CHAPTER EIGHT; The Ballad Of The Taxidermist

In which Durham goes to the meat market. almost throws up, and meets Gouhin, Legoshi is confronted, Miguno is acceptable at games, Collot is suspicious, Ryan is awkward, and Jack is adorable. Thankfully, not in that specific order.

"I think… Legoshi's probably asleep," admits Miguno as we walk towards the dorm.

"Yeah, probably. Do you think we should wake him up, or..." I start.

"Actually, I think he'd be more willing to talk after a good night's sleep."

"You're right," I say, not really pondering it. I think I'd probably like to sleep, too. I almost wonder if I should ask to sleep next to Miguno, because I bet it would be nice, but I decide not to. I really want to give him a gesture that'll make his head explode.

Luckily for me, Miguno simply asks, "So, wanna keep playing Wilderness Breathing Simulator?"

I nod. "Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. I like watching you play, to be honest."

Miguno smiles. "Hey, you're not just watching me! It's our game! We're playing together."

"Yeah, sure," I say with a snort. Miguno rolls his eyes, because clearly I just don't understand!

We get back to the dorm, where everyone is sleeping, except for Collot. He whispers "hey," to us, his phone light visible through his curtain.

"Yo," Miguno says, and I just nod, before realizing that he can't see me from behind the curtain.

"Hi," I say somewhat awkwardly, a couple moments later than I should have.

"How'd band practice go?" Collot whispers.

"There wasn't a drummer. We kinda just gave up on practice. Everything else was also kinda shitty," Miguno sums up.

"Yikes," Collot says sympathetically, despite the fact he wasn't there.

"Yeahhh," I say, sounding rather defeated. I didn't realize how tired I sounded until my voice hoarsely creaked out the word.

"I'll let you guys sleep now," Collot decides.

"Thanks," Miguno says, winking at me.

I raise an eyebrow in confusion, and say to Collot, "We're just going to play games."

Miguno puts his head to his palm for some reason, and I don't quite understand it.

Collot chuckles, and says, "Don't fall asleep together this time!"

Miguno rolls his eyes. I realize now why he wanted to make it seem like we were going straight to bed, even if his narration would make it clear that we were awake.

Miguno and I crawl into his bed-area. He almost instantly turns on his console, and the game is booted up fully only a couple of second later.

He's climbing up a tower-thing right now, but a bunch of wizard-y guys keep shooting lightning at him. I suggest using magnet-magic on a treasure chest to hit the wizard guys with the treasure chest. Miguno does this, killing the wizards, and continues up the tower, as I smile upon his progress.

But I'm not too focused on it. Already, my eyes are flitting. I'm also shivering, feeling quite cold in my admittedly light jacket.

Miguno turns towards me and looks at me.

"Dude, you need a blanket?"

"No..." I say, my chattering teeth betraying me.

He grabs one of his three blankets, and chucks it at my face. "Catch," he says, after it has already hit, causing me to giggle quietly. He also chuckles.

Despite my resistance, I wrap myself up in the blanket, which is still rather cold, but should warm up soon from my body heat. I notice that it smells like Miguno, and I snuggle in further, every breath bringing me more of his scent.

I think that I might actually love everything about him.

His face, his focused eyes, his expressions, his laughter, his kindness towards me in giving me a blanket that he himself would probably want to use… It's amazing to me. I've never really noticed these things in people before. In the past, people were always just kind of there, and the ones who I got along with were the ones I liked.

"Ugh, you know what I hate?" Miguno asks me, initiating a conversation.

"What?"

"When the room watches porn together. I feel like Collot and everyone kind of view it as a bonding experience, but I'm never really into it," Miguno admits.

"Yeah, me neither. I tend to just chat on my phone through it," I say.

"Me too," says Miguno with a chuckle.

"Though, it kind of makes me feel ashamed sometimes," I admit.

"How so?" asks Miguno, raising an eyebrow. He looks really cute whilst doing that. It scrunches up his forehead a bit, making the spots all smallish and rippled-looking.

"I guess that, um, the others kind of see me looking disinterested, and always ask if like, the porn's not good enough, and if we should watch a different one, and if something's wrong, etc. I guess I don't want them to worry about me or feel down about it."

"Yeah, I find it best to just kinda tell them I don't feel like it today. Then they don't bug me about it," Miguno suggests.

"That makes sense," I admit, although I'm not sure why they bug me about it in the first place. Sometimes I feel like I'm just too young, but then I remember that I'm not 14 anymore, and that I'm almost an adult, which makes me feel weird. It's like I haven't matured as much as I should have.

"So, the reason I'm bringing it up is just like… I don't know. I guess I feel kind of like an outsider in the room," Miguno says absentmindedly. "Oh, hey, a shrine!"

"Nice. And, I don't think you're an outsider. I mean, you're not Legoshi, who barely talks to us," I say, trying to get where he's coming from.

"No, that's not what I mean- Um, I'm obviously still friends with everyone. I guess I think I'm kinda different from them, and I don't like that about myself?"

"You're not that different from everyone else, you're just better them is all," I say, feeling like the wording sounds almost sarcastic.

"That's probably not what I need to hear, but thanks, Durham," Miguno says, chuckling even more. I listen to the melody of his laugh, and the smell of his blanket, feeling comfortable.

"Dude, you just missed a chest in that pond!" I point out, and he quickly doubles back around to grab it.

"Shock arrows. Nice catch, man!" Miguno looks very excited to have these arrows. I feel absolutely shocked by how good at seeing stuff I am.

"I might be a coyote, but I have eagle eyes!" I point out, smiling.

"Give them back to whatever eagle you stole them from," jokes Miguno. "They're probably pretty angry without them."

"That may be," I state, "But I think I need them more."

"Doubt it," Miguno responds, his eyes continuing to flit around the screen tirelessly. "You're already a looker," he flirts subtly. I pretend not to notice, but if he'd looked at me at that moment, I would be redder than a beet with a sunburn.

I sigh, smiling at him. My blush fades, and I start to feel tired and comfortable.

Though the game is exciting, and Miguno starts a boss battle, which he keeps losing, I'm actually feeling rather tired and relaxed. I don't know when it happens. As I'm starting to fade off into sleep, and all of a sudden, Miguno and I are lying down next to each other like the night before tonight, with him still playing his game while he talks quietly about whatever is going on in his life. I feel slightly mad at myself for not caring much, for not listening carefully, but his voice is too nice for me to get emotional about much of anything.

I close my eyes, immersed in his scent, and his voice, in my mental image of him, and in his majestic presence.

And then, I find myself fast asleep.

Of course, I don't remember what I dream about. I don't usually remember it, and the rest of the time I just remember small fragments. And it wouldn't be interesting even if I did remember it.

And so it feels like in an instant I am awake, the area still dark. I don't know what time it is, but I can tell that it's quite early in the morning. I want to get up, but I don't want to wake up Miguno, so I keep lying there.

He's next to me, curled up in a blanket of his own. Covering both of us is the third blanket, which is the largest. I can feel his body right next to me, though I can't see it, or feel it's warmth, as he is curled up quite tightly in the blankets.

I realize that it's rather cold in here, much colder than it should be, feeling my face practically burning with the cold. I'll have to ask around and see if the heater's broken or something. If it is, that would be unfortunate.

Curling up further into the blanket, I pull out my phone and check the time. It's only 5:19 AM.

I put away the phone, and try to fall back asleep. It doesn't work, so I pass the time just resting and being next to Miguno. A couple of times, he mumbles in his sleep, but none of it makes sense.

When Miguno finally wakes up, he looks at me and smiles widely. "It's rather cold, isn't it?" he remarks.

"Yeah… I think that the heater's broken," I say.

"Damn," Miguno says. "In that case, we should go eat breakfast early."

"I'll go get into my school uniform," I say, hopping out of Miguno's bunk. Before the curtains close, I notice him grabbing my blanket. A blanket which served me well, in my opinion.

I hop into my bunk and get dressed quickly, so as not to freeze. I put on my coat overtop the uniform jacket.

Getting out of my bunk, I look at Miguno, who is also dressed up. We both put on our shoes and head out of the dorm, nobody else even awake yet.

Heading down to the cafeteria for breakfast, Miguno looks up at me.

"So, what exactly are we going to ask Legoshi?" Miguno asks, reasonably.

"Mm. I think, something along the lines of, 'Legoshi, you mentioned having a therapist? Are they the kind that helps deal with meat addiction?'"

Miguno almost cackled. "That's way too forward! Legoshi would have a panic attack, and he'd want to know why we're asking!"

I hadn't thought of that.

"Okay. Um, maybe we just tell Legoshi about Ryan's situation and see if he brings anything up?"

"That could work," Miguno says, as we enter the cafeteria. Only a few students are there yet, and they all look very sleepy, except for some of the more nocturnal students, like the bats, who, unlike many of the other animals, e. g. wolves like Legoshi, were never really able to transition to being awake during the day.

Miguno and I sit down after grabbing some breakfast. We chat absently while we eat, and slowly wake up a bit. Then, we browse the internet some on our phones.

Eventually, the rest of the 701 boys join us, Legoshi being the third to arrive. Miguno and I nod at each other, and engage Legoshi in a conversation.

"Hey, Legoshi!" Miguno says.

"Mm?" he asks.

"Um, we wanted to know if you had any ideas about something… um… one of our friends from outside of school-" I start.

"His name's Ryan, and he's in the band," Miguno clarifies.

"Yeah, well, he has a bit of a problem."

Legoshi nods, seemingly only half-listening.

"Um… it's been really tearing up the band, so we want your suggestions. Because, um, Ryan's been dealing with… how do I phrase this? A meat addiction?" Miguno asks.

Legoshi looks like he's about to choke. "Wh-why would I know anything about that?" Legoshi asks, not particularly smoothly.

Miguno and I raise our eyebrows perfectly in sync, much to Legoshi's dismay. Apparently, we put up a unitedly skeptical front.

Legoshi sighs. "Okay, um… I guess I do have a suggestion… but he won't be particularly happy about it."

"Who won't be happy about it? Ryan?" I ask, highly curious of the answer.

"He won't be happy about it either," Legoshi admits unhelpfully.

"So… what's your suggestion?" Miguno asks quietly.

Legoshi looks down at him with sobering eyes. "I know a therapist, named Gouhin, who specializes in treating meat-addicted carnivores. He lives in the meat market and keeps tabs on everyone and everything there. If they look particularly dangerous, or like they can be saved, he… beats them up and locks them away until they renounce meat. But he also knows a lot about therapy and medicine. He sounds really bad, but he knows what he's talking about."

Miguno shook a bit. "I'm not going to go there," he says, frightened.

"Probably for the best. So, can we forget I ever said this?" asks Legoshi, to which I respond, "No, I'm still going. Ryan needs help."

Legoshi looks doubtful. "He might beat Ryan up… Don't you think Ryan can sort it out on his own?"

Miguno and I look at each other, realizing that we've both decided the answer is no… without consulting Ryan at all.

"We're going to offer it as a suggestion to Ryan," tries Miguno.

Legoshi sighs. "I really don't want to take you there..."

I smile, and poke him between the eyes. "Hey Legoshi, how come you met this Gouhin character in the first place?"

"Well, um," Legoshi starts mumbling incoherently.

"Why were you in the meat market?" I try.

Legoshi looks angry and panicked, which upsets me, because he's the one who went there in the first place. He doesn't answer, and just says, "Okay, I'll bring you and Ryan if he wants it."

Miguno texts Ryan, and almost quickly gets an affirmation. "Ryan says he's on too much coffee and he doesn't think he'll ever be able to sleep again unless he gets help."

"Wow, that's dramatic," I comment offhandedly, feeling like a bit of a jerk afterwards.

"Just because you don't get it," mutters Miguno.

Legoshi sighs. "I don't want to do this, but fine. I'm only doing this to help out a friend."

"Okay. Glad we have that determined," Miguno states.

Jack leans in. "By the way, can I also come along?"

Everyone jumps. "When did you get here!?" Legoshi asks, fidgeting nervously.

"I've been here the whole time. I've just been blending into the crowd. Legoshi, don't tell me you've been running off the black market?"

Legoshi looks down in shame.

"Ugh, whatever. As long as you're not buying anything there, it's fine by me. But I want to come along and be a part of your adventure!"

"Jack, I don't want you to see-"

"Nonsense," Jack says, smiling determinedly. I get the sense that he has no actual desire to come to the meat market, but he desperately wants to be nearby Legoshi, which I understand.

"It's fine be me," I say calmly.

"See? It's fine by Durham," Jack says, leaning into Legoshi. Legoshi leans back, almost looking afraid of the small dog. "So there," concludes Jack.

"But- Jack-" Legoshi starts, trying to make a sentence come out of his mouth, but it won't.

"Legoshi, please!"

"Jack- Um, er, Jack, um, I think..."

"Legoshi, you don't even know how to argue against it," Jack reasons. "You just don't want me coming along, but I think I've already made it clear that I don't accept that as a good reason."

Legoshi whimpers and curls up, defeated and looking like a kicked puppy.

Jack looks satisfied.

The streets outside of the black market are not particularly ominous or shady. In fact, if you didn't know what to expect, you wouldn't know what was over here.

Ryan, Jack, Legoshi and I all met up there two days after our conversation, for today was Saturday and we were now free.

"Hey. Um. Thanks for doing this. We don't even know each other well, so I'm not entirely sure why..." Ryan starts.

I start to feel oddly defensive, as if I'm being a weird person for trying to be nice in this kind of way. That also doesn't make sense to me, but I might be overdoing it.

How do I tell if I'm overdoing it?

"Oh, it was mostly Miguno's idea. And Legoshi's the one who knows the therapist. Um, speaking of which… This is Legoshi," I say, pointing at the tall, lanky wolf. Ryan is about the same height as Legoshi, but a bit smaller, so they look upon each other at eye level.

"So… how did you meet this therapist?" Ryan asks curiously.

Legoshi looks like he's about to choke, but he stands up taller and points at Jack, saying, "That's Jack. He's a dog."

Ryan nods, seeing that Jack is, in fact, a dog. "Neat."

Jack smiles, and shakes Ryan's hand… er… wing? "It's a pleasure to 'meat' you!" he says, his teeth shining a bright white under the streetlights.

"Is that a pun?" asks Ryan, looking somewhat nervous.

"It wasn't intentional," Jack says.

"But… you emphasized it," I point out. Legoshi nods.

Jack rolls his eyes. "Fine. Yeah. It was intentional. Happy?"

Ryan shrugs, Legoshi doesn't respond, and I nod.

"So, Legoshi. I think you should tell us more about this therapist," says Jack. "Give you some time to cool your nerves, while we're at it."

Legoshi nods to Jack, mumbling hushedly the words, "Good idea."

And then Legoshi doesn't talk. We stare at him awkwardly for a second, before Jack motions to continue.

"Um… well, my therapist's name is Gouhin. He's a giant panda. Um, he's really strong and big and tall. Eats like, a ton of bamboo a day or something? I don't know. It's not particularly nutritious, so he has to eat a lot… But, um, that's not the point, is it?" Legoshi trails off with a question.

"Personality?" Jack asks, helping Legoshi along.

"Mm. He's… a lot. He acts tough and boisterous… well, he is tough and boisterous. But, um, he's also extremely caring and determined? And… well, he might not be philosophical in the moment, but just talking to him, you can tell he's spent years thinking about stuff. He's got it figured out, in a way." By the end of his speech, Legoshi's talking with some confidence. It's interesting how he talks. I think I like to focus on it, because it's more noticeably strange than my way of talking, even if Legoshi's makes more sense? Maybe?

He's not just shy, or something like that, it's a bit of an enigma… Sometimes, he can talk and chat without pausing or seeming uncomfortable. Sometimes he hangs out and talks with the other canines, and he doesn't seem to have a problem talking to girls. But sometimes, he just can't talk, and he's always pretty quiet.

I don't know if I empathize at all, but it's certainly interesting to watch.

Ryan looks at Legoshi, thinking. "That sounds useful. I'm hoping he's not the kind of therapist who just preaches at you. Those really… only seem to help with small problems."

Legoshi nods. "I've never really been to therapy, but I know what you mean." Jack smiles and nods along too.

I sure don't get it. Why would anyone go to a therapist that preaches dumb solutions to your problems? Who in their right mind could focus on that? It sounds much worse for small problems, too. It would be frustrating either way, but when dealing with big problems, it would be comforting.

Maybe I'm just thinking about it all wrong, like I usually am.

Legoshi sighs. "Okay. We're going to need to avoid all of the shops and stalls. Make sure to stick together. If anyone looks shady, avoid them. Especially you, Jack. There's a lot of large carnivores here, and you know that a lot of them hate dogs."

Jack looks down, still smiling. His tail stops wagging. "I know. I don't think anyone's going to try to hurt me, though… I'm not worth hurting in the first place."

I want to say something reassuring, but I don't know how worth and value are calculated. For all I know, he could be worth nothing. If that was the case, I'd feel dumb for saying he's worth a lot.

Legoshi looks at Jack, his eyes sad. "They're not mad at you for existing, they're mad at themselves for not being as good as you. They're only lashing out at you," Legoshi says, surprisingly wisely.

Jack nods. "Yeah."

Ryan shakes his head suddenly, in a similar manner to how Legoshi or Jack shake off water.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

Ryan nods, but doesn't panic. "I'm starting to smell the meat… It's… not the same as before. Earlier, it made me salivate, made me excited… but now I almost feel like someone drained all of the chemicals out that help me process touch… and I want to throw up."

Legoshi nods. "I know what you mean."

Jack and I are very confused, though. "The chemicals… that help you process touch?" I ask in confusion.

"I don't know," Ryan says, head in wing-hands. "I just… I feel disconnected from my body. I can feel, but it's not the right kind of feeling."

"That's concerning," Jack admits. "Legoshi, how much of the market will we have to navigate in order to get to Gouhin?"

"About… a third of a kilometer?" Legoshi guesses. "We can walk there in five minutes, maybe."

"Let's go," says Ryan.

All four of us walk into the alleyway, the narrow streets feeling like a trash compactor or some other claustrophic, crushing location. All around us, smells which I find myself actually liking, almost making me feel like dancing and drooling, are bombarding us. Not every store here sells meat, I notice as I look around. Between the brightly-lit streets, filled with carnivores and market stalls, are several stores that sell things like clothing or bamboo.

I'm not entirely sure why people would choose to shop in an area like this, but even despite the grit, despite the mildewy smell overtop the meat, despite the long-forgotten laundry hanging on clotheslines overtop us, and the faint smell of sewage, I find myself seeing a bit of the charm.

It's colorful. Animals are laughing. There's a couple dancing on a balcony above us. Music comes from many corners, where folks young and old hang out by the side of the street, waiting for life to pass them by or catch up to them.

And there's eating. The stalls range from butchers which sell raw meat, to restaurant-style locations selling "sausage sandwiches" and "authentic, pre-herbivore style ethnic cuisine." Friends sit next to each other on steps and benches, eating what could be their murdered friends, or could be their friend's grandmothers from a retirement home. And the friends sit there, not caring, not realising that they are the scum of the earth, nothing but a weight upon the world. But maybe that's not how they think of themselves. Maybe that's just how I've always felt.

I find myself feeling strong, not even particularly desiring the taste of meat. Maybe it's because I prefer scent over taste, anyways. Jack too looks to be having the same thought process as me, his face a mix of disgust, wonder, and superiority.

Legoshi and Ryan look very different. I notice a lot of animals looking at Legoshi with confusion and anger, but Legoshi just looks pensive and complacent. Ryan looks around fearfully, his mouth watering slightly, darker circles than usually under his eyes. The dark circles are impressive even among vultures, who most animals treat with a small sense of disdain.

And then, I start paying more attention. I don't know what snaps in my head, but I start to realise that there are animals lying on the ground, high to death on drugs laced with poison, elsewhere, there are dead bodies on display, and maybe opposite that, there are people fighting and drawing blood.

As I start to feel like the walls are closing in around me, I see a store that is drawing a lot of attention. Animals yelling at the owner, animals yelling at the animals yelling at the owner, and…

I feel my heart sink, sink all the way into my stomach- heck, my heart sinks all the way into my intestines.

In front of the store, on opposite sides of the door, are three figures each. They don't make sense to me. They're not being eaten. They're not even herbivores. A headless hyena, leaking stuffing. The head of the hyena on the body of a lizard, with bird's wings on the back. A cheetah's head ripped in half, and then merged with a signifigantly larger tiger's head, making it bumpy and deformed.

Feeling like I'm going to die if I keep looking, I stare at the ground. This must be what Ryan was talking about. Although the Hyena on display wasn't a spotted hyena like Miguno, and there was little resemblance, it still makes me feel panicky. I feel my head moving to check again and make sure it's not Miguno there, but I stop myself.

I can tell that this is upsetting to others roaming the streets of the market from the screaming and the arguing. Even still, the owner of the store can be heard making business deals with… some sort of gang. They killed the leader of another gang, and want him preserved stuffed with cotton. To leave a "lasting impression," says one of the gang members.

I close my eyes and try to close my ears, but ears don't work like that, so I angle them away. We keep walking in silence for another minute, a minute where I'm no longer watchfully keeping track of my surroundings, before Legoshi finally and thankfully says to us, "We're basically, um, here."

We turn around into an alley, and Legoshi opens one of the first doors, ending up in a run-down looking doctor's office type place, with ominous staircases leading upstairs and downstairs. On the counter where a receptionist would usually exist, is simply a pile of paperwork and a metal muzzle. Legoshi grabs the muzzle and puts it in his pocket. He then turns to the rest of us.

"I'm going to go fetch Gouhin and tell him about this. If I don't come back, tell Haru I loved her," Legoshi jogs off, going up the stairs.

"Haru?" asks Ryan.

"Long story," Jack says bitterly. He looks thoroughly pissed, which is surprising to me. It's not an expression that fits his face- and his face seems aware of this fact, quickly readjusting into a smile.

"Holy shit," I whisper, my throat constricting.

Ryan sighs. "Did you… see the store?"

"I think so. Holy shit," I say again, barely able to keep standing. I quickly walk over to one of the chairs by the wall, and sit down hard.

Jack looks confused. "What… are you talking about?"

I try to explain it, but I can't talk, my voice creaking.

Ryan turns to Jack. "It's a place that sells stuffed animals," Ryan says.

Jack raises an eyebrow. "That's not so bad, riiiiight- hold on. The catch is that the animals were alive once?"

Ryan nods. "And it's not even limited to small animals. These are for show, on the side of the street. Large carnivores."

Jack shudders. "I'm glad I was watching my feet during the last third of that walk."

Ryan nods again. "Do that again when we come back."

We keep waiting for a bit. I regain my posture, normalizing my breathing. I hadn't even realized how irregularly I was breathing- quickly for a couple seconds, then ten or so seconds without a breath, and then quickly again, and then normal for a bit, and so on and so forth. Stabilizing myself, I prepare myself for the return of Legoshi.

After almost ten minutes, Legoshi calls down from presumably the top of the stairs, saying that we can come up and see Gouhin. I hear a much older, more adult voice grumble something or other, but I'm just really excited to move, because I don't like staying still this early in the day.

Treading carefully up the stairs, I hear even more grumbling. At the top is a panda, even taller than Legoshi, and incredibly, mind-bogglingly, make-Hollywood-jealous-y, buff.

His muscles are visible through his yellow t-shirt, and they're large enough to practically make him twice as imposing. I don't know if his legs are muscly, though, because he's wearing loose jeans.

"Which one of you needs me?" the panda, Gouhin, asks grumpily.

Ryan shyly raises a wing, his dark feathers looking dusty and horrid in the run-down, dimly lit doctor's office.

Or maybe he just is dusty and horrid. That would suck.

Gouhin sighs. "Kid, because you came here willingly, I don't get to beat you up. And that really sucks."

Ryan shrugs nervously. "Yay me?" he tries. Gouhin doesn't laugh.

"So. How much are you willing to pay? I'm entertaining most offers," Gouhin says sharply.

Jack looks at Ryan in confusion, who looks at me in confusion, and I look at Legoshi in confusion, who looks at Gouhin in confusion. Gouhin just looks confused at the universe in general.

"Pay?" Legoshi asks.

Gouhin looks at Legoshi angrily, but tries not to yell or something like that.

"Of course he needs to pay. When I went after you, you didn't have a choice in the matter. It wasn't a service, so I didn't charge you. But these nuisances want me to work for them. You know, like a therapist? Usually, when carnivores come in twice, I charge them for repeat visits. You never did a second round of therapy, so to say, so I never ended up charging you. Really, you're only worth my money because you help out sometimes."

"Um. Oh," Legoshi says awkwardly.

"So. Payment?" asks Gouhin.

"Um… my allowance is 600 yen," Ryan says.

"I don't have an allowance!" Jack says chipperly. "My parents take all my money and put it into college savings." He sounds happy from his tone of voice, but his tail stops wagging and his smile fades a bit.

I shrug. "Um… I guess I'm willing to pitch in 200 yen?"

Legoshi looks dejected, but doesn't say anything. He probably doesn't want to spend money on someone he doesn't know, which makes perfect sense to me. I don't really want to spend any money on Ryan either, but I'm trying to be polite. Miguno's going to reimburse me halfway, though. I'll make him.

Gouhin brings his hand to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head slightly. "800 yen won't cut it. That's not a living wage," he complains.

"Ah," says Ryan. "So… I guess this was a waste of time."

Gouhin looks angry at himself, but he says aloud, "We could work something else. If you could get your friends to do some work for me while we talk, then maybe I won't mind so much..."

Ryan looks pained, no idea what Gouhin means, so he decides to asks, "What do you mean by work?"

"Woah woah woah!" Gouhin says with an evil grin. "Your two friends there-" he starts, pointing at Jack and I, "Have to agree first."

"Would this just be a today thing?" asks Jack, tilting his head.

"Weekends, until Ryan's done."

Legoshi looks very nervous, I notice. He opens his mouth to speak, but before he can, Jack says, "Sounds like fun! I'd be happy to help out, Mister Gouhin, sir!"

I shrug. "I'll try to help out too."

Legoshi gulps! "Jack, no!" he says with conviction, shooting daggers at Gouhin, who just smiles back at Legoshi.

Legoshi looks down and then remembers me. "Uh, don't agree to it either, Durham, I guess."

"Wow, nice to know you care about me so much," I joke, because I don't actually think that's the point.

Legoshi sputters and stammers something about that not being what he means, but I don't care enough to listen. I just want to hear what Gouhin has to say.

Gouhin taps his foot impatiently. "Durham and energetic dog kid. Follow me to my office. Legoshi, keep an eye on Ryan. Make sure the windows are closed. If the smell of meat wafted in, it would defeat the purpose, no?"

Legoshi sighs and mumbles, "I guess."

Jack looks at Legoshi triumphantly, as if he's won some sort of battle. I don't know what's going on between them. Is Jack trying to prove himself or something?

Gouhin leads us down the hall to some sort of small office room. It's mainly filled with paperwork, although there's an ominous set of chains attached to the wall.

What the hell kind of therapist is this Gouhin anyway? Therapists are supposed to be soft and gentle, and Legoshi's brought Ryan to an aggressive, ominous figure in the meat market! Looking around closer, I start to see more details. There's a crossbow hanging on the wall, claw marks in the desk, an open window letting in the smell of meat…

"Who are you!?" I ask, feeling quite dumbfounded.

Gouhin chuckles. "Legoshi's worst nightmare."

Jack chuckles in response, saying, "Yeah, that sounds right. Knowing Legoshi, I'm guessing that he ended up here after a series of improbable accidents, and then kept coming back for some stupid reason?"

"Woah! How did you know?" Gouhin says with a fake-gasp. Despite his seeming good spirits, he still sounds aggressive and determined, his eyebrows lowered and his voice several decibels above Jack's.

Jack rolls his eyes. "I think Legoshi's a masochist. He's really impulsive with his actions. Did you know that he once attacked his friend Bill in the middle of a play, when he was supposed to be reading his lines and stuff? I don't entirely remember why."

I look between the two of them, starting to feel frustrated for some reason. Get to the fucking point!

Why am I mad? I've got time.

Gouhin shakes his head, smiling evilly. "I'm going to have to ask him about that. Maybe even… tease him… just a little bit. Make sure he never forgets it."

Jack shudders. "That's taken care of. He has massive scars on his back as a result… Those won't fade."

"Huh," Gouhin says. He looks at me.

"You're awfully quiet," he observes.

I shrug, looking down at the floor. Gouhin's gaze doesn't seem particularly judgemental, but it still feels like it's burning a hole through my person.

"I'm… not normally this shy… I'm not sure what's come over me," I say, anxiety starting to flood towards my mouth, threatening to erupt like a volcano. I think that I'm afraid of Gouhin. The smell of meat isn't helping, I realise, but I also note that I can do something about that.

"Could… you close the window, please?" I ask him seriously.

Jack looks at me with concern. "You okay, dude?"

"I'll be fine," I say, as Gouhin gets up and shuts the window. I watch Gouhin intently, his muscular body moving confidently and quickly, his very breath sounding aggressive.

Gouhin sits back down, his attention back on me. "I'll give you some time to adjust," he says, starting to actually sound a bit like a therapist. I guess I realise that he doesn't really have any obligation to treat us well yet. We're stupid teens barging into the back-alley market, burdening him. Even still, as he turns to Jack, I can tell that he's not a bad person. He's just… imposing.

Gouhin asks Jack some questions about him, like his age and how long he's known Legoshi. All of that noise just seems to turn into static inside of my head, though.

I don't get it. How is Jack already starting to click with this person? I almost feel envious. I thought I was doing so well- I'd been able to make friends with Kai and Dom pretty quickly. But they were just like me in a lot of ways. On comes this random panda who's nothing like him, and Jack's already laughing it up. Of course he is. He's a dog. Oh so sociable and affable! Not a care in the world.

"You seem like a good influence. I almost hate to ask this of you, Jack. And Durham, you're here too, I guess. Hope I get to know you better in the future. But, I have… a request. Well, you're going to have to do it whether you want to or not, but I'll just say it's a request," Gouhin starts.

"Go on," Jack says, and I nod along with him.

"I'm not sure if you saw it on your way here, but, as of late, a new store has opened up in the back-alley market. It provides a service to gang leaders and the like, stuffing their enemies with cotton or wool and turning them into some kind of trophy. This initself wouldn't be a major problem, but the owner insists on showing off creations. Nobody in the market knows where these bodies are coming from. Sometimes, the unused bodyparts are found rotting on the street. The dead carnivores are on display, and they're causing a large fuss. Fighting all the time. Violence surrounds the place, and makes the market even more dangerous. Though it may be resulting in less traffic here, which is good, it's turning the place shadier, more desperate, more filthy. The owner is, however, a komodo dragon-" Jack's ears perk up curiously, though his face remains blank- "and they seem mostly unstoppable. Many of the bodies on show have pained expressions, and clear signs of death by venom. It's clear that this dragon is going out of his way to kill victims, and show them off by himself. If this is the case, then he is much more dangerous than the gangs."

"There's a lot of mystery surrounding it. Why is it so open to the public? Who is on display? Where does it get other taxidermy materials, like wool and the chemical-y things they use to preserve dead bodies. I don't know what they are."

Jack looks sick, but I feel even sicker. My mouth is dry and my fur is on end. Jack manages to say, "...you want us to figure that stuff out?"

Gouhin, we're teenagers, not vigilantes or beastars or something. Even if we were adults, you shouldn't put us up against a komodo dragon! How the hell are you a therapist, aren't therapists supposed to be responsible!?

That's what I want to say aloud, but my mouth remains still. I don't want to do this. Or, maybe I do? I can't figure it- fuck, I can't think about how I feel right now. I don't know how to describe it to myself. I can't even figure out what I think, even by doing more thinking! My body's here in this office, but where the hell am I!? Maybe I'm just afraid?

Gouhin nods. "Yes. I'm aware that you are just children, so I'm not going to make you fight anyone. But I need information, and Legoshi's busy training most of the time."

Another surge of rage. You know we're just children, but you still want us to do this!? I stare at Gouhin, hatred spewing from my eyes, but Gouhin doesn't really seem to care.

"Training?" Jack asks, the moment of fear and dread and anger broken by the strange revelation.

"He's got like, some sort of fight or something on New Years. I dunno. He's been training combat and doing vigilante work in the mean time."

Jack looks deeply perturbed, but decides not to comment any further. "Why… do you need us to do this? It doesn't sound necessary. Or even… useful?"

Gouhin rolls his eyes, his voice getting louder and more aggressive through the next explanation. "There are several reasons- amongst them, I can tell that making you do stuff around here bugs Legoshi. Pissing off Legoshi is my favorite passtime right now, because he's been pissing me off for almost an entire year!"

"I also find myself feeling desperately curious. And lastly, I'm somewhat worried that this… taxidermist character may attack someone like Legoshi. Not because Legoshi's particularly dangerous to them, but because Legoshi tends to chase after dangerous criminals, and he couldn't win a fight against a komodo dragon."

Jack looks like he wants to rebuke this last statement, but catches himself at the last minute, leaving Gouhin and I looking equally confused. Jack shrugs and blushes nervously, and simply says, "That… does sound pretty bad!"

He's a lot less worried than I feel like he normally would be. He's also processing this better than I thought he would. He's not panicking from hearing about Legoshi's training, or his fight or whatever. He just looks… strangely resigned.

I don't know how I feel about any of this. Maybe I'm just not good at contextualizing feelings. I'll probably feel empty and depressed and confused later, but right now, I'm still just vaguely scared of Gouhin, my mouth hanging slightly open like the door to a room nobody ever came back out of.

"So," says Gouhin, looking extremely, and befittingly, smug. "Want to help me piss off Legoshi? You in?"

Jack nodded slowly. "If it means I can help out Durham and Miguno's friend, then sure?"

"Who's Miguno?" asks Gouhin, confused.

"He's one of our friends! He's a hyena!" Jack says chipperly. I feel awkward, because I don't want to tell Gouhin anything about Miguno for some reason I can't pinpoint.

"He's… really nice, and he's even more adorable than Jack," I say, trying to come up with something.

"And we all know I'm extremely adorable," Jack says, in a somewhat self-mocking tone. It's like he's patronizing himself. It's weird to watch, but I don't know why he's saying it like that.

"You definitely are," says Gouhin.

"Good boy," I say, smiling evilly. Jack's tail always starts wagging extremely quickly when anyone says that, and his tongue sticks out a bit, his ear twitching.

"Noooo… Stop!" Jack says happily.

"Never," I respond coolly, almost forgetting about Gouhin's gaze upon us. I sigh, and say to the therapist, "I'm in as well. And I'm going to make sure that Miguno comes along, because Ryan's his friend."

Gouhin tilts his head. "You're… doing this for someone your not friends with?"

I sigh. "Well, I'm kinda friends with him. But I've only ever met him at Miguno's band practices, and he's usually quiet and awkward and creepy. I don't think he's a bad person, though." I add the last sentence, more to remind myself. I am starting to think things through more, my head straightened out some. I don't know if I actually want to do any of this. Why am I going along with this?

I'm just doing it for Miguno and Jack, really. Only came here because Miguno didn't want to, only agreed to this because Jack did too. With this realisation, I start to hate myself even more. I want to be the kind of person who can reach out and be nice to Ryan just for the sake of it, but I'm doing it to make Miguno happy. Maybe Miguno will be more likely to go out with me if I do this for him.

I hate myself for thinking that last thought. Am I just doing this to gain something?

I realise that I'm not even just doing it for Miguno. I'm doing this for nobody but myself. Or maybe I'm overthinking it. Does everyone else think I'm a bad person? I swear I'm not trying to be a jerk!

Gouhin beckons towards the door, telling us to come back in a week to start our "mission."

I'm almost out the door when I remember something important. "Um, Doctor Gouhin, sir? What… what time next week? Noon?"

Gouhin rolls his eyes as if I'm stupid just for thinking that noon could even concievably work in any version of the universe. "Come after dinner. Prepare to be awake all night."

"Ugh," Jack says. "No thanks. I need sleep."

"Sorry, but you shouldn't do this during the day. You two both have light fur. It'll be easy to see you in the sunlight, and you two don't want your presences to be known." Gouhin says this very seriously, and I can tell he doesn't want us to get hurt. I don't think he's responsible or anything like that, but it's clear that he's thinking this through, which is a step above my initial impression.

"Oh," says Jack.

I nod carefully. "Fine, then. After dinner it is."

"Now, go fetch Ryan," Gouhin says. "I'm going to beat that meat addiction out of him."

Feeling a bit alarmed by his wording, and generally dejected, I sighed and left. On the way out, I couldn't help but feel like I too belonged in this area, this place for the scum of the Earth.


AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Sorry that this chapter took so long to come out! I had to rewrite this chapter several times. I couldn't really figure out how to write Gouhin in a way that reflects the manga, and I kept writing Ryan in a way that made me want to rip off his head. In addition, this plotline feels somewhat silly to me, and I'm the one writing it, so I had to work to make it a bit less insane, and I'm going to have to keep working on it.

Ultimately, I don't want to make Gouhin seem irresponsible by endangering Jack and Durham. I also don't really want to involve Legoshi, because he's going to be fighting Riz and moving into the hidden condo soon, and that would make things difficult to write. If anyone has suggestions for how to do Gouhin justice, please do tell. I love his character a lot in the manga. I'm also not entirely sure how to write Jack from Durham's point of view, because I want to make it clear that Jack is going through something, but Durham's not good at contextualising that. Hopefully I didn't overdo it- if Durham's oblivious-ness towards Jack reads more like disregard for him, that would suck.

I am not going to continue this author's note much longer. I think it would be annoying of me if I spent this last section just talking about how awful I personally think I am at writing. So, in conclusion, the main thing that ACTUALLY needs to be said is:

Chapter One rewrite today or tomorrow. Chapter Two rewrite within 3 days. Chapter 9 within a week.

Adieu!