Author's Note: I do not own Zootopia. The rights are too damn expensive! Rated M for violence, language, drugs and sex.

Chapter Eight: Jack Attack

Savannah Central

"Stalinist puppet regime! Roll back the Iron Curtain! Tear down the wall! Alright Fraulein, that's quite enough!"

"Pfft," Nick, Judy and Finnick tried to hold back their laughter as they watched their footage from the consulate go viral. "Here's the part where they kick us out," said Judy. "I will not be silent," shouted Judy in the video as the badger was seen trying to calm her down, "Free Eastern Europe! Better dead than red!" "That's around when I snuck in," said Nick. "Just keep watching," added Judy, "it gets better."

"Don't grab me Charlie," Judy barked at one of the soldiers in the video, "My body's my property! Learn some respect for me! I am a strong, empowered bunny doe!" "Hahahaha," Nick laughed even harder. Then he saw what looked like Judy kicking a skunk in the stomach and muttering something about personal space or something. Then it cut to her chanting 'better dead than red', and 'tear down the wall', really loudly while Finnick added some peppered commentary.

"They actually think this bitch is fuckin' whacked," said Finnick, "I bet they just want to grab some of that carrot cake. I know I do!" "Finnick," said Nick angrily. "Wait," interrupted Judy, "here comes the best part."

The video showed Judy doing some nonsensical chant as she broke from the custody of the badger, skunk and the wolf soldiers and darted for the flag that was posted in the corner of the room.

"But our flag was still THERE!" she scream sang as she leapt for the flag while the skunk and one of the soldiers tried to catch her. "Listen to the winds of change! Riding on the winds of CHAAAAANGE!" Judy ripped down the flag and was knocked down by the soldier. "Get your filthy paws of me commie," barked Judy at the soldier, "you may not seize my means of production!"

Nick, Judy and Finnick all burst out laughing. "This has gotta be the second most fun thing we've done all week," said Nick. "Don't push the envelope, slick," said Judy, knowing he was talking about last night's sexual encounters.

"By the way," said Nick, "you about ready to move in with me? I'd actually really like that." "I bet you would," said Judy, "but in all seriousness, I'm gonna need to buy a lot of new things, considering almost all of it got blown up this morning." "Anything to help out my carrot cake," said Nick as he kissed Judy on the forehead, "by the way, since I've got Danny watching Finnick on the night shift," he continued, "I thought I'd go ahead and plan another extra special evening."

"Thanks but no thanks," said Judy as she smiled, "I'm not really in the mood to get it on tonight." "Not that," said Nick in a somewhat serious tone, "it's, uh, something else." "Like what," asked Judy with deep interest. "Look carrots," said Nick, "it wouldn't work if I told you now. You just have to trust me on this." "Alright," said Judy, "I'll accept your little invitation." "Good," said Nick, "now I'm just gonna need a couple hours alone."

Savannah Central

Nick stood in Emmit Otterton's flower shop, trying his best to keep his composure. "C'mon Emmit," said Nick, "it's for Judy! You have to give me a better deal than that!" "It's called supply and demand," said Emmit, "and I believe you know all about that. Oh," he continued, "I saw that video of Judy on Zootube a minute ago. I showed it to my employees and they laughed their asses off."

"Glad you like it," said Nick, "I talked her into it as part of a case." "I wouldn't exactly call exploding on foreigners and putting it on the internet good policework," said Emmit. "We weren't exactly investigating," said Nick, "she was more of a distraction than anything else."

"What were you doing in the East Germammal consulate anyways," asked Emmit, "it's not like you could arrest anyone that works there." "Okay, okay," said Nick, "Judy was simply providing a distraction for the stormtroopers guarding the building so I could sneak into that bastard weasel's office." "Sounds illegal," said Emmit, "but then again, they call you and Judy 'outlaw cops' for a reason."

"All I did," said Nick, trying to explain himself, "was politely demand that Wiesler and his goon squad leave Zootopia for their home across the Atlantic before we actually can do something to him." "Don't think he'd like that," said Emmit. "Not after I shot his fish tank," said Nick, not caring about the very disappointed look on Emmit Otterton's face.

"And then there was this psycho bunny," added Nick. "Not a very nice way to refer to your girlfriend," commented Emmit Otterton. "I'm not talking about her," said Nick, "this time."

"I'm talking about," continued Nick, "I'm talking about the arctic hare that the weasel must've hired to kill me and Hopps or something." "Who said anything about killing," asked Emmit. "Well," said Nick, "lighting his ear on fire as a show of strength gave me a good hint."

A few minutes later, after Nick had caved in and bought the purple tulips for the price that the otter was asking for, he decided he'd take the scenic route back to the precinct. This caused him to make the unfortunate mistake of walking into an alley, where he was jumped by a small mammal who was surprisingly a lot stronger than him.

Nick collapsed onto the pavement, dropping the flowers. Then he turned around and saw the same arctic hare from earlier that day. "You again," he said angrily to Jack Savage, "leave me the fuck alone." "Sorry old chap," said Savage as he kicked Nick in the jaw, "can't do that!"

Wham!

"That's assaulting a cop," said Nick as he drew his .45, "you aren't getting away from this!" "Watch me," said Savage as he grabbed Nick's shooting arm and twisted the gun out of it.

Nick pulled himself up and clawed down onto Savage's face, giving it a good scratch. But Savage just took a step back, spit onto the pavement, and grinned. I don't like that look, thought Nick as he noticed Savage reaching into his suit jacket.

Savage took out a combat knife and swung it at Nick, who quickly dodged the deadly blade by swaying to his left, falling to the ground. Then as Savage prepared to stab Nick, Nick grabbed onto his paws and held on with all his strength.

"I'm not dead yet," grunted Nick as he fought with Savage for control of the blade. "Do you wish to bet," grunted Savage as he pressed his weight down, with Nick just barely moving his abdomen out of the way in time.

Then Nick flipped Savage off him and rolled the assailant onto the ground, where he began punching him in the face. "It's over Savage," said Nick, "you ain't killing me!" "I still have to kill your old friend," taunted Savage as he pushed himself out from under Nick. Then he did a martial arts pose, ready for a strike, and said, "And the bunny too! It's a damn shame you like her too much."

As Savage leapt at Nick, Nick rapidly drew his nightstick and whacked the hare like a baseball. "And stay the fuck down," barked Nick as he limped away.

ZPD Precinct One

"I know it's weird and all," said Judy to Tyler Stripervich, the rookie liger, "but can I ask you for some perspective, being interspecies and all?" "Aside from the fact that mother is a lioness and my father is a tiger," said Tyler, "I really don't have any insight on what's going on between you and Officer Wilde."

Bzz! Bzz!

Judy heard her phone ring, and noticing it was from Nick, picked it up. "Carrots," said Nick from the other end, "are you okay?" "I'm just fine Nick," replied Judy, "why?" "Oh nothing much," said Nick, "just got the living crap beat out of me by some psycho bunny that Wiesler must've hired to kill us. Just checking in. See you at the apartment."

Nick hung up quickly, which both made Judy and Tyler sense something was off. "Psycho bunny" asked Tyler confusedly, "is he talking about you?" "I don't think so," said Judy, "he sounded pretty beat up. I should probably go check on him."

East Germammal Consulate

"Das gerät außer Kontrolle (This is getting out of hand)," said Wiesler to Wolfenstein, "Sie hätten nicht in der Lage sein sollen, so an der Sicherheit vorbeizukommen (They shouldn't have been able to slip b=past security like that)." "Was machen wir wohl? (What do you suppose we do)," asked Wolfenstein, "Denkst du, wir sollten eigentlich packen und gehen? (do you think we should actually pack up and leave?)"

"Herr Savage," said Wiesler, "er sollte nicht so scheitern (he wasn't supposed to fail like that). Alle drei dieser Bastarde sollten inzwischen tot sein (All three of those bastards should be dead by now)." "Also gehen wir nicht (So we're not leaving)," asked Wolfenstein. "Natürlich gehen wir (Of course we're leaving)," said Wiesler, "Aber wir müssen unser ganzes Geld mit nach Hause nehmen (But we're going to need to take all our money back home with us)."

"Dafür braucht es viel mehr als nur ein paar Seesäcke (It'll take a lot more than just a couple duffle bags for that)," said Wolfenstein. "Ich werde mir darüber Sorgen machen (I'll worry about that)," assured Wiesler, "Meine Freunde in der Nationalen Volksarmee haben uns ein Flugzeug besorgt (My friends in the National People's Army got us a plane). Sie bekommen das Angriffsteam auf Hopps und Wilde (You get the assault team on Hopps and Wilde)."

Wolfenstein grinned and said, "Wenn Sie darauf bestehen, Sir (If you insist, sir)." Just as Wolfenstein walked out of the office, Wiesler added, "Und finde diesen Söldner für mich. Ich muss mit ihm sprechen. (And find that mercenary for me. I need to speak with him)." "Jawohl," said Wolfenstein as he exited the office, looking forward to taking out Hopps and Wilde his way.