Chapter 8

He ran into Mary at the pharmacy of all places. He didn't know why, but it wasn't a place where he pictured Mary Crawley. He, wrongly, assumed that she had people to do these types of things for her. His eyes immediately fell to her stomach, which had grown since he had seen her nearly 8 weeks prior.

Quickly moving his eyes from her belly, he glanced up and gave Mary a smile. He tried not to think about the fact that now Anna would be twenty-one weeks along and over halfway through her pregnancy. It still hurt. He was doing better than he had been eight weeks ago, but he still ached for what he had lost.

"Bates," Mary warmly smiled. "How are you fairing?"

He smiled in return, "I'm doing fine. You?"

"Alright." Her hands that had been resting on her belly dropped, as though she realized it might upset him. He wanted to tell her not to do that, but he didn't.

"Have you…" John paused. Should he even ask about Anna? But it didn't matter, Mary knew exactly what he had been planning on asking.

"No," Mary's smile now faded. "No, I haven't. She….well, she'll come back when she's ready, I suppose."

"You just keep her plants alive," John awkwardly joked, inwardly kicking himself. Mary nodded.

"It's what I do. Although, last time she was away for a very long time there were no plants to care for. This is definitely the longest I've had to care for them. A few have died," Mary's lips twisted with the thought.

"Oh," John murmured.

"She'll never know. I replaced them. I've probably replaced twenty plants over the years and she has never noticed."

"You said she was gone a very long time before. How long exactly was that?" He asked Mary. He kept glancing around everywhere he went hoping to see Anna. He had only texted her one more time, a couple of weeks ago, but she hadn't responded. He wasn't on any social media, so if she posted anything, he wouldn't know where she was.

"Hum, 8…no, 9 months," Mary stated. John felt himself deflate. "She had just gotten her new job with Yoke and Egg. She disappeared without a trace. I didn't hear from her until she returned and she pretended as though she hadn't just left me…well, I mean Yorkshire, for all of that time. Since then she has left for a month here and there. Sometimes that has been a genuine need for her work, but others…well…" Her words faded away.

"May I ask why she runs away?"

"You can, but I won't tell you."

John nodded. "Why did she disappear for 9 months?" He tried a different question. Mary stared at him for a moment and he could tell that she was questioning whether or not she should tell him.

"Someone she was close to died," Mary simply answered. "This person was like a mother to her. She couldn't handle it. She disappeared the day before the funeral. It broke the woman's husband's heart that she wasn't there."

John let out a breath and he felt heavy.

"It's not healthy," Mary went on to say. "She doesn't know how to handle her emotions well, Bates. I've tried to convince her to go to therapy or talk to someone, anyone, but she refuses."

"I see."

"As I said before, it's best you move forward."

"You haven't," John pointed out. Mary moved her head around and then just lowly laughed.

"Yeah, well I guess I'm a glutton for punishment."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

Anna had managed to make it through her trip in Edinburg without a hitch for the first several days. However, as each day had passed, she found herself more and more saddened. There were reminders of her everywhere. The woman who had taken her under her wing, showed Anna love, and helped encourage Anna to follow her dreams.

It had been the first time that Anna truly trusted someone, completely and earnestly. And she had earned Anna's trust by always being there for her.

Anna blinked, thick tears formulating beneath her eyelids. She hated this feeling of hopelessness. Mary would tell her that she needed therapy. Maybe she would be right. Maybe there was something horribly wrong with her that could be sorted out through therapy.

A sigh passed through her lips and she gathered the silk scarf into her hands. It no longer smelt of her. But it always made Anna remember her laugh. The memories were real enough that it almost made Anna call Mary and ask for her forgiveness.

Almost.

Mary knew Anna better than anyone, well other than her. But she was gone. Fate was a cruel mistress who stole the only mother figure she had ever had away from her.

It had only deepened the ideas that Anna was not meant for love or anything long term. It was why she loved this particular job so much. She was always on the go. Sure she had acquaintances here or there, but there were no obligations with those people. Mary was the only one who insisted that Anna keep in touch. At times, Mary could be exhausting.

She glanced around the beautiful field in front of her. She had been here for weeks now. There was a lot of work that needed to be done and Anna offered to do all of it. Her work didn't question if she needed to be back home any time soon. For years, they had told her how dedicated she was and how she was their top designer.

If she took the time to think on it, she might dwell too much about how they only liked her because she didn't have a life outside of work. Would they have dropped her the moment the baby was born?

She shook away those thoughts, because those thoughts didn't matter. There wasn't a baby.

Her phone dinged and she took her phone out of her back pocket. Immediately, she frowned. It was Ewan, her work friend. They had worked together over the years. Ewan was always trying to subtlety ask her out on dates, even when she had been dating Mitch. Anna was good at swerving around these obvious tries to hit on her, but this trip she found that she couldn't stop comparing him to John. Now, Ewan was a kind man. He was fun and energetic. However, Anna didn't feel any type of connection to him. She hadn't felt any connection to Mitch either, come to think of it. But John….

She dropped her phone back into her pocket and closed her eyes. She needed to stop. She had only known John for a few weeks. They couldn't possibly had formed any sort of meaningful connection. It was only the baby. Surely that was the only thing Anna was feeling.

Yet, as she tried to push away her thoughts of John, she could only remember his laugh and the way he looked at her. He had made her feel special, like he would truly be there with her for the rest of her life.

"You're being ridiculous," Anna muttered to herself. Shaking her head strongly, she made her way back to the pub and bought her plane tickets for London.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

"You look tired," were the first words out of Nora Bates' mouth when John entered her home. He pretended to be offended by her words.

"Thanks, Mum," he stated. Nora tutted and then brought her arms around his neck, forcing her to lean forward.

"I imagine you didn't get much sleep last night? Your flight was early."

"It was," John agreed. He had flown on the earliest flight so he could make sure his few days with his mother were with her. He always tried to get there as early as possible and then leave as late as possible on his last day there.

"Well, what all have you got planned for us?" John laughed. His mother knew him well. Whenever he came to visit, he was always planning a fun time for the both of them. He enjoyed spoiling her and treating her to whatever she could possibly want.

For years and years, his mother had worked hard to raise him and make sure he never wanted for anything. Now, that he was successful, he wanted to pay her back.

"A show, some dinners. I also bought tickets for the art gallery. I hear there is a new exhibit."

"Oh yes!" Nora agreed, beaming. "I had been wanting to go."

"Good, now we will," John kissed the top of her head.

"And have you heard back from Anna?" Her questioning came with a raised eyebrow. John just shook his head.

"That is over and done with," John uncomfortably stated. "Anna has made it clear that she doesn't want to speak with me anymore. Perhaps, seeing me is a harsh reminder of what she lost." Or, she never cared for me. But he daren't say that out loud. It made him sound pathetic and needy.

"Perhaps," his mother didn't seem convinced. However, thankfully, she dropped it. "Why don't you come on inside and we'll have some tea?"

"That sounds wonderful."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

It was getting later in the afternoon, nearly evening time. Anna would need to find a pub to stop in for something to eat before heading back to her hotel for the night. Tomorrow she had off. She hadn't taken a day off in weeks. Well, except for the day she had been ill and in her hotel room all day. But tomorrow, she had a day off where she could do whatever she wanted in London.

She didn't know what she would possibly do with her free time. Knowing her, she would end up working and creating new styles. It was what she did. She was a workaholic.

Turning the corner, she froze. Her eyes locked with his and she felt her breath hitch within her throat. He seemed just as much as in shock as she was. He had an older woman beside him, his mother, she assumed.

"Hi," she barely got out. John's face warmed and he curled his lips up into a smile.

"Anna, how nice to see you." His words were full of sincerity. The woman next to him widened her eyes.

"Anna? The Anna?" Anna watched as John gently patted her hand to make her not say another word.

"It's nice to see you too, John. I should…."

"How have you been?"

Anna inhaled sharply. "Fine. You?"

"I've been better." John's honest answer made her heart stammer in her chest.

"You two should go out to dinner. I can grab the bus right here to take me home," his mother interjected.

"I don't…"

Again, Anna was interrupted.

"Johnny has the best reservations for the steak house. Do you like steak, dear?"

"I do," Anna uneasily answered.

"Then it's settled. You two can catch up. Johnny, I'll call you when I get home."

"Mum, are you sure….?"

"Johnny, I've lived here for many years, on my own, mind you. I'll be just fine. Take this lovely woman to dinner. Nice to meet you dear," she then added. "I hope to get to know you better soon."

And just like that, the woman turned and walked away. John looked stunned and Anna now knew that she couldn't back out.

"Well, shall we?" John questioned. Anna swallowed hard.

"I guess we must."

To be continued...

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