Arizona's POV
Not knowing what else to do or say I find myself in my mom's room. She's super tired though as she works at night and it's now morning. But she's my mom so she has to talk to me.
"No, I'm just saying, I don't expect her to be around anymore."
"You guys broke up?"
"We were never really together." That's the reason for all this in the first place.
"Sure you weren't sweetheart." My mom has a way of saying things. She continues this time looking dead at me, "Is that what you want, to be broken up?"
"I don't kno-" I just decide to tell the truth, officially together or not, "No." I do not, I did not want our situation to end. If she would have just given me some time. It may be the look on my face or just her instincts. I have never been one to be able to hide my feelings from my mother.
She gestures for me to join her, "Come here." Mom pulls me into a bear hug. The embrace feels like heaven right now. I deepen the hug dropping my head on mom's shoulders. I needed this. I have this long day ahead of me.
*Later that day*
So much for the long day. Today has been okay so far. There have been no questions from my friends There have been no sightings of the brunette that I upset last night. This would all be good if I didn't so badly want to see her, even though I know she won't talk to me. She left my house super early this morning. All I got was a strong, "Bye Arizona." I didn't get to get a word in. I didn't know what to say anyway. She wanted to hear that I would be her girlfriend, someday. I don't know if I can do that, be her girlfriend. That's a non-answer. I'd be better off telling her no, that I definitely didn't want to be her girlfriend. I don't know if it'll work out. I don't. I don't want to hurt her and I do know that I really like this girl. Is being into girls like a permanent thing. Like I won't just wake up and not like her? She doesn't deserve that. She's sure she is into girls. I've never even liked another girl before. This could be a one-off thing. She's really pretty, it's not hard to be into her. She's smart, kind. I'm only into her.
With everything going on, at least mentally for me, I forgot my calculator at home. I've gotten permission to use my phone just for today. I get why teachers don't allow us to use our phones though. It is a distraction. I've been switching between the calculator app and my messages this whole time. Every time I get the nerve to text Callie, I go back to doing Math work. But then I go back to wanting to text her. I keep typing a message then deleting it
If I could just focus on typing thirty-four times eighty is, that would be great. The pad of my thumb hits the three, then the four. I don't get the chance to even hit the x. Whatever, I'll just text her. What's the worst thing that can happen?
AZ: I'm so sorry Callie.
That I am. Now I can take a breath and go back to Math. Turns out x is equal to 4. Yay. I came to that answer too.
Callie's POV
Imagine being someone's experiment. Imagine knowing someone was straight and being into them anyways? I deserve this. I caused it. We all know better than to fall for the straight girl. I know sometimes that people need to experiment to find out what they like, but I've never wanted that for myself. I just knew it would hurt. It does hurt. It's gonna be fine though. I'm happy I found out what Arizona's intentions were. I'm even happier that I found out early on rather than later. I'd be devastated to have found this out later.
I wonder what she's going to do now though? Go back to Alex? Date some other guy? Hmm? I don't really know. I guess I'll wait and see what she does. As for me, I'll be pushing through this. Powering straight through my feelings. I'm not gonna dwell. I'm moving on. How? I don't know that part yet. I'd also like the universe to let me know when I get to move on. The whole powering through business, it's not happening right now.
Full disclosure, I've been avoiding that blonde girl all day. Literally running in the opposite direction at some points. I can't face her yet. I'm afraid I'd just fall apart. All the pieces of my self-esteem that I'm trying to hold together may just fall if I see her. If I see her smiling with anyone; having a not so hard time. It might kill me. And I can't let her have that too. Today, I needed to not see her. I haven't even told my best friend yet. What would I even say to her? Arizona and me weren't a thing, so we technically didn't break up. We're just not gonna hang around each other anymore? Yeah, so I'll keep this to myself for a minute. It's also hard to think about so how the hell would I start talking about it. It sounds so dumb how a girl who wasn't my girlfriend, doesn't want to be my girlfriend can have me feeling like this.
I haven't really been on my phone all day. I only put my head down and move along. I didn't want to get into it with the teachers about being on my phone. Didn't want to try and hide with it. I was already so one form of hiding. I had to keep sharp, on my feet.
So yeah, I didn't see that text until right now. It's 5 hours later. I've just read an apology. That's not what I want from her. I want us to act like nothing has happened. An apology just makes me feel more like a loser. I'm gonna respond as I'm on a bathroom break.
CT: For what? It'sgood.
She doesn't wait long to respond, almost as if she was waiting for my answer.
AZ: I'm sorry if I hurt you.
CT: Again: I'M GOOD Arizona. Please stop texting me.
She just won't let up! Like is she trying to embarrass me?
AZ: I thought we'd be friends...
CT: lol I mean that's all we've ever been right?
I'm not waiting for a response this time. I pocket my phone and head back to class. There's nothing to be said that will change anything. So I don't see why she'd even text me.
I got home right on time today. There was nothing and no one to delay me from doing so. I kinda hoped I'd stayed later. Vanessa is back in town. Of course she's staying with us because well, she's Aria's best friend. She's got done timing because whoa, I can't make this stuff up.
