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Chapter Twenty

I sighed as I trotted down the stairs away from the quarterdeck, I felt lighter after cheering up both Blamey and myself. I liked seeing him covered in that light blue color that meant he was less worried. The breeze that ruffled my hair on the deck was gentle and refreshing. I watched the spacers at work on deck and racked my brains as to who I should borrow to help me collect batoning supplies. It wasn't until a group of younger spacers jogged by that I selected a helper.

"Harlow!" I was proud of my choice, not only was Harlow an eager and sensible crewmember and she also had many useful arms that made her a speedy worker. She whipped around at the sound of my voice and detached herself from the group. "Harlow, what are you working on at the moment? Can I pull you away?"

"Oh, I'm supposed to be checking the foremast sails with Cephas but he could probably do without me. Why?" Her large eyes were always bright with excitement.

"I need help grabbing the batoning stuff for the hold, want to help? It will probably take the rest of the day to secure stuff down there."

"Yes, Miss Alice! I would love that, I've been checking sails all day. May I go ask Cephas if I can be spared?"

"Yes, of course. Meet me in the bosun's locker when you're done."

"Aye, ma'am!"

"And don't call me ma'…" I trailed off because she had already bounded out of earshot. Where did these rookies get their energy? I smirked and headed down to the third level of the ship and made my way forward. The storage room was in the nose of the ship and the far walls came together at a sharp angle. Low ceiling rooms like this used to make me claustrophobic. When I was a slave, I was usually held captive in cramped closets or spare brig cells whenever I wasn't working, I never liked being reminded of that. It was only when I transitioned into being a pirate that I was finally able to sleep in the gun deck with the rest of the crew, not that it was much better there. I spent nearly a week without sleep as a new pirate in the dark, with my knife, not trusting the crew and waiting for assault after assault. Eventually, I stabbed enough people that the crew learned not to mess with the scrappy little slave girl. Only then did I get my rest. After that, I didn't mind working in grimy, little hellholes like the control cabin because at least I was free to leave whenever I wanted, for the most part. I've gotten used to ignoring bad memories like the ones the bosun's locker stirred in my mind.

I pushed my way forward through the enormous piles of rope and chains, scraps of wood, and sailcloth meant for quick repairs until I made it to the net hanging on the wall. I unhooked one end and caught the bundle of woven cords before they could spill onto the ground. Each cord was nearly two meters long with hooks on each end and they stretched slightly so it made it easier to tighten whatever you are tying down. There were two scores. I hoped that would be enough. I unhooked the other end of the net and hauled it out of the locker to set it on the walkway outside. I was just about to dive back in when Harlow scampered down the hall.

"Okay! Cephas let me go. I'm all yours, miss!" She was practically dancing with anticipation.

I pressed a hand onto her shoulder to slow her down if it was even possible. "What did I say about the 'miss' and 'ma'am' business?"

She finally stopped bobbing up and down. "I know, I know. I just got so excited that I forgot."

I laughed. "I can see that. C'mon, let's grab the ropes and ties first, and then we'll come back for the anchors and fasteners."

We set about our task by snatching all of the light rope and thin, oiled cords and lugging them down to the hold. Blamey and five other spacers were already in the supply side of the hold while he delegated the spacers who were securing the ship's spare timber and metal on the other side. He smiled broadly as we dumped the supplies in an empty space on the floor.

"Great work, lassies. Jus' get th' clips and such an' we'll get started."

I gave him a mock salute, sticking my tongue out at him before I ducked out of the way so he couldn't cuff me around the ears. Harlow and I jogged back to the locker but I started mentally chiding myself for sassing him. That's not something a senior officer should do around other crew members. I cringed as I hauled a crate of hooks and clips back to the hold. I set the box down with a bang and waited for Blamey to finish his conversation with another spacer before he turned to me.

"Harlow is coming back with the last of the anchors and locks. Is there anything else we should fetch, sir?" I saw him scan my face, looking for a joke but I tried to sober my tone as much as possible. I wanted to show that I took this, and him, seriously.

He eventually seemed convinced. "Nay. Go an' guide those greenies tryin' t' lock down tha' locker o' muskets before they shoot someone."

"You got it!" I walked over to the two canid spacers fumbling to align the weapons in the correct compartment. These guns were either in disrepair and out of use or they were newer but mediocre models that didn't merit a place in the magazine of weapons upstairs. Unfortunately, these hapless spacers had muddled the two kinds in their pitiful attempt to stow them in the locker. To be fair, it was harder to gather the guns and rope them in place than to slide them into a rack upstairs, I'll give them that. But I had to sidestep more than a few muskets on the ground to reach the pile they were working on. One canid was on the ground pulling guns free and handing them to the second but that one kept dropping them because his arms were too full of the heavy weapons to move them.

"Stop! Stop, just don't move."

They looked up with guilty faces. "Look, I know we've messed this up, but we're fixing it, promise!"

I sighed. "We'll figure this out. Just stop moving! Seriously! These things are still dangerous even if they're not loaded. You set those down slowly, and you, help him." I tiptoed my way over until I was the closest to the locker. I untied the messy knot that was there before and removed the only four guns that had safely made it to the compartment. With those muskets out of the way, I reorganized the loops of waxed cord. "Okay, hand me the old ones. Do you still know which ones those are?"

They mumbled a 'yes' and started weeding through the pile. I took each one that they passed to me and stacked it on the far side of the locker. I used my hip to keep them in place so they didn't slide out.

"That should be all of them, do you want the others now?"

"Just hang on a second, okay?" Still pinning them against the back corner, I made a long loop in the cord and threaded it through the wooden slats that comprised the walls of the locker, and made an easily removable knot there. Then I took the other end of the cord and threaded it in a similar manner to the opposite end of the locker so the muskets were trapped between the cord and the back wall. With a few quick loops, I'd created a pulley-like knot and tightened as much as I could before tying it off. I repeated the process down near the floor as well. Not that we should need these derelict guns but if we did, we would be able to access them quickly. "Alright, give me the others."

The unused muskets clattered as I shoved them all in place. I tied them down like the others and after double-checking none of them would slide around, I stepped away from the locker. "Here, you can handle tying a door shut, right?"

They nodded so I tossed them another rope and looked around. The hold was a frenzied nest of hasty preparations. Spacers were bustling about and bumping into one another and I even saw a crewmember trip over a chain and faceplant into the pile of tarps. This was chaos. I squirmed my way over to Blamey but he was busy bellowing at the team locking the food barrels down.

"Like I said, ye got t' hold 'em there before ye tighten the rope!" He mopped his brow with a large handkerchief and turned his attention to me. "I dunno what t' do with these young 'uns. I've told 'em we have a few days but they're racin' like the storm's comin' tonight!"

I patted him on one of his tentacles. "I know, they're just scared. They don't know what to expect and we all want to feel in control and not helpless." Even though we are, I finished in my head. "What if you have them split into two groups, one takes a break while the others keep going and then switch? It might lessen the madness."

"Ye're probably right, lass. Go an' see if any food or drink can be spared from th' galley, might calm 'em down. Excuse me, Alice, I'm goin' to shout now. Ye best cover yore ears an' get goin'."

I thanked him for the warning and darted off to the sound of the big spacer yelling for the crew's attention. The hold wasn't the only place filled with chaos. Pandemonium ensued on deck and it was taking everything in Owen and Adri to maintain some sense of order. I shook my head as I made it to the galley. Even the seasoned spacers were shaken by the magnitude of this upcoming storm, I wondered if anyone would be able to sleep tonight. Vin started as I walked up behind me.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

He rose to his full, intimidating height. "You didn't scare me, girl. What do you need and why are you in my galley?" Vin's voice sounded like an avalanche.

"Blamey sent me to ask if any food or drink could be spared for the crew below. It's for a break." I felt very small and thin standing next to the crustacean.

"What? Are we handing out candies to these tired babes now?" He continued his dark grumbling but rattled into the storeroom just the same. He came out with a small sack and a large flagon of something. "Here. You can take these dried purps and this leftover bitter cherry wine. They're both going to spoil soon anyway. Those nose-wiping liddle children better thank me later. Get out of my galley."

I bobbed my head and fled out of the mess hall. The deck was slightly more controlled by now. I saw Jim and Brent consulting a map at the ship's wheel. C'mon, Jim. Just look at me. Tell me everything will be okay. But he didn't and I felt cold as I walked back to the hold. Blamey had the hold back under control when I arrived and delegated who would break first. Like Blamey, I skipped the breaks entirely and started working in a small corner where I wouldn't be bothered. Excluding the few interruptions, I kept myself busy until supper.

There was a weird tension in the mess hall that night. Everyone was trying to distract themselves but no one could quite take their mind off of the storm. There was the normal dinner chatter but it was strained and it felt wrong when someone laughed out loud so not many did. The officer's table was mostly quiet. Brent and Owen were discussing something in low tones. With the exception of Mari's apologetic smile toward me, no one would look at me. Well, no one was looking at anyone but I felt alienated, everyone was distant. Jim's face was hard and his stare bore into the table like he was trying to melt it. I wanted to ask somehow if he would still meet me under the stairs but I couldn't. I guess I would find out later.

I left with Blamey to fix some mistakes that had been made in the hold earlier in the afternoon. We worked quietly and finished incomplete tasks and reorganized the rest of the supplies that we would need tomorrow and the days after because the work was far from done down here. Our progress came to a natural end and we left off for the night. The two of us wandered on deck and said our 'good night's. I glanced at the large ship's clock. It was 20:00 on the dot. Exactly a half-hour before Jim and I had agreed to meet under the stairs. I gnawed on my lip, what should I do in the meantime? Would he even show up after this crazy day? I stood motionless on the deck and watched the seconds tick by. If Jim was still going to meet me, he said he would bring the light and the cards, I could at least bring a blanket or something to sit on so I walked to my cabin.

Once inside, I yanked the thick wool blanket off my bed and folded it as small as possible. I didn't need anyone asking questions about why I was carrying a blanket. I pulled my jacket on because I knew it would soon grow cold on the deck when Mariano lowered the temperature for the night. I was just about to slip out of my room when my eyes caught on the small lantern dangling from the ceiling, my only light source at night. Shrugging, I unhooked it and took it with me. Mari had dimmed the lights by the time I walked out on deck and I was grateful for the cover of darkness as I slinked over to the stairs. I stole one last look around before I ducked into our hiding place. Nothing had changed under here and that somehow relieved me that very few people disturbed this place.

I crept to the very back corner and switched on my lantern. A soft, orange-tinted glow appeared in the lantern and bathed the space in a warm light. Setting it on the floor, I spread out the blanket so there was enough room for both of us to sit on it. It was still a few minutes before 20:30, I had to wait. I shifted the lantern so two crates were blocking it so no light would shine out of the entrance and I sat on the scratchy blanket in the dimly lit storage area and pulled my knees up to my chest. It felt like hours. I had nothing to do except think and my thoughts often turned down dark roads. Guilt still lingered in my heart because Jim was wasting his time with me. We were dangerous for each other but that is something I can't explain to him without giving myself away. Of course, thoughts of the storm swirled through my mind as well.

It had been forever, maybe he wasn't coming. I crawled out just far enough to see the clock. 20:47. I sighed and scrubbed my hands over my face. Normally, I would be in bed by now because of my early mornings. How much longer should I wait? Where are you, Jim? I decided I might as well wait until 21:00 since I had been up this long already. I picked my way around a barrel and sat on a coil of rope close to the entrance of our cave. From my seat, I could see most of the deck. I prayed no one could see me in the dark. There was no activity to watch, no sounds other than boards creaking and sail ruffling. My eyelids were starting to droop.

Footsteps. Footsteps on the stairs above.

I jerked out of my stupor and shrank further into the shadows. Whoever had just walked down the stairs must have stopped at the bottom of the steps because I couldn't hear anything anymore. I held my breath. The shuffling footsteps started again and the spacer came into view. They paused again, back turned, and head down, and stood there for a long moment. Suddenly the figure whipped around and rushed towards me.

Jim.

Relief washed over me. He was here. I sprung up to meet him under the stairs but I couldn't find it in me to smile. Not when he looked like this.

With only half of him illuminated from the lantern in the corner, Jim stood swaying, legs wide and eyes wider. I was afraid to move closer to him, he looked like he was frozen and his eyes were unfocused. With an abrupt movement, his hand shot into his pocket and before I realized what happened, Morph exploded out, chirping and whizzing around. Like he hadn't moved at all, Jim was unfazed by his pet's excited antics, he didn't even look when the shapeshifter licked his forehead before zooming over to me.

I tried to quiet Morph as he spun around my head, pulling at my hair and chuckling in my ear. "Take it easy, little guy. Shhh! You'll wake the whole ship!" I hissed.

His dark chuckling response made me worry he would do something loud. I snatched him out of the air with my cupped hands and carefully stepped around Jim. "Look here, you rascal! See this pretty lantern? I think it likes you. Go say hi to it, go on." I poked him closer to the light source and he was immediately entranced. His eyes grew twice the size and the little creature cooed with interest as he floated down to it. I left him once he started playing with the handle, lifting it up and dropping it again, each time accompanied by a small giggle of delight.

Jim hadn't moved an inch. Worry gnawed at me, did he even know I was here? I moved until I was in front of him again. His eyes didn't even blink. "Jim?" I called softly. "What's going on?"

He shifted backward and his heel caught on on a crate behind him and he sat down on it hard. He raked a hand through his hair and while I was glad he was moving again, his face hadn't changed, it was still detached and unseeing. I was growing concerned. I walked quietly over to him and sank until I was on his level. "Hey, where are you right now?"

It looked like I had physically pulled him out of another world as his eyes finally drifted over to mine. "I'm… on a ship... that is taking everyone with it to their deaths. I'm killing them, Alice. Every spacer. It's their blood on my hands. I'm a monster." His voice didn't waver or break but it was so, so quiet. Each word felt like a dagger but I knew they weren't pointed at me. From his eyes, it looked like he was trying desperately to stay numb, to not be overwhelmed. He was in turmoil. And I was too.

He's unsure about going into the storm, that's not good. He's supposed to know what we're doing! What do we do? It's tearing him apart to hold so many lives in his hands. What advice can we give?

Before I could find a response, he kept going. "I'm a murderer, Alice. I'm no better than a pirate."

I felt like I was going to throw up. Everything he thought about himself was my truth. He was describing me and he didn't even know it, he could never know. His self-loathing hit me in waves, it should be directed at me but it wasn't. That only made me feel sicker. Jim was worried about blood on his hands but I already had a ship's worth and more on mine. I was dripping with it. I was shaking so hard my ankles gave out underneath me and I collapsed onto the floor. Jim never once looked away from my eyes. I was sweating. Could he see my panic? Could he hear my heart thundering in my chest, the roaring in my ears? What could I do?

"Don't say that," I could barely catch my breath. "Don't say that. That's not true, trust me." Say something else! "You're not like a pirate, I would know." Literally.

Pain flashed in his eyes but he pushed it away again. I continued, which wasn't hard because all I had to do was describe myself. "Those scum only care about themselves. They would do anything, no matter how harmful, to live another day. They don't care for others the way you do. They aren't honest, noble, or kind like you are. They aren't, can't, be good people because they would stab you in the back in an instant if they thought it would benefit them. Pirates are the worst people in that universe but you are not one of them. Please trust me, Jim, I know this all too well. This crew loves and trusts you. They are following because they want to, otherwise, they wouldn't be on this mission at all."

For the first time, he broke down and I could see the guilt and remorse written all over his body. His elbows had been braced on his knees and now he let his head fall into his hands so I couldn't see his face anymore. He was gasping and his shoulders shook with each harsh breath. I didn't know what to do, I still felt like I was going to vomit. After a quick second, I reached my hand out to touch his leg in some sort of attempt to comfort him but my fingers had only just brushed across his leg when Jim started and he scrambled off the crate. He wasn't crying and he looked so pale in the lantern light. He ran both hands through his hair and kept them there, holding his head as he paced back and forth. There wasn't much room for him to walk because of the scattered supplies and he was close to hitting his head on the stairs above us.

His voice was tight and high-pitched with panic but he wasn't yelling quite yet. "Alice, I'm killing them! I'm killing them, I'm killing them, I'm killing them! Alice, I'm killing them, I'm killing you! I'm killing them…" His eyes grew wider and wider and his steps quickened. He was working himself into a frenzy.

I stumbled to my feet but before I could reach him, his head connected with the stairs that formed our ceiling. Smack! He groaned in pain and finally stopped moving. That gave me the opportunity I needed to fly over to him and wrap my arms around his chest as tight as I possibly could. He was still shaking violently and his whole body was rigid so I squeezed tighter. He gasped a few more times before slowly wrapping his arms around me. I felt his body relax slightly with the movement. I buried my head in his shoulder and I felt him bury his face in my hair, still breathing sharply.

"You're not killing us," I mumbled into his shoulder. That caused him to hiccup and shake more and he squeezed me tighter. "We can make it through. People have before, we can make it. I trust you."

A strangled sob escaped him and his first tear hit my head. "Alice…" He sounded like he was pleading with me, for what I did not know. Forgiveness? "Alice, I don't want to lose anyone, they could die. I could never live with myself if anyone got hurt because of me. If you got hurt..." He hiccuped again.

"Stop, you're not hurting me. You never have and I know you never will." I hope. "It's okay, you're okay. I know you can get us through this." He twitched one last time before going completely limp as if something I said eased the tension in his mind and body. He was suddenly very heavy to keep hugging. "Here, follow me."

He looked exhausted and grief-stricken when I pulled away from him, quite different from how I first saw him. I wrapped myself around his upper arm and he leaned into me as I guided him over to the lantern area. A smile touched my lips as I saw Morph fast asleep on top of the warm lantern. His tiny little snores told me he was happily enjoying the heat. Without the concern of bothering Morph or having him bother us, I quickly stooped down and grabbed the blanket. I swung it over Jim's shoulders. He swayed with the motion. Frowning, I gently pushed him over to the wall and he took the cue to slide into a sitting position. I sat next to him and let him slump against me. He still shook every once in a while but he seemed a bit better, if not emotionally spent.

"Have you felt like this all day?" I spoke in low tones because I didn't want to startle either Jim or Morph.

Jim nodded. "There's no one else I can tell. I can't show that I'm like this to anyone else and it feels like I'm living a lie. Alice, everything is riding on me. I can't do it."

"No, that's not true." I stretched over to grab his hand through the blanket and squeezed it. "It's riding on the whole crew. We know what to do, don't worry. Everybody wants to imitate your confidence, that's all. You are a good captain, Jim. Please, believe me. You can do this. I trust you, you do know that, right?"

He didn't respond.

I pressed into him more. "Believe it. Other people do too. I trust you, Jim Hawkins."

His head hung low but his voice was lower. "I'm not sure you should."

It hurt me to see him like this. "Shhh, don't listen to your head, listen to me. You have never let me down. You're the best part of my life, I'd follow you anywhere. Everything will be okay, we know how to work through problems. Please stop punishing yourself, please." I was practically begging him.

He turned his head to look at me. His eyes were dark and troubled but the hint of a smile flickered across his mouth. "Okay, I'll do it for you." One of his hands appeared from under the blanket and touched my cheek, stroking it with the back of his fingers. I caught his hand in mine, pinning it against my face. Like always, he was so warm. Never once did our eyes look away, even when I shifted my head so my lips hovered over his knuckles and I kissed them, barely. A faint surprise was on his face before it broke into a soft smile. It was so good to see him smile even though it had only been this morning when he had been the one cheering me up. What a mess we were.

I didn't let his hand go, I didn't want the smile to leave his face. He stroked my cheek again with the back of his thumb. I could stay like this forever. Concern spiked in my chest when his smile suddenly faded. Had he sunk into his dark thoughts again? So soon? I searched his face for any clue as he shifted his position so he was facing me more directly. His other hand reached out to brush my hair back. Now he was holding my face with both hands and I felt warm all over. I could feel his breath on my face as he leaned closer to me. Our lips were so close together but I could feel him hesitate. I didn't. I pressed my lips into his. I felt an unknown thrill run through my body and I stayed longer, not pulling away. Safety was all I felt when he was holding me like this. We parted for a second, just long enough to make eye contact before going back in for another kiss, somehow sweeter than the last. When we finally pulled away, his smile was small but affectionate. Maybe it was because we were so tired or maybe because the mood had been so low but I wasn't feeling wild with lust or excitement like the times I had kissed the other pirates I wanted. The moment felt genuine and sweet, something I had never felt before. Jim felt closer to me and that was all I wanted.

Jim's hands slipped off my face and he found mine and we wove our fingers together. His leg had come to rest on my legs in our attempt to get closer but the pressure felt comforting and I didn't mind if it meant having him near. He looked so tired. Still smiling, he tilted his head until it was resting on the wall again. I noticed the blanket was falling off his shoulders so I broke my hands free to fix it, pulling it tighter around his neck.

I didn't really want to break the silence but I did anyway. "You should get some rest, you need it."

He grinned sleepily. "Mmm, maybe. I don't want to leave."

I knew I was blushing but I didn't care around him. "Who says you have to? You have a blanket, stay."

A yawn made his eyes water. "What about you?" He twisted around until he was in a more comfortable position.

"I'll be here. You need to sleep."

He frowned slightly. "Do you want some blanket? I don't want you… to… be cold…" He drifted off as he spoke.

I grinned and shifted so his head was resting on my shoulder. "I'm okay," I whispered. "I have my jacket and you. I'll be fine." My eyelids were getting heavy but I couldn't stop smiling. This day had been terrible but the ending was lovely. I never want to leave Jim.

My head hit my chest and I jerked awake. Everything still looked the same, Morph on the lit lantern and Jim on my shoulder, the deck still dark. I had no idea how much time had passed but I knew I was still exhausted. Jim was getting heavier by the minute. I shifted my back to find a more cozy spot and, as gently as I could, moved Jim's head off my shoulder. It was difficult to lower his head onto my lap without dropping his whole torso completely. Why was he so heavy? Finally, his head was resting on my legs and I pulled the blanket back up around his neck. He looked so much better asleep, less stressed, younger even. I brushed his hair out of his eyes, happy just being near him. I watched him breathing until my head started nodding off.

My back hurt and I was really cold. It took several seconds to remember why I was here and why Jim was sleeping on me but when I did remember, I felt stupidly happy. That was short-lived. I glanced out onto the deck and the lights had come on. Panic grabbed at my chest. How long have I been asleep?

I didn't want to wake Jim, he looked so tired. Shivering, I stripped off my jacket and folded it into a lumpy pillow. I slowly eased myself out from under his sleeping body and set him back down with my jacket under his head. I paused for a quick second to brush the hair away from his eyes before I scrambled to the entrance. Jim would have to take care of the lantern and blankets. The deck was empty and looking at the clock, it was still early. But not early enough because my control shift started four hours ago. I waited another second before stepping out on the deck. Terror clutched my heart as I heard a sound behind me. Stupid! Did someone just see you? I whirled around to see a droopy, pink blob yawning in front of my face. Morph blinked owlishly and cooed a 'good morning.'

I felt like I could smack the little thing for sneaking up on me like that. I almost had a heart attack. "Morph!" I hissed. "Don't do that to me, you pest!"

He giggled mischievously and nuzzled under my chin, tickling me.

"C'mon, you. Did you get some sleep?" He nodded and settled on my shoulder as I walked to the control cabin. "Well that makes one of us, I'm exhausted. That wall isn't exactly comfortable." The shapeshifter agreed knowingly.

I had been afraid of some terrible problem waiting for me in the cabin but I was pleasantly surprised to see everything in ship-shape. I walked over to the third panel and read some of the statistics it was displaying and Morph floated over to a particularly large, shiny lever and settled on it, big eyes following me. I laughed at him. "What? You don't have anything better to do?"

He shook his head, clearly indicating he was bored. He crossed his little pink arms, huffing. "Okay! Okay, so I'm assuming you're not going back to Jim just yet?"

The shapeshifter zipped over to me and transformed himself into a perfect replica of Jim, sprawled out and snoring. Morph's imitation made him look a lot more disheveled and sleepy. The little thing snapped back into his blob shape and cackled at the funny joke, why would he go back if Jim was asleep? He was clearly too boring for that. I chuckled at his antics, he was back to flying around the cabin in search of pretty objects to imitate. While the little scoundrel was off causing mayhem, I turned back to the panels. Though there were no current problems that needed fixing, there was plenty of work that needed to be done before the storm. Most of it was conserving power and ensuring that all connections were stable in the case of something shutting down. The concept was not hard to grasp but the details were many and quite tricky depending on the system in question.

I was struggling to condense transmissions on the comm system and enhance the volume so it could be heard over a storm when Morph started complaining of boredom and tugging at my hair. "Hey! Cut it out, Morph! I'm sorry there's nothing for you to do right now. Would you just hold on a sec?"

He scowled at me but quickly relented. I shut down the screen I was working on and turned to face the little demon. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, he was driving me crazy but I didn't know what to do with him. He was worse than a small child. How does Jim put up with him all the time? "Look, I'm busy. You can stay down here but you can't pull at my hair anymore, okay? It's distracting. Here, let's see if there's anything for you to do in this chest."

Morph chirped in excitement at the possibility and swooped ahead of me. I pulled the lid open and scanned what was inside. He needed a job to do, but what? My eyes found a stack of computing chips, they were already in order but he didn't need to know that.

"Morphy? See those chips? It's very important that they all go here, in this box. It's a pretty hard job, I don't know if you can do it…"

He cried out indignantly and puffed out his chest as if to say he was more than capable. He threw me a crisp salute and set about his task with vigor. I chuckled and went back to work.

The comm system had been finished as well as the gravity field and the cabin pressure. What was causing me great frustration and concern was the filtration system for the various engine parts. Certain parts of the machinery sucked in air to cool itself but if it got clogged by space dust, there would be problems. I had been in communication with the boys in the engine room so I knew they were installing extra filters but that meant I had to boost the power so air could be drawn in more easily. I suspected a loose wire because there was no response no matter how many times I corrected the issue from my panel screen.

I huffed and grabbed the tools I needed from Morph and pried off the grill at the bottom of the panel so I could take a look at the tangle of wires. It was an organized mess down there and I had to pull myself completely into the space under the panel so I could grab the wires in question. It felt like it was taking ages to twist a new wire into place and I was interrupted by footsteps. I glanced out at the big boots standing near me and grinned. Jim. I left what I was doing and started to wriggle my way out to meet him but I hit my head on the floor and my hair got stuck in a bundle of wires. I grunted in exasperation.

"Jeez, Alice, just stop. I'll come to you." I frowned as he dropped down to the ground and effortlessly slid underneath so he was parallel with me. Why is he so good at everything? He startled me out of my annoyance by planting a kiss on my cheek and I was blushing so hard it felt like my face was on fire. "So what are we working on?" He asked nonchalantly like he hadn't just rocked my world with his affection.

"Umm, can't increase the power to the filters from the cabin so I'm fixing this wire here." I snagged the one in question and passed it to him.

"Hmm…"

I started laughing as he frowned with concentration and curiosity, looking like he was trying to solve a puzzle. His eyes flicked over to mine. "What? Why are you doing that?"

I giggled again. "No reason." He grinned wickedly and poked at my side. I laughed and squirmed away from his touch, batting at his hand before he could jab me again. "Stop! You're the worst!"

He snickered but he studiously went back to work and ignored me. I huffed and blew the hair out of my face, watching him. Despite his hands being so big, Jim's fingers were fast and skilled, able to tweak the tiniest of details with ease. I used to think I was pretty handy at most things until I met him. Wonderboy.

"This should do it. Go ahead and try it and I'll stay down here."

"Fine, one sec. Just…" I trailed off.

"Just what?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

I flushed. "Just don't watch me crawl out. I'm not a stupidly smooth space captain who never struggles with anything so don't watch. I don't want you to laugh at me."

He barked with laughter but tried to cover it with his hand. "Sorry, what? What are you talking about?"

I glared at him and started inching my way out. He was laughing at me already. Great. "You're just so good at everything and it gets annoying. Don't smirk at me like that! It's true."

"Uh, no, it's not! I'm just good with wires, that's it." His voice was muffled now that I pulled myself out.

I rolled my eyes and tucked my shirt back into place. "Yeah, wires and circuitry and sailing and captaining-ing and saving people and rope tying-knotting stuff and stealing food and, and… there's more! Too much, in fact! So there, I'm right, you're wrong." I felt flustered and I tried to ignore him snorting in amusement as I diverted power to the panel and pulled up the screen I needed. "Okay, here we go."

I flipped the switch and heard the hum from the engine room grow louder. It worked. I grinned and powered it down again. We didn't need it at that strength until the storm hit so I reverted it to its normal range.

"Nice!" In two graceful movements, Jim swung himself out from the panel and snapped the grill back in place. He had it screwed on in a matter of seconds. He earned a second eye roll.

"Oh, here." Jim walked over to the spiral staircase and picked something up. "Here's your jacket, you didn't have to."

It was nice to have a second layer on, I had been cold all morning. "It's okay. How did you sleep?"

He flushed and ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment. "Great, actually. Maybe the best all week. Were you able to sleep at all?"

"A little, don't worry about it." He grimaced so I hastily added, "Hey, it was better than on that raining-never-dry planet a few nights ago so that's good." I was hesitant to ask but it felt like the right time. "Do you… do you feel better today? About leading?"

A cloud passed over his face but he tried to scrub it away with his hands before replying. "I think so. And speaking of, I should probably go."

He started to move away but I caught him in a quick hug. "I trust you."

I felt him sigh as he hugged me back. "Thanks. C'mon Morph!" Then he dashed up the stairs with the blob behind him. Not that I believed in any particular faith but I prayed the day would treat him well.

Jim had fixed the filter system for me so my job there was done and I moved onto the next problem: making sure that the solar sails started storing up extra energy now so we would have engine power if the storm cut off our sunlight. We would need a quick getaway and that can be hard if the sails are furled for safety. Now one would think a ship of this size should always be storing energy if needed for an emergency but it puts an immense amount of strain on the power systems. The ship had limited battery storage that wasn't constantly being used for various needs throughout the vessel. It could put the whole ship at risk for shorting out if too much energy was kept in the system without releasing it somehow. It was a very delicate business figuring out how much power we could store without sinking the ship. It was making me sweat. I would have to get Mari's opinion because I wasn't as used to this galleon as I was with my old tub of a ship. That thing could barely hold any power and I received more than a few beating and a couple of whippings for crashing the energy system and causing the ship to go dark. It was usually only after being drop-kicked that they made me fix the problem, and more than not, my life was on the line.

I rubbed my stomach ruefully at the memory and was very relieved when the breakfast bell rang. Again, the deck felt too quiet and heavy but the mess hall had a brighter air. I think sleeping on the problem had calmed some nerves. Even Adri gave me a small smile when I sat down. Jim was at the far end of the table but I didn't miss the subtle wink he sent my way. So he must be feeling better. Good. The mood was slightly lighter than before and I lost myself in my thoughts and Blamey and Owen's conversation.

It turned out Blamey didn't need me in the hold and Mariano had the morning off to help me in the control cabin. All of us left the table at the same time and went our separate ways in grim determination.

Please tell me your thoughts! Too cheesy or unclear? Let me know!