[a/n0]alix33 makes a point '1 of Hagrid's faves feasting on another' poor guy.

[a/n-1]As for the Tournament, it's great writing, but little different than Rome's gladiatorial games. A wonder more spectators aren't killed, especially involving dragons. Ever watch anything as supposedly tame as car-racing? What's to stop an out-of-control car from flying into the stands?

[a/n-2]Don't see a single review objecting to judge-roasting! :)

[a/n]Playing with the harem thing

Harry Does Different CCCLVIII

Harem Scarem

6-year-old Harry Potter was unlike most boys and girls his age. See, up until about a month ago; if asked, he would more likely have replied to What is your name? as Boy or Freak. Things began to change almost immediately during his first day at Little Whining Elementary. He was almost relieved when Dudley, Piers and Dennis didn't pick on him during the first recess. He was wandering about the yard, alone, when his eyes landed on the why. First observation, the errant Priveters had found themselves a couple more coconspirators. Observation two, the enlarged gang had a new target.

"Haha you take her!" one bully shoved the small girl at another.

Another pulled the book from her hands and sent it flying. He caught the girl and shoved her at a third, who tripped her which landed the victim face down on the hard cement.

"LET'ER ALONE!" roared Harry. Or rather, it would've been a roar had his voice been deeper, but it did carry well. A second later, the smaller boy collided with his turning cousin. The impact was bone-crunching. The small boy's speed and wiry strength served him well for a minute or so, but five to one odds were too much to expect of anyone. He was reduced to trying to cover the girl and take the hits himself.

Help came in a surprising form, that of a 9-year-old girl. She wasn't especially large for her age, if a bit chunky, but she barreled in and took out three of the boys from behind, then shoved the other two away. Shaking with anger she shouted "KNOCK THIS SHITE OFF!"

"Helen Stewart!" a teacher came on the scene just as the kids were getting ready to go again "Explain yourself! What are you doing beating on little ones?"

Harry jumped to his defender's defense "It's them started it! Beating up this little girl!" Given his starvation diet, to call someone small really meant something.

"My parents are real important!" Dudley yanked his arm from the older, taller, girl's grip. He rubbed it, whining "Owww!"

The girl slapped the allegedly injured arm yelled "Not near as important as mine! Mummy's gonna be in Parliament!"

"Considering I saw you" he ruled, pointing to Harry "getting hit most…at first…so I think we'll start with you."

Righting his glasses on his face, he nodded "Yes sir. I saw THEM picking on her." His hair was mussed, his shirt ripped.

"Mr. Phelps, he's lying!" exclaimed Dudley "Mum and Dad said that's all the little freak does!"

The teacher eyed the even smaller girl "What have you to say, Miss …"

"Afshan Azad" she replied "sir." Pointing at Harry she continued "He jumped on that one when they were pushing me around."

Dennis sneered at her "Bloody dothead, all she is."

"That word is NOT acceptable!" Phelps' voice was tightly controlled "And were this a few decades ago…well, count yourself lucky I cannot dish out a little corporal punishment. All of us are going to pay Principal Finnes a visit. Get moving!"

Abcij

The Principal of Surrey Elementary was a balding, gaunt man in his 50s. And he had vastly less patience for things like this than his teacher. The speech was short and more than a little frightening for the children, concluding "…all eight of you will be suspended for three days."

"Yippee!" cheered Dudley, then he withered under the glare.

"Mr. Dursley do not think this a sudden unscheduled vacation." He almost growled "That time will be spent, besides whatever punishment your parents may decide, writing a 500-word essay detailing exactly your actions and why they were wrong. You will be responsible for all homework assigned for that time. I will review each, personally, for truthfulness. If I deem any false, there will be further punishments. Now get out of my office."

The scene back in #4 was ugly, in the extreme, but it was the beginning of big changes for Harry Potter. Mainly centered around the fact he had earned himself a pair of friends. First Helen, the older girl, then Evanna the small girl to whose rescue he'd rushed to. And Dudley's enlarged gang didn't seem to learn their lesson, they mostly focused on girls. Before Christmas, Harry gathered half-a-dozen more…all female…friends.

By the time Harry's eleventh birthday was approaching, his group topped out at a full dozen. He was their boyfriend, they were his girlfriends. The now 14-year-old Helen introduced him, rather early, to the joys of kissing. That she'd moved onto Surrey Secondary meant nothing.

The second change, occurring over time, was that life with the Dursleys improved to something rather like Europe just before WW1. Great alliances, both armed to the teeth, hating each other and no one willing to pull the trigger. It took a while to learn. Dudley's gang would beat Harry or one of his girls, then suffer a retaliation. The girls couldn't prevent Harry's aunt and uncle from beating him, but his cousin would take ten hits for every one Vernon or Petunia swung. Dudley's lunch would get ruined if Harry wasn't fed.

Abcij

"Harry! You won't believe what happened!" Vivian Columbus burst out of her house and pounced on him.

Her father put his briefcase in his car and scolded "Vi! How many times have I told you about being shameless with boys! And remember what Professor McGonagall told you!"

"Harry's not just a boy! He's my boyfriend!" she shot back unabashedly, then grinned "You- -"

He gave her a completely chaste kiss on the cheek in deference to the presence of her father "Did you have a good birthday with your grandparents?"

"The best. Except you lot weren't there. Sophie. Al." the blonde girl hugged the freckle-faced redhead and the black girl.

Mr. Columbus frowned in disapproval. Yes, the boy prevented possible serious injury to his little girl, but earned the father's disfavor by clearly collecting a harem. What could he do though?

"Now that we're all here!" Vi called out, she pretended to not notice the look from her mother "We got something serious to talk about. After everyone left by grandparents' last night someone showed up from a special school in Scotland. She wanted me to go there starting in September."

A dirty-blonde girl protested "But you can't Vi! Who's gonna get me through Maths?"

"Aww…poor Evanna!" the whole group exclaimed. Harry gave a sympathetic hug…then rubbed his knuckles on her head a few times.

The young hostess took back control "There's more! This teacher, McGonagall was her name, her school is named Hogwarts School of WITCHcraft and WIZARDry…Yes, real ones. She proved it. She could make herself a cat. She even dropped a teacup on the floor, then put it back together from the broken pieces. That is, after summoning it across the room."

"If you're going to this school, you must be one." The oldest of the girls, Helen, had worked it out first "So? Will you be able to turn into a cat?"

Vivian shrugged "Maybe. The professor said that's a real hard thing to learn. She said I could only tell my family and it has to be kept secret. But I couldn't NOT tell all of you. Only bad thing is I'll be breaking up the gang." She ended with a pout.

There wasn't enough of the recently 11-year-old for all of them to hug at once.

"She's going to take me, tomorrow, to something called diagonally. Shopping for all the witch stuff I'll need. Like a wand, clothes- -"

Harry interrupted a bit enthusiastic "Don't forget a broom! Witches can FLY!"

"This McGonagall you keep mentioning" the especially studious blonde-haired Kyla, who currently had the Letter, observed "she's Deputy Headmistress. Says so right here."

Helen was deeply into shopping "Good thing tomorrow's Saturday. We can all go with you."

"Absolutely not! I simply, forbid it!" declared Mrs. Columbus in no uncertain terms "This whole thing is supposed to be kept secret. Bad enough Vivian is even discussing it! All of you will stay away tomorrow. You can spend the day at one of your houses or at the park. Am I clear?"

All thirteen of them muttered as one "Yes ma'am."

Abcij

There had been a fairly heavy snow that night, in fact it was still snowing late that afternoon. Harry and the Dursleys were involved in removal. The bespectacled boy deliberately paced his contribution to match what Vernon or Dudley were doing, no more no less. A great deal had changed in the time since Harry started school. But his activity stopped when he saw, just turning the corner from Wisteria "Vivian!"

"Hiya Harry!" she ran up and embraced him in a way the Dursleys did not approve of. She looked over his shoulder and false-smiled "Mr Mrs Dursley, Dud."

Harry stuck his shovel in a snow-mound and spoke to his witch-girlfriend quietly "I thought you had to go you-know-where?"

"I did. It's called Diagon Alley and it is INcredible!" Vivian was a bit louder but hugely enthusiastic "But you'll never guess what I found out while I was there. Go on, try? Go on."

Having got to know a dozen girls for half his life, the snow-crusted preteen took in her expression, considered a moment and gave the most absurd answer he could think of "I know! I'm a witch too."

"What!" her boyfriend had ruined her surprise. She bent down, scooped up two handfuls of white stuff and shoved it into his chest. Then found herself hip-tossed into a mound. The pair wrestled about, laughing the whole time. When they were both panting heavily she demanded "How'd you… know?"

He looked quizzical "You were serious?"

"You're famous. All I had to do was mention your name and I got mobbed." Vivian answered "You killed a bad guy called Voldemort, so they say. When you were about a year old. You'll be glad to know your parents weren't layabouts, they were some kind of bobbies."

To this Harry brightened "You mean Petunia and Vernon lied to me? Let me give you my big surprise face." He gestured and gave an exaggerated look.

"We never believed it anyway. You're too nice." She assured him with a chuckle and went on "You'll do well there. About every girl who can walk ALREADY loves you thanks to the books."

His face flashed with pleasure at meeting MORE girls, then switched to horror at the notion of people writing about him. He all but begged "Tell me you're kidding."

"There's a whole series." Vivian was almost gleeful "Wait til I tell the others. Harry Potter and the Dragon, Harry Potter Saves the - -"

Harry passed out. But he recovered readily enough. And more importantly, once more of his harem were clued into the whole situation, they developed a plan. It would be several months before their boyfriend would get his letter and while none of the others were witches, that they knew of, neither were they stupid. Harry didn't like airheads. They would all simply devour the books Vivian had and when THAT was done, they would get more.

Abcij

"Morning Dursleys! Anyone know what today is!" exclaimed Harry in a cheery tone as he held up an envelope. It had an elaborate coat-of-arms. He answered his own question "No. don't worry. You didn't forget my birthday. That's tomorrow. No point keeping it from me as you know I already know all about Hogwarts. Even if you burned a thousand of them in the fireplace, uncle, it wouldn't do any good. I already know what it says, word for word."

Vernon snatched the envelope from the boy's hands and ripped it in half "There! None of that freakishness in my house!"

"As you say." Harry simply shrugged at the big man. Then proceeded to prove his point ending "…Signed Minerva McGonagall Deputy Headmistress. I imagine she'll appear shortly and you can explain to her."

Vernon manhandled him into the car shouting "PETUNIA DUDLEY WE'RE GOING ON VACATION!"

Abcij

As midnight July 30 approached a not-at-all depressed boy wizard idly drew in the dirt HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY Just as he finished the 11th candle on top of the cake the heavy wood door was shoved off its hinges and toppled. He rolled over greeting "Hi Professor McGonagall."

"Ello 'Arry! Ain't seen ya since you were a baby!" exclaimed a massive bearded man.

After a moment's confusion the boy replied "You must be Hagrid. I thought it would be a professor like who signed my letter."

"How is it ya know me name?" asked the giant.

Harry quipped "Trade secret. Oh, meet the people I slaved for the last decade." He flicked a look over his shoulder.

"Good job filling him in, Dursley." Said Hagrid.

Vernon swung his rifle into line "You are trespassing, sir! I demand you leave AT ONCE!"

"Dry up Dursley ya great prune." Hagrid bent the weapon like it was a noodle. A shot blasted a hole in the ceiling raining debris on them.

Harry failed to repress a laugh, and again showed off his knowledge "Guess you're here to take me to Diagon Alley, the wizard bank, Ollivander's."

"They didn't tell ya hoo did?" asked Hagrid while stroking his shaggy beard.

Again, Harry deflected "Magic. Lead the way?"

Abcij

"Every Year Packed With Muggles!" a loud voice echoed between platforms 9 & 10 "Fred, George, you first! And who might you be young man?"

Harry, and his many girlfriends had not a whit of difficulty interpreting the woman's disapproving expression. He leaned in for a kiss from Eleanor while cuddling Maggie and Zoe. The oldest girl wrapped her arms around from behind and nuzzled his neck, Helen was the only one tall enough to speak as a near equal "We're saying goodbye to two of the family. Bit rude to interrupt. Harry! This is right up your alley, demonstrate the proper greeting."

"Ohhhh…I see" his eyes landed on the only girl of the group of redheads. He approached, rather closely, and charmingly offered a hand "So delighted to meet a vision of loveliness. May I inquire as to your name?"

The girl blushed and took the offered hand and replied robotically "G-g-inny Weasley."

"My dear, an honor to meet you." He gently brought her hand up and kissed her knuckles "If I may introduce myself, Harry…incoming Head of the Noble and Moste Ancient House of Potter. Oh!" The young wizard had no choice but to embrace the girl because otherwise she would have hit the floor.

Abcij

Harry and Vivian were both a little depressed at leaving all the other girls behind, but at least they had each other. He was browsing the middle of the First Year Potions text, she the review questions at the back of the Defense text. He noticed a thatch of red hair and called out "Hey! A Weasley right?"

"Everywhere else is full" grumbled the boy "can I come in? … Yeah, Ron Weasley. We were all almost late after you put the hex on Ginny."

The pair just chuckled, she offered "Yeah our boyfriend does have a way with the ladies."

"I'd say I was sorry, but I'm not clear what I did." He didn't sound apologetic.

Ron shrugged "Gel couldn't believe she met The-Boy-Who-Lived. I mean, bloody, you got books written about you."

"Don't tell him that." Vivian fake whispered "He'd likely collect another harem." She squealed when she got jabbed in the ribs.

The redhead shook his head and changed subjects commenting on the rodent in his lap "This is Scabbers, pathetic in't he?"

"Just a little bit." The pair replied simultaneously.

This reminder of his twin brothers alarmed Ron more "Fred and George gave me a spell to turn him yellow. Wanna see?"

"Sure." Harry was eager, but Vivian looked skeptical.

Before Ron could do more than pull his wand the compartment door opened to reveal a girl "Has anyone seen a toad? A boy named Neville lost it. Oh? Are you doing magic? Let's see then."

"Ahem! Sunshine daisies butter mellow. Turn this stupid fat rat yellow." Ron spoke confidently and clearly, but all he got for his efforts was a brief spark from his wand.

The bushy visitor looked somewhere between annoyed and amused "Are you sure that's a real spell? If it is it's not very good."

"I'd think your brothers were having you on Ron." Said Vivian kindly "But how about we not tell anyone about it?"

Looking at the raven-haired boy, the other girl exclaimed "Holy cricket! You're Harry Potter! I'm Hermione Granger!"

"Well that's two for the harem." Vivian quipped

Hermione looked baffled, but Harry winked at his longtime girlfriend and stood. He took her shoulders and pressed a long kiss on her cheek. He looked in her eyes and said "I am deeply pleased to meet you, Hermione. I hope we can be friends."

"What he means is girlfriend." The still seated girl clarified without the slightest hint of jealousy.

A blond boy with two goons backing him up strode in "I hear Harry Potter is on this train."

"I heard that too." Said Vivian, flashing a look at Harry who kept silent. "Who wants to know?"

Looking deeply offended the latest visitor sneered "You must be a Mudblood to not know me. Well? Where is he?"

"Sorry" said Harry "nothing but us Mudbloods here."

The trio stalked off angrily.

Looking askance Hermione wanted to know "What's a Mudblood?"

"Some pureblood families are like that." Explained Ron "It's a mean word for someone coming from all Muggle parents. Not something a decent person would say. Bet he goes to Slytherin." Much of the rest of the trainride was taken up with his limited understanding of Wizard society.

Even if uneasy with this oddly magnetic boy, Hermione felt more accepted than anywhere else.

Abcij

"Now when I call your name" the severe woman the First Years knew to be Deputy Headmistress instructed "you will come up and I will put the Sorting hat on your head."

Ron looked more than annoyed "Fred and George told me we had to wrestle a troll!"

**Abbott Hannah…HUFFLEPUFF* Bones Susan…HUFFLEPUFF** and so it went… **Columbus Vivian…RAVENCLAW** Granger Hermione…GRYFFINDOR** Malfoy Draco…SLYTHERIN** Then it got to Potter Harry

As soon as the Hat landed on his head Harry heard a voice no one else could "Hmm…not a bad mind…and a thirst for knowledge AND to prove yourself. But where to put you?"

"Not Slytherin! Not Slytherin!" Harry chanted internally.

The Hat expressed surprise "NO? Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness. No doubt about that. No? Well if you're sure…better be…HUFFLEPUFF!"

Harry shot a look at the girl from the train with only a minor regret, though he deliberately walked around the Ravenclaw table to where Vivian was sitting and gave her a hug NOT like just friends would share. He ignored the looks and went to a seat with his new House. Greeted the nearest with a friendly "Hello."

"Got a girlfriend Potter?" a slightly older boy teased.

Harry just smiled and deadpanned "Twelve actually. With two maybes. A girl who just sorted into Gryffindor and one doesn't start til next year?"

"You're full of hippogriff shit." A very handsome, even older boy scoffed.

The young wizard ignored the comment and proceeded to introduce himself "In case no one knows, I'm Harry Potter. And a pleasure to meet you pretty girls…Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones." They were the nearest girls. His smile was captivating.

"Lucky guess." Said the same boy who'd derided him before.

To this Harry replied "I know the name of every girl who was just Sorted. Hannah and Susan…" then he went on pointing to each "Jessica Tring, Megan Jones, Leanne Radcliffe, Nymphadora Williams, Sidney Puckeridge and Linda Chaddesley. Would you like me to name the other Houses?"

"And if you're such a playboy" another older boy complained "how do you end up in the House of loyalty and hard work."

Harry responded to a furtive wave from Hermione with one of his own and answered "I met the blond git Malfoy on the train. He called my friends Mudbloods. Saw him get sorted into Slytherin. Something I learned about…I have a question… all these books about me, can they do that without my permission?"

"Really!" exclaimed Susan "You know, my Auntie is Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. You could start there."

He gave her such a smile "I think you're just who I need to talk to. Hope we could spend some time together.

The redhead just blushed. That was when the food appeared and conversation stopped.