Chapter 15
Set Fire to the Rain
Levi sat outside on his enclosed patio while he agitatedly smoked a cigarette. The only good thing about today was it was a Saturday, which blessedly meant no classes aka he didn't have to see anyone. After that one really bazar sex dream, his sleep really didn't get any better. Since then every single dream he had, no matter what it was about, had that person in it. They had been together in so many different situations that, whatever his subconscious mind was trying to tell him, he knew this person was the focus. But why did his mind want to concentrate on this one individual? Someone whom he never even met? He also couldn't stop to wonder how all these strange things were related.
Sometimes, if he turned his head sideways, he could almost see it. But every one of these reasons pointed him back to that person. He was beginning to miss the days where they had just been incoherent flashes of terror. No true details. At least then, it didn't give him too much to think over.
On top of all of that, Levi could also feel something else began to eat at him. An irrational desire to see this person in his dreams. He was starting to feel like Alice; and the farther down the rabbit hole he went, the stranger things got and the more he wanted to see. Knowing the signs of insanity didn't necessarily stop you from going there.
He hadn't noticed his cigarette had burned out until he went to take a drag. 'Shit.' He had been smoking way too much lately. Tossing the butt in the ash bin, Levi decided that maybe instead of another cigarette he should try to eat something. His appetite had been whining since this all started. He had skipped dinner last night; and even though he had been up for a few hours, he hadn't had anything but coffee. He knew he needed to take better care of himself, but forcing himself to eat was never fun. It was a strange form of torture that just happened to be actually beneficial.
So with much exasperation, Levi got up from his overly elegant lawn furniture, and walked through double glass doors in search of something to eat in his kitchen. But before he could find the room, with a start, he realized that someone else already had. Levi lightened his steps to sneak up on the intruder, and as he approached the room, he could see someone digging in his fridge. He could see their butt poking out, but being able to identify the culprit did not take away all the tension from his shoulders. "HANJI!"
The mad scientist jumped at the voice, hitting their head on the door's shelf. Huffing, Levi crossed his arms and shook his head at the behavior that was all to Hanji. "What the hell are you doing here?"
Hanji turned to look at Levi while rubbing their head. "You weren't answering your phone."
"It's my day off. I don't have to answer anything if I don't want to."
Hanji put a finger to their lip as if thinking about what Levi just said. "Yeah, that is half true."
Levi gave them a recoiled expression before his usually one of classical annoyance. "And what's that shit supposed to mean?"
"Well it's true that if today was your day off you wouldn't have to. But you did have some work to do today." When Hanji didn't see him remember, they added, "We are supposed to have a meeting today for the band. I can't believe youforgot."
This was surprising to Levi, but he didn't let it show on his face. He had been so wrapped up in the bullshit of dealing with his dreams, and Eren, that he actually had forgotten something. He never forgot anything. Which was just another reason why these detailed dreams fucked with him so much. Levi realized that Hanji was staring at him now, well more like observing him, carefully. Before he had a chance to speak, they cut him off.
"Levi. You look… bad." Their face and eyes were softly gazing at him with a hint of concern. "What happened to you? And don't try to BS me. I know you better than anyone else." Knowing it would take a few minutes to get him to start talking, Hanji turned back to the fridge and began to pull out a few items. "I'm starving. Let's have breakfast together."
"I'm not hungry."
Hanji raised their eyebrows. "When was the last time you ate?"
"Tch." Levi turned his head to the side. He knew any further objection would do no good. That non-binary lab rat could be a force to reckon with if Levi refused to eat.
Satisfied that there was not going to be any argument and smiling, Hanji started moving around Levi's kitchen like it was their own. They took out a few pans and set them on the stove before reaching in the cabinets to get a few plates and bowls and other utensils needed.
As they worked, Levi walked up to the counter and took a seat on a stool. Looking at the stuff they were using, he concluded that they were cooking egg omelets with cheese, country ham, and toast. He always had some discomforts about them cooking in his house, but figured they hadn't exploded a lab, yet; although, that might have more to do with their lab and life partner, Moblit. Levi thought that person was either a saint or a psycho to be able to handle this hot mess every day. But Hanji was happy and alive, so that was all that mattered to Levi.
"So are you going to start talking, or do I need to fish it out of you?"
They set a fresh cup of coffee in front of him before they moved on to scrambling the eggs.
Levi adjusted his feet on the stool. He really didn't know where to start. It didn't make sense to him; it was too crazy. How could someone else understand what was going on in his mind? Well, this nut job wasn't exactly normal, so maybe they wouldn't sign his papers for the psych ward. Grateful to have something to fidget with, he picked up the cup around the rim and took a drink. He saw Hanji flash a quick smile, but he had long ago stopped trying to figure out what went on in that mind. Levi stretched to the other side of the counter to grab a coaster before placing the mug back on the marble, only to then stare at his cup as he tried to get his thoughts together. He watched the hot steam roll off the top of the liquid, and he banged his head down on the counter. "I think I have finally gone total fucking bat shit bonkers."
The loud thump had gotten Hanji's attention from the stove. Examining Levi, they knew this had to be something big. They flipped over the almost done omelet and turned the fire off on the stove. Picking up their coffee, they walked around the island and sat at the table trying to give Levi some space. "Well you know I'm the last person to ever judge anyone's mentality, so if you tell me about it, I'll take it seriously and believe what you say."
That was probably one of the most rational things that Levi had ever heard come out of Hanji's mouth. It oddly fit this situation perfectly. Either that or he was finally that far gone that Hanji was actually making sense to him. Picking himself up to a more dignified position, he swirled the seat to face Hanji. "You already know that I have always had those night terrors my whole life. And they have been hard to deal with at times." He watched Hanji silently nod, showing that they were listening, and he prepared himself to continue. "I had learned to cope with them, but recently they have changed. They have become much more than fleeting mixed images of carnage and death. They are now more vibrant and coherent. And now… not only about death."
For once Hanji's face was as expressionless as Levi's normally was. "Well can you give me an example? What exactly is it that you are seeing now?"
"A person." Levi said before he had a chance to gather his thoughts.
"Ok, so what does this person do exactly? And how do they make the dreams different?"
With Hanji's leading questions, Levi was beginning to wonder who the real shrink was here and realized he wasn't giving them enough to work with. "What this person does? It's complicated. But what makes this so different is I can see and remember in detail every dream that has them in it, him in it. It's so strange. These nightmares are some of the same horrors I had already seen before, but with him standing there next to me, I realized that I'm not afraid of the images. I'm afraid of something else. But I don't know what it is." Levi stopped and ran a hand up and down the back of his hair, using the soft picky feel of his undercut to help calm his anxiety.
"Levi, I respect that you are a super private person, but if I am going to help you I need more details. You said you remember, so try me. I won't think anything is strange about them." Hanji might have appeared to be as cool as a cucumber, but inside they were on the edge of their seat. Was Levi finally remembering? And if so what and how much? "They are dreams. And dreams are always strange."
Not wanting to give them the rundown of his nighttime erotic tales, Levi decided to give them the ones that didn't involve cocks flopping around. "Fine, Shitty Glasses, you want details?" Levi took a deep breath before he continued, "It's like everything is a cut scene. I know this sounds crazy, but it's like they are trying to tell a story, but the reels are out of order. Though from what I can piece together it seems that I'm a soldier fighting in an impossible war with man eating giants as tall as buildings. In the past, I never even understood that much, but now I can remember me killing these things. Whereas before, all I could see was them doing the killing.
"But what is really unsettling is not every dream is about fighting. I sometimes see myself living with a group of soldiers in very rudimentary compounds. I'm always surrounded by others, but the only one who really has a presence is that person. And he is always there no matter what I am doing: training, eating, fighting… cleaning." Putting his head down, Levi had to stop and sadly laugh silently at the last one. He even had to have things clean in his dreams. He gazed back up at Hanji to see them with the most unreadable aura he had witnessed in his life.
Hanji had their head down leaning forward on the edge of the chair, elbows on the knees, hands clasped together supporting their forehead as if they were praying. And eerily not moving one muscle. They could have given that 'thinker' statue some competition. After another few seconds of silence, staying in the same position they asked, "Exactly when and how long ago did your dreams start to change?"
The sound of Hanji's voice was almost unrecognizable to Levi. It put him a bit ill at ease, but he answered anyway. "It was just after the end of the tour. The next day as a matter of fact."
Hanji thought about what could have happened on the tour to bring about this change in Levi. Then it hit them. The boy. Hanji needed to meet that boy, but Levi said he didn't want to see him again. So this complicated the matter, but they could work around it. They always did. But first they needed to do something about Levi. They stood from the chair and walked back over to the stove. "Levi, we both know I'm not the expert when it comes to these things." Hanji took a pointing glance at Levi, before looking elsewhere and moving around in the room. "But~ I don't think there is anything bad about the things you just told me. And I know everything I am about to say you have heard before and know about, but maybe these things just slipped your mind because they're so simple.
"I know you already know what a dream journal is. Have you ever tried writing these new dreams down? You remember them, so this makes it much easier. Since you said they were like cutscenes write each dream on its own paper and see if maybe you could figure out some order with them that way. Having it out in front of you all at once, might be what you need to connect the dots."
Listening to Hanji's words, Levi didn't notice the plate of food that had suddenly appeared until after they stopped talking. Confiding in Hanji really didn't change the situation, but it did give him a chance to cohesively bring some of the pieces together. Maybe he should give that dream journal a chance. Being just a bit less agitated, Levi felt a hunger pain in his gut. "This isn't going to poison me, right?" Picking up the fork, he cut a piece of the eggs to try. It wasn't the best, but it also wouldn't kill him.
Hanji was pleased to see Levi was eating and telling jokes. But they knew, with him starting to remember some things, it wasn't going to be an easy time for 'Humanity's Strongest'. But they would be there for Levi as much as they could every step of the way. And maybe a few steps ahead if they got lucky. "Nan, you became immune to my cooking years ago. But I do got a give you a few boosters every now and again." The piece of egg Levi was about to put in his mouth fell off of the fork and on the edge of the counter before hitting the floor. And with the addition of the disturbed glower on Levi's face, Hanji could not hold back their laughter.
...
After making sure Levi had finished eating, Hanji told him not to worry about the band meeting they were having that afternoon. It's not like they were 'professionals' that needed to worry about a release schedule, so they could just reschedule it for a later day. What they didn't say was the meeting was still on. He just wasn't invited.
Hanji met Mike and Erwin on the second floor of The Jazzy Blue. It had two different recording studios and a small conference room as well as a private back entrance for exclusive band usage. When Hanji finally arrived, Mike and Erwin were already waiting on them.
"Where's Levi?" Erwin asked, sounding confused as he watched Hanji enter alone before sitting down across from the pair.
Hanji didn't waste any time getting to their plan. "He is not going to be joining us today. I need to talk to y'all about something important that relates to him, and he would throw an absolute bitch fit if he knew about it."
Mike and Erwin looked at each other intrigued but cautious and lightly stunned by their resident instigator. The only times they ever kept things from Levi was when things were serious and always for his own good. As far as they knew, Levi had been doing almost top notch.
Erwin cleared his throat and adjusted forward in his seat. "How bad is he?"
"Well first off, he forgot we had planned to meet today. Secondly, I practically had to force feed him before I got here." Hanji put a hand under their chin in a thinking jester. "If I had to say on a scale of 1 to 10, I would say 7 with things getting way worse before they get better." From having taken care of Levi for so many years now, Hanji could see that he was a few steps away from the edge.
The concern was clear on both men's faces. It was Erwin that took the lead. "7? That's a pretty quick turnaround from a 2 during the tour. Do you have any idea what caused this?"
"Yeah I do. But it's going to sound really unbelievable."
"Care to enlighten us?"
"I'm sure both of you remember Levi's bazar behavior the last night of the tour, right?" Hanji paused to make sure both men were on the same page as them. When the couple nodded their heads, they continued. "Well, all of that strangeness had to do with that guy we found him sitting with in the lounge. We all can agree that what we witnessed in that room was as if Levi had become a different person. Mike, I know you were more in the background, but I'm sure even you noticed."
Mike nodded his head. "Yeah, there was definitely something off with him that night."
"Yes, but what does this have to do with what is going on with Levi now?" Erwin asked.
"Let's just say this stranger had a bigger effect on Levi than he ever could realize. I'm sure of it. It's the only thing that makes scenes. Mike, you still have all the consent forms from the after party right?"
"Yeah. They are in my office." He replied.
Hanji's face lifted, becoming more like their perky self. "Perfect. Could you go get them for me right now, please?"
"Sure, but it might take a minute."
"That's ok. Take your time."
Mike let out an agreeing grunt and left the room in search of the documents.
Moments after the door had been shut, Erwin leaned in even closer. His eyes were serious as he honed in on Hanji. "So what are you not telling us? It's something you can't say in front of Mike. Isn't it?"
Mimicking Erwin's action, Hanji pushed inward putting their arms on the table. "You know who he is, don't you?" They pressed in a foreboding tone.
"Maybe. You know I don't have all of my memories. And they are spotty at best with some things."
"Well what do you remember?"
"He was a monster."
Jumping back a little, Hanji gasped, putting a hand over their open mouth. "No. There is no way Levi would have that kind of reaction to one of those things."
Erwin shrugged his shoulders. "You asked me what I remember, and I told you. Granted, I doubt that Levi would show any type of attachment or attraction to one of those things. But here we are."
"This makes me need to find that boy even more."
"That's right. You didn't get to touch him then, did you?"
Recalling how Levi almost killed them when they got close to the boy had Hanji getting excited again. "No, you saw it with your own eyes. Levi didn't want any of us to touch the boy. He was being possessively protective in a way I have never seen in this lifetime."
"But you witnessed him acting that way back then?"
"Kinda…AH!" Hanji shook their head ruffling their fingers through their ponytailed hair. "I remember him flipping the fuck out because someone important to him went missing, but I can't see who. You know how it is. It just gets all staticky and my brain wants to short circuit. Erwin, you have got to help me track down this boy before something bad happens."
"What did Levi say to you? How much does he remember?" Erwin flinched when he heard the door click open. "Don't worry, Hanji. We will find him."
Both Hanji and Erwin looked at Mike as he came into the room and went back to his previous seat before tossing the papers he was holding on the table. "This is the boy, right? I didn't get as good a look at him like y'all did, but I think this is him."
Both parties dove for the paperwork, but it was Erwin who got to it first. "This is a California ID… Eren Yeager…" Erwin's large caterpillars scrunched up on his forehead. Then with slight amusement, he stated, "18 years old. Definitely not Levi's usual cup of tea."
Hanji couldn't contain themselves anymore. Halfway crawling on the table, they reached over and snatched the document out of Erwin's hand. "California? Nothing can ever be easy with that man, can it?" They slumped back in the chair and blew a piece of hair out of their face.
"Hanji, I know this is not going to be as simple as it could have been, but at least we still have something to go on."
Hanji just looked at Erwin with a pouting expression, trying to bite their tongue before they said something Mike didn't need to hear. Things were getting even more complicated by the second, and they were not sure how much more they could take before they exploded. To their surprise, it was Mike that made the best suggestion.
"He might be still local. And if that's the case, I'm sure he will show up at the record shop eventually. And I can almost guarantee it if we put out new No Name stuff."
"You know that might work. Mike, you are a genius!" Hanji yelled.
"No, I'm just the one that runs a record store and deals with the most amount of fans on a daily basis. It's called 'Knowing what your customers want'. They always want something new. And new No Name is always the hottest."
A/N: Well as you can see things are about to start getting interesting. I'm actually looking forward to the next few chapters. There is going to be a lot of new developments happing in them. I just hope I can make it through the one really rough chapter that is coming up in the set because it honestly hurts for me to write it, but it has to be written because it is so important to the story.
But anyway, on a higher note, if anyone can correctly guess why I chose this song for this chapter, I will post the next chapter one week early. (Link for the song can be found on my profile with the other songs)
Please feel free to let me know what I can improve on. Thank you for reading. And please leave reviews to feed my starving muse ;)
