A/N: So I know I said I was gonna do up to like 120 but after even just writing out this chapter, I feel…drained, I guess, at how long* this fic wound up being, like holy crap, it started out as a 40 chapter outline and morphed into this colossal 'thing.'
Don't get me wrong, this project is kind of my baby and I love it, given it's the longest bloody fic I've ever written, but I'd rather not drag it on unnecessarily and fill it with too much more filler stuff, plus my focus is currently on my other Remadora fics on my page, The Call of the Dark and Heart of the Forsaken, an HBP AU and POA AU fanfic tales, respectively, so after much thought and deliberation, I've decided that 115 and the Epilogue will be the final 2 chapters of this tale.
I hope that I did our lovely Remadora justice and gave them the ending that they deserved, and as a consequence, this chapter might be kind of long, and the epilogue as well, but since it's the next to the last chapter, I hope you can forgive me!
Also, slight warning as mature themes ahead in this chapter, but I tried my hardest to keep it tasteful (I hope, but the characters in question are both adults, so whatever lol). And towards the end, I hope is a funny little light-hearted segment to break up the dark stuff.
115
The daunting castle of Hogwarts almost seemed to exude a sort of intimidating aura as Lupin approached the greyed structure, with Dora lingering behind to hold Teddy in her arms and conversing with Norah and Ollie.
Each tower of the castle and turret was illuminated by the now fully risen light of the sun as light flowed over the newly repaired castle, though he could still the signs of the devastation Lord Voldemort and his followers had wreaked havoc on two nights ago, and the first thought that flitted through his mind, a selfish one though it was, was that Lupin was grateful he and his wife had not come, and that Dora's labor had started almost the second the fighting began.
He cringed, feeling guilty for even thinking this, though he knew it was pointless to try to fight it. The list of the dead was still unaccounted for, though it was estimated over a hundred lives were lost that blood-soaked red dawn as the Dark Lord attempted to siege Hogwarts. The cool hues from long ago had faded to a brighter color. The proud father and reappointed Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor gazed up at the turrets in awe. It never failed to impress him.
His worn hand slipped out from underneath the pocket of his jacket and withdrew his wand, giving it a curt wave and murmuring, "Evanesco!" under his breath, the spell causing his and his wife's chest of drawers, their trunks, Teddy's things, all to vanish, though he knew their belongings would be waiting for them in their quarters, for now, Lupin just wanted to take a walk.
To walk through those doors, this time, as a free man, liberated from Dolores Jane Umbridge's Anti-Werewolf Legislation Act, as a proud husband and father to his beloved wife and precious son.
A man who now held a steady job with a stable income, a job that he was passionate about, and he had believed Professor Snape when he had stopped by bringing news of Alastor's death that the students prior to the Battle's commencement, all had been clamoring for him to return to Hogwarts, with several kids claiming he had been the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher they had ever had, excelling in a practical approach, though as Remus looked up at the cathedral, he paused.
Every single time that he stood on the school's steps like he was now, a certain uneasiness always filled his chest, and this morning was no exception. He rose a shaking hand to his tired eyes (Teddy had kept them up for a good portion of the evening) and rubbed gingerly over the surface of the rough skin. A scattered sigh managed to escape his lips.
His world, thanks to Harry Potter defeating the Dark Lord, would never be the same. The way that he saw the world was no longer confined to his simple tumbledown shack that he had been forced to live in for most of his life due to the nature of his inability to find decent work, at least back then. But things were different now. The world was a bigger and brighter place because of Harry Potter and the boy's efforts.
Lupin's hand moved to the back of his neck as he rolled his neck to crack it and felt his ears give a twitch and he involuntarily jumped and stiffened as he felt a delicate hand on his shoulder. It was Dora, he noticed, as he turned his head to the side to see Tonks smiling at him.
"Together," she murmured in a low voice, lowering her voice so that only he could hear her, though it didn't stop Ollie and Norah from shooting questionable looks to the nervous way he was looking up at the castle.
He opened his mouth to speak, though he lowered his gaze and squeezed his eyes tightly shut, unable to stop the crushing feeling of guilt as the familiar tacking of Professor McGonagall's boot heels rushed out to greet the school's new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor and his wife. McGonagall looked as though she had aged ten years in the last two days alone, and Remus was startled to see so many hard lines on her face.
His gaze remained fixed in the distance for a few moments as Minerva halted in her footsteps, her sharp, inquisitive eyes flitting from Remus's expression to Tonks's melancholic look as she assessed her husband's morose look and the Transfiguration Professor guessed correctly in that Tonks was thinking of Moody's death, and how much of an impact not being at the battle to fight alongside their friends and family had impacted the two of them, given they were Order members.
"Your son is beautiful, Professor Lupin, Nymphadora," Minerva offered kindly, smiling down through her silver lenses at the sight of baby Teddy Lupin cooing in his mother's arms. "May I?" she asked hopefully.
Tonks momentarily looked surprised by the strange request, but quickly relinquished her baby and gingerly transferred her son over to Professor McGonagall's arms. "Be sure to support his head, Professor," she said.
Professor McGonagall shot the new mother a little knowing smile and a curt nod of her head.
"Of course, dear," she sighed, turning towards Remus, her smile faltering as she surveyed the look of abject guilt and horror on Professor Lupin's face. "I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. All of you," she added for emphasis, her gaze flitting from Remus to Tonks and then to Ollie and Norah, both of whom gave a tiny little nod, but Minerva was pleased to see, and as a result, barely suppressed her soft smile that formed at the edges of her mouth, Professor Snape's best and brightest former student holding hands with the young blonde werewolf, the other arm wrapped around her waist in order to help support the poor dear since her burnt leg was still bound in a cast and the young woman walked with a pronounced limp.
"We lost many two nights ago, including Alastor. He was a kind man with a good heart, and he will be missed. I know how much the man meant to the both of you," Minerva sighed, noticing as Tonks cringed at the mention of her mentor and friend, and something of a father figure to her. "This is between you and Merlin, Professor. I'll give you and your wife some time to get well acquainted. Miss Jameson and Mr. Brennan feel free to explore whatever part of the castle you like. If you're interested, those of us who have chosen to remain at the school throughout the summer to assist with the repairs, what little there is left to do," she added with a tired sigh, "we're hosting something of a light lunch later in the Great Hall if you all get hungry enough once you get settled."
Without another word, she walked away, still holding baby Teddy in her arms, though she paused when she heard Lupin protest.
"Professor McGonagall, a moment, please!" Remus admonished in a hardened yet stunned voice of utter disbelief. "Where do you think you're going? Get back here right now, Minerva! That's my newborn son you're holding!"
Tonks bit the inside wall of her cheek, stifling a tiny grin as Minerva McGonagall slowly pivoted at the waist to regard Remus with an incredulous but unusually stern look on her face that instantly caused her husband to recoil and grip onto his wife's hand for support.
"Yes, Professor, it would seem that he is," she sighed sarcastically, glancing down at Teddy in her arms. "Need I remind you, Professor, that I was well aware of three third-year-students once upon a time practicing to become illegal Animagi so they could be by your side during your monthly transformations and said and did nothing, thinking you needed the company since it would ensure your safety. I shall return your son to you in approximately one hour. The other staff here need a reminder that hope and love still exist in this world," she murmured, not bothering this time to hide the small smile that crept onto her lips, turning the edges of her mouth upwards. "Use this time alone to get settled. Take a walk. Rest. Do whatever suits your needs. Your son shall be returned to you in an hour, but until then, I will be watching him, and you would be utter fools to argue."
The Transfiguration Professor spoke in a clipped and curt tone that was uttered with such finality and sternness that Lupin and Tonks knew better than to argue, and the new parents collectively nodded. Professor McGonagall offered a slight incline of her head in return, saying nothing, and turned away with baby Teddy swaddled comfortably in her arms.
Lupin froze, still feeling somewhat dumbfounded, but quickly shook his head to clear it, and gripped onto Tonks's hand as Dora took the lead, sensing her husband was going to need some encouragement and allowed himself to be led inside the large double doors of the castle.
Remus was not sure he would ever get used to people approaching him in the middle of crowded streets for no reason other than to speak with him these days, now that the stigma on lycanthropy and other werewolves like him was slowly being lifted, and people with his affliction were becoming more and more accepted and integrated into polite society, and he could only hope that in time, his reappointed position as Defense Against the Dark Arts would inspire other werewolves like him to seek to make better lives for themselves, in time.
Tonks spoke up from beside him as they said a brief goodbye to Ollie and Norah, who wanted to go explore the upper levels and assess the repairs of the castle, and Tonks could tell Remus was exhausted.
Though she made no move to drag him up the Grand Staircase and towards their prepared quarters on the second floor, content instead to stay put holding her husband's hand a little while longer. This was it.
Where their actions had led them. For better or worse, Hogwarts was now to become their new home from now until the end of the term, and Tonks thought it was strange how, even after all this time, it was a strange feeling, foreign to her almost, how much she loved Remus.
It felt natural. Like she did not have to try to hide or alter any aspect of her appearance behind her Metamorphmaging abilities. He loved all of her, exactly the way that she was. She couldn't ask for anything more than that, really. Tonks furrowed her brows and glanced around at the newly repaired castle, that, apart from a speck of dust here and there, you could hardly tell just two nights ago, Hogwarts had almost been ravaged. Tonks knew that tragedies, especially shared traumas, were a finicky thing. Some bound others to a place, while others drove them away.
But Tonks had a sinking feeling in the pit of her churning stomach that hers and Remus's were unique, something shared just for them. Just them, and them alone. Which, in its own twisted way, she guessed, was kind of nice. Tonks scoffed, rolling her eyes, and tugged Lupin forward slightly, with the intent on heading up the Grand Staircase to check out their quarters, the place that they would call home for the next several months.
They did not speak until the two of them reached their quarters, and Tonks was pleasantly surprised to see their room was bigger than she had expected.
A four post-king-size bed, a chest of drawers, two nightstands, a writing desk near the only window in the room, and connected to the bedroom was a tiny bathroom. Tonks was appreciative that the Headmaster and whoever else had a hand in setting up their quarters had done their best to make it feel as warm and welcoming as possible, and she didn't hesitate to collapse onto the bed and stare up at the ceiling.
It felt as though since Teddy had been born, she had slept so little, and already, the fatigue of just the journey here was wearing on her, and she was rewarded a moment later as her husband joined her on the bed, wrapping his arms around her middle. "Dora?" Tonks blinked, slowly swiveling her head on the pillow to look over at Remus.
She was surprised to hear how small and meek his voice sounded, not like him at all, and she wondered what the sudden shift in the man's countenance was for. "What is it, Rem?" Tonks murmured, concerned, propping her elbows up on the bed and resting her chin in her hands.
He said nothing in response, at least not at first, merely choosing instead to kiss the lobe of her ear slightly, sending a shiver of delight down her spine. "How did I ever manage to find a woman as wise as you, and one so beautiful?" he questioned, sounding truly curious now.
Tonks smiled gently and returned Lupin's kiss. "If I'm so wise, it's only because of your influence, Rem," she retorted as she propped herself even more up onto the bed to better look her husband in the eye. And this was true. He made her want to be better, a better partner and lover to him, and a better mother to their son, without even trying.
He kissed her forehead, and then gently bent his head down until his lips captured hers in a passionate kiss. A reverberating crack of thunder from outside startled them both, causing them to break apart in alarm. He laughed and pulled her even closer, kissing the tip of her nose playfully before resting his forehead against hers. "Thank you," he whispered.
Tonks was puzzled and frowned at Lupin. "For what?" she asked.
"For being so wonderful," came his answer.
She smiled and rested a hand against her cheek, stifling a yawn. "Only because you bring out the best in me," she replied before kissing him again. "You and I, love, we complete each other. Never forget that, not for an instant. And if you do, well, I'll remind you."
Her husband wrapped his arms around her waist. "You give yourself too little credit, Dora. You've done so much good for me and my life than you'll ever know, and I hope one day to make you understand," he said as he took her arm and guided her back towards their bed. She did not protest as he helped her gently get into bed and climbed in after her.
"As do you," she responded sleepily, reaching up and pushing away a lock of stray hair away from his face as he propped himself up on one elbow to look down at her.
Sleep was catching up with her quickly now, Tonks would never admit it out loud, but this recovery from her pregnancy was exhausting her. "I love you," she murmured quietly as she closed her eyes and her breathing evened.
Lupin gazed down at his wife for a long moment, smiling as he smoothed her strands away from her forehead.
"I love you too," he whispered as he gently lay down next to her carefully to not disturb her, draping his arm around her abdomen. "Both of you, Dora, you and Teddy. Don't forget it, or I'll have to remind you every single day of our lives," he whispered as the thunder died down to a nearly inaudible rumble and the rhythm of the rain against the roof slowed until coupled with his wife's soft breathing, it lulled him to sleep.
Ollie tried his best not to stare at anyone in particular, though he swore he heard the whispers behind his back as the two of them climbed the Grand Staircase at a grueling snail's pace. Norah and Ollie crossed through the passageway that led up onto the roof of the Astronomy Tower, both of them drawn to the very place where Norah had almost lost her life two nights ago.
Despite Norah's insistence that everything would be fine, everything was most assuredly not fine as the moment the two of them separated from Remus and Dora's company, the small crowd around Ollie and Norah had parted like the Red bloody Sea, the buzzing sounds of their hushed whisperings dying quicker than a gust of wind would blow through the air, and Ollie was quick to decide he hated it.
Out of the corner of his peripherals, he saw a few of the lesser-known staff of Hogwarts, elders, mostly, hold eyes of suspicion, but on the whole, the teachers seemed more interested (inappropriately so, in his mind) of the nature of his relationship with Norah more than anything else.
He noticed that while they inclined their heads as a show of respect to the man who had managed to kill Fenrir Greyback, as well as countless numbers of those within his father's ranks, Death Eaters, that as soon as he passed them by on the stairwell, they proceeded to look at Norah's fatigued and limping figure with what the man could only describe as anger and pity.
At first, the Legilimens figured they thought his connection to her was one of a contemptible nature, that he was only with her to satiate his own desires, but the staff, save for Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Snape, who all knew the truth, could not have been further from the truth.
Ollie bit the wall of his cheek, wondering if he had ever been in a situation more awkward than this, and only the touch of Norah's hand in his kept him anchored in his present reality.
His eyes slid instinctively towards Norah, who was pretending to crane her neck to the left and right to look at all the portraits, waving to a few that she recognized.
Sir Cadogan in particular, was delighted to see the former Gryffindor again, much to Ollie's amusement, the bumbling old fool of a knight fell off his horse.
He wasn't fooled though. He saw quite easily the nervous demeanor she was exhibiting, how she was stealing uneasy glances at him out of the corner of her pale blue orbs.
Norah couldn't explain it even if her throat was held at wandpoint and she was given a split second to come up with an answer, thinking she wouldn't be able to, but she wanted to visit the roof again.
She knew tragedies were a funny thing, though she thought in her own way, by visiting the sight of her near-death encounter, that it would be closure for her, and she could put it behind her again.
Their progress was slow, as the two of them made their way up the Grand Staircase due to the nature of Norah's injuries, and simply enjoying being in one another's presence, with Ollie pointing out various facts of the moving portraits hung along the walls.
Norah supposed she should have been apprehensive coming back to Hogwarts, and in the company of a man who wasn't Wes, but she wasn't.
What surprised the young blonde She-Wolf the most was how comfortable she felt around Ollie as if he and something else that she could not identify were welcoming here to a place where she should have always been.
The young blonde witch told herself that surely it was due to her newfound relationship with Ollie, why she felt like this. Unaware of her wistful expression, she let out a tiny sigh.
Norah stiffened, her shoulders rising in defense slightly before looking back towards the portraits, furrowing her brows.
Ollie blinked before he quickly realized he'd been staring at his girlfriend longer than was appropriate, though it was hard for him not to.
But Merlin's Beard, she was the most captivating thing he thought he had ever laid eyes on, and to call Norah his girlfriend felt like a surreal, beautiful dream.
One I never want to wake up from.
She was strong, independent, could hold her own in a fight without her wand.
A man could conquer the whole country of Great Britain with a woman like Norah Jameson by his side, Ollie thought.
His good mood instantly dissipating, his soft smile sliding off his face like Stinksap as he realized Norah's face held a stricken look.
It was a look of dread as her cobalt blue eyes darkened the moment they reached the door that led out onto the Astronomy Tower, and Ollie realized she was growing lost in the memory of that night when Norah almost died.
Anger surged through his veins, boiling his bloodstream hotter than dragon fire could flame as he himself was having trouble blocking out visions of faces he would sooner rather forget. Father, Master Crouch, his stepmother, Greyback…
Ollie froze as his father's emotionless face and listless dark brown eyes flitted to the forefront of his tormented mind. Father.
He stiffened at even just the thought of Jack Brennan, the only one who had looked upon him and had tried his best to raise him as his son, bastard son though he was, and had deceived him, disowned him during his lonesome years of being trapped in the Brennan family manor until he had moved in with Tonks and her family when he was twenty.
Ollie barely stifled his growl of anger as he squeezed his eyes shut, desperate to rid himself of yesterday's events, though he knew he would never be able to.
Norah. Focus on her. He slowly opened his eyes and swiveled his head to find his girlfriend staring at him in a pensive but worried manner.
Desperate to ease her worry, Ollie laid what he hoped was a reassuring hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"You don't have to do this, you know. We can leave," Ollie murmured, whispering it into the shell of her ear, already knowing it was a futile attempt to try to convince Norah to come away, that she did not need to do this to herself.
Norah, as he had anticipated her to, shook her head no in response. "No, Ollie," she growled, a low warning note in her hoarse tone that suggested to him not to argue with his girlfriend. "I do," she murmured, reaching out a shaking hand and turned the knob of the door and stepped onto the roof.
She did not say it in so many words, but he could hear her thoughts. We do, Norah thought, reaching for his hand.
The distorted view of the Astronomy Tower slowly came to focus as the pair stepped out onto the rooftop. Due to the nature of the thunderstorm, though the rain had long since stopped, it was the kind of darkness above their heads that was bleak, dark, mysterious, and you couldn't see very much.
The kind of night, if Ollie was being honest with himself, that he would rather stay at home than be out in, but he had promised Norah that he would come, his birthday and what he wanted or not, be Merlin-damned.
The pair of them stood out on the roof in a pocket of the thick fog that swooped and skirted around the various turrets and parapets of the castle. Norah stood in a pocket of it, but it only seemed like it.
She knew that they were swallowed too, erased, eradicated by this enveloping whiteness. It hurt her eyes.
It was so bloody and blindingly white. Staring at her it made Norah feel like she was staring at herself, staring at nothing. Her mind fought hard to drum up a thousand different descriptions to plaster across it.
But there was nothing that could truly describe nothing. Each thought she had seemed loud and exposed, just like every movement she made in the silence that wrapped like the fog around her. Maybe the fog was somehow in her, just as she was in it.
"Here, you should sit, Norah, you're looking tired, Nor. Sit, before you pass out on me and I have to save you again," Ollie murmured, his weak attempt at a joke falling flat, but it was more than enough to break Norah out of her concentration.
Norah tore her gaze away from the swirling mist and dark black and purple thunderclouds above their heads, as she turned to look at her boyfriend as he made a motion to wave his wand as he dipped into the pocket of his jeans, though was halted in his movements as she stopped him, smiling softly and took his hand, much to his confusion, and dragged him over to the ledge of the rooftop, and sat precariously at the ledge, her legs dangling over the edge, in almost the exact same position he had found her up here two nights ago, thank Merlin, though, this time, without Greyback by her side digging his claws into her side.
"Your wounds? Do they hurt?" Ollie asked, a concerned look on his face as Norah's face twisted and contorted into a pained grimace.
"They're fine, Ollie," Norah murmured softly, looking away from Ollie and out into the swooping, skirting mist that blanketed the grounds of Hogwarts. "They twinge now and again, but I'm going to be fine," she whispered. "Thanks to you," she croaked hoarsely, finally turning to look at Ollie. "You saved my life. Not only a few nights ago, but…from him," she whispered, wincing as her boyfriend's cobalt blue orbs darkened, almost cerulean in color as he thought of his father.
The truth had been right before his eyes all this time. Ollie released all his stress in one single breath as he ducked his head and looked away, allowing a lock of his black bangs to fall in front of his eyes and shielding Norah's face from him. Ollie drew in a sharp breath that pained his lungs as he sat on the ledge next to Norah, stricken with the sudden realization and hurt that his father was…gone. Murdered. By me, he thought, and he flinched, swearing he tasted bitter acidic stomach bile that lingered on his tongue.
How could all of that have been a lie? Had Father never loved him? Tears of betrayal and crushing guilt stung and marred the edges of his blurred vision as he struggled to wrap his mind around the concept of what it was that he had done. He felt as though his entire miserable, wretched life up to this point had been brainwashed by evil. First by Father, and then by Master Crouch when Barty Crouch Jr. had taken him hostage, and even now, he admitted he loved his father.
Ollie had been unwaveringly loyal to the man, had respected Father, and obeyed him. There had never been love, no purpose in his father's life other than to be a pawn to his schemes, used as nothing more than a tool to bring hurt, death, and destruction upon those who dared oppose the Dark Lord and his massive armies of followers at his command.
"Ollie…?" Norah's cautious half-smile faded as her bright blue eyes turned dangerously somber for her boyfriend.
Her voice was passionate, just the same as it had been the night that his whispered words of love had brought her back, and he became so enveloped in a torpid whirl of dark memories that he did not even feel Norah's hand on his arm.
"Ollie. It's done. He—he can't hurt you anymore. You did what you had to do to protect yourself. And…us."
Her words, soft but harsh, finally broke him out of his stupor, and gazed down his nose at his girlfriend with a look that was conflicted and heartbroken. Norah's face fell and became crestfallen as she realized just how much of an impact Death Eater Jack Brennan had on the poor man, so much influence.
Ollie slowly shook his head, his black bangs still hanging like a curtain in front of his face, though Norah itched to reach up with her hand and swipe them out of his eyes, forcing her to look at him. "Why did you go?" he asked, his voice cracking and breaking as he lifted his chin to look at Norah.
Norah froze, having anticipated he would ask this question at some point during the still very much early days of their new relationship, but she hadn't anticipated it would be now. Her lungs suddenly felt starved for breath as a vision of her husband danced in front of her eyes, Wes watching them.
In his simple white shirt and jeans, he looked every bit the wolf that Norah knew her deceased husband to be, yet his face was so sullen and careworn it sent a chill down her spine. Wes mouthed her name, but she could not hear his voice.
Norah longed to reach out to touch him and their three-year-old son in his arms, to feel them, to ensure they were real. She stretched out a trembling hand, watching as her arm became engulfed in the thick white mist, and she barely managed to stifle a low, pitiful whine as the apparition vanished, fading from view.
When she tried to speak their names, it felt as though there was a gag in her mouth, as her tongue felt thick in his mouth.
"I…" Norah's voice trailed off. "I…had to…." Norah whispered in a hoarse voice barely above a whisper, speechless, before she rose to leave, grimacing and stifling a groan at the pain in her leg, though before she could rise to her feet, Ollie's hand shot out and latched onto her forearm, preventing her from leaving him.
"No," he growled darkly. "Not again. Not a second time." His already naturally pale face drained of color as Norah slowly lifted her gaze to look into Ollie Brennan's pale blue orbs, burning bright with a smoldering rage and a horrible, antagonized hurt. If only she knew the effect she had on him…
"…she killed them…I…couldn't let her kill you too," Norah soon managed to croak out, turning away from Ollie.
She ducked her head in shame and hot embarrassment as a light pink blush speckled along her cheeks, not wanting Ollie to see her like this. "Y—your father was too far gone," Norah whispered hatefully, wanting to steer the conversation back towards the topic of Jack Brennan's murder, as what had happened yesterday was plaguing his mind and haunting him.
"…please, just…don't…" Ollie struggled, his voice warbling and it sounded as though he were blinking back tears. "I know what he did, Norah, all right?" he snapped back, rather roughly, and he winced as he witnessed Norah flinch away in both hurt and surprise. "But…he—he was all I had. All I had," he groaned, turning away and finally cracked and broke down, shifting at the waist and shielding himself from her view as to finally try to be alone, but he could not have been more wrong.
He was not alone, and neither was Norah. Not anymore. Norah pursed her lips into a thin line and bit the wall of her cheek as she tapped him on the shoulder.
The moment he lifted his gaze and turned with his tear-stricken face to meet her gaze, she took his chin in hers and firmly cupped it, tilting his head slightly upward, thereby forcing Ollie to meet her hardened glacier blue stare.
"Ollie, look at me," she commanded in a hardened voice that she knew was beginning to sound like her old self again, for which she was relieved. "What you did yesterday was right. That man would have continued following us and hunting us both until he would have surely killed us. Even when…" Her voice trailed off as she remembered the lustful way Herr Jack Brennan had looked at her yesterday in the Lupin's living room. She swallowed down hard past a lump in her throat and continued. "You're strong, Ollie. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. You're way stronger than me, than anyone else I've ever known, to be willing to risk your own life for me, for what you think is right, even if it's…against your family."
Ollie's pale blue orbs, so tearful and conflicted wavered slightly as he dared not look away, but after a second, they closed.
"I—I didn't know that he…that he…would…I couldn't…let him…kill us…" But his voice cracked, and he couldn't complete his thought as he buried his face in his hands. Norah let out a tiny sigh and forced Ollie's hands down to rest in his lap, firmly gripping onto both of the man's wrists.
She scooted a fraction of an inch closer and heaved a tiny groan as she used what little strength was left that she hadn't exerted from climbing so many bloody stairs of the Grand Staircase to sit up here with him, at the top of the world, until the young blonde werewolf was straddling his lap.
Norah did not hesitate to wrap her arms around Ollie's middle, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on top of his hair.
A rather suggestive-looking embrace and she sincerely hoped one of the teachers, or even worse, Remus or Tonks wouldn't come looking for them up here. She blushed as a fiery heat began its rapid ascent in her chest.
The hug was a simple enough gesture—affection, love. The arms that held Ollie were soft, yet strong. The feel of Norah's body so close to his and she did not flinch or shirk away soothed Ollie's broken heart more than he had expected.
Despite her initial and intense dislike and hatred for the Death Eater who had, at least as far as Norah knew, come into their friends' home unannounced and what he had put Ollie through, she knew the man was still close to his father, as a son. He was a son who had just lost his father to insanity.
"I'm so sorry, Ollie," Norah apologized guiltily, her voice strained as a single tear escaped her right eyelid and slid down her cheek and landed on top of Ollie's head. "I didn't mean to be so insensitive by being so fucking rude about it. He was your father. He meant a great deal to you, Ollie. Mourn him if it helps you to heal."
"H—he was going to use me…use me to get to you…"
Norah nodded, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, never wanting to admit this out loud, but she was grateful Ollie had killed his own father. The man was a vicious bastard. Wicked.
The world was better off without a man like that around, and North said as much in the effort to get Ollie to see the light that what he did was right, even if it didn't feel like it.
"It was wrong that your father, he used you, Ollie," Norah said softly, allowing her hand to drift upwards and rake her fingers through his thick tuft of black hair.
She sighed tiredly, thinking he would need a trim soon, but she would take care of it later after they left Hogwarts and went back home to Wales.
She continued, knowing her boyfriend needed to hear this. "None of this was your doing, Ollie. You know that, I know this, Remus and Tonks know the truth, and I hope you understand it," Norah murmured, gently carding her fingers through his hair in a way that elicited a tremor of pleasure down his spine.
The poor man was constantly enduring hardship after hardship following the Battle of Hogwarts.
Norah glanced down as she felt Ollie lower his head for a moment before craning it and shifting her position on his lap, both of his hands coming to grip almost painfully tight on her waist, his fingers clutching onto her black t-shirt for support.
"…thank you, Norah," Ollie managed to utter as a half-choked sob was trapped in his throat. As he whispered his gratitude like it was a hushed, dirty secret, their gazes locked as ice met ice.
"You have a big heart, Ollie. I don't know that I would possess such compassion to care for a man who'd brought so much hurt to me," Norah whispered. "You're more of a man than he ever gave you credit for, and don't let anybody tell you differently."
Ollie let out a haggard sigh, his chest shaking as he lifted his chin and turned to their immediate left and looked out into the swooping thick white fog that threatened to engulf the pair of them on the rooftop of the Astronomy Tower.
He swallowed down hard past the lump in his throat, fighting in vain to fight down the salty liquid gathering at the edges of his eyes as he slowly turned his gaze back to Norah.
"…a man…my father was not a man, Norah. He was...a monster..." Ollie swallowed; his voice pulled tight.
Norah furrowed her light blonde brows into a frown, sensing there was more Ollie wanted to say, but she did not give him a chance as she wrapped her legs tighter around his waist, squeezing lightly, ignoring the brief shot of pain that spiraled up as a white-hot lightning flare in her injured leg, as she captured his head with her hands and pressed her lips to his.
The moment their lips touched; the entire rooftop of the Astronomy Tower vanished instantly. Her eyes fell closed, and all Norah could feel was Ollie.
His warmth, his touch. Just him.
Norah's heart ached with a heavy desire for her new boyfriend, her still-healing injuries be Merlin-damned and could go to hell for all she cared when his arms wrapped tighter around her back before drifting to the back of her skull, pressing in slightly.
She could feel hot tears stinging in her eyes, and when Ollie pulled away to gasp for air, she yanked him back roughly before he could protest, her lips meeting his with fervor. She was intoxicated—Norah knew she was bewitching him, but it didn't matter.
Nothing would matter after this. She had never had anything that was 'good enough.'
Except for this, and nothing could stop this, this thing that was happening between the two of them that was so exhilarating.
Nothing.
She knew they bloody shouldn't, given the extent of her injuries, but it was already too far gone now.
Ollie reached up and stroked back a stray wisp of Norah's blonde pixie that had fallen out of its proper place, and he let out a content sigh as Norah leaned into his hand, basking in his touch, not caring that his hands were scarred or calloused and rough, not at all smooth. He exhaled slowly.
She was hypnotizing him, the little minx, and the look in Jameson's bright blue eyes suggested she bloody knew it.
Ollie pulled back to study Norah's flushed face, her cheeks a pale pink and high with color, her kiss-swollen lips, though she made no move to untangle her legs from being wrapped around his waist, and he decided he liked feeling her this way, even if it looked like the two of them were in a suggestive embrace if someone were to stumble across them.
Ollie knew they should stop this before it led to something much more passionate and much more dangerous, to say nothing of on top of the roof of the Astronomy Tower, but the sensations felt so good, and he didn't want it to stop.
His head felt like it was pounding and this time, when Norah leaned in for a second kiss, he gingerly pushed her back, forcing Norah to pull back slightly with a confused look.
"Ol, what's wrong? You…you don't like it?" she asked, sticking out her bottom lip in a slight pout, biting down on it.
He looked pained. "N—no. I—I do, I just…here?" he gulped nervously. "The Astronomy Tower?! And your injuries, it's too soon for this, Norah, and I…" He cringed, cursing himself and looking away for a moment. "I've never…done this before," Ollie murmured, whispering his confession like a dirty, shameful secret.
Norah leaned into his embrace, her eyes aching for him, and Ollie reddened like mad at the look of absolute desire. He was confused as well.
It was wrong of him to want this here.
He looked at the hurt look on Norah's face and let out a sigh, reaching up to stroke a few strands of her golden blonde hair.
"You're beautiful, Nor," he murmured, unable to tear his gaze away from the young blonde werewolf, though the second she stiffened and grew almost still at his words, he knew he'd said something wrong, and he cursed himself, surprised at her shift in countenance.
Her brilliant blue eyes brimmed with unshed tears, fell from his face as Norah buried her face in the crook of his shoulder.
"Don't," she pleaded, shaking her head. "Don't call me that," Norah begged in a heart-wrenching voice.
Immediately sensing he had overstepped some invisible boundary just now, Ollie grew worried, a stab of fear pricking at his heartstrings.
"What…should I call you then?" he asked. "Why? What is this? What's wrong, Norah?" he asked, feeling utterly confused as he refused to let this woman off his lap.
Norah did not immediately answer him and refused to look at Ollie, ashamed.
She finally pulled away and drew in a breath, fully ready to explain why she couldn't take his compliment but found that her tongue refused her words' release.
His grip on her waist and her back tightened even more, and as he pulled her closer onto his lap so that she was resting against his chest, somehow, perhaps soothed by her boyfriend's reassuring touch, Norah found her resolve to tell Ollie the painful truth, that she had never been beautiful.
"No one, save for…" She gulped. "Wes," she whispered, wincing as she saw Ollie's jaw muscles twitch in a moment of jealousy, though she chose to ignore it and continued, "has ever thought me to be beautiful," she confessed, still unable to lift her chin and meet Ollie's pained gaze. "Everyone at Hogwarts when I came here to go to school, they laughed at me, made fun of me, spit on me once they found out I was a…werewolf. They tried to…to put a collar and a leash on Wes and I…parade us around the…the hallways like we were pets." Her blue eyes became glossy and glassed over as she recollected her colorful past. "I was nothing but a joke, Ollie."
Ollie furrowed his black brows into a frown as his blood began to boil at the people throughout Norah's life who had tortured her for her condition that she had no control over.
He wished he could rip them apart limb from limb with his own bare hands. His heart ached for her. He did not speak.
Ollie rested his forehead against hers and held her close, hoping that just the simplistic intimacy of holding her like this would cure all of her hurt, that he could absorb it and keep it as his own, though he knew that it couldn't. Not really.
Norah grabbed onto his wrists and leaned into him, before moving her hands to entwine her fingers in his black hair.
"But don't you get it, Norah? The fact that you didn't let it get to you proves that you're strong." Ollie pressed, desperate to make her see the truth. "That's what makes you so…so…" Ollie paused, trying to think of a word to describe her beauty and kind, compassionate heart underneath her hardened exterior in such a way that wouldn't cause her pain.
But he couldn't.
There was no other word he had to describe his girlfriend.
"… Beautiful," he murmured, grinning as he gave his head a little shake, unable to imagine anything else in this world more beautiful than the blonde werewolf and witch straddling his lap and testing the limits of his restraint.
Norah leaned into Ollie at his words as her arms slipped around his neck with ease. She looked like she was about to cry, but this time, however, it was tears of joy that choked her.
"I love you, and…happy birthday, Ollie," she whispered hoarsely through her tears, having to lean down to whisper it into the shell of his ear, and didn't even give Ollie a chance to reciprocate her words before she pressed his lips to hers, her mouth hungry and yearning for his embrace as Ollie felt her tongue envelop his. Their pulses quickened as both of them felt the same thing at what they had just confessed to one another.
The fiery ache in her body almost too much to bear, Norah tugged on fistfuls of Ollie's sweater until the man was hovering over her, and he only seemed to relent when, seeing the dark look he shot her, she sighed and reached for her wand, which had been resting near her thigh, and waved it once, conjuring blankets and a pillow. "Better?" she teased, biting down on her bottom lip.
He grunted wordlessly by way of response, signaling he did not care either way, as he reached with fumbling fingers for Norah's t-shirt and clumsily pulled it over Norah's head.
Ollie braced himself with his palms against the blankets and pinned against the cold stone roof with the pressure of his scarred but muscular body as he practically tore his sweater trying to tear it off, while still being mindful of Norah's leg.
The two of them locked eyes for just a moment, just enough for us to feel safe with one another. Then he's all business, undoing her jeans, pulling them off, kissing from her toes upward, slowly, his hands on her legs, always just a little higher than the kisses. Norah felt her back arch in anticipation, knowing where his fingers will soon reach.
Her head rocked back against the pillow as he did, the first moan escaping her lips. As Ollie thrusted inward, all Norah saw was his face, the fog completely shrouding the rest of the Astronomy Tower from view.
Their breaths rose in visible puffs and though there is a soft wind they were warm with one another. Both of them knew they were too old for outdoor sex; it really should be all silk sheets and petals, but Norah didn't care and neither did Ollie, she could tell by the look on his face. Their fingers caressed each other's skin as if afraid a heavier touch would break the heady magic.
They became one, one mind with one goal and purpose, each utterly drunk with love for the other. Ollie's hands descended and drifted down her sides, clasping onto her hips, relishing in Norah's cries of pleasure as he set a growl with each push. Her nails dug into his back, causing him pain.
But it was a sweet pain, one that he welcomed, and gone from Norah's kiss for too long, he lowered his lips to hers.
He found them just as longing as his were and worked his tongue against hers, and he let out a groan as Norah's nails dug even more into his back, thinking that he had never had anything this sensual before in his life.
Ollie had never had such an unyielding and powerful need and ache in his life, and as he reached his limit, he decided that he never wanted to move again. What he had just experienced was more than anything he could have ever imagined in his life.
He wanted to be here, on top of this rooftop, with Norah in his arms, for all eternity. Norah's arms around his, her body around him. It felt so good. He couldn't even put it into words, so he tried to show it.
He felt Norah wriggling beneath him and he pulled her back, though shifted and pulled Norah to lie on top of him, as his lips met hers with fervor before pulling apart, letting out a content sigh as Norah laid with her head on his scarred chest for Merlin only knew how long, reveling in the rise and fall of her boyfriend's gentle breathing as he exhaled long and slow.
She blinked, momentarily startled as Ollie reached up and kissed her temple at the exact moment a cold chill wafted down her spine and Norah frowned, raising her wand and conjuring another blanket as she pulled the blanket overtop the two of them, letting out a sigh of pleasure as it felt as though Ollie's fingers were trying to convince himself as they explored of their own accord every crevice of her body beneath the sheets that Norah was real, that she was something he could actually have. Ollie's embrace was loving and gentle.
Norah tightened her grip as she heard Ollie let out a groan as he leaned up and breathed in her scent of pinewood and of autumn and the forest, wrapping his arms around her.
"Let's stay up here forever," Ollie coaxed, a pleading tone to his voice, earning a light laugh from Norah as she rolled off of straddling his hips and entwined her fingers in his and held his hand, giving him a gentle nudge with her elbow to his ribcage to get him to scoot over and share the damn pillow.
"I like the sound of that," Norah grinned, dreamily enjoying the peaceful picture he painted for her as they lay there.
They laid there for Merlin knew how long, wishing they could truly remain up here beneath the sheets, but knowing eventually their friends would be missing them soon.
Norah squirmed in Ollie's arms as her stomach growled, eliciting a laugh from Ollie at how loud it bloody was.
They'd been so focused on each other this morning, with helping Remus and Tonks pack up what they could and move it here to Hogwarts, and Norah was not one to want to interrupt the aftermath of their lovemaking, but she knew they'd be missed at the Great Hall if they didn't leave.
"Are you hungry?" Ollie asked her finally.
"Starved, Ollie," she murmured, the beginnings of a lascivious grin forming on her lips as she leaned over and kissed him again. "Just not for lunch…" Norah joked huskily.
His lips brushed against Norah's. Not innocently, like a tease but hot, fiery, passionate, and demanding. She wanted to pull away before she lost herself, but she can't seem to…
At this moment, her wolfish senses have been seduced and Norah could no longer think straight.
"Norah…" Ollie whispered slowly, prolonging each letter as if to savor them.
Norah smiled, her heart fluttering at his voice as she clasped her hands on either side of his face. Never before has her name ever felt so wonderful coming from Ollie's lips, she thought, as she leaned in for another. In moments, the soft caress has become firmer, he savored her lips and the quickening of her breath that matched his own.
A kiss like this was a beginning, a promise of much more to come….
Everyone at the Great Hall followed them with inquisitive, wandering eyes.
They tried to hide it, but Ollie could see the hidden spying, the stolen glances that met as they stumbled rather than walked to join Remus and Tonks, who sat next to Professor McGonagall and Snape, of all people, which Ollie thought strange, considering Severus had confessed that he wasn't too fond of Remus or of his wife, and yet, the sight of Nymphadora conversing with Severus in hushed, animated, almost angry tones was a strange one.
It must have been his unruly clothes, the way the sleeves of his black woolen sweater were rolled up to the elbows, or his wild disheveled tuft of black hair that stuck up.
Norah's cheeks were flushed bright pink with color, though she did not relinquish her grip on his hand as the pair of them moved to take the empty seats next to Professor Flitwick and Dumbledore, both of whom offered raised eyebrows at the pair's disheveled appearance, though chose not to comment, though it was Tonks and Severus Ollie chose to focus on as he moved to help himself and Norah to food.
Tonks was clutching at her heart as though it pained her, wishing that for the first time, someone would burst into the Great Hall and announce something exciting like a troll had been let loose in the dungeons or a herd of wild hippogriffs was approaching, anything to take her mind off the unwanted connection that she was tethered to with her best friend now.
It did not escape Ollie's attention that both Professor Snape and Tonks wore looks of extreme mortification, their faces equally red, and Tonks had buried her head in her hands. Being a skilled Legilimens, she had tried to block out the private moment she had heard up on the roof of the Astronomy Tower for the last thirty minutes, having to squeeze her eyes shut and resisting the urge to tug on locks of her hair while Remus, oblivious as always, had worked hard to get Teddy to sleep, following Professor McGonagall returning their son to him, as promised.
Professor Snape sat motionless, equally red in the face as Tonks was when she finally decided to speak her mind.
"Wow," she whispered under her breath. "I didn't know he had it in him, did you, Severus? Did he—did you ever catch him when we were students here, Snape? I—I tried to block it out, but I…I couldn't. Were you able to?" Tonks confessed, looking to Snape for confirmation before her gaze flitted to Ollie down a few seats at the table.
Something was off, but Ollie stayed quiet, wanting to hear more to see just what the bloody hell was going on here.
He was surprised when his former Head of House in a not-so-surprising fit of agitation reached up one of his hands and smacked Remus's wife upside the head.
Thank Merlin Remus was deep in the throes of a conversation with Professor McGonagall and missed it, or Ollie knew there'd be hell to pay.
Tonks shot Snape a withering look and gingerly rubbed the back of her head, biting down hard on her bottom lip. "What? I'm just saying, Snape! He's my best mate, a—and I didn't even know the guy had it in him!" she whisper hissed.
Severus groaned in exasperation, his blush intensifying as he pinched at the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
"Nymphadora, will you stop this incessant prattling, please, you're giving me a headache, and I'm trying my very hardest to forget." Severus gave Tonks a pained look.
"Oh, right, right, but you're no fun at all, Severus. Save it for someone who gives a crap, Snape!" Tonks pouted, her gaze flitting from Norah to Ollie, her lips pursed in such a thin line. "But seriously, though, where did he learn it from?"
"NYMPHADORA!" Professor Snape bellowed, finally losing the last vestiges of his patience and banging the flat of his palm on the surface of the table, causing the entire staff table in the Great Hall to collectively swivel their heads to look at the source of the disturbance.
Snape cringed and scowled heavily, turning his wrathful gaze towards Ollie and Norah.
Ollie and Norah had just started to dig into their food when Professor Snape's angered yell broke them out of their moment, and Ollie froze, his fingers wrapped around the tines of his fork so hard that the harsh cold metal almost pierced the skin of Ollie's fingers.
He furrowed his brows in slight confusion as he exchanged a curious glance with Tonks, whose face had reddened considerably, and Norah, he could tell, out of the corner of his eyes, was just as equally as confused as he was.
At least, until realization struck him like a spiked flail and poor Ollie felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach.
"Oh, my God…" he moaned, burying his head in his hands, and not even the gentle touch of Norah's hand on his shoulder as she gave him a sharp jolt to break him out of it was enough to tamper down the embarrassment that was threatening to consume him in waves. "T, I…I'm so sorry…"
Tonks's blush merely intensified and she inclined her head, though she shot him a venomous look as she turned towards Remus, who was shooting his wife a look of pained concern at Snape's outburst, and Tonks was momentarily distracted as she took baby Teddy from her husband's arms.
Her face flushed a bright pink as she pushed her plate of barely touched food away, Teddy in her arms, and rose from her chair so fast in her haste to flee the quizzical stares she was currently on the receiving end from the other professors that she almost overturned her chair.
Tonks pursed her lips into a thin line, wincing as Remus rose from his chair with a concerned look on his face for his wife, looking completely lost as to what was going on.
She met Ollie's gaze and fixed her best mate and his new girlfriend with a rather pointed glare.
I heard EVERYTHING, Ollie! Tonks violently exclaimed in their shared impossible telepathy. I couldn't tell Remus what was wrong with me or else I'd have to explain what I was bloody hearing! Next time get a ROOM! Or take Norah into the Forest or someplace out of my range!
I…I... didn't…I….
Ollie felt even his thoughts die in his mind as his face drained of color as he struggled to find his words. Norah, Merlin bless the werewolf, rubbed Ollie's shoulder soothingly, furrowing her brows into a slight frown.
"The hell's wrong with you, Ollie?" she growled, bearing her sharpened canines that it did not escape Ollie's attention that caused a few of the teachers to flinch away in response. Her expression softened slightly as Norah noticed just how mortified he was. "What is it, what's wrong, Ollie?" she pressed quietly.
Ollie's embarrassed and frightened look in his darkening blue eyes as he watched Tonks and Lupin swiftly exit the Great Hall with their wriggling baby son in his best friend's arms was almost too much for Norah to bear, and her curiosity was buzzing in her mind like a hive of bees at his shift in behavior.
Something was off. His skittish and nervous demeanor momentarily returned as Ollie's gaze remained fixated on Remus and Dora until the pair of them stepped over the threshold that separated the Great Hall from the corridor and rounded the corner, and the last word Ollie heard Lupin ask his wife before the pair of them disappeared from his line of sight and his hearing as well was for Dora to tell him what was going on.
And Tonks, Merlin bless her, refused to let Remus in on her and Severus Snape's little 'secret.'
Ollie let out a sigh. "Nothing, Norah," he murmured, his blush still prominent on his cheeks. He had a feeling Tonks would be bloody making him pay for this for the rest of his natural days alive.
He turned to look at Norah, to see if his girlfriend was as embarrassed as he felt, though he did not get a chance to ask as Ollie was rendered silent by the She-Wolf's gentle kiss.
Ollie practically melted in his chair, not caring if the other professors saw, though he could tell by the light little cough that Professor Snape gave off that the man was fed up.
Sensing they weren't wanted here without Remus and Tonks present; Ollie felt the beginnings of a soft but playful smile creep on his face as he rose from his chair and tugged Norah out of her chair and down the walkway.
Norah cocked an eyebrow curiously at Ollie before dismissing whatever it was that was bothering her boyfriend as she allowed herself to be led out onto the Hogwarts Grounds to visit their old friend Hagrid, but on one condition, Ollie warned, fixing the young blonde werewolf with a stern, admonishing glower.
"Don't tell Hagrid, Norah, whatever you do, bloody just don't, all right, " he murmured, wildly gesticulating with his hands, wildly glancing at Norah out of the corner of his eyes as her bright blue eyes momentarily glossed over, and he didn't even have to probe into her mind to know that she was thinking of Aragog, and his pink blush slowly subsided the further from Hogwarts the pair of them walked as they headed towards Hagrid's Hut, unaware Tonks and Lupin were watching them from their window.
Tonks watched from her window as Ollie and Norah strode up to Hagrid's hut and after a moment, the familiar towering silhouette of the half-giant groundskeeper opened the door and greeted Jameson like an old friend, turning towards Ollie with a crooked grin on his face as the man's beard twitched without prompting as Norah greeted the Groundskeeper and introduced Hagrid to Ollie.
Hagrid was looking relatively unscathed, for which Tonks was relieved, aside from a few minor cuts and abrasions near his forehead from the Battle of Hogwarts, but unharmed.
The burning in her cheeks slowly subsided as she shook her head to clear her mind, and it was at that moment baby Teddy decided to tug on a lock of her hair.
"Ouch! No, no, Teddy, that's...not nice, we don't tug on Mum's hair!" she yelped, gingerly reaching up with her thumb and forefinger and removed her curl from her son's tiny, ironclad grasp.
"Here, let me take him," Lupin murmured, reaching out his arms and a soft smile lit his lined face, making him look years younger and not so scarred whenever Remus smiled, which, thank Merlin, was so much more these days since the two of them had married and Teddy had come into their lives.
He took one look at Tonks's crestfallen face as she stood by the window and saw what she was clutching in her hand. Moody's eye. His face fell and he moved to stand next to Tonks.
"You should go and say goodbye. I'll handle Ted, Dora," he urged, lowering his voice as Teddy's cooing slowly subsided as the baby nestled deeper into his swaddling and seemed to find the warmth of his father's arms relaxing. "Mad-Eye would want that for you, Dora. You need to let him go, sweetheart. Let him go."
She turned to him after a long moment in silence, "I can't," she whispered, her voice cracking and breaking and she walked away, Mad-Eye's eye still clutched in her hand, leaving Lupin alone with their son.
It had been going on two hours, and Tonks still wasn't back yet, which had prompted Remus to ask Norah and Ollie to babysit Teddy when they got back from Hagrid's after about an hour of visiting to go look for Dora.
They had agreed without any hesitation on their part and now, here he was, drawn yet again to a graveyard not that far from Hogwarts, the very same where his mother was buried, and he decided he didn't like it, being back here. Lupin did not know why his wife was drawn to such a place, of death and torment, though whenever he would ask her, she claimed that it calmed her soul. That sometimes…she talked to them. The people they knew that rested there.
She visited Remus's mother's unmarked grave at least once a week ever since having a chance to talk with her resurrected spirit at their wedding, always placing a single white lily at the foot of the tombstone, hoping it was a small measure of comfort to her spirit.
He had passed by Alastor's gravesite and was not surprised to see a plethora of flowers at the Auror's tomb, and Tonks had delicately placed his magical swiveling eye right at the front of his grave, no doubt so that the eye could watch for potential vandals.
Though to his surprise, Tonks was not at her usual spot where she would sit next to Hope's gravesite. His wife was kneeling at the engravement of none other than Barty Crouch Jr., who had seemingly died from the Dementor's Kiss earlier this afternoon.
An owl had been delivered to Dumbledore, and Albus had informed Remus in private not even an hour ago. Remus hadn't intended to tell Dora, thinking she didn't need a constant reminder of what he had done to her throughout the last year alone, though, here she was, with a single white lily in her hand, that she gingerly placed at his grave, an impassive, unreadable expression etched on her pale features.
"Why? Why do this?" he croaked out hoarsely, cringing as Dora turned her head sharply, coughing once, a hand tucking back a lock of her hair, hating to see the red-rims of her pale gray irises.
"Why are you here, Remus? Shouldn't you be back at the castle with Teddy?" Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper.
"Because…I didn't want you to be alone. Don't worry about Ted, Dora. Norah and Ollie are watching him until we get back," he whispered, his voice pained. He coughed once and turned away once, willing himself to stay calm. "Why?" he asked again, turning back towards Tonks and the grave that she knelt beside. "You and I both know he doesn't deserve it."
"But he does," his wife protested quietly. "And let me tell you why, Remus. Because like it or not, there was a small part of him that was still human, he was just a man and…" Tonks's voice cracked and trailed off as she looked away, blinking back tears. "And I feel sorry for him," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper. "Don't you? All he ever wanted was to be loved, and the one woman who he thought could help him didn't return his affections and it drove him to the point of insanity, Rem."
Remus's mind felt like it was reeling. She was…she was sorry? For Crouch? How? And why? For a moment, he forgot the immense guilt that rested like a weight upon his chest and felt his mouth drop open in shock. "I…b-but why? Crouch was not in his right mind, love, he almost caused us to lose our son, and he, a- almost killed you…and you say you feel sorry for him? He does not deserve our love or even our pity for the things he did to us. You know that, so why? I—I don't understand, Dora," he stammered, suddenly feeling like he was returning to his old self again, the worst of his anger evaporating as he offered out his outstretched hand to help his wife to her feet.
He hated that Tonks hesitated then, but finally, she accepted his hand and brushed her palms on the front of her black maternity jeans.
"Because," she sighed, still actively averting Remus's quizzical gaze, though she felt her shoulders slump in defeat, knowing that sooner or later, she'd have to look him in the eyes. "Crouch, flawed though he was, was a man who lived without love. Without morals. I pity those who live without love. And…I feel sorry for him. Just as I feel sorry for Ollie's father," she sighed wistfully. "To—to never know the joy of being loved back and cared for. I don't think he got much of it growing up, given what we saw of that family back at the estate. Sometimes I wonder what the man might have been like had he grown up with a better family if he would have been kind, or would he have turned out the way that he had, still. I hope that, wherever he is, he has found some small measure of peace in death that he could not find in life. Both of them. The same goes for Jack, too, Remus," she whispered, biting her bottom lip in a slight pout.
Tonks winced and clutched at her ribcage, and Remus felt his temper flare as the memory of Crouch torturing her came back to haunt him.
Tonks winced as she noticed him looking. "I know what you are thinking. How could I when he did this to me, the torment he put us through, and when he tortured poor Ollie for all those years on end and showing no signs of mercy," she sighed, glancing down at the ground beneath their feet. "But...I forgive him."
He was, perhaps for the second time in his life, rendered at a loss for words. Tonks smiled sadly, noticing his stupefied look, though it did not reach her eyes.
"Life is too fleeting to bear a grudge, Remus. I would have thought you'd know that better than anyone, given your history with Peter. But…why are you here?"
Remus looked away for a moment at the moss-laden marble pillars that stood as despairing guards on either side of the cemetery threshold. Gnarled old trees hunched over most of the expanse, plunging the rest of the graveyard into shadow. This place echoed with painful grief and the emptiness of heartfelt loss, though he quickly turned his gaze back to his wife. He almost felt undeserving of such beauty, that she would look upon him, kiss him, without fear or scorn.
Tonks smiled, sensing what her husband was thinking, that he was not nearly enough for Dora, or for Teddy. "Oh, Rem…don't think about yourself like this. You doubt yourself too much, but you are such a kind and beautiful soul. You're a wonderful husband and father, Remus. I only wish that you could see it for yourself as I do. As Ollie and Norah do. As your father, and all our friends do. I promise…things will get better. The world isn't split into good people and bad. We've all got a little bit of both inside us, but it's up to us to keep these feelings at bay. You, though. I know you, my love. Your heart is pure." Tonks smiled.
Her soft, pink lips stretched into a smile, but it didn't quite reach her pale gray orbs. Lupin knew all too well what she was thinking. If he would lash out in anger again, try to get her to leave. Her gray eyes were lit with such sadness, he almost couldn't bear it, and the forced expression of the contrary on her mouth would have looked comical to him if it did not make his heart feel weighted, heavy.
For just a moment, as Remus stared at his wife, almost certain that her expression mirrored his again. It broke his heart. He didn't want her to leave him alone, she had saved him from his solitude. He did not want to turn into just another random memory of a faceless person that floated in the back of her mind someday. Lupin did not want to be the smile that squeezed his wife's chest somewhere far away if she were to leave.
He didn't want her to go. He wanted her and her beautiful smile to stay, to be in love with him forever, so it was going to be up to him to make sure that Tonks knew that they were together, that he was not abandoning his wife and child, and that he never would.
She smiled. "Love me, Remus?" she whispered, scooting closer to him on the bench to close off the gap of space between them, and leaning in to kiss his warm lips. He grinned into their kiss, one of his hands drifting towards the back of her skull, pressing into her hair softly, the other resting on her waist.
"Always."
Only one more chapter is left! :( I can't believe it's finally coming to an end, but I hope I've done their story justice so far! Stay tuned for the epilogue! :)
