Two days without sleep. It had taken a day to dig out the second corpse of the dead beasts outside the cave entrance, and a second to smoke the meat enough to make it easy to haul with them.
Two restless nights, trying to sneak in a few minutes of shut eye while Alie listened through Clarke's ears.
But it wasn't enough. It would have to do, but not like she would have wanted.
At least Jari had two more days to heal before she forced them on yet another trek, this one also to save their lives.
"Alright then." The kids were all waiting for her pronouncement. Moping around, about to leave what may have been the happiest home they'd ever had. Really, maybe the happiest she'd had, at least since her father…
Yeah. Best not to think about that.
Little shoulders slumped around her, but they picked up their packs and started for the cave entrance without complaint. No doubt they could see the exhaustion in her eyes, and it gave them enough wisdom to stay quiet.
Madi wiggled in her arms, excited to go outside, but wanting to do it on her own.
"Okay. But only until you're tired. Then maybe you'll sleep."
Madi grinned and ran after the boys, her joyful energy like a cloud around her.
"You know it's going to be quite awhile before she gets tired. And she's going to slow us down."
Clarke sighed. "I know. But I haven't slept in… forever. And I'm exhausted. That's going to slow us down too, eventually. We just need to get far enough from here that the beast looks for another food source. And then we need to find shelter. How far do you think we need to go?"
"My database says wolves can travel fifty miles a day, if they have reason. The beast is young, but I would estimate it's endurance to be somewhat the same."
Clarke groaned. "Fifty miles? It will take us days to travel that far."
"Yes."
Alie's matter of fact tone made Clarke groan again. "You're not the one who has to do all the walking, and all the lifting, and carrying."
"I know, Clarke. And that's often a vexation for me."
That made Clarke clam up, even if she didn't slow because the kids would get too far ahead of her. Of course Alie wished she could help in a real, physical way, instead of just moral support and tech support. "Sorry, not just."
"I'm not always reading your thoughts, Clarke."
"But you were now. And I can't read yours."
"I'll try to be more open."
The boys had already bounded out of the entrance when Clarke got there. A snowball fight was fully underway, with Jari a little slower than Thom, giving the younger the advantage. Madi was already in a mound of snow, grinning and trying to imitate the boys.
Heart more full than she would have thought possible, Clarke watched them for a moment, taking in the bit of peace they had before the uncertainty of trying to find another shelter.
It was a horrible thought, but the radiation wave destroying so much may actually help them some, with empty homes standing in so many places. Clarke tamped down her more practical side. Sometimes it got her in trouble.
But it had also kept her, and her friends, alive. And now she had a family to look after. A family she would do anything for.
The sun sparkled on the snow, the air fresh after so many days sitting in a cave, breathing in the smoky air. Clarke let a smile creep onto her face. It was good to be out, even if it was for a bad reason. The kids weren't the only ones feeling cooped up.
The first .9 miles, which Alie kept exact track of, the kids acted like they were on an adventure. And to a kid, it probably was. Not Jari as much as Thom. Jari knew more about real life. But then the excitement began to wear off.
Sitting around in the cave system had made them all soft. At this rate it would take them the rest of the winter just to reach Polis. Everyone might be out of the bunker before she even made it back.
Madi had done so well for her age, but it wasn't too far before she put her arms in the air and let Clarke put her in the sling she'd made. "Wow girl, you've grown so much since we used this last. How is that possible? I'm going to have a tough time hauling you around."
"At this age, she would normally have gained one pound over the time she's been in our care. Considering her condition when we found her, I'd estimate she's gained three pounds two ounces."
"Ouch. Feels like a lot more than that. We need to find some more nutritious food and get out and moving more. I'm getting old." Clarke laughed. "I'm getting old. Never thought I'd be able to say that. I'm surprised I made it to twenty."
"Why?" Thom asked.
She hadn't realized she'd been talking out loud. The conversations with Alie felt so natural now.
"Because everyone dies," Jari said from ahead. "Or they live, but only because they're selfish and only look out for themselves."
Double ouch. A kid his age shouldn't have such a pessimistic outlook on life. When she'd been his age, she'd spent all her time exploring the Ark and learning about Earth. Time to change the subject. "I'm so excited to get you all to Polis. It's going to be amazing to introduce you to everyone. You'll love my mom, Thom. She'll be a grandmother to you, and it's going to be the best thing ever."
His little brow wrinkled. "Grandmother? What's that?"
Well that was sad. But he had grown up in the woods, mostly alone except for his bother.
Little faces looked up at her, waiting for an answer.
"She's my mom. Like I'm-" she stopped herself just in time. Had she really almost called herself their mother? How would they feel about that? Would it be an insult to their actual mother? Neither of them ever seemed to want to talk about her, which tended to be a bad sign.
Studiously ignoring her, obviously trying to act casual, Jark kicked at a snow clump while listening intently.
"Do you remember your mom, Thom?"
Now it was his turn to copy his big brother and kick at a drift. Clarke winced when his boot bounced off a rock hidden underneath, but he didn't seem to notice.
"Nah. Not really."
"Thom!" Jari sounded shocked. "You have to! She was our mother!"
"Not really." Thom just kept marching forward, back stiff with anger. "She wasn't nearly as good a mom as Cla-" he stopped himself mid-sentence. "As other moms."
"She did the best she could," Jari muttered, and that threw them all back into silence.
"I did it this time, huh." Clarke asked Alie, making sure to keep it internal.
"We have bigger problems," Alie answered. "I didn't want to bring it up until I knew. But now I'm sure. We're being tracked."
