Disclaimer: I do not own Friday Night Lights, or any of its characters or plots. I just own my storyline and my OCs.

Tyra's comment took María totally unprepared for two reasons. First, because she was totally certain she was being cautious enough so nobody would notice the shift in her demeanor, and, mainly, because she had gotten a call from Julie the previous day happily announcing that she was getting married to Matt in June. María knew Jules had also phoned Tyra to share the news and given that according to the soon to be Mrs Saracen they both would be in the wedding party, María had thought that the incoming ceremony would be their first topic when they met after their first class. But clearly she had been wrong. Apparently her alleged addiction to Percocet was a much more pressing issue for Tyra than their friends' nuptials.

"We've just decided the date, second week of June, and we want it to be in Dillon. I was wondering if you'd be willing to be my bridesmaid, María…" Julie had shyly asked right after blurting the news.

María was truly happy for Julie and Matt. She was well aware that they had worked hard in their relationship to get to where they were right now, with their ups and downs. They were living proof that somewhere out there there was hope for love. "Of course, Julie, I'd be honored to be your bridesmaid. And to help you with arrangements in Dillon. No need for you to fly all the way down from Chicago for anything I can do from here. And you can count on my mom, too. She'll be delighted to help," María had kindly offered. She had no experience at all at organizing weddings, but from what she had heard from her aunts and cousins in Dallas she could imagine that it could be tricky doing it long distance.

"Thanks, María. You're a lifesaver. Your help's much appreciated since there's not much my mom can do from Pennsylvania, either," Julie chuckled.

"I mean it, Jules. Please count on us from anything you may need," María repeated, wondering how the Taylors would have taken the news. According to Tami's words, they had been hoping for a long engagement, although she thought that they would not wait for long. She had been right. "Tami's usually right about this kind of thing," she thought. That trail of thought led María to realize that now she would not be able to avoid going home during the following months. She mentally thanked Matt and Julie for planning a wedding in Dillon and thus giving her the perfect excuse to go home and confront her fears, mostly running into Billy. She might be high on painkillers most of the time, but she was still able to see some things clearly. And she was being too hard on her parents by automatically avoiding every chance she had to go home and spend time with them just because she was afraid of her reaction if she saw Billy in Dillon. María did not know it back then, but her friends' wedding (the arrangements and the celebration itself) would end up being one of the things that would help her reverse her course down the rabbit hole, and for that she would be forever grateful to Matt and Julie.

"Thank you," Jules continued, completely oblivious to María's current thoughts. "I'll do my best not to drive any of you crazy… We don't want a big wedding, but even in that case I'm sure we'll be busy anyway. We aren't thinking about having too many people in the bridal party, either. It'd just be Tyra, as maid of honor, and Claire, my friend from college, and you… And there won't be many people on Matt's side, either, Landry as his best man, Tim and Josh, his work colleague at the gallery, as groomsmen. Oh! I'm glad you're gonna meet Josh, he's such a great guy, and so good-looking. Wouldn't it be something else if you two …" Jules was obviously excited, and could not stop from praising Matt's friend. She knew María had taken hard her breakup with Billy, and honestly thought that a little bit of flirting with a good guy would do her no harm at all, just the opposite.

For a moment there María stopped listening to Julie, thinking how life was so unpredictable. "Who would have told Timmy less than a year and a half ago that he would be part of Jules and Matt's wedding party?" she thought, wondering how he would take it. It suddenly hit her that she had not been in contact with Tim for a very long time, realizing that she had no idea how he was doing. Would he still be in San Antonio, or would he have finally given up his brother's dream and return home? She really hoped it was the former. He was certainly not very good at keeping in touch, but if she was honest she had to admit that as of late she had totally neglected her friend duties with him in that regard. Since they had gone to college, she usually had sent him emails during the school year letting him know how she was doing, and inquiring about him. She seldom got a response, but she still did it. Plus Billy had been their link while she was in Austin and Tim in San Antonio, and she had spent a lot of time in the Riggings household during their breaks, resulting in running together in the mornings and having breakfast afterwards if Tim was also home. But of course all that had stopped the day María had broken up with Billy. And she had not felt in the mood to write to him in a long time, either.

"I'm so happy for you two, Julie. I'm really looking forward to it," María finally said, putting aside all thoughts about Tim. In fact, Julie's voice had sounded so merry over the phone that her words made María forget momentarily that she probably would not be able to get another prescription for her painkillers if her cast was removed the following day as scheduled.

Everything went as planned and her cast was removed the day after she knew about the wedding. Her doctor at the Dell Seton Medical Center at UT was really happy with the way her wrist was healing and encouraged her to start with physical therapy regardless of the pain she was still complaining about, which he thought was not consistent with the pace of her recovery. He was really satisfied with the results of all the tests that had been carried out since the surgery, and in that scenario to be in pain like she claimed was actually odd.

"As a matter of fact, it may help you with the pain more than those pills," he said. "You've been taking them for a while now, we don't want you to develop an addiction," he added, not knowing that his patient was already down that road.

María did not even blink when she heard his words, and was really grateful that she had finally gone to her appointment alone. Tyra had insisted on going with her, but she had politely thanked her friend and told her that it was just a scheduled follow up and that she wouldn't want her to waste her time. She was well aware that Tyra was struggling academically during her senior year as a result of working two jobs, her usual gig waitressing and an internship at the District that she had worked very hard to be considered for and had not been able to pass on it when she had learnt that her application had been shortlisted. María knew about her struggle, and despite her post op had been helping her as much as she could with her assignments and papers during the last weeks before the break. That is why she felt so awful when she pulled out the "you're so busy" card to avoid her friend's company at the doctor's. If the issue of the pain came up, like she was certain it would, she did not wish to have Tyra there to inquire about it and share her concerns with her doctors. The medical staff was in permanent contact with Coach Colt and the last thing Maria wanted was to raise any red flags in front of her coaches.

But when she had said that to Tyra, a little voice at the back of her mind started yelling 'How can you say that to her. She only wants to help!' María quickly silenced it. She was not proud of it at all, but she was becoming a pro at that, noticing that she was also excelling at disguising her constant sadness and frustration behind a strong façade. She did not like one bit the kind of person she was becoming in this process. Yet she was not ready to give up the only thing that had brought her some comfort since Connor had gone back to Florida.

During the time spent at the ranch she had come to realize that she truly missed him, not as the lover he had been for less than twenty-four hours, but as her mentor and friend. The fact that they had been able to switch back to their coach-player dynamic as soon as their plane landed in Austin after their interlude in Vegas proved that their professional relationship and their friendship was strong, and a night and day together had not ruined it. But he was gone now, probably forever, as Coach Colt was indeed planning the rest of the season without him. Harris had not called her again, and neither had she. María understood that he was going through a rough patch in his life and the last thing she wanted was to bother him in those circumstances.

And not only Connor was gone, Billy was no longer in her life, and she still had to come to terms with that. When she had made the decision to move on in that corridor of the hotel in Las Vegas she had not taken into account how difficult it would be to live with that call in her day to day life. If that was not enough, she had just gone through the worst nightmare for a golfer, a severe injury that had required open surgery… It was definitely too much to deal with at the same time. She was a mess, and thought that just needed time and calm. In the whirlwind of that situation the painkillers gave her that sense of calm and numbness that she really welcomed in her current state. At least until their effect wore off and she felt the urgent need to take them again, no matter if she did feel pain or not.

In that regard, unbeknownst to Tyra, her words did have some effect on María when she brought to her attention the fact that she was high on Percocet most of the time. She did not share it with Tyra at the time, but from then on María started saying to herself that she would definitely stop taking the painkillers once she felt that she could deal with everything on her own. That warning would end up being a step forward in the right direction.

Tyra had spent most of her life surrounded by different kinds of addictions (from alcohol, to toxic relationships, even drugs…) and she could certainly tell when she had one in front of her. In fact, she had already been worried before Christmas break, but she kept reminding herself that María had just gone through major surgery in her wrist and she would need time to go back to her usual self. Plus, she had kept in mind that María would be surrendered by an extended family who would undoubtedly notice if something was off like she suspected.

But apparently none of her relatives, not even her parents had sensed anything out of the ordinary at Christmas. And that scared Tyra deeply, because just being in her company for a little while she could tell that María was high on something. She then remembered that her friend had been concerned about refilling her painkiller prescription before heading for Dallas, and it all started to make sense. In her opinion, María had not been the same since Miles had died seven months ago, or more accurately, since she had found out about Billy's relapse about a month earlier, and breaking up with him had only made things worse for her, at least from the outside. Tyra thought that her coach's sudden return home and her injury had been the last straw.

It all even made more sense when Tyra confronted María about it and she reacted as a text book addict. Feeling that she needed help, and not knowing how to assist her without ratting her out, Tyra did something she had sworn herself she would never ever do, no matter how eager she had been to hear his drawl over the last few years: she looked up the number for San Antonio State and called Tim.

"Hey Collette, I knew you'd end up calling… Took you long enough, though…" Tim greeted Tyra when he called her back. He had been both flattered and intrigued when he had found out a note in his dorm room with a message from her.

"Don't flatter yourself, Riggins,... I'm not calling for you…" Tyra retorted, happy that he could not see her blushing fiercely over the telephone line. She tried to keep her voice steady, in an effort to hide the deep emotion she was feeling hearing his voice.

"Really? Cause the note I got was pretty clear: 'Call Tyra Collette, she needs to talk to you asap…' I knew it was only a matter of time…" he chuckled.

"Tim, it's not that..." she managed to say, afraid that she would not be able to hide her feelings for him if he kept talking about that.

"No?" He asked, surprise (or was it disappointment?) evident in his tone.

"No, I need your help…" Tyra finally continued, choosing not to wonder if he was truly disappointed. That was a road she should not take if she still wished to keep him at arm's length.

"Well, you can call it whatever you want… Fine by me, we can meet…" he still joked, suddenly realizing how much he had missed her, and their constant banter. So far, he had not met anyone that understood him like she did, not even Lyla, and that realization struck him.

"Tim, stop being an ass, will you? I knew this was a very bad idea, I should've never called you…" she trailed off, quickly assessing the possibility of making up an excuse and hanging up, thinking that definitely this had been a mistake.

Her words worried him. She was right, otherwise why would she call him after all this time and after all that happened between them if it wasn't important? "No, wait. Sorry… I know you wouldn't call if it wasn't important… Is Billy okay?" His brother suddenly came to his mind. Why else would she be calling?

"Billy?" Her brow furrowed.

"You know he and Mindy are kinda seeing each other again, right?" Tim felt the awkward need to explain. There had been a time when Tyra and her sister had no secrets, but he had lost contact with his former girlfriend and he was not aware of the current status of their sisterhood. But he did know that she had not set foot in Dillon for years, and he wondered how Mindy would feel about that.

"Yeah, kind of… But I'm not calling you about them, Tim… It's María..." she finally said. Talking about Billy and Mindy's relationship was a slippery slope, as they themselves were not able to describe it. According to Mindy, they were taking things slow. But in Tyra's opinion it was just that Billy was hesitant to make a move after how things had gone down the first time. And maybe he still had feelings for Marií. Tyra did not know it then, but she had nailed it, as those were Billy's reasons to just linger in a quiet and so far platonic friendship with his ex fiancee.

Tim was surprised to hear the name behind the reason Tyra had contacted him. He slowly raised his brow. "Mars? What's wrong with her?"

"I'm sure you know she had surgery around Thanksgiving…?" Tyra tentatively said, waiting for the worse. Definitely he was not the best at keeping in touch with his friends.

"Surgery? Why?" he frowned. Tyra had been right, he had no clue about María's current life.

"I can't believe you don't know, Tim… You suck at this…" she offered. How could he not know about that? María was one of his best friends and had been his brother's girlfriend for years, not to mention that he himself had dated her during their senior year in high school. "I wonder how long it's been since he last spoke to Jason," Tyra thought, remembering how they had been able to rebuild their friendship after Tim and Lyla's affair when she was Jay's girlfriend.

"Hey! Billy usually kept me in the loop about Mars, and as you can imagine that hasn't happened since last summer… I wouldn't dare to mention her name in front of him…" Tim explained.

Tyra sighed. "Yeah… Well, the thing is I think she's in trouble, big trouble, and I don't know what to do to help her…"

Tim interrupted her. "Collette, she's María McGill. She's the most responsible, hard-working person I've ever known. I don't think she'd ever be in big trouble… She'll recover from surgery and…" he trailed off.

Tyra did not let him finish his line. "Tim, I think she's developed an addiction to painkillers, she's high on Percocet all the time and she keeps playing it off…" Tyra elaborated.

"Come on…" he laughed.

Tyra tensed and held her cell phone tighter. "It's the truth, Tim! Are you gonna help me help her or not? Because if you aren't…'

Something in her tone made him reconsider his previous words. "How long's this been going on?" he finally asked.

Tyra sighed again. "I don't know, I really noticed when she came back from Dallas after Christmas break, but looking back, maybe since the surgery? And I don't know what to do. I don't wanna go to the golf coaching staff and rat her out, or talk to her parents directly… She'd be mad at me for doing that, but I feel I have to do something and... " She stopped for air, and Tim chimed in with an idea.

"Call Mrs Taylor?" he shyly offered. He could not think of someone better if María was in serious trouble.

"Tim, she's in Pennsylvania, quite busy as far as I know. You think she can do anything but try to talk to her on the phone?" Tyra inquired back.

"That's a start," Tim shrugged. "And if her parents and her coaches have to be informed I'm sure she'll do it much better than us, no offense…" he added. He did want to help María, but, honestly, he did not imagine himself informing his former football coach Mac McGill that his golden daughter might be hooked up to painkillers.

Despite the seriousness of the topic they were discussing, Tyra chuckled. "None taken… Okay, I think that's a good idea, I'll call her... Thanks Tim…" she finally thanked him, urging her impulse to hang up her phone right away. She felt that the more they'd talk, the more she would miss him afterwards, and she had fought that feeling of longing very hard for years just to let her wall down after a few minutes of conversation over the phone with him.

"Anytime Collette. Tell me how it goes, will you? Mars is my friend too..." he said, awed to find himself wanting to drag the call as much as possible.

"That's why I called," she stated, willing to clarify it again.

"You can also call me for other things, you know…" Tim retorted, his voice suddenly low and somehow husky.

"Bye Tim!" Tyra exclaimed and hung up, wishing things were different and he did not have that pull over her no matter how many years passed by without seeing or talking to each other.

That same day Tyra telephoned Tami Taylor. They had been in touch since the former had gone to college, almost four years before, and they had kept in contact when the Taylors had moved to Pennsylvania. Tami was delighted to hear Tyra's voice. She was always happy to talk to all former Dillon High School students, but she had a soft spot for Tyra since she had grown close to her daughter Julie and she had gotten to know her well. It had not been an easy path. At first, when Tyra and Jules became close, Tami did not approve of their friendship, believing her to be a bad influence. But she soon saw another side of Tyra after seeing her take care of her drunk mother and realized that Tyra was a misunderstood young woman who had not seen many positive female influences. In that moment, Tami vowed to take her daughter's friend under her wing and get her into college, and she was really proud of her when she watched how Tyra was becoming a strong, determined young woman. And pride had only grown as she navigated her way through college, working to pay her tuition and becoming the strong, independent young woman she had foreseen when she had talked her into going to college.

But this time Tyra was not the bearer of good news. Tami had been really surprised to know about María. Her mother had told her about the surgery and the time she would need to fully recover and resume practicing golf, but she had not mentioned anything related to constant pain or bumps in her recovery. In fact, she thought she was doing as well as could be expected given the extent of her injury. That is why Tyra's call caught her off guard.

"It's strange, you know… María seems to be as focused as ever. Even more. She's working hard with the coach staff. I mean, she can't golf but she's taken on all the work her mentor did before he had to run back home to Florida, she's helping me with my assignments and papers, she's excelling at the one class she has this year… But if you take a close look at her you'd see that she' doing all that on autopilot, like if she wanted to fill a void in her life…." Tyra explained.

Tami understood perfectly what Tyra meant. She had noticed that vulnerability hidden behind self-confidence and responsibility since María had gone back to Dillon for her senior year in high school.

"Yeah, I know what you mean… You're going to be a hell of a counselor one day if you decide to take that path, Tyra, I wouldn't have described it any better…" she said, as pride for Tyra and concern for Maria equally washed over her. "Don't worry, I'll talk to her…" Tami offered.

María was working late on the following month's schedule when Tami's call came through. She had made a habit out of staying up late working at the coaching staff office. At that time it was all quiet and she found it easier to concentrate. Plus it was a good way of avoiding Annie and her constant chat in her dorm room. María was surprised as she noticed Tami's name on her cell phone screen, as it had been a long time since they had spoken. More accurately, it had been months ago when María's had found out about Billy's relapse and had sought her former guidance counselor's advice.

"Hey, Tami. Congrats, I heard you've got a wedding coming up soon…" she cheerfully greeted her, thinking that she might be calling to discuss wedding arrangements, and probably vent off some pent-up tension. María had the feeling that the Taylors had not been expecting the engagement in the first place and believed that Julie and Matt were too young to get married.

"Hey, María. I see Jules already called you… Good Lord, that girl's something else… We've barely had time to tell the family!" Tami exclaimed, annoyance and affection clear on her voice in equal proportion.

"Well, I'm glad she did. Since the wedding will be in Dillon, my mom and I can help with whatever you need our assistance with…" María trailed off.

"Thank you so much, María. We really appreciate it. There's not much time and being so far away… I know it's gonna get complicated… But I do understand why they want to do it in Dillon. Mrs Saracen is there, and they met there… Anyway, thank you again. I'll let you and your mom know how everything's going… Tyra's already on the wedding party attires…" Tami explained. She had been both thrilled and worried to learn that Dillon had been chosen to host the wedding. With the four of them living thousands of miles away it was definitely going to be a challenge.

María chuckled. "Oh… Don't get me wrong, but as much as I love Tyra, I don't think we have the same taste in clothing…" She could already picture the sort of dresses her friend would pick for the maid of honor and bridesmaids. "Well, as long as Julie likes them…" she thought.

"No, I don't think so…" Tami chuckled back. "But I think she does know that, and she'll take it into account… Listen, I have to run in a few minutes but I just wanted to check in on you to see how you're doing with your wrist and all…"

María froze and held her phone tight, trying to think about what to say next. The truth was that Tami had never called to check on her before. Over the years they had kept in contact by writing long emails and having long telephone conversations in which they would catch up and keep the other one in the loop with developments in their lives. And María had called Tami several times looking for advice. But certainly 'checking on' either of them had been out of the picture.

María did her best to sound as casual as possible. "Well, I had my cast removed yesterday and I'm starting physical therapy tomorrow…"

"So everything's going according to plan then?" Tami inquired, in an effort to get her talking. Mac and Sue's daughter was not looking forward to resuming golf, apparently. And that didn't sound like her at all.

Although she could not be seen, Maria nodded. "Yeah, the doctors think that I could be back at the range in eight to ten weeks, even sooner if there's no other complications..." Her doctor had insisted that it was important that she started physical therapy as soon as possible, as her chances at a full recovery could be compromised if she did not begin exercising her forearm right after removing the cast. But she was finding it hard to be excited about it. She knew she had some difficult weeks ahead of her and she did not feel she had the energy and strength she needed to face them. In fact, at the moment she'd rather be at the staff office helping her team than struggling at physical therapy. Which was odd given that she had never been afraid of working hard and striving for what she wanted. The mere idea that all this could mean that she might not be interested in golf anymore really scared her because it had been the only thing that had kept her focused during the last months.

"That's great, girl! I assume that means that you're not in pain and ready to…" Tami continued.

The mention of the word 'pain' immediately raised a red flag for María. Why was Tami Taylor asking about pain? María frowned. Was there a chance Tyra had talked to her? "Of course she has," she said to herself. The 'check on you' part was now meaningful. "Tami, is there something you wanna ask me?" She finally inquired, closing her eyes and bracing herself for impact.

"Excuse me?" Tami responded, surprised by her words and her sudden tired tone.

María sighed. "I'm sorry if that sounded harsh… I just find it strange all these questions coming from you. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate you reaching out, I really do. But I was wondering if Tyra had talked to you. She seems to think that…" she tried to explain but found that couldn't voice out her friend's concerns. She did not like the reality behind it.

"Is she right, María?" Tami softly asked, feeling that there was no need for any further explanation.

María shook her head. "What do you mean?"

"You know what she thinks and what I mean. Is she right?" Tami repeated.

Maria closed her eyes again and stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"That's a yes?"

Tami's last question lingered over the telephone line while María hesitated. She realized now as she heard Tami that if she finally admitted to her what had been going on during the last months, it could be a huge relief, lifting a heavy burden off her shoulders. Maybe she would never be able to overcome this situation on her own. At least it seemed that she hadn't been doing very well. But now she came to understand how stressed she had been over the events of the last years until she was actually seeing a way out.

But admitting it was not easy, mainly for the consequences such an admission could have. Her parents' disappointment and worry was the main one. She already felt awful about having neglected them lately, and she knew they'd be disappointed and very concerned if they knew about her struggles. In addition to that, she feared the reaction of the coaching staff, above all Coach Colt, at knowing that their female golf captain had developed an addiction when she should have been concentrated on making a full recovery. Not to mention the effect it could have on UT reputation and the measures the University Sport Committee could be forced to take if it went public. It would all probably mean saying goodbye to collegiate golf and the chance at a pro golf career.

It was a fact that she had devoted all her teen years and her time in college to pursue that dream. She had sacrificed spending time with the people she loved the most (her parents, Billy, her friends), barely seeing them, in order to achieve her goal. Was she actually ready to say farewell to all that and deal with the feeling of failure that no doubt would come with it?