Jasmin: Thanks you! Rufus is creepy and cute at the same time yes, which is why it's hard to hate him :P

Cloud-Gazer: Totally fine, though obviously unforgivable! No, just kidding, haha. Just glad you're still here with me! So many yesses from you in this chapter! Yay! Beast rips apart man YES hahaha. Ollie will never change :P I'm so happy that I still manage to keep him just the way he is. Super happy you liked this battle as well :D This chapter (hopefully) has a bit of a bonding. Don't fall asleep before reviewing, I need you XD


Chapter 229

Much to my relief, Ollie hadn't decided to head over to the Shinra building to enlist right away, but he didn't stop talking about how awesome the Turks really were on our way back to HQ, where Cloud and I had both parked our bikes. We were in one of the cars our enemies had left behind, and Cloud was sitting silently in the passenger seat beside me while I drove the car down the road. In the distance, the sun was already rising over the ocean, telling me this was the second time in a fairly short amount of time that I had pulled off an all-nighter.

Behind us in the back seat, Ollie yawned loudly, and ten seconds later he was out cold.

In the silence that followed, I couldn't help but think of Vincent again, and how we still hadn't managed to find him. The night's events had momentarily pushed him from my mind, and I remembered what Reno had told me last week; that he might not even want to be found. Thinking about Reno didn't make me feel any better, even though he'd been cute with me ever since I'd agreed to help him. So I let my mind travel back to Vincent again, whom at least didn't make my heart ache the way Reno did.

"Any progress with Shelke?" He'd told me that she would be finding a way to get a replica of the equipment she used before to find Vincent, but that had hardly been two days ago.

He shook his head while staring out the window. "Could take some time. I'm starting to think he might not want to be found." He used exactly the same words that had been in my head moments ago, only hearing him say it made it sound even worse.

I heaved a big sigh, feeling a little lost. "Reno thinks so too. But why would he do that, Cloud?" We were his friends, and he should know we'd worry about him.

Cloud didn't answer right away, but quietly stared out the window a little longer. "Aren't we the same?" he finally asked, still not looking at me.

I didn't have to wonder what he meant, I instantly knew he was right. All three of us were lone wolves who needed time alone, away from civilization. Cloud had vanished days on end last year, and I had a knack for locking myself away inside my mansion. It was one thing we had in common. But this wasn't the same, was it?

"Yeah," I frowned, not completely agreeing with his standpoint. "But you were having a hard time, and so was I. So we secluded ourselves." This time, he did look at me, and his face said it all. There was no need for him to say anything, and a single name popped up in my mind. "Lucretia," I breathed. The woman Vincent had loved and who's story had ended tragically. Facing Deepground and going back to Nibelheim had once again reminded him of her. I slowly stopped the car, having arrived at our destination. "I'm a terrible friend," I said more to myself than to Cloud, who was still watching me.

I should've been there for him when he was confronted with his past, instead I'd been too preoccupied with my own aching needs.

"Vincent isn't the kind of person to talk about things like that," Cloud's voice was stoic, yet it was reassuring to hear him say it. Since we were so much alike, we understood each other in ways that I imagined others didn't. It was something that I had realized only a short while ago. He was also right. None of us liked talking about things that bothered us, but now I recalled the time Vincent and I had traveled to Nibelheim together. We had talked then, and he had opened up a little. "Besides," Cloud added after a few seconds. "You didn't get the chance. He never came back. It's gonna be fine, Eden. Don't dilly-dally." He added that last part with a half-smile, the corner of his mouth curling faintly. "That's what Tifa always tells me." He opened the door and stepped out of the car. "Get some rest." With that, he shut the door and was gone.

For a moment, I watched him casually walk over to where our bikes were parked, seeing the slight strain in his shoulders, the only indication of his own fatigue. I had no idea how the mission he'd been on in Edeoheim had gone, but he'd clearly come to our aid as soon as he got back. We all needed a good long sleep, something Ollie had already started. After seeing Cloud drive off back towards Edge, I stared at the twilit sky for a moment longer, finally getting the chance to evaluate everything that had happened.

I'd had a busy day; first the fiasco with Jona (and for a moment I wondered whether he was still sleeping in the mud) and then the fairly nerve wrecking experience at the casino, followed by a very uncomfortable car ride and some nice torture. It wouldn't have been a party if we hadn't topped it off with a battle. I'd always liked to think of myself as being indifferent to certain situations and emotions, to not let something get to me the way it did to others, but as I let my memories of the evening flow, I felt the sudden urge to cry. When looking down at myself, I saw nothing but blood and dirt and bruises, and far too much skin. I'd been violated by more men in one evening than I had dated in my entire life, and the very thought disgusted me. The only touch that had been welcome, had been Reno's and I wished that he would now hold me the way he had done after we'd taken care of Wolf. The love I'd felt at that moment reminded me that I was missing out on something in my life.

I hoped that he would be okay and that Rude would be okay, but on the long run, I expected nothing less than war with the underworld. Things never seemed to really calm down, which meant I'd be seeing more of Reno in the future, like Tseng said. I wasn't entirely sure whether that notion made me miserable or happy. That heavy look in his beautiful eyes just now didn't sit well with me; I knew he was prone to overthink things. Which was exactly what I told myself to stop doing.

I twisted around in the driver's seat and slapped Ollie on the knee. "Hey!" I shouted, but he didn't wake up. I almost felt bad for him. Almost. So, I honked the horn, long and hard, and he shot up from his half-lying position on the seat.

"Don't shoot!" he shouted, making me laugh and instantly feel better.

"Get out, we're going home."


I slept during the entire day, and when I finally woke up it was almost dark outside again. Ollie was still asleep, and I let him. The first thing I did was take a long bath, so I could wash off the make up and lingering feeling of men's hands on my skin.

I'd just settled back in the warm water after first taking a shower, when my phone rang. A frustrated groan left me, and I was inclined to ignore it at first, but I decided to at least check out who it was.

Tifa.

The frustration instantly left me and I answered.

"Wow, you sound like a million Gil," she said, though there was something off about the tone of her voice. "I know you're tired, but…" She went silent for a moment and I heard her shoes tap on wood as she walked. "I'm sorry, I need you to get over here. Reno showed up about half an hour ago and he's drinking the bar. Eden, he looks really miserable. I'm not sure what's going on."

The water sloshed as I sat up, instant worry coming over me. Was it as I had feared? All weariness forgotten, I hopped out of the tub, taking a gallon of water with me before I hurried from the bathroom.


He sat at the bar, looking lost and sad. The disguise was now gone, his hair once more red, earring back in place, as were the slender red tattoos on his cheekbones and the goggles on his head, holding his spiky hair in place. All was as it was before, apart from the thin ponytail he used to have at the base of his skull, the one Tseng had ordered him to cut. It would take a while to grow back.

Tifa was standing on the other side of the bar, watching Reno with a frustrated kind of concern on her face that was so very much like her. As soon as she noticed me, she dropped her towel and hurried over to me, looking more than a little relieved.

"He hasn't moved," she said to me in a hushed voice that didn't carry over the sounds of the other customers. She placed her hands on her hips and bit her lip in thought.

Reno seemed to be absorbed in his own thoughts, staring at his half empty glass, leaning his head on his palm. He was absentmindedly running his slender fingers along the edge of his glass in lazy circles.

"How's he doing?" I asked Tifa while I observed him.

She shook her head with a sigh. "He says he doesn't want to talk about it. I've been trying for almost an hour."

"All right…" I heaved a sigh of my own, as if preparing for battle. "I'll give it a try."

"Enjoying the happy hour?" I sat myself on the stool next to him, observing him as he sat rolling his glass around in his hands, eyes fixed on the golden liquid in thought.

"I hate bourbon, you know," he chuckled humorlessly. "More of a beer guy, myself."

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" I asked him flat-out. I had never seen him like this. Almost depressed. He was always cheerful, always outgoing and talkative. I didn't like this one bit.

"I handed Tseng my resignation."

"Uh, what?" I asked him in complete shock. Of all the things he could have said, that was the last thing I had ever expected him to say. 'I'm gay' would have been the only thing more unlikely. "Wha – why? Why would you do that? Your job is your life."

"Because I screwed up back there," he shrugged. "I failed to do my job, I failed to do what needed to be done. Never had that problem before. I couldn't even keep my emotions in check."

This was exactly what I had been afraid of. His insecurities were getting the best of him, and it was all due to the fact that he cared too much to make difficult decisions. I didn't think this made him a loser, I thought it made him the best person in the world. Shinra, however, probably saw the matter quite differently. All Rufus wanted was for the job to get done, conscience set aside and all feelings abandoned. That's the way it always was for the Turks. Did Reno feel like he wasn't up for that anymore? Was it my fault? The reason for his reluctance to be near me had never been so crystal clear. I made him a bad Turk, and that was all there was to it.

"Screw that, Reno, you had a moment, so what? We all have our moments. You were a pro in there." The fact that I had to force him to punch me in the face, wasn't something I considered a bad trait. Would he rather be the kind of man to simply hit someone without a second thought?

He twisted on his stool to face me. "No, you were the pro. You had to tell me what to do, like I was some freakin' noob. I had to rely on you to get the job done. If you hadn't, Rude would be dead now." He rested his chin on his hand, looking more depressed than I had ever seen him. This was his Wutai. "Some second in command I am..." He snorted and shook his head. "Shit."

"Don't say things like that. You really think Tseng would just hit Elena in a situation like that? Of course he wouldn't. For that matter, I wouldn't just hit you either. There's nothing wrong with you, Reno. You're starting to think for yourself, and it's freaking you out, that's all."

He sighed and let his head fall back in defeat. "Guess that's good, coz Tseng didn't accept my resignation."

"Good," I nodded firmly. "So you'll go to him and tell him you've changed your mind." An image of him dumping my sorry ass in bed after I'd hit an all time low, flashed through my head. "Remember what you told me back in Wutai?" At my words, his eyes shot to mine, and I saw a flicker of curiosity. "You said; 'when you're hanging off a cliff, you don't let go, you pull yourself up'."

He actually grinned, albeit subdued. "So you do remember that night, huh?"

Any other time, it would've been funny, or at the very least a little flustering, but right now I chose to ignore it. No doubt he'd add it to his stack of things to tease me about. "Being a Turk is in your blood. Don't you dare give that up over something like this."

"You hated me being a Turk," he said, still looking sad.

"Yes, but I would never ask you to change that. And you've been doing all kinds of good things lately." I smiled, thinking about the care he showed when Charly got hurt, and how he'd handled the Rainman job. He'd shown Renay a rare display of kindness. "Trust me, you really don't want to quit because of this. I know how you feel. I can't even tell you how many times I've wanted to quit the academy, with all these guys telling me how useless I was. Listen to me, Reno. You are great at what you do. You're the best. You're smart, strong and you have very good insights. Tseng is right to decline your resignation. If you dare, I will kick your ass, that's a promise."

He sighed and faced me. His cheeks were already a little flustered from slight intoxication. Or maybe it was because of what I said. "Babe..." I felt he wanted to say more, but had trouble finding the words. He turned back to the bar and pressed his face into his palms, rubbing his eyes. "The reason why– The reason why I didn't wanna hit ya is because I don't wanna be like my old man. Get me?"

I stared at him for a moment, realizing I had never thought about where he really came from. I knew he was from the Midgar slums, where Charly had picked him off the streets, but I had never before wondered how he had become such an unfortunate boy in the first place. This... explained a lot. "If that's really how you grew up, then you've done very well for yourself, Reno."

"Yeah, guess I did," he replied, leaning his head on his palm again, his free hand playing with something invisible on the bar. "Just made me feel like him, ya know?"

"Yeah, I get it," I replied softly. "So, drink the bar. Get wasted. I'll even join you if you want. Do whatever the hell you need to do to feel better. And in the morning, I want you to get back to being a Turk and a good guy. Well, maybe not in the morning... make it afternoon. Yeah?"

He pushed out a laugh, making me smile myself. "Yeah, let's do that." He shook his head and pulled me off the stool, into a one-armed embrace, the way guys would do. "Thanks, Foxy. Bourbon?"

"You know it."

He grinned at me and I shuddered at his amazing looks. How could someone be allowed to be so handsome? He called for Tifa, who showed up suspiciously quick for someone who was always busy. She watched us with a look of affection as she poured me a drink, and quickly excused herself.

"Can't get too crazy, we got a job interview in the mornin'," he said, his mood having brightened a little.

"For the Turks?" I frowned.

"Yeah, we're recruiting again. Could use some people. Why don't you join?"

I smiled at him. "Still nope. I like to go freelance, but feel free to hire me whenever I'm needed. Who's the candidate?"

"Young girl. Really young. Eighteen or nineteen. Though, I was fifteen, and... I think so was Cisnei when she joined, so I guess eighteen ain't so bad. Her name's Jack. She's from uh... Midgar, I think."

I downed my drink and slammed the glass on the counter. "What kind of name is Jack for a girl?"

"Dunno," he shrugged. "Was definitely female, though," he chuckled.

I didn't like him saying it like that, but chose to ignore it and bite my tongue. He was free to do whatever – and whoever – he wanted. Unfortunately. "I'll have another," I said instead, thinking I should at least feel happy he was okay again.

We talked a while longer, something we'd hardly ever had opportunity to do before, apart from that time on my porch roof. We usually ended up getting angry with each other for one reason or another, though things had been slightly smoother between us ever since Deepground. Sitting here with him now felt right, and I enjoyed watching his cheeks get more flustered with every drink he had, though he'd switched to beer now. He wasn't drunk, but he was definitely a little tipsy.

Tifa was still waiting tables almost two hours later, though the place had emptied significantly since it was a weekday and she closed at midnight. As she ran around picking up glasses from the tables and talking to customers, she glanced our way every now and then with that mischievous look on her face that told me she'd resurrected her Eden-Reno fan club again.

Reno was currently reminiscing about Rude, telling me funny stories about their experiences together. It was so clear to see that he cared for his best friend, though he never said it out loud in so many words. Rude had been taken to the infirmary, and was going to be just fine, but the entire experience had rattled Reno so much that he felt the need to talk about it, even if he were acting like he was fine. What we had been through last night was what his job was all about, but he wasn't as immune to emotions as I used to believe. He just knew how to hide it well. The way he'd manhandled Wolf after getting out of his binds said it all.

To other people – I wouldn't dare say normal people– actions such as his might seem savage, but I loved him for it. It wasn't often that he lost control like that and felt like retaliating. He often let things slide, even if they angered him. There were only a few things that truly managed to anger him; people he cared about getting hurt, people messing with the Turks, and me, apparently. Though his attitude towards me had somewhat cooled, I could still see the fire blazing in his eyes sometimes when I said something stupid again. That passion he had, no matter how aloof he often appeared, made me go wild. The fact that he was finally allowing himself to feel things as a person only added to my admiration.

I'd scooted my stool a little closer to him in order to be more closely enveloped in his presence, but he didn't seem to mind. Maybe he didn't even notice, he simply kept talking about the time Rude had fallen down a sinkhole in the Wutai mountain cave system, and they hadn't noticed until much later, due to the fact that Rude hardly ever made a sound and they hadn't missed him.

"Took us fifteen minutes to find out." Reno grinned at the memory. "He was kinda pissed."

Behind us, the door opened and Reno's eyes shifted from mine to the person who'd walked in.

"Cloud!" Tifa stated with clear but happy surprise. "You're back."

At the mention of his name, I turned on my stool and noted he was already walking over to us.

He offered Tifa a rare smile before he fixed his eyes on Reno and me. "Sorry to interrupt," he began in his familiar stoic manner. "Eden," he then said, sounding a little rushed. "You need to come with me, there's trouble in Cosmo Canyon. We gotta go help Red out."

A new wave of worry washed over me, something that seemed to be happening to me a lot lately. People were getting into trouble or hurt all around me, and it pissed me off. When would this ever end? My guess was never, actually. This was our job and our way of life.

I recalled Red having some issues with girls disappearing from his village, but he wanted to look into it himself. Did something happen? "Is it about the missing girls?" I hopped off my seat and Cloud nodded.

"He ran into something at the Ancient Forest, but he can't take care of it alone."

An image of Renay locked up in that basement hole flashed through my mind and I prayed to all the Gods that we didn't have someone like Rainman on our hands this time. I'd seen enough frightened and broken girls in my life, and now the memory of Wutai came to mind. All those young women that had been taken against their will and locked up for the enjoyment of men…

My fists clenched at my sides and I turned to Reno to say goodbye. "Will you be all right?"

"I'll take care of him," Tifa replied as she showed up by Cloud's side, standing as close to him as he would allow. "He can take one of the spare rooms, I don't mind."

"I wanna come with," Reno said, much to my surprise. "I can help."

Apparently, his reaction had surprised Cloud as well, though it was only briefly showing on his face. "You're a Turk," he pointed out. "These aren't your orders. Or are you a mercenary now?" Cloud's bluntness wasn't new to anyone, but it was still a little awkward at times. Reno however, didn't seem affected by it very much.

"You guys helped us out. We're friends now, right?" He looked at Cloud with determination on his face, though his slightly flustered cheeks ruined the image a bit.

Cloud observed him for a moment, and for a second I thought he would agree, but he didn't. "Thanks for the offer," he said, sounding final. "But Red is our business." I almost gasped at his rudeness, but he was already leaving before I could say anything about it. "Eden, let's go."

"Cloud!" Tifa scolded him as he walked out the door, watching him leave with a frown on her face. "That man…" she sighed in resignation. "Go on, Eden, I'll take care of Reno."

Reno was looking a little lost when I shifted my attention to him, and I wondered if Cloud's words had hurt him somehow. He'd clearly not responded in kind when Reno pointed out we were friends now, though I was aware that Cloud regarding someone as a friend didn't come as easy to him as it did to most people. I wasn't exactly sure whether Reno had meant it either, but he was trying his best to make amends for the things he'd done in the past. Even though Cloud had fought alongside them yesterday, it might have been more due to the fact that I was in need of help that he had decided to join ranks with them.

"Good luck," Tifa gently laid a hand on my shoulder before addressing Reno. "I'll go prepare a room for you. It's no trouble," she added when he opened his mouth to argue.

He nodded at her in thanks and she left to get the guest room ready.

"I'm sorry," I said. I didn't want to leave him here by himself right now, but the urgency in Cloud's voice had been enough to draw me away from Reno for the time being. "Cloud can be such an asshole sometimes…"

"Don't worry 'bout it," Reno reassured me with a slightly forced smile. "Who'd wanna be friends with a rotten Turk anyway, huh?" I wanted to reach out to him, but he turned away from me towards the bar, snatching up his beer. "I'm used to it by now."

To me, he was so much more than that, if only he could see that himself. If only he could see he was worth more as a person than he gave himself credit for. I took a step closer, feeling myself break through the invisible barrier that had been separating us for so long, a step I had feared to take before. But something had shifted between us since yesterday, and I understood him better now than I had before.

Outside, Cloud loudly honked the horn of his motorcycle, but I ignored him. There was something that I needed to say before I left. I forced myself into Reno's line of vision by leaning over the bar beside him. He reluctantly glanced at me, the blush having vanished from his cheeks. Cloud's cold behavior had clearly cooled his intoxication.

"I'm your friend," I said firmly, wanting to make him understand. "Rude's your friend. Tseng and Elena are your friends. Ollie's your friend. Don't feel bad, Reno, please."

Suddenly, he faced me again on his stool. "But you're leavin' again, ain't ya?" The words came tumbling out of his mouth. "You never –" He stopped mid sentence and dropped his gaze to the floor. I wanted for him to continue, wondering what he had been about to say, but the passion drained from his face. "Never mind," he then said, turning away from me again and back to the bar. "Thanks for showin' up tonight." He downed his beer and hopped off the stool, looking surprisingly steady on his feet. "I appreciate it, friend." He grinned rather sadly and left to find Tifa. It seemed he was in a hurry to get away from me.