A/N: Well this chapter got long lol
One more reminder that Fleurmione Week 2021.1 is coming in March. fleurmioneweek tumblr com
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Shadow994: hopefully this chapter gives you an idea about Hermione's side of things :)
percabethbooklion: I know! Here's more! lol
Perpetual Nonsense: Thanks! Agreed on it being very soul crushing for Fleur. Those first two chapters did hit pretty hard. This one isn't as much of a punch but it does add more complexities to their past. Hope you like it.
Loveinosaku: Thank you so much!
CigamWolf: Thanks! Hope you like this chapter too
Shiver Pixie: Many thanks for the comment. Hope you continue to enjoy the story.
Guests: I don't want to spoil anything so hopefully you'll continue reading as the answers to your questions eventually get revealed.
Chapter 3 – Tender is the touch
Hermione stepped through the doors of Hogwarts and out into the warm, early June air. She was immediately taken back to the wonderment she had felt when she was twelve years old and the magical world was still a bright light in her life. But just as quickly, she remembered the day of the battle and that feeling of hopelessness when she thought Harry had died. Shaking off these thoughts, she looked around. Fortunately, most of the students were either in exams or tucked away studying and no one bothered her as she took a sad look at the grounds. It was hard being back here, at remembering everything that happened. But not as hard as it would have been if she'd come back as a student the previous autumn.
Minerva McGonagall had helped facilitate her return so that she could take her NEWTs over the last couple of weeks. She'd even offered her a chance to take them after the school term was over but Hermione wanted to take them around the same time as everyone else. The Hogwarts headmistress permitted her to use a disguise and wear Hufflepuff robes so she wouldn't stand out amongst the other students sitting their NEWTs or anyone else who knew and might have recognized her, like Ginny Weasley. Luna had given her an odd look a week ago but didn't say anything. No one did. But she didn't have to worry now that she had just finished her last one. The Ministry had told her there was no need for her to sit the exams but Hermione didn't feel right about it. A position at the Ministry without her NEWTs would have felt like a cheat.
Walking towards the gates, she transfigured her school uniform into plain, dark blue robes that wouldn't draw attention, and once she exited the gates she promptly apparated to Diagon Alley. Her disguise of straightened black hair, blue eyes, and higher cheekbones remained in place. Hermione may have decided to return to magical society but aside from several people who knew she was there, like McGonagall, the Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures who she'd been in touch with about a position, and the proctors administering her NEWTs, she wasn't quite ready to face the masses on the streets.
The brunette slowly walked past the shops and street sellers, enjoying the hustle and bustle, glad to see colors and happiness again after the terror Voldemort and his followers had wrought here. She liked seeing young children with wide eyes and sticky fingers pressed up against storefront windows, coveting sweets or the latest broom model. Hermione felt a twinge of sadness for her own childhood, for having to grow up too soon, but seeing those children made it all worth it. There was hope for them and there was now hope for her, too. Smiling, Hermione reminded herself to tell Mara how she'd been able to walk through crowds without having any anxiety attacks.
She had just one more thing to take care of before she headed back home to Ottawa.
Hermione nervously approached Gringotts. She hadn't been inside since the day she, Harry, and Ron broke in more than a year ago. The deception had been necessary back then, but now she felt uneasy continuing with her current disguise so she undid it as she entered the doors. Slowly walking through, she noticed everything had been repaired as if nothing had happened. A few goblins directed stern glances her way but no one said anything. She really didn't want to be here, and not just because of what she and her friends had done. But a certain someone needed to know she was coming back and she wanted to talk to that person face to face. Hermione took a deep breath, braced herself, and walked to the Head Goblin's desk.
"Good afternoon, I would like to speak with someone in the Recovery and Acquisitions Office, please," Hermione said, using as polite a tone as she could.
"Only employees are allowed in the Recovery Office, Miss Granger," answered the Head Goblin, giving her a withering gaze.
Hermione gulped, unsurprised she'd been recognized. She clenched her jaw and pressed on.
"I realize that. I just need to speak with one of your curse-breakers. A Mrs. Fleur Weasley."
The goblin clucked his tongue and looked back down to his ledger. It seemed like a dismissal but then he spoke.
"Miss Delacour is no longer an employee here at Gringotts."
Hermione blinked. Now she was surprised. Perhaps she should've contacted Harry. But then that would've led to questions and get-togethers and her plan was to send owls to him, Ron, and Ginny later. The reunions with them could wait for when she and her family moved back to England.
Why did he use Fleur's maiden name?
"May I speak with Mr. William Weasley instead?"
"Mr. Weasley is currently on assignment in Egypt and is not expected back for another six months. If you do not have any legitimate business with us today, I suggest you make your personal inquiries elsewhere, Miss Granger."
That was definitely a dismissal. Hermione knew she would not get any further so she gave her thanks and walked away, ignoring the curious stares of the other bank customers. They probably recognized her but she paid them no heed. As soon as she reached the doors, she quickly donned her disguise and walked outside. Her earlier good humor was replaced by annoyance as she wandered through Diagon Alley. She had fully expected to see Fleur and had been preparing herself for it over the last few weeks. But now it looked like she and Bill were in Egypt. Sending an owl to say what she needed to say was not what she had wanted; these things she'd held in her heart for far too long deserved more than that. But there was nothing she could do about it now. She would have to give more thought on how to proceed after her family's move. Hermione apparated to Hogsmeade.
She kept her disguise as she walked through the village. She was early but that was because she had planned for at least an hour's conversation with the Frenchwoman. Walking into the Three Broomsticks, Hermione ordered a butterbeer and sat at a table in a secluded corner while she waited to meet with Minerva.
Emotions and memories washed over her as she sipped her drink. Time had helped. So did therapy. Dealing with the trauma of the war had been and was still one of her greatest challenges, and would very likely be a lifelong journey. It helped that she now had hope for the future, and a cherished reason to keep on hoping. But the war was only one part of her pain. The other part was Fleur.
Deciding not to return when she went to Australia hadn't been her plan when she left. And she felt guilty for leaving barely a week after the battle, before all the funerals, for leaving her friends without giving them any sort of proper goodbye. But seeing Fleur in Bill's arms as they mourned with the rest of the Weasleys over Fred reminded her that Fleur had rejected her at Shell Cottage only a few days earlier. The woman had selfishly slept with her, knowing it would seal their bond and forge an unbreakable lifelong connection, and even though Hermione had known Fleur might choose to remain with Bill, she was still angry that she had. Hermione didn't know why Fleur had done that. Everything she'd read about Veela and their mates said that Fleur loved her, and Hermione had felt it during those weeks as she recovered from her torture at Malfoy Manor. The way Fleur looked at her, the care she had shown her.
Why didn't Fleur ever talk to her about being mates? Hermione had no answer to this question. To be fair, Hermione had no idea that's what they were to each other during fourth year. She thought the tug in her chest was just her first flush of teenage romance. She hadn't known how to explain why she'd fallen so hard and fast for the blonde and preferred to look at it as just a physical thing. In retrospect, she should've said something to her about her growing attachment, and she had been working towards it, but then Fleur broke her heart. Fifth year at Hogwarts went by so fast what with the terror of Umbridge and trying to control Harry's recklessness, that it wasn't too hard to ignore the tug and ache in her chest that wouldn't go away. It wasn't until she saw Fleur at the Burrow the summer before sixth year, when the jealousy and anger over the engagement to Bill was so strong she thought she might hurt someone, that she was forced to confront her feelings as something deeper.
She had been furious at the Veela for how she made a permanent dwelling in her heart. In addition to supporting Harry, Hermione spent sixth year actively trying to forget Fleur. Early in the year there had been a short, anger-fueled fling with Pansy Parkinson, not caring one whit that her first time was with someone she hated. As physically satisfying as it had been, the spark between them quickly snuffed out and their status as enemies reasserted itself. A few dates with others during the year went nowhere, too. One evening, her yearning for Fleur got to be too much which resulted in a small breakdown in the library, and Neville Longbottom sat with her. She had expected clumsy attempts to comfort her but he remained quiet, waiting for her to calm down and talk when she was ready. Hermione didn't tell him about Fleur but they talked about school and their families, and made plans to talk again. And they kept talking. And they eventually dated. As expected, Ron was an idiot about it, but being with Neville gave her the confidence to finally confront him and tell her friend that she wouldn't ever feel that way about him.
Neville was gentle and sweet, and for the two months they were together she tried to make a go of it. But after their first and only time sleeping together, she realized that she couldn't force her heart to feel more than it did. He understood and they broke up. The transition back to friends came without tears or heartache, which only confirmed her view that she'd never really let him in. Hermione had other things to worry about after that. Dumbledore's death. Harry's plan to find the horcruxes. Fleur's wedding.
By that time, she was almost positive that she was Fleur's mate. Hermione had researched as much about Veela culture as she could during fourth year and from what little she could glean from the outlandish tales the wizarding world deigned to publish, mates amongst the Veela were real. She just hadn't made the connection about her own situation until that summer after sixth year. It was the only thing that explained the pull in her chest when they were near each other. She tried to talk to her before the wedding but Fleur was busy and ignored her. Hermione could've tried harder but she didn't have the heart after seeing how happy and excited the blonde looked. Watching her marry Bill was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to endure but she told herself it was for the best. She would be leaving soon with Harry and Ron on a dangerous mission; so dangerous she might not survive. In her mind, Harry had done the right thing by ending it with Ginny. Hermione couldn't be selfish when Fleur had someone who would be able to stay with her and keep her safe. That's what she kept telling herself throughout the horcrux hunt. Then Malfoy Manor happened.
The torture had weakened more than just her body. It weakened her resolve to stay selfless when it came to the Veela. Hermione didn't even try fighting her want as the woman helped heal her. The only thing Hermione wanted was to be near her, to touch her, to soak up the very essence of her. She was in love and she didn't want to bury it away anymore. The magical pull she felt didn't get stronger per se, but it did feel warmer, more urgent. And then sometimes it would disappear and she would doubt herself, wondering if it was all in her head. But she could tell Fleur also wanted to be near her, her touches and gaze lingered in ways that left Hermione's heart thundering with hope. Neither of them acted, though. As the time approached for the break-in at Gringotts, Hermione had known the odds were against them, and that it might be better to push down her feelings as she had done before, but her selfishness won out.
Hermione lay quietly in bed, unable to sleep. The sounds of the crashing waves nearby seemed louder tonight, more dissonant. The Gringotts plan was weighing on her. Too many things could go wrong. Having a backup team would be better. Consulting with Bill and Fleur about ways to get out if they got trapped would be the smart thing to do. But instead of doing that, they were going in blind and she wanted to scream at Harry's insistence they do this on their own. She debated turning on the light so that she could read for a couple of hours but then her door opened. Fleur had stopped checking on her days ago so it was a surprise to see her. Hermione almost didn't say anything but when Fleur made to leave, she called out to her.
"Please come in," she said softly.
The Frenchwoman quietly closed the door and slowly approached the bed with a worried expression. "Are you all right? Have you had another nightmare?"
It looked like the blonde was holding back. Her concern looked like it had to do with something other than nightmares and Hermione suspected Fleur knew more about their plan than she let on.
"I can't sleep," Hermione murmured. She took a deep breath and then breathed out, "Will you hold me?"
Hermione missed how Fleur would comfort her after her nightmares. She missed warm arms that would hold her tightly, those soft lips pressed to her temple whispering assurances. But tonight, she wanted more than that. She was nervous as Fleur climbed into the bed and pulled her into her arms. Her head rested on Fleur's chest for a few minutes, summoning her courage, tossing aside every argument which said this was enough, that she should let the woman go once and for all. It was all pressing down on her. The guilt, her fears, her responsibilities. Her heart struggled against them. Why did she always have to sacrifice so much? Why couldn't she reach for what she wanted just this once?
The whisper escaped her before she could rethink it. "Make love to me, Fleur."
She heard Fleur's surprised gasp and felt her body tense up. Hermione felt torn and disgusted with herself. She hadn't meant to blurt it out like that. The intention had been to bring up their feelings over the last few weeks. And now to just jump straight to it without any preamble whatsoever… The terrible things Fleur must think of her… But in the end, did it matter how she asked? Her selfish need to be with the woman was the same whether she sugar-coated it or not. The blood rushed through her ears as she waited for a response. When one didn't come, Hermione lifted her head to look the Veela straight in the eyes. There was enough moonlight to see the other woman's confusion but her pulse raced when she recognized the same restrained desire that was on Fleur's face that night when they almost slept together in the Beauxbatons carriage.
"Hermione, you're not thinking clearly," Fleur said hoarsely, attempting to sound firm but the younger witch heard the waver in her voice. "You've gone through something horri–"
"I'm sorry, I know it isn't fair for me to ask," the brunette interrupted. And oh Merlin, did she know. She was propositioning a married woman and asking her to do something that could end her marriage. It was reckless and desperate, and a few months ago she would've have balked at throwing herself at Fleur in this way, at throwing her self-respect out the window by begging. But in this moment, Hermione didn't want to take it back. They belonged together. Why couldn't Fleur see that?
"I know you're not free and you made your choice about us long ago... But what we feel hasn't gone away, it's only grown. I know you feel it. If we had had more time… but we don't, Fleur… tonight might be all that we have. I've had to accept that I might not survive this war… and I thought I came to terms with you and him…"
Hermione kept trailing off, she knew she wasn't explaining herself very well. Tears fell from her eyes and she felt ashamed. "Look, I know what it'll mean if we do this and I want it, I want you. Even if it's just tonight… I can't die not knowing what it's like to have you as my –"
The next thing she knew Fleur leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. Hermione's breathing through her nose quickened and she kept her eyes open to observe the other woman. Fleur's eyes were closed and her lips trembled at her touch. Just as Hermione was about to show mercy and say they didn't have to, the older witch broke the kiss and spoke.
"Of course, I want you, Hermione," rushed Fleur breathlessly, her eyes wild, taking the younger witch in as if she might disappear at any moment, her pale hands holding Hermione's hair out of her face. "I just… I'm still…"
Fleur didn't have to say it. The brunette knew the other woman could make no promises, that crossing this line could lead to ruin for one or both of them.
"I know," choked out Hermione, tears falling as she nodded, damning all the consequences.
The blonde let out a strangled breath and tangled one of her hands in Hermione's hair, then pulled her forward into a deeper kiss. Hermione immediately sank into her. Every cell in her body rejoiced in the passion that overcame her. This was what this was supposed to feel like. This was what had been missing in her entanglements with Pansy and Neville. Throwing her leg over the woman's waist to straddle her, Hermione pressed in even harder as she tried to make up for lost time. She moaned into the other woman's mouth; she had forgotten how good Fleur tasted. The last time they had kissed, Hermione had been an inexperienced fifteen-year-old trying to prove to Fleur that she was ready for the next step even though she hadn't been.
But she wasn't fifteen or inexperienced anymore.
Fleur rolled Hermione over onto her back and lay between her legs, then she brought out her wand to lock the door and cast a muffliato charm on the room. The blonde panted heavily, set her wand on the nightstand, and asked, "Have you done this before?"
She nodded and looked up into the eyes of the woman she loved. The blonde was the picture of consideration, giving Hermione every chance to stop this. The brunette smiled and caressed Fleur's back, pulling her closer, and then she whispered, "There was a girl and then a boy in sixth year. Not anything serious. Nothing like how I feel right now."
Hermione saw the flash of jealousy in Fleur's expression but it was quickly replaced with acceptance and maybe even a little relief. Fleur leaned in to kiss her again, a soft hand reaching under her sleep shirt.
She had felt such euphoria at Fleur agreeing to seal their bond. Her heart felt like it would burst with her love for the other woman. And Fleur didn't seem to hold anything back, letting Hermione set the pace and shower the blonde with her love. After the bond was fully formed, the connection didn't feel much stronger than before which surprised her. At least she could feel some of Fleur's emotions, even though they felt fuzzy, like a rough impression instead of the strong sensations she'd read about. Nevertheless, she did feel them and it proved she had been right. They were mates and now they were bonded. She fell asleep in her mate's arms and when they woke again, their desire for each other reignited. They both understood that they didn't have much more time and Fleur seemed frenzied in the way she took Hermione, grinding down over Hermione's thigh as her strong fingers pumped into the brunette. The brunette focused hard on their connection; she could feel how much Fleur was giving her, she could feel the woman's heart pulsing to the same beat as her own. They were one in every way. As they brought each other closer to their peaks, Hermione imagined their future. She imagined what it would be like to grow a family with Fleur and the thought of it brought tears to her eyes. She didn't want to put so much hope into something that may never be because there was still Bill and the war, but Hermione wanted that future with all of her heart.
As they thrust against each other, Fleur's face was half against Hermione's ear and half buried into the pillow, and Hermione's face was buried in Fleur's neck. She wanted release and she also didn't want it to end, their rhythms and moans growing more frantic with their need. When Fleur suddenly stiffened with a sharp cry of her name, Hermione finally let go and came with loud, gasping cries.
Hermione knew she said she could live with just one night, that she could bond with Fleur and be able to walk away afterwards. But as the waves of pleasure coursed through their bodies, Hermione clung fiercely to her love, muffling her cries by pressing her mouth onto the silky skin of her mate's neck, trying to bite back the words fighting their way into her throat. It was no use. She had to say it. She wanted more than tonight. She wanted forever.
Her mouth still buried in Fleur's neck, Hermione breathed out, "I love you, Fleur… Choose me… Marry me."
There hadn't been a response but they were so exhausted, Fleur dozed off still on top of her and she soon followed. When Hermione had woken up again, she carefully pushed Fleur's shoulder to roll the woman off to her side and watched as her lover slowly awakened. The moment blue eyes blinked open and found Hermione's, they smiled at each other. Hermione waited for the Veela to say something. She could feel Fleur's love, their bond was new but she was confident it would grow strong in time. When blue eyes darted away, Hermione felt the other woman's guilt. Her heart sunk as she realized that Fleur was still feeling indecisive. She swallowed her hurt; she knew going in that tonight might be all that her mate would give her. But when Fleur left the bed without even saying anything about their bond, all a stunned Hermione could say was goodbye. It was a blow. A punch to the gut. How could Fleur be so heartless? All the reputable things she had read about Veela said that the bond could only form between true mates and that the Veela would love her bond-mate for the rest of her life. Fleur loved her. She knew that she did. So how could Fleur have chosen to seal the bond and then not even address it?
The next day a disheartened and angry Hermione avoided being alone with her, and she wasn't surprised that Fleur made no effort to talk with her either, aside from the brief exchange when Fleur handed her clothes that she needed for her Bellatrix Lestrange disguise. The day after that, she, Harry, and Ron left for Gringotts.
Hermione knew she should've said something. She should've yelled at the blonde. When the war was won, she should've pulled Fleur aside and confronted her. But her fury and heartbreak told her to wait until after she had recovered her parents. So, she left. And once in Australia, she was faced with a blow of a different kind. After locating her parents and giving them back their memories, becoming Greg and Sarah Granger once more, there was no joyous reunion, only anger and reproach. She was overwhelmed by guilt and it felt like losing them all over again. She had broken their trust and they needed to adjust to what had happened to them. All three of them decided they should stay put for the time being.
In those first weeks, tensions with Hermione's parents were fraught and the nightmares were frequent, so she spent a lot of time exploring the coastal town they'd settled in. It helped that the connection with her mate seemed nearly non-existent and held none of the Veela's emotions; just this faint tether, like a dull buzzing in her chest. Hermione concluded that it was likely due to the distance between them.
She spent more time hiding away in a nearby pub than she should have, casting glamours to cover her scars, and burying her pain with alcohol. At first she kept to herself and then a young man named Sebastian approached her. The first thing she said to him was that she loved someone else and he accepted it. It all seemed so cliché to have a rebound relationship like that but there was nothing trite about the way Seb kept her afloat when she was so often tempted to let herself drown. When she couldn't bear the look in her parents' eyes, Seb was there at the pub, ready to cheer her up with jokes. When she needed to get Fleur out of her mind, when the tether to her mate felt strangely strong, Seb was there to soothe her in his bed. He never pushed, never asked questions about her life before, never asked what her nightmares were about, and he was exactly what she needed. His carefree attitude about life made her envious. It was what prompted her to suggest to her parents that they not return to England. Hermione wanted to rebuild their relationship away from that world that had driven a wedge between them. But her friends would know to look for her in Australia. They needed to move somewhere else. Somewhere far away so the connection to Fleur would remain weak. Hermione ended things with Seb and started making her plans.
Writing that letter to Harry had been difficult. It hadn't been fair of her to ask him to shoulder that burden of being the one that had to tell Ron and Ginny she wasn't coming back. But she also knew he was the only one who would understand her decision. As for including that reference to an 'unexpected person', Hermione hadn't really thought Fleur would ask Harry about her but on the very slim chance that she did, she wanted the Frenchwoman to know she was done. She used the regular postal service, figuring it would take a while before he received it.
It was a testament to their love for their daughter that Hermione's parents agreed to her suggestion to move to Canada. She could tell they preferred going back to England, and she knew they viewed it as her running away, but they could also tell something had broken inside her. Hermione had to promise them that she would seek out a therapist after their move. Her first thought was to go to a muggle therapist but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that true healing would come with being honest about the things that had happened to her. But she knew nothing about Canada's magical communities, and didn't know how she would find a trusted healer, someone who wouldn't gossip to anyone about her identity and risk her location being revealed to others who might seek her out. Just making inquiries might raise red flags. Hermione hated that she was already bending on her resolve to leave behind the magical world but she needed help. She took a day trip to Sydney to find an owlery and sent a message to Professor McGonagall. It was about as long as the letter to Harry; a simple declaration of her plan to not return, her current address, and a request for help locating a healer in Canada that dealt in mental health issues. Fortunately for Hermione, her favorite professor was an understanding one and her reply included well wishes, an offer to sit her NEWTs when she was ready, and a name for a former Hogwarts student living in Ottawa.
The Grangers found a small house just outside Ottawa and they had moved in towards the end of July. Her parents made plans to start another dental practice by the beginning of September using new identities Hermione helped procure. They were the Browns now; Mark, Cheryl, and Jean. Hermione split her time between a job she'd gotten at a nearby bookstore and helping them set up the new office space. She'd kept her promise to her parents by scheduling an appointment with the therapist for the first Tuesday in August using her fake name. McGonagall had referred her to a muggleborn witch who had performed the incredible feat of earning a muggle medical degree, taking on all the requisite internships and residencies at muggle hospitals, all while working at the same time as a healer at St. Mungo's.
Her name was Dr. Mara Muñoz but in their first session, she told Hermione to call her Mara.
"Did Professor McGonagall contact you about me?" Hermione asked after a long silence. Several minutes earlier she had revealed her true name, pointed out the scar on her arm, and coldly described the witch who had given it to her. She had expected follow-up questions but Mara remained silent, waiting for her to continue at her own pace. Rather than continue with her experiences, she changed tack to find out what the older witch had been told.
"Just that I would be hearing from someone that required discretion. It was an unnecessary note to send on her part. I take my patients' privacy needs very seriously, regardless of how famous they are."
Hermione frowned. "Your shingle just says therapist and doesn't include the fact that you have a medical degree with a specialty in psychiatry. Shouldn't you more accurately describe yourself as a psychiatrist?"
"Witches and wizards have a hard enough time trusting no-maj technologies, much less theories of the mind. Since I exclusively treat members of the magical community, it makes sense to be as inviting as possible. And I'm just as likely to prescribe meditations as I am potions or medications. If it makes you feel better, I maintain my licensing in the muggle world but I am also a Healer with admitting privileges at Derwent Magical General Hospital."
Hermione nodded, then hardened her expression and stated evenly, "McGonagall said you graduated Hogwarts in 1970."
Mara sat back in her chair and let Hermione's unspoken question sit between them before replying.
"If your intention is to ask me about Bellatrix as a student, I'm sorry to disappoint you. As a muggleborn and a Hufflepuff, I ran in different circles. I am very familiar with the carnage she left behind, however. And that's where our talks will be most helpful to you," Mara finally said, tilting her head towards Hermione's left arm.
Hermione gave a small smile and relaxed. Mara had easily connected the dots and addressed her vague reference with pointed directness. It told her that the older witch wouldn't let her get away with any bullshit and would confront her when necessary.
She liked Mara and agreed to start with twice-weekly sessions, and subsequently learned more of the other woman's background. She respected the older witch's decision to follow her muggle husband to Canada after getting frustrated with the Ministry's bureaucratic hurdles to her efforts to better incorporate muggle medical knowledge into magical healing. Mara had especially railed against the insufficient availability of mental health support for survivors and veterans of the First Wizarding War. Her husband Abel Muñoz was a pediatrician whom she'd met in medical school and he was originally from Canada, so they agreed to move there back in 1990.
Mara's frustrations with the rigidity of the British wizarding world helped Hermione connect with her, which prompted her to open up about other things. The corruption of the Ministry, the wear on her mind of being hunted and on the run for so long, the torture she'd endured at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange, having to impersonate the woman and use her wand, then recovering her own wand after Lestrange's death and trying to come to terms with the woman's use of it in killing people she knew during the Battle of Hogwarts. But getting a new wand meant not leaving the magical world behind like she thought she wanted so she was torn over what to do. She ranted about everything except Fleur, telling herself that she would bring it up with Mara after a few more months.
It wasn't easy, and during those first few weeks she often lashed out at some of Mara's probing questions, or the way the woman would turn one of Hermione's questions around on her. It did help to have an objective sounding board for all of her anger and frustrations, though. That first month of therapy seemed more like an excuse to vent her rage than learn ways to live with it, but months later Mara would say that Hermione had needed to do that very thing. She'd spent far too long bottling it up while she gave so much of herself to others that it was time to unleash it, however wrong or unfair it felt to say.
Hermione slowly opened up about her time at Hogwarts with her parents, too, no longer hiding the dangerous things that had happened over the years. They still argued sometimes but their relationship grew stronger. She started checking out university textbooks from the library to further her education and she toyed with the idea of properly attending to get a degree. The tether to Fleur remained but she learned to ignore it during the day. Nights were a different matter. Sometimes she thought she could sense the blonde's emotions and it surprised her that they were not happy ones. She would tell herself it was just wishful thinking, though; that she still loved Fleur and her broken heart and loneliness were making up excuses so that she would seek her mate. During these moments, Hermione would repeat her mantra to accept Fleur's choice, and that it wasn't her. What was done was done.
In spite of all that, Hermione did feel proud of herself for taking these positive steps. She had known it was still too early to say, that she'd only just started her path to healing, but she was beginning to feel good about where things were going.
Then complications occurred at the end of August.
Namely, Hermione realized she couldn't remember the last time she had menstruated. The stress of the horcrux hunt had really done a number on her cycle and it appeared those effects were lingering. Her mother Sarah, on the other hand, wasn't so easily appeased by that explanation. Sarah knew about Seb and urged her to take a home pregnancy test. The brunette had laughed at her mother when she came home from the store with the test. Obviously Sarah was just paranoid and Hermione decided it would be better to humor her than fight about it. When the diabolical stick said positive, the witch still refused to believe it. False positives happened, it said so right in the instructions. It was her mother that had made the appointment with a muggle doctor and it was her mother that had held a shocked Hermione's hand in the doctor's office as the obstetrician took her self-delusion, tossed it right in the bin, and confirmed her very real pregnancy.
