Chapter 18 - Confrontation with the IMPERIALISTIC EMBARRASSMENT PALPATINE

Luke

I nimbly jumped out of the window after my dad Anakin and launched into a Cossak dance as I landed.

"Luke, is now really the time for that?" asked Anakin, trying to wrestle Palpatine's yellow fingernailed hands away from groping him through his suit.

"Oh right sorry," I cried rebelliously as I used the force to push Palpatine back and his feeble floppy body hit a giant transmitter pole thing with a loud squelching sound.

"Impressive, most impressive," gurgled Palpatine whilst voting to repeal Roe vs Wade and turning his attention to me. "Obi-Wan has taught you well. You have controlled your fear... now release your anger. Only your hatred can destroy me."

"Ok," I said very communistically FOR THE PEOPLE because I knew that all that Jedi bullshit about not fighting out of anger was dumb as fuck and just another way for the JEDI SHILLS to OPPRESS THE GALAXY. I jumped along the platform towards Palpatine with the steps of STALIN but due to the fucking capitalist oversights of Cloud City I fell and Palpatine used the force to push me off the platform because there was not sufficient railings or OH&S protocols. Luckily as I fell I was able to use the force to direct myself towards a hole thing in the floor that was ANOTHER OH&S VIOLATION. From the hole, I could hear Anakin screaming at Palpatine.

"Your son cannot save you now," said Palpatine racistly. "Join me," he orgasmed.

"I'll never join you you FUCKING DEEP FRIED CORPSE!" I heard Anakin verbalise and forgave him for taking my line.

"If only you knew the power of the dark side," Palpatine prattled on imperialistically and fascistly. "... MY dark side," he continued putting on a gimp suit with a black sun symbol on the chest.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU CRUSTY OCTOGENARIAN GET AWAY FROM ME," I heard Anakin politely request in a very feminist voice.

"Anakin," said Palpatine in the voice of Ben Shaprio. "I AM YOUR DADDY."

I heard Anakin emit a loud proletarian sigh that was amplified by his mask disguise. "I'm done with this conversation I can't take anymore," he said to Palpatine who was fondling himself through the suit. He stepped off the platform as there were no railings because that FUCKING CAPITALIST Lando wouldn't let his workers unionise so there was no way for them to demand a safer working environment from their employers and he landed beside me in the little hole thing.

"Use the force to call your sister Luke, we're leaving," yelled Anakin FOR THE PEOPLE and then Leia came in the Millenium Falcon and picked us up and we flew away all fine and nobody's hand got chopped off.