Chapter 14: Say Hi to My Childhood Friend, Deceit!


Qrow frowned as he left the elevator from Ozpin's office. He had really been hoping it would be some good news, but no. First he had to do paperwork to get transferred to Beacon from Signal, triggering the hellish nag that was Tai, then he finds out that Tai apparently met the kid he had been looking for for months just by riding the fucking ferry AND he shared their shared stash with the kid, and now the kid had some soul bullshit? One guy with a messed up soul was enough for him. Luckily, Epizon wasn't Ozpin, so if Qrow just used his charm to it's best effect, he was sure that nothing could go wrong and everything would work out. Also that the kid was going to murder Ozpin if he tried shoving any paperwork onto him, but from what he had found out for Ozpin, they both knew the kid would be useless at filling out paperwork either way. Qrow sighed as he stepped out of the elevator and began walking towards the cafeteria to get lunch and some well deserved drinks. Qrow yawned as he pulled out his hip flask and took a good swig of it before smiling. At least the day couldn't get much worse, I mean, all he was doing was getting lunch, and his nieces were getting lunch, and Epizon was… getting lunch. Qrow paled as he realized he had forgotten to show Epizon the teacher's lounge where they normally ate. This... This wouldn't end well. He picked up his pace to the cafeteria with a renewed scowl. Damn his Semblance...


Epizon yawned as he left what was essentially the teacher's all you can eat buffet and the sounds of the students flowed back around him like a tidal wave. He cut off his yawn with a sigh as he saw team RWBY, or more accurately, their leader, waving him over. He could spend all day looking for the staff lunge, or he could cut his losses, sit his ass down, and exact revenge on Qrow later. He decided that plan B with a touch of whiskey would be the best option. It was something he had been regretting since Nora had caught sight of him.

"-oh and what about that trick you pulled against Yang! You were so fast! Can you teach me that?! Is it your Semblance? Do you like riding Ursai? Do you like pancakes? How old are you? Why are you ignoring everyone and eating quickly? Are you trying to get away from us?"

Epizon finished his whiskey with a sigh before turning to Ren, who seemed much quieter than his partner. "Is she always like this?"

Ren nodded as he drank a strange green… smoothie? Nora repellant? Epizon wasn't sure, he just knew that she didn't seem to like it's existence. The fact she tried throwing it out a window may or may not have helped him come to that conclusion.

Epizon sighed before turning to Nora. "I'll answer some of your questions if I feel like it, I won't if I don't. Other than that don't blow up my drinks and we should get along just fine. Now start asking." He paused for a second as Nora opened her mouth to begin before adding in an afterthought. "One question at a time."

Nora pouted briefly before she continued. "Ok then Epizon. First off, are there any nicknames I can call you? Like Prof, Ep, Zon, Zo, Drunk Professor 2.0? Anything?"

Epizon sighed in exasperation. "Just call me whatever. I don't much care either way."

Nora grinned. "Ok then Zo! So what brought you to Beacon?"

Epizon looked at her exasperatedly. "Work. My new job is to teach you kids how to not die like a bunch of idiots. Or at least how to last a bit longer before you do."

Nora and Ruby pouted as the rest of the table frowned before Weiss spoke up. "Why would you decide to work here? You don't seem to like the work, and from what I know you're not short on money or work, so why did you decide to work here?"

Epizon grinned. "Good question. Sadly, the answer to that is classified under the category of "shit I won't be sharing because I don't feel like it. Next question."

Blake glared at him. "If you hate us so much, why are you even answering our questions?!"

Epizon smirked at her. "There are very few things on Remnant I can say I hate anymore, and I can assure you, neither you nor any of your friends rank higher than being annoyances. The only reason I'm answering any questions is because quite frankly, I am just trying to waste time until I can have a chat with Ozpin. You won't be getting anything important about me unless I decide to tell you it, and I'm not inclined to do so, so take your moody attitude and shove it up your ass. Next question?"

Ruby perked up, ignoring the end of Epizon's reply. "What are you meeting Professor Ozpin for?"

Epizon shrugged. "It's the first time in about a decade that I've been in Vale around this time of year, so I figured I'd ask Ozpin if I could take care of some personal business really quick this week."

Ruby grinned. "What personal business?! Are you meeting friends? Oh! Are you-"

Epizon interrupted her. "No. I don't have much in the way of acquaintances in Vale past those I've made through long-distance business. The personal business is just visiting Patch on April 7th, this Thursday."

He saw Ruby turn to the rest of the table and do some kind of… silent conversation? Whatever the case, she turned back after 5 minutes of silence, pointed looks, and in the case of Blake, a variety of different glares. Their teamwork was definitely something strange. Ruby finished what looked top be a rather heated, though silent, debate, before turning back to him. "Can we come along!"

Epizon looked at her curiously. "Why would you want to come along? Is it just to visit your dad?"

Ruby shook her head. "Sure, me and Yang can visit him but we already visited him during the break! Whatever you're doing has to be something cool! "

Epizon snorted. "Whatever you want to think, kid. If you can somehow get Ozpin to give you and your friends permission to tag along and I get permission to go, then sure. It's not that big of a deal anyways. Now I've got 5 more minutes before I want to go talk to Ozpin, so ask questions if you want, come along to help convince him if you want, or sit around or whatever."

His attention was drawn to Pyrrha when she cleared her throat quietly. "What do you want to ask?"

"If it isn't too much to ask, where are you from and where did you learn to fight?"

Epizon paused before shrugging. "It's not too much. I originally came from Patch, then I lived in Atlas for a bit, and then I just travelled Remnant surviving. I originally learned to fight with some friends in Atlas, and from there built up my own style of fighting. Why do you ask?"

Pyrrha smiled. "Just curious. You didn't seem to fight according to any of the more well known styles from any of the kingdoms, and from there I wanted to know where you came from since you're the only teacher who looks close to our age."

Epizon nodded before he saw Nora vibrating in place with a grin in her chair. "Yes Nora?"

Nora leaned towards him excitedly. "Are we going to be meeting any of your friends or family?! Is that why you're going to Patch?"

Epizon shrugged. "I guess that's close enough to the truth. Anyways, it's about time I talk to Ozpin and then hunt down Qrow, so I'll be going now." He stood up to leave before blinking in surprise as he saw Ruby burst into being in front of him, a trail of petals in between where she was and where she had been eating.

"I'll come with you!" Ruby said with a wide smile.

Epizon shrugged as he continued walking. "Cool." As he reached the doors to the cafeteria they burst open, Qrow rushing through them to stop in front of Epizon.

Qrow blinked before straightening up and waving half-heartedly at Epizon with a wry grin. "Hey kid, sorry that I forgot to show you the lounge last night. Want me to show you the way or you are busy?"

Epizon snorted. "With what? I'm not going to get caught dead doing any paperwork or shit like that unless I have to, which I don't. I'm actually on the way to Ozpin's office to have a chat and your niece wants to come with me since she wants to come with me on a little trip this Thursday."

Qrow blinked before his eyes narrowed slightly. "What's the trip? I figure I should know if my niece and her friends might be involved."

Epizon smirked. "I'll tell you later. If they're coming with I might as well make it a surprise. It won't be anything dangerous, but I'll leave the specifics for later. Would you like to come with me for the meeting too so i can just explain what I'm going to be doing to you and Ozpin as soon as your niece leaves?"

Qrow shrugged. "Sure. I just left a meeting with him and don't have much to do, so why not hang out with a drinking buddy?"

Epizon's attention was drawn to attention as she cleared her throat impatiently. "And why can't you just tell him the specifics with me around?"

Epizon chuckled. "If I'm going to be bringing a bunch of kids along on a trip like this, then I'm going to make it a bit of a surprise. After all, I can think of a lesson or two I could teach you kids on this trip. Now either stay here and chat or come with me, I don't care."

Qrow looked towards where Ruby had been only to see her already right behind Epizon as they walked through one of Beacon's courtyards, and sighed before following after them. "So how was your first day of teaching the kids? Did my nieces give you a good spar?"

Epizon shrugged. "They were decent, though very bad at listening to warnings."

Qrow chuckled. "Let me guess, they did exactly what you warned them not to do?"

Epizon chuckled. "Yep. I told them they shouldn't use fire and they threw a huge ball of it at me. Shame it didn't work out for them, but warnings are there for a reason."

Qrow snorted. "So pretty much you curb stomped them?"

Epizon shrugged. "Pretty much. They got some good hits in on me, but they didn't really make me go all out either. It was a good morning exercise though. Speaking of, why the hell didn't you wake me up? I almost got chewed out for being late!"

Qrow winced as they entered the lobby of Beacon Tower. "About that… I was a bit hungover and I may have forgotten about you…" He paused as a thought struck him. "Speaking of, how the hell are you already feeling better? You didn't even seem phased during our drinking contest yesterday!"

Epizon smirked at him. "Let it never be said that I can't hold my liquor. Also let it never be said I've lost a drinking contest, because anyone who tells you that deserves to be shot for their lies."

Qrow stared at him. "In all seriousness though, how high is your alcohol tolerance?"

Epizon shrugged. "I can't exactly quantify it, but let's put it at enough to kill at least a dozen men and I'll be between tipsy and drunk for a little bit. It's bullshit like that. On an even better side of things, I don't get hangovers, so even if someone did manage to hypothetically beat me in a drinking contest, I'd end up better off than them the next day."

Qrow sighed as Epizon opened the elevator and they filed in, before Epizon pressed the button for the top floor. "Yeah yeah, rub it in why don't ya kid. Let's get this meeting over with."

Epizon looked at Ruby inquisitive as she cleared her throat. "So can you at least give me a teensy tiny hint on what we're doing if Ozpin lets us go? Location? General objective? Anything?"

Epizon smirked at her. "Sure. We're going to an island in Vale named Patch, so that I can visit some people I used to know. They won't be very talkative unless a miracle occurs, but I would be open to watching you and your friends try and fail to strike up conversation with them."

Ruby pouted at him before her eyes filled with determination. "I bet we can get them to talk to us!"

Epizon smirked at her. "How much are you willing to bet on that?"

Ruby paused. "Uh… 10 Lien?"

Epizon grinned as the elevator doors opened and he walked through. "Make sure to bring the money for after we get there Ruby. Something tells me that you made a fool's bet."

Ozpin looked towards them from where he was standing at the window, Professor Goodwitch at his side as a hologram above Ozpin's desk flickered off. Qrow waved his hand at them as he greeted them. "Hi Oz. The kid's have a proposition for you and I decided to tag along. Hope we didn't interrupt the tail end of your conversation with Jimmy?"

Ozpin smiled at them as he walked around the desk, Professor Goodwitch trailing behind. "We were just finishing up. What is this proposition?"

Epizon opened his mouth to reply before his eyes caught sight of what Ozpin was now leaning on while facing them, what looked to be a simplistic cane with clockwork in the handle with a very familiar, plain black end. Epizon's eyes narrowed slightly before he replied. "Just a trip to Patch to visit my family. I made the mistake of telling the kids and now they want to come with. Ruby decided she would come to this meeting to try to convince you to let her, her team, and team JNPR come with me, while I'm here to convince you to let me have next Thursday off so I can go on the trip. There's some other reasons for me wanting to go other than just visiting, but I'll tell you after Ruby leaves, which will probably end up being after you say yes or no. I've also got some other things to talk to you about once she leaves, but that can wait a bit."

Ozpin paused before smiling at him. "I will gladly let you take teams RWBY and JNPR along with you, so long as you can provide a reasonable explanation for the paperwork involved."

Epizon glared at him. "If you try to make me do paperwork I will quit and just take a job as security or something. Do you want Glynda to tear you a new one?"

Ozpin stared at him. "You would be in just as much danger."

Epizon smiled at him. "That's a risk I'm willing to survive."

Ozpin sighed. "Fine. I will fill out the paperwork, but I still need a reason for this trip."

Epizon paused and thought before turning to Ruby. "You got any ideas?"

Ruby blinked at him. "Field trip?"

Epizon shrugged as he turned to Ozpin. "What she said."

Ozpin nodded as Glynda glared ineffectively at him. "Very well then, that is sorted. You may go now Ms. Rose."

Epizon watched as Ruby entered the elevator and she waved goodbye as it shut before he turned to Ozpin with a smile plastered on his face. "So I was going to start by telling you why I'm heading to the graveyard Thursday, but as it stands I'd like to know why you were not only there when my family got hunted down, but didn't help any of us?"

Ozpin blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

Epizon sighed as his smile dropped. "I remember your cane from the shit show where everyone else got killed. I'm not going to try and kill you or anything like that since you've already told me who's responsible, and I'm assuming the smoke drew you over, but why didn't you help us?"

Ozpin sighed. "Ah. The simple truth is that I had been hoping to find your family for a bit, and when I got reports of large amounts of smoke, screams, and the like, I was fairly certain it would either be your family or something else equally worth dealing with, especially since it came from a region that had previously been thought inhabited only by Grimm. When I got there, I did my best to search for survivors, but when the smoke cleared, there were none to be seen. After that I had the graveyard set up and did my best to forget about your family and their gift until I found out about you. Is that all you wished to know?"

Epizon nodded. "Sure. Now as for the reason I'm headed out to the graveyard is for some experimenting. Nothing that should affect any of you, and in fact it will only affect me, so I won't be sharing any specifics on it. That and it's the first year I'm here since everything went to shit, so I'm going on Thursday since that's the anniversary of their deaths and all that. After that I'll take the kids back here and I'll probably drink all of the stock in some random bar."

Ozpin raised a brow at him as Professor Goodwitch's glare swiveled onto him like a spotlight. "And what might your reasoning for going out drinking be?"

Epizon grinned wryly. "Either my experiment will work and I might need it, or it won't and I'll definitely need it."

Ozpin sighed. "I'm assuming that that is all you will tell us for now?"

"Yep."

"If I may ask, why is it that you don't trust us with much information? We have freely given you information for your help against those who killed your family, so why can you not give us that same trust? Things like your Semblance, the full extent of your skills, how we could help you get your gift back, things like that. You can't expect us to be able to help you without knowing how, can you?" Ozpin said with a resigned sigh.

Epizon smirked at him. "I don't expect you to help me with much except for making Salem's life harder. I don't trust you with the information to do much else to help me either, because I've only known you for like a day. If it makes you feel any better, there are only 3 people including me who are still alive on Remnant who know what my Semblance is, so if that's the part that's got you all up in arms, don't expect to learn about it unless I think you need to. Anyways, since you've said you'll sort this field trip thing or whatever up, can someone other than Qrow show me the way to or tell me where my room is? He only showed me where to find food and where his stash was and then he got drunk off his ass. Also, is there some kind of teacher's lounge or something? I don't want to spend every meal with a bunch of brats getting interrogated."

Qrow winced as Professor Goodwitch's glare turned to him. "Uh… My bad?"

Ozpin sighed. "Glynda, can you show Mr. Akónito to his room while me and Qrow have a chat about whether or not he will be keeping his current stock of liquor? It should be room number 13, 2 doors down from your room."

Epizon smirked. "Hey, if you decide that he can't have his stash, can I sell it's location to you in exchange for the hardest liquor in it?"

Professor Goodwitch sighed before waving her riding crop and, much to Epizon's annoyance, lifted him through the air into the elevator. As the doors closed behind them Ozpin raised his voice as he spoke up for the final time of their meeting. "As a heads up, I will be calling you here to have a chat with a longtime friend and ally of mine in the next couple of days. Do try to to be too antagonistic towards him, Qrow does enough of that as it stands."

Epoizon smirked as he nodded at Ozpin before turning to Professor Goodwitch as the doors closed and they began to descend. "So I'm guessing that's a no to you guys letting me sell the location to you?"

Professor Goodwitch glared at him as she raised her riding crop threateningly.

Epizon shrugged. "Worth a shot. I guess I should invest in getting my own stash."


A click followed by a loud yawn rang throughout a wide white hallway as the door in front of a 5 and a half foot tall woman with brown hair, light green eyes, freckles, and glasses, wearing a plain white lab coat, walked through. The door clicked closed behind her as she walked in to see her co-worker behind his desk. "Not at your clinic Pietro?"

The grey haired man chuckled as he raised his gaze towards her, glasses glinting briefly in the light. "Ah you came in today? I was assuming that chat with your friend that you've been talking about for a while would go on longer. You seemed quite excited about that Rebecca."

Rebecca sighed as she sat down at a smaller, newer looking wooden desk at the side of the room, between Pietro's desk and a small platform on the other side of the room, with 2 screens to the side and above it, and 3 neon green scanners in increments along a central dust machine that extended from the platform up to about 7 feet in the air where the second screen was attached. "I was. Sadly, he's just as determined not to let me help him with anything as he was the last time we spoke, and hung up on me before we could continue talking past that. Jackass doesn't want me to so much as think of doing anything to help him past occasionally doing some repairs for him. Anyways, how has Penny been? Still up with Ironwood in his battleship and all that?"

Pietro nodded with a smile before a frown took its place. "He's doing his best to keep Penny safe, in his own way. Though Penny was privy to a rather interesting meeting today, which from the sounds of it, concerned your friend. I don't mean to dig for information, but exactly what is his problem? I can't very well help you to solve it if I don't know it, n0ow can I? If I could, I would do my best to help you without knowing, but from what Penny told me today rather enthusiastically sounds like something I'd need specifics to solve."

Rebecca frowned. "He may be a jackass, but he trusted me not to tell anyone. I can't just go around breaking his trust. It's not something he gives out anymore."

Pietro sighed. "Rebecca, I'm going to be honest with you. You're a kind girl, even if you have your moments of frustration. To put it bluntly, based on what little I know of the situation, I'm not sure you can trust your friend's feelings. If he has given up on himself, then it is up to you to do what you feel is best. If you think I can help with that, I will help however I can. It's the least I could do to repay you for your help. Whatever you do, make the decision you think is right. I once made the mistake of leaving a friend on the path he thought was right, and he paid the price." Pietro turned back to his work with a sad smile.

Rebecca sat quietly for a bit before nodding resolutely and turning towards Pietro again. "If you will help me, I would like-no. I will need your help Dr. Polendina. I haven't been able to help him alone with minimal help in years of effort, so maybe it's time I get more extensive help from an expert."

Pietro looked up and smiled at her as his chair rose and it's 4 white and green legs took him to where she sat. "Well then Dr. Chartreuse, let's begin. What is the actual problem? What is the source? How will my knowledge best help you?"

And so it was that Dr. Rebecca Chartreuse, a lesser-known expert in weaponry, prosthetics, and Aura, worked together with the mind behind project P.E.N.N.Y. , with a smile that widened as each second passed by. If her friend was going to be stubborn then she would get the help she needed to drag him back from the edge kicking and screaming. She owed him that much.


Epizon waved Glynda goodbye as he used his Scroll, which she had just added some of Beacon's software to, to unlock his door and walk inside. It was a nice enough room, though from the looks of it this was just the office portion, a 10' x 7', with a wooden door in the back leading to what he assumed would be his living space. His office was rather plain, just a plain wooden desk with a rolling chair behind it, along with some pens and other stationary organized neatly. He would probably move some things and add some decoration to fill the empty space, use this as a living room or something? He'd do something with it.

For now, he had more things to check out. He quickly walked over to the wooden door and opened it with another swipe of his Scroll before blinking. It was strangely normal for what he had expected from Beacon. A 15' by 15' room with a queen size bed in the far right corner next to a window, a small coffee table and couch facing a medium sized flat screen TV on the right wall. His eyes flickered past the open bathroom door in the far left corner that led to a small room with the basic shower/bath combo, a sink and mirror, and a toilet before landing on the most eye catching part of the room. A kitchen area took up much of the left side of the room, with a counter, a small table, an oven, sink, microwave, and fridge, with several cabinets and drawers built into and above the counters, and most notably, a large, brilliantly sparkling coffee machine. Epizon stared at it for a second before opening a drawer and noticing a shocking amount and variety of coffee beans inside. "Huh. I guess I know where all their budget goes."

He sighed and closed the drawer before closing the door to the room again and walking to his bed before freezing and coughing explosively before wiping his mouth with his left hand, wincing as he saw the crimson streaks spread across the back of his hand. He sighed before changing directions and moving towards his new bathroom to wash his hands. It was times like this that he was glad his right arm was waterproof. Otherwise it'd be a bit more irritating to wash the blood off when his body acted up, which had been happening much more frequently then it used to. Becca would probably have some rant to throw his way if she heard, but then again, she was on the other side of Remnant. So long as she never came in person to see him, she never had to know. He chuckled quietly to himself as he turned the faucet on and began washing his organic hand with some basic vanilla soap and water before turning the water off and drying it with a small hand towel. It was rather ironic that her obsession with helping him would be the thing that hurt her goals the most, but a welcome irony. Epizon left the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a click before walking towards his bed and closing the blinds, before pulling out his Scroll to make sure he had an accurate map to his room and leaving his room, and then his office in quick succession.

He yawned as he walked down the hallway, navigating the twists and turns of Beacon with his Scroll as he neared where Qrow's stash had been the night before. Glynda probably hadn't had time to find or confiscate it yet, so he might as well take the strongest liquor he could get from it. That should make resting a bit more peaceful, and a lot less memorable. He paused and cursed before checking his Scroll and sighing in relief as he saw that it had a forge/workshop area on campus. He quickly stepped to the side of the hall he was currently in and exited the map of Beacon and swiped to the left before tapping on an app with an intricate snowflake icon and quickly scrolling through and tapping several buttons as his bank account dropped with his purchases. He checked and saw that the large shipment of Dust, ammunition casings for Hellfire and Rend, along with some more complex pieces of Dust machinery which would go a long way towards maintaining his arsenal, would arrive some time the next day or the day after on a bullhead directly into Beacon.

With that out of the way he continued his journey to Qrow's stash after re-opening Beacon's map on his Scroll, making a note to visit the workshop on Tuesday after his supplies arrived to make his ammunition and finish up his little weapon of GFY. He would probably need to make a couple of them, but for now, he needed to make some prototypes to test out. After all, when telling someone to go fuck themselves, there was no limit to how creative Epizon could be, or how explosive the results could be. Alice had definitely taught him well enough that even if he didn't get to use any on Salem, or did and they didn't do much for long against the immortal bitch , he'd make sure the message got across. Epizon's smile, which had been genuine in it's bloodthirst, if nothing else, disappeared as it was quickly replaced by a contemplative frown.

It appeared that sticking around Beacon would probably be very long-term indeed. Even if he would continue working with Ozpin, he hadn't intended on staying at Beacon forever. Plans had a tendency to change though, especially when Ozpin had twisted the truth in their meeting. Very subtly, and if it had been anyone else, Epizon was sure it would have gone unnoticed, but Ozpin hadn't been telling the whole truth. So for now Epizon had to stick close to figure out what Ozpin was hiding. After all, there was a saying among the mercenaries who were worth a damn, those who weren't just shit Hunters. Keep your acquaintances and investments close enough to protect, your enemies within reach of the nearest weapon of mass destruction, and those who were unknowns in the sweet middle spot where you could use whatever the hell you had available to find out where they stood and react accordingly. Epizon liked to think his past accomplishments proved he was skilled at checking all the necessary boxes involved.


Roman sighed as he sat down at his desk, Neo eating a tub of ice cream on a chair to his right. Things… They had gotten pretty damn complicated huh. He frowned as he looked back onto the night before when he let himself get captured by the kid who took out Neo. His plan with that had gone to shit the moment the kids got involved, but it didn't look like it would have worked out very well anyways. The kid was pissed off for some reason and probably wouldn't have wanted to talk much. Even if the kid did want to talk though, from what little Roman had found out, the kid probably wouldn't help Roman. The kid took out Neo somehow, and dug his way out from under an overpass too, so Roman wasn't sure if he could have beaten the guy in a fight either. Especially if the guy decided to use Neo as a hostage. Roman was pretty much stuck, and the only viable option he could see was to follow Cinder's orders until she decided to off him, and hope he and Neo survived. Roman's brow furrowed as he got a message before his eyes widened and he turned top Neo with a smirk. "Neo, we've got a possible win condition over here."

Neo blinked before carefully placing down her tub of ice cream and walking over to him to look at his Scroll's screen before a sly smirk grew on her face at the contents. "That's right Neo. We can hit two birds with a single stone. If we manage to get the kid on our side, all we need to do is have him pass along some information to his colleagues and Cinder's plans go to shit. We play it right, we could even get witness protection or some shit like that. You said when she was breaking us out, Cinder told you she would be taking you to the school with her when she infiltrated, right?"

Neo nodded as her smirk widened.

Roman grinned. "Well then, how about you have a little meeting with Beacon's new combat professor about some troubles you've been having. Maybe jog his memory a little." he chuckled as he thought of something. "Hey Neo, when the bitch finds out that Epizon's a teacher at Beacon, take a picture of her face, would you? If she needs help getting out of there whenever things go to shit, remember to use Hush and give her a little reminder about how much we love her employment package. It's such a wonderful back scratcher that she can't possibly miss the point!"

Roman chuckled as Neo rolled her eyes. "Hey, that was good, you can't deny that!" Roman frowned as his mirth disappeared. "When we go to Mt. Glen, be careful. We should at the very least have company in the form of the kids at some point with the information I dropped at the rally, and now that he's a teacher, we've got a higher chance of Epizon coming along too. If they drop in "uninvited", do your best to communicate with him and I'll do the same. If we can't get his help, we're going to have to stick with Cinder for even the slightest hope of survival. So do your best, because having her destroy damn near everything in Vale? Well, I've taught you enough to know that shit like that just isn't good for business."


Omake: Of Monsters, Men, Mice, and Marble

Deep within Beacon, in the heart of the staff room, a shadow loomed, waiting for it's time to strike. As a flash of red light appeared in front of it, accompanied by the end of the splashing sound that had previously come from the machine the shadow watched in anticipation for this, the moment of victory that was at hand! The shadow reached forwards… and Dr. Oobleck drank deeply from the cup of coffee that he had just made, a pinch of high quality energy dust as usual. He sighed in relief at the taste as he looked around at the nearly empty room around him, with only the many chairs, coffee machine, vending machine, large central table, and Professor Port, who looked to be sleeping with his feet propped up on the table, telling some tale about a Manticore or a Nemean. Oobleck smiled as he looked at Port, thoughts roaming towards the peace that had risen in the school recently in the absence of Port's absence as a volunteer nurse. Honestly, the students were more scared of him than the school's actual doctor at this point, which was more than a little disturbing. Nonetheless, things had calmed down and even when someone had broken an arm in his class, Port hadn't become the demon who haunted the school's every moment in previous years. Oobleck took another sip of his coffee before he turned to leave the room, freezing as he stared at Port in horror. "No…"

Port looked at him from behind his squinted eyes with what was most likely a grin, mustache stretching into the shape of one where most people's mouths would, and spoke. "Indeed! It is I, he who once nursed a fully grown Goliath back to health after beating it into submission again and again for a whole month! He who watches over the students of Beacon, ensuring they stay healthy by keeping them in the infirmary, safe, even if their future health must come at the cost of their present health! Nurse Port!"

Oobleck paled as his hand quickly blurred to his pocket and pulled out his Scroll, which he quickly called Ozpin on. Ozpin picked up on the second ring, as Oobleck backed towards the door away from the approaching Nurse Port. "What do you need, Oobleck? I just got done with a talk with Qrow over something and have to do some paperwork for our newest professor."

Oobleck looked at Ozpin through his Scroll with a deadly serious face. "Ozpin, he is back! Code Burgundy! Nurse Port is back and he's after someone! Bring in all the-"

Ozpin looked at his phone in horror as Port's face took up the screen. "Ozpin! Staying healthy, are we? Good, good... I'm just going to give Bart over here a check-up real quick and then I'll be heading over to see our newest professor! He needs a checkup after all, and with his unhealthy drinking habits, I just have to make sure he's in top condition, you understand? Do make sure Qrow doesn't run off either, I need to give him a check up too!"

Ozpin's face paled as static 5toom up the screen and the words "Call Disconnected" appeared on the screen. He quickly dropped the Scroll and ran to a small alcove in the sid of his office, shattering a large plastic case and slamming his hand down onto a big red button within, labeled simply "Code Burgundy", activating sirens throughout the school as his voice was transmitted along with them to speakers in every room and hall. "Attention students and staff, this is not a drill! I repeat, this is not a drill! Nurse Port is on the hunt, and has priority on Professors Branwen and Akónito! Protect them from the Nurse while I call in the cavalry! Nurse Port has already taken down Professor O"

Ozpin turned towards the elevator as it opened, Professor Goodwitch storming through. "Glynda! Where are the rest of the staff? Are Qrow and Epizon safe? Where is the cavalry!"

She sighed as she stopped in front of him. "Ozpin, the rest of the staff are busy holding him off for now while Oobleck is being taken to safety. He is currently in what seems to be a coma, with Nurse Port having given him enough sleeping pills to kill a herd of Goliath, in what Port states as a cure for Oobleck's addiction to coffee."

Ozpin lowered his head solemnly. "I see. What about Qrow and Epizon. Have they been taken already? Are the cavalry on their way?"

Professor Goodwitch smiled slightly. "Qrow disappeared as soon as the sirens started blaring, with the nearest students reporting nothin but a rather odd crow flying as far into Vale as possible, in the general direction of Patch. As for Epizon, that is up in the air. I looked for him as soon as you sounded the alert, but all I found was an empty room. I believe that if my estimates on his character are correct, he will be moving to take over Qrow's stash, and may not even know to be afraid of Nurse Port. Nurse Port undoubtedly knows this, and will-"

They were interrupted as the intercoms crackled to life once more. "Attention Epizon and Qrow. I have taken your booze hostage, and shall be keeping it until you come to the central courtyard and face me for it! Come within the next minute or it will make an excellent healing salve!"

Ozpin and Glynda paled as they heard loud crashes sounding out throughout the school, headed towards the central courtyard. Ozpin turned to Glynda desperately. "How long will it take the cavalry to get here!"

Professor Goodwitch smiled as she looked down at her Scroll before looking through the window behind Ozpin's desk. "They're dropping in right… now."

Ozpin turned and his face morphed into a relieved smile as he saw a bullhead pulling in from Vale and descending in the courtyard, crowds of students rushing away as Nurse Port stood on top of what looked to be an entire storage closet, floor, walls, door, and a chunk of the hallway, with a trail of destruction that looked to lead to its origin. What caught their eyes the most though, was not his ho=stage, but rather, his outfit. White stockings and boots with red trim, with what could generously be called a white miniskirt, but more realistically be called a weapon of mass destruction and abomination to be destroyed, white and red corset, and a mustache somehow turning into a small handlebar mustache that extended nearly half a foot from his face. Already some of the students could be seen crawling away, trying to hold down their vomit, with others having given in to the sweet release of unconsciousness.

The bullhead opposite him opened and smoke seemed to pour from it like a tsunami, hiding those within as they came out, only seen as 2 figures, each holding a small box in one hand and a taser in the other. As the smoke cleared, it revealed the president and the head of Vale's branch of PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, holding 2 covered crates with plastic handles on top.

Ozpin sighed in relief as he turned to Professor Goodwitch. "Glynda, tell them to send in the cavalry."

Professor Goodwitch nodded as she pressed a button on her Scroll. "PETA, this is Glynda Goodwitch speaking, Send in the Anti-Port units."

Down below in the courtyard, as Professor Goodwitch's voice came through a small Scroll attached to the head of PETA's Vale branch, the president and Vale branch head kneeled down and pointed the crates at Port before opening them. Instantly, what seemed like hundreds of mice, all wearing small military helmets, with Auras shining around them, marched around Port, surrounding him on all sides before beginning to close in.

Nurse port froze before turning quickly, looking around for an escape route, panicking more as, with every second, the mice grew closer. Ozpin's and Glynda's eyes widened as he tensed to jump over them, and Ozpin turned to her in a panic. "We need more time! He usually doesn't try to jump, we need him to be scared stiff! Can they move faster?!"

Professor Goodwitch paled. "They're going as fast as they can. I didn't expect him to try this since normally he gets scared as soon as he senses a mouse within half a mile of him. I'm sorry sir, but for what it's worth… It's been an honor."

Ozpin turned back to the window and his eyes widened. "I think we have a solution."

Professor Goodwitch looked and saw a volley of large marble support pillars from the cafeteria fly towards Port, who was caught mid-jump and landed right behind the circle of mice, where the other pillars crashed on top of him, pinning him down long enough for the mice to close in and scare him into unconsciousness.

Professor Goodwitch blinked as her head lowered to look at their origin, Epizon, who was now sprinting towards what had previously been Port's hostage, arms wide and a smile on his face as he took it and dragged it with him through a series of small holes in the walls of Beacon towards his room, each hole growing much wider as he and his recent acquisition passed through them.

Ozpin sighed in relief before turning to Professor Goodwitch. "Glynda, if you would, start on repairs. I will be alerting everyone of the situation's end and completing the paperwork from earlier as well as some extra paperwork."

Professor Goodwitch stared at him. "You're going to be doing extra paperwork? Are you sure you're feeling well?"

Ozpin nodded. "I am going to be adjusting our budget for large purchases of alcohol to pay Epizon for his new obligatory secondary position at Beacon as the newest member and commander of the Anti-Port units."

Professor Goodwitch stared at him in horror before looking at the window and back at him.

He frowned. "Are you ok Glyn-"

With a wave of her riding crop she sent him flying out the window before waving her riding crop again and tearing a chunk out of the wall, revealing an orange folder labeled "Escape".

She took it and carefully placed it on Ozpin's desk before entering the elevator and descending the tower, exiting the building, entering the bullhead the mice, president, and Vale branch leader of PETA were boarding, and left with them, never to be seen at Beacon again.


AN: 1 review.

Alduin: Glad you liked the chapter and I'm hoping you picked up on the right hints thrown in last chapter. I do have to agree with how little Pyrrha's Semblance actually got used to much extent, since the only times she really used it much were against Penny and Cinder, where Penny got wrecked and Cinder went all ashes to ashes dust to dust and burnt Pyrrha to a crisp. So I might have her Semblance actually show development, might not, but for now, I'll be focusing on some rather interesting domino effects that will be coming into play soon.

Annnnd chapter done on the new schedule. Threw in some chit-chat, some foreshadowing which absolutely no one will miss, some reveals, some more reveals, some Epizon stuff with some teases and foreshadowing thrown in, and some nice Roman and Neo chat. And then of course, my... interesting accomplishment, the omake I wrote today because I was bored and thought that since I couldn't add more to the chapter so as to not rush anything too much, I threw in what people seem to want and fear in equal measures. Nurse Port plagued the school once more, causing chaos everywhere he went! Then he got stopped by what he is hilariously afraid of in both this fanfic and the actual RWBY show, which is mice, who were controlled by Remnant PETA! I mean, they did say animals can have Aua, and this is an omake, so… I had to… Then of course, Epizon comes for the booze. I mean, to help the school. That's what I meant. Anyways, skipping past the insanity that was my strange omake, things should start picking up in the next couple chapters, so I hope they're as interesting in completion as they were in my head. As always, favorite/follow and all that, review to tell me how to get better and what you liked, along with any interesting theories you've got cooked up about some of the more purposefully obscure things in the fanfic, and I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and the omake. See ya guys next chapter in a week or two, and remember, this is your captain ThatSkeletonGuy speaking .Please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times or something bad might happen and you will be the butt of inside jokes to your friends and family forever. Also you might get injured depending on the vehicle.