Determinism is bullshit, Five told himself. The grandfather paradox is bullshit, destiny is bullshit, and so is Thanksgiving.

He angrily cut into his food.

Allison noticed. "Do you miss Ben and Vanya? They'll be back for the real Thanksgiving next week."

They were both in California with the other Five.

Five stuffed a mouthful of turkey into his mouth and shrugged. What made a holiday 'real' anyway? It was just an arbitrary date on a calendar.

"He knows that," Diego said. "Leave him alone."

But Allison wouldn't let it lie. "Didn't you miss me? I haven't seen you all month."

Five rolled his eyes and took his time chewing and swallowing his food.

"I missed you a lot," Allison added.

"I di-" Five started, but then cut himself off.

I didn't miss you, he wanted to lie. But that would be childish.

"The month went by fast," Five said, instead. "It was gone in a blink."

"We've been keeping busy," Luther chimed in. "We all have our own projects, right Five?"

Klaus slammed his glass down, sloshing wine all over the table cloth. "Speaking of projects!" He exclaimed. "You have to catch my act before you go back, Allie!"

Allison let Klaus capture her attention, allowing Five to continue his meal in peace.

But he was conscious of her gaze, now.

Five loosened his grip on the utensils, carefully schooling his expression into something more polite.

Whatever existential crisis he might be having, there was no need to take it out on Allison.

Still, he couldn't quite bring himself to mimic her faux holiday cheer.

Allison was an actor for a reason. She had thrown herself into the rituals of cooking and decorating with Mom the moment she stepped foot in New York, as eager to celebrate family and together-ness as Five's doppelganger was to forget his troubled past.

Whatever, Five thought. I'll be better than him.

Starting with this simple gesture of goodwill:

"I did miss you, Allison," Five announced. "I'm glad you're here."

Allison beamed.


On the last day of her visit, Allison knocked on Five's door.

"Goodbye hug?" She said, sheepishly opening her arms.

He nodded tersly, and approached.

Allison stood in place, waiting, her arms still open. "Aren't you going to hug me?"

Five rubbed the back of his neck, inching closer. "I thought… alright."

Usually people hugged him. Oftentimes, without warning. But Allison made no move to do so, forcing him to gingerly put his arms around her before she clasped him tightly.

"Will you be okay?" She whispered.

"Of course," Five said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Does it bother you?" She rubbed circles into his back, like Mom often did. "That everyone is going to L.A. with me?"

"Why would that bother me?"

"Because you can't go," Allison said. "It would bother me, if I was you."

Her hug was lingering too long, becoming awkward, but Five resisted the urge to pull away.

"You're not me," Five muttered.

"Will you be okay with Diego?" Allison said.

"Why wouldn't I-"

"Because you've never been alone with him."

"What?" Five said. "Yes, I have."

"I mean the adult Diego," Allison said.

"I've been alone with him."

"Okay, but not for this long," Allison said. "Five days is a long-"

"What exactly do you think is going to happen?" Five said. "Do you expect him to stab me to death while your back is turned?"

Allison squeezed him more tightly, nearly forcing all the air out of his lungs. "I don't know! You guys don't get along, right?"

"What?" Five said. "That's not true."

"Are you sure?" Allison said.

"Yes, Allison." Five huffed. "Though I still don't understand why he's even bothering to stay behind. I told him he should go with everyone else."

"And leave you unsupervised?"

"I'm not a child."

Allison finally released him from the hug, pulling back to look at him. "Um, but you literally are?"

Five waved this off. "You know what I mean."

"Uh huh." Allison pinched his cheek. "What an adorable adult you are!'

"Shut up." Five smacked her hand away. "It's not like the adult Five is any better off, looks wise."

Five immediately regretted directly referencing his doppelganger, alarmed to watch Allison's face crumple in distress.

"Sorry," he said. "Um, I didn't mean…"

But what didn't he mean? To step on a landmine, Five supposed.

Allison blinked and her smile was back in full force. The Hollywood smile, Klaus called it.

"You're not wrong," Allison said, chuckling lightly. "He's an adorable adult too!"

An adult who erased his memories a month ago, Five thought. In a desperate bid to 'preserve the timeline' supposedly.

If you took the old man at his word.

"How's he been?" Five said. "No one wants to talk about it."

Allison leaned against the door frame. "He's good. Settled in. Um, he gets along with Claire."

"That's good," Five said.

"He likes that she comes every weekend," Allison said. "But I'm not sure if that has anything to do with her or just that he knows he can expect her?"

"What do you mean?"

Allison shrugged. "He's kind of OCD?"

"How do you mean?"

"He doesn't like surprises," Allison said. "He plans out his whole week and then he… he wants to do the same thing every week?"

Hmm, Five thought. Is that his age showing or one of those trauma symptoms Vanya was carrying on about?

"Is that just him?" Allison asked. "You're not like that?"

Five shook his head. "No."

"It's okay if you are," Allison said. "Um, and I don't literally mean OCD. Because it's not like I'm in a position to be diagnosing anyone."

"Don't worry," Five said. "I'm normal."

Allison frowned. "You don't have to be."

"What, you think I'm strange? I haven't been traumatized by anything."

"Five." Allison spoke in that gentle way that immediately put Five on the defensive. "We've all been traumatized in different ways. There's nothing wrong with that."

Five bristled. "I don't know who you're trying to speak for," he said. "But I've never been traumatized."

"Five-"

"Don't you have a flight to catch?" Five said. "What time does the plane leave?"

Allison smirked. "3 a.m."

Five frowned, looking at his watch. It was 9:48 p.m.

"Plenty of time," Allison quipped.

Five gritted his teeth. "You should get there early. Or at least go and make sure everyone's properly packed. Klaus is a procrastinator."

"Uh huh," Allison said. "I'm not going to do that, but I'll leave you alone."

He sighed. "I…"

"No worries!" Allison backed out of his room and pointed awkward finger guns at him. "I'll stop bugging you, no hard feelings."

"I… wait," Five said. "Um… so the other Five. He hasn't noticed anything odd?"

Allison tapped her chin. "Odd? Besides the amnesia?"

"Yes, besides that."

"Nope," Allison said. "Why, is there something I should look out for?"

Just doomsday, Five thought.

But that brief glimpse at an apocalyptic wasteland was over and done with. Five hadn't seen it a second time, so why would the doppelganger?

"I was just wondering," Five said. "I can't think of anything in particular."

"Hmm," Allison said. "But you'll call me if you do think of something, right?"

"Sure."

"I'm serious," Allison said. "Or you… you can also call the other Five. Didn't you guys exchange numbers?"

"We did," Five said. "But we haven't spoken since the Rumor."

"Right," Allison said. "Of course."

"Is that wrong?" Five said.

"No," Allison said. "I'm sure it's awkward."

"It was already awkward," Five said. "But now there's simply nothing for us to discuss."

"Fair enough!" Allison said. "So then… would you kill me if I asked for another hug?"

Five rolled his eyes, but put his arms around her. "You've gotten sentimental in your old age."

Allison pretended to take offense, huffing indignantly. "Excuse you!" She said. "I'm at the top of my prime."

"Sure," Five said. "And I'm the tallest in the family."

Allison laughed.


Holiday logistics were a headache.

"I'm sorry I ditched you for Thanksgiving," Ben said. "I know I was supposed to come back earlier than I did… but I feel like I barely get to see the other Five as it is."

Vanya and Luther were already in L.A. Essentially, every time Allison was in New York, someone made sure to trade places with her.

"How many times are you going to make me repeat myself?" Five said. "It's arbitrary. You should have gone early for Christmas too."

Allison snuck up from behind Ben and surprised him with a hug. "But then I wouldn't get to see him!"

She tickled him and Ben giggled, swatting her hands away. "Hey! You'd have seen me for the dinner with Patrick's family."

"If you stuck around for that," Allison said. "Thanksgiving was such a disaster, I wouldn't even blame you for skipping out."

"Well, now I have to go," Ben said. "Since I'm here for fake Christmas."

Five rolled his eyes. "Fake Christmas, real Christmas, do you hear yourselves? It doesn't matter what the date is."

"I know," Ben said. "And anyway, it's kind of nice? We get twice the holidays. Which is like… twice what we had to start with."

At the corner of the room, Diego was setting up the ornaments on the Christmas tree; he looked over his shoulder. "I thought you guys were going to help?"

Five sighed, stooping down to scrutinize the tangled string of lights. "I'll untangle this, I guess."

"I'm going to make cookies with Mom," Allison said. "So… look forward to that!"

She dashed out of the room with all the energy of a mischievous child.

"Don't burn them!" Ben called after her.

The decorations had been dealt with, presents bought and wrapped, and any other petty little request tolerated: from Klaus's impromptu snowball fight to building a ridiculously large gingerbread house with Diego. Five did what was required of him and enjoyed it, probably.

But at the back of his mind, he couldn't shake the suspicion that he was being scrutinized. His every word analyzed, his expressions interpreted for hidden meaning.

It was that damn doppelganger. Whatever his reasoning, he'd exhibited an alarming degree of self-worth issues before his… reset. Suicidal tendencies, in fact, if Klaus was to be believed.

That particular tidbit had been wrestled out of him nearly two months after The Event. But even now, it certainly explained some things.

But why is their worry being applied to me, Five thought. It's not like I'm acting the same.

Allison was the worst offender, by far.

"Do you still have those suspenders I bought you?"

"No, Allison," Five said. "I threw them off the Empire State building."

"It's just that," Allison twirled a long strand of hair between her fingers. "I've never seen you wear them."

"I thought you hated them," Five huffed.

"I was just joking!" Allison said. "I loved them."

Five raised his eyebrows at her.

"Okay, so I didn't love them," Allison said. "But… like, you shouldn't worry about what I think. You liked them, right? So you should wear them."

"I do wear them," Five lied. "It's not my fault you aren't here when I'm wearing them."

She bit her lip. "Is it Klaus? Did he tease you?"

Five could feel his face heating up at the reminder and glared at her. "Did Ben put you up to this?"

"No, no, no," Allison said. "I just… I, uh… they really grew on me. I wanted to see you in them."

"Liar," Five said, calmly. "Would you quit your worrying? I'm not like..."

Like the other Five, he'd almost said, but he decided he'd rather not discuss that.

"I'm not a kid," Five said, instead. "I don't need you to… to do whatever you're trying to do."

"I'm not trying to do anything."

"Liar."

"Okay, I'm worried about you!" Allison said. "You just, you tend to bottle things up and-"

"I think you're confused," Five said. "I've never done that."

"But you-"

"I've never done that," Five said, pointedly.

Allison deflated. "I know," she said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to compare."

"You're making mountains out of molehills," Five said. "But fine, you want to see me in suspenders? I'll wear the suspenders. I'll even wear one of those stupid bowties Klaus bought for me."

"You don't have to."

"They'll go well with my ugly sweater," Five said. "Did Mom tell you? She made one for everyone."

Allison chuckled weakly. "Yeah, mine is Grinch themed."

"So there," Five said. "Problem solved."

Allison flinched.

"What?" Five said.

"Nothing," she said, quickly.

"What is it?" Five said.

"It's just…" Allison put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing meaningfully. "You know you don't have to solve problems for me? For any of us?"

Five tilted his head at her and retraced the thread of their conversation, knowing enough by now to realize he'd triggered her.

"It's… a figure of speech," Five said, carefully.

Allison smiled at him. It was a strained smile, without her usual polish. "Five," Allison said. "If you… I know you like to help. It's not a bad thing. You're a little hero, you know?"

He scoffed.

"Please, hear me out," Allison said. "I know you think-"

"Are you a mind reader?"

"Huh?"

"You claim to know what I think," Five said. "What I feel, what I like. You seem so certain of it. A new ability, hmm? I suppose congratulations are in order."

Her smile melted like a snowflake on the tongue and there was a part of Five that squirmed, a part that reminded him he was supposed to be better than this.

But he carried on anyway. "Don't ever tell me what you think I'm thinking," Five said. "There's nothing I hate more."

Allison removed her hand from his shoulder, looking contrite. "You're right. I'm sorry."

He nodded cordially. "It's fine."

He expected her to say something more, but instead Allison simply stared at him, looking… grief-stricken. Five fought off the urge to teleport into another room.

You scare us when you do that, Vanya had said.

"Look," Five said. "I'm not… mad."

"It's okay if you are," Allison said. "You don't have to suppress your emotions."

He rolled his eyes. "You sound like Vanya."

"Good!" Allison said. "We should all be more like Vanya."

Five ran a hand over his face. "Oookay. This clearly has nothing to do with suspenders."

"Sorry," Allison said. "I should be more direct."

He waved his hand at her: go on.

"I just… I worry about you," Allison said. "I know you don't have the same trauma as the other Five, but you still have the same personality. The same… bad habits."

"Again, you sound like Vanya."

"I think it's because of Dad," Allison said, in a rush. "I mean, he messed us all up, right? We're all messed up."

"What's your point?"

"Just that, if you ever need help," Allison said. "you should say so? Or, if you think someone else needs help, it's good to help! But you should recruit some of us to help you help? It doesn't necessarily have to be me, by the way. I know I'm not around, and all."

Five rubbed at his temples, trying to untangle her verbal diarrhea.

"There's so many of us!" Allison continued. "We're our own little army, so why would you do everything by yourself, right?"

"You're still confusing me with-"

"I just want you to keep it in mind," Allison said. "For the future? If anything comes up. But also… the suspenders."

"Why are you so obsessed with the damn suspenders?" Five snapped.

"I'm almost done," Allison said. "Let me finish."

He groaned.

"I appreciate that you're willing to wear them for me," Allison said. "It's nice of you, but that misses the point. I want you to wear them because you like them. And I don't want you to wear the bowties. You hate the bowties."

He frowned at her.

"You said you hated the bowties," Allison amended.

"I did," Five said.

"Also, they're awful," Allison added.

Five chuckled. "They are."

"So anyway…" Allison fiddled with her bracelet. "Do you want some hot chocolate? I was thinking we could do a Christmas movie marathon, but I kn- but I noticed you have trouble sitting still for that long, so we could also just, um, we could put the movies on in the background and, like… oh! We could have a dance party."

Five grinned. "A dance party, eh? I won't pay attention to the movie that way."

"Then we'll listen to Christmas music," Allison said. "I don't know."

"I'll spill the hot chocolate."

"We'll drink it first," Allison said. "Then dance?"

"Hmm." Five tapped his chin. "But I want to hear Halloween music."

That startled a laugh out of her. "What? There's no such thing."

"There is too," Five said. "Monster Mash, that Michael Jackson song… uh, and the jingle from that one cereal commercial. It was Halloween cereal, or something."

"The entire Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack!" Ben called from outside the door.

Five blinked to the door and opened it. "You're always eavesdropping!"

"I was walking by!" Ben said.

"Liar," Allison said fondly, grinning at him.

"Anyway, it's the perfect movie and we have to show it to Five," Ben said. "You haven't seen it yet, right Five?"

"I haven't seen it yet," Five said. "But don't think I didn't notice Christmas in the title."

"It's also about Halloween," Ben said. "So it's, like, a compromise. A holiday hybrid."

"Uh huh," Five said. "But Allison seems to think I'm incapable of sitting through an entire movie."

"I said movie marathon," Allison said. "That would be at least four movies, which was my original idea, until I realized you're too fidgety."

"I'm not fidgety," Five said.

"You are though," Ben said. "You're the most fidgety person I've ever met."

"I can sit through four movies," Five said. "I could sit through ten movies."

"Oh boy," Allison said. "You reverse psychology'd him."

"I'm an evil genius," Ben said.

Five waggled a finger at him. "No, I'm generous."

"Aaaaw," Ben said. "What Christmas spirit!"

Allison clapped her hands together. "So we're seeing Nightmare Before Christmas, right? Are we still doing hot chocolate?"

"Yes," Five and Ben said, at the same time.


On New Year's Eve, Five took advantage of the fact that he had everyone gathered in the same room.

Or, almost everyone. Vanya and Klaus were still in California.

"I want at least one example from each of you," Five said. "of something you've noticed that's different from your native timeline."

Allison, in her usual fashion, wanted to shift the conversation to lighter topics. "Can't we do New Years resolutions instead? You know, like a normal family?"

"Sure," Five said. "After you name an anomaly, you can share your resolution."

Luther raised his hand. "Can I go first? I have an example."

"Is your example about Hillary Clinton?" Diego said. "Cause that's cheating, that one is too obvious."

Five noted the name down in his notebook. "The former First Lady?"

"I remember her," Ben said. "What happened, is she supposed to be dead? Or, is she dead and she's supposed to be alive? Old Five said that was the most common Mandela effect."

"She's not supposed to be dead," Diego said. "She lost the election, originally."

"Election?" Ben said. "What, for president?!"

"Ben, do you mind sitting this one out?" Five said. "You and I, we're in the same boat here."

"Actually, it happened after you both got here," Allison said. "Hillary became president in 2016, but… it just happened. This timeline was overwritten again."

"Shit," Five said, making a note of it. "When exactly? And why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Actually, it happened in November," Luther said. "Right before Thanksgiving. That's when I noticed it."

"None of you watch the fucking news," Diego said. "It happened on November 8th."

"You're sure of that?" Five said. "Would you stake your life on it?"

"Whoa," Allison said. "Dial it back."

"I would stake my life on it," Diego said.

"Would you?" Allison said. "Because I'm pretty sure it was November 6th when I noticed it."

"You said it just happened!" Diego huffed. "Don't go changing your story!"

Luther frowned at Diego. "Guys-"

"November did just happen," Allison said.

"Who was president before?" Ben said. "Wow, I should pay more attention to politics."

"It was two months ago," Diego growled. "You can't say it just-"

"Shut up!" Five said, sternly.

Surprisingly, they did.

Five cleared his throat. "I'm going to count that as Diego's example."

"No way," Diego said. "I've got something better."

Five smiled. "I'm all ears."

"There was all this drama around supers," Diego said. "Especially with the younger kids with powers. Like, it was becoming a talking point with politicians."

Ben bounced excitedly. "What the heck! There are more of us?!"

This was new information to Five too.

"Again," Five growled. "Why is this the first I'm hearing about this?"

"Hold on," Diego said. "It gets worse."

"Do you have to talk about this today?" Allison said.

"Yes," Five and Diego said.

Then Five motioned for him to continue.

"So there was all this drama," Diego said. "Cause supers used to be rare, but they were starting to become common. Or, I think most of them used to hide. But all of a sudden, they were coming out of the woodwork. It made law enforcement nervous. And, you know, those religious nuts. That's why it got political."

"That does sound bad," Ben said.

"They were just concerned about the criminal element," Luther said. "Some of those supers were using their powers to steal or vandalize people's property."

Allison sighed.

"So what happened?" Five said. "How did it get worse?"

"It disappeared," Diego said. "The whole drama. The talking points. None of it is being mentioned anymore."

Diego leaned forward, clearly enjoying his little audience. "So I did some digging. Back in October, that's when shit really hit the fan. A bunch of arrests, a riot in D.C. Now? It never happened. And those supers? They're gone."

Ben gasped. "They're dead?!"

Diego shrugged. "They were never arrested. Dunno if they're dead."

"That's probably because the Institute is gone," Allison said. "I'd be in a better mood too, without all that harassment."

Five had been writing down the key points, but now he paused to squint at Allison.

"Your turn," he said. "Tell me about this institute."


Every crumb of information was a puzzle piece, but instead of creating a clearer picture it just made Five realize his puzzle was humongous. What little he knew, it was a fraction of a corner piece. It was a puzzle piece to a puzzle piece to a puzzle piece.

How could these changes potentially add up to the Apocalypse? What was the commission doing to the timeline? What was their goal?

"They're invested in humanity," the other Five had said.

Five found this hard to believe.

"... and I'm also considering a role in a TV show," Allison was saying. "It would be a really big commitment. Like, years of work. But if I'm committed to being more responsible this year what better proof is there than signing a six year contract?"

Six years, Five thought. Will the world end in six years? Sooner? Later? Next week?

"What's the show about?" Luther said.

"It's kind of a Star Trek rip off," Allison said. "Or maybe Star Wars. Something like that."

"You're committed alright," Diego said.

Will it be permanent next time? Five wondered.

"The first season is already out," Allison said. "I've been meaning to watch it. Anyway, I really like the schedule. I would have weekends off. That's rare in Hollywood."

"That's really good," Luther said. "For Claire and you and… and old Five."

Does OCD Five like the schedule? Five wanted to ask, but he also resented his own curiosity.

He had not spoken to the other Five since their phone call about the Apocalypse. Before the memory wipe.

I should call him, Five thought. Ask him if he saw-

Ben elbowed him, gesturing at Allison.

"Um," Five said. "You won't be the protagonist?"

"Not this time," Allison said. "But being a supporting character has a lot of advantages. It's a steady enough paycheck, but less hours on set."

Five nodded.

"So what about you, Five?" Allison said. "What's your New Year's Resolution?"

"Oh, I don't know," Five said. "Figured I'd start small. Save the world."

Ben laughed. "Then move on to bigger and better things with the rest of the galaxy?"

"This isn't a joke, guys," Diego said. "This is an important year."

"It is?" Luther said.

"Why's it important?" Ben said.

"You know," Diego said, gesturing at Ben, then turning to Five. "You know."

Allison nodded, chuckling. "Mhm. Yes."

"Uh huh," Five said. "Love you too, Diego."

"Oh!" Ben said. "Aaaaw, me too!"

Diego blushed, sputtering.

"Anyway, I might go to college," Ben said. "Does that count as a resolution? But I'm not sure because then I wouldn't get to go to California as often, right? That would suck."

"You can enroll in online courses," Luther said. "Or, some classes only meet up once a week. If you plan carefully, you can make it work."

"Since when are you a college expert?" Diego muttered, giving Luther the ol' side eye.

"I've been looking into it," Luther said.

"We still haven't heard Five's resolution," Allison said. "Can we get a serious answer please?"

Five tutted. "Fine. I want to work on my powers."

Allison gave him a Look.

"What's wrong with that?" Five said.

"Don't you want to do any normal kid stuff?" Allison said. "Like, pick up an interesting hobby?"

"What's more interesting than time travel?"

Now Ben gave him a Look, but his was decidedly anxious. "You… but you…"

"You're not allowed to time travel!" Diego said.

"I thought we agreed," Luther said. "that you'd stay in 2019… I mean, 2020."

"I'm not going anywhere," Five said. "There's just this trick I've been trying to crack. Something the other Five told me about."

"What kind of trick?" Allison said.

"He called it Rewind," Five said, motioning in a circle with an index finger. "He'd go back a few seconds. A quick rewind. Said it was better than jumping through time because there's no doppelgangers to deal with."

And it has the potential to reverse bullet wounds or any injury I might incur. Five decided they'd be uncomfortable knowing that, given the implications, so he kept it to himself.

Everyone stared at him, flabbergasted.

"I didn't know he could do that," Luther said.

Five shrugged. "Maybe he can't, anymore."

"Wait a minute," Allison said. "When did he use that power? Did he give you any examples of the situations he used it for?"

"Nope," Five said. "Just the technicals."

Technicals like: 'You can bring someone back from the dead.'

They definitely didn't need to know that. The situation would have been different from the thing with Ben.

"That's so creepy," Diego breathed. "He could have had the same conversations over and over again. To get it how he wanted. Like Groundhog day."

"Hardly," Five said. "That would be a ridiculous waste of energy."

"He definitely didn't do that," Luther agreed. "I think conversations would have gone a lot smoother if he had."

Diego chuckled. "Damn. That's a great point, Luth."

Allison looked disturbed. "You should have told us sooner. Before…"

Five sighed. "And you should have told me about President Clinton!"

"They don't call her Clinton," Diego said. "It confuses her with her husband."

"Really?" Ben said. "So then it's President Hillary?"

"It sounds a little weird," Luther said. "So I would just say her full name, if I had to talk about her."

"Um, guys?" Ben said. "We missed the ball drop."

Five glanced at the TV, which had been muted. They had indeed missed the ball drop.

"That's just great," Allison said. "Happy fucking New Year. So glad I spent the real one here."

"What's your problem?" Diego said.

"Five is my problem!" Allison snapped. "He's going to get himself killed one day!"

"Which Five?" Five said, sardonically.

"Why can't you just settle into a normal life?" Allison said. "Why are you always putting yourself in danger?"

"Since when is using my own power so dangerous?" Five said. "You use yours all the time."

Allison bit her lip. "If I stopped using mine would you stop using yours?"

"No."

"I don't mean teleporting," Allison said. "That part is fine."

"Is it fine?" Five snapped. "Or will you all panic if I leave the room unexpectedly?"

Luther winced. "I didn't panic…"

Allison half rose out of her seat, reaching out with her hand, which hovered near Five with uncertainty. Like she wanted to make a grab for him, but knew better.

"Five-"

"Then I guess it's fine if I leave now, right?" Five said. "It's official, we're in 2020. The holidays are over."

"Listen here," Diego said. "You can't-"

"I can," Five said. "So I will."

And he left the room.


Later, when there were knocks on his bedroom door, Five left that room too. He left and he left and he left again, until they got tired of looking for him. Until they finally went to sleep and Ben was the last one awake, waiting like he always did.

"You're back." Ben looked relieved, as if this was a pleasant surprise.

"I don't want to talk about it," Five said.

"That's okay," Ben said. "You must be exhausted."

Five nodded, and they got into bed.

Minutes passed in blissful silence, but then Ben whispered, "Can I just say one thing?"

Five groaned.

"Just one," Ben said.

"Clearly, I can't stop you."

"I think Allison is scared for you," Ben said. "That's all. Because she loves you."

"She's mixing me up with the other Five," Five said. "She should save her worry for him."

"I don't think that's it," Ben said. "I think she's more worried about you than him."

"That makes no sense," Five said.

"Sorry," Ben said. "I don't know how to explain it. It's just a hunch, anyway. I could be wrong."

Five grunted.

"But anyway," Ben continued. "Tomorrow's her last day in New York. Can you try to be nice before she goes back?"

"So far, you've said at least three different things," Five huffed.

"Sorry," Ben murmured. "But please? Be nice to her tomorrow?"

"I've been nice," Five muttered. "I've been nothing but nice, but she still looks at me like I'm…"

Like I'm a crazy person, Five thought. Like I'm going to run out in front of a car.

"Tomorrow's her last day," Ben repeated.

"I'll be nice," Five said.

"Thank you."

"Go to sleep already," Five added.

"Yessir," Ben said. "Love you."

"Love you too."

And that was how the New Year finally began.


It was too late to back out.

Vanya, Ben, and Klaus were settling in at her apartment (with the Five that Allison had begun to think of as her Five) when her plane ticket to New York had forced her to leave them all behind. She'd been tempted to say, Nevermind! I'll just stay here, yeah?

Instead, she got on the damn plane.

When she asked Diego to pick her up from the airport he'd said, "Why? Luther's going for you."

Which, of course Luther was. He always did.

This time, Luther stood beside the car with a bouquet of roses. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Allison laughed nervously. "Oh, thank you! That's so sweet."

She made no move to take the roses, holding up her luggage. "I'll just…"

Luther scrambled to open the trunk for her and she put her luggage away, but still did not reach for the roses.

"Sorry," Luther said. "Too much?"

"I didn't get anything for you," Allison said. "I didn't think… I'm here to see Five."

"I know," Luther said. "I just… I thought…"

"And Diego," Allison added. "How's he doing?"

"He's going to spend the weekend at his girlfriend's place," Luther said. "He's just waiting for us to get home, cause he didn't want to leave Five alone. Um, and he wanted to say hi, I guess. To you. Before he leaves."

"That's great," Allison said. "For him and… Detective Patch, was it?"

"Yeah," Luther said. "She doesn't like her first name, so we call her Patch."

Allison nodded. "I'm so… happy for them. That they got that second chance."

Luther nodded back, looking down at his roses.

"Well!" Allison said. "Let's get going? We don't want to delay Diego and Patch's date."

Luther nodded some more and walked around the car to open the passenger side door for her. Always the gentleman. It was endearing, but also maddening.

Still, she smiled at him and got in the damn car.


They shouldn't have gone to a restaurant. The waitress offered Five a kid's menu, complete with an activity packet and crayons, and he scoffed at her. "This 'maze' is an insult. Ages seven to twelve? More like ages one to three."

The waitress chuckled good naturedly. "There's also a word search."

"Anyway, I'm not twelve," Five said. "I'm thirteen. I deserve a regular menu."

"Of course," the waitress said. She gracefully switched out his menu and then made eye contact with Allison. "Your son is precocious."

Luther said, "He's our brother."

While Allison said, "We're not a couple!"

An awkward silence followed.

"Of course," the waitress said, giggling. "My bad! I shouldn't have assumed."


As soon as they got home, Luther changed into sweats and went out for a jog, leaving her with Five.

"Where's Mom?" Allison said. "I just realized I haven't seen her yet."

Despite his size and age, this Five was intimidating. He had a ferociousness about him that the other Five lacked. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms together.

"Why?" Five said. "Afraid to be alone with me?"

"Of course not," Allison said. "It just feels rude, not to say hello to her."

"She's out."

"Out?" Allison echoed. "Like… on a date?"

What else would someone be doing 'out' on Valentine's Day? But Allison couldn't picture her doting mother in any context outside their childhood home, let alone… well, dating.

Five shrugged. "I didn't press her for details."

"Okay then," Allison said. "So what do you want to do?"

Again, Five shrugged.

Ever the surly teenager.

"Let's watch a movie?" Allison said. Movies were great, in her experience, because you could safely spend time with someone without having to talk to them.

"No," Five said. "I have a better idea."

"I'm all ears."

"You can tell me what the hell is going on between you and Luther."

Damn. She'd hoped he wouldn't notice.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't," Five said.

Allison carefully brushed her hair back and tried to formulate a sensible explanation.

"I can just as easily ask Luther," Five said. "As soon as you're gone, I'll-"

"It's because I'm a celebrity," Allison said. "I don't know if that waitress recognized me, but someone at the restaurant would have. I couldn't let them think I was on a date."

Five tilted his head. "Who cares what they think?"

"I have to be careful," Allison said. "Public image is everything to an actress, that's all. If they thought I was on a date with my brother it would turn into this huge scandal."

Five rubbed at his chin. "They wouldn't necessarily know Luther's your brother."

"I noticed some of the other customers taking pictures," Allison said. "They were subtle, so you probably didn't see, but-"

"I don't get it," Five said. "Why does it matter?"

"Those pictures will end up on the internet," Allison said. "Even if no one in the restaurant recognized Luther, someone will. Then they'll realize that we were raised together at the Umbrella Academy. If I'm not careful I'll get accused of incest and my reputation will tank."

Five took that in, face scrunching up.

"So there's nothing going on between me and Luther," Allison said. "I probably hurt his feelings, but when I explain it to him he'll understand and forgive me."

"But Diego thinks-"

"Don't listen to him," Allison said. "Or Klaus, or… or anyone. They're just teasing."

"Fine," Five said. "But… technically-"

"Goddammit," Allison said. "Have you guys been gossiping about us? Is that it?"

Five sighed. "Look, I don't know how you feel, but Luther got all excited for your visit. He bought roses and he-"

"It's a misunderstanding," Allison said. "I'll clear it up."

Five threw his hands up. "You're the one who decided to spend Valentine's Day in New York!"

"Is that a crime?!" Allison snapped. "I'm so fucking sorry I wanted to see you."

"Yeah right!" Five said. "You just used me as an excuse!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"You sound like a child," Five said.

"You sound like a child," Allison retorted.

"Look," Five said. "I'm not saying you should or shouldn't get together with Luther. Obviously that has nothing to do with me. But the incest taboo exists for a very specific reason. It has to do with birth defects, so-"

"It doesn't matter," Allison said. "It's still wrong."

"Do you like him?"

"It's wrong."

"But do you like him?"

"It's wrong to like him," Allison said. "Not just because it's taboo."

"Why else?"

Allison bit her lip.

"Why else?"

"Because his feelings aren't real!" Allison burst out. "They aren't real!"

"What do you mean?"

The secret poured out like molten lava erupting from a volcano. "I was a stupid kid," Allison confessed. "I Rumored him, but I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't realize what the consequences would be."

"What kind of Rumor?"

"I said 'you want to kiss me' because I saw a movie," Allison said. "Me and Klaus, we would sneak out at night and I'd Rumor us into R rated movies. I was curious about kissing and, and we didn't know anyone! We were so isolated, Luther was the only boy around that I… so I..."

"Back up," Five said. "When did this happen?"

"We were little," Allison said. "I don't remember how old we were, but it was before you left."

"So he kissed you because you Rumored him and you think that's why he likes you?"

"That's the thing," Allison said. "He didn't kiss me. I fucked up the Rumor."

"How did you fuck it up?"

"I said he wanted to kiss me," Allison said. "You should have seen his face. He blushed and then he was tripping over himself. He couldn't bring himself to actually kiss me, but I planted the desire in him. It got stuck in his brain, it never went away!"

"Okay," Five said. "But it might-"

"So that's why it's wrong," Allison said. "That's why I'm a horrible person and if hell exists I'm going there and-"

"Wait a minute!" Five said. "You're not-"

"I heard a rumor," Allison said. "You never heard this secret."

Five blinked. "Um." He scratched his head. "What were you saying?"

Allison sighed. "Can we watch a movie? Please?"

Five studied her. She didn't know what he saw in her face, but whatever it was convinced him to give her a break.

"Alright," Five said. "But no rom-coms."

"Thank God."


Allison visited New York as often as possible. She liked the way the rest of her siblings rotated their respective trips to California. This way, that Five was never alone but she still had opportunities to see each of them.

Except for Vanya, that is. The last time Allison had seen her had been during the big Thanksgiving dinner with everyone but Diego and the younger Five. Patrick and Claire had been there too, so Vanya had gotten lost in the crowd.

At the time, Allison was relieved. She didn't want to talk to Vanya. Didn't want to fight again.

But months went by and a pattern formed. Whenever Allison was in New York, Vanya was in California. They'd only seen each other in passing, if Allison timed it so that her plane to New York would leave after Vanya's had arrived in L.A.

Vanya would be cooly cordial, during such encounters.

This time will be different, Allison thought. This time we're both in New York.

The big birthday party. It was something she'd looked forward to and dreaded in equal measure. It was more than a birthday, this year. It was also an anniversary.

Technically, she'd taken Five's memories right before Halloween, but the panic spiral that led to it began right after their birthday. It was the beginning of the end.

The beginning of the beginning, Allison corrected herself. The start of Five's peaceful retirement.

Surely Vanya could see it too, by now? Five was happier this way. They'd all realized it, hadn't they? And maybe enough time had passed to numb the sting. Maybe Vanya would finally forgive her.

"They call it magic rosin," Allison said. "They just added glitter, though. Um, it's rosin with glitter."

Rosin was this thing that was used to moisturize the strings on a violin. It helped with friction, or something, so that the instrument could be played more smoothly.

Vanya accepted the gift without smiling. "Cool," she said.

"And this violin case, the inside is lined with satin, isn't it pretty?" Allison opened the case and petted the soft material. "It'll protect your violin."

Vanya frowned. "I already have a violin case."

"I know, but this one is nice, isn't it?" Allison chuckled nervously. "You can pawn off the old one?"

"I'll do that," Vanya said. "Thank you."

Vanya had never been the sort to force a smile, but she did present her own gift with a nervous energy that made Allison feel hopeful. It was a large wooden box with a checkered pattern.

"So, um, last year I was really at a loss," Vanya said. "I know my gift sucked."

The gift in question: a tacky necklace. Allison didn't wear it, usually, but she'd worn it today, thank christ.

"It didn't suck, look." Allison pointed at her neck proudly. "I love it!"

"Thanks," Vanya said. "But anyway, I put more thought into it this year."

Vanya opened the wooden box, revealing elegantly carved bits of wood neatly bundled inside. Allison recognized the chess pieces, but the other stuff looked a little odd.

"There are four games here," Vanya said. "Chess, Shogi, Chinese checkers and… uh, I forgot what the fourth one was called. But there's an instruction manual under here."

Vanya moved another plank of wood, revealing a new compartment. The promised instruction manual was indeed there, and more game pieces.

"This is really pretty," Allison said. "I love it."

"I liked that it has two uses," Vanya said. "They went really fancy with the game pieces. Especially the chess pieces. They're like little sculptures. You can use them as decoration when you're not playing with them. And the calligraphy on the Shogi pieces is more elaborate than you would typically see, 'cause usually it's simple Kanji… it's like… I thought it was nice."

Five will love this, Allison thought. I can learn the games and play them with him.

"Thank you," Allison said. "This is the best gift I've ever gotten."

Vanya shifted uncomfortably. "It's also for Five," she admitted.

"That's okay," Allison said. "It's really useful! I have a hard time coming up with activities for us to do together."

"Right," Vanya said. "Me too, so it's also for me. I'll get to use it with Five when I'm there."

"Brilliant," Allison said. "You're a genius."

"Right," Vanya said. "So, um, I'm going to go find Diego. I need to give him his gift."

"Of course," Allison said, cheerfully. "See you later!"

When Vanya was out of sight, Allison deflated like a marionette whose strings had been cut.

Five plopped himself down in the seat Vanya had vacated. "You need to tone it down a notch."

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," Allison said, primly.

"You're freaking her out," Five said. "She's not mad at you anymore, but your over-acting puts her off."

"Over-acting?" Allison said. "I'm not over-acting."

Five sneered. "Oh no," he said, in an exaggeratedly snooty tone, like he was mimicking a Jane Austin character. "I just loved this necklace you bought for me, Vanya, you're an absolute genius with brilliant fashion sense."

Allison scowled. "I don't sound like that."

"You do too," Five said. "It's a wonder your career carries on anyway, with such sloppy acting."

She huffed. "Fine, I'll tone it down!"

"Good," Five said. "And stop breathing down her neck. You've been following her around like a starving puppy hoping for scraps."

Allison winced. "Was I that obvious?"

"Yup." Five put a hand on her shoulder with the kind of sarcasm she'd expect from Klaus. "Luckily for you, I'm here to help. Out of the kindness of my heart and the pure pain of a bystander witnessing a trainwreck."

"How generous of you," Allison said. "But I can solve my own problems, thank you very much."

"No, you can't," Five said. "Besides, I'm an expert in all things Vanya."

"Is that so?"

"Yup," Five said. "Though we can also recruit Luther. Since I'm not allowed to solve problems, according to you."

"You can solve problems," Allison said. "I just think-"

"Honestly," Five said. "Ben would be better at it than me. He's the real Vanya expert."

Ben was currently in California with the other Five and Klaus.

"Klaus would be good too," Allison said, wistfully. "He's got a way of breaking tension."

"Unfortunately, we got stuck with Luther and Diego," Five said. "And we both know Diego is hopeless."

Allison laughed. "He is."

"So it's down to me or Luther," Five said. "Shall I pass it on to him? Excuse myself from the endeavor?"

"I'm probably better off with you," Allison said. "What's your advice, oh wise brother o' mine?"

"To start with," Five said. "imagine Vanya is a cat."

"A cat?"

"Yes," Five said. "If you try to force your affection on a cat, you'll get scratched, see?"

"Vanya wouldn't scratch me," Allison said. "Figuratively, scratching would be… like her getting angry? But she never gets angry. Not outright."

"Then think of her like a crush," Five said. "If you've got a crush on someone you don't want to just throw yourself at them, am I right?"

Allison raised an eyebrow. "What would you know about wooing a crush?"

"I know plenty," Five said. "I've seen Ben fall all over himself in front of a clerk at the public library. It was a spectacular failure. A real tragedy. That poor girl ran for her life."

"Aw," Allison said. "Poor Ben!"

"Anyway, you have to be subtle. Approach with caution."

"But I'm only here for the weekend," Allison whined. "I don't have time for caution!"

"There's always time," Five said. "You just need to be strategic."

"How do I do that?"

Five grinned conspiratorially. "I have a plan. See, Vanya has a weakness."

"What weakness?"

Five puffed out his chest. "Me."

Allison grinned. "You mean…?"

"Yup," Five said. "I don't do this often, but I can be rather cute when I try."

Covering her mouth with her hands, Allison giggled. "You're cute even when you don't try!"

"Shut up," Five said. "You know what I meant."

"Can I hug you?"

Five frowned. "I'm not done yet. So the plan is-"

"But can I hug you?" Allison said. "You're absolutely adorable and I must hug you."

"You don't have to ask," Five huffed. "You can just hug me when the urge strikes you."

Right, that was one of the differences between the Fives. The older one hated to be hugged without warning, instinctively seeing it as an attack or a trap. The younger, by contrast, would get embarrassed if you brought it up or asked for permission.

The younger Five was embarrassed by any obvious affection, Allison realized.

So she hugged him and he allowed it, but he carried on talking as if the hug were no interruption. Just a thing that was happening, which was better left unacknowledged.

It's probably a hangup leftover from being raised by Dad, Allison thought. That vague distant childhood, for me, is still a fresh wound for him.

"I love you," Allison said.

"Yes, yes," Five said, rolling his eyes. "I love you too."