Chapter 21
It wasn't the same. She couldn't relax.
Her whole body felt stiff and unnatural, with her lips feeling alien, and her body painfully awkward. She felt self-conscious of every move she made, not knowing where to place her hands, or if she should even attempt at touching below his waist.
It didn't help that she was in nothing but her underwear whilst he still had his trousers on, the fabric uncomfortable against her bare legs. Yet, she also didn't want to ask him to take them off, because that would mean acknowledging his penis, which was a terrifying thought in itself. Was it a bad sign he hadn't stripped yet?
He had been the one to undress her, practically ripping her clothes off and discarding them like trash on the floor. His lips had replaced the material, kissing every inch of skin with hunger and desperation, as though she was something to be worshipped and savoured.
But now his lips were bored. She knew it and he knew it.
She only had herself to blame. What in the world had possessed her to stop him? The kissing had been divine, like the kind of kissing you see in the movies. And then she had straddled his waist, and it turned into the type of kissing she read about in adult-fiction novels. The type that causes you to blush and feel giddy between the legs.
And just as she let herself get swept off her feet a tiny voice in the back of her mind told her that he only wanted to sleep with her. Nothing more. He wasn't feeling swept away, or like a movie character, and this certainly wasn't his first rodeo. He barely even liked her, the idea of calling her a friend humours to him. Moreover, she needed to remind herself that she didn't like him. He could be horrible, arrogant, selfish, difficult.
But she still wanted to sleep with him.
As she fiddled with his button, she had scanned her brain for any pros she could come up with to counteract the cons. Firstly, she needed the experience if she was ever going to compete with slutty Lavender Brown. Secondly, he knew what he was doing so would make a good teacher. And lastly, if she didn't sleep with him so knew she would be wondering what it felt like for the rest of her life.
"You're not enjoying this, are you?" she said whilst pulling away, thankful the darkness concealed her utter embarrassment. She had warned him she'd be bad.
He sighed, the magnitude of it causing the whole bed to vibrate, and he rolled onto his back with his hands tucked underneath his head. He'd spring up any moment now, probably throwing a rude or humiliating statement towards her as he left, just as he had done last time.
"You're thinking too much and it's killing the mood."
"I can't just turn my brain off. I don't know what to do, or where to put my hands, or how I'm supposed to...touch you. Look, I warned you I was inexperienced, and that I'd be rubbish, so I'm sorry I'm not like all the other girls you've been with but-"
"I'm not a fucking whore, Granger, don't make it out as I've slept with half of Hogwart's."
They lay in silence, both staring vacantly at the ceiling, and she wondered how long he'd take to leave. She wouldn't even blame him at this point, having successfully ruined the night, thus leaving her to wonder what was going to happen to their dynamic. Would he even tutor her anymore? She didn't think she could look him in the eye again from sheer embarrassment, let alone sit with him for hours.
"I've got an idea. So you feel awkward and don't know what to do with yourself, and keep overthinking how to reciprocate, right?"
"I wouldn't phrase it so harshly, I have had sex before, I just-"
"it's a simple yes or no answer."
She huffed, not liking how blunt he was being, but also realising that she was coming across very defensive.
"Yes, I suppose so."
"So what if you just don't do anything and let your mind go blank whilst I'll make you cum. Then you'll be relaxed and wet and we'll take it from there."
He said it so casually, as though he offered girls orgasms every day of the week. As though it was the most normal and easy thing to give. Hermione heard the word cum and couldn't tell if she wanted to hide under her pillow or say 'take me I'm yours'.The best idea to ever fall from his lips, but also not sure how the mechanics of it was going to work. She'd never finished because of somebody else before.
"Um, yes, I mean yes that sounds good." she swallowed, the words barely making any sense, her mind suddenly scrambled.
"Come closer and face away from me," she complied, turning around and scooting back. She didn't know how this was going to work, but felt slightly more comfortable knowing he couldn't see her tomato face and nervous expression. Wait, had he asked her to turn around so he didn't have to look at her?
He scooped her hair to the side, tucking it under her head so he had access to her neck, and placed a gentle kiss.
"Push yourself into me," he whispered against her ear, and she felt his tongue trail against her earlobe before returning. Her neck was the goldmine, the skin so sensitive and receptive that even the lightest of touches caused her body to shiver, and her mouth to moan. He had clearly worked this out, gently sucking and kissing whilst his fingers toyed with the edge of her pants.
This felt good. This felt really, really good. She especially liked how she could close her eyes and focus on each spot he was touching, hyperaware of how his thumb was rubbing circular motions against the fabric. Every circle made the fabric brush up against her clit, the sensation like a spark and flutter combined into one.
"You like that?" his voice was so low and raspy, which was ridiculously arousing, and she moaned a yes without even realising.
His fingers pulled the material to the side then rubbed a slow and teasing line down the folds, his fingers sliding effortlessly because of how wet she was. She couldn't help but gasp, her body responding to his touch by itself, being able to focus on nothing but Draco Malfoys fingers.
"Omg Malfoy, that feels so good."
His thumb found her clit even quicker than she sometimes found it, rubbing with expertise and obvious knowledge on how to please a girl. He set the tempo slow at first, waiting for her to wriggle her hips to increase the speed, and she began to feel a tension forming in the pit of her stomach.
The concept of time had slipped away, and for all she knew he could have been pleasuring her for seconds or hours.
She could feel him hard and throbbing behind her, his erection poking up and grinding against her ass in the rhythm he was rubbing. If she wasn't so caught up in the moment, she probably would have seized up at the contact, only instead she pushed her hips back into him.
"Draco I'm so close. I'm so close please," she was begging him to go faster, only she couldn't form the right words, and instead hoped he would read between the lines and give her what she wanted. No, needed.
"Cum for me," it was an order, a growl, both completely lost in each other as he rapidly rubbed from side to side, feeling her legs seize and her pelvic spasm forward. An explosion of emotion, and tension, and pure vibrant intensity. She felt colours burst through her body, and wetness trickle down her thigh onto the bed. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. Holy fuck.
She screwed her eyes shut and basked in the glory, riding the wave for as long as she could. It had felt eutrophic and overwhelmingly intense, far better than whenever she did it to herself.
The dip of the bed from Malfoy bought her back to earth, acting as a reminder that she was not alone thus couldn't just drift into a europhic slumber. What was she meant to say to him, was she meant to thank him? Was there a way to express her gratitude without sounding awkward and creepy?
Because 'thank you for giving me an orgasm' sounded cringe and slightly creepy. Was she supposed to offer to do the same to him, or would he just climb on top and stick it in?
She heard the creak of a floorboard and rolled around to see Malfoy standing by the side of her bed, doing up his buttons and smoothing tufts of static hair. He walked to the mirror, checking himself before turning to face her and make his leaving statement. She wondered if she had done something wrong - perhaps the noises she made had put him off, or not making a move as soon as she finished had been a poor judgement of choice. Either way, watching him get ready to leave made her feel uneasy and nauseated, a juxtaposition to the pure bliss she had felt only a minute earlier.
"I'm not really the stay and spoon kind of guy. Plus, you'll thank me for it in the morning, realising you don't have to make awkward chit chat."
"I didn't think you'd spend the night, but I thought we were going to...you know... finish the job."
"You seemed rather satisfied Granger, I don't know why you're complaining."
"I'm not complaining I just-" she paused, not knowing how to phrase the sentence. She was very satisfied, with his actions having been completely selfless - something she didn't think he was capable of.
"I just want to know if I did something wrong?"
His expression changed from a neutral one into something she couldn't read, his eyebrows scrunching into themselves whilst he frowned a little. His eyes clouded over, looking past her instead of at her until he turned abruptly and walked to the door.
"No, nothing wrong. You were divine."
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