We've made it to the last motha-effin chapterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas This fic has blown up, and I really appreciate all the support! I hope future parts won't disappoint.

DoggyPocky: Yeah, in a way they're similar, but in trying to give too much away, I'll just say there're subtle differences.

iin the stars: Aww thank you for reading! I'm glad you like my fics so far :) I'm outlining the second part right now, but I'm also getting married this March sooooooo I won't make any promises as to how soon it'll be. As far as the 'sexy story' I'm debating on whether to incorporate it in this series or if it should be it's own separate thing. There's a lot of one shots of CxW's first time already, including McSgwizzle's Awaited Night. Go read dat if you haven't already. High-key highly recommend.

PervertedLemon: Gotta love auto-correct right? Lol aye, a booty call for Cupid may or may not be coming up in future parts ;)

McSgwizzle:Yeah, Wanda's goin' through it, poor baby. As far as Juan, you'll find out in this lil chap righ' hur in three...

Two...

One.


Phone in one hand, Juandissimo leaned back against the back rest of the bench, basking wearily to the full of the silver moon shining against the black backdrop. Glitters of stars sparkled against the night sky, none of which could shine any light in his darkened spirit.

Once Cupid disappeared, he never came back to the room, and after lying in bed all day, falling slave to agonizing thoughts, Juandissimo didn't blame him. He never meant to hurt Cupid's feelings and he hated himself that he did. Cupid didn't deserve that, but Juandissimo never asked for Cupid's sympathy. At the same time, that compassion helped him believe he wasn't as worthless as he thought himself to be. Tarnishing that sympathy only solidified how much of a pile of garbage he was; anyone that could make someone so caring care less…didn't deserve to be around to care for.

Occupying the same lone bench beneath the willow tree, all the voices in his head screamed in his mind. If his heart felt any heavier, it'd probably plummet out of his chest to the ground. Every single day was a struggle, every single day was a fight.

Every. Single. Agonizing. Day.

He was so…so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally…tired of everything. Of school, of being alone, of his nightmares, of running people's lives, just life in general. No matter how much he fought with himself, no matter how often he drank himself into an altered reality, the memories just wouldn't go away. They never went away.

In his other hand was a full white bottle of blue Spell, only this time, it was full to the brim, and the ratio of cough syrup and vodka could be dangerously lethal. He had mixed such a concoction with every intent to ingest all of it. It's why he texted Cupid, despite believing Cupid wouldn't read it, that he won't be back in the room whenever Cupid decided to return. Struggling just to make it to the next day, the next hour, the next minute, even down to the next second, there comes a point where you just…stop fighting.

Living is futile when your feel as if your soul has already died.

Seeing as how most students were probably at that dumb frat party off campus, the likelihood of anyone else being around wasn't much. Perfect for leaving this world for an entirely different one, perhaps a world where he could no longer feel. A world where nothing and no one can cause him pain, a world where he can't cause anyone else pain. Looking down to the phone in his hand, he contemplated calling his sister and his parents. Would it be selfish of him to call…knowing the possible outcome of drinking every last drop of the toxic concoction? Even if it was…he still wanted to hear their voices…his heart longed to hear their voices. Maybe, just maybe, it would talk him out of it.

He wasn't entirely certain. He clung to life by a thread as it was…

Opening his phone, he searched for Juanita's number and pressed 'dial.' Pressing speaker phone, elongated rings droned for what felt like minutes. It was pretty late…he wouldn't have been surprised if she didn't answer.

There was a moment of silence, the sound of shuffling on the other end, until the purity of her voice graced his ears. "Juandissimo…hey!"

"Hey…" he held the phone closer, not really up to speaking much louder. "…did I wake you?"

"Not really." she softly assured, though he could hear how tired she must be. "¿Estas bien?"

He couldn't possibly tell her…he knew it would just bring her down with him. "Si…¿y tu?"

"Bueno." Juanita sighed. "Well…besides worrying about FCTs."

Remembering his own fairy college testing days, he could sympathize with how stressful Junior year of high school can be. "You will do fine."

"I certainly hope so…"

Silence befell them, and as if on cue, he felt his eyes water. He set his bottle down to wipe them with the back of his hand, closing his eyes to stop the burning. Breaking down just wasn't an option.

"…are you still there?"

Sniffing back a sob, he managed to mask his grief. "Si…" fixing his lips in a line to keep from trembling, he choked out "I miss you…"

"I miss you too, hermano mayor." It took everything not to just give in to his sorrow. "Te quiera."

Keeping himself together, he murmured in response. "…te quiero también…" just a few moments after did he take the chance to ask "…are mamá y papá awake?"

"They should be." she assumed. "They haven't been sleeping well lately…"

Judging by the somber in her tone, it probably wasn't completely within their control. "…is it alright…if I talk to them?"

"I am sure they would love to hear from you." he heard more shuffling on the other end. "Uno momento."

More tears threatened to fall, and when he heard other voices, he damn near felt his heart break.

"…¿Mijo? ¿Estas bien?"

Why was it so triggering hearing such a simple question? Or, in his case, not so simple. "…m-mamá?"

"Oh, mijo…" the concern in his mother's voice only worsened the brimming tears. "¿Qué pasa mal?"

"…nada." he lied. They shouldn't have to worry about him so much... "…Te echo de menos…"

"I miss you too…" she somberly returned. "Te extraño tanto…"

He hadn't made the effort to go home and visit them since Christmas Break. They were oblivious to Spell, and they were oblivious to just how much he indulged. If they knew, especially his father, they would be so…so disappointed. They wouldn't understand why numbing himself became his sole way of coping with his ever-growing demons. They just wouldn't understand. Not at all.

"Hola, mijo…" he heard his father, more than likely right beside his mother. "Are you sure you are alright?"

He covered his mouth to muffle a sob. Why…were they so…freaking…nice?! That's not what he deserved! Not from them. "P-Papá?"

"Si, mijo?"

If he didn't do this, he knew he'd regret it. "…I-I just wanted…" shutting his eyes did little to prevent the stream of his sadness. "…to thank you…" he cleared the frog in his throat. "…for always loving me like your own…" holding his face in his palm, the nerves in his right knee began to bounce. "…e-even when you did not have to…"

"…mijo…" he covered his mouth once more…they can't hear him completely losing it. "…you do not have to thank me. You and Juanita…I loved you both just as much as mi hermana."

Shoulders rocking in the volcano of his anguish, he held the phone far enough in hopes they couldn't hear, just as his father continued. "Tu mamá and I will always love you both…and we want nothing but the best for each of you."

Inhaling a quivering breath, he exhaled what he could to calm himself down. Staying on this phone was becoming entirely too much. Bringing the phone closer, he wipes his tears, speaking just audible enough for his phone to pick up. "…I-I have to go…"

"It is alright, mijo." his mother came through, like she could sense his need for comfort. "Te quiero mucho, remember that…okay?"

If only he wasn't so unworthy…he'd find room to accept such a statement. "...si."

"Okay…adios, mijo." his father interjected before a brief quiet.

Hearing Juanita return on the other line, he managed to stop crying long enough to at least say goodbye. "Adios, hermano."

"…adios…hermanita."

When he disconnected the call, his decision had been made.

Hearing their love for him…hearing how much his absence weighed heavy...intensifying their worry and concern. How could he live with himself, knowing that just by existing, they would continue to suffer? At this point, he was too out of control…

He felt beyond the point of saving…so he must save himself.

Placing his phone in the pocket of his leather jacket, he retrieved the bottle of Spell from the ground. Twisting the cap open, he paused hesitantly, suddenly pinched with guilt. Yet that guilt only fueled his need to numb himself, and with every drop of Spell flowing through his lips, every memory, every past regret, every high, every low, flashed like shuffled cards across his vision, right up to the very last drop.

Shuddering from chugging an entire bottle, he used his arms to rub his mouth has he floated from his seat, hovering to prop himself against the side of the bench. He fought back the overwhelming urge to puke, allowing his wings to cease flight as he slid to the grass below, and he held the now empty bottle in his hand, glossy eyes staring upwards to the moon…

He was going to rid these nightmares for good.


Booms of 808s and drills of computerized high hats thumped against the cream and navy pin-striped wallpaper stained in one too many crazy nights, rattling the chestnut wooden floors with a sea of college students dancing and jumping about. Little light shone, with yellow and purple Christmas lights lining the top of the walls against the ceiling, along with a few strobe lights planted randomly around the many rooms of the two-story house. The kitchen held many of the refreshments, practically the whole liquor store assorted on countertops and the rickety kitchen table. Tan leather couches with rips and tears of many late-night endeavors provided seating for anyone too plastered to float, or the perfect space for frat boys to make-out with random girls while their brothers cheered them on.

Sigma Pi Lambda Fraternity Inc, appropriately abbreviated with 'SPL' (or 'Spell') hosted another one of their 'frat parties' for anyone and everyone crazy enough to engage in the drunken foolery of toxic masculinity, spiked jello shots, and the looming opportunities of date rape. Just wonderful.

Wanda was not of the mental or emotional capacity to handle much socialization, and Cosmo wasn't speaking to anyone. Everyone in the squad grew concerned for both, yet Wanda encouraged them to try and have a good time to not to let her and Cosmo's situation bring them down with them. This was one of the last parties of the semester before students buckled down for final assignments and final exams. They had to end Freshman year with some kind of bang.

Susie hovered next to Rose, both leaning back with one foot propped against the wall, finding the current game of pool between a frat boy and two random guests entertaining for whatever reason. The boys socialized over next to the refreshments, far away from all the drunk dancing, yet close enough to be near the girls in the event someone felt bold enough to test their patience. Turning to Rose, Susie rested a consoling hand on her shoulder, causing Rose to twitch slightly from the unexpected touch. "You sure you're okay?"

"…y-yeah." Rose tried to sound convincing enough. The last thing Susie or anyone needed was to worry about her so much. They did enough of that as it were. "I-I'm fine."

While Rose wasn't quite comfortable in such a large crowd, as long as she had her best friends and her boyfriend, she figured she could try to forget Zimmerman ever existed. Zimmerman was in jail, far away from her to where he can't reach her. Security at the local Fairy World Prison proved difficult to skate passed, though Zimmerman wasn't one to simply stay put. What if from some odd chance he were to escape, and what if, by some odd chance, he was to find her alone with no one else around…

Observing the girls from the back wall a few feet away from the girls watching the ongoing game of pool, One of the Spell fraternity brothers smiled to his buddies, all three of them eyeballing both girls with preying stares, ranking their level of attraction from across the room.

"Yo, forty bucks the redhead gives bomb head." the fairy with turquoise eyes and short hair snickered, sporting a mustard-yellow letterman jacket with purple SPL engraved vertically on the right side.

"Ha, fifty the darky gives bomb puss." his navy-blue-eyed dreadloc brethren playfully nudged his shoulder, wearing the same letterman jacket.

The third, brown eyes matching his side-shave, held his sensual gaze upon the girl with marmalade-orange puffs. "…I want the redhead."

"Bro, she give me those 'uppity' vibes." The navy-blue fairy commented "You really wanna tap that?"

"Bro, what do I always tell you?" the brown fairy arrogantly slapped his brethren's shoulder. "Don't matter to me, cuz they always come back for tha D!"

The three of them laughed in their sardonic glee, drunken from one too many shots of whiskey. "Well what are you waitn' on, dude?" the turquoise fairy egged on. "Go hit that!"

"Bet."

Slicking his side-shave, the brown fairy flew over to make his move. Moving passed other fairies in the crowd, he waited for the girls to notice his approach, holding a friendly yet crafty smile. "So…" he made a point to lean with his arm against their wall, hovering a little too close to Rose's liking. "What brings you fine mamasitas here, tonight?"

"You standin' a lil' close, aren't you?" Susie asked as more of a warning, Rose's obvious discomfort as more reason to react.

"Ah, my bad." he pretended to remorse, repositioning himself to hover in front of Rose instead of right beside her, eyeing each one of them.

"And we're all taken, by the way!" Susie felt the need to clarify, sniffing a dirty flirt as smelly as they come. "So you might wanna get lost." Folding her arms, she narrowed her brow in a defensive glare. "Our boyfriends can get quite jealous…"

Lips slowly curling into a wider smile, he caught on to their game. None, of which, had any real affect. Willing or not, he always gets what he wants…

His preying eyes turned back to Rose, unbothered by the distrust in her stare. "Is that so?"

Pointing a finger, Susie directed his attention to the other side of the pool table towards the where the boys huddled by the refreshments. "Why don't you ask the blue fairy over there and find out."

Nothing in the world made him laugh harder than that scrawny little blue puss glaring back at him. "That's her man?!" he mockingly asked, turning back to Rose's direction. "Some little punk?!"

With newfound courage, Rose fixed her own irritated glare; say what you want about her, but talk about her man? You must want this want this can of whoop-ass. "Buzz off, pencil peen!'"

Smile fading into a menacing scowl, nothing in the world aggravated him more than some little uppity skank demeaning his manhood.

And so he snatched Rose by the arm, his nails digging into her skin. "Little ugly whores like you probably shouldn't play hard to get!"

"Let GO of me!" Rose scratched at his hand as Susie yanked his arms in attempts to make him let go. This can't be happening, not again…

His tight grip didn't last long, not when a blue fairy red with rage mustered all of his strength to shove him off. Before the brown fairy had a chance to react, Spike balled his fist and decked him square in the jaw as Alewandro pulled Susie and Rose behind him. When the navy and turquoise frat brothers came to their friend's defense, Thornton also got in the mix by grabbing one by the arm to throw him into the other, both colliding to the ground in a heap.

The heated commotion shut everything down, the music, the dancing, the strobe lights, everything. Someone from the fraternity flipped the ceiling fan lights on as Spike and his brown opponent tumbled to the ground where he rolled on top of him and proceeded to throw articulated punches on any free surface they could bruise. Using his arms as a defense, the brown fairy blocked just a few Spike's punches as a few cracked his nose and almost blacken both of his eyes. Since the incident with Zimmerman, he vowed to himself to never, ever, let any bastard touch his Rose again, and if they had the balls to try him, he wasn't just going to stand and do nothing…not again.

Rose watched from behind Susie, seeing the fury in his eyes, hearing rage in his grunts with each punch thrown. She knew he was trying to protect her, but the Spike defending her appeared much grizzlier, not like the Spike she knew. Not the sweet bear she'd gotten to know. Seeing such aggression, such fury, reminded her of someone she never wanted to see again.

Thornton and Alewandro hurried to Spike, wrestling both arms to stop his wild strikes, and the brown fairy clutched his hemorrhaging jaw as he painfully lifted himself from the floor, darting a scowl. "You little shit!" he shouted, though, as legible as he could from the dislocation in his jawline. "I'll kill you!"

"Dude, stop!" another frat brother grabbed his brown brethren by his shoulder, holding him back. "You get inna fight, you get the axe!"

The brown fairy cursed under his breath; damn regulations. Huffing and puffing from his anger, the brown fairy was dragged away by his frat brother, pulled into the crowd to a nearby bathroom with a first-aid kit.

Some low mumbles rumbled through the crowd as Spike yanked himself free from his friend's grasps, and the instant Spike's eyes fell upon his girlfriend, the anger that once coursed through him depleted. He saw the fear in her eyes, as if she didn't recognize him.

"Rose…" Spike flew to his girlfriend, reaching to take her by the hands. Rose remained apprehensive, reluctant to go near him. Seeing Spike so hostile reminded her of how angry Zimmerman used to get, how furious he'd become…how dangerous he became.

"Hey…" he softened his worried expression in hopes of calming her nerves, trying to ignore the throb in his knuckles. He was just trying to protect her, and while he could have done much more damage, he tried to be a bit careful to not fall too far from the edge because he knew if he did, he'd scare her more than he already has.

"Guys, c'mon." Thornton urged, getting the group's attention. "Let's make like a banana and split."

Regardless of the corny joke inserted in a situation that escalated entirely too quickly, everyone was in agreeance to leave such a fiasco of a party. Taking her by the hand, Alewandro led Susie through the bustling crowds with Spike and an anxious Rose not too far behind, Thornton taking the rear in the event that brown bastard's friends wanted another shot.

Just when things couldn't get any worse…

. . . . . .

Alewandro, Susie, Spike, Rose, and Thornton ventured back to campus, turning from the sidewalk to hover inside the campus walls from the entrance just a few yards from the campus library. Rubbing her back as they floated, Spike caressed Rose's hand with the other, slightly wincing from the radiating heat in his hands.

"...Spike, your knuckles are red." Rose observed the hand that held hers in concern. "You need ice."

"Don't worry about me." Spike insisted, fighting through the pain. "I'm fine."

Traveling along the stone paths with yards of grass on either side, Rose happened to turn to her right, seeing a slumped figure against a bench by the willow tree. "…hey, guys." she spoke to get everyone's attention, pointing to the figure a few yards away. "Is it me, or is that Juandissimo over there?"

Everyone turned to Rose's finger, looking for themselves, and sure enough, Alewandro instantly recognized the wilted ponytail over the leather jacket's left shoulder. He probably wouldn't have felt a surge of uneasiness if it weren't for how still and lifeless he appeared. "…dios mi, it is!"

The others rushed behind Alewandro as they flew to Juandissimo's aid, and Alewandro kneeled down to Juandissimo's level as the rest gathered around them both. Eyes sunken and skin draining in hue by the second, the stiffness of his form gave little indication whether he was still breathing. Blue-stained chin drooped on his chest, just his shoulders remained propped against the leg of the bench with everything from the waist down, sprawled flat. The white wife-beater beneath his leather jacket had been tainted blue with what appeared to be fresh bile, and an empty bottle lay inches away from his limp hands by his sides. Horrified from such a scene, Rose clasped her hands over her mouth with Spike pulling her into an embrace, and Thornton joined Alewandro in their attempts to wake him.

"Juan!" Alewandro reached to lift Juandissimo by his chin, repeatedly tapping the side of his face. "¡Juandissimo, despierta!"

"Aye, Juan!" Thornton gave Juandissimo's shoulder a couple of rough shakes, causing his head to wobble. "Time ta wakeup, buddy!"

All efforts were in vain. Regardless of how rough Thornton shook or how hard Alewandro slapped, Juandissimo's eyes did not open.

Bending down to the mysterious white bottle, Susie brought it to her nose, catching a swift whiff of something that reminded her of medicine…and alcohol. "Hey," she held the bottle to Spike beside her. "what does this smell like?"

Taking the bottle to find out, Spike sniffed a couple times, flinching from the potent burn. "Don't smell pleasant, I know that much…"

Suddenly, Juandissimo's once limp arms began to stiffen in mild jerks of his muscles, and most of his body twitched electrically.

"…Juan?!" Alewandro panicked; the spasms in Juandissimo's muscles worsened at a fast rate, jerking moans in reaction to the convulsions overtaking his body.

The same panic enlarged in Susie's eyes…flashing back to the day her unresponsive father shook in the same uncontrollable manner. "Get him on the ground away from the bench!" she urged panickily, kneeling to her boyfriend's side. "He's having a seizure!"

Thornton and Alewandro did as instructed as they faced a bit of difficulty maneuvering Juandissimo to lay in the grass as Spike pulled out his phone to dial 911, holding a terrified Rose close to his chest. Juandissimo's rapid jerks grew more intense, yet Susie told the boys not to pin him down.

"How do we stop this?!" Thornton anxiously asked, looking to Susie for some kind of guidance.

"You can't!" Susie regretfully told, fiddling for her phone in her jean jacket to try and time the seizure. "You just have to hope it stops!"

"Uh, yeah, we need an ambulance like ten seconds ago!" Spike held his phone to his ear, staring down at Juandissimo in his explanation to the emergency operator on the other end. "There's a student at the Fairy Academy seizing a helluva 'lot and we have no idea why…" his nerves chilled in his skin when white foam bubbled out of Juandissimo's mouth, and unable to stand the horrific sight any longer, Rose covered her face with her hands, burying into Spike's chest as she cried in hitched sobs. "And if you could like, HURRY?! That would be great!"

Overwhelmed in hysterics, Alewandro pressed his hands to both sides of his temples with Thornton frantically questioning "Susie, is this normal?!"

"Does it LOOK normal?!" Susie herself was horrified from the gurgles of foam erupting from Juandissimo's throat. "Try to get him on his side so he doesn't choke!"

Thornton grabbed what he could of his shoulders to turn him over. Seeing the color slowly drain from his brother's face and his eyes rolled backwards from the little his lids parted, hitched breaths strained his chest as Alewandro started to hyperventilate. Hearing Alewandro struggle to breathe, she held him by his shoulders, one hand cupping his face to force his icy-blue to meet her indigo. "Babe, you gotta breathe!" She muffled the urgency in her tone with what little calm she could muster, for Alewandro's sake.

The burn of his pacing heart pounding against his ribs, his shoulders trembled in his efforts to catch his breath. Air seemed to only tighten his starving lungs, and hot tears flowed in rivets as his chest ached from crying, unable to stop his body from shuddering. Susie did her best to push down her own hysterics, pulling her boyfriend to hold his head against her bosom with the other arm wrapped securely around his shoulders, allowing he struggled to breathe through hitched sobs, covering his face with trembling hands.

Was he angry with his brother at first? Sure. Did he hate him, even? At one point. But never would he want this. How could he ever want this?! His brother was suffering and he couldn't do a damn thing about it…

Wait.

His brother was suffering…

…and he did not a damn thing but make it worse.

Alewandro thought he shouldn't have to stop hanging out with the two people his brother had grown to hate just because of what they did to him. Wanda breaking up with Juandissimo because she realized she still loved Cosmo had nothing to do with him, and for Juandissimo to peg him as some traitor crawled under his skin.

"Why should he have to suffer just because his brother does?" That was what he used to ask himself. But why couldn't he have been little more sympathetic? It was him that convinced Juandissimo to shoot his shot with Wanda in the first place, was it not? Wasn't he all for the relationship, despite how soon it probably was after Cosmo and Wanda broke up?

Only five weeks apart in age, Juandissimo looked up to Alewandro as Juanita looked up to Juandissimo. Whatever Wandro did, Juan wanted to do, and when they were younger, wherever Wandro was, Juan was sure to follow. Their bond was already strong like brothers well before the adoption. Juandissimo went through heartbreak not once, but twice. The breakup with Wanda tore him to shreds; he cared and loved her deeply, and just being near her alleviated most of his woes. The break up absolutely destroyed him, but while Juandissimo needed his big brother more than ever before… Alewandro hated him.

He hated Juandissimo expressing his anguish in anger, he hated Juandissimo for taking issue to befriending Wanda and Cosmo, accusing him of being in full support of the pain it caused, and he believed Juandissimo brought his troubles on himself when in reality, that wasn't always the case. Especially not with his mother.

The audacity of his words regarding his late aunt had to be the lowest of blows.

Torn down in a heap of agony and heartache, and Alewandro just had to light another match by blaming a tragedy that was no one else's fault that the madman who caused it. Thinking back now, did he even mean any of what he said? Did he just say those things to hurt Juandissimo as much as the receiving end of Juandissimo's spitefulness hurt him? It wasn't Juandissimo's fault that his mother was so brutally murdered…it was never his fault. Yet in spite of knowing Juandissimo blamed himself plenty, Alewandro just had pull the trigger to the gun Juandissimo already held against his chest…

Alewandro cursed himself for being such a fool. Why else would Juandissimo have pushed everyone away? Instead allowing Juandissimo's behavior to push him away, he should have read between the lines. Juandissimo didn't want to push anyone away, he did so because he felt he had to, as if he deserved nothing else but to suffer in silence.

To say he was completely blind to Juandissimo's emotional deterioration would be a lie. He could see how much Juandissimo was hurting, and judging by his tardiness and the constant hangovers, he figured Juandissimo wasn't taking care of himself. He just didn't care. He didn't care if Juandissimo chose to rot from the inside out. But if he bothered to see outside of his own eyes and care, then Juandissimo wouldn't be unresponsive on the ground in erratic convulsions right now…

No…he can't lose his hermanito…not like this.


…Darkness. Pure, bleak darkness. So satisfying...so warm...

Black. Nothing but black. No walls, no ground, no sky...simply…abyss. Swimming in a never-ending sea of obscurity, bleak in the shadows. His soul swam freely…almost flew. He felt so light…so free...he never wanted to leave...never wanted the darkness to end.

He didn't want to go back. Ever.

Suddenly her dark world created a speckle of light. Such a tiny speck of white. He felt herself become drawn towards the speck, almost mesmerized. And yet the darkness continued to pull him in, drown her within the deep waters of serenity...

The speck soon turned into a small hole...a round ball of shine which began to burn. His soul was burning beneath the beam of light as it continued to grow, almost drawing closer. He felt the darkness become weaker...the light growing stronger. As much as he wanted to fight, he could feel nothing. He could not sense any hands or feet, or even his spine. Nothing...

So numb, lifeless, he grew nearer and nearer towards such an enormous shaft of light…drawing him closer...quicker...faster...

Void of blank space surrounded him, pure white in every direction. He recognized this place…from many of his vivid nightmares. Was this another one?

As if to answer his question, an angelic figure materialized before him. A light which resembled the face of a familiar angel. A familiar angel, always near. Her soft, lilac eyes, her silk, golden brown skin, her long, flowing black waves, her warm, porcelain smile…

The holiness of her essence…before the blood.

He watched her intently as she drew near, her entrancing smile shrouding him in warmth. Frozen, unable to move, enveloped in the shock of it all…her delicate hands brushed his cheeks, holding him as she gazed lovingly upon him.

So much longing, so much yearning, dropping rivets from his blue-violet eyes into her palms. Here she was, right in front of him…just as beautiful as he remembered, her hands soft as he remembered, her whole aura so kind and caring…

Estrella…his mother.

"Do not forget, mijo…" her gentle, sweet voice parted her lips, her thumbs stroking his face in tiny circles. "…no estas solo."

Raising quivering hands to hers, he peered into her lilac orbs… blinking for the water in his eyes to fall. As much as he wished to be overjoyed in her presence, an enormous amount of guilt washed over him. "…lo siento mamá…"

Lowering his head, she holds his eyes to hers, her empathy waivered. "Do not be, mijo…" the love in her smile can light any darkness… "You did nothing wrong..."

Whether she believed that or not, he couldn't accept that… "Por favor…"his eyes swelled in his remorse, streaming larger in her hands. "…forgive me…"

"Mijo…you did not wrong me." she tenderly ensured. "if anything at all…please forgive me…" her smile fell into deep sorrow "…for not leaving him sooner…for causing you and tu hermana so much pain…"

Cries muffling into soft sobs…his aching gaze remained…the tight in his throat choking his words. "…I wish…I can stay with you…"

"I know, mijo, but you cannot…" she comforted him, her eyes glossing in her smile to him. "…you are not meant to be where I am."

Shutting his eyes, he lowered his head once more in regret, but she lifted his chin for him to look at her, hoping to shed hope into his despair. "Remember…I am always with you…" her other hand set carefully over his, right over where his heart would be. "…always…in here."

Sparkles of a brighter light shined behind him, both turning in its direction. The sun of a new beginning…of a new life.

"It is time for you to go…" she stated unfortunately, causing him to spin around to gaze upon her beauty once more. "…you must go back…"

Hesitation riddled his features…he didn't want to…

Sensing his hesitation, she hovered to embrace him lovingly, squeezing every inch of him she could…every inch…that she missed dearly. He, in return, held her near, feeling her tender fingers scrunch the back of his head, just as when he was a small child. In this embrace they stayed…just long enough for the light behind them to shine brighter…

"…Te quiera mucha, Juandissimo…"she breathed against his cheek, damping his with her joyous yet mournful tears. "…mi querido hijo…"

Letting his tears flow freely, he whimpered "…te quiero mucho…mi madre angel…"

It pained her to let him go, but she knew it was what she must do. He couldn't be here…not when he did not need to be. She loved him with every essence of herself, and if you truly love someone, you must let them go…

He waited for her to plant a kiss on his cheek, the salt of his tears coating her lips, and he stood back momentarily to capture the sight of such beauty, engraving her beauty in his mind so that he may cherish this memory for as long as he shall live…He needed to remember her before her death…needed to implant such a peaceful, soothing image of her…so that he may find peace in the comfort of her presence…while not physical, always spiritual…

In willing himself to do as his mother said, he turned towards the shining light and floated in its direction…as if a magnetic pull…his control disappeared…as the light pulled its rope around him…sucking him in with a gentle force…

His eyes throbbed in his slow blinks, stung from the light mounted into a pane of fiberglass above him. His face felt covered by something suctioned around his nose and mouth, breathing his oxygen for him. A weighted dizziness fogged his skull, uncertain of his whereabouts or how he came to be. Rhythmic mechanical beeps pulsed gradually into his ears, growing louder the more he entered into wakefulness, and for some odd reason, he couldn't freely move his left arm, sensing a dead weight next to it.

Regaining just enough consciousness to move his eyes, he tilted his head slightly to see his sister's body snuggled next to his in the same singular bed of baby-blue cotton, her head rested peacefully on the left of his chest with her side ponytail slung over her shoulder. Her arm hung over his torso in her sleep, holding on as if to never let go. Finding the strength to look further to his left, his mother slept with her head propped against her husband's shoulders as his cheek fell against the top of her silky black waves, both slouched in chairs that looked far from uncomfortable as far as he could comprehend.

His head pounding, he willed his neck to turn more to his right, only to see his brother curled on his side in two chairs pushed together. It didn't look like he was sleeping, his shoulders rose and fell too irregularly. With most of the little energy he gained drained, exhaustion came creeping back in a darkened haze. His eyes slowly began to droop, the sweet relief of sleep calling to him. His ears caught the muddled sound of a muffled sob, the sight of icy tears streaming from his brother's clinched eyes as the last he saw before he drifted into blissful dreams.

To be continued…


AN: UGGGGHHHHHHHH WHAT HAVE I DOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEE?!

As much as I would have liked to have had this story completely finished before posting, the feedback I received helped mold and shape what this fic is today. I might keep doing that; believe me when I say the original outlines I had pail in comparison.

With that being said, feel free to PM or write a review of what you'd like to see in the next part. I have ideas, but they're not exactly set in stone.

And with that, I bid thee farewell. Stay safe out here in these streets. Byyyeeeeeeeeeee