MERRY CHRISTMAS !

[a/n0]From last time for those who didn't know Beetlejuice (1988) - Alec Baldwin Geena Davis Michael Keaton Winona Ryder "Recently dead couple object to new owners of their home, call in bio-exorcist" And yes, it was the Maitlands who did the DayO gag in it.

brain bleach? Too funny... Unhinged? A fair description of BJ!

[a/n]Another from the 'Harry with a spine' theme

Harry Does Different CCCLXIX

My Godfather

Two-and-a-half of The Golden Trio were strolling through Hogsmeade. The witch commented lightly "There's Madam Rosmerta, Ron fancies her."

"Do not!" complained the redhead wizard, his ears pink.

Their invisible companion could be heard to giggle.

"Minister, just when are you going to get rid of these foul things!" the proprietress complained "Possibly getting your soul sucked really prevents a person getting about. Bad for business."

Harry of course, recognized the man who'd brushed over the minor matter of blowing up Aunt Marge, he said "Bad business all around Rosmerta. The Ministry must act, though. Black is a danger, especially to the Potter boy." He walked into the bar.

"Harry stop!" yelled Hermione as footsteps appeared in the snow, moving vey quickly. The pair were stopped by Shrunken Head Security.

Rosmerta led the Minister for Magic through her establishment, unaware of the invisible party-crasher, opened a door and waved him through, then complained "Now tell me what this is all about!"

"Years ago, you might remember James Potter and his friends?" it was then Harry realized Head of House was in the room, he shrunk further into a corner. She went on "One of them was Sirius Black…thick as thieves… and he told You-Know-Who where they were."

Fudge scratched his chin thoughtfully "Who was that other one? Paul something?"

"You know perfectly well." She sat on a rather threadbare couch "Fat lump of a boy Peter Pettigrew. Followed them around like a pygmy puff. One or the other, you'd find him, but Black killed him."

The Minister poured himself a drink from a bottle, Harry assumed it alcohol "Black was vicious! He didn't kill him! He destroyed him! All they found was a finger! A FINGER!"

"Black may not have killed Lily and James, but he's the reason they're dead." McGonagall's revelation staggered the wizard under his cloak, but that was barely half the story "But that's not the worst of it. Sirius Black was, and remains to this day, Harry Potter's Godfather."

Harry's pulse about tripled, he instantly broke out in a cold sweat, he had to get out of there. But he stumbled in his effort to back away.

"What! Who's there!?" all three adults rasped and whipped out their wands. McGonagall went on "I saw the table move. No sense hiding. Invisibility Cloak no doubt, well I have a spell for that."

Harry felt panicked but then something changed, he shrugged off his concealment "What! And you lot don't think I needed to know that? Tha'hell!"

"Mr. Potter! Exactly what are you even doing in this town?" growled Minerva angrily "You specifically were told to remain in Hogwarts as you did not have the permi- -"

He cut her scolding off "My aunt is never going to anyway, so what's it matter? Besides, looks to me the only reason for keeping me from Hogsmeade is so you lot can talk behind my back. What else don't I know?"

"You'll not take that tone with me Mr. Potter!" she was scandalized "And the Minister as well!"

Harry's blood was up "You'll not decide what I need to know about MY LIFE! Now keep talking while I figure out what questions I need to ask. Well? I'm waiting!"

"I rather oppose the notion of Dumbledore's secret-keeping policy, Minerva." Offered Fudge, the politician saw here a golden opportunity "I'll start with the basics that are public, your parents were ardent opponents of You-Know-Who."

The boy held up a hand "Beg pardon, sir. First thing, what's with that? Everyone flinches at the word, and a madeup one at that."

"Why, whatever do you mean, my boy?" wondered Fudge "You've just said you are quite uninformed."

Harry pulled out his wand and asked "If I may?" to the curious nods, he spoke while drawing red letters in the air TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE "During Second Year I had a chat with the 50-year old ghost of a then Head-Boy. Right before …that is… he set a 60-foot snake on me. No denying he was smart, and rather good with Jumbles." Another wave of his wand resorted the red lettering to I AM LORD VOLDEMORT

"NYAH!" the Minister for Magic jumped from his seat. Madam Rosmerta squeaked in alarm. McGonagall had a more subdued but still worried reaction. "Who was this Riddle?"

The Professor explained "I was at Hogwarts then. During my younger years Riddle was Head Boy. I hardly had any interaction with him. That said, I had little reason to connect the rather charismatic boy with You-Know-Who."

"And your boss doesn't like sharing potentially useful information." Said Fudge rather caustically, he disregarded her agitation at the criticism and addressed Harry "Back to the narrative, your parents scored a number of victories over him, or his agenda, and at some point he decided they needed to be eliminated. The exact details are unknown, but on Halloween 1981 thanks to information provided by Sirius Black, he went to the safe house they …and you… were hiding. The house was a disaster, obviously a tremendous fight. Aurors investigating reported awesome magic was used. All we knew at the time was the Potters had been slain, you …Harry… had survived and were spirited off to a happy life."

To which the boy snorted "Yeah right. If you consider elves happy. Whose brilliant idea was it to drop me off on the doorstep of my magic-hating muggle relatives?"

"That is what the whole world was told by Albus Dumbledore." The Minister hid a considerable gloat behind a political face.

In spite of all the magic in the air, Harry's anger caused a window to crack and fall to the street below "Lying bastard!"

"Really Mr. Potter!" exclaimed Professor McGonagall "Such disrespect to Headma- - -"

Eyes flashing he countered "Were you there? Great friend of Mum and Dad? You ever meet Petunia? Never mind her lard-ass husband!"

"Language!" she snapped "However, you … I recommend … after some detentions … you spend time with Professor Lupin. He if anyone, could offer some details. No one AVAILABLE could tell you more. Now get yourself back to school poste haste."

He rolled his eyes "Great another fair-weather friend. No wonder my parents died! They had no one they could count on!"

"Harry, my boy, I will gladly put the full resources of my office into finding any answers to even questions you haven't yet thought of." Fudge offered, eager to please, and to take influence from an opponent.

The teen smiled at the Minister "Thank you sir, I'll certainly write you." Then he looked at his Head "Professor, since I only did something my aunt wouldn't care about anyway, I think I'll pass."

"There is the matter of listening in on conversations - -" McGonagall began

Harry threw open the door snorted "- -about me" at the adults, and walked out. On seeing his friends, wondered, loudly "Not sure who I want to strangle more! Sirius Black or Albus Dumbledore!"