Chapter 6: Parents Just Don't Understand

The feedback from last chapter was awesome! Thanks for indulging my little mini-rant in the comments. Sometimes business must be handled. Also, we will be meeting a few new-ish folks this chapter; Otis Dozovic, Shotzi Blackheart and Nikki Cross, amongst others. The makeover continues.

Also, I've come to a big, story-altering decision; I'm retconning where Stamford University is. The simple fact is that traditional college life tends to be better in the South and Midwest. From now on, Stamford U will be in Western North Carolina, near Asheville & Weaverville. I'm not going back and changing a bunch of horseshit. It's like when "Good Morning Ms. Bliss" turned into "Saved by the Bell" (google it, you little shitheels). One year they're in a normal-ass school in Indiana and the next year they're at Bayside. Just go with it.

"Fuuuuuck!"

That lone word, repeated for at least the hundredth time in the last five minutes, rang down the halls of the Zeta Beta Zeta house, empty as it was, and dissipated out somewhere in the atmosphere over greater North Florida..

For the pair of students making love in Alexa Bliss's bedroom, however, it was the only thought on either of their minds. Alexa Bliss, said room's assigned resident, found herself in a state of euphoria she didn't often reach, all the while bent over the trunk at the foot of her bed, her cheerleading practice shorts pulled to her ankles and the front of her white spaghetti strap t-shirt hastily yanked up over her generous chest and up to her mouth, her pearly white teeth biting down on the cotton material and her lover's right arm extended across both breasts, his left hand holding a giant handful of her shirt, giving the appearance of him using a bridle on her.

"I'm gonna come, Lexi," Dean groaned, his entire physical form beginning to tense from head to toe as the tingle began to build up inside him.

"Mmmmmmph," she moaned in return, the fabric in her mouth muffling what Dean really hoped was a sound giving him the "go ahead."

With a final window-shaking moan from both participants, Dean released everything he had built up, causing his knees to buckle slightly as Alexa rocked her hips into him, bringing their pubic bones together one final time, before pulling her shirt down and slowly lowering herself onto the wooden trunk, a breathy, satisfied giggle escaping her now unencumbered lips.

"That was super fucking hot, baby," she admitted, her eyes closed. She began slowly crawling her way to her normal spot in bed, tugging her remaining clothes into the correct alignment.

"Goddam," Ambrose responded, finding himself laying down and scooting close to his love interest, though he wasn't sure what her proper title was yet.

Alexa rolled over, only to find that Dean was now almost directly in the middle of her queen bed, her chin making the lightest contact with his pectoral.

"I wish we could do that the rest of the day," she bemoaned, not at all concerned with her Sorority sister's impending return.

"Me too," Dean agreed, stretching his large frame over the length of Alexa's bed. "Too bad practice is mandatory for my scholarship or whatever."

"Yeah, what do they think this is, an institution of higher learning?" Alexa responded playfully, rolling her eyes in mock dissatisfaction. She raised her head, kissing Dean affectionately on his chin, gently giving him a nibble.

"Damn, babe," Dean groaned, clearly responding to her seemingly unending desire to be around him.

"Mmmmm," the tiny blonde moaned, unhappy that she had other places to be that day. Running her fingernails up and down Dean's serrated chest, Alexa planted a line of sweet kisses down his jawline and neck to his pectoral.

"I can't," she complained, pushing herself away from her love interest. "We both have practice, and after last week you know they aren't gonna let us blow anything off."

Dean snickered and shook his head, still in awe of the previous weekend's game. After their first win against Appalachian State, the small powerhouse college found itself receiving some regional attention. This past weekend, the weekend after the Crush Party, Stamford again pulled off an upset victory, this time over the Southern Miss Eagles. This game, which the Titans won by a 34-24 score, featured Montez Ford again showing out, lighting up the Eagles defense with three total touchdowns, with Apollo Crews also rumbling nearly the length of the field in the fourth quarter to seal the game for the Titans.

What that meant to Dean and Alexa was that for this coming weekend, in addition to their various families visiting for "Parent's Weekend," there was going to be national media present for their game against Marshall.

"Oh, yeah," Alexa continued as she began wandering around her room, considering a t-shirt change. "We need to talk about parent's weekend."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "What, are they not really American royalty?"

The diminutive beauty queen giggled, shaking her head at Dean's nonstop irreverence.

"No, I just didn't tell you everything."

"Like?" Dean fired back, the feeling of dread building up within him.

"Nothing that big. Just, like, my parents just wrapped up a nasty divorce."

Ambrose raised his brow in surprise. "Wait, what?"

Alexa snickered wryly, though there was no humor in it. "So, I guess about eight minutes after I left for college, my mom came home from the office and caught my dad going balls deep in one of the graduate interns."

"Gahdamn," Ambrose spat in complete surprise. "Really?"

Alexa shook her head, the recollection of that memory causing great irritation. "Yeah. That wasn't the worst part, though."

Dean scoffed in surprise. "How was that not the worst part?"

"The worst part was that I knew her. We went to the same high school. She was a senior when I was a freshman."

"Holy fuck," Dean almost shouted, genuinely rattled by what he was hearing. "Really?"

Alexa nodded. "Yep. Her name is Jackie Gayda. She was one of the girls the high school used to send over to the middle school to teach us cheers. After my mom left my dad's sorry ass he married Jackie."

"He married her?" Dean exclaimed. "Holy shit. At least he committed all the way. Most guys don't marry the side piece."

Alexa chuckled despite herself. "That's not all, though." She crossed the room back to Dean. "Dad is really, really pissed that I broke it off with Adam, so I wouldn't get too chummy with him."

Alexa wrapped her arms around Dean's neck loosely, kissing him again on the neck, knowing that the young man might not appreciate a kiss on the lips considering where her mouth had been some twenty minutes earlier.

"Why?" Dean inquired, genuinely curious.

"Do you know who Michael Cole is?" Alexa fired back.

Dean shook his head slowly. "Should I?"

The tiny blonde laughed. "Not really. He's one of the Senators that represents New Jersey. Dad likes having powerful friends, and Senator Cole was his most powerful."

"Well, shit," Dean mused playfully. "You think it would help if I told your dad that my dad is captain of his softball team? I mean, that's power you can't buy."

Alexa laughed, then shook her head. "No. For a long time now he's been set on me marrying into a family that gives him more power. It's some serious Game of Thrones shit. Now, give me two minutes to brush my teeth and freshen up and we'll go have lunch before class, yeah?"

Dean nodded, then plopped down on the bed and tried not to invade Alexa's privacy while she was down the hall in the communal bathroom. Instead, he tried to do what he could to straighten the mess they'd made during their tousling about that morning.

"C'mon," Alexa beckoned him from the doorway to her bedroom, holding her hand for him to take. Dean got a full whiff of her minty fresh breath, and smiled to himself as he pulled her back into him for a hug.

As he followed her down the hall, a previously forgotten thought recurred to him.

"Hey, Lex," he restarted, "can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she returned brightly, "but if it's 'do we have time for one more blowjob before class' the answer is 'probably not'."

Dean chuckled, though deep down it made him warm inside to hear how fond Alexa seemed to be of doing things like that with and for him.

"What are we?"

Alexa stopped completely and spun on her heels. "What do you mean," she pressed, hooking her pointer fingers in his belt loops and kissing him lightly.

"I mean, my mom and dad are coming tomorrow too, and when you meet my mom, I'm not sure I want to introduce you as my 'fuck buddy.' I mean, it might be fun to see her face right after I said that, but it's not a discussion I want to have."

Alexa chuckled loudly, thinking about her mom's reaction if or when she told her that her main bond with Dean at this point was that they had spectacular sex when together.

"So, I was actually thinking about this the other day."

"You were?" Dean almost shouted as the pair started walking slowly down the main thoroughfare of the third floor of House ZBZ.

"Yeah," she admitted in response, taking Dean's hand and intertwining her fingers with his. It was the first time she could remember doing that when the two weren't going directly to the bedroom. "First of all, I want you to know that I'm not seeing anyone else, and haven't since we started…"

"Boning?" Dean finished, tickled that such a highly respected ZBZ and prominent cheerleader would struggle to define a relationship based on sex.

"Eww," the pixie retorted, her face twisting into a mask of disgust. After a beat, she relented back into a smile, letting Dean know she was joking.

"Physically interacting," she continued, having found the right phrase in her mind. "So when you introduce me, why don't you tell your mom 'this is Alexa. We're dating.'"

Dean nodded. "Sounds good, even though we haven't been on any dates that didn't involve one of our houses."

Alexa shrugged. "This early in the year, with football and cheer and house stuff and getting into the swing of classes, it's hard to make time for anything else. Do you want to start going on dates?"

Dean nodded, almost imperceptibly, though his eyes never left the floor. "Yeah. Can we go to the movies Sunday night after everyone is gone?"

Alexa's grin turned as bright as Dean had ever seen it, as she threw her arms around Dean's neck and squealed softly with delight.

"Yes! Let's get through the drama with everyone's parents and then we can figure out what we're gonna go see. I'm really excited."

Dean did his best to hide the abject shock from his face. He had no idea Alexa felt as strongly as she did about wanting to begin an official relationship with him. After all, she was one of two head cheerleaders, the Rush Chair for ZBZ and the odds on favorite to win Homecoming Queen this year. Yet here she was, bouncing up and down on her toes in excitement about spending even more time with him.

"Anyway," she continued, "what I was gonna say is that I don't want to feel like I'm introducing you as my boyfriend just to upset my dad."

Dean snickered. "You know that would be completely okay with me, right? Like, that happened so much in high school it'd could've been a service I charge for."

Alexa gave a loud guffaw before checking her volume. They'd been lucky when they were having their extremely voluminous sex a bit before. Almost everyone had been either in class or at intramural flag football practice while Alexa and Dean were at their loudest.

"I figured. And, if I didn't care, I might would take you up on that offer. But I'm at the point where It really matters to me how you feel and what you think. As weird as it is to say, it's true."

Dean nodded again, a thoughtful look permeating over his face.

"So we're not boyfriend and girlfriend yet, but we're headed in that direction?"

Alexa grinned, nodding in the affirmative. "We are! And I think the only reason we aren't 'official' yet is because I do think it's a good idea to actually do some non-Greek related things together first. And, if I do slip and introduce you as my boyfriend, just roll with it, k?"

Dean snickered. "I guarantee I will not have a problem with you calling me that."

"Aww," Alexa bemused brightly. As the two resumed their short journey out into the world, it didn't escape Dean Ambrose that the tiny blonde he was becoming so fond of had her hand hooked in his elbow, and that she didn't seem to care who saw them act like a couple.

As they approached the front door, Dean's phone went off in a miniature cacophony, with the particular sound it was making tipping Dean off as to who was making contact.

"Shit," he muttered to himself, "mandatory surprise meeting at KD as soon as class is over. We still getting together after practice?"

Alexa grinned and nodded. "Yep," she chirped, kissing him quickly on his chin. "I'll see you then!"

With that, Bliss split off from her man, needing to hurry if she was going to make it to her class. As he watched her walk away, Dean Ambrose asked himself for the three thousandth time how he'd gotten so lucky.


Ruby Riott awoke from her deep slumber to both a strange sensation and the sound of light giggling in her ear.

"The fuck?" She mused internally, unable to place what was happening at that moment. Before she could piece it together, however, she realized exactly who the cheerful laughter belonged to.

"Shotzi, knock it off," Ruby continued, attempting to bury her face into her pillow and forget that she was having to face her day.

"Aww, you're no fun," Shotzi returned, nibbling on Ruby's ear again as she pressed her body against Riott's from the other side of the bedspread. Planting a playful kiss on Ruby's cheek, the eccentric emerald-haired young woman allowed Ruby to raise from her bed.

"I told you about that," Ruby continued, rubbing her ear. "Stop being weird."

"I can't," Shotzi observed. "Weird is what I fuckin' do."

There really was no denying that fact. From the first minute Ruby had met Shotzi, when the tiny little green-maned manic ball of energy had moved into her apartment and turned her life upside down, "weird" seemed to become the order of the day.

They'd originally met not long after Ruby'd begun working at Black Mass Tattoos. Her boss, a scary seeming but fairly congenial Dutchman named Aleister Black, immediately took to having Ruby around to keep track of the finances and helping him prep customers to be inked. Only a day or two in, Shotzi burst into Ruby's consciousness by loudly storming through the shop's front door with a big friendly greeting and a hug to Black that Ruby found curious.

"Ruby, this is Amanda, but we usually call her her stage name."

The green-haired young woman extended Ruby a hand. "Shotzi Blackheart."

Ruby's eyes widened in a mixture of shock and curiosity. "Stage name?"

Aleister nodded, before gesturing to Shotzi to explain.

"Yeah," she returned. "I'm in a metal band with Aleister and a few other friends of ours. We play the Southern metal scene a lot. Athens, Greenville, Asheville, Atlanta, even some in West Virginia."

"What's the name of the band?" Ruby inquired as she attempted to gather her thoughts after this deluge of new information.

"Deepwater Demons," the other girl fired back.

"Sounds mellow," Riott quipped, noticing for the first time that Shotzi's eyes were wandering all over her tattooed body.

"So evil you can fall asleep to it," Blackheart fired back, the grin growing wide on her face.

Ruby chuckled again. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Shotzi," the jet black haired girl chirped, as brightly as would be acceptable for her to say.

"Likewise, babe," Blackheart replied, before winking at Aleister, who was watching the exchange with amusement.

In the present, Ruby scooted to the edge of her bed, suddenly conscious of the fact that she was only clad in black underwear and her favorite BLACK VEIL BRIDES t-shirt.

Snickering, Shotzi playfully swatted her roommate on the backside, prompting a shocked squeal.

"Stop, Shotzi," Ruby pleaded softly, though deep down she didn't mind the well-intentioned playful nature of her unexpected new friend.

"I can't help it. I didn't think being friends with Aleister would end up getting me such a sexy-ass roommate. Literally. Your ass is sexy, and I like the view I have of it right now."

Ruby rolled her eyes and slid a pair of black cutoff denim shorts up her shapely legs and to rest where they belonged before threading a heavily riveted leather belt through the loops and selecting a buckle from a drawer in her armoire that appeared to be filled to the brim with them.

"Iggy and the Stooges? Nice," Shotzi observed.

Ruby grinned and nodded. "Yeah, my adopted brother Dean got this for me a few years ago. It's my favorite one."

"And he's the one you're going to see this weekend?"

The taller, darker haired of the two nodded in the affirmative. "Yeah, my adopted family is coming up from Tampa. It's 'Parent's Weekend' at Stamford U this weekend and I've made some friends over there. Wanna get up there to see mom and dad and Dean and Roman and the rest of them. I heard my oldest brother Matt is coming, too. Bringing his wife and their little girl."

Shotzi smiled, a genuinely warm feeling washing over here. "That's really cool, Ruby. Family's awesome. I wish I saw mine more, but they're on the other side of the country."

"Yeah," Ruby sighed, trying to contain her internal glee, "I got really lucky. My bio family, from what I remember, were giant pieces of shit. I went into the foster system before I graduated elementary school. I met Dean in a group home, then we ended up together at a few fucking rotten foster homes, and then we ended up with the Reigns family. They loved us well. Still do."

Shotzi nodded. "I'm glad you're getting to see them." She sighed deeply, staring at the ground momentarily before continuing her train of thought. "I know I come on a little strong-"

"Ya think?" Ruby retorted suddenly, though she was mostly kidding.

Blackheart snickered again. "It's just really nice to meet someone who doesn't meet me as a metal singer first. I feel like I might have a chance to get to know you as a person, and my… let's call it a burgeoning interest in the same sex got the better of me."

Ruby considered this a moment. "Understandable," she finally concluded. "I'm not gay, though."

Shotzi shrugged. "Neither am I. I like getting railed too much for that." Ruby chortled at Shotzi's continued brazen honesty. "But I hooked up with a few girls on tour over the summer, and I found that I REALLY enjoy it. If you're not into that, I'll leave you alone and we can just be roommates."

"That would probably be best," Ruby asserted. "I mean, you're hot, but what if we were to start banging and then it gets weird? I'd have to find a new roommate, and I feel like we might be really good friends."

Shotzi sighed, finally comprehending that she wasn't going to get her way this time. "That's fair. But if you decide you want to start experimenting, holler at me."

Ruby rolled her eyes, but gave a friendly chuckle. "Absolutely."

With that, the conversation turned to what Ruby needed to get done before she left to go visit her family. Shotzi listened gamely and smiled, but inside there was a growing desire for intimacy with her new roommate…


"What the fuck?" That's all Dean could muster in his mind at the moment. He found himself taking in the slightly absurd, patently surreal situation around him. Packed into the ground floor chapter meeting room, no less than twenty KD pledges sat or kneeled in rapt attention as their pledge educator, Daniel Bryan, did his best not to berate the class of initiates for some of the ignorant questions he was getting from what he saw as an unkempt herd of steaming freshman dipshits.

"...no, Otis, we don't normally have reps from other houses just burst in and make proclamations mid-party. That's actually a violation of the Greek Council Honor Code. We could've reported them, but then Ambrose and Brother Wilder decided to start throwing hands and everyone involved decided to just walk away."

The big man nodded, pondering this a moment. "Okay. I jus' seen this cartoon one time where the different houses ran in durin' the shindig and started talkin' shit."

Brother Bryan snickered and shook his head. "You mean that horseshit cartoon someone's animating and posting on Youtube that's clearly written by someone who's never been to college, let alone in a Greek organization?"

Otis glanced his eyes from one side to the other. "Uh, yeah."

"Fuck that show," Bryan spat. "Three hundred episodes of bullshit."

"Uh, I think there's only like a hundred," Tucker Knight interjected from his perch against the wall. As a brother, he had the right to sit it on any pledge session.

Bryan chuckled. "Ah. So it only feels like three hundred because the characters always spend ten minutes at a time telling each other they love each other every single chapter?" The room broke up with laughter, remembering the story's main character crying when he proposed to the female lead.

"Bunch of pussies on that show," he continued. "Dude gets to have a threesome on spring break and cries about it after. What a bitch."

The laughter around the room grew louder as the KD personnel in the room snickered at what a ludicrous idea that seemed to be.

"Enough with the chit chat over some chick show. Down to business," Bryan continued forcefully, the eyes in the room focused on him again. "This weekend is parents weekend. Now, since all the actives have had at least one opportunity to display what degenerates they are to their families, we usually leave the planning of this event up to the pledges."

Several freshmen scoffed in disbelief, though Dean and Roman both opted for silence. After a moment, another pledge that Dean had only met a few times but knew by the name Chad Gable, spoke up defiantly.

"Brother Bryan, no offense, but no one here joined a Frat to-"

His glib statement was cut off by the enraged eyes and quaking form of Daniel Bryan. "What the fuck did you call it, pledge?"

"What?" Gable asked, truly flabbergasted.

Instead of addressing Gable's transgression directly, Bryan turned his gaze to the entire room. "Let me make one thing perfectly clear to every pledge in this room; we do not refer to Kappa Delta as a 'frat.' Would you call your country a cunt? No? Then don't ever shorten the term that defines what we are. Understand?"

A stunned Gable stammered, shaking his head in shock and confusion. "Uh, I think so."

Bryan smirked, which Dean had gleaned meant someone was in trouble. "Well let's make sure; Bows and Toes, everyone!"

A collective groan echoed throughout the room. After one or more resentful gazes at Gable, the entire Pledge class assumed the ordered position.

Enjoying the power he'd been given over the crop of Freshmen, Bryan smirked arrogantly as their straining groans began in earnest.

As Daniel continued berating the pledges, Dean's arms began to burn. Gritting his teeth, the freshman did his best to let his mind go to his happy place; somewhere quiet with his tiny blonde lover.


By that Friday afternoon, just about everyone involved was simply ready for parent's weekend to be over. Which wasn't good, since the benchmark event hadn't even officially started yet. A few sets of parents had begun arriving at the ZBZ house, mostly staying in the lobby until the official events began. Never one to skimp on refreshments, Trish Stratus had coordinated a wonderful spread of finger foods and libations for the adults, who spent the first hour or so swapping stories of their daughter's achievements while sipping champagne and nibbling at assorted macaroons with the ZBZ logo prominently displayed.

Alexa Bliss was no exception. She'd just received a text from her mom letting her know that she'd be along in a half an hour or so, and the tiny blonde's heart skipped a beat at the prospect of reuniting with her mother. In all the drama surrounding her parents' divorce, she'd become closer with her mom than she had ever been, though her move to Florida made it hard to see Monica on a consistent basis.

"Perfect," she thought to herself as she applied the finishing touches to her hair and makeup from her familiar perch in front of her large, yet not at all surprisingly sized vanity. "As though there was any doubt." She smiled, revelling in how easily she commanded her own presence, before her bedroom door swung open violently and her roommate completely upended the afternoon's relative tranquility.

"Lexah!" The chestnut haired whirling dervish blurted, thrilled to death to see her best friend. Without warning, the girl threw her arms haphazardly around Alexa's dainty neck, drawing a sharp inhale of shock from the blonde.

"Nikki! Hi! Don't mess up my hair, please!"

"Sorry," Nikki continued, releasing her ZBZ sister from her vise-like grip. "I'm just so happy to see ya without yer new man here."

Alexa giggled, before nodding her acknowledgement. "Yeah, he is here a lot, isn't he?"

Nikki rolled her eyes playfully, kneeling next to her friend and taking in her own appearance before resting her head on Alexa's shoulder. "You're so pretty, Lexi," Nikki continued, her thick Scottish accent twisting around her words in a manner Alexa actually found adorable.

"Thanks, Nikki," Alexa cooed, trying not to let Nikki's usual over affection bother her in any way. Nikki had had something of a sheltered upbringing, as her mother was a diplomat and her father had taken off when Nikki was just a little girl, leading her mom to try to protect her from the outside world even more. As a result, Nikki had graduated from one of Scotland's finest boarding schools with no real friends to speak of, and had imprinted Alexa as a sister-like figure almost immediately after they met. Alexa still fondly remembered Nikki beating the detergent dispenser in the basement laundry of Guerrero Hall with her bare fist, cursing up a storm because the machine had "eaten" three quarters without producing any soap.

"Is your mom coming?" The blonde continued, trying again to ignore Nikki stroking her hair gently, before sweetly fut firmly taking Nikki's hand and setting it in her own lap, a friendly but firm smile on her face. "We talked about that, Nik. We have boundaries, yeah?"

Nikki pouted, not completely understanding why Alexa wasn't responsive to her affection. "I'm sorry, friend, it's just good to spend some time with yah."

Alexa hugged Nikki tight to her, causing the Scottish girl's soul to warm considerably. "It's okay, buddy," Alexa returned, "just remember what we discussed. I'm not always okay with people in my bubble, but I love you like family and I'm always happy you're around, okay?"

Nikki nodded and grinned, the imaginary slight already behind her. Inwardly, Alexa breathed a sigh of relief. A large part of her first year at Stamford had been spent teaching Nikki what was and wasn't okay when it came to personal space. Nikki had no experience in such matters, and Alexa had awakened several times that term finding Nikki snuggled next to her in bed or staring at her as she slept. Nikki was harmless, and had the best heart Alexa had ever known, but she'd had to put a lot of work in when it came to the Scottish girl's sense of propriety.

"Okay," Nikki crowed, rising to her feet. "I'm excited to meet yer mom," she continued. "I know this is the first time she's been able to come see the house, and I want to make a good impression."

Alexa nodded and smiled again. "I've told her all about you, and what a good friend you are. Just don't tackle her like you do me when you meet her, okay?"

Nikki pouted again, though this time her sadness was even more exaggerated. "Fine."

"Okay, buddy, let's go," Alexa offered finally, checking her appearance one final time before offering her hand to Nikki. Smiling, Cross took Alexa's hand in hers, letting her lead the way to the main floor, where both Monica Bliss and Dr. Aileen Cross would soon arrive to reunite with their daughters…


This is the end of part one. Part two will go here. When it's ready. Which will be soon. Hopefully. Read and Review.