Kakashi dodges back from a swing of Zabuza's (relatively) tiny sword because of course Kakashi got stuck checking in on prodigies to see which ones the travellers can use later if necessary.
It makes sense since Kakashi can get in close without alerting anyone, but he's just a little bit tired of dealing with children, even if they're the only ones who don't bully him about his height. He just thinks he'd be of better use elsewhere.
Kakashi ducks the next slash and disappears into the mist of Kiri using a gust of air to help him. "Have you tried using it one-handed?"
Zabuza snarls because, yes, it might sound like mocking considering the sword is the same size as Kakashi and Zabuza put together but it's a genuine question. Adult Zabuza swung around something three times as big with no problem, surely that kind of thing needs to start young.
Kakashi backflips over a charging Zabuza, bounces off the sword, and kicks the boy in the face, throwing him back. "Your main problem is that you don't have the muscle mass for it." Kakashi lands lightly. "Do you do enough weight training? Does the academy teach you that or is it battle royal, all the time?"
Zabuza stumbles up to his feet and hefts the sword over his shoulder again, ready for another charge.
"I'm serious about this, Zabuza," Kakashi insists solemnly, raising his hands, palms out and no tricks. "Do you want to be better than your classmates, or do you want to be the best - full stop?"
Zabuza spits out blood onto the ground and sneers, the cute little six year old. "What do you want?"
Kakashi tries for innocent. "I want to kill a rabbit and you're going to need to be S-rank for it."
Leaving Kiri, he detours to one of the traveller warehouses where he picks up supplies. As Kiri is a madhouse even on best of days, he seals the stuff into a scroll so as not to impede his movements while he dodges the more violent clans sprinkled across the country.
Sometimes he wonders why Yobun'na and co. haven't already taken over this wet and generally unpleasant place and wishes they would hurry up already.
They could also build a significant force out of all the dead kids that are wasted each graduation massacre and Kakashi wouldn't be tasked with running around the Elemental Nations right now.
Two weeks later Kakashi arrives in Kumo with his hair tinted platinum blond to blend in with the masses, decked out in standard Kumo greys and blacks, looking as if he rolled around in the dust like every other kid he's seen so far.
He's standing at the edge of a mountainous training area -half converted into a playground- watching a fair-skinned blond girl. The same age as Kakashi, jinchuuriki of the two-tailed cat, and currently in a hoard of other kids who sit around on the railing of a huge drop off.
Yugito is quiet and sunken into herself as the other children loudly gossip about an older brother who made it to chuunin recently.
A boy walks past towards the group, giving Kakashi a sideways glance. After a pause he stops and turns to Kakashi fully. "Are you not from Kumo? Why are you so pale?"
"That hurt my feelings," Kakashi deadpans.
The boy blinks and then laughs. "Wanna hang out?" He gestures towards the group of kids at the railing.
On the way from Kumo to Iwa he picks up a bounty in Shimo, a group of low level missing-nin that should be easy money. The bounties are low individually, but collectively they make quite a sum.
The land of Shimo no Kuni is a beautiful place and with a weak fighting force it's a good place to lay low in. Clearly other people think the same because Kakashi picks up two other bounties on his way in.
He hasn't tracked people through snow in a long while but it comes back to him as he slinks over a freshly fallen layer of soft white, using just enough chakra to not leave any marks, his blinding white clothes more than enough to turn him invisible in the washed out landscape.
The tracks lead to a secluded cave, snow carefully piled up at the entrance for extra insulation. A careful earthquake has them running out in panic, making them easy pickings for his kunai.
He pilfers their weapons and equipment before sealing away the bodies to collect the reward at a bounty station on his way out.
"Any good recruits?" the main Iwa plant asks over tea.
Kakashi kicks his little legs hanging off the end of the cosy leather armchair in excitement, eyes locked onto the newest Icha Icha novel sitting just off to the side of the Iwa's arm. "I've been going after six year olds, what exactly are you expecting?"
"You're five, aren't you?" Iwa drawls, knowing full well what an outlier Kakashi is.
"I'm thirty-three," Kakashi corrects.
"Just get to the point," the Iwa demands.
"None capable," Kakashi reports. "They're clearly a cut above the rest but not good enough for what we need - not if we're going to be acting within the next few years. Grooming them personally is a waste of time but the occasional drop in could mean an army of elites that we can use in the future. I think that's worth it even if there's never an opportunity to use them."
The Iwa seems to sink into his own head for a moment, slotting all of this into the grand plan he's been designing with the other tacticians. "Would they be open to adult interference?"
"Zabuza would slit your throat," Kakashi admits. "The other future seven swordsmen are either already being trained or won't accept help from non-clan members. I saw two other good cases but they're not worth wasting resources on right now."
"And Kumo?"
"Wary of outsiders, and they guard their prodigies better than any village I've seen." Kakashi shakes his head. "Honestly, maybe it's biased, but grabbing a few Konoha would probably be the easiest."
"I could 'accident' a few notable Iwa kids into the slave trade and have you pick them up as their saviour," the Iwa-nin muses.
"I'm no babysitter," Kakashi retorts sharply. "Let me tell you about the time I had to teach genin."
Iwa laughs. "No, no, I have a good impression of you, don't ruin it." Iwa pauses. "And speaking of your reputation…"
Kakashi eyes slide to the new Icha Icha book that the Iwa taps on. "I want to let you know that I don't kill kids if I can help it, and pregnant women are a no-"
"Nothing like that," Iwa reassures easily with a smarmy look in his eyes. "Just a little scare. No need to kill anyone. Maybe pull out that pretty chirping jutsu you got?"
"Who is it?"
"Well...it's not technically a traveller mission-"
"And I'm gone," Kakashi says, slipping off the chair.
"This is unpublished," Iwa reminds Kakashi. "I had to call in a lot of favours with Orochimaru for him to send over Jiraya's latest work."
Kakashi narrows his eye at the man from across the table. "Who's the target?"
"The stupidest politician you'll ever meet," Iwa complains. "A civilian little shit, who votes against me in everything because that one time I sent his daughter on a mission and she got killed - but that's on her for being so weak!"
The Iwa wiggles the porn around. "And technically, he's also kicking up a fuss about the Gedo Mazo statue matter, wanting to hunt down the people who flattened several acres of land."
Kakashi rolls his eye. "Just give me the book and the details."
