(My) Love Shall Set You Free
Chapter Six
Dalven Kyrell hadn't changed a bit. Where Thane was kind, Dalven was a bully. Where Thane was brave to the point of recklessness, Dalven was cautious to the point of cowardice. Watching him avoid direct engagement all throughout the battle filled Ciena with rage and secondhand embarrassment.
Ciena thought she'd grown beyond the cruel taunts of Dalven Kyrell. In reality, his words were one glance away. A single look at him transformed her; she was ten years old all over again.
Jayn, the coworker beside her, noticed Ciena struggling. "You okay?" Her sight flipped between Ciena's eyes and the screen in front of her. "Who is that?"
"My brother-in-law." Ciena spoke through gritted teeth.
The university student squinted at Dalven's Imperial uniform. "I heard you married a rebel pilot."
"I did."
"Oh." Jayn shrank back. She didn't continue right away. "The war did some, um… some terrible things to families."
Ciena drew in a deep breath. "Yes it did."
Jayn leaned in with a conspiratorial air. "My friend Kacie is on Naboo right now. She interviewed a woman whose son had joined the Empire. She hasn't heard a thing about him since Jakku. Kept insisting he was the sweetest, gentlest boy anyone could ever meet. She yelled at Kacie for, like, thirty minutes when Kacie told her her son was a war criminal."
Of course she did. That was a horrible way to approach a grieving mother. Ciena hoped other interviewers had more tact in the field. "Was her son a fighter in Jakku?"
"Yeah. The last ship he served on was called the Inflictor."
Ciena froze at the invocation of the ship's name. She evaluated Jayn's demeanor to figure out if the girl was prodding her on purpose. Nothing about the twenty-year-old's body language suggested she understood the significance of what she'd just said. If she didn't know, Ciena wasn't about to tell her. "I'm not in charge of examining Jakku footage. If someone here unearths that man's fate, it won't be me."
Then, unable to stop herself, Ciena asked, "What was the man's name?"
"Akash Varma. Kacie said it's a pretty common name on Naboo."
Great. Ciena did know who that was. Why did she do this to herself?
"Why? Did you know him?"
Ciena fought to keep her expression under control. Honor dictated she should never lie, but Ciena had grown used to disingenuity over the years. "I think we crossed paths once." She turned her attention back to her computer screen, a clear sign the conversation was over. Ciena tagged Dalven in the system and moved on to the next person.
Radar Technician Varma had been a sweet guy. Soft spoken and a pushover, but sweet nonetheless. Ciena would always remember him for breaking down crying in apology after a repair took longer than expected. All she knew of his current whereabouts was that he'd made it off the Inflictor safely. Judging by Jayn's comments, the New Republic hadn't found him yet. He must still be with the Empire's remains, then.
A shame. The Imperial remnants were no place for someone like Varma.
Familiar faces plagued Ciena's imagination throughout the afternoon, slowing her work down. Inside, she groaned with frustration. It was the last day of the work week, and Ciena was so close to tagging every last Imperial in the second invasion of Naboo. Determined to finish before going home, Ciena didn't budge even as the rest of her coworkers left.
The university library never closed. She didn't need to leave anytime soon. Besides, it wasn't like she had anywhere to go except home. There was nothing for her to do in the apartment except eat, sleep, and beat herself back into shape.
A wrinkled hand landed on Ciena's shoulder. She grabbed the arm on instinct, pulling her attacker down until-
"Oh dear me! Mrs. Ree, please be gentle."
Mortified, Ciena released Dr. Cricklin from her hold and swiveled around to face the professor. She stood with her head low. "I'm sorry, Doctor. Did I hurt you?"
Dr. Cricklin drew the offending arm back, pushing up the red frames of her glasses. "Not at all, dear. I'm sorry I startled you. I just came down to let you know you don't need to work late. You've already made a great deal of progress, and I'm impressed with what you've accomplished so far. Why don't you enjoy your weekend? Take a night on the town!"
"I'm not one for the nightlife, Doctor."
"Visit a park or a museum then. Hanna City is a wonderful place. It has so much to offer for a young person like yourself. I appreciate your dedication to the project's mission, but you're wasting your youth on unpaid overtime."
Ciena shook her head. "I really don't enjoy going out. If you'd like me to log off for the week, Doctor, I will."
Dr. Cricklin watched her with a discerning eye. "You weren't happy at the Senate party, either. You knew not everyone was excited to see you, and it kept you from having fun."
"I've never liked extravagant parties, but that one was… especially difficult. The next day, I regretted attending at all." Ciena wasn't sure she should be admitting this much to her boss, but it was hard not to. Dr. Cricklin had a way of understanding people. Despite knowing her past, she never seemed to judge Ciena. On the contrary, she openly defended Ciena to people who implied she didn't belong here. The genuine compassion she brought to every encounter was something Ciena wished she could muster.
Dr. Cricklin pursed her lips. "I did see the article the Chandrila Daily Digest wrote about you. I wish I knew who told the press."
"I don't. I wish it hadn't happened. Now I just want to move on."
"Looking back… one thing I observed about the Empire was the constant suspicion the state had of its people. Assigning ISB agents to every ship, setting up large webs of surveillance to spot traitors… many Imperial service members developed a similar tendency. It wasn't their fault; that's the way society worked for a time. People saw threats on all sides, and that led to them either drawing back from or lashing out towards people who meant no harm at all." She took a deep breath in and out. "It's been seven weeks since that article was published. The galaxy is vast, my dear. I promise you aren't being watched as closely as you may feel you are."
Was Dr. Cricklin suggesting people had forgotten about the article? Because that wasn't true. "Jayn remembered what that reporter said about me."
"Miss Pline sits next to you three mornings a week. She has reason to want to know about and talk to you." Dr. Cricklin made a second attempt to touch Ciena, this time patting her on the arm. "People can be kind if you let them, dear. Get rest first if you must, but Hanna City is home to many wonderful sights. It'd be a pity to live here without experiencing them."
Ciena's heart sank as Dr. Cricklin tapped her heels away, disappearing down a dark hall. As she shut down her equipment and made the trek back to her speeder, both conversations she'd had today echoed in her head.
She hadn't always been this way. Ciena could remember a time when nothing had been more exciting than exploring Coruscant with her two favorite roommates. Despite the hectic pace of their work, Nash had always found time for her off-shift on the Executor. They'd frittered many a night away playing cards and telling jokes. The nicest memories Ciena had of him were the times he'd tried and failed to teach her sabacc. No matter what the game called for, Ciena had never wanted to bluff. Bluffing was too close to lying in her book.
Then her whole life turned into a bluff. Ciena's card skills skyrocketed, but her eagerness to play vanished. The sooner people learned how to spot her tell, the sooner Ciena was imprisoned for disloyalty to the Empire.
Or loyalty, as it turned out. Prison had a way of killing her interest in the outside galaxy. What did it matter what the distant stars looked like? Ciena would never visit them. What did it matter if she could find Jelucan's home star in the sky? Her family couldn't reach her here. Without the ways of the valley to guide her, Ciena had nothing but broken promises and shattered hopes.
Thane had done a lot for her, but he couldn't fix this. He'd lifted her out of her physical cell. It was Ciena's turn to break free of her mental one. It would be hard; she'd been in the same headspace far longer than she had been in prison. But if Ciena were to have a future in the postwar world, she needed to bring back her traditions and return to a new way of life.
Waiting in traffic, Ciena soaked up the city landscape in earnest. Coruscant wasn't an appropriate comparison, but it was the only frame of reference she had for a city whose beauty came from urbanness. The tall spires, the flashy neon, the music blasting out the doors of dance clubs… the electric atmosphere came from more than just generators. It passed through the people as well.
By the time Ciena parked in front of her apartment, she still felt the energy thrumming in her fingers. It was too late to research museums downstairs, and Ciena didn't have the money for anything expensive, but visiting a green space would be nice. Even a metal jungle's approximation of nature could be healing.
Here's to hoping Ciena's energy didn't abandon her before morning.
Ciena woke with only a glimmer of the optimism she'd had last night. Climbing out of bed was a process riddled with delay. By the time she'd scrambled onto her feet and into an acceptable state of dress, it was midmorning. She dallied making breakfast as well; once food was on the table and ready to eat, nearly half the day had gone by.
She was still going out today. Dr. Cricklin was bound to ask her about it when she came in for work, and Ciena's stomach turned at the thought of another lecture. She was blessed to have such an amazing boss. The worst thing Ciena could do in return was disappoint her.
Ciena perused popular tourist locations on the downstairs computer. She had no interest in seeing any of the New Republic government buildings, and she'd already crossed nightclubs off her list, but the park in front of the Hanna City Opera House looked nice. Ciena could still remember studying Core World operas all those years ago. Just seeing a poster was bound to bring the music back into her mind.
When she got there, Ciena discovered her light jacket was ill equipped to handle the breezeway leading up to the entrance. She crossed her arms over her chest each time the wind came through, trotting briskly into the sunshine of the park next door.
The whole day changed when she stepped out into the light. Buildings blocked the wind, children laughed by the fountain, and the grass shone a brighter shade of green than the spot by where she'd parked. The park was a tiny area squeezed between skyscrapers, but it had a serenity to it. A valley of peace between mountains of chaos.
Ciena wandered the park's perimeter aimlessly, a vacant smile on her face. Her grin disappeared when she thought a man was watching her, but he approached the woman behind her and lifted their shared kid from her hands. Ciena watched them for a moment, stuffed her hands in her pockets, and continued her walk. Seconds later, her smile came back. Maybe she really was forgotten by Chandrila.
After three laps around the park, Ciena sat on a bench in front of the fountain. She leaned forward with her eyes closed, letting the faint spray of water touch her face. Were it not for the sounds of traffic and crowds, Ciena could almost be sitting before a waterfall.
"Excuse me?"
Ciena didn't hear him at first. She'd been working on zoning out the noise when he approached her.
"Excuse me? Serena?"
Her eyes flit open, turning towards the source of the voice. A man was standing a meter away from her. With the sun to his back, his face was in shadow. Ciena had no idea who he was, but his red hair… it reminded her of someone. That sheen of red kept her from fleeing.
"Who's asking?"
Somehow to him, that translated into an invitation to sit on the opposite side of the bench. "It's me, Toby. We met a few weeks ago at the Chancellor's place."
Sitting down brought his face into focus. Without as much sun, the red in his hair dialed back to a coppery shade of brown. He no longer looked familiar to Ciena. "You're someone Thane knows?"
"Yeah, I got him invitations to the party. I'm a chancellor's aide. A junior one," he added for explanation. "I don't actually see the chancellor very often. It's mostly an errands sort of gig. But it does have some perks."
Ciena wanted to ask him why he was talking to her. Unfortunately, that seemed rude. She went with a milder question. "What brings you here?"
"I like this park. It's only a few blocks away from the Senate buildings. There's a bigger park right in front of the Senate complex, but it tends to get crowded. This one is a bit calmer." He watched her with unguarded eyes. "I don't think I've seen you here before. If I have, I'm sorry for not recognizing you."
She shook her head. "It's my first time. I'm still exploring the city."
"That's nice. What sort of places have you visited? Any you like?"
Ciena hesitated, then listed a few places she'd been with Thane. "They're all fine, but I didn't grow up in a city. It's been years since I lived in one for very long."
"You should try the Chandrila countryside sometime. To the south of Hanna City is the coast, and to the north of Hanna City are some mountains. Nothing steep, but they're fun for an amateur climber. Are you a mountain girl or a beach babe?"
Ciena blinked, answering Toby's question with her own. "Did you grow up on Chandrila? You seem familiar with it."
Toby nodded, adjusting his gray scarf. Ciena saw his New Republic name tag underneath for the first time. His first name was actually Tobias. "I was born here. I moved to Coruscant when I was eighteen in hopes of getting my foot in the door for a Senate job. Then the Empire dissolved the Senate, and I spent a year or two trying odd jobs in government. One of the advocacy groups I joined had Alliance connections. That's how I met Chancellor Mothma, actually.
"Thane told me you were born on Jelucan, just like he was. There are a lot of mountains there, right?"
"There are."
"So you are a mountain girl. Good to know, good to know."
Ciena sized Toby up just like he was her. This man was a career politician in the making. He was humble right now, but working for the Chancellor was no beginner's gig. Thane must have gone to him when he was trying to adjust Senate bills. She should ask him about that. "How do you and Thane know each other?"
"I learned of him through a mutual connection of ours. During the Alliance days, she referred to herself as 'Countessa.' She was one of the rebel politicians who made use of the group where I worked. Thane and I never met face to face until after Endor, though. It was a fast friendship. He's just that kind of guy, you know?"
Ciena offered the barest of smiles at that. "He was the popular one when we were kids."
Toby's face grew serious. "He asked me to check on you, Serena. I didn't forget; you just never answered when I came by. I figured I would try again later, then I got busy and…" he shrugged, defensive. "I kept my word, okay?"
"Ciena," she corrected. "My name is Ciena. When did you come by?"
"Right. Sorry about your name. I'm usually good at names." Toby had to think for a second. "My girlfriend and I came by your place… two days after Thane returned to deployment. All the apartment lights were off when I pulled up." He furrowed his brow. "Where were you?"
Ciena answered without thinking about it. "I must have been asleep."
Toby shook his head. "It wasn't that late in the evening."
Well, this was awkward. She didn't want to tell this politician how much of a blur her first days without Thane were. It was embarrassing enough when no one knew about it.
Ciena shrugged. "Maybe I was out, then. It was a while ago."
"That's true." Toby seemed content to leave it at that. "Maybe it's good that I ran into you here then. I'm working today… I need to get back soon, actually, but tomorrow is my day off. Do you want to hang out with my girlfriend and I?"
She hesitated, glancing back at the fountain. "I don't want to crash anyone's date. I have no idea what you promised Thane, but don't feel forced to include me."
"I promised Thane that I'd do my part to make you feel welcome on Chandrila. Spence will be cool; her uncle's a defense attorney for high-profile Imperial prisoners. She's used to that sort of crowd." Ciena caught Toby examining her face through the corner of her eye. "Maybe you two can go makeup shopping together."
Ciena turned back to face Toby, disguising her flinch as she did so. "If it's okay with your girlfriend, I'm willing to meet her. We can discuss what we want to do when all three of us are together. When and where do you want to meet?"
"We'll stop by your place around lunch. Be ready at noon." Toby stood, sweeping his black trenchcoat across his chest as he stood. "It's good to meet you again, Ciena. I'm glad you're enjoying the city."
Ciena nodded, ignoring the pit of dread forming in her stomach. "Enjoy the rest of your day."
He laughed. "I doubt it."
It was a long walk back to Ciena's speeder from the park. Ciena had been planning to stay longer, but making plans to go out again tomorrow meant she needed to prepare in solitude. Recharge.
Rethink what her judgement was telling her.
A/N's: I've given up trying to figure out how long this fic will be. I know where it's headed, but there are a few things I need to set up before I get there. I'm frustrated that the setup is taking so long. I hope it's not too boring for readers and that it will be worth it in the end.
In happier news, Claudia Gray said in a recent interview she wants to do a canon Lost Star sequel. She wants to set it during The Mandalorian time period. Nothing is confirmed, but it would be awesome if she were able to do it. Lost Stars left off with plenty of room for a sequel, and her version would probably come out a lot better than mine.
Until then, I have this fic. Hope you all enjoyed the update. I appreciate the support I've received in this journey. Believe me when I say it does motivate me. Have a good day, everyone!
