Nixon and Irene lived in a grand house in Princeton. It was a half-hour drive to Princeton; Winters took his very own car and drove them to Nixon's just before six that evening. When they arrived, Nixon rushed out of his front door and scooped Dallin up into his arms. He was already drunk and very pleased to see her.
"Irene! Come meet my kid!" Nixon yelled, while gently lowering Dallin down.
Winters took her hand, sensing that Dallin was overwhelmed.
"Keep it down a notch, Nix". He warned his friend kindly, "she's – uh – well, she's adjusting. Like we all had to do".
Nodding, Nixon's smile softened;
"sure thing, Dick…come on, Irene made supper".
Entering the large two-story house, Dallin and Winters hung up their coats and took off their shoes. Irene had set out a long dining table, she made pork, vegetables and roast potatoes. It almost felt like being back in England. Irene was a very pretty woman who was two years older than Dallin. She was tall, slender, blonde and could have been a model. Irene's smile was kind and warm, she took an immediate liking to Dallin.
"Any plans this week, Dick?" Irene asked politely.
"Yeah…I'm taking Dill to Reading". Winters responded, "we're going to visit Joe".
Nixon smiled;
"Toye? That'll be nice. Been a while since you last saw….".
But the sentence got lost in the air.
And their smiles faded, while they thought back to Bastogne.
Irene cleared her throat, bringing the three veterans back into the room;
"it's nice seeing old friends". She said lightly, "I'm planning on having my cousin stay with us for a week. Isn't that right, Lew?"
Nixon smiled small;
"always happy to meet more of your family, darling".
Looking around the room and taking in the expensive paintings and furniture, Dallin stated;
"you are…very, very rich man now, sir".
Chuckling, Nixon told her;
"call me Lew, or Nix…no more sir, huh?"
He then added;
"and yeah, you're right…I'm well-off".
Irene smiled at her;
"would you like some wine, Dill?"
"No, thank you". Dallin whispered, "I do not drink anymore".
Nixon raised his eyebrow;
"what about smoking?"
"No…I give up". She mumbled, "I have orange juice, yes?"
Chuckling, Irene informed her;
"I'm afraid we only have apple, sweetie".
"Yes, that is fine…thank you very much, Mrs Nixon".
"Call me Irene". She smiled, "I'd like to be your friend, Dill".
Putting down her fork, Dallin scratched the back of her neck.
The collar from her new shirt was itchy. And the trousers she was wearing were too long. She wasn't very good at clothes shopping because Dallin just wanted to grab the closest thing to her and leave. She didn't try anything on. She handed Winters the items and stood quietly by his side while he paid. It was the quickest shopping trip Winters had ever been on with a girl.
While Nixon and Irene shared an inside joke, Winters looked down at Dallin.
Frowning, he asked her quietly;
"you okay, Dill? You've hardly touched your food".
Nodding, she picked up her fork;
"yes, fine…sir".
"Here's your juice, sweetie". Irene smiled, as she placed the glass of apple juice in front of Dallin.
Picking up the glass, Dallin was about to take a sip, when a noise suddenly startled her. A car from outside had backfired and Dallin ended up dropping the glass before she dove under the table, her hands covering her ears and head for protection. The other three stared at each other in silence. Irene eventually got up and told them quietly;
"don't worry…I'll clean everything up".
When she left to fetch a towel, Winters and Nixon frowned at one another.
Pushing his chair back, Winters lifted up the tablecloth.
His heart broke at the sight of Dallin, who looked so small and frightened.
"You 'wanna go home?" Winters asked her quietly.
She shook her head and croaked;
"no…I stay under here for a while, please".
"Dill, nothing's going to hurt you". Winters assured her, "I promise. It was just a car".
"Yes, I know". Dallin mumbled tearfully, "I know…because…because this is not the war anymore and America is very safe".
"That's right". He confirmed softly, "so, how about you get out from under there?"
With a shaky sigh and a sniff, she whispered;
"I am…a bit sad, sir".
"That's alright". Winters murmured, "just come out, trooper".
Wiping her face with her shirt sleeve, Dallin crawled up from under the table and sat back down on the chair. Wiping the worried look off their faces, Nixon and Winters both smiled small at her. But Dallin knew they were worried because they had all gone through the same thing. When another tear rolled down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away. The small smile left his face, while Winters wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
Closing her eyes, Dallin leaned into his side.
Bottom lip quivering, she croaked;
"why…is it very hard, sir?"
Sighing sadly, Winters told her;
"it's a big change, trooper". He said softly, "me and Nix, we know what it's like and we're 'gonna help you, alright? But there's no rush. You just take your time".
"We've still got some pork left". Nixon said, "how about we wrap that up for your cat, kiddo?"
Nodding, Dallin mumbled;
"yes…Felix will like pork…thank you, sir – I mean, Lew".
They didn't spend the night in Princeton and left shortly after Dallin got out from under the table. It was a short visit and despite the small incident, Dallin was glad to see Nixon again. Arriving back at the apartment, Winters made them a hot cup of milk. And after, Dallin fell asleep on the couch and dreamt of Bastogne.
…
In the early hours of the morning, Dallin screamed.
Rolling off the couch she landed on her back on the floor, the wet blankets got tangled around her, as if she was stuck in a spider's web. Dallin was begging and screaming out her friend's names, while she tried to free herself. It was no surprise to Winters that she was suffering from nightmares about combat, he had similar dreams. And Winters was pretty sure a lot of men suffered the same fate.
Sitting behind Dallin, Winters pulled her back against his chest.
And wrapped his arms around her.
Into her ear, he commanded quietly and softly;
"breathe…breathe out, come on…breathe".
Her heart was beating one hundred miles an hour.
Sweat covered her from head to toe and her throat hurt from screaming.
Winters held her tightly and continued to murmur into her ear.
Slowly, her breathing evened out. She wasn't panting so much now, and she had stopped screaming. Dallin's eyes were still a little wide but once realizing she was no longer in the snowy and frozen forest, her pupils returned to normal. Though her body continued to shake as if she was still frozen in Bastogne. But her mind was back in America, safe with Winters.
Leaning back against his chest, she felt his lips brush against the top of her hair. Dallin felt a few tears roll down her cheek, while she admitted to him tearfully;
"I can't…do this".
"Yes, you can". Winters murmured, "it's just 'gonna take some time".
Sniffing wetly, she told him;
"Leon tells me…I have nothing to live for".
"He's wrong". He said, "you have plenty to live for, Dallin Gorski. You owe it to your friends, family and most importantly, you owe it to yourself".
Soft paws padded towards Dallin.
Felix sat by her leg and licked her hand, with gentle purrs, rumbling from his chest.
Smiling small, Winters added softly;
"besides, you have Felix to look after now. I don't know the first thing about raising a cat".
With another sniff, Dallin scratched behind Felix's ears;
"you look after hundreds of men, you can do anything, Dick".
"So can you". He told her, almost firmly, "I mean it, Dill, anything you 'wanna do in life, you'll make it happen".
Biting down on her quivering lip, she chocked out;
"I don't…even want to go to moon…I just want to stop hurting".
Winters frowned deeply;
"I know, trooper". He expressed, "I know…and you will, I promise".
After kissing the top of her hair again, he added;
"one day at a time, alright? And I've taken an early holiday from work. I'm 'gonna help you".
Wiping her nose with her pyjama shirt, she asked;
"Blanche does not mind, sir?"
Shaking his head with a tiny smile, Winters assured her;
"no, Blanche doesn't mind".
Looking at the clock hanging on the wall above him, Winters noted the time and suggested;
"how about a drive in the car?"
"It is…four in the morning, Dick".
"Yeah, it is". Winters said lightly, "and by six, we'll be in Reading".
Frowning, Dallin asked;
"we see Joe?"
He nodded;
"I think we should see Joe Toye today".
After a short pause, she asked him;
"he wants to see me?"
"Of course, trooper". Winters assured her, "that man has missed you so much".
Dallin's eyes softened;
"when I first meet Joe…he tells me no one in his squad will ever quit. And that included me".
Winters smiled;
"he's a great man". He said, "he's a husband and a father now".
Her heart warmed and she stopped shaking;
"he has kids, sir?"
"He does". Winters confirmed softly, "one daughter and another baby on the way".
Smiling, Dallin asked;
"what does he name his daughter, Dick?"
"Anita". He replied, "pretty name, huh?"
She nodded;
"yes…it is very pretty name, Dick".
Clearing his throat, Winters decided to address the elephant in the room;
"have you written to Shifty?"
Shaking her head, the smile left her face;
"I don't know…what to say to him".
"Well, do you love him?"
"Yes".
"So, start with that". Winters said softly, "and then the rest will follow".
"I am…broken". Dallin whispered, "and he…cannot fix us both".
"You're not broken". He said, "you're hurting, Dill and you're scared. Hell, I was hurting, lost and scared when I came home. It took me months to take up Nix's offer and work here. These things take time, trooper. You've 'gotta give yourself a break. Your life shouldn't be rushed".
Giving her head a tiny shake, Dallin whispered;
"you have very good words, Dick".
Rubbing her lips together, she pushed herself off of his chest and turned to face him;
"and maybe…if I am broken, I will heal and be better. And maybe I will find my place in this new world".
Winters smiled softly;
"yeah, you will". He said, "anything you want, Dill".
With a tiny nod, Dallin mumbled;
"we feed Felix…and then we go to Joe".
"Sounds like a great start to a new day, Dill".
