The look on Emma's face made Regina feel even more stumped. And a little uneasy too. What could possibly have happened to make Emma look like that? Wasn't it just the mechanic calling her? How could that possibly be that upsetting? Unless something serious had happened to the little yellow Bug. Maybe the engine had broken down for good?
But something told Regina that it had to be more than that. Emma wouldn't be white as a sheet 'just' because of the engine breaking down. She also wouldn't be chewing her lip and look this anxious. It had to be more than that.
In an attempt to solve this mystery, Regina tore off another post-it note and wrote down a question for Emma. 'Is everything okay?'. Then she looked at Emma again. She was still chewing her lip and her green eyes flickered.
Regina was starting to get properly worried now. She leaned forward and gently touched Emma's hand.
Emma's head snapped up, and Regina was quick to withdraw her hand. She could recognize someone flinching when she saw it. Instead of attempting to touch Emma again, she reached for the note and pushed it towards Emma.
Emma quickly read the note and ran her fingers through her hair. "No, not really," she said quietly. "That was my mechanic calling. My car's been vandalized."
What? Vandalized? At Malena's parking lot? In front of Malena's company? It sounded almost impossible. And absolutely terrible too! Regina frowned deeply and felt incredibly angry on Emma's behalf. Her Bug! Her sweet little adorable Bug that was so brightly yellow! Who the hell could even think of vandalizing that?!
"I can't believe it," Emma said and shook her head. "I didn't leave it unattended for that long. And it wasn't even standing abandoned somewhere. It was left on Dragon Publishing's parking lot, for crying out loud! I have to call Sheriff Graham. And Malena." She sighed again, clearly frustrated. Shook her head slightly. "Is there any chance I coax you into giving me a ride back to Dragon Publishing? I have to get to the bottom of this."
Of course. Regina was actually just about to offer it. She quickly nodded and emptied her coffee cup in one go.
"Thank you," Emma said, emptying her own cup of coffee and then wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "I really appreciate that."
Nothing to talk about, really, Regina was only happy to help Emma out. But she still accepted the gratitude and gave a short nod as she smiled. Then she rose from the chair. After a second, Emma did the same, and together they left Eugenia's Inn and walked towards Regina's black Mercedes. Regina was silently seething with anger that someone would vandalize Emma's car. In her opinion, people who vandalized cars were brainless idiots.
They entered the car. Buckled their seatbelts and off they went. Regina couldn't help but side eye Emma every so often. She looked so concerned. And... and scared. Yes. Scared. Regina felt a flicker of anxiety. And pity. It wasn't fair that someone had spooked Emma like this. Regina was pissed for two reasons. The number one of course being that someone had scared Emma. And the second reason was that this had interrupted their date. Ruined the chance of telling Emma the truth. Regina couldn't possibly tell Emma her grim secret now. The timing was terrible!
"I'm really sorry I've ruined our date," Emma muttered.
What? Oh, no, no, no! This was not Emma's fault. Definitely not! Regina shook her head firmly.
"I have," Emma insisted, voice small. "We were supposed to eat pie and drink coffee and have a good time. Not drive back and forward. I'm sorry."
Regina shook her head firmly once more. Wished that there was something she could have said to make Emma realize that she had no reason to feel guilty. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Emma grimace.
"And I'm also really sorry for blabbering like this when you have absolutely no chance of communicating back to me. I'm panicking a little. I always ramble when I'm panicking. Sorry about that."
Oh dear. Emma was in quite the state over this. Poor thing. If she had not been driving, Regina definitely would have reached out and touched Emma's hand to show her support. Now she had to settle for shaking her head once more. And curse the fact that she could not speak. She couldn't offer any words of comfort, and more than ever, she cursed this damn condition her monster of an ex-fiancé had left her with. But she was itching to comfort Emma. So much she stopped thinking about safe driving for a moment. She moved one hand away from the wheel and put it lightly over Emma's. She felt Emma shift next to her. Knew that she was looking at her. Could see out of the corner of her eye that Emma was smiling at her. Without taking her eyes off the road, Regina smiled and hoped that Emma would understand that she was trying her best to comfort her in a silent manner.
"This was not how I had imagined to spend our date," Emma said plainly as Regina moved her hand away once more.
Regina shrugged lightly. Nor was it the way she imagined this to play out, but sometimes plans changed.
"I'll do better next time," Emma said, adopting a casual tone. "Next time we won't be interrupted by a crazy vandal."
Oh, bless her. She was really trying to appear unaffected by this. Regina quirked an eyebrow in pretense amusement because she could sense that that was how Emma wanted her to react. If it made Emma feel any better, she was more than willing to play along. People coped with difficult situations in different ways, and dry humor was clearly Emma's way of coping. That was actually good to know, Regina thought to herself. She would bear that in mind in the future.
She quelled a little sigh. Didn't want Emma to hear her. But truthfully, Regina was quite disappointed. She had felt so brave for a moment. So completely ready to tell Emma the truth about how she lost her voice. And then the moment had been taken from her. Who knew, maybe she wouldn't feel as brave again anytime soon. Regina didn't need many excuses to stick her metaphorical tail between her legs and decide that telling Emma was not a good idea.
She chewed the inside of her cheek and glanced discreetly at Emma once more. She was sitting and looking out of the window. Her right foot was bouncing up and down. A clear sign of anxiety. Regina wondered if Emma even was aware that she was doing it, or if she had disappeared into her own little world completely. Oh, if only Regina could have said something. Anything. 'I'm sorry about your car', or 'I'm sorry that some people thinks its funny to destroy something another person cherishes', or 'I can see that you are worried about something. Can you please tell me what it is? I want to help you.' Regina swallowed something. It had to be terribly frustrating for Emma, spending time with a mute woman and never knowing what she was thinking.
But it was also terribly frustrating for Regina to look at Emma and not being able to ASK her. Regina had so many questions right now, and she couldn't ask a single one of them because she was driving and needed her hands for that and not talking.
It was almost a relief when Emma nodded towards the radio and asked: "can I switch it on?"
Regina nodded eagerly. Oh god yes, please do!
Emma switched on the radio which was permanently on the 'nostalgia' channel. On this particular afternoon, Julee Cruise's soft and sweet voice worked as a soundboard in the car:
'The nightingale,
It said to me...
There is a love,
Meant for me!
The Nightingale,
It flew to me...
And told me,
That it found my love...'
"You like Julee Cruise?" Emma guessed.
Regina nodded. She loved Julee Cruise.
"And Twin Peaks?"
Another nod. Was it even possible to love one and not the other, Regina wondered. She had been an incarnated Twin Peaks fan for quite a while. Her dear father had loved Twin Peaks. He had actually been quite the geek about it, and he and Regina had watched the series together many, many times. As late as only two days before he unexpectedly passed. A highly pregnant and extremely shocked Regina had been rushed to the hospital because Malena, whom had been with her at the time, had feared that the shock would cause her to miscarry. Regina clearly remembered how she had curled up in the enormous hospital bed and listened to Julee Cruise while crying her eyes out.
Regina felt an unexpected lump in her throat. Perhaps thinking about the death of her father was not the best thing. She cleared her throat.
"You okay?" Emma asked concerned.
She nodded quickly and smiled reassuringly. Yes, she was okay. Just getting a little sentimental for whatever reason. Strange. Perhaps her period was on her way or something like that. Her father's passing always seemed a little extra cruel on those days.
'My heart flies,
With the nightingale..
Through the night,
All across the world.'
"Can't remember the last time I watched Twin Peaks," Emma said. "Bob used to scare the shit out of me!"
Ah yes. Bob. The longhaired beast who killed Laura Palmer. Regina too had been afraid of him.
Until her nightmares changed.
Until she realized that fictional demons wasn't really the thing she should be afraid of. There were worse things that actors climbing over a couch while grinning menacingly.
When they reached Dragon Publishing's parking lot, Regina spotted Graham and a couple of officers. They were taking pictures and dusting for fingerprints, and Regina felt that swirl of anxiety again. Pictures and fingerprints because of vandalism? Of course vandalism was a serious thing, but she had never heard of officers dusting for fingerprints 'just' because of vandalism. Something else had to be afoot.
But this very much looked to be more than simple vandalism. Regina could not believe what she was seeing. Some ridiculous twat had thrashed Emma's car. All four tires were flat, and the yellow paint had been severely damaged. Someone had actually keyed the words 'WATCH YOUR BACK' onto the side of the car.
Regina was furious. Who the hell would do this kind of thing?!
They exited the car and went over to Graham and his officers. Regina stayed in the background. The sight of the uniformed officers made her nervous. Not because she was afraid of the police, but their uniforms and batons reminded her of Killian and the nights where he had ran his police baton up and down her naked back. She had asked him why he had done it, but he had merely laughed and repeated the action. He had never struck her with it, but his reason for running the baton up and down her back had been so obvious. He wanted her to know that he could strike her with it if she did not do his bidding.
"Oh my god," Emma muttered and shook her head.
"Yes, whoever it is, is certainly escalating," Graham nodded. "And obviously wore gloves for this."
"Right. Of course he did," Emma muttered.
'Whoever it is, is certainly escalating'? Regina frowned. What did that even mean? What was it that Graham was implying?
"We're just waiting for Malena Drake to show up so we can go through the security footage. And find out where the hell the security staff were," Graham said tightly and glanced over Emma's shoulder. "Hello, Regina."
Regina gave a quick nod and a brief smile. She continued to stay in the background while Emma and Graham spoke. She noted that Graham looked quite serious, and once again she wondered what on earth was going on. Was it possible that there was something Emma had not told her? Something bad. That threatening message someone had written on the side of Emma's car almost looked... personal.
Regina's stomach tied in knots, and although she did not know what was going on, she had this unyielding sense of dread and horror somewhere in the pit of her stomach. Her well-trained fight or flight instinct had kicked in, and she mostly just wanted to drive away as quickly as possible.
But she could not do that. She couldn't just leave Emma in this difficult situation. She had to stick by her and support her as best as she could. That was the sort of thing you did for someone you really liked.
That was when a flashy, red Ferrari came speeding round the corner. It stopped with a screech in the parking lot, and one furious looking Malena came tumbling out of the car. She slammed the car door shut behind her and came marching over to them. Her stiletto heels clacked against the ground. Her mouth was a thin line, and her crystal blue eyes were flashing dangerously. No doubt she was furious about what had happened in her parking lot. Just outside HER emporium. Regina knew that Malena would take this personally. She had always been fiercely protective of her employees.
"What the hell is going on?!" she demanded as she looked at Graham.
"That's what we're trying to find out," Graham said patiently.
"Well, I'm certainly as curious as you are," Malena said sarcastically and folded her arms across her chest. "I've just spoken to the head of security, and he swore he wasn't aware that there was an unwelcome guest here." she scoffed. "He is so fired! As are the rest of them."
Emma managed a meek chuckle.
"Would it be possible to take a look at your security footage from this afternoon?" Graham asked her.
"Certainly," Malena said tightly. "Follow me."
And so they did. Regina kept in the background once more, but Malena still turned her head and flashed her a little smile in greeting.
Regina hesitantly returned the smile. Well. This was certainly not how she had imagined to meet Malena a third time. She had envisioned their third meeting to play out quite differently. But then again, nothing about this day was going as Regina had planned. Had things gone accordingly to Regina's plan, she and Emma would be sitting at 'their' table at Eugenia's Inn. Perhaps Regina would have told Emma the truth by now. Perhaps Emma would have taken her hand by now. Would Regina have minded that? No, she wasn't so sure of that. She rather liked holding Emma's hand. Emma's hand was soft. If she kept practicing, holding Emma's hand could become quite the natural thing.
Damn shame that jerk had to vandalize Emma's car. Regina still felt so angry for Emma's sake, and she couldn't believe that someone could do that to the sweet little yellow Bug. What was even the point in vandalizing? To get a thrill out of it? Well. If the person responsible for this met Emma and saw how upset she was, they surely would feel bad about the crime they had committed. Regina hoped that Graham and his officers would be able to locate the idiot. And she hoped that Emma would tell her if something was going on. Exactly like Regina had been planning on telling.
They ended up in Malena's office. It had been quite a while since Regina last was here, but the place had not changed one bit since the last time. Still extravagant. Still filled with figurines of the dragons she loved so much. It even looked like a few more had joined the family of dragons since the last time.
But looking at dragons was not what they were here to do. Malena switched on the screen so they could go through the security footage. And then Malena reached inside one of her cabinets and found a bottle of scotch. A clear sign that she was stressed. Malena always kept a small bottle of scotch in her cabinet for 'emergencies'. She Graham a glass, but he politely declined, saying that he was on duty, so she settled for pouring the golden liquid into three glasses. One for Emma, one for herself, and one for Regina.
Regina raised an eyebrow. She was driving, after all.
But Malena merely scoffed as she thrusted the glass inside Regina's hand. "It's five o'clock somewhere. Have a drink with us, kitt-"
Regina raised an eyebrow at the near slip up. Kitten. It had been a while since Malena had called her that. Was she really that rattled?
"Regina," Malena hastily amended. "Have a drink with us, Regina."
Regina accepted the glass of scotch. Then she turned her attention to the screen and the security footage from today. The security staff was watching back and forward in the parking lot. Fairly normal. And at the same time, not quite. Malena wouldn't normally have that much security in the parking lot, would she? Regina kept her eyes on the screen as she saw the time pass. She saw Emma come into the parking lot and climb inside the car. Saw her obvious annoyance when the car refused to start. Then she saw Emma look under the hood of the car. Saw her find her phone. Started to text. Regina knew that Emma had to have been texting her then, and she was immediately struck by the smile on Emma's face. Was she really smiling that much whenever she was texting her? Some of the anxiety melted away, and she took a small sip of her scotch as she watched Emma call her mechanic to inform him of the problem and then proceed to walk back and forward to keep warm. After a moment, she saw her own car come into the parking lot. Saw herself get out of the car and frowned slightly. Was that really how she carried herself? She wasn't so sure she liked that. But she did like the way Emma smiled. She could see it even on the slightly grainy image on the screen. Regina took another sip of her scotch and did not pay much attention to the screen. She knew what was coming. Malena would come over and greet her and then drive away.
Then her greeting with Emma. The awkward arm touch, and then they climbed into Regina's car and drove off like Malena.
"Here we go," Graham muttered. "It can't be long before our guy arrives."
That turned out to be absolutely correct. After only about a minute or so, Regina saw a man emerge on the screen. She was certain it was a man. He was too tall to be a woman. And the way he carried himself revealed him too. Unfortunately, he had his back to the camera, so seeing his face was impossible, and what's more, he was dressed in Dragon Publishing's official security clothes and was walking around on the parking lot as though he was patrolling the area.
"But that's just a member of the security staff," Emma commented and took another swig of her scotch. She had been doing that a lot. Poor thing. She was visibly nervous.
"Wait," Graham said plainly.
And so they waited once more. Saw another member of the security staff come out of the building. He chatted with the other guy for a few minutes, and then he disappeared into a car and drove away.
The guy in the parking lot waited for a few minutes, walked around as though he was patrolling the area, and then once the last member of security emerged from the building and drove off in his car, everything about the guy in the parking lot changed. His body language went from relaxed and friendly to threatening and intimidating. Still with his back to the camera on the building, he reached back under his security jacket and pulled a hoodie over his head.
Malena started cussing as they witnessed the man walk directly over to Emma's car. He pulled out a small knife and started to more or less hack away at the tires until they punctured.
Regina's heart leapt into her throat the display of violence, and she was starting to feel properly sick as she saw the man use the tip of his knife to carve the threat into the side of Emma's car.
Graham rubbed a hand over his face. "He was posing as a member of the security staff."
Malena cursed again. "I don't understand how it's possible! How could I not have noticed-"
"It's nobody's fault," Emma said quickly.
Regina stood stock still with the glass of scotch clutched in her hand as she saw the man walk away from the parking lot. He wasn't running. He was almost strolling. Or prancing. As though he was proud. Regina's stomach tied in knots again. There was something about that walk. Something she could not pinpoint, but at the same time she was certain that this walk was familiar to her. That she had seen it before somewhere. Her mind was not playing tricks on her this time. She had definitely seen this type of walk before. But where? Where, where, where? Oh, why couldn't she remember it?!
"I agree," Graham said. "But the bottom line is that we still don't know who this bastard is. Because I doubt he's been around for the whole day. My guess is that he snuck in, stole an extra uniform and then blended in."
"That sounds very likely," Malena snarled. "I've recently hired new security people."
"Why did he have to wear that damn hoodie?!" Graham said and his jaw clenched.
Regina shifted uncomfortably. There was still something tickling in the back of her mind. Something she felt like she HAD to remember, but nevertheless couldn't grasp. It kept slipping away from her. Damnit. She was certain that it was something important.
"I've already contacted local police in Forest Hill," Graham said. "Your adoptive parents have a very solid alibi. None of them were nowhere near Vancouver when this happened."
What? Why would Emma's adoptive parents be behind this? And what was 'this' even? Regina glanced at Emma. There was definitely something she was not telling her.
"Could they have hired someone to do this?" Emma asked Graham and bit her lip.
Hired someone? To vandalize her car? But why? And why did Emma sound so calm about it?
"In theory, yes," Graham said, looking very serious. "Can you think of anyone who would be willing to perform such an act for them? Someone they're close to, like a family member or a close friend?"
This was getting more and more strange, Regina thought. What was this, a mafia movie? What kind of people were Emma's adoptive parents even?!
Well..." Emma took another gulp of her scotch. She was actually starting to act a bit like her life depended on it. "There is Leopold White. My adoptive mother's uncle."
"Leopold White," Graham muttered as he jotted the name down in his little black book.
"Yeah, but he doesn't..." Emma did not finish the sentence. Instead she bit her lip, and Regina shot her a sideways glance. Doesn't what?
"He doesn't what, miss Swan?" Graham asked patiently.
"He doesn't drive the right car," Emma said almost a bit defeatedly and took another large swig of her drink.
Impressive. Malena's drinks had always been exceptionally strong. Regina could not drink anymore. Mainly because she was concerned and wanted to keep a clear head. What did it mean that Leopold White didn't drive the right car?
"Yeah, I've been followed home from work once," Emma admitted. "And I've seen the same car twice in the parking lot here."
"Why on earth didn't you tell me?!" Graham said exasperated.
Regina felt utterly shocked. Had Emma been followed home from work?! Why hadn't she told her this? Had she known, Regina would have done anything in her power to help Emma!
"I thought it was a coincidence at first," Emma replied and sounded very apologetic. She used her free hand to push a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "The first time it happened, I thought it could just have been someone who was lost and trying to find his way back by following me or something. I managed to shake him off, so I didn't think too much about it. And the first time I saw the car here, it was so brief. Literally. I saw the car out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't even completely sure whether I had seen it or not, you know?" she squeezed the glass of scotch a little tighter in her hand. "And the second time I saw the car here, I also saw the guy walking around my car. I suppose he was trying to do what he did to my car today but got scared off by security. And I... I guess I didn't tell you because nothing happened and I knew that security would be patrolling the parking lot regularly, so I guess I felt safe. I was certain he had been scared away when he saw the security come running out on the parking lot."
"I see," Graham nodded.
"I wish I had told you after I had seen the car in my rearview mirror the first time," Emma said bitterly.
Forget about Graham. Regina wished Emma had told her. How long had this even been going on? The way Emma spoke of it, made it sound so extensive!
"is there any chance you got a proper look of this car? Can you remember the license plate? Color, type, anything?" Graham asked and held the pencil ready to write it down.
"I didn't get a chance to see the license plate," Emma muttered. She took a breath, and when she spoke again, she frantically rambled in that way Regina knew she was prone to doing when she was nervous: "and I don't know anything about the car except that it's a grey station car, but that's not a lot to go on, and also I don't understand the endgame in all this, I mean stealing my library card? What the hell is that about?"
What indeed? Regina was starting to feel more and more nauseous. That... that thing tickled at her brain again.
"Your library card?" Graham asked and frowned deeply. "You haven't mentioned anything about a stolen library card before, Emma."
"I know," Emma admitted and rubbed a hand over her cheek. "I didn't notice it until almost a week after the break-in in my room, and it was such a random thing to steal, so I didn't think much of it, to be honest. I just found it annoying."
"I see," Graham said sternly. "Was anything else taken from your room?"
"Yeah," Emma said and almost laughed at the absurdity as her frustration took over and she started rambling once more: "and can you please explain to me why the hell the intruder would chose that of all things when my laptop was literally right there?! Because I sure as hell don't understand why anyone would be interested in nicking a stack of written post-it messa-"
Oh god.
Oh no.
Not that.
Anything but that.
Please no.
The breath hitched in Regina's throat as everything suddenly came together and made sense in the most horrible way imaginable.
The glass of scotch slipped from her hands, but she barely noticed it.
The characteristic walk she was certain she had seen somewhere.
The threat scratched into Emma's car.
The stolen post-it notes.
There was a reason she felt like she could remember that walk.
Because she could.
There was a reason the threating message on Emma's car felt particularly frightening.
'Watch your back!'. That was exactly what Liam had uttered in the courtroom when his brother was convicted of rape, battery and attempted murder and was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Regina had been told so by Zelena who had been present in the courtroom on Regina's behalf. 'Watch your back' were the infamous words that had landed Liam with several restraining orders. Because of the threats he had made to 'finish the job' for his brother, the judge had forbidden him to come anywhere near Regina, Henry and Zelena. And Liam had not violated the restraining order. Not once.
But there was no rules for Emma Swan.
And Liam had been determined to hurt Regina. If not directly, then through others. And that was what he was doing right now. It had to be him. Regina was sure of it. She recognized his walk. She recognized the car Emma had described. And the fact that he had stolen the post-it messages. He had been looking for a proof. And he had found one.
It took everything in Regina to force herself to snap out of it. She noticed the golden lake the dropped glass of scotch had left on Malena's cream carpet, and she quickly bend down to fix the mess she had made.
So did Malena, but Regina held up her hand and then quickly picked up the tiny little shards of glass. She dumped them in Malena's trashcan. But there was not much she could do about the sea of scotch on the carpet.
"Never mind that," Malena said quickly. "I'll get that later. Did you cut yourself?"
Regina shook her head and found her phone in her pocket. She had to get out of here. Right now. Before she threw up on the floor. With fingers that trembled, she hastily wrote a message on her phone ('I'm afraid I have to go now. I had forgotten that I have plans later.'), and showed it to Emma.
"Oh, okay," Emma said after having read the message. She sounded a bit apologetic, but right now Regina was unable to focus on anything else except the thing she had just realized.
Regina quickly typed on her phone once more. 'Can you get home on your own?', was the question she showed to Emma. And she hoped that the answer would be yes. The idea of driving in the same car as Emma was too much.
"Yeah," Emma nodded. "I can probably get a ride from Graham."
Thank god. Regina gave the briefest of nods, mashed the phone back in her purse and then spun around on her heels and headed towards the door. She had to get out of here right now and chose to ignore Emma when she called "text me later?"
There would be no texting. Not any longer. She could not do this. Not like this. Regina fled out of the door, down the hallway where she chose the staircase rather than the elevator. The thought of being boxed in in a small room was making her feel sick to her stomach.
She almost tripped on the stairs.
Almost.
But would she even have been capable of feeling it if she had fallen and hurt herself? Probably not.
She felt so numb. So beside herself.
And she had to get out of this building.
She made it out of the build, but it was not quite enough. The parking lot was now a place of danger. The ghosts of her past was still here. A man who openly had threatened to hurt her had been here. And he was still trying to hurt her.
Trying to hurt Emma.
But Regina would not let him.
If she removed herself from Emma's life, Liam would have no reason to pursue Emma.
It would be better like that. Much better.
Emma deserved to be with someone who did not come with a dangerous past.
Regina threw herself inside her car and sped up. The tires squealed.
She made it exactly two miles before she had to pull over. It felt like something heavy was sitting on her chest. She couldn't breathe.
Regina stumbled out of the car.
Staggered over to the ditch.
Dropped to her knees.
Threw up.
Twice.
This was her fault.
She was the one Liam wanted to hurt.
But Emma was the one who was taking all the blows.
She had been followed.
Her beautiful little yellow car had been vandalized.
And who knew what other things Liam Jones would be capable of?
He was a dangerous man.
Every bit as bad as his brother.
And if Killian was capable of hurting someone so gruesomely...
So was Liam.
Regina had only narrowly escaped death that night.
Killian had had the intention to kill her.
He was capable of murder.
Which meant that so was Liam.
Murder.
Murder.
Regina gagged but nothing came of it.
She couldn't do anything right.
Couldn't even throw up properly.
This was her fault.
All of it.
Liam Jones would never have started to target Emma if it hadn't been for her.
There was only one thing she could do.
Stop seeing Emma all together.
That would make Liam stop targeting her.
Yes. This was how things were going to be now.
It would never be the two of them.
It was too dangerous.
She could not risk Liam hurting Emma.
She would not be able to live with herself if he did.
Regina slowly came to her feet and found a handkerchief in her purse. Wiped her mouth.
Took a deep breath and tried to calm herself.
It did not work.
She felt anything but calm.
She felt like screaming.
But she could not.
Because her voice was gone.
She stumbled back inside her car. Slammed the door shut. Put on her seatbelt.
Looked around to check that there was no one nearby.
The rest area was quite empty.
Good.
Regina slammed her hand into the wheel.
Again.
And again.
It hurt.
But she needed it.
So badly.
She punched the wheel again.
And again.
If she could not scream, at least she could do this.
She lost count of how many times she did it, but she only stopped when her knuckles started bleeding.
Regina found a second handkerchief in her purse and tied it tightly around her injured knuckles. Then she leaned back in the seat and allowed the tears to flow freely. She cried for the injustice of it all. How Emma's beautiful car had been vandalized. The car she had been so excited about. She cried because there was no way she ever could tell Emma her secret now. There was no way they could be together. Because Liam wouldn't allow it. Because she couldn't risk him coming for Emma again. And she cried because if she ever did tell Emma about her past, Emma would start resenting her because Regina was the one who had started all of this. If she hadn't started to spend time with Emma, Liam never would have come after her.
She had made Emma a target.
Regina cried until her body trembled and her eyes stung. She cried for Emma. And she cried for herself and everything that had been stolen from her by one man.
Now Emma had been stolen from her too.
No. Emma had never been hers.
Regina patted her eyes dry and drove off.
"Oh my god!" Zelena exclaimed and jumped up from the kitchen chair. "What HAPPENED?!"
But Regina held up her uninjured hand to say 'don't'. She couldn't talk about this. Not now. Not yet. She just wanted to be alone.
For the first time in a very long time, Regina pushed past her sister and hurried up the stairs.
Of course Zelena was right behind her. "Regina?! What happened?!"
Regina ignored it. She still felt nauseous, and she feared that talking about it would make her throw up again. Instead of giving her sister an answer, she walked straight to her room, closed the door, and then locked it. The one thing she had been forbidden to do at the psychiatric ward. The one thing Zelena feared.
Regina felt a little guilty for literally shutting her sister out, but she could not face Zelena right now. She needed to be alone. Otherwise she would crack open and everything would spill from her. There would be absolutely nothing left of her when it was done. She couldn't put Zelena through that. Not again.
Regina slid down the door and ended up sitting leaned against it. She rested her forehead on her knees and wrapped her arms around the back of her thighs. Tried to make herself as small as possible. She FELT small. So, so small.
It felt like the tiny steps she had taken towards getting better did not mean anything.
She was still broken.
Still terrified.
And now she was dangerous too.
The image of Liam stabbing the tires in Emma's car popped up in her mind.
He could just as well have been waiting for her in the parking lot.
The thought sent shivers down Regina's spine.
Suppose he had?
Suppose he had been waiting for her in the shadows?
Emma would never have seen him coming.
It would have been a blitz attack.
And what if...
The breath hitched in Regina's throat.
What if Emma's car hadn't broken down because of natural causes?
What if Liam was the one who had sabotaged it?
What if he would do it again?
Cut the brakes.
Regina could see it happening. Could see Emma come driving down the road, smiling and happy. Another car comes. She tries to hit the brake. Nothing happens.
A car crash. A terrible accident.
"Regina, can I please come in?"
Regina slowly lifted her head from her knees. Of course Zelena hadn't given up. And she wouldn't until the door was to be unlocked.
"Regina, please open the door," Zelena pleaded. Her voice was soft and calm, but Regina could still detect the faintest hint of panic. She should open the door. But she suddenly felt so tired. So weak. She tipped her head back and rested it against the door. Her eyes felt swollen and puffy. They stung. She should go to the bathroom and dab them with some cold water. And she should get cleaned up in general. She probably looked like a right mess with mascara running down her cheeks.
"Regina, please. Open the door. I'm worried about you."
It wasn't fair what she was doing to Zelena. And she was too old to hide in her bedroom with the door locked like she was a teenager. She had responsibilities. Her son needed her. Where was he even? The house was so quiet. She supposed that Chad had taken him somewhere. But still, she couldn't just stay in here and ignore the world even though that was what she wanted to do the most.
On weak legs, Regina rose from her sitting position by the door. She hastily ripped off the bloodied handkerchief she had been wearing around her hand and mashed it into her pocket. She was still wearing her coat. And her shoes. God. She was a complete mess. Her knuckles didn't look too good either, but it would look more dramatic if she wore the bloodied handkerchief.
She unlocked the door and Zelena's pale face appeared. There was a deep wrinkle between her eyes and Regina instantaneously felt guilty for having blown her off.
"What happened?" Zelena asked immediately, and in the same breath: "can I come in?"
Regina stepped aside and let Zelena step inside the room. Her sister closed the door behind her and then turned back to Regina. "What's going on, hun? What HAPPENED?"
Everything. Everything happened. Regina had been about to tell Emma everything, and then life had kicked her in the teeth one more time.
And now everything was ruined.
"You're shaking," Zelena said as she came over and took Regina's hands between her own. "And what happened to your knuckles?"
Regina gently withdrew her hands to sign: 'I punched the wheel. Several times.'
"You punched the wheel?" Zelena asked and looked even more concerned. "Why? Regina, what's going on? Did Emma... Did Emma not take it well? Or did you not tell her?"
Regina shook her head and signed: 'I didn't tell her. I couldn't.'
"Oh," Zelena said slightly surprised. "Okay. It's just that I thought you were going to, but it's okay if you changed your mind."
Regina shook her head again. She had to tell Zelena everything. And she had to do it quickly. All the questions and the guessing games were just too much.
She finally slipped off her coat and walked over to the little nightstand. Opened the top drawer and found what she was looking for. Paper and pencil. Then she sat down on the edge of the bed and took the pencil between her fingers. It was shaking. Because her hand was shaking. Because all of her was shaking. She really was a complete mess and she tried taking deep, calming breaths as she wrote: 'I was going to. That was always the plan. We were having coffee and there was a pause in our conversation, so I was preparing myself for steering the conversation onto the topic. But her phone rang, and it was Billy, the mechanic. Emma had called him to take a look at her car. He told her that the Bug had been vandalized while in the parking lot at Dragon Publishing, so she asked me if I could drive her there so she could take a look at the damage. Of course I said yes. We drove to Dragon Publishing. Graham and a couple of other officers where already waiting for us. They were taking pictures and dusting for fingerprints. The Bug was in really bad shape. All four tires had been slashed and the words 'watch your back' had been keyed into the side of the car. We went into Malena's office where we saw the security footage from the parking lot. The person who did it posed as a member of the security staff. He waited until the parking lot was empty, and then he vandalized Emma's car. Emma and Graham talked, and I learned that Emma has been followed for a while by someone in a grey van. And the more I looked at the man on the security footage, the more I thought there was something familiar about him. I could not see his face because he was wearing a hoodie and kept his back to the camera all the time. But when Emma told Graham about a break-in in her room where the post-its from me had been stolen, everything just suddenly clicked. It's Liam. I recognized the way he walked. He and Killian have the same walk. And do you remember what he said to you in court? 'Watch your back'. The exact words that were scratched into Emma's car. He's following her and has been for a while. And it's all my fault. If I hadn't started seeing her, none of this would have happened.' She threw the pencil aside and the piece of paper trembled in her hand as she handed it to Zelena. Then she hid her face in her hands and cried silently. The soft rustling of paper told her that Zelena was reading the long note she had just written, but Regina could not bear to look at her sister's face. She felt sick again. Dizzy.
How could she ever expect Emma to forgive her for endangering her?
And why hadn't she thought about Liam's threats? Why hadn't she taken them more seriously? Why hadn't she figured out that he would try and get her through someone else? Someone she cared about.
Because this was not about Emma, and it never had been.
It was only about Regina.
It was about how the Jones brothers refused to let her go.
She was still trapped.
But Emma did not have to be.
If they stopped seeing one another, Liam would stop threatening Emma.
Regina was sure of that.
There would be no telling.
No confessing.
No hopes of a future which Emma was a part of.
There would only be an ending. They would go their separate ways, and Liam would leave Emma alone.
Breaking things off was the only way to do it. It was too dangerous.
Telling Emma about Liam was too dangerous. Telling the police was too dangerous.
She feared that Liam would escalate completely if he got wind that the police was onto him.
Regina swallowed thickly. Would she ever be free of this nightmare? Would it ever be possible for her to live a normal life?
And what about Emma?
She would be devastated when Regina ended things.
But she did not have any other choice.
A lump formed in Regina's throat. How could things change so quickly? When she left two hours ago, she had been nervous but optimistic, but now it felt like she was right back in the old nightmare in which a man threatened someone she cared about.
Why did this have to happen? Why?!
"My god," Zelena croaked, and the slip of paper dropped to the floor. "Regina, I..." she sat down heavily next to Regina on the bed and wrapped an arm around Regina's shoulder. "Sis..."
Regina allowed herself to be upset and cry in front of Zelena. Silently. She couldn't even cry properly any longer.
"Does Emma know?" Zelena asked as she rubbed Regina's back.
Regina shook her head rapidly no and her hands trembled as she signed. 'No. And she isn't going to either. I don't want her to know.'
"Regina, are you sure that is the best way to-"
Regina silenced Zelena just by looking at her. Then she signed again. 'I was wrong to think that I could tell her about what happened. I can't. I'm not strong enough. This is ripping old wounds wide open and I can't handle it. It's too much. I feel like I can't breathe, and I don't ever want to feel like that again. It's my fault he's after her.'
"Regina! It is not your fault!" Zelena said firmly. "It's LIAM'S fault! He's the only one that can be blamed in this!"
But Regina did not agree. She was the idiot who forgot to think about Liam's existence. His threat. She should have been smart enough to figure out that he would pop up in her life again. He had threatened 'ruin' her once, and now he was planning on making the threat come true.
Regina would be ruined if something ever happened to Emma Swan.
She had to protect her.
And there was only one way to do that.
'I am going to end things with Emma,' she signed and blinked back tears again. 'It is the only way to make him stop.'
"Oh no!" Zelena exclaimed. "Regina, you can't! There has to be another way!'
But Regina shook her head. There wasn't. She was the reason why Liam was following Emma and threatening her. If she stopped seeing Emma, there wouldn't be a reason anymore.
And if she were to tell Emma about Liam... It meant that she had to tell her about everything else too.
And she couldn't. Not now.
It had been ridiculous of her to ever even considering to tell Emma.
It was just too complicated.
Too painful.
Too everything.
Her throat throbbed.
'There isn't. I can't risk him escalating because he finds out that the police know about him. I have a chance of controlling things. Make sure that he doesn't hurt her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if he hurt her. she bit her lip so hard she could taste blood.
"It's your decision," Zelena whispered. "And I support you no matter what you choose. You know that."
Yes, Regina did know that. She tiredly leaned her head against Zelena's shoulder. She felt completely numb. Couldn't even tell whether she was still crying or not.
"You need to have something done about your knuckles," Zelena said gently. "You're bleeding."
Regina looked down at her hand. It was in fact bleeding. But she couldn't feel it. Zelena was saying stuff to her, but she couldn't hear it. Her ears felt strangely stuffed. The image of Liam stabbing the tires on Emma's car kept attacking her. He was in her mind. Exactly like Killian. Liam was every bit bad. Regina had always had the feeling that he had known what Killian had put her through. He just hadn't bothered doing anything about it out of loyalty for his brother. He could have prevented Killian from attacking her. He could have done something. But he had chosen not to. And now he was after Emma. Because of her. Because Regina had allowed herself to be hopeful for just one moment...
Regina stayed in bed for the remainder of the evening. The official explanation was that she had a headache, but the truth was that she just wanted to be left alone. Which Zelena only reluctantly had agreed to.
Henry had come up to her to say hello. He had been out for donuts with Chad, and Regina had tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, but his little mouth had still twisted when she rejected dinner. She was not hungry. Her stomach was one bit knot.
It continued to be so throughout the evening. She didn't sleep. Didn't move. Just laid in her bed and stared blankly at the ceiling while the image of Liam attacking Emma's car kept popping up in her mind.
The only thing that made her move was when her phone vibrated noisily against the table. Regina automatically flinched in fear. Then she reached for her phone, and fresh tears spilled from her eyes when she read the text. 'Hey, I'm really sorry about today. That was not how I had planned our date at all. Would you like to try again and stop by for coffee sometimes next week? I promise there will be less police involved.'
Emma. Of course. God, she was apologizing. For something she had absolutely zero control over.
But Regina had control over it. She had so much control she could make it stop entirely. Perhaps not by snapping her fingers, but definitely by cutting ties with Emma Swan.
Her mind screamed in protest as she slowly pushed down on the buttons to give an answer. Her heart ached.
If only she could have told Emma everything.
But she couldn't.
Not after today.
She had to protect Emma Swan.
Make sure Liam did not hurt her.
And there was only one way to do that.
'I don't think we should see each other anymore.'
So cold.
So heartless.
This was cruel.
This was cowardly.
But she had no other choice.
It was the only way to protect Emma Swan.
Before she could regret it, Regina pressed 'send'. Then she let the phone drop to the floor and wept silently into her pillow. Wept for Emma. And what could have been.
To Be Continued...
