A/N: Hi, everyone! How are you all doing? Still working/studying from home? I know I am. I wanna thank you all so much for all the reviews and constructive criticism. I hope you enjoy today's chapter. As you know, any comments, critiques or concerns, feel free to contact me.


Chapter Twenty-Three - Careful What You Wish For

If today I woke up with you right beside me

Like all of this was just some twisted dream

I'd hold you closer than I ever did before

And you'd never slip away*


April 25th, 1984

I don't know why I'm writing. My hands are shaking so much that I can't hardly hold the quill steady. I need to get it off my head or I'll run mad. There's a pile of horror jumbled inside my mind and I feel that I'm drowning in it. There is darkness and pain and fear and I'm so lost that I don't know what to do.

Duncan is dead.

These words make absolutely no sense to me.

How did this happen? We were being so careful! Duncan said he knew what he was doing! I knew he was afraid, but I trusted he'd be all right.

How can he be dead? I can't wrap this concept around my head. He is my best friend. My partner in crime. How can he be dead? We were in this together! This weren't supposed to end up like this!

Rakepick is the only reason I'm still alive, but I can't help feeling she keeps me alive for her own reasons. She said the potion was safe. She calmed Olivia when she was feeling dubious. But now Duncan is gone and Rakepick seems unshaken. She told me we need a third person to break the curse on the buried Vault, but I can barely think straight. My best friend is dead. How can I possibly care about the Vaults right now?

I don't want her friend's help. He's creepy and doesn't seem to care about anyone's safety, but Rakepick said we can trust him. She said it's the only way to stop the Cabal. She said they want to go after Athena...

Duncan is gone…

I can't let them take away my sister as well.

I can't.

I can't.

I need to do something…

Anything…

I chase Talbott through the days. I try to intercept him in between classes, but he seems made out of smoke. Every day I'm buried in a pool of angst and desperation and every night I'm comforted by Rowan's arms when, in the dead of night, I wake up from a nightmare.

They all start the same: with blood.

They all end the same: with Talbott leaving, flying away into a thunderstorm.

I spend the weeks like a zombie, dragging my feet along the stone floor, going from class to class in complete disinterest. I write several letters, but there's no response. Some nights I even fly through the window, spreading my wings into the dark sky, looking for Talbott on the rooftops, but he's never there.

Hurts to say it out loud.

It's over.

I leave the Quidditch command in Link's hands because I can't concentrate enough to practice. Blair stays in my place but seems terribly concerned each time that she sees me. I take the free time to rush to the Owlery and send more and more letters.

One afternoon, after sending what I promise myself to be the last one, I cry. My sobs reverberate along the walls and I feel the pain growing inside of me, deeper than ever, taking control of my being. I release a loud and tearful bawl, punching the stone wall in a mixture of anger and pain. Bruises open on my joints, sending lines of blood along my fingers. They drip into the ground, mixing with the feathers and dirt, making Twilight flash me a concerned gaze before taking flight, taking with him another letter that will be unanswered.

I rest my back against the stone, lifting my head to the ceiling while the tears fall incessantly down my cheeks, so painful that they seem to sting. My heart is aching so much that I barely feel the throbbing on my hand. If I could, I'd punch a hole through my chest, squeezing my heart in my hands until it stopped beating.

Why?

Why does it keep on beating?

"Athena?"

I lower my head. I was crying so loudly that I didn't listen to her footsteps on the stairs. She walks to me, puddles of pansy petals staring at me with an expression that I have never seen before. I have no strength left to speak. When she wraps her arms around me, hugging me as I cry desperately on her shoulder, I feel my heart shattering in a thousand pieces.

"Why?" I moan. "Why doesn't he want me anymore?"

She lands a hand on my hair, awkwardly caressing it as if she has no idea what do to. "You know, I'm an awful comforter and it pisses me off that you aren't an ugly crier, but just so you know… I hate to see your heart break."

"I don't wanna do this anymore," I sob against her cloak. "I just want to live in a world where there's no pain… I don't want to mourn my mother's death or my brother's disappearance or Talbott putting an end on what we have… I just… I just want to forget it ever happened."

Merula doesn't reply. She tightens the grip around me, allowing me to sob uncontrollably, gently caressing my hair in the deepest of silences. Having her so close, once again in profound vulnerability, showing that, regardless of her angry façade, she cares, makes me cry even more. I had never imagined we'd end up bring friends. The same way, I had never imagined she'd hold me while I cried after the end of my relationship with Talbott.

Talbott…

"I just want to forget…"


My friends help me catch up with the studies. I hadn't realized how far back I was until Rowan created a test for me to check where I needed to focus the most. I was even slacking off in Potions and it took me a while to get back on track again and feel prepared for the OWLS. Though I managed to feel accomplished, knowing that I'm doing okay on every subject, the ache of losing Talbott continues to haunt me. Every song sang in the Choir is like funeral march and when I return to the Quidditch practices, flying feels nonsensical. Just the thought of spreading my wings again, as the owl that Talbott helped me become, feels wrong.

When the calendar mentions the one-month mark of our breakup, I realize that the pain is never going away. It hurts like a freshly opened wound and the scars on my knuckles will always be there to remember how much it hurt to lose him.

As April begins, flowery and beautiful, I try to focus all of my energy on studying. Unfortunately, I still have detention, which is an activity that keeps my mind uncomfortably loud. There isn't Jae's presence in the kitchens anymore to keep me company and after all the interrogatories a few months ago, Pitts doesn't allow me to speak to the elves anymore.

The morning is fresh and fragrant as I wake up for another day. Every movement is mechanical. I brush my hair because I have to. I get out of bed and get dressed because I must. If I hadn't obligations waiting for me, it'd be easy to fall into an ocean of nothingness. Honestly? I think it'd be more comfortable if I could.

Rowan is already gone when I leave the dorm. Each day that passes is a day that another student gets trapped inside a portrait. Now even the landscapes ones are filled with people and walking around the castle is loud until it isn't anymore. The curse is getting so strong that the students get quiet after just a few days trapped in the paintings. As usual, Rakepick is doing nothing about it.

Though I have never walked to the kitchens with Talbott beside me, walking there, without him, feels wrong. I feel like I've lost a limb. I'm constantly looking to the side, hoping he'll be there. Each and every time, I experience the feeling of a thousand needles mercilessly piercing my heart.

When I enter the corridor that leads to the kitchens, there are tears in my eyes. I lift my sleeve to wipe them when a tiny shriek makes me frown. Peeking from behind one of the barrels that take to Hufflepuff's common room, is a small rat's snout.

"Scabbers," I say, sniffing. "There you are. Percy has been looking for you like crazy. Have you been hiding near the kitchen all this time?"

The rat shrieks again, risking a few steps towards me. I grab my wand, wondering if I could petrify him and take him safely back to Percy, because I doubt he'd accept spending detention calmly inside of my pocket, but what happens next makes my heart race.

Scabbers gets bigger, as if he's growing to the size of a person. I stare at my wand in disbelief because I know I didn't move it, when it's suddenly thrown away from my hand, falling heavily on the floor behind me.

"Not this time, girl," a shrieky voice says and I look ahead to find a grown man on the place where Scabbers once was. He is short and fat and his buck teeth project from the evil grin on his bearded face. "I won't let you take me back before I complete my mission."

A scream dies inside my throat. I thrust myself back, almost tripping on my shoes, retrieving my wand and running as fast as I can from there. My heart is in such a race that it hurts, releasing all the air from my lungs as I look for some air, stopping only when I'm far enough, with my back rested on a pillar, and there aren't any steps following me.

What the hell is going on? Is Percy's rat a man? Or is he just a man pretending to be a rat that looks a lot like Scabbers? Damn, I don't know what to think…

I risk taking a few steps forward. The corridor is completely empty, with barely any light from the dawn.

I shouldn't have run aimlessly. From my surroundings, I'm probably on the West Wing, far away from Ravenclaw Tower. Should I lock myself inside a classroom and wait for a professor to show up?

I take another step to the right, wondering if I could hide in the library, when, upon moving my leg again, I fall heavily onto the floor. Tight ropes wrap around my limbs, slithering around my like snakes. I feel one of them moving behind my head and then slipping over my lips, muzzling me so tightly that I start to feel the corners of my lips aching.

Fuck.

From the corridor I just came from, the same man enters the wing, aiming his wand at me. I breath loudly, desperately trying to release myself from the ropes, but just like the Devil's Snare, the Incarcerous Spell tightens the ties with every movement.

"Thought I'd let you escape, now that you know my secret?" he asks, his voice a little husky. "I cannot let anyone prevent me from achieving my goal. Not when I'm so close to finding that forsaken portrait… All I need to do is find that damn poltergeist…"

I frown, feeling sweat drops forming on my temples. I don't know who that man is not alone what he wants, but from the strange look on his face, my doom probably won't be graceful.

"You look so much like your brother," he continues. "He used to run away from his problems as well and you know how it ended. You won't be as useful to her as I used to be. The least I can do now is to protect my secret…"

He walks towards me, kneeling next to me and touching the tip of his wand to my forehead. "Pity… Jacob also had a lot of potential. If only he knew where to focus his efforts… Instead, all he wanted was to rebel against the darkness. Well, well… Pity. Goodbye, Jacob's sister. Obliviate."


"Can someone explain to me why does this keep happening? If I have my daughter back in this hospital one more time, I'm seriously suing his entire school!"

My eyes open lightly. The light and airy ceiling of the hospital wing greet me again, but, this time, I don't feel weak. I look around, trying to make sense of the voices, softly sitting on the bed.

By the door, Dumbledore, Rakepick, Professor Snape, Madam Pomfrey and my father are having a fiery discussion. By my bed, all my friends are eyeing me with concern.

"Guys?" I say, confused. "What's going on?"

Rowan wraps her arms around me. "Thank goodness, Athie! I thought you had forgotten about us!"

"Row, what are you talking about?" I ask.

She moves away a little. "Rakepick found you tied and unconscious in the West Wing. Someone used the Memory Charm on you, Merlin knows why!"

I frown. "But… But I don't feel different."

She sighs happily. "Thank you, Merlin! It was probably a badly executed spell. I was so afraid you'd wake up as an empty vessel!"

"What was she even doing alone in the first hours of the morning?" my father continues in a loud and angry tone.

"She is having some time in detention," Dumbledore explains, softly.

"Detention?" my father exclaims. "While there is another curse ravaging the place? Why on earth are you allowing this, Dumbledore? She's just a child!"

"Miss Lockhart must know that her actions, however noble, have consequences," he says.

"You are delusional! Since when she has been wandering around the castle?"

Dumbledore runs his long fingers along his beard. "Since the beginning of the school year."

I watch my father's face get red. "Since September? She's been walking alone to detention for seven months? Are you insane? Isn't it punishment enough? She had her mind erased, for God's sake! What if she doesn't remember who she is?"

"It's okay, Dad," I say. "I remember."

My father takes his hands to his head, rushing to where I am. "Thank God! Oh, darling, how are you feeling?"

"Fine, honestly," I say. "I just don't know what happened."

He lands a hand over mine. "What do you remember?"

I stare at the sheets over my legs. "Just that I was walking to detention. Rowan said someone erased my mind, but I don't remember seeing a living soul on my way to the kitchens."

My father's left eye twitch a little. "And on top of all, she's paying detention in the kitchens?" he shouts, turning his face to Dumbledore. "In the underground? Are you out of your mind?"

I hold his hand. "It's okay, Dad. I'm fine."

He wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. The sound of his beating heart is oddly calming. "I'm glad you're okay, darling. You are released from detention, okay? No more wandering around this place by yourself."

"But Dumbledore said-"

"I don't care what he says. I won't have you unconscious on this hospital bed again, do you understand? I don't want to lose you too. God knows what could've happened to you! What kind of animal binds a defenceless child?"

I nod as he caresses my hair. "I'm okay," I whisper.

It takes a while for him to release me, but when he does, he walks straight to Dumbledore with a furious expression on his face. "Let's continue this conversation in your office, Headmaster. I would love to hear your explanation about these happenings."

Dumbledore displays no emotion. Instead, he just walks out of the hospital wing, followed by my father. By the door, Rakepick and Professor Snape exchange murderous stares before she decides to leave as well, with him on her heels.

"Oh, Athie," Rowan says. "These things can't keep happening to you. We must keep vigilant. We won't let you walk around by yourself anymore."

"Yes, Athena," Penny adds. "We'll be by your side all the time. Even Ismelda volunteered to look after you."

I chuckle. "Really?"

She nods, her face getting like sad afterwards. "Even Talbott agreed to be by your side."

I frown. "Who?"

Tulip laughs. "That's the spirit!"

"I… I don't understand," I say, puzzled.

Rowan runs her fingertips along my hair. "He said your safety is more important than what happened between you two. Though he'd prefer to keep some distance, he's willing to overlook his own rules."

"Row…" I start, my head suddenly throbbing as I try to understand what she's telling me. "Who's Talbott?"

"Athena, there's no need to be this immature," Tonks says, gesticulating. "Yeah, he's your ex-boyfriend, but in these times we need to-"

"Oh, no," Rowan says, suddenly, resting her hand on my cheek. "Athie, do you know who Talbott Winger is? Do you who what he means to you? Do you have any memories of him?"

I shake my head, confused.

She sighs sadly. "I think the Memory Charm wasn't that ineffective after all."


My friends give up on trying to make me remember things as soon as they start trying. Every attempt brings an unbearable migraine that even causes me horrible episodes of vertigo. In the end, Rowan resigns into hiding a scrapbook that I have never seen before and is apparently filled with a bunch of memories that I have forgotten. One afternoon, she indicates the boy named Talbott, who is absentmindedly strolling about the gardens, but it rings no bell. From the distance, he looks at me, – a gaze that seems full of sadness – but his face just makes me even more disoriented.

"Let's focus on something else for a while," Rowan decides. "If we keep forcing these memories back, we might mess you up."

"You're right," Penny adds. "Let's focus on, for example, why does Rakepick always seems to be around when Athena is in trouble?"

"Because she's the reason behind the attacks," Ben concludes. "But she isn't trying to kill Athena. That would be too easy and unhelpful. She wants Athena believing that she's the only one that can be trusted and that we're all conspiring to murder her."

"I wonder how much time it will take for her to find the damn Vault in that damn map," Rowan says. "She's had it for months… What is she looking for? Her brain?"

"Her heart," Liz says. "I have never met such heartless person in my life. Every lesson of hers is like the death of happiness. She thrives on pain and suffering… I hate what she does to the poor creatures she brings to class."

Mid-April, while Professor Flitwick is teaching us about the Silencing Charm and Professor Binns is explaining the Witch Hunts, Rakepick decides that it's a great idea to bring a recently killed Tebo – that is essentially a magical boar – and asks us to collect every part that can be important in potions, medications and alchemy processes. As soon as she places the dead animal over her table, Liz reaches for the trashcan and vomits.

"Apparently, not everyone has the guts for it," Rakepick says. "Regardless, I want everyone to help in the process until there's nothing left. Let's make sure this creature didn't die in vain."

Rowan casts Impervius on our clothes to make sure they don't get covered in Tebo's guts, but the process of touching the still warm creature gives me the creeps. Rowan and I resign into collecting pieces of his tusks, trying to pretend it's made of plastic and that we aren't literally dissecting a magical creature. Liz stands in between us, holding the jar where we're placing the bits of tusk, with such fury in her eyes that I think she's about to stick her wand into Rakepick's eyes.

After class, Liz rushes out the room in heavy steps, yelling something at Barnaby as they leave. Rowan releases a long and exasperated sigh, shoving her unused book inside her bag.

"Miss Lockhart," Rakepick says. "There's something I'd like to discuss. It took me a while to bring this up, because I was waiting for you to recover. Pity you lost part of memory, but let's get down to business. A little before I found you, I heard someone's voice echoing along the wing. He was mentioning a connection between the portrait we're looking for and Peeves."

I cross my arms. "And you waited for this person to finish a speech and erase my mind before showing up to rescue me?"

She lifts her brows, crinkling her lips in a pestered expression. "Unfortunately, I didn't get there on time. However, this sounds like important information and I'd like for you, Bill and Merula to investigate this matter."

Inside my pockets, I close my hands into fists, controlling the urge to kick her in the shin. She just flashes me an irritating smirk and I notice that her nose, that Madam Pomfrey rejected curing, ended up healing a little crookedly. I refrain from smiling and simply nod, accepting whatever ridiculous mission she has for me. From all the danger we've seen, dealing with Peeves is the least of our worries.

"Fine," I say, finally.

We see Liz again only after lunch, during Potions. While we're preparing the Deflating Draught, she mumbles about creature abuse and what an unethical person Rakepick is. She finalizes by saying that she'd love to sue Rakepick and see her behind bars for eternity.

"That woman is evil!" she says, tossing some crushed quartz inside her cauldron. "If I had a galleon for every creature she has hurt, I'd be a millionaire by now."

Mixing her potion, Rowan leans closer to me. "What are we going to do about Peeves? The last time we needed his help, we ended up with pumpkin heads."

I measure three grams of Doxy liver powder and add it to my mixture. "I'll have to explain the urgency of the situation. Hopefully, he'll understand."

"He will, in reality, throw a Dungbomb at your face," she says. "Peeves will be anything but cooperative."

I sigh. "I know, but I need to try. In June we'll have our OWLS and there won't be much time to look for the Vaults."

"Okay, but I'll go with you," she says. "I'll never leave you alone again."

At the end of the day, instead of focusing our efforts into studying, we ask for Tulip and Tonks' help who, this time, doesn't ask us to wear pumpkin heads or engage in pyrotechnic activities.

"I'm too busy preparing for the OWLS to care," Tonks says. "Mum sent me this nasty letter, telling me to ace my exams or she'll lock me in the basement with the entire magical encyclopaedia by Fontayne Drach and only release me when I learn it all by route. And they're thirty volumes!"

"Tonks is highly motivated by the lack of freedom," Tulip says.

"I am!" Tonks agrees. "Well, I've heard Filch complaining about a commotion inside Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, so I say we start there."

They accompany us from the Quidditch pitch to the second floor. Rowan watched the entire practice to make sure I was safe, getting her eyes out of the books every three seconds to be sure that I was still there and still alive. I'm still getting used to walking around with my wand in hand at every moment, but after what has been happening, we can't afford to be careless.

There's water puddling on the ground when we get to the bathroom's corridor. By the door, Mr. Filch is shouting and cursing while mopping the ground, complaining about the wet rugs and all the mould and moss that will start growing. Sitting on a bench, Mrs. Norris watches the scene with disgust on her snout, which is comprehensible, given that the puddles of water are likely prevenient from the toilets.

"That filthy poltergeist!" he complains, irritated. "I keep telling Dumbledore to dispatch him somewhere else, but are my complaints heard? No, of course not!"

While he turns to twist the wet mop, Rowan casts the useful Impervius on our shoes and we sneak into the bathroom, immediately hearing a loud and cheerful laughter as we enter.

Inside, there's a fountain escaping one of the faucets who has been mercilessly plucked from the sink and tossed somewhere on the pool of water on the floor. Several toilets are leaking or pouring water with intense strength, making it almost impossible to walk without slipping.

"I swear to Merlin's powers, if I trip and fall into this grey water, I'm going to kill someone," Rowan says.

Perched on the windowsill, Myrtle cries hysterically while a chuffed Peeves flies in circles around the bathroom, tossing little balls inside the drains and toilets, causing them to burst and throw even more water around, even reaching the ceiling and making water drops fall on us.

"Ugh! Gross!" Rowan gasps.

"Not gross!" Peeves replies. "Fun!"

"Yes, Peeves, this is very fun!" I say. "Can you come over here? I'd like to ask you something."

"Why should I?" he says, turning upside down.

"Because there's a new shipment of Erumpent Turd Dungbomb arriving in a few days and Athena can get you some," Tonks says.

I rub my temples. "Yeah, Athena can get you some."

"Sounds interesting," he says. "Useful to use on old Filchy! And what do you want in return?"

"Peeves, we're looking for a painting," I say. "But not just any painting. A hidden one. One that can be taken somewhere else. Probably magical. Have you ever seen it?"

He smiles. "Of course."

I sigh in relief. "Can you give it to me?"

He spins in the air for a while, looking pensive. "Yeah, yeah, Peeves definitely has a magical painting along with a lot of other magical items. What do I get in return?"

I frown. "Well… a bunch of that Dungbomb that Tonks mentioned."

"No, no, no," he says, "That's too little."

"What do you want, then?"

He opens a wide smile. "Such important artifact costs a lot."

"What's a lot for you?"

"A lot of chaos, of course," he laughs. "Wreak some havoc and I'll give you the painting. I want a prank masterpiece! Something never seen before!"

"Like what?" I ask.

"Be creative," he says, winking at me and disappearing right after in a loud snap.

I turn to Tulip and Tonks. "Okay. Wreak some havoc and it has to impress Peeves."

They release diverted giggles. "Don't worry, Athena. Perhaps it's time for us to enlarge our prank repertoire."

"What do you mean by enlarge?" Rowan asks.

Tulip opens a mischievous grin. "You'll see."

"Good," she says. "Now let's get the hell out of this dirty bathroom. Reparo Totalum! Arfacio!"

With a gentle wave of her wand, Rowan gets the entire bathroom fixed and the floor to get instantly dry. Outside, Mr. Filch releases a surprised gasp.

"Let's go, girls," Tonks says, hopping towards the exit. "Time to unleash the chaos in this castle."


* Amnesia, by 5 Seconds of Summer