To say Severus and Remus were making up for the lost time would be an understatement. On the following days, they went from breaking the ice to not giving each other rest when it came to intimacy. Severus was not joking when he said he had ideas for each room in the house and Remus became a specialist in muffling spells, renewing them every afternoon with a mug of tea in his left hand and wand of the right one.

On a certain evening, while Snape read a book sitting on his bed, he glanced at his partner performing the Muffliato charm from the door. Lupin took maybe two steps into the corridor when he heard his favorite deep voice coming from the bedroom.

"I'd reinforce this window if I were you"

Lupin came back to the bedroom without saying a word. They glanced at each other as he passed and performed the spell very cautiously in the corners. Snape observed with an approving smirk, eyes glistening with the possibilities.

Lupin came closer to the bed and took notice of the book Snape was reading.

"You know that I know what this book is all about" he said analyzing his partner

"If you can tell, it's because you already touched it… and read it" Snape replied maliciously

Remus had only heard of that before, but there were adult-themed books that were charmed to appear as if they had another title and text before the reader touches the pages.

"Well, you did mention I could read whatever I wanted"

"Indeed… And now I wonder which chapter you liked more. Was it the one about public sex…" Snape started, receiving no reaction from Lupin. "Maybe the one about the threesome" Still an indecipherable mask from Lupin. "Perhaps…" he said smirking in anticipation, this time Lupin knew he would be busted. "Could it be... the one about… that leather collar?" Snape asked delighted to see Lupin blush in embarrassment. Remus was actually relieved Severus didn't use the title of the chapter

"Seems… interesting" Remus said trying to make it sound like he didn't get a hard-on late at night after Snape went to bed

"Would be lying if I said I don't think the same. You know I can assume both roles depending on the scene, however, for this particular type I can only manage being Dom. Would it make it any less… interesting to you?" Snape asked

"Actually, I didn't even think about me being a dom in this one" Remus admitted

"We can discuss further if we go to London, they have good shops for this"

"I told you that if you go I'll stay to save some money but I trust you'll buy us good accessories"

Things had changed considerably since Snape decided to be more open about his kinks. He wouldn't mention everything or details about his previous plays, but they would talk about specific sexual interests they didn't before. They were also trying new things as they came to mind, both agreed to simply let it happen if it was mutual.

Lupin sat by Snape's side in bed, noticing he had been paying attention to the book. Wasn't a full hard-on, but the circumstances had great potential.

Only two days ago, they had agreed on a play that extended itself throughout the day. Snape had suggested it and since neither had ever had the time and privacy to do it before, they went for it.

It consisted of Snape giving head to Lupin while he tried to concentrate on other activities. And also starting whenever asked to. Lupin was hesitant to request it at first, but by mid-afternoon he was very into it, pulling Snape's hair while standing in the corridor.

It never occurred to Remus that Snape knew how to be such a good sub, he didn't hesitate and it was clear his submission was heavily linked to his dirtiest desires. As a dom, he was well mannered, per se. Calculated, cunning, and eager to make anyone lose control. From being a dom he enjoyed the power exchange. But from being a sub, it was all about the overstimulation and lewd part of sex such as spending a day tasting his partner and letting him cum wherever he pleased.

It was also agreed that day, that Lupin wouldn't stimulate him at all. Obviously, Snape had taken care of it himself when the day was over, but since then, they didn't engage in anything sexual. Fair enough for Remus, who didn't feel the slightest need to, but the days were weighting on Severus for sure.

Remus caressed Snape's inner thighs, receiving some short involuntary movements from his partner. He wanted it, his body was still aching for attention. They kissed and Remus ran his fingers under Severus' light shirt, making him moan while they kiss.

"How about a little treat? I wouldn't want to disturb your reading and the night is so far away" Remus suggested

"You see, I never doubted your creativity"

They went downstairs and firstly, Remus sat by the couch while Snape sat at his armchair. They waited for Snape to read the first part of a chapter from his book. He resisted as much as he could, but soon his bulge just needed the attention it lacked two days ago.

Lupin came closer, kneeling in front of him and starting to work on his clothes, unbuttoning and unzipping them, not before kissing over the fabric.

"Which one did you chose?" Remus asked right before teasing his tip for the first time

Snape gripped the book cover, already feeling a slight tremor in his hands.

"The third story, about the handcuffs" he answered breathing heavily as he felt Remus starting to work on him

It was hard to focus on the story he was meant to be reading when his body was so horny from the other day. And yet, it added to their short scene. For a while, after the first overwhelming moment, Snape was able to actually read some paragraphs as he grabbed Remus' hair indicating he could go deeper on him. Remus sometimes obeyed him, and sometimes he would go back just teasing the tip with his fast tongue just to provoke his partner. The Slytherin would hold his partner's face and hair on the side with desire, observing him work on him without putting his cock on his mouth.

Severus was also craving for something else since the book made reference to it. After a good while of sucking and being set on the edge, Severus asked Remus if he could oblige to his last request.

Next thing they knew, Severus had his knees on the seat of the armchair, leaning to the front and Remus was right behind him, licking and kissing him. And he was proving to be a good student since Severus recognized the pattern being used on him. Made him remember the time they did it in his classroom, except they exchanged roles this time.

"Remus!" Snape exclaimed almost outraged by how he managed to suck his balls and base from behind, soon feeling him stimulate where he was before

Snape hissed when Lupin penetrated him with his tongue, going faster on him, hitting just the right places. Remus also moaned while pleasuring the other. He slapped him and loved to know Snape missed his tongue whenever he needed a second to reposition himself.

"Oh, Rem… yeah… that, oh… fuck…"

Snape felt his legs trembling, his crotch squeezing and the weight of his erection pounding on his own flesh. He leaned on the back of his armchair, cumming a lot, not believing he hadn't even touched himself to find his release. Lupin didn't let go of him until he heard the gasps and heavy breathing from the aftermath.

They wanted to continue with their original plan for the late hours, involving movement restriction, a personal favorite among them. Nothing too extreme, spells on the wrists always had their charm. However, Severus took notice Lupin was acting a little strange with the passing hours.

The truth is that they napped and Severus heard him speak a few words in his sleep. None of them made much sense or had an easy context to follow, the only thing to be said was that after waking up, Remus became gloomy although he tried to hide it from Severus.

To Snape, it was simply inconceivable to suggest they tried something that required so much emotional energy in the bedroom given the circumstances, so he decided to try doing something else to enjoy the company.

At first, Remus thought it was strange for Severus to ask for help with a recipe in the kitchen, finding it twice as strange that it was indeed complicated and took a considerable time in the over once settled. It clearly overlapped the time they had agreed on something else. Being such a considerate person, the werewolf figured maybe when done with two people it would take less time, he washed his hands and started to help him.

Time passed quickly since they both forgot about everything else, they chatted about things and cursed the hot weather they had been facing in the past few days. It was only when everything was in the oven and Lupin was washing his hands in the sink, that he took a look at the time and understood it had all been intentional. Severus had never dropped out of one of their ideas, so he must have noticed something was off.

After checking the time, he looked at Severus, who gave him a tender look in return. They sat silently by the table, resting after all the time they had spent standing up while cooking.

"Thanks, Sev. You know why" Remus said looking at the oven

"I know you're curious about all the new things we've been trying. But there is no harm to leave it to another moment. Or saying no. I find you to be a great partner, you understand me so fast every time I bring a new element for us to try"

Lupin nodded, appreciating what Snape said. He had been with demanding partners before and it was something that left a mark on him. Even if he never said it to anyone.

"I was just thinking…" He said after a while. Wasn't his unusual tone, it made Snape nervous. "Did I used to... bore you? You know, befo-"

"What?! Of course not! Where did you get that idea from?" Snape said perplexed

"I don't know, you like some things I've never even heard before" Only this time, Lupin wished he had chosen other words, Severus seemed to be a little upset by how he put it. Turns out, the Slytherin could be experienced, but it didn't change the fact he was still building his confidence to talk about it openly. "Oh, no, no, I didn't mean it that way. There is nothing wrong with what you like, Sev. I just felt bad because I thought I was keeping you from all that before"

Severus took a moment to answer, touching their fingertips right before speaking.

"It's fine, Rem. You didn't mean it" Snape decided. "Most importantly, you never bored me with absolutely anything. I never spoke about any of this outside a dungeon, it makes me… uneasy. And honestly, even if you hated all that, wouldn't have changed anything. I usually assume people will react badly so keep it to myself" Snape took a moment to continue, this time he was the one looking to the oven. "You have to stop thinking people are making you a favor on keeping you close. It could easily be the other way around, you see"

By now they had their fingers tangled on each other, caressing them as they speak. It was strange to be accused of something like that and yet, when said by someone else, Remus could acknowledge some of it as being true. This was the type of statement he needed to hear from time to time, to ground himself. And Severus never thought him to be weak for admitting it, being vulnerable to others requires courage.

"One of the things I've always admired about you is that you are unapologetic about being yourself. You really don't care and you stand your ground and people actually take it into consideration that displeasing you is not a good idea. I wish I could be more like that" Remus answered in a brighter tone

They kept chatting in the kitchen for a while and later on, Severus went out for a smoke before it started raining. To Remus, it was quite a surprise to see Severus smoking when they arrived at his home. The wizard had mentioned before that he smoked here and there, the same pack lingering on his drawer unfinished for an entire semester but also visibly decreasing in content over time. However, Lupin had never seen him doing it before.

While feeling the somewhere cold wind blow on his face just outside the door, Snape instinctively looked up at the dark sky, thankful for the refreshing breeze. The wind made his cigarette crack the tobacco leaves while he inhaled, which was a pleasant sound to him. It was surreal to think that for the first time in his life, he wanted to be back inside. That there was someone there he was looking forward to seeing.

When he came back, Lupin seemed to be concerned about something. Snape soon discovered to be the moon phase when he came back to the kitchen and saw it in the sky through the window. It was a rather pleasant time in the cycle for Lupin, however, he would transform just like every month, and they had no wolfsbane yet. That was the reason Snape was planning to travel to London, so he could buy the potion. The ingredients and equipment he had at home were by far insufficient to prepare it.

Snape came closer to Remus, who was just waiting by the oven for the last few minutes before it was ready. He embraced him from behind.

"I'll go to London, buy us enough wolfsbane for the next months. We'll secure the room and-" Snape started

"No, Severus, absolutely not. I told you, I won't be transforming at your house"

To be fair, Remus didn't want Severus to ever see him as a werewolf again.

Snape didn't want to argue tonight, by all means, they had already talked about touchy topics and things were fine, no need to make it complicated again.

To Severus' surprise, Remus wanted to spend the night in his bedroom, announcing it from the corridor as he walked there not long after they had dinner. Snape could have sworn Lupin would want to cuddle, which would be perfect because he wanted to but now he'd have to wait.

The dark wizard then also went to his bedroom, laying down in bed thinking of what they could do about the full moon. Lupin was very resistant to the idea of transforming inside the house and spending lots of money with wolfsbane. On a walk around the edges of Cokeworth, Remus saw an abandoned police station with two cells they could use to imprison him. Severus was strongly against it, he also didn't like the previous place he'd transform claiming it to be dehumanizing to force Remus to stay in such places. Snape never used that word, of course, but Remus knew what he meant.

It occurred to Snape to try something new, something he had only thought to himself so far. He had been able to produce the potion perfectly for a year and he had a respectable name to his craft. Perhaps more on an academic field, but other potion masters knew him. He pondered while tapping his fingers on the mattress, unquiet, intrigued to find a solution. And when he finally traced a plan, what he had in mind was way out of his comfort zone.

By now, Snape couldn't simply sleep. Maybe he would never be this willing to write the letter that could potentially solve this for them ever again. So he got some parchment and ink and although it was a bit late, he started working on the letter he would send to London the next day.

At the end of the corridor, Lupin heard some creaking sounds and maybe, just maybe, a quill in an ink container. Could also have been his imagination, didn't matter, he just wanted to lay down quietly in bed, not needing to put up a face to anyone.

Something he liked about Severus was that whenever he needed space, Snape gave it to him. And he definitely needed some after recalling the dreams he had during his nap. To be fair, his best nights of sleep since his last transformations were the ones in which he didn't dream.

This last nightmare was about bitting Severus and Sirius while transformed. Something in the lines of both going after him during the full moon unaware he didn't have the potion. The hardest part was seeing a bite on Severus' thigh that wouldn't stop bleeding. In his dream, the wolf wanted him to survive the bleeding, but Remus sincerely didn't. He'd rather have killed Severus than turning him into what he already was. And also, he saw himself bite a piece of Sirius' ear off while he was on his dog form.

Remus was very grateful Severus had replaced the kinky sex they were supposed to have for making a pie with an intricate dough. He forgot about all that while they cooked. Giving it some thought, anything that resembled harshness was not a good idea for now.

"I should have told him, I don't want to give him trust issues" Remus thought, feeling guilty

They had a serious conversation on the couch after they started being intimate again.

Snape was unsure if they should be having sex at first, since Remus was clearly emotionally unwell. He cared for him, always observant when Remus became unusually quiet. A few times, Snape heard him crying inside the bedroom and came to comfort him. Sometimes it was almost scary to understand how desolated Lupin really was.

And yet, Lupin meant every word when he said he wanted to experiment with new things. Most of the time, he would be the one who would start the touching and kissing, to reassure Severus he wanted it. Snape decided to believe Remus since he had been to a dungeon himself after their tough breakup.

Remus laid on his side and as soon as he closed his eyes, he tensed up. He was worried sick about Sirius, never truly sure if he had bitten him. And also feeling selfish for considering all the work Severus would have to get him a potion. The same one he had a month before and carelessly didn't take. By all means, he didn't believe himself to be worth that trouble.

Often, Lupin was able to focus on the moment while they spent time together in the house or going out for groceries or short walks. He intrigued himself with how it was possible for him to live a double life in his feelings. He was indeed happy to be there, to have Snape back in his life, even if they didn't say they were officially dating again. They were adults, very serious ones for that matter. And by saying yes to being together now, could mean serious commitment in the upcoming years, it had to be well thought. And they knew that.

Regardless of the overly complicated paths their lives could take, they were happy this summer. And to Remus, it was ironic and very true that this was the time he felt more accomplished when it came to his love life.

It is a common belief that when someone is struggling, they feel nothing more than the grief that comes within. And truly, this anguish might become the filter for how someone experiences life, however, when there is simply no choice but to continue living one day after the other, it is quite possible to experience other feelings as well. Especially when you spend so much time with someone whose affection is healing to you.

Remus' mind, by all means, was capable of handling this level of emotional complexity. And by handling, doesn't mean he wouldn't be affected by his darker thoughts or break down, this complexity is the fact he could also look into his relationship with Severus and find room to understand he was growing fond of him again. Those feelings, unlike what he predicted at their conversations at Hogwarts, weren't so tangled with the other ones. He could easily see through them and know they had to be addressed with caution, but they weren't numbed by his sorrow.

Every other day, Lupin felt a deep sense of dread, an exhaustion to see his life the way it was. Not finding a job was consuming him on the inside, he never rested the same. But even so, people end up finding ways to give room to a broader spectrum of feelings other than sadness, once they understand they might have some type of emotional chronic pain.

Tonight he needed space, maybe he would cry. Maybe that's the reason he needed to be alone. But with the passing days, it became clear to him that Severus had done the right thing inviting him in. Remus knew himself well enough to know a few nights like this without someone in the other room could give him trouble, he made that mental note while running his fingers in his old scar. The one on his thigh.

Lupin continued lying down, this time on the other side. Concerns about his future and all the people and places he had to leave for being who he was were giving him some emotional motion sickness. He really wished he never had to leave a single place without taking his favorite things with him. Remus had said way too many sorrowful good-byes to someone his age, it was simply a weight too heavy to carry at times.

When Severus finished his letter, he felt really accomplished. It was a long shot, only an old idea but Remus had given him a reason to do it. Lupin had always given him the inspiration to try things, to perfect his potion-making, to create a solid potion in a single night, to overcome some fears that didn't age well.

Snape heard a low knock at the door, getting up, wondering if something had happened. Most unusual for Remus to be awake this late.

"Rem, are you ok?" He asked opening the door slowly

He was anguished, it was visible. Snape was about to try sounding more casual so as not to make it such a huge deal.

"Actually… not really. Mind if I stay?" he asked

Severus was disarmed. After all this time Remus had actually been honest about it.

"Of course" Snape answered

They didn't speak and Remus, noticing Severus was still not sleepy enough, said he didn't mind if he lids a candle to read. Which he eventually did, after cuddling for a while. As he read the first pages, he caressed Remus' hair here and there.

"I'm proud of you" Severus whispered to his ear after blowing the candle and getting in place to sleep

Remus placed his arm around Severus's waist, already half asleep.

"You reached out. I know it's hard" Snape said giving him a kiss

And for how gently he was received, Remus knew that all the spirals, loops, and echos in his mind could give place to peaceful dreams.