Chapter 13: Anxious Heart


Another gray morning dawned on Corel. Tifa stood by the window of the inn, looking into the town. She reflected on yesterday's events, and the strange turn of fortune for Marlene. But she also felt anxious. She was worrying over Barret's decision to stay in Corel.

She knew that he made this choice in direct obedience to his final promise to Dyne. He was making up for what he failed to do years ago. But it made her uneasy. She felt that their group, that had shrunk to only five people, was too small now. Jesse died, Tseng stayed in Midgard; and now Barret was leaving.

Reno entered the room. "What's up, Tifa?" he asked.

"Nothing much," she answered. "Just fretting, as always."

"Because of Barret leaving?" he asked.

Tifa made a non-committed shrug with her shoulder. "Yes. Well. I hope that no one else leaves."

Reno yawned, flinging himself on the sofa and stretching his legs across it. "Well, as for me, I made a promise to Tseng. So I'm staying as long as it's necessary."

Tifa glanced at him, but said nothing. Reno folded his hands behind his neck. "I'm disappointed, Tifa," he noted. "I thought you'd come up with some sarcastic remark or other about my uselessness."

Tifa shook her head, but her smile was tolerant. "You were pretty useful to me in the tower, Reno. I know that we have the occasional tiff, but I still remember and appreciate it."

Reno quirked an eyebrow in her direction. "Ah, a moment of sincerity in a time of uncertainty. You are welcomed. At any rate, you won't get rid of me that easily. At least, not as long as I haven't been repaid a certain debt that you owe me."

"We already left the golden saucer behind," Tifa pointed out.

"We can always go back, once you earn enough bar tips to buy two tickets."

Instead of responding, Tifa said, "Tseng should have stayed."

"I agree," Reno remarked. "Especially since he doesn't have a chance in hell with Elena. At least, her manner when we met her was not really calculated to encourage any other conclusion." He shrugged. "She passed one test. She is not vengeful. But I'm not sure if she's the forgiving kind."

He closed his eyes, and Tifa perceived that he was gearing himself into one of his frequent naps, and turned to the window again. "Midgard," she murmured, resting her forehead against the glass. "That place is cursed. I'm never going back there!" she said suddenly, her voice rising fiercely. But then it sank into a soft murmur. "No… never."


The departure from Barret was performed, last words were exchanged. When Barret shook Zack's hand, he said, "Zack, I'm leaving because I know that you'll help in my stead. Corel needs me, and I'm not running away again. But Tifa and the others need help as well. Remember that."

Zack nodded. "It's my mission too, Barret," he said. "I'm here to help Tifa, and, if I can, Cloud."

"You're a good kid," said Barret. "We value your assistance. You're heading to your hometown now, right? Gongaga. Heard of you folks."

"Yes," Zack replied. "I'm making a long overdue check on them."

The rest of the party bid Barret farewell, one by one. "You take care, Tifa," Barret said gruffly, shaking her hand. "When things improve, I'll bring Marlene here. I don't care how much money she'll have; this is where her mum used to live, and it's where she belongs."

"We'll miss your help, Barret," Tifa said.

"You'll do fine," he said. "You're a strong girl. You can always call on me if you come through this area. And don't forget to visit."

She promised that she will, and the small group departed. Barret stood and watched them until they vanished into the green meadows, at the turn of the river; and then he walked back to Corel.


By the time the group made their river crossing and headed towards the southern lands, it was late noon. Zack stopped near a cluster of woods that grew thickly at the end of the meadows. "Through there," he said, pointing towards it. Tifa noticed that his normally calm manner became somewhat restless, maybe even agitated. "It's not far now. Maybe half-an-hour away of walking through the woods. The thicket is a bit dense, so make sure to follow me close behind, and stick together."

The woods were a dark, tangled place, the vegetation dense and damp. "There's a trail here, somewhere," Zack told his companions, questing through the underbrush. "I haven't been here for at least two years, but we keep it well-maintained, so it couldn't have changed much." He walked around, scouting, and soon found the white path leading through the foliage. He embarked it, and the others followed him.

After some time on the trail the bushes ahead moved, and a familiar figure sprang out of the brush and came into view. The group halted. It was a thin young girl, and Tifa saw at once that it was Yuffie. There was no mistaking the obnoxious little teenage ninja.

Yuffie narrowed her dark eyes maliciously as she studied the party. "There's no avoiding you losers, eh?" she scoffed. "Timely met."

"What are you doing here, ninja?" Zack asked, surveying her attentively, as if her presence raised a disquieting doubt. "Did you come here with Shinra?"

"What did you think?" Yuffie retorted scornfully. "That I came to this dumphole for vacation?"

"I take it that Elena's around," Rude muttered.

"Of course she is!" Yuffie returned haughtily. "Elena goes nowhere without me. She and that Scarlet are investigating the reactor right now."

"Investigating?" Zack echoed, and his body suddenly became tense. "What? Why? Is something wrong?"

But Yuffie scanned him over, clearly suspicious. "Hey!" she said. "I know your type. You're trying to milk me, and it won't work."

"I just need to know," Zack said. "It's my town."

"Then find out yourself," the girl retorted. "I don't care about that town. I'm only here because Elena requires it. And now that I found you—" she turned to Reno, her eyes narrowing, "I have another reason to be here. Revenge."

"I'm terrified, kid," Reno said, his voice bored.

Yuffie stared at him, the corners of her mouth dropping. "YOU," she said, "will learn— to watch— your mouth with me— YET!"

Without further ado, she threw her shuriken. Reno stared as the golden weapon sped towards him. But as it passed Rude, the tall man raised his hand, catching it with perfect precision.

An astounded silence settled over the group; then Tifa strode towards Rude. "That was marvelous!" she said, her voice awed.

Yuffie gaped at Rude for a moment; but then she shook herself out of her astonishment and jumped towards him. "Give me back my shuriken!" she ordered.

Rude scanned the weapon for a moment. Then he placed it behind his back, his eyes meeting Yuffie's. "Sorry," he answered. "Considering the fact that you tried to kill my friend a moment ago, I don't think that I am going to do that."

"Idiot!" Yuffie said, glaring at him. "I wasn't going to kill him, Elena said not to! I just wanted to scare the hell out of him! Now give me my shuriken, before I forget my orders!"

But Rude merely shrugged and shook his head in negation, retreating a few steps. "Sorry," he said impassively. Behind them, Reno gave a short, derisive laugh. Hearing it, Yuffie whirled around, her eyes flashing.

"Fine!" she said, fuming. "Then I'll take THIS!" She darted towards Reno and, before he could react, snatched the nightstick from his hand and threw it into the bushes. "Now we're even!" she said, grinning fiendishly.

"You dare, kid?" Reno said angrily. But the ninja evaded him nimbly and darted up to Rude, snatching her shuriken from him with lightning speed.

"Next time I meet you crooks will be the last!" she hissed. Then she vanished into the bushes.

Zack's eyes were turned towards the direction of the town, and he seemed impatient at the delay. "Let's go," he said. "I want to reach the village as soon as possible." Without waiting for a reply he began to walk up the trail again. Tifa and Aerith followed him. Rude began to walk after them, but then noticed that Reno was making a frantic search through the brush.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Reno paused in his search, breathing angrily. "Damn that ninja kid," he swore. "She stole my nightstick!"


As Tifa followed Zack, she found herself falling behind him. His pace was quick, impatient, and he almost broke into a run as they approached the light shining from the other side of the woods. "Zack," she called to him. "Zack, wait for us."

If he heard her, he paid no attention. Then he suddenly stopped. He had reached a great opening, through which strong sunlight streamed, the dark leaves of the gloomy forest framing his figure in the brightness. For a moment it appeared to Tifa like a living painting, and everything was completely silent, even the noises of the wildlife stifled in the oppressive stillness. She approached him, her pace suddenly sluggish, as if she was afraid to disturb the tense atmosphere. When she reached his side she dragged her feet to a stop and stood mutely, watching the town.

Gongaga was a small rural village, with an air of poverty and humility. But there was something else about it now, something unusual, even worrying. The town was sunk into a listless silence under the white winter skies. And in the distance rose the dark form of the mako reactor, a spectacle of destruction.

"It's all wrong," Zack said, his voice breaking on the last word. "Look at this reactor—"

His voice trailed off; he moved again, running now, and Tifa struggled to follow.


Tifa and her companion trailed Zack through the narrow streets of Gongaga, following him at a respectful distance. His pace was slower now, but Tifa did not want to bother him with questions, and she and the rest of the group stuck together, occasionally exchanging uneasy glances.

Zack finally stopped before a small house in a narrow side-street, and glanced behind his shoulder at the others. "Home," he said, his voice lifeless. He pushed the door open without another word.

They waited outside. Tifa walked restlessly up and down the street. Reno was leaning against the wall, Aerith seated crouched next to him, looking tired from the long march. Rude smoked a cigarette at some distance, eying Tifa as she walked back and forth. They could all hear voices conversing from inside the house. After what seemed to Tifa a long time but in reality was only twenty minutes, they heard a door shut from inside the house. Then the front door moved a little, and swung open.

A woman stood in the doorway. "I'm sorry that you were kept waiting outside," she said, scanning their faces. "Zack told me to prepare a room for you. Come in, please."

They followed her into the house. It was, as expected, simple, small, and a little dark. Tifa seated herself on the narrow sofa, observing her surrounding. Rude sat next to her, with Aerith at his other side. Reno took a chair. Zack was nowhere to be seen.

This must be Zack's mother, Tifa concluded, looking at their hostess; a small woman, but when she smiled, Tifa could detect the resemblance between her and the young engineer. The woman brought them a jar of water and some glasses. Finally, Tifa felt compelled to ask. "Where's Zack?"

"There's been an accident in the reactor a week ago," Zack's mother answered quietly. "Many people died in the explosion. Zack did not know about it, of course, and... well, he's a little shocked. He knew most of these people. You'll have to forgive him. Please, all of you, rest a while, and I'll bring you some food."

"Thank you," said Tifa. "But don't make anything elaborate. A small meal would be sufficient."

Zack's mother inclined her head silently. Then she walked into the kitchen, and began to busy herself with the preparations for the meal. Tifa turned to her companions. "I guess that we'll be staying for now," she said listlessly.


Zack sat on a rock, looking out into the dark, lavish green of the woods, whose rich beauty created a poignant contrast to the melancholy spectacle of the town that they bordered. All day he walked restlessly around the town, speaking to many people that he knew, scouting the damage, looking at the reactor. Finally, he couldn't take the pain and shock anymore, and he retreated into the woods. Some of the people who died were young people his age, people he had grown up with and knew for many years. And just two weeks ago, he thought with anguish, they had still been alive.

And now he sat in thought, wrestling with a deep feeling of guilt. I did wrong, he thought. I abandoned my town, like Barret felt that he has done for Corel. But no, no— it was worse. I chose to neglect them.

He was struggling with a mortifying realization. He now realized that once he entered Shinra's employment, he had, without admitting it to himself, been proud of his work in that company; proud of himself for rising quickly in the ranks, proud of himself to be a success; and fascinated with his little project of spying on Shinra, enjoying the challenge and his cleverness in meeting it so well.

And, he thought, I forgot. I became very busy; drowning myself in my work, life passing by, day by day, with always something to do. It was easy, he thought, lowering his head into his hands, to take for granted that everything will be fine, if I didn't think about it, when I didn't hear that anything was wrong. If I haven't stayed in that city, I could have…

…Could have done… what? said an inner voice. You also wanted to help Cloud. You wanted to find out what was wrong with him. You felt that, after you abandoned him to become a test subject, you owed him that much.

And, he suddenly thought, don't I also owe Tifa that much as well? Isn't she, too, a victim of that day? Will I abandon her now? And didn't Barret just leave, and shouldered me with the responsibility of helping her?

Zack passed his hand over his face, and heaved a sigh. "Tell me," he said into the darkness of the silent woods, "what is the RIGHT thing to do?"


Evening descended on the town. Tifa sat on a small bed that Zack's mother prepared for her, looking through the window into the night skies. Here, they were almost black, and the stars shone faintly. The bedroom was small, and contained two beds that she and Aerith were going to take for the night. The men were going to sleep in the living room.

Zack's mother knocked on the door, peering in. "Tifa," she said, "dinner is ready. Would you like to join us?"

"I don't know," Tifa answered with a slight shrug. "I'm not hungry. Is Zack back yet?"

Zack's mother shook her head. "He's been taking it hard," she answered. "As if that horrible accident was his fault. But he always had this knack of blaming himself for things that he couldn't really have helped." She looked up, watching the night. "So many people died," she said softly. "Shinra has brought a great tragedy to this place, and we are all shocked and angry."

"I know that Zack is very attached to this place," Tifa said. "He spoke of it several times."

"Yes," Zack's mother said, smiling ruefully. She reminded Tifa of Zack when she did so. "I can't say that I'm not glad to see him back; it's been a while since he visited. I suppose that he just didn't have the time, occupied with his work at Shinra. It was a good job," she continued, although her tone was reserved. "The money he sent helped me a great deal. But now I think that the money's cursed. I'm glad that he decided to leave."

"I understand," Tifa responded. "But…" she hesitated, then decided to continue with the admission, feeling guilty, almost selfish, for asking. "You see… I'm wondering if he'll decide to stay here. Because we have a mission. And Zack— Zack helped us a lot. His help was invaluable."

Zack's mother scanned the young woman's anxious face. "It's true that it would be a good thing for us if he decided to stay," she said, in her quiet way. "But if he wants to continue on this quest, I won't stop him; I couldn't." Her rueful smile returned. "He seems like a mild person, but the truth is that he always does what he wants. But don't worry, my dear. Zack will make the right decision. If the mission is truly as important as you say it is, he'll adhere to it."


The woods around Gongaga were wild, and the undergrowth was high and tangled. Zack walked through the narrow paths, and halted for a moment, looking up into the pale skies that peeped between the leaves. He requested three days of Tifa to think about the situation, and those three days swept glibly by. The moment of decision was here; but, in fact, he knew that it had passed some time ago, with those days.

He heard voices from the brush; the party was on an outing. Tifa requested that they meet in the clearing, where he would relate his final decision to the others. He quietly approached them, watching them covertly from behind the trees.

Tifa was sitting on a rock, making a low conversation with Rude. Aerith and Reno were sitting back to back on the other side of the clearing, he pointing out to her the various wildlife of the forest. Such a small party, Zack reflected. They need me; they need anyone who would join them.

Yes, Zack thought; Gongaga needs me too. But I can't leave them, and let Tifa manage everything. It would be the wrong thing to do. Reno only helped when he felt like it. Rude, while he could do a lot, would not supply the discussion and debate that Tifa needed to make decisions. Aerith was too wayward, and revealed only what she chose to reveal. He could not help smiling as he observed her, as she leant against Reno. Such a strange little person she was. Charming, and strange.

He stepped out into the clearing, approaching Aerith and Reno. "Hey," he said, with a half-smile. "The two philosophers deciding the fate of the world with their backs to each other? I wonder if it's a good idea."

Reno stretched, yawning. "The last thing I want to do is decide the fate of the world," he said. "It's too much responsibility, and I leave it to Aerith."

Zack sensed Tifa's eyes on him and turned around. "Well," he said. "Let's return to Gongaga. We need to buy some supplies, so we can move on."

"You said 'we'," Tifa said quickly, her eyes searching his face. "So you ARE coming with us."

He observed her silently for a moment, and then said, "I won't abandon you, Tifa. Come on."

"Thank you, Zack," Tifa said, and her voice trembled slightly. "I know how much it cost you to make this decision. Thank you."

But Zack shook his head, looking down, and turned. "Not now," he answered over his shoulder. "Thank me when this mission is over."


A hand touched Tifa's arm, raising her from sleep. She rose in the bed, wiping her hand over her eyes, and blinking in the pale morning light. "What's going on?" she mumbled. "What's the time?"

A woman stood over her. It was Zack's mother. "Tifa," she said gently. "Zack told me to wake you up. He has urgent news. Your traveling companion— that girl, Aerith— she is gone."


Aerith had left a note behind her for the group before she went. The note instructed them not to look for her, but to remain in Gongaga and to wait for her to contact them because she thought that, at some point, she will need their assistance again.

"Well," Reno said, "would you look at that. We're all Aerith's humble little lackeys now."

The note engendered a lengthy and rather heated discussion. Zack and Tifa wanted to follow Aerith, to see if they can find and persuade her to join them again. But, unexpectedly, Reno strenuously opposed this plan.

"And what are you going to do when we find her?" he asked. "Tie her up so she doesn't sneak away again? Stalk her until she gives up and rejoins us?"

"She's vulnerable alone," Zack said. "And Shinra is still after her."

"If Shinra wanted to catch her, they will," Reno pointed out. "Shinra wanted to take her for years now. The only reason that she wasn't taken was that THEY decided to leave her alone. And guess what? Once they decided to take her, they took her, and not one of us could stop it. You remember who ended up rescuing her from Shinra? A complete stranger who was initially sent to kidnap her. She's just lucky she's so damned charming, to bewitch him into helping her this way, or she still would have been in Hojo's experiment lab."

At this, Tifa turned her head away. "But," Zack began.

Reno raised his hand to silence him. Then, unusual for him, he passed his eyes around the small group in an earnest and serious manner.

"Look," he said. "Tseng has known Aerith for years. He tried to stop her from doing what she wanted. He failed. I recently also tried to stop her from going off alone. I also failed. Rude—" he glanced at his friend, who had refrained from saying anything throughout the discussion, "must be the wisest of the three of us, because he never tried to stop her from doing anything; but if he had tried, he would also have failed. Aerith does what Aerith wants, and that is that. None of us can stop her. If we track her down she'll just shake us off. She already told Tseng long ago that she's willing to take the consequences, good or bad, for her actions. I told Tseng that she has a right to do so, and I still hold by that judgment."

Zack was silent, seeming reluctant to either agree or argue. Reno scanned his lowered face. "Hey," he said. "This is an opportunity for us. Why don't we stay here and help your town out, until she sends us a word? That way your own conflict is at least partially resolved."

Zack seemed to think Reno's words over. Then he rose to his feet. "I may have a partial solution," he said. He left the room. When he returned, he was holding the red panther doll.

Tifa leapt to her feet. "Hey!" she said. "This is mine, give it here!"

Zack smiled, but allowed her to snatch it from him. "I will contact Reeve," he said, "and see if he can help us at least track her, to keep an eye on her."

"Not sure that would be the best idea," Tifa said. "I still don't trust that man."

"I don't trust him either," Zack agreed. "But if he is working for Shinra, they would be tracking Aerith and trying to take her regardless. Why don't we at least see if he can be useful for us, and check if she's safe?" Then he sighed, and shook his head. "I still can't believe that she would go alone," he said. "Because it's clear for me that she's following Cloud."

"Don't you understand our little Cetra yet?" Reno said dryly. "She has a savior complex. She found a man who needs to be saved, and who, as a bonus, has saved her from a terrible fate. And he, the old-fashioned sort, if you will, found his girl on a pedestal. A perfect firestorm, these two."

At this, Tifa rose to her feet and left the room without a word. Zack raised an eyebrow and looked at Reno, who shrugged and looked down.

"It's all a perfect storm, I suppose," he muttered.


© Written by Hadas Rose

Final Fantasy VII is © Square, 1997.

I always had a hard time giving Barret things to do, and now that his story was finished I figured he can take a break. However, he will be back for the huge materia quest. He was actually fun writing up this time around, though, since I made him more sarcastic than hotheaded.