Confessional
Drakken felt like he was about to wake up from a dream he'd long since thought had been locked away. They'd scarcely moved from their spot a little ways from the door since their brief moment of, he assumed, both trying to read the other's thoughts. Their lips were no longer driven by some primal hunger Shego had initiated, their movements more slow and deliberate. Even though Shego's soft lips on his, her nails pressing through fabric on his back, and the smell and feel of her pressed against him felt real...every time their lips parted he swore he was about to wake up sitting outside on the patio and staring in the direction she'd flown off in earlier.
What had she been saying...
Drakken ignored his mind, attempting to wake him no doubt. He kissed her lips a little harder as his thoughts tried to kill whatever moment they might be having. There was a twisting in his stomach that if he pulled away and this wasn't a dream...he would say something to remind Shego she had been about to say goodbye. His tightened grip earned a slight hum from Shego that vibrated his lip.
Drakken didn't know if it was the hum from her lips or the feel of Shego's fingers sliding up his back under the fabric of his shirt that caused his legs to buckle, from fatigue or from the position and slight shock... But the reason didn't matter as much as the action of their doing so.
He yelped as he fell back and completely missed the bed right behind him, sliding to the floor. Shego, whom he'd not let go of and who had not registered the sudden movement, hit sharply against him, both letting out a pained groan as her head smacked into his jaw. His hand removed itself from around her waist to rub his jaw as she sat up slightly.
"A little weak in the knees there, Doc?" snorted Shego. Drakken glanced at her hand on her head, her flushed face, and the nervous look in her eyes. "I mean, a bit dramatic."
Drakken felt a nervous rush pass through him and his face felt hot as he looked at Shego. Before he could say anything, Shego had pulled away from him and sat back on her haunches, fiddling with her hair. He felt his stomach sink as she stood and he made to sit up. He didn't know what to say as he felt the moment had ended.
Of course I would end it...
He glared down at the ground, waiting for another comment from Shego about leaving. His embarrassing stumble had most likely reminded her of the speech he'd not been listening to... And the smile they'd shared as they looked at each other briefly...he began to chalk up to a momentary lapse in judgment she was now aware of.
He saw Shego's movement and a surge of panic ran through him as he finally looked up to see her looking at him with her hand outstretched to help him up. Her mouth opened to begin talking.
They both spoke at the same time.
"Don't go—"
"Have you eaten—"
They stared at each other and Drakken watched Shego's hand fall away and a look of agitation spread across her face as she looked away from him.
"Is that why you kissed me?" She spoke softer than he thought he'd ever heard her speak. "Just to appease me?"
Drakken pulled himself up off the floor, attempting to gauge a proper response to her words. Her eyes were narrowed but not at him. The memory of moments ago and her searching eyes and smile came back to him.
"So, that was just...what...a stalling kiss because you thought I was leaving then?" Her brow furrowed but her eyes didn't look at his. Her arms wrapped around herself, and it clicked.
Drakken moved his arms frantically and made noises as he tried to find the words he needed to un-dig the hole he'd begun to bury himself in.
"No!" he blurted out and her eyes looked at his. "I... I kissed you because I...well yes, I thought you were leaving."
Her eyes narrowed.
"B-But...because I wanted to...so you knew that...in case that..." Drakken was watching Shego's expression shift in different ways. "Ngn! Shego I...you...me. That kiss has been... I've wanted to kiss you."
He felt the migraine slipping in as he struggled to find the words. Shego's furrowed brow was beginning to smooth as she tilted her head at him. His mind was a spinning wheel of things to say, things he should have not said...the fact he wanted to run and hide in his lab and focus on things that he only struggled to take apart and build...and didn't have to articulate.
Shego remained silent and Drakken felt his anxious nerves fade into annoyance at her silence. A snide comment would have been more welcoming than her unreadable expression. Drakken felt a sudden need to defend himself but instead the ghost tingle of arms around his neck made him blurt out words without thinking about them.
"You kissed me back," he sputtered. Shego's lips curved upwards and she shook her head. "Uh, yes you did," he continued. "I was...we were just...we were both clearly just engaged in a kissing activity for several minutes."
Her hand slid into his as he tried to continue his words... They fell silent as she began pulling him out of his room.
"As I said before you decided to cut me off..." Shego had a soft smile on her lips that made his chest pound, "we need to talk."
Shego's mind was racing as she spiraled pasta onto her fork. The only light was the one hanging above the two of them over the table as darkness had engulfed the lair from the darkened evening. Her prior elation from Drakken kissing her had worked itself into a ball of nerves in her stomach. Nerves because of how it had ended, the conversation she had rehearsed fading away, and the fact that as they ate dinner in silence she wanted to go back to his arms wrapped around her. She swallowed as she looked at him as he spun his fork slowly.
They both began speaking at the same moment.
"So—"
"I—"
Shego couldn't help but smirk as Drakken looked at her, a slight smirk on his own lips. She could see the nerves running across his whole body. Despite the cool air of the lair, he was sweating slightly. She hadn't even seen him take a bite of food. The remaining nerves of her own melted away and she let out a slow sigh.
"So... How long have your feelings been not platonic?" Shego's hand tightened on her fork as Drakken shrugged.
"Ahem...uh...a while," he muttered. He looked at her and nodded.
Shego leaned on her elbow and felt bolder.
"Clarify, 'a while.'"
Drakken raised his brow.
"I...well," his eyes narrowed, "what about you?"
Shego shrugged.
"A while." She watched as his nerves faded to annoyance before he rolled his eyes and took a bite of food. She continued. "Before November."
She took a bite of her own food. Drakken sat straighter and she watched him look around in thought before he spoke.
"So that... The kiss then," Drakken tilted his head at her, "wasn't...a cruel joke."
It was Shego's turn to look away at her plate.
"I'm assuming your change was after that...since you looked so relieved when I said it was?" she responded. Drakken let out a loud laugh and Shego looked up at him. "What?"
"Relieved?" He looked less amused than his laugh indicated. "I had been about to make a move before you said that."
"Pfft! You were gonna what?" scoffed Shego. "Yeah..."
Shego trailed off as she felt the tingle on her cheeks at the thought of how Drakken had pulled her into a kiss upstairs. She flushed and looked back at him.
"Well then...since when—"
"You mean apart from the pathetic crush at the beginning of our working relationship?" he asked. Shego tilted her head and his eyes shot open. "You didn't... Oh well...that's...I... It's been some time. Ohm... A few years."
Shego's thoughts fell silent as she processed Drakken's words, a few images suddenly fluttering to mind... One in particular of sitting on a beach after bowling...and the way he'd shuffled off after she'd described them dating as being a horrible idea. She watched Drakken take another slow bite of food, and the searching for misread signs faded. She was about to make a lighthearted comment but Drakken put down his fork.
"Were you...flirting with me when I was trying to build my Sound Amplification Disruptor?" Drakken looked slightly disturbed. "Oh."
Shego would have noted more of his cringe-like expression if she wasn't suddenly confused herself. She'd thought he'd known she was flirting and had been trying to make it clear he was uninterested by calling her a bother and a pest. She knew she would have to think back over a lot of missed signals, but her focus fell back to Drakken. His nerves looked to have subsided through whatever internal monologue he was having and he had a smile on his face bordering between amusement and smugness. She rolled her eyes.
"Something you want to share over there?" asked Shego. Drakken schooled his face and shrugged. "You know you could have flirted, too."
He looked wide-eyed for a second before snorting.
"I did... Quite a few times before I managed to collect myself." It was his turn for an eye-roll. "But thank you for noticing."
"Well, I'd think someone would have noticed being flirted with and took it as an opening," grumbled Shego.
Drakken bit his lip and simply took another bite of food. She wanted to conclude she had made a point and won the small debate, but the flint in his eyes made her wonder what he might be avoiding as a topic. She dismissed it as her own mind trying to find faults in case she needed to put her guard up. There was a sudden wave of nerves that flooded back to her as she finished her plate. They'd both stepped over that safe line they'd clearly been coveting for a long time. She felt her brows furrow and wondered how many times they could have been cuddled up watching movies or—
"Shego?" Drakken had been talking to her. She looked over. "I ohm...did you want more?"
She knew that's not what he had been saying but shook her head anyway. He took the plates and she watched him walk off to the kitchen.
Drakken felt the wide grin hit his face the moment he'd stepped over the threshold into the kitchen, only faltering at the fact he'd almost mocked Shego's flirting...which in retrospect...he had a right to. He'd mused that it had been over the top flirting like she had done when she had been under the influence of the Mood-U-Lator...but he had only thought the more recent incidents had been to annoy him with her dramatics... It hadn't dawned on him that Shego...just didn't know how to flirt.
Probably don't say that...
He thought back to them watching movies after Thanksgiving with his family, and the amped up memory of his plans to kiss her if she hadn't just played it off as a joke. He wondered if there would have been any difference in the last eight months if he'd just initiated it without wanting clarification. He halted his musings as his imagination began taking a less than modest turn.
"Drakken."
He dropped the dishes with a crash in the sink as he spun around.
"Yes!"
Shego raised a confused brow at him before she snorted and finished walking into the kitchen.
"Why so jumpy?" Her question revealed a hint of mischief in her voice. "What were you thinking?"
"I uh," Drakken felt his face grow a little warm as she got closer to him while his back hit the corner of the cabinet. "Well this is...familiar."
He snorted as Shego closed the distance.
"How about I redeem that kiss?" she said, her mischievous look not fading as her hand grabbed the collar of his shirt.
"Why do you smell like mints?" asked Drakken as he became self-conscious of the Italian food he had just eaten.
"You act like you don't eat mints all the time," she snorted. "Only been in the lair a short time and there's some in every room."
"Do you want to watch a movie?" asked Drakken quickly, mentally calculating where those mints might be.
"I'm not opposed to a movie night," she responded. "It's been a while since you forced me to watch some sappy—"
"Yes, good...you pick out the movie then." Drakken gave a nervous chuckle as he pulled her hand off his shirt. "I'll meet you there."
Drakken returned to the living room a minute later to see Shego kicked back on the couch, tossing the remote in her hands and staring at the screen. He recognized the film playing as one that Shego has argued against watching many times prior.
"The Beach Cabin?" asked Drakken as he sat down. "Thought you said you didn't like this movie."
Shego moved her feet for him to sit next to her and rolled her eyes.
"Well, you'll like it," she shrugged.
Drakken watched her stiffened shoulders as she hit play and leaned against the couch arm. He felt like he'd missed something as she seemed slightly distant than just minutes before. He tried to recall if he had said or done anything that had changed Shego's mood. He leaned back against the couch and played over their conversation as they'd eaten, wondering if maybe he'd unintentionally cut her off. When she'd come in the kitchen she'd simply made moves to kiss him...
"Shego. I'm confused," sighed Drakken. He watched Shego raise a brow at him.
"If the opening scene is confusing, well buckle up, because this movie is going to send you reeling," smirked Shego as she nudged him.
"No... Well a little...but... Did I say or do something?" asked Drakken. Shego shrugged.
"You said you wanted to watch a movie," she gestured to the screen.
"Yes, but..." he trailed off, "I thought...and the kitchen—"
Shego had moved with her normal grace and speed such that he'd barely seen movement. Only when her lips found his did he register being pulled against her. And then the feel of her lips moving against his, her hand on the side of his face as the other slid around his neck...his own arm wrapping tightly around her as the other rested on her waist... He was back in that dream feeling again. In the back of his head, he wondered if there was more they should be talking about...but he couldn't think of anything.
His thoughts went completely blank as Shego's leg slid over his so his legs were her support as she pulled closer to him. The tickler of her breath against his as the kiss deepened was turning his fear of this being a dream even more terrifying. He'd had fantasies similar to this in their early years of working together...which he'd squashed or ended. Normally there were a few explosions beforehand as it often took place after him taking over the world.
November.
That thought came back in his head as his stomach knotted at his thoughts.
It's not...my achievements that made her interested in me? But— She said November...
Her lips moved along his jaw to his neck. He welcomed the feeling as his mind was pulling out the questions he'd not been able to think of moments prior. He felt a wave of frustration as they barreled in his head instead of letting him simply enjoy the moment he was having. The teeth ghosting to tug at his earlobe pulled him back again. He let out a hum of relief as his hands roamed hesitantly along her curves.
November.
The thought was back and with it the image of her standing over him in a navy blue silk nightgown, her teasing him to join her in his childhood bed. His eyes shot open as reality finally sunk in that this was not fantasy or dream and this was easily headed down a path that should be discussed with the questions he'd been gathering.
How do I find ways to ruin this—
"Shego..." His voice sounded hoarse. The hum from her lips on the crook of his neck made him want to stay silent. "That nightgown you wore."
The lips movement on his neck stopped.
"Yes?" Her breath on his neck sent goosebumps down his spine.
Drakken thought of her holding the pillow away from him, her arm pulling him rather than pushing him that night. He felt nerves spreading through him yet again and swallowed hard.
"I read that evening wrong, didn't I?" He felt idiotic as he asked it aloud.
Shego didn't respond and he felt her nails dig into his neck and shoulder.
"I think we both read a lot of things...wrong," was her eventual response. She pulled away slowly to look him in the eyes.
Drakken wondered if the tint to her face was simply from their accelerated kissing or if she was simply blushing. Her voice held a slight tension as she continued.
"We could...fully redeem that night." Her words were causing a war inside his body. "I do still have that nightgown."
Drakken didn't know how to respond to this. He felt his stomach twisting and turning in some form of internal panic while his chest tightened as her fingers still ghosted up and down the side of his neck. He could feel his excitement at the prospect, trying to fight the nerves and thoughts rushing through him in hopes of winning the battle. For once his eyes didn't tear away from Shego's. Her brilliant green orbs were searching his... The nervous smirk on her lips—
Nervous?
Drakken noted her expression completely now. She was nervous waiting for his response. It did nothing to stop his thoughts...because trying to figure out what was making her nervous was even more concerning.
Does she want me to say yes? What if she wants me to say no? Is this a test? Did I mess this up by asking?
He didn't have a chance to respond as Shego's eyes shot open and her hand retreated from his neck, accompanied by a vine delicately wrapped around her wrist. Drakken was about to yell at Flower and apologize when his already messy thoughts stilled as he looked at the plant attached to him.
"Flower," he whispered.
"Okay I'm getting used to it, but kind of a third wheel right now." Shego shook the vine off her wrist.
Drakken slid Shego off his lap, perhaps a bit more hastily than he intended as his hand grasped the vine in thought.
"Hey—" Shego's annoyance faded. "What?"
"I shouldn't have kissed you." He felt panic coursing through him.
"Are you serious right now?" He could hear the anger blending with other emotions without looking at her.
"No. I mean... I don't... Flower and the mutation." He felt his chest pounding as he looked at her with wide eyes. "I don't know the effects... What if— I never ran any tests."
Drakken realized the vine that seemingly chose to hide as he processed all he had not done involving his mutation. He hadn't even tested his saliva let alone blood tests. What if there was some toxicity he wasn't aware of that would make Shego ill? He was more than certain that the spinal attachment acted on his subconscious which meant it ran through his nervous system and into his cranial nerves to do so. He looked at his hands and wondered where all of it began and ended. The plant had to live, which meant it thrived off his body for food, light, and water.
A tug on his arm pulled his focus back to Shego.
"What, so you haven't run any tests on yourself?" Shego's eyes narrowed. "Nothing?"
"It slipped my mind with the choice to step back from villainy...then the job offers...then calls, conferences... Then I was worried," Drakken looked at Shego for a second, "about other things."
"You let it slip your mind?" She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "There is a parasitic plant fused with you and you haven't run a single test?"
"Well..." Drakken began thinking. Shego was looking at him expectantly. "No."
Drakken could see the anger flash across her features but it was eclipsed by a softer rare look that was not helping his thoughts. She leaned towards him and gave him a soft kiss that made his breath hitch. He wanted nothing more than to escalate the kiss again as her hand rested on his chest. He felt his hands find her waist again but before he could pull away, she did.
"First thing in the morning...you need to focus on that," said Shego. Drakken opened his mouth to bring up his projects and conferences. "No. The other things can wait. You need to make sure you don't end up becoming that potted plant."
Drakken was about to snort and make a crack about how he seriously doubted that but instead he fed into it.
"Why? Don't want to remember to water me?" he spoke. Shego's eyes were fixed. "I can start now."
Shego shook her head.
"No. Do it in the morning," she sighed as she lay on the couch and resumed the movie. "It's movie night."
"But what if—"
"Starting now or in the morning changes nothing... Just...let's watch the movie," said Shego sternly.
Drakken nodded and leaned back against the couch, making mental notes on blood tests and cell testing that would need to start later. He might wait until Shego fell asleep or the movie ended and then sneak off to the lab. He felt Shego's fingers reach for his hand from where she lay. He smiled and moved his hand to hold hers. He nearly yelped as he was yanked towards her.
"Stop overthinking and planning to sneak off to the lab," smirked Shego as she pulled his arm around her. "Just watch the movie."
Drakken shifted so he was lying behind her on the couch as she secured his arm under her own. The moment he felt his head settle between the couch arm and the pillow, Shego nestled back against him. He went back to mentally running tests he'd been avoiding, the samples he would need to extract from the plants and remaining chemicals he had stored in the lab. He felt the tingle in his spine again but Flower didn't make an appearance. Drakken's hand went to below his chin, expecting petals to appear despite it being weeks since they had. He found he was suddenly worried about what else was going on inside him he was unaware of.
"Drakken."
He went to look at the back of Shego's head but she had shifted to angle herself towards him and make eye contact. She was giving him a look he knew was telling him to stop thinking without even saying a word. Drakken opened his mouth to tell her he was still watching the movie but her hand gripped at his arm and gave a slight tug to pull him closer to her as she sat up slightly.
Drakken followed her movement to kiss her as her face leaned towards his. It was barely a ghost of lips against lips before Shego whispered.
"In the morning." It was a demand rather than a suggestion.
Drakken was about to argue, but it fell into silence as Shego turned to face him to nestle against his chest, her head resting under his chin as her one arm curled up between them and the other slid under his arm. Drakken heard her let out a comforted sigh as his arms finished encircling her as they lay there. So many emotions and thoughts ran through his head as the movie softly played, the sound of the night tide outside, the smell of Shego's hair tickling his senses... He felt the crawl up his spine again but he didn't pay it much attention as his fingers slowly brushed through Shego's hair and her breathing seemed to slow. He could almost feel sleep creeping through him as he embraced the calming comfort.
In the morning.
Blooming This Direction!
