Clarifications
Drakken stared blankly at Shego, his smile fading and confusion taking over. Her statement of needing to talk didn't strike of anything positive or negative. The smile on her face as she'd kissed him followed by the serious expression she now wore were placing him in a limbo of emotions. He watched as her hands fell from where they had rested on his arms as she pulled away. When her arms crossed loosely he tried to gauge if he'd done something, or if something had occurred.
He'd hoped when he'd seen the hover car land from where he'd been slumped in boredom watching reruns that perhaps the dinner text had appealed to her more than a weekend out... Suddenly he wondered if he'd crossed a line or pushed too far like he was afraid of. He nodded and waited for whatever speech was about to be given to him.
"What are we?" she asked cautiously.
Drakken was no less confused.
"Is this the villains conversation... I thought we agreed on neutral," he replied. His eyes shot open. "But if tonight made you want to go back to villainy...I won't hold you back—"
"No," sighed Shego. Drakken watched her roll her eyes. "That's not what I'm asking... But we should circle back to that later because there may have been an incident."
Drakken raised a brow.
"What kind of incident?" asked Drakken. He followed Shego as she walked into the lair. "You didn't call for bail money— Did you break out of a prison somewhere?"
"No... More a moral incident," she grumbled as she flopped on the couch and turned off the television. "I mean...between us. You and I..."
Drakken watched her trail off as an expression of reluctance spread across her face, her fingers fidgeting with her hair as she looked at the coffee table. He let her words sink in and his confusion shifted to concern. Had she met someone? Had he been too pushy? He felt his throat become very dry as he remained standing at the end of the couch. Her eyes looked at his finally as the air was filled with only silence.
"I...ohm...did I do something?" he asked cautiously. Shego's brow furrowed. "Or not do something?"
"No... Yes." She took a deep inhale as she spoke. "What is our relationship? Are we a couple? Are we just...the same as before... What do you see us as?"
She'd spoken slowly and firmly... This did nothing to calm Drakken's nerves. The sinking feeling in his gut finally came. He began picking her questions apart. He had overstepped and asked too much... She was trying to sound rational and calm before telling him that if he wanted something akin to a girlfriend—which he had brazenly not said because of this very possible conversation—that she was not it. He sputtered as he responded.
"What do you want us to be?" He tried to smile but he knew he looked pathetic.
Shego narrowed her eyes.
"I asked you to clarify what you want... Answer my question," she huffed. "Do you want me to be your girlfriend? Your partner? Assistant or side-kick? Do you just want me around?"
"Yes," Drakken shrugged. "Whichever you prefer—"
"Not yes or no," growled Shego. Her fidgeting had stopped and it seemed her anger was gaining. "When you kissed me...where did you want this to go? Or did you just do it spur of the moment so I wouldn't leave or something."
Drakken thought for a moment. He'd done that very thing... The fact Shego had in fact reciprocated had been a shocking surprise. Though it seemed the luster of it was fading and whatever pity or emotion she had been feeling...was gone. He narrowed his brow in thought... Perhaps her claimed feelings for him from November had been a novelty heightened by his mutation and the abduction... Now it had settled and his mutation was stable... A weekend out had worn it off.
Probably met some dead-brained beach gorilla...
He felt like he'd prepared for this...in his thoughts from earlier... He should stalk off and say something snide about if the novelty was gone he was fine... But instead...he felt frustrated and...a strange disconnect he hadn't felt since when she'd betrayed him... He looked up and blinked... Shego was headed towards the hallway.
"Shego where are you—"
"Listen, if you have to think about the answer," she snapped, "then forget it."
"I don't know what you want me to say," he snapped back, her aggression feeding his own swirling emotions. "I don't even know why you're upset."
"I'm upset because this blue idiot can't answer a simple question," snapped Shego. "If any other woman asked you that question...what would you say? But no you have to go on an internal journey to answer."
Drakken followed her into the hall further as she headed to the stairs. He knew he would say the wrong thing no matter what, but he'd yet to say it and she was already angry? Why did she want him to make a fool of himself? Had he done something that made her want to inflict taunting on him... Nothing came to mind...yet she clearly wanted an answer... He was in fact analyzing every angle of his response, because the wrong one...would cause more trouble than already was happening.
"Ngn...because...because it is you!" growled Drakken. Shego narrowed her eyes. "If you were anyone else I wouldn't...I wouldn't—"
"Wouldn't what?" snapped Shego. "Wouldn't bother pretending to be interested or something? Did you just exaggerate feelings you claimed you had?"
Drakken stood up straight in more confusion than before. This conversation was going in directions even he couldn't follow. Did she think he'd what...pretended to want to be with her? None of it made sense to him. Had she assumed he'd only kissed her as a distraction? He could feel a headache slowly starting as he tried to follow her logic. Shego was...Shego—was headed up the stairs.
"Is... Is that what you think?" His voice was barely a whisper. "That I only kissed you to...distract you?"
"It's crossed my mind... You've barely acted like anything happened at all since Mego left," she scoffed. "I mean, you get distracted and forget stuff... That's normal... And I excused it even... But then before I left, you acted like you couldn't wait for me to leave."
Drakken's eyes flared and he felt frustration find its way back, her casual manners and distances over the last two weeks flooding in... He scoffed.
"You're the one who flew out of here without saying a word," he countered. "Like you couldn't wait to put distance between us and go...gallivanting off to flirt with beach gorillas for drinks."
"I was trying to see if you cared...and you barely flinched... Like you just wanted me to stop pestering you." She balled her fists, growling this time. "So what is it... Just casual...a ploy? Just let me know where we stand and what you want!"
"How about some...clearance of what's going on right now?" He knew he was flailing and he'd said the wrong word.
"Do you mean clarification?" she sighed. "Because that would be very nice... Because if you want to just forget all of this and stop pretending—"
"Pretend what?" Drakken heard the whine. He focused his voice to sound less needy and more firm. "Shego...if you misinterpreted your interest in me...fine... Just say it... But don't use it to find a new mock window."
"I am very clear of how I feel... You're the one who only wants me around when it's convenient for you. Pickle jars...laser adjustment...tedious thefts... Someone to listen to you rant... A distraction." She was listing a lot of things with ease. "To hold things, to fight things... Dinners with your family...company going out—"
"You're serious?" asked Drakken. Shego crossed her arms, and he blinked. "You are."
"Doy," she scoffed. "Am I wrong?"
"Yes," snorted Drakken. "First off, the pickle jar only happened...three times, and only once did I have to track you down. Which I told you... I thought you were playing a mean joke like we occasionally do on each other. May I remind you...you didn't even ask for my help with any of that. Laser adjustments and distractions...and assistance was part of your job... So that one...yes, was a need... So was holding things and fighting."
"So you just need me around?" She tossed her hands in defeat. "Well then say that... You want me to stick around as your assistant? You don't need to fabricate feelings to do that."
Drakken felt an overwhelming flood of frustration as he sputtered words that even he couldn't line up. He watched Shego look suddenly distressed...as she often did when his words suddenly...weren't words. She moved towards him and stopped his hands from flailing. It took a second for him to silence his thoughts from producing the jumbled rambling. It was clear Shego was not understanding what he wanted to convey and was afraid of being mocked for conveying.
"I... I want," he gestured between the two of them, "if that's what you do too?"
"A partnership?" she sighed.
"No. Us... You...me...dinners and stuff." He was not making the situation any better. He took a deep breath. "I don't want you to go out and flirt for drinks... But if you want to...fine... I don't like it—"
She covered his mouth and he growled in annoyance.
"Now is this meaning working weekends in the lab or—" Drakken covered her mouth this time and took her hand away from his.
"No. I mean... I could use the help— Ow." Shego bit his hand sharply.
"Last time," she warned. Drakken looked away.
"...Going steady?" He hesitated on the words.
She blinked and Drakken watched her lip twitch. He glared...suddenly very concerned this had been some elaborate mocking like he feared. Especially as her eyes began to water and he saw her shake with silenced laughter. If she hadn't been blocking the stairs he would have been the one to storm off then.
"You know if this is just to mock and humiliate me, this is low even for you," snapped Drakken. Shego burst into fits of laughter. "This isn't even funny-mean... This is a level of cruel that—"
"Who says going steady," she snorted. "Girlfriend, date, romantic interest, significant other... Those are words that are used. I just had a flashback to eighties rom-coms."
"Ngh! You knew what I meant so can you can the mockery?" he hissed. "I've had quite enough of whatever power play this night's turned into—"
She yanked him into a kiss before he could finish his words which turned into a grumble against her lips. He wanted nothing more than to reciprocate but he was more confused than when the argument had started. His hands found her shoulders and he pulled her away from him, trying to read her expression and posture.
"Is this more mock content?" he asked suspiciously.
"Pfft, I have plenty of mock content, I don't need more," she sighed. "I just wanted clarification of what we are."
"...So... So I just had to tell you this, and—"
"We'd probably be snuggled up on the couch without the emotional roller coaster you felt the need to give us," snorted Shego as she pushed past him and headed towards the kitchen.
"So...to be clear...we're," Drakken gestured between them, "you and I are—"
"Going steady," she mimicked him as she turned on the kitchen light. "Can't say girlfriend or dating like a normal human being..."
He listened to her trail off and let it sink in slowly, his worries and concerns from earlier almost mocking him on their own. Drakken was muddling over this when something smacked him in the face. He glared as Flower gestured towards the kitchen and then vanished. Drakken rolled his eyes and tried to regain any composure he'd had as he walked in to where Shego was making a sandwich.
"So uh...is that conversation over?" he asked cautiously. Shego shrugged, and he thought for a moment. "So how was your night?"
Shego stopped mid-bite and raised a brow.
"Well tonight I learned my boyfriend is more of an idiot than I thought." Drakken knew he should be insulted, but hearing her refer to him in a romantic sense trumped that. "You?"
"I uh...found out," he smirked as the words left his mouth, "my girlfriend is more needy than I thought."
"No you didn't," she smirked. "You knew very well...you're just on a new level."
"How many levels are there?" joked Drakken. Shego smirked as she bit her sandwich. "Shego?"
She shrugged and headed towards the living room with her sandwich. Drakken stood there, his mind still processing the last twenty minutes or so... But that would be something to dwell on later. He focused on the left-out food.
"Shego you left a mess—"
"You're still in there," she cut in as the television sound came back.
"You expect me to clean this up?" he whined.
"I expected a straight answer...didn't get one... You expected me to put things away..." She sounded amused.
Drakken glared as he started putting it away, though he was thankful for the mild distraction. He wasn't sure what to feel after that argument...though Shego seemed to have moved on from it quickly. He couldn't figure out some of the questions, still...trying to piece together where some of her concerns came from... Sure, he had in fact been over the top in the past... Okay sometimes that year even... And he could follow the idea of pretending as a good distraction tactic...if he'd known she'd had feelings for him... He'd gone to far more extremes...like mind control to keep her around, even.
He was very glad she hadn't brought that up.
Despite all that...the way she spoke, it seemed more likely she didn't see him capable of having feelings for her, and rather ulterior motives. He grabbed a large gallon of water from the fridge as he walked towards the living room. His mind was reeling at this new thought bubbling around in it. He'd spent years cultivating boundaries and trying to smother his feelings for her...and had always concluded he'd still let them slip... But Shego seemed to confirm the opposite. He stood behind the couch in thought and looked at the back of Shego's head. Her feet were kicked up on the couch, heels tossed aside...looking as if nothing had happened. Yet her expressions spun in his mind.
"Before you whine some more... I made you one too," sighed Shego as she held up her plate. "Is there anything even on?"
"Shego...what you said back by the stairs," he began.
"About using dated terms... Yeah I meant it. Not even people in nursing homes use that language anymore," she snorted. "Forty-one going on ninety I swear."
Drakken rolled his eyes.
"Just so you know, that was a common term even in the eighties—"
"In dated modern movies of the time." Shego looked at him. "What?"
"What you said... You doubted I had genuine feelings for you...? That I was embellishing them for your sake?" It was his turn to sit and turn off the television. "I'm not understanding how you would feel that way... Me using feelings as a tactic of mild manipulation...I can understand to a point if it wasn't you."
"Well at least we agree it is not above a strategy of yours," Shego interjected. Drakken nodded, and she continued. "Well...you kissing me was out of left field to begin with...so when you avoided everything but hand holding unless I initiated it—"
"Which you avoided I might add," Drakken cut in. "I didn't know what was assumed or not... That's why I suggested informing one's actions... And since your brother left...you've done and said nothing."
He watched Shego's brow raise and she looked away as if thinking. He continued.
"Which again is what led to the miscommunication...today." Drakken would have felt smug by how he won an ended argument but that was not the concern. "But that's...that's over... Now that I've finished my point on it... But it wasn't out of left wing."
"Field," corrected Shego. She held a sour look from his statement, but it faded. "You've ignored every advance I made on you and made it a point to express disinterest in me for years."
Drakken let out a loud, short laugh and had to stop himself. Her statement was ludicrous. He could count more incidents than he would like to recall of blatant failures in his aim to squash feelings he had for her—a rather horrible art he'd apparently mastered despite his concerns. Shego's raised brow made him realize his laugh had faded. He was simply staring at her in disbelief.
"I may have cracked down on hiding it this past year—" It was Shego's turn to laugh.
"Year?" She shook her head. "Wow. Just this year... Do you know how many times you've made it clear you had no interest in me?"
She suddenly looked embarrassed and she pulled her feet, which had been touching Drakken's knee, away as she continued.
"I mean, some times were probably for the best now that I think about it," she muttered.
"Like?" Drakken asked. His curiosity was in full swing as he tried to scour for any memory of a hint of interest he'd shown.
"Remember when we had our first villain party?" asked Shego. Drakken found the tint to her face fascinating as he nodded. "When a woman comes to a man's bedroom in a nightgown and claims she's cold...they don't usually sleep on the couch."
Drakken pulled out an old pushed-aside memory of being half asleep and Shego being at his door. It was a fuzzy one because of the evening leading up to it... He'd simply assumed...she was cold. He remembered then amid her claims that she hadn't been wearing a robe that she normally would have been wearing. The slow dawning realization made him suddenly very warm. He didn't know how to respond to this information.
"Wait...you...oh," he sputtered.
Shego snorted.
"I assumed it was either your normal obliviousness or you weren't interested... I just didn't think you were that dense." She shook her head. "I mean, I learned."
"If that's the case...what about when I won the bowling game? You made it a strong point to say what a terrible idea having interest in each other would be... You made that message very clear," he huffed.
"Oh no... It would have been a disaster... We were barely even friends," she nodded. "What about that ball we got the necklace from—"
"I gave you a million dollar necklace...and you tried to max out one of my cards—"
"I meant what you said beforehand... That you were immune to me or my charms in any way," she argued. Drakken cut in.
"It's called a lie," he spat. "I was also focused on our mutual friendship."
"You stared at my breasts," Shego interjected.
"Well now that's your fault entirely and is making my point thank you," blushed Drakken. He crossed his arms and flopped back against the couch. "Besides...again...I was focusing on not thinking about you in any way except platonic."
"You did a good job," she mused. "I mean...if anything had transpired...then what?"
"Point made," said Drakken. He thought harder. "November? What changed?"
He watched Shego shrug.
"When did you realize you were actually interested in me?" asked Shego. Drakken didn't hesitate.
"Chinese food on the old lair balcony. One in the morning, you were ranting about some goon who you once had dinner with who thought your skin was makeup and kept trying to wipe it off. I had finished telling you about my date that stole my car when I was starting in the villain circuit. You'd started taking from my wine float," Drakken said calmly. "Though admittedly it was a very unhealthy crush at best... And I may have...overstepped a lot...like mind control a lot."
"Oh... Was that the moment that you first thought about that then?" Shego's eyes shot open.
"No. That was when we were in my office and you lectured me about procrastinating...and I was like, 'You know, I really like her but she's so naggy,' and then you tried to leave... Mistakes were made," he grumbled and grabbed his sandwich. "Which we've avoided the topic of for three years... We should keep doing that."
"Naggy? Do you hear yourself whine?" scoffed Shego. "Sometimes it's like working with a big blue toddler."
"Nghn!" Drakken grumbled. "Well what about you?"
Shego rolled her eyes and scoffed.
"It was an annoying trickle of things... But I think it started when we were at the retreat... I just didn't notice until Thanksgiving at your mother's how...escalated it was." Shego was using words carefully which made Drakken lean closer.
"Escalated?" Drakken thought. "Shego...that nightgown—"
"We are not talking about that ever again," she cut it. "Because everyone in your family has probably heard about it and that's just a nightmare in itself... But I was talking about in the kitchen, before everyone decided to make the yearly tradition of party crashing happen before dinner."
"When you kissed me?"
"Nope. When I was hiding in a closet... Doy when I kissed you," snarked Shego. "So there... Now we've covered the fact we are both very good at misreading things... And apparently you only know how to go overboard or be completely oblivious."
It was silent between them, and Drakken wasn't sure if he'd upset Shego or not until he felt her head on his shoulder and she'd taken the sandwich he'd yet to actually eat. He rolled his eyes and let her take it. He was halfway through reaching for the remote when something occurred to him.
"Why did you plasma blast me?" asked Drakken. Shego pulled away with a raised brow.
"Which time? Because it was probably deserved or I wouldn't have done it," Shego said and looked up at him.
"New Year's... When I kissed you—"
"You said you didn't remember." She sat bolt upright. Drakken narrowed his eyes.
"So did you... I just assumed we were ignoring it," he said as casually as he could.
She snorted and leaned back on his shoulder.
"Kinda figured that's what we were doing." She grabbed the remote. "I actually hadn't meant to do it... You just ran off before I could stop you. That bimbo at the inn, Molly or whatever... She served me some rancid tequila... Thinking back it was probably some failed poisoning."
"Excuse me?" Drakken sat up and looked at her as she was forced to move. "What?"
"She was working with Devious Shark and company, remember?" Shego rolled her eyes. "Anyway... You left. I had to deal with idiocy... You played it off clearly. I went with it."
"Hmm." Drakken wanted to talk more about the topic of poisoning but chose to let it go for the moment. "In my defense... That hurt and I'd assumed I'd crossed a very fragile line."
"Well offense taken... I was enjoying my evening at that point," she scoffed. "The rest of the night was tending to a jail break and some emotional breakdowns."
"Well had I known..." grumbled Drakken. He reclaimed the remote and pushed power. Shego reached over and turned it off. "What?"
"What would you have done? Had you known?" Shego had turned her face to look at him. "Had I not had issues that night?"
Drakken shrugged.
"Kissed you longer I assume." Drakken's finger pressed the power again. Shego turned it off. "I—"
Shego's eyes were locked with his and the devious look in her eyes made him feel suddenly very warm. She tossed the remote on the coffee table and pulled away from him.
"You know... You're not always good with words," smirked Shego. "I think you should elaborate a different way on that interrupted kiss."
Drakken knew what she was implying but he smirked.
"I could get some paper and illustrate—" The couch pillow was shoved in his face.
"If you don't kiss me I'm going to bed—"
Drakken cut her threat off, though he knew it was still a murmur into his lips as he pulled her closer to him. The arguments and revelations of the evening melted away as her legs draped over his lap and his hands slid through her hair and onto her waist. There were no loud noises of people yelling and cheering like there had been that New Year's... No ill feelings nor concerns... There was always the danger of green flames...though he thought it unlikely as her one arm was firmly around his neck while the other slid sharp nails along his skull in a gentle manner. Neither of them were completely sure where lines or misunderstandings might fall... But for the moment, there was no need to clarify.
*Date Night ahead*
