Miroku doesn't mind the rain that's pouring down relentlessly on the roof of the abandoned hut that they are staying in. He does, however, mind the thunder. Not that it's causing him any particular anguish at all. He doesn't necessarily need a whole night's rest. It won't be his first sleepless night and most assuredly won't be his last. His companions are a different story. Shippo clings to Kagome every time the thunder booms louder than a war drum. Sango and Kagome still sleep soundly. Inuyasha stirs with every thunderclap but he only ever half sleeps anyway so it doesn't really affect him. Kiyomi, however, has not been sleeping and he's under the impression that she is thankful the thunder is keeping her awake.
It's been a little more than two weeks since Kiyomi has been reunited and separated from her parent's corpses. Well, he supposes he can't call them just corpses. Their spirits were trapped inside even though they were clearly under the influence of the Shikon jewel shards that Naraku had "gifted" to them. It's a shame that the last interaction the girl had with her parents wasn't really with them at all, just puppets of Naraku. The girl, well, she hasn't been the same since then.
Of course, that's to be expected. It wouldn't take a mage to see that Kiyomi had longed for nothing more than her mother's return, even after she'd begun to settle in with the group. Losing her mother like that again… would hurt anyone. And Kiyomi is much more sensitive than most children her age; stubborn, yes, but also sensitive nonetheless. As a result, the girl has barely been sleeping. He's sure Inuyasha's noticed and he's surprised he hasn't taken more drastic action up to this point.
At first, he had tried to lull the girl to sleep by holding her at night; a trick he's been using since he's met her to soothe the girl to sleep. Only trouble is that now she's figured out what his game is and won't let him near her at bedtime. Inuyasha is still mad at Shippo for spilling the proverbial rice on that one. Whatever is haunting the girl and keeping her from sleeping hasn't been shared with anyone.
She's brooding in a corner of the room, glaring at absolutely nothing.
"Is the thunder keeping you up, Kiyomi-chan?" he asks quietly. He knows her ears will pick up the sound even though he's across the room. They do quirk a little towards him.
Her eyes shift over to him and she huffs. "No."
He smiles. "I didn't think so. Why don't you join us over here? Surely, sitting with your… pack, I believe Inuyasha calls us, will help you fall asleep faster."
She looks at him like he's offended her. "I'm not tired."
"And I am not a part of this pack. What kind of pack-mate has dreams about killing their alpha?"
"You were up last night as well while I was on watch, weren't you?" he asks, trying not to sound like he's prying.
Her glum look goes back to the floor. "I went to sleep after."
She hadn't. But she's under the impression that he wants to hear that she has. He's right, she hasn't been sleeping. She can't. Every time she closes her eyes she sees something horrible. How could any of them possibly expect her to fall asleep after all of the things that have been happening inside of her head? And then Inuyasha goes and plays that dirty trick where he snuggles her until she falls asleep? How the hell does that even work, in the first place? Well, it's never gonna happen again! Over her dead body…
"Or his…"
That dark thought hurts, eliciting a tiny whine. It reminds her exactly why she isn't going to sleep. It feels like almost every night that she does fall asleep her dreams wake her up too soon. At first, she'd thought that maybe the pendant would help in time… but it doesn't help at all. She sees the pendant in her dreams now, mocking her. What's the point in trying to sleep when it scares her so much? It's not even worth trying really. She wishes that she could slumber soundly again, of course, she does. But she can't.
She's been cursed and the only way to save herself is to stay awake.
Something light and soft covers her lap. She looks up to see Miroku crouched in front of her with that stupid serene look he always has. How could one man look so peaceful all the time? She never understood it and she doubts she ever will. It's none of her business anyway. He's laid one of Miss Kagome's blankets over her. She alternates between sulking at the blanket and the monk.
"Do you mind?" he asks, as he sits beside her. "I'm afraid the thunder is keeping me awake."
"You should go to sleep," she says under her breath into her knees. "It's just some stupid thunder."
Miroku smiles and leans against the wall. "I suppose I've never divulged this before so I hope you can keep a secret…"
She looks at him incredulously. "Don't tell me you're afraid of the thunder?"
He tosses her a faux embarrassed gin. He stopped being afraid of thunder since he was a small boy; back when his father was still alive. She doesn't have to know that though. Not to suggest that this is his problem to remedy, far from it. That being said, he may be in a position to help. At least a better position than Inuyasha at the moment; he's snoozing away.
"I'm afraid so," he finally tells her.
"Feh," she sniffs, reminding him instantly of the other crotchety hanyou he holds so dear. She really is becoming her adopted father whether she realizes it or not. "You're lying. Grownups aren't scared of thunder."
"You'd be surprised by what we are afraid of."
"Hmph," she scoffs pessimistically. "You don't know what fear is."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because."
She looks up at him and in the lightning, he can see what maybe Inuyasha hasn't yet. It's not just heartache that keeps her awake. No, it's something deeper than that. He's not entirely sure what it is though. She scoots a few inches away from him like his presence is a threat or maybe… Perhaps she fears that she is the threat. It wouldn't necessarily be a stretch of the imagination to assume that she's still shaken from the brief time that her youkai had completely possessed her.
After a few moments of silence, staring at his hand from the corner of her eye, she asks him, "Why's your hand do that thing anyway?"
Ah, so she's figured out that his fear isn't external; he always forgets that this child is smarter than she lets on.
He isn't afraid to die. No, he's at peace with the concept that his life is not permanent and could end at any moment. What he truly fears is being unable to escape his fate long enough to hide and trapping someone else into his wind tunnel with him. What he fears is cutting someone else's life short along with his own. Well, he's afraid to shorten Sango's life at least.
"My hand," he finally responds, "is a curse that's been passed down from my father, and his father before him."
She looks mildly interested in that statement. "Who cursed you?"
Hmm, he's never actually explained his wind tunnel to the girl. Well, it wouldn't hurt to share the story with her. It's not like it'll change his circumstances if he does.
"Naraku," he answers simply.
Her ears flicker. She knows that name… Hadn't Inuyasha told her that Naraku was who brought her mama back? He's the one that brought Mama back and made her and Papa kill each other. She doesn't really understand how someone can control another person without being in front of them. The snippets of conversation she's managed to catch don't exactly paint the whole picture. And Inuyasha refuses to really discuss it with her.
"H-how did he curse you?"
"Well, I'm not too sure, if I'm honest," he confesses. "It all started with my grandfather so I'm afraid I don't have all the details. Because of this curse, I lost my father at a very young age so I didn't really have anyone to ask."
She frowns. "But you're sure it's him?"
"Is it possible that I'm cursed by Naraku too? Like the Lord Monk?"
Miroku nods his head. "If Naraku is defeated then the curse will be lifted and I'll be a free man. I'm hopeful that it will be someday soon. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to try and get a little sleep myself."
She's gone back to glowering at the wall. Whatever that look is, he's not likely going to be able to persuade her to rest tonight. He stands, dusting off his robes before he begins to cross the room back to the others.
"Miroku?" she asks timidly behind him, her hands wrapped around the seal that Totosai had brought the week before. She doesn't look up at him, only at the medallion around her neck. "Do…Do you think this thing actually works? Will... it really be able to stop me if I…"
Miroku's brow lifts a fraction. "If Totosai's work needs to pass your test look no further than Inuyasha. Tetsusaiga keeps his demonic energy locked away. Just as I'm sure the pendant will do for you."
She looks relieved, even if it's only for a moment. "Feh, I already knew that. Sh-Shippo asked me, he's the one that wanted to know."
Miroku chuckles. The child isn't the best liar he's ever met but that's not entirely a bad thing. "Well, I hope Shippo feels a little better knowing that. Goodnight, little one."
She's back to sulking in the corner again. "Goodnight, Lord Monk… and… don't be scared of the thunder, 'kay? It can't get you in here."
"But I could…"
~.~.~
It seems that no matter what Inuyasha does, he can't get Kiyomi to snap out of the funk she's in. He's taken her hunting or fishing almost every morning since that whole mess with her parents. She's always awake anyway, she might as well do something with that time. No sense in wasting it. The trouble is, with every fish and every hunt it grows more and more obvious that the kid's not sleeping. When he first met her the kid was a pretty astute hunter. After all, she had to be; it's how she survived until he came around. But if he were to judge her skills based on her performance lately it would be akin to him asking Kagome to catch a rabbit and with her bare hands.
"You're too high," he corrects, grabbing the back of her haori before she can tumble into the water. "C'mon, you know better than that."
"I would've been fine if you'd let me do it," she grouches. "Now look what you've done! I've lost it!"
"You'd be wet if I let you try to catch from that height. S'matter with you? You know better than that."
He agilely skewers a small fish with his left claws while still holding the kid up by the back of her shirt with his right hand. Pup's gotten so bad that he's sent Kagome back home for a little while. He can't keep traveling around if the kid is going to be this level of helpless. He can count on Shippo to stay on top of his game and keep himself out of trouble. He can't with the pup. She's back to being a skittish, flighty runt again.
If this keeps up, he has to consider leaving her behind with Kaede for a while. He doesn't want to, in fact, he loathes the thought. But it may still have to be done. He's got shit to do and he doesn't have time to wait for her to catch up to reality. Unfortunately, he also knows for a fact that if he leaves the girl behind she's not going to stand for it. She'll either raise hell with Kaede and try to follow them, or she'll see it as some kind of abandonment and take off. If he had any grudge against Kaede, he'd consider asking her to seal the kid up in a hut, like the others did to him the last time he was seriously wounded.
"Ah, hell. Fuck Kagome and her gravy business."
He puts both his catch and the girl back on the ground. She's got bags under her eyes and she's been bitchy for days on end now. He's got to do something about this before he ends up in a tight situation. He can hear Kagome scolding him now about leaving her behind. Every option spells pain in the ass but it's either that or risk her life on the road.
"Alright, pup, we've gotta talk," he tells her gruffly.
She looks down at the ground. She thinks this is about her fishing skills. She knows that she's doing it all wrong, she's just so tired that she can't even think straight. Her ears droop and she rubs her eyes sleepily. If she keeps this up, he'll stop trying to teach her.
"I'm sorry…" she whispers. "Please don't be mad at me. I'll do better at fishing, I promise. I know I'm supposed to keep my hand low..."
He shakes his head roughly and grips her shoulder tightly. "No, this ain't about fishin'. This is about you. The hell's goin' on with you? This about your ma?"
He's surprised when she shakes her head. "No… I'm just tired. I'm sorry."
"No shit you're tired. You haven't been sleeping. Out with it! What's goin' on?"
"Oh, he's noticed…"
For a moment, just a moment, Kiyomi wants to tell him what she sees when she goes to sleep. She wants to tell him about the nightmares and the fear. Before she can a now-familiar image fills her mind: Inuyasha lying dead on the ground, his torso mangled by her claws. How is she supposed to explain that to him? How is she supposed to tell him that she kills them in her sleep and that his stupid seal is absolutely useless?
"I can't say anything! If he knows what I've been seeing he'll think I want to do it!"
She's about to speak when he interrupts her. "I swear to god, kid, if you try to tell me that nothin's up I'll knock some sense into you!"
"All right! All right!" she barks before looking down at her hands. "I'm just— I've just— I don't want—"
"You've got ten seconds before I beat the truth outta you!"
Her eyes shut tight, her brain frantically trying to think of something to say that won't make her sound like she's going to go psycho and kill them all. She can't tell him about the nightmares. He'll think she's dangerous and kick her out! But she has to tell him something now or he's gonna get real mad at her… She can at least tell him that she's having bad dreams… maybe he won't ask what they're about? He raises his fist tellingly.
"I've been having lots of bad dreams, okay!" she snaps hurriedly, ducking her head ready for him to bop her like he does Shippo.
The hand lowers and he shuffles so he's sitting directly in front of her. For a moment… he almost looks like he's worried about her. She doesn't understand why. His hand lands on her head so that he can scratch her ears.
"I know that already," he tells her. "So, whatcha dreaming about that's so awful?"
"I don't know, try me murdering everyone that I care about!" she snaps in her head. Instead, she just murmurs, "I dunno… Lotsa stuff I guess."
"I'm gonna take a stab at it and say it's about your mom and dad?"
She nods her head lightly. It's not completely a lie… her mother's bones are in the nightmare. Just before she wakes up. She… just can't tell him about the other stuff. He'll never let her around the others again. After a moment he lets out a puff of air and pulls her into his side.
"They're just dreams," he assures her. "They can't hurt you, stupid. They aren't real."
She frowns, he doesn't understand. When she has that dream it feels real. She feels like she's gone and killed the people who took her in; like she's killed her best friends. "I know…"
"Then how about the next time it happens you keep your head on and go back to sleep after? I mean it, kid, you can't keep putting it off like this. You're off your game and I'm not going to be able to take you with us if I can't trust that you're gonna stay sharp."
"So… he wants to leave me behind… Maybe he's right… I won't be able to hurt them if I'm not around."
"I didn't mean to…"
"Yeah, I know." Look, you… don't have to hide stuff from me, got it? Like, you can tell me when something's bugging you." He takes a breath, praying no one else is around to hear this. "I know I'm not your ma or nothin' but you're— You're my family. 'N I look out for my family. So, if something's bugging you, don't be stupid about it."
"I know," she says softly. "It's fine…"
"I mean it," he tells her, staring at the lake. "I'm not gonna judge ya or anything. Remember what my aunt said? Chikako? She said she'd found a family, right?"
Kiyomi nods her head lightly. That feels like it was so long ago… She'd been really happy then. It's so unfair! Inuyasha looks over her head and checks the perimeter to make sure no one is going to overhear him. They'd never let him live this down. Hell, he doesn't blame them… Saying something like this isn't something he'd normally do.
But it might help the kid if she knows that he's in her corner.
"Well, if you want"—he lowers his voice just in case anyone is around and he grits his teeth with the sheer mushiness of it all—"you can think of me as your family. J-just so you know."
"But… I'm a bad friend… I can't be anyone's family if I'm not even a good friend…"
He's been thinking about it. He remembers being a kid and seeing those fancy-ass ceremonies some kids got to have when they'd found a new family. Granted, he's pretty sure those families had a lot of money. He can't remember seeing a common villager having one. Nah, those kids tended to just get scooped up and either loved or worked to death depending on who found them. But he remembers being so goddamn envious seeing it. He wonders if maybe it's an option for someone like him. He harbors no illusions about his status in the world, he's a hanyou and so is she. It's not like the gods would favor them in any way shape or form. At least, that's what years of experience have taught him. Are hanyous even allowed to partake in ceremonies? But, if they can of course, maybe the kid might like it if they had one. Hell, he might even think she'd be convinced if they had a fake one. He should probably ask someone…
He'll ask Kaede, the monk will blab to everyone in the village if he goes to him for advice.
Well, she's not going to be any help fishing this morning either. With a final pat on her shoulder, he turns back to the water and busies himself with catching fish. He's surprised to notice that she's not leaving like she usually does when they are home. Normally, she likes to explore the village or chase after Shippo. He isn't going to argue with her about sticking around. After the whole mess with her mother, he feels better knowing she's nearby. He quickly catches a decent pile of fish and drains them in the river. This will be a nice lunch for sure. He's excited to present this to Kagome, it'll go well with the rice that Kaede is prepping back at her place.
"Yo, pup," he calls out, tossing his bounty into a burlap sack, "let's go. I wanna—"
He turns around to find the girl fast asleep, curled into a little ball. He rolls his eyes as he crouches down and takes a moment to sniff her interestedly. He doesn't want to wake her. God knows she needs to catch a couple of z's. At least she doesn't smell scared. She's not having another one of those nightmares. Good. Putting the sack down, he picks her up to bring her home. He moves slowly and quietly so that he doesn't wake her. It's not until he's home and putting her down onto a bedroll he realizes he left the fish by the water. Feh, stupid pups are nothing but extra work.
~.~.~
"Old woman, I need to talk to ya."
Kaede looks up from her gardening placidly. She's stopped minding when Inuyasha calls her such things. Not that it's ever truly bothered her in the first place but she's come to understand that it's his way of showing kinship. She does force herself to let out a puff of air for the boy. He'd be upset if he suspected she's unraveled the ruse he's been so careful to weave. Tellingly, he smirks at the sight of her feigned resignation. Caring for a little one has certainly changed him but clearly not to the point of maturity.
"What do ye need?" she finally asks as he looks around to verify that she is alone.
"Uh," he flounders, "do you gotta minute?"
She rolls her good eye. Whatever he wants must be important indeed for him to be this flustered. "If I didn't, ye would know. What is it? Ye sound distressed."
"I'm not distressed!" he snaps defensively. "I don't get distressed!"
"Inuyasha?"
"What?"
"Your voice is cracking."
He glares at her. "You know what, never mind! It was stupid anyway!"
She chuckles, sometimes he is too easy to tease. "I'm only jesting. What is it ye need?"
He huffs, perching himself next to the garden post. The lady isn't nearly as funny as she thinks she is but he'll let her get away with it. But only because he needs her. He can at least trust that she will keep her trap shut.
"Do you know how to perform any… uh… ceremonies?"
She lifts her brow. "Ye will need to be a little more specific."
He scratches his head uncomfortably. "Like… how do you adopt someone? Like, the whole shindig with the bells."
He hears a distinct gasp that's not coming from Kaede. With a groan, he looks up to see Kagome leaning out of Kaede's window. How did he not notice her scent so close by? Her eyes are so wide and he swears he can see them sparkling. Ah hell, she'd heard that. Before he can cover his tracks and make it seem like he's asking for someone other than himself, not that he knows what to say to divert from that question, she's running out the front door. He glares at Kaede with a scorching, resentful look.
"You coulda warned me," he complains, watching warily as Kagome bounds around the front of the hut to join them.
Kaede smiles. "I don't know what ye are talking about. If ye had wanted to be alone then ye should have asked if I'd had company already."
Bullshit, she'd known that he hadn't wanted anyone else to hear. This was a terrible idea, he shouldn't have said anything.
"Argh! Never mind!" he grumbles, standing to seek shelter from Kagome's shiny, happy eyes.
A large tree limb will do nicely. He'll have to come up with some sort of excuse for asking while he hides. Before he can vanish, Kagome "sit"s him hurriedly. He plummets to the ground and finds himself with a face full of soft soil. What in the name of the gods has he done to deserve this?!
"What was that for?!" he demands, trying to sound as intimidating as possible.
It's hard to be menacing with a mouthful of mud. He's just thankful that this ground hasn't been fertilized recently. Kagome is beaming down at him.
"Uh-uh!" she insists, shaking her head. "You were asking about Kiyomi, weren't you? I know you were so don't you dare tell me otherwise!"
"You-you've got the wrong idea! I was just asking a stupid question!"
"Inuyasha," Kaede interjects.
"What?"
"Your voice is cracking again," she states, not even bothering to hide her smirk.
He doesn't have to sit around for this, damnit! If they're just going to mock him like a couple of hens then he'll skip the whole thing! Hell, who says he has to ask here? He could ask any monk or priestess about it. Well, usually when he approaches people they are scared of him, which poses a bit of a problem.
Kaede laughs wholeheartedly. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha, we are just excited for ye. Now, tell me how I can help?"
He can feel his cheeks burning and his ears are twitching as a natural reaction to his embarrassment. "I was just askin' for the stupid kid! I, uh, figured she'd like it…"
Kagome clasps her hands together excitedly. "This is so great!"
Kaede and Inuyasha make a point to ignore her outburst. Kaede fixes him with a serious stare. "The ceremony is simple. Although, I should point out that it is a very serious occasion. It's not something that should be undertaken lightly. To the gods, it's not just a symbolic event, it is a promise to care for another as your own."
"W'll yeah, I figured," he grumbles, crossing his arms and huffing. "Look, I didn't say that I'm planning on doing anything! I was just asking."
"You're such a bad liar," Kagome sighs. "You act like we've forgotten what Hisashi and Chikako told us."
"I haven't forgotten, okay? I get it," he rumbles. "I'm not doin' this cause of some stupid bond. I just thought the pup might feel better if she's got someone she can call"—he growls because he hadn't intended on saying this word aloud—"family."
After all, she's just lost hers for a second time. It's not like having some stupid ceremony or not is gonna change how he treats the kid. She's still his, he's not going to dispute that, and even if they don't have a ceremony it doesn't change a damn thing. But it can at least let the pup know she's not alone. Hell, he'd even be okay with her calling him her pops. Just not around the others, he'll have to make that perfectly clear. Miroku would never let him hear the end of it.
"Look," he continues, "I just wanna know if hanyous like me and her can even do something like that."
Kaede and Kagome share a knowing look. Of course, that's why he's here. He is always so cautious about who he is in comparison to the rest of the world. He's been treated differently his whole life so of course, he expects to be told he can't do the same things that ordinary people can. Kagome doesn't really blame him for wanting to make sure it's acceptable.
Kaede nods her head and smiles. "Of course ye can. I think it's a fine idea."
"Yeah! Me too," Kagome adds, her voice fraught with sympathy. "I think it will make Kiyomi happy. She really does need something to smile about…"
"I've noticed she hasn't been herself since ye have returned," Kaede says to Kagome. "Did something happen?"
Inuyasha snorts. He had assumed that the boy or Kagome would have already said something to the old bag. He's honestly surprised no one has yet. He doesn't feel like rehearing the story so, with a huff to let them know he's leaving, he heads back to the hut. Kiyomi is probably still sleeping so he ought to make sure that no one bothers her. She needs the rest.
He wonders if having an official adoption will actually help her. She did call him tou-san not too long ago and it's not like he doesn't think of her as his pup. Maybe being able to say she has a family again will get her out of this funk of hers. It wouldn't be the worst idea he's ever had by a long shot. And if it helps her then he doesn't see why he shouldn't try. Eh, he'll have to think about this for a while by himself.
Honestly, he's worried that if he brings it up again Kagome might burst so it's best to think about this on his own.
~.~.~
When she wakes, Kiyomi is surprised by how good she feels. She can't remember the last time she'd slept uninterrupted like this and she's relieved that she hadn't had any bad dreams. She yawns, her tongue lolling out of her mouth and her arms stretching up over her head. Gosh, it felt really good to—
"Good morning," Kagome says softly and with a warm smile so as not to startle the recently timid girl. "Or, maybe I should say goodnight."
Kiyomi's head darts towards the sound, her heart soaring and she yips happily. That's Miss Kagome talking! She's safe with Miss—
Looking at Kagome, all Kiyomi can imagine is how awful she looks in her bad dream… Lying there covered in blood with that horrible blank look on her face…
Isn't it bad enough that she sees it when she's sleeping? Does she really have to think about it now? Her face falls and she instinctively tucks in on herself. Kagome notices the shift almost instantly but she decides to ignore it. Pushing it now won't necessarily make it easier for Kiyomi to talk about it.
"Did you sleep well?" the miko asks politely.
"Yes."
Kiyomi nods, her eyes watching Kagome carefully. When the older girl reaches out to pat the hanyou's head she's surprised to see that the girl recoils. Swiftly, Kiyomi rolls off of the sleeping mat and smoothly finds her feet. She doesn't even look scared anymore. Her eyes are blank and unfeeling. Kagome sighs, she's starting to understand why Inuyasha is considering leaving the girl behind with Kaede until she's well again. She doesn't like it, but she understands why he thinks it's necessary.
"Would you like something to eat?"
Kiyomi shakes her head. "No, thank you."
Kagome hands her a bowl of warm rice anyway. "Here, you've been sleeping all day. You must be a little hungry."
Kiyomi stares down at her food. "Oh…"
Kagome tries again. "I'm sure Inuyasha will be really glad to hear you've eaten something. He's been worried about you, we all are."
Kiyomi looks up at Kagome, biting her lower lip anxiously. Her heart feels like it is constricting inside of her with the thought. She doesn't want to make everyone worry. But she's so… She's terrified that she's going to hurt someone. And even if she doesn't dream it she still sees it all the time now. That's not something you can just hide in the back of your mind. The idea that you could kill your friends…
Looking up at Kagome with trembling lips she finally says, "I don't want that…"
"The poor thing, losing her mom again has been really hard for her," Kagome sympathizes. "There has to be something we can do to help."
Kagome reaches her hand out, smiling. "It's all right, Kiyomi. We're just worried because you're special to us."
That only makes her feel worse! Everyone is so good to her and this is how she treats them? She literally murders them in cold blood when she closes her eyes at night. And she calls these people her friends?! She's a horrible friend! She shouldn't be allowed anywhere near Kagome and the others! She flinches away from Kagome's outstretched hand like it could be used to hurt her if it gets too close.
"How about you eat just a little bit, okay?" Kagome tries again. "You don't have to finish."
Kiyomi places the bowl down at her feet before gingerly sitting crosslegged in front of it. She takes a few cautious nibbles. It does feel nice to have something to eat. Kagome watches her carefully, hoping that Inuyasha has the common sense to stay away for a little while longer. Not that she thinks he won't understand what's bothering Kiyomi, but he's also not exactly tactful when it comes to emotions.
"Would you like to talk about it?" she suggests after a few minutes of silence save for the quiet sound of Kiyomi chewing. The girl looks up politely. "It could help you feel a little better if you say what's on your mind."
"But what I'm thinking is really bad… And Miss Kagome will probably be scared of me if I tell her."
She settles on replying with, "Not really."
Kagome looks like she's disappointed by that statement but she doesn't push the issue further. She wants to believe that when Kiyomi is ready that she will speak to someone about it. It must be hard to lose your parents twice. Even just once is awful enough and she had been so happy to see her mother again. She hopes that Inuyasha decides to go through with the ceremony. She thinks it will really help Kiyomi feel like she belongs somewhere again.
"Miss Kagome?" The voice is so soft she almost misses it.
"Hmm? What is it?"
She frowns, looking at her dolefully. "Who is Naraku?"
"Oh, she doesn't understand! Of course! Oh no, how am I going to explain this?" Kagome asks herself.
"Well," she finally answers slowly, "he's a very evil man. He's trying to rebuild the Shikon Jewel by collecting the shards."
"I thought we were trying to do that?"
"We are! Only, we want the jewel to be pure and stay that way. He wants to use it for bad reasons and we're trying to stop him."
Kiyomi's voice is hardly above a whisper. "Oh… Is that why he doesn't like us?"
"Not exactly… but that's part of it."
Kagome mostly doesn't want to go into the specifics of what happened between Inuyasha and Kikyo. It's not exactly a comforting story and it is a bit complicated, especially for a little mind. It might be best to keep the answers to these questions short and simple. Hasn't Inuyasha explained any of this to her? Actually, the more Kagome thinks about it, the more she realizes that he likely hasn't discussed Naraku with her. She can see why he wouldn't want to but she also understands that Kiyomi may have some questions about the man who brought her parents back and manipulated them to kill each other.
"Is that why he cursed the Lord Monk too?"
"Miroku? You mean his wind tunnel?" Kagome asks and Kiyomi nods. "From what I understand, it's a family curse that goes back a few generations. I don't think it has anything to do with the Shikon Jewel. The jewel had actually been— No one could find it for over fifty years."
She's not sure how to explain to Kiyomi that the jewel had been inside of her and that she's a reincarnation of the priestess it had been burned with. The priestess who loved Inuyasha and he loved her in return… Fortunately, Kiyomi doesn't react to that statement and goes back to nibbling her rice.
After several minutes the girl breathily asks, "How… um… how did he make Mama and Papa go away?"
Kagome's eyes soften and she scoots closer to the little girl to affectionately rub her ears. The poor thing must have so many questions. Kagome finds herself a little upset with Inuyasha. He really should have explained this to her from the start. Kagome understands wanting to soften the blow but he should at least give her the information she needs to process it. He wouldn't have had to go into a whole narrative and every dark detail. But at least help her understand that it's nothing to do with her.
After a deep breath, Kagome begins, "The Shikon Jewel is very powerful. Just one shard can increase a demon's power tenfold and when it's whole it has the power to grant any wish. He was able to bring them back with one shard each and he used that to control them."
"He can do that?"
"Mhmm. Sango's brother, Kohaku, is under Naraku's control as well. We're hoping to find him and help him."
"So…" Kiyomi frowns, staring at her rice with a dark expression on her face. "He's able to control people with the jewel? Even from far away?"
Kagome nods. A jewel that can grant any wish? Is there a chance it can wish the demon inside of her away? Is it possible to wish these bad dreams away? Could it help Mama? No, Inuyasha already told her that bringing Mama back would only hurt her. She doesn't want to hurt Mama or Papa so, even if it makes her sad, she won't try to wake them up.
But it would be great if she could use it to wish her demon powers away… That nasty dream won't come true if she can't turn into a demon at all. That's actually a very good idea… What if she can use that jewel to fix her? It can do that, right? Kagome did say it could grant any wish! So, where is it?
"D-do we know where Naraku is?"
Kagome shakes her head reaching into her bag and pulling out the coloring book and crayons. "We don't. Here, how about you play for a little while? It's been a long time since you've colored."
It will be nice to change the subject. Kiyomi follows Kagome's advice but her mind feels like it's a million miles away. How dangerous is this Naraku person really? He can't be that strong. If he were then everyone would know who he is like Lord Sesshomaru. And she's certainly never heard of him before this. So if he's not that strong and really mean then why haven't they taken the jewel from him yet?
Oh! What if they can't because he's hidden it? Well, if he hid it then that's easy to fix. She's a really good hunter. She can go steal it. She's great at stealing things! She used to have to steal food all the time!
If she steals the jewel she's sure that Inuyasha and the others will be really proud of her… She can see it now, her returning with the jewel and presenting it to Inuyasha. In her imagination, he's bursting with pride and calling her a good pup! Everyone would be really happy if she found it and she can use it to wish that her demon can't come out ever again… Would that make her a human?
"Yo," a familiar voice calls out. "Hey, lazybones, finally decided to wake up, huh?"
Inuyasha's smiling down at her and pauses to scratch her right ear. She's struck by an interesting thought. Inuyasha is very bossy. What if he doesn't want her to steal it? Or what if he doesn't take her to Naraku? Then what's she gonna do? Inuyasha's stupid seal obviously doesn't work if she keeps dreaming about hurting everyone so she's gotta have that jewel.
She's going to go get it.
"Kiyomi!" Shippo leaps off of Inuyasha's shoulder to join Kiyomi with the crayons. "You've been sleeping all day! Do you want to play with my top?"
Inuyasha had suggested to the boy that he should try to play with Kiyomi a bit more in the hopes that it might perk her up a bit. She's done nothing but sulk for a solid three, nearly four, weeks now. And a little fun never hurt anyone. Hell, it might even make her happy. He'd really like that.
Kiyomi looks up at him and smiles lightly as she tries to block out the image of what she does to Shippo in her dream. "Hi, Shippo… D'ya want to color with me?"
"Yeah!"
Shippo looks up at Inuyasha for recognition; he wants to show him that he listened and he can help! The hanyou subtly tosses him a thumbs-up and a wink for good measure. Heh, even the stupid boy is starting to grow on him. These little buggers really are turning him into a softie. Well, at least they're good kids; he likes having them around. Honestly, now he can't imagine what life would be like without the two of them…
When the hell did that happen?
Maybe it might be nice for Shippo too… If he'd even want to that is. Inuyasha's come to terms with the fact that Shippo doesn't really like him as much as he likes Kagome. Still, if he's doing it for one then he might as well do it for the other. He'll ask Kagome about it, assuming she doesn't pop from all the excitement.
Heh, how the hell did he, of all people, end up with two pups under his wing? Wonders will never cease…
~.~.~
Sango sighs, busily pulling her clothes from the clothesline while Kirara trills happily beside her. She hadn't anticipated staying in Kaede's village for so long but she may as well use the time wisely and clean her clothes. The weather is nice today, bright and sunny, good for the task at hand. Smiling, she peers across the lake wondering when Miroku will be returning. The two of them have plans to visit a neighboring province to follow up on a jewel shard rumor when he returns with a few supplies. He should be back in a day or so.
The new moon is in a few days… three, maybe four at the most. The group decided it would be best for Inuyasha, Kagome, and the children to stay in the village a little while longer. That way he can have his human night in relative peace and it gives the little girl some more time to get some much-needed rest. Everyone really needs the break after the events with Kiyomi's mother. Even the slayer has been moodier than usual.
The whole event just reminds her of Kohaku. It's not that she can't think about him, her brother is always on her mind, but seeing the Shikon no Tama used to hurt someone else she cares about has really grated on her nerves. And it had really hurt Kiyomi. It brought her to the point where her demon emerged very prematurely, according to Inuyasha at least. She feels horrible about the whole thing and to top it off she's worried she might have scared Kiyomi by helping Inuyasha subdue her that night.
Ever since that night, the girl has refused to go within arm's length of Sango, almost like when they'd first met her. She'd say it hasn't bothered her but that would be a lie. She likes Kiyomi; she's a bright, inquisitive, and sweet little girl. She actually reminds her of Kohaku when he'd been that age. So she's never minded when Kiyomi comes in for a hug or a cuddle. It's why she always stops to scratch the girl's ears when she nudges her shins. She's really grown quite fond of Kiyomi. Sango wants her to know she's loved here. She knows that thanks to that demonic bond Kiyomi will always be closest to Inuyasha and that's perfectly fine. She's glad the hanyous have each other and the whole thing has really helped Inuyasha grow up. She still cares for Kiyomi though and she feels terrible for frightening her during an already devastating time.
"L-lady Sango?"
Speaking of… The taijiya turns in a semi-circle to find the little hanyou she'd just been ruminating about standing behind her. She has her hands clasped behind her back and, despite facing her, her pink eyes are looking at anything but her. Sango can't help but feel relieved that Kiyomi is comfortable enough at least being alone with her again even if there is quite a bit of distance between them.
"Hi, Kiyomi," the slayer says sweetly, "are you enjoying the nice weather?"
She nods, looking at the ground. "Yeah, I am. 'N Inuyasha said I could come out here and find you so 'm not gonna get in trouble s'long as I come back with you."
"Well, that's lucky," Sango tells the girl brightly. "I'm just finishing up now. Unless you have something you'd like me to help you wash."
"That's okay, thank you."
Sango picks up her laundry and balances the basket on her hip. The two of them walk at a slow pace for a few minutes where the only sounds around them are the twittering of birds and the rustle of leaves. Sango would very much like to apologize for scaring her but she's not sure how to bring the subject up. The girl is out and about for once and she doesn't want to upset her with any reminders of that night.
"Uhm, can I ask you a question?"
Sango is a little surprised but nods her head. "Of course you can."
Kiyomi likes the sound of Sango's voice and she thinks she's very pretty too. She wishes that she could look up at her but she knows that when she does the first thing she will think of is the bad dream. Oh great, now she's thinking about it. This is exactly why she needs to steal the Shikon Jewel from Naraku. Because her friends can't seem to find it.
"Miss Kagome said you had a little brother," Kiyomi finally says softly. "'N she told me that he's being controlled by the person who made Mama and Papa go away again."
Sango frowns, that's not exactly a subject that she'd like to bring up with a child. But it's fair enough for the girl to be curious about the event.
"That's right," she answers, "my little brother, Kohaku, is under Naraku's control."
Maybe she just needs to feel like someone understands what it's like? Sango isn't really sure what to think about her asking about Kohaku like this. She's staring down at the ground now, still refusing to look Sango in the eye.
"Why haven't you gone to get him? Like, if he's with you will he get better?"
Well, she doesn't know the answer to that either. "Um, I guess I'm still waiting to see if he remembers me."
"Did he forget?"
"I'd be really sad if Mama forgot me…"
Sango nods. "Yes, but that's all right. I'm sure he'll remember someday. And when he does, I'd like you to meet him."
Kiyomi frowns earnestly. "M-me?"
"Of course! He's a very nice boy and I think you'll like him a lot."
Kiyomi shrugs her shoulders. "I guess…"
After this, the two are silent again, strolling through the woods all the way back to the village. Sango does wish the girl would say something. Not that she minds the silence but the air between them is definitely tense. She does miss the cheerful little girl they had first met. Well, she's sure that she'll be back soon and Sango is very patient, you have to be when it comes to children.
They all just need to be patient while Kiyomi finds her way back to them.
