AN: Note that I do not own Naruto, Naruto Shippuden, or any of the characters from either Anime. This work is a fanfiction written out of my love for the series and not in any attempt to make a profit.
Proofread by: Author
And so, the story continues. I hope that the story slowing down to a more sedate pace now doesn't grind people's gears, but this is kind of what I need to do. There's a lot of time that would be wasted otherwise, and so I try and do what feels Natural. With two minds rather than one, Sakura and Heikō have become rather proactive, using their time to the fullest. I need to make this clear, as well as let these moments pad out the story, as they help develop the characters and the direction of the story itself. You'll understand what I mean once you read this chapter (I hope).
So, without further ado, enjoy another one of my completely, previously unplanned chapters.
Chapter 111: Trust and paper
Leaving Ino to her thoughts, Sakura decided to resume her walk back home. It had been a short, but highly appreciated discussion with Ino, as it let Sakura and Heikō take a break from the rather depressing train of thought spawned from the T&I training session they had had.
"We really need to find the time to learn more about Genjutsu," Heikō concluded, and Sakura sighed but nodded to herself in agreement.
"We do, and we've already added it to the list, amongst other things. Our current objectives are improving our chakra control further, learning to convert Natural energy into chakra, and either master Tsunade's strengthening technique, or develop our own to a decent level. After that comes Genjutsu and Shadow clones, if we can get Kakashi to determine we're ready and teach us." Sakura listed off with a frown.
"Why do we need Kakashi for that? If you ask me, he'll likely try and delay us as much as he can, just so he doesn't have to teach or supervise us. We could ask Tsunade if we're ready, and then ask Naruto to teach us. I'm sure he'd be thrilled." Heikō pointed out, and Sakura agreed that it was likely the case. Although, going behind Kakashi's back wasn't really something she'd prefer doing, even if he did annoy them with his lax attitude towards training them.
"You're right. I'll ask Tsuande the next time we see her, and then we'll ask Naruto if she gives us the go-ahead." Sakura decided.
"Great, then let's go to the library. I want to at least borrow a book or something about Genjutsu so we have something to do while training our chakra control. There's a lot of time wasted there." Heikō pointed out, and Sakura admitted that busying themselves with reading something useful while sitting still was a good idea.
"You're always the one with all of the ideas. I'm beginning to think you're smarter than me." Sakura observed, only to feel Heikō give off feelings of denial and upset.
"That's not true Sakura. You're in control of our body at this moment, so part of your consciousness is immersed in controlling it. It might not be much, but it makes a difference. Our train of thoughts are still similar, but without having to put as much focus on our body, or our sensing abilities, I'm able to focus more on our minds. That's why I'm able to provide you ideas before you manage to think of them yourself, or why we're drifting so much from the Sakura we used to be. The same is true whenever I'm in charge of the body and you take over our mind. Although at this point, you're more in control than I am, this is even reflected in the balance of our energies. I produce more Mental energy than you do, while you produce more Physical energy." Heikō explained, drawing Sakura's attention to observe the balance in their energies, confirming it to be true.
"Huh, yet we have the same chakra signature… You know this, but I only find it out right now? I thought we had similar trains of thought. When did you figure all of this out?" Sakura questioned.
"It's something I've noticed happens when we're both doing our thing. If I retreat from observing the world through our senses, you'll be doing your thing, and I'll be doing mine. I might not react to some things, and our trains of thought diverge due to the things we do differently. It's not that big of a surprise. You were the first to actually worry about this, so I took the time to consider it while you slept." Heikō revealed, and Sakura felt it was a little odd how much they shared, yet how much they could still keep from each other when they weren't actively looking. Something they didn't as it was rude to go looking for each other's secrets. And of course, Sakura was fully aware that they both kept secrets from each other. She even knew where to find them if she were to go looking, having found them by accident when helping Heikō repair her part of the mindscape, but she had left those secrets alone, like how trust and respect were important to her, they were just as likely important to Heikō.
"Perhaps we need to see a Psychologist about us after all." Sakura mused, surprising Heikō.
"Okay, where did that come from?" Heikō wondered, although, Sakura could feel her politely refraining from peeking into her thoughts, hovering just around them. In turn, this surprised Sakura as she realized she now understood how that felt. She was also a little disappointed in herself as she realized she felt relieved to know this, as it proved that her trust in Heikō wasn't absolute. Although, it was natural after how Heikō had forcefully manipulated them without consulting Sakura first. Even if Sakura understood Heikō's decision, it still hurt that Heikō hadn't trusted her enough to confide in her. And that was the issue, wasn't it?
"We don't trust each other. Sure, we're Shinobi, and we've been taught to look underneath the underneath, but we both have access to each other's minds, and I've realized, as ashamed as it makes me feel, I don't trust you as much as I wish I could Heikō, and you don't trust me as much as I wish you did. If this continues, we might end up hurting each other even worse than we already have. We need to fix this." Sakura pointed out, sensing shock, shame, and regret from Heikō before finally sensing acceptance.
"You're right. I feel stupid not for realizing. Just because our minds are in balance, and we're not mentally disturbed, doesn't mean we don't have issues. We're still human, huh? Right, I guess we should be spilling secrets then?" Heikō suggested, but Sakura shook her head.
"No. I think finding out what we've kept from each other out of nowhere might end up hurting us more than it'll help us. We'll likely end up hurt that we kept some rather simple, seemingly insignificant things from each other, even if we both know that we're worried about each other's thoughts concerning our secrets. Emotions are stupid that way, right?" Sakura pointed out, and Heikō agreed.
"Yeah, that's probably true. We should see a specialist about this. Ino's dad is one, right? Think she can get us a session with him?" Heikō suggested, making Sakura giggle a little at the thought.
"Oh god, Ino would freak out if we did that. We'll ask Tsunade or the Third Hokage instead. No need for Ino to know, since she doesn't even know about you yet." Sakura pointed out, and Heikō conceded to Sakura on that point.
"Right, so playing mind-doctor ourselves is a stupid idea because we're not trained and might actually do more harm than good by guessing our way forward. I'm guessing that all Shinobi is as stubborn, if not worse than us when it comes to their mental health, thinking they can do it all on their own. The only reason we're conceding to the fact we have issues is that there's two of us and that we're decidedly more open about it with each other than everyone is with anyone else. Kakashi Sensei is a prime example of that I think." Heikō compared and analyzed their situation with others', making Sakura frown.
"Shit, all of Konoha could be needing a mind-check or something if that's the case. How come we're only seeing this now?" Sakura asked herself and Heikō.
"You know this." Was all Heikō responded with, and Sakura admitted that she did. It was because they had finally acknowledged their own issue, that they managed to compare their own problems with others'.
"I guess I do. So, we're adding talking to our friends about seeking help then? Sasuke won't like that, hopefully, he'll at least listen. I'd like to think he values our opinion, and I don't know if he ever got help with handling the massacre or the Genjustu Itachi put him through." Sakura pointed out, frowning to herself. They'd have to investigate and possibly bring the issue up to Tsunade. There was more to a healthy mind that function and sanity after all.
"Huh, if we had the time, we could write a book on this topic. Actually, I think that might be a good idea anyway, to write down everything we learn, if not for ourselves, then for others." Heikō decided, and Sakura immediately understood what she was hinting at, making her blush slightly.
"For the future generation?" She asked, sensing Heikō confirmed it with a feeling of agreement.
"If we end up with kids or siblings in the future, the Haruno clan would benefit from our findings. You know how close we've been to messing things up. Heck, if Orochimaru hadn't bit us, we might never have awakened our Kekkei Genkai to this level." Heikō pointed out, making Sakura shudder at the thought. She couldn't imagine herself without Heikō, or where she'd be without her. Some traitorous part of her mind decided to provide an answer anyways. "You'd be dead."
"Right, let's fix that then." Sakura decided, changing course from the path back home, to instead take her towards the commercial district of Konoha. They'd need a proper book or binder for them to write everything they knew down in, as well as order some custom privacy seals to ensure whatever they wrote down would remain a secret within their family.
The supply shop they intended to buy their supplies from was one they knew well. Paper and seals. It was rumored to be the best store serving quality stuff at a reasonable price. It wasn't the first choice of everyone, since while the prices were reasonable for the quality of the goods, they were still on the pricey side. Not something most civilians would bother with when there were plenty of cheaper options around. It was a shop more tailored towards Shinobi, offering quality ink, paper, brushes, pens, and other tools that a Shinobi would require. The reason Sakura and Heikō knew about it was because of Ino, who claimed it was where Sasuke had bought his supplies back in the Academy. Naturally, having a crush on him back then, she had checked it out herself.
Back then, she hadn't been able to buy anything worthwhile due to the rather small allowance her parents gave her, but now, with an income of her own, Sakura thought it better to buy something that would last a long time. Therefore, something of superior quality. Although, upon entering the store, her eyes were immediately drawn not to the many products of the story, but to the vibrant redhead who stood out like a sore thumb in the black and white store.
"Karin?" Sakura asked in surprise, prompting the girl to turn around and smile at her.
"Sakura! You're back!" Karin exclaimed, before walking over and hugging her. "I'm so glad you're alright. I was so worried when you suddenly disappeared." Karin informed her in a whisper.
"I was just on a mission. Sorry for not telling you, or anyone else before going, but it was urgent." Sakura lied, hugging Karin back. Although, she felt Karin stiffen slightly at the lie.
"I know what your mission was, Sakura. I was the one who alerted the hospital staff and the Hokage that you were gone." Karin explained in a serious tone, before relaxing her hug again. "I'm just glad you're back. Won't you tell me what happened?" Karin asked her.
"Sure, I guess. Although, I'll have to ask the Hokage first. Mission details are kind of connected to an S-ranked secret." Sakura whispered back, surprising Karin, who then frowned, but nodded in acceptance.
"Alright, I'll inquire with the Hokage about it then. He promised to update me about your disappearance whenever he found something out, but I haven't heard anything until Jiraiya sent his report." Karin explained, sounding a little annoyed at the Hokage for some reason.
"So, what are you doing here?" Sakura asked, looking over at the packet of papers Karin was holding.
"Oh, this?" Karin asked, following Sakura's gaze, before holding up the packet. "I'm just picking up an order for the hospital. I'm being allowed to volunteer and train there to become a medic-nin." Karin told Sakura with a huge smile.
AN: So, this rather spontaneous moment led to a shocking and serious revelation for our two protagonists, don't you think?
Trust, I hope you have all realized by now, is really important to the two, and realizing that they don't quite trust each other entirely, that's quite the shocker. While mental healing is clearly something that exists in the Elemental Nations, it seems entirely focused on the function and stability of a mind, rather than on ensuring that the individual themselves is alright. Kakashi clearly needs help with his unhealthy habits that seem to steam from his grieving and self-blame. Heck, the rather unhealthy idea to distance yourself from your emotions to become the perfect Shinobi seen in ANBU and ROOT are considered normal, so I doubt there's much help with such things, even if they aren't entirely unknown. Something Sakura and Heikō only realized from reflecting upon themselves.
The reason this is even possible is that Sakura and Heikō come from a civilian family. Their perspective of what makes a sound mind differs slightly from that of what a Shinobi would consider right, something they forgot and ignored as they went through the Academy, essentially being reprogrammed with the subtle, and in some cases possibly unintentional programming that goes on there to make them into proper Shinobi.
With the right perspective, one can easily see tons of messed up stuff in what others consider normal and acceptable, and this isn't just true for the Shinobi world and the Elemental Nations. It's not truly a topic I ever intended to explore with this story, but it kind of ended up that way anyway, even though I had thought that I couldn't bring that kind of perspective to Sakura and Heikō due to them not being an outsider to the same degree as us. They grew up in the system, making it a lot harder to see the cracks. Neither do they have a reference to what we'd consider normal, so it is actually a big surprise that they'd reach this conclusion on their own.
Despite all this, I feel like it isn't outside the realm of possibility, and with the knowledge of their own mental state, as well as the many biological texts they've read previously, both Shinobi and civilian, in combination with Tsunade's tutoring, I think that they have the knowledge to begin questioning and exploring an area such as this. Because, when you can't trust someone who is almost you, and you consider a sister, there must be a reason it feels so wrong. That train of thought is what brought this revelation on. Hopefully, this chapter makes a bit more sense now.
Oh, and yeah. Karin seems to be aiming for becoming a medic-nin now. Hurray for her, she seems to drift towards this kind of stuff wherever she is. Ironically, she might become an even better medic than Sakura if she decides to become Tsunade's student, due to her larger reserves, naturally healing chakra, and what I've decided is likely a decent control over her own chakra. Besides, Karin was never much of a fighter in canon anyway, right? So this would be right up her alley.
