16.

Shizuru's Sorrow

"Sister?" Saiyuri put her hand on Shizuru's belly, feeling the kicking of Naomi from within.

"Ara, correct, Saiyuri. That's your sister, Naomi. She's still growing. She has a little while to go before she's born."

"And that means that you have an important job," Natsuki ruffled Saiyuri's hair, "You get to show her how to be a good girl, so that she learns from you and learns how to be responsible."

"And it's all riding on you, Saiyuri," Nao grinned, "Because between your sleepy tea-drinking Okasan and your moody writer Mama, you're the only chance she's got at learning that stuff."

"Your Auntie Nao is asking for a pay cut," Natsuki smirked, looking up from her laptop.

"So, Natsuki, is this the chapter where we finally learn which character is actually Mikoto Tsukiyama?" Shizuru asked.

"That," Natsuki looked self-satisfied, "Would be telling. You'll have to read it to find out."

"Ikezu."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Natsuki rose from her seat, "Listen, I've got to meet my agent. I'm supposed to interview some seiyuu for the roles of Sayoko Tsukiyama and Anri Unryuu. Personally, I'm hoping to get Naomi Shindo as Anri. I really liked her as Cagalli in Gundam SEED. And perhaps Saeko Chiba as Sayoko. I was impressed with her role as Priscilla in GUN X SWORD. But if she's busy, we could try Yuka Nanri. Anyway, I have to turn my phone off for the meeting, but I'll be home in time for dinner. Love you all."

She leaned over and kissed Shizuru deeply, then gave Saiyuri a kiss on her forehead.

"What, no kiss for me?" Nao smirked.

"Well, that depends," Natsuki grinned.

"On?"

"Whether or not you want this to be your last day on Earth," Natsuki nodded towards her wife, who was looking at Nao with narrow eyes.

"If Natsuki wishes to kiss her step-sister on the cheek, it's no concern of mine," Shizuru said evenly.

"For Nao's sake, I'll pass," Natsuki bowed chivalrously, then left.

888888

The trouble began right before Nao was about to serve lunch. Shizuru was working on needlepoint, when she felt a sudden, sharp pain in her stomach.

"Ohhh," She moaned, "Nao! Nao, help me up, please! I have a very bad feeling. I…Ungh."

"Don't move, Fujino," Nao commanded, producing her phone, "I'm calling an ambulance."

"Natsuki! Call Natsuki, too! Oh, Nao, I have such a terrible fear…"

"She's got her phone turned off. What's her agent's number. They may be able to reach her."

"It's on the fridge."

Nao called the ambulance, and it was no time at all before they arrived to collect Shizuru.

"I'll watch Saiyuri," Nao said to her, "And I'll keep trying to get ahold of Kuga. Miyu and Alyssa are joining me, as well."

At this point, Shizuru was in excruciating pain, and was crying silently as they wheeled her out on a gurney.

Miyu and Alyssa arrived just as the ambulance was pulling out.

"Saiyuri, I need you to play with Auntie Alyssa and Auntie Miyu for a bit. I have to keep trying to get ahold of your Mama," Nao patted her on the head.

She finally got an answer, "Dayaka Publishing, can we help you?"

"Yes, I'm trying to get ahold of Natsuki Kuga, the author who publishes as Kreuger. Her partner, Shizuru Fujino, has been taken to the hospital for a medical emergency. She needs to get there as quickly as possible."

A moment later, Nao heard Natsuki's voice, "Nao? What's going on?"

"Shizuru has gone to the hospital. You need to get there. She started having a sharp pain, and I don't know what's going on, but it's serious!"

"Okay. I'm downtown, already. I can get there in a couple of minutes. Saiyuri?"

"She's with us at the house. Go. Shizuru needs you."

888888

Natsuki arrived at the hospital quickly, but was told that Shizuru was in the operating room already. It was a few hours before they allowed her to visit Shizuru in her room.

Natsuki knew, before Shizuru said a word. Her eyes were staring blankly out the window, and her face was flat, and anyone else would have considered it unreadable. But to Natsuki, the grief and heartbreak might as well have been written in a neon sign.

"I lost the baby," Shizuru's voice was flat, "Naomi's gone."

Natsuki wrapped her arms around her, "Shizuru…"

"They said it was a placental detachment. Rare. But basically, Naomi's lifeline to me was cut off. She got no oxygen, and…"

"I'm sorry, Shizuru. I'm so sorry," Natsuki's own eyes were shedding tears.

Shizuru's eyes met Natsuki's, "Why? Why are you apologizing, Natsuki? This was my fault. I'm the one who lost our child."

"Shizuru, you didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes...these things happen," Natsuki touched her forehead to Shizuru's, "It's not your fault."

Shizuru closed her eyes, "Natsuki, please. Just…"

"I'm not leaving you alone, Shizuru. I know. I know it hurts, but…"

"How could you know!?" Shizuru's eyes flashed, "You got to have your baby! What would you know about it?"

Natsuki looked like she'd been slapped, and Shizuru immediately regretted what she'd said, "Natsuki…I'm…"

Natsuki closed her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks, "She was my daughter, too, Shizuru. Just like Saiyuri is yours. Just like Saiyuri was looking forward to her little sister.

"I know you're hurting, Shizuru, so I forgive what you just said. But the rest of us are hurting, too," Natsuki embraced her tightly, "You're not alone, Shizuru. We're family. So if we're going to laugh, we laugh together. And if we're going to cry, we'll shed the same tears. So don't take this out on yourself. And don't take it out on us. Please."

Shizuru buried her face in Natsuki's chest and started sobbing. By the time she finished, Natsuki's shirt was soaked, and Shizuru had wept herself to sleep. Natsuki sat beside her, draped herself with a spare blanket, and drifted off to sleep.

She woke when she felt a soft touch on her lips.

"Ara, and is my sleeping princess awake?" Shizuru asked.

"Shizuru?" Natsuki opened her eyes. Shizuru's face was still pained, but she managed a small, sad smile as Natsuki met her eyes, "Are you…feeling any better?"

Shizuru's eyes closed, "Honestly, no. I feel awful. Physically. Emotionally. The pain I felt when I thought you'd rejected me was nothing compared to this. And I hurt you being unfair last night."

"You were angry. You lashed out. But I'm still here, Shizuru. And Saiyuri is at home, waiting for us."

"I wanted to see her into this world, Natsuki. I wanted to experience, so badly, the things that you did. Forgive me, but I was jealous of you, and some part of me is jealous still."

Natsuki held Shizuru's head to her, "It's okay. It hurt, hearing you say those things, Shizuru. I won't lie. But, I love you. And I know that you hurt, too.

"But, I thought about it, and…with your permission, I'd like to have a service for Naomi."

Shizuru looked uncertain, "A service?"

"She was our daughter, Shizuru. Even if she didn't get to experience life, she was ours, and we loved her. And Saiyuri loved her. And Nao loved her. So let's celebrate that love, just as we acknowledge that loss."

Shizuru's lips parted, her words uncertain, and she smiled, "I…Yes. I think that would be a good idea, Natsuki."

"They said you'd be free to leave this afternoon," Natsuki said, "I…I'm going to go home and get you a change of clothes. And then we can go home, together."

It was a little after 1pm when Shizuru was officially released, "I think, Natsuki, that I've finally figured out why it is that you don't like hospitals. They are certainly places of great sadness."

"They can be," Natsuki said. She handed Shizuru a bag. Shizuru opened it, and looked uncertainly at what she saw.

"These are…"

"Your riding clothes. You haven't worn them in awhile. I came here on my bike, after all."

Shizuru frowned, but said nothing, and dressed in the rider clothes.

She mounted Natsuki's motorcycle, wrapping her arms around her wife's midsection. She drove out of the garage carefully. But she didn't turn in the direction of their home. She took them through the entire city, and racing along the sea shore. To Shizuru's surprise, they didn't stop at the sea cliff that had once been Natsuki's haunt.

Instead, they pulled up to Fuuka Acadmey. And Natsuki led Shizuru to the Chapel. She knelt in the place she considered their spot. It was where they had once died together. After a moment, Shizuru knelt with her.

"Here, and not the sea cliff?"

"This is where I died. And this is where I was reborn. That sea cliff was about a past that turned out not to be true. So, this place means more to me, now."

Shizuru smiled, in spite of herself, and wiped at her eyes.

"Let's go home, Natsuki."