin aside. "Allow me to pay this bill and we can be off—fence or gate?"
"What do you think?"
"Pedestrian way it is then."
*/*\*
They had stayed in the balcony, reasonably guessing that the dead denizens would gather in that building in particular, considering how it looked.
Indeed, shortly after the announcement had occurred, the doors opened and people started piling in, voices bouncing off the walls and ceiling and rattling around in the eaves. Yami was worried he'd be deaf before it was all over. He and his friends plastered themselves against the wall, not wishing to be seen.
But that darned curiosity was eating at Yami again.
He carefully crawled over to the balcony's edge, thankfully sending up no warning creaks. He reached the edge, took a few deep breaths, then looked out onto the main floor.
He had to stifle a gasp upon seeing the interior.
For one, there were more dead denizens present than Kels had guessed. Much more.
For another…a lot of them just didn't look human anymore.
He was able to pick out a few examples as they milled around. Hephaestus—who in the sepia pictures had looked like Jonouchi in a suit—had red irises and straight black horns growing out from above his ears; his associate Vulcan resembled Honda in all but the suit, the electric yellow irises, and the curved yellow horns. As Yami watched, an arc of electricity crossed between the two points.
They were perhaps the most normal-looking of the group. Many had retained fairly human appearances, the only thing about them different being pale skin and dark eyes. Others had gained height, towering over the others by a foot or more. But many were…monsters. That was the only word for them. Clockwork women, shambling men, skeletons, even cat-people—the stuff of nightmares.
He couldn't help but stare, even as some of his friends made their way over to look. Yuki whimpered and pressed tight to his side.
There wasn't even a word for how much trouble they were in.
He felt Kels tense from her position beside him—glance at her, follow her line of sight, look down to see another one of those tall dead men enter. Pale blue coat and highwayman hat contrasted with a red cape and red orb atop his bone-white cane. With the exception of his height and his limp, he was fairly normal-looking. But unlike the others, he exuded malice, the negative emotion roiling off him like heat waves.
He spun around and looked up, apparently sensing their gaze. Yami and Kels ducked back, but not before Yami caught a glimpse of the man's face—or lack thereof. It was pitch black, with angry red eyes shining out.
Yami cut a glance to Kels, trembling with fear beside him. He made the mosaics, she mouthed to him.
Yami could tell—the feeling was the same, of being hunted; he could sense the man's searching gaze, knew that he had seen something, but couldn't put his finger on it.
"Hey, Jake!" A voice Yami recognized as Kineil's called. "Stop blocking traffic and sit down already!"
Yami felt a cold sensation in his stomach as the man moved away. Tall Jake Hemlock, the Poison Artist, only talked about in rumor. He glanced at Kels.
"Well," she said in a very quiet voice. "Now we know why his art was banned."
Yami nodded in assent and glanced back out over the floor.
Skellington emerged from behind the curtain with a flourish.
"Thank you for coming, everyone!" he said, as two men exited the curtain near the wall and made their way down the steps.
"It's not like we have anything better to do," the taller one said.
There were some muttering agreements to this. Skellington waved the complaints away.
"Trust me, this is worth your while," he said, waving the two men off. "Now take a seat, I have some important news.
"First of all, thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules—" Skellington began, but cut off quickly—from ducking a projectile.
"Cut to the chase before I throw the other shoe," Kineil's sharp voice ordered.
"I can always trust you to be blunt, Miss Wicks," Skellington said with a small smirk. "Fine then, I'll 'cut to the chase': how do you all feel about going home—to the real Delvaire?"
Silence. Dead silence, Yami thought.
And then everyone was talking at once.
"If we could, we would have by now!" one of the shambling men hollered. "What makes you think you suddenly figured it out?"
"Did you miss me?" Skellington asked primly.
"Huh?"
"I'll have you know I spent the last couple of days in Delvaire—and physically, it hasn't changed a bit."
More noise, mostly disbelief.
And then a voice like a thousand rat claws on chalkboard: "And how, pray tell, did you pull that off?"
Yami felt Kels physically shrink at the voice. The noise died, for the most part, as the dead denizens turned to look at Tall Jake, hands folded on his cane as he leaned forward, point of his hat indicating that he was looking at Skellington.
"That—is an interesting story, actually," Skellington began.
"And that—means he doesn't know," someone in a magenta coat and top hat said—he looked like a Gypsian, with all those bits and bobs on his outfit.
The man sitting next to him hopped up and headed for the stage as Skellington glared at the Gypsian.
"This is all wonderful and such," the thin man said—he had white spiky hair—one of Bakura's relatives? "But I'd love to know—did you finally crack? Or do you honestly believe that you went and came back? Better yet—if you did, why did you come back?"
The Bakura-person was on stage now, having a standoff with a still-calm-looking Skellington.
"Why do you think?" Skellington said, gesturing. "I'm not about to leave you all here—"
"Unlike some people," Kineil groused. There was some murmuring assent to that.
"Ah, but here's the rub," the Bakura-person said, leaning forward. "You could have undone it on the other side—coming back here means," he paused and indicated that Skellington lean forward. He did so. "THAT YOU'RE AS STUCK AS THE REST OF US!" the Bakura-person bellowed.
"The fact that that's familiar is disconcerting," Bakura muttered.
"Relative of yours?" Yami whispered.
"Probably Bakura Necromancer."
"Your family has no imagination when naming is involved," Honda hissed.
"Shut up!"
Yami shushed them both—no need to attract attention. Besides, he needed to hear what was going on.
"Not quite," Skellington said when he recovered, smoothing out his suit. "I'll have you know that I have just the thing to get us out of here."
"Really," Bakura Necromancer said flatly. "Enlighten me."
"That might take most of the day," someone in the audience muttered. Bakura Necromancer shot them a glare.
"As you wish," Skellington said, pulling a long scroll out of an inside pocket of his suit shirt. "You're familiar with the Dimensional Tower, correct?"
That dead silence again. Bakura Necromancer looked thunderstruck.
"So we can get back," Vulcan said finally.
"We can get back," Skellington agreed.
"I don't know," Bakura Necromancer said finally. "That scroll could have been tampered with."
"It could have, but considering we have the smartest Magicians of our generation here, I think we can manage."
"And keep in mind," the magenta person said, coming up on stage and leaning against Bakura Necromancer. "That when we get back we'll be accosted by the world's most beautiful women."
"Hmm," Bakura said, scratching his chin with one bony hand. "We'd have to beat them off with a stick."
"Exactly! If that's not motivation, I don't know what is."
"And now you're surrounded by women that you've just insulted," a cat-lady lounging near the front said. "So you're doubly motivated."
"Unfortunately, that is true. I'm sorry, but we needed to see other people."
Several people exchanged excited glances. "So what do we do?" someone asked.
Indeed, everyone was surging forward now, enthralled by what Skellington had just promised them. Back to their own world once again! All these dead denizens, robbed of their lives, murdered before their time—hungering for revenge, Yami realized, innards doing a dull thud against his bones.
"Now calm down everyone," Skellington said, easing his hands down. "First, there's one other matter, but don't worry, I have Skul on it as we speak."
Skull? What kind of a name was—
"Oh please," the woman named Kineil said, having retrieved her shoe and sitting on the edge of the stage to pull it back on. "Maybe back then, but he's spent too much time working on skeleton puns—he couldn't detective his way out of a paper bag."
"I resent that remark!" came from right behind Yami and company. "And I'll have you know I've already found them, so my detective skills are still sharp as ever!"
Yami and the others spun to look as a light swung up to shine on—
A skeleton. A very well-dressed skeleton with a fedora and scarf, but still. Nothing but bones.
"Oh hello," it said.
"Hello," Kels said. "I'm gonna faint now."
And she did.
