The world was bright and shining, drowning Maho in soft light as she opened her eyes. The air was warm and dry, and there wasn't exactly quiet, but it was close to it. The low burr of an AC unit, and muted chirping of birds from outside. At first she simply remained there, lying on what appeared to be a couch of some sort. Although somehow it seemed familiar to her, and after a few minutes she arose from it to investigate her surroundings.

She was standing in a room, a familiar room she had been in before. The furniture, the walls, the layout and adjoining hallways, she recognized it all. She was standing in the living room of her father's house, with every inch of the house bathed in a warm white light. It all made her feel warm and safe, despite not knowing how she got there. A small clinking sound from the direction of the kitchen drew her attention however, and she cautiously made her way through the house towards it.

Normally she wouldn't have even dared hope, but something about this place made both warmth and hope fill her body and mind as she rounded the corner, like she had done so many times before.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Maho," her father said with a warm smile, looking up from the steaming cup of coffee he had before him. "Welcome home."

"Dad?" she asked cautiously as she stepped into the kitchen, before leaping at her father. "Dad!" She hugged him tightly, refusing to let go, and he held her tight in return.

"Hi, Sweetheart," he said softly. "Something the matter?"

She nodded vigorously, which through the tight hug seemed more like aggressive nudging into her father's shoulder than anything else.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She simultaneously nodded and shook her head. "I don't know…" she whispered.

"Aww, don't be like that honey…" he answered affectionately as he stroked her hair. "Why don't you sit down, and I'm sure we can make it all better. I've made cocoa."

She glanced over to the table through the hug, and could indeed see a steaming cup of warm cocoa sitting invitingly before the chair opposite her father. It did smell great, she could tell even from the other end of the table, but she couldn't bear herself to let go.

"I missed you… What if… what if I let go and you disappear again?"

"Oh, honey… I'm not going to go anywhere…"

"But what if you do? You said the same thing last time, and then… then…" She could feel herself start to cry, the tears disappearing into the shoulder of her father's shirt. "Then you were gone…"

Maho hugged even tighter, and her father answered in kind.

"Well, what if you don't let go then?"

She looked up with confusion in her tear-drowned eyes, sniffling as she did so.

He lightly grabbed her arm and moved it away, taking her hand in his and holding it tight. "See? Now we can talk, and you don't have to worry about me disappearing. I'm right here, and I always will be."

She hesitated for a moment, before nodding and releasing her grip on her father, but not his hand. As she sat down across the table from him, she brushed her sleeve against her eyes to clear her tears, and took a sip of the cocoa. It was every bit as delicious and warming as it had smelled.

"So," he asked her with a smile, "What's the matter, Sweetie?"

"I yelled at Koume… I told her to go away and that I didn't need her…"

"Why did you do that?" he asked. "I know you didn't mean it, and I think you do too."

"I… I don't know… I was just sad, and angry, and she punched me, and tried to force me to make a choice, and-"

"Maho…" He gave her a stern yet affectionate look, the kind seemingly reserved for parents, and brushed the back of her hand gently with his thumb.

She sighed and looked down, ashamed. "I… I know… I shouldn't have… She was just trying to help me, but… but… but I'm just so tired…"

"Of what?"

"I don't know…"

"Maho," he said knowingly, "what are you tired of?"

She looked back up, and met her father's eyes. "I… I'm tired of running. I've been running for so long, I feel like I'm gonna collapse. I can't do it anymore, but I don't know what else I can do?"

"Well, what do you think your friends would do? What do you think they would like you to do?"

She took another sip of the cocoa and looked away, gazing out through the hallway towards the living room.

"I… I think… I mean... Koume said I should fight... She said that's what the Maho she knew would have done… it's just... I just don't know if that's who I am anymore… If I can ever be that person again… The person Koume knew… she…" Maho took a moment and tried to gather herself. "I think Koume might have been right. Maybe Maho Nishizumi did drown back then. But I don't know… The well is just so deep, I'm afraid of what I'll find when I pull out the bucket…"

"Maybe…" He smiled again, and added his other hand to the pile on the table. "But maybe that's what you'll need to do? Yes, it might be scary, but it's only when we're scared that we can be brave, isn't it? And you were always incredibly brave…"

Something about those words made them echo in Maho's mind for a few moments, causing her to look back over to her father. She put the cup of cocoa back down, and glanced at their hands held tight.

"Dad…" She asked cautiously.

"Yes, Maho?"

"This… this isn't real, is it? I-I mean… you're not… you're not here anymore, so am I… am I… Is this…"

"'The beyond'?" he answered with a chuckle, before gently shaking his head. "No, sweetie, it's not. This is all in your head. You're right though, I might not be alive anymore, but that doesn't mean I'm not with you anymore. I'll always be right here, and I'll always love you. You know that, don't you?"

"B-but…" She could feel tears begin to well up again, "but I yelled at you… I said you were a horrible parent… I yelled at you and hurt your feelings, and… and then… and then I never got to apologize… and now you'll never forgive me…"

"Oh, Maho…" he said softly, reaching out a hand to her cheek. "You know that isn't true, don't you?"

"B-b-but…"

"You know you could never disappoint me or make me hate you, right? You know that the only thing you ever needed to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day. And even if you don't know what you want to do or what you want for yourself, you know what it is I want for you, don't you?"

Maho didn't answer, even though she knew the answer. Mostly because she couldn't bring herself to believe she could do it.

"Maho…"

"I know, I just… I just…"

"My only hope for you is that you will live to see that yourself, and that you will surround yourself with people who can help you find that happiness." She knew this speech word for word, and yet she couldn't help but smile as she heard her father repeat it once more. Even if it wasn't actually in person. "You are a shining beacon in the lives of anyone you meet, and the only way you could ever disappoint me is if you let that roaring fire die out."

She dried her tears with her sleeve, sniffling, before looking at her father again. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you, Dad." But a sudden sadness striking her like a knife through her heart caused her to look down again. "But… I don't want to lose you again… I… I don't want to let go…" She gripped his hand tighter, as if even her grip loosening would let him slip away.

"Of course not. But you know you're going to have to sooner or later, don't you?"

She nodded.

"Good. I'll still be with you no matter what, but until you feel ready, I'm not going to let go. Okay?"

Another nod.

They remained there for a long time, sitting in silence and holding each others' hands until Maho lost track of how long it had been.

"Dad?"

"Yes, honey?"

"I… I think I'm ready… Just… before I go... could I get another hug?"

He smiled at her. "Of course."

She got up and walked over to him, and hugged him as tight as she could, and he hugged her back. This was probably the last time she would ever get the chance. Seconds became a minute, one minute became two, and two became five. Only then could she will herself to let go of the embrace.

"Thank you, dad," she said with a smile. "And I'm sorry."

"I know, Maho. I know."

She let go, and stood for a moment before him, holding his hand and looking down at it, before sighing and steeling herself. She looked up one last time, a smile on her lips and a tear in her eye.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I love you." she said softly, as if the words could shatter if not handled with care.

"I love you too, Maho."

She nodded, and let go of his hand.


The cries of seagulls, the pink sky above her, and a headache the size of the Graf Zeppelin met Maho as she opened her eyes. For a moment she was confused, but then it all began coming back to her. Glancing over, she could see the railing of the Zuikaku, the one where she had been sitting.

That's right. She had lost her grip and slipped.

She reached a hand up to the back of her head, the source of the headache, and groaned. It really did feel like she had been run over by a tank. Looking at her hand, it was at least dry and not crimson red, so it seemed she hadn't cracked her skull open against the pavement, even if it most certainly felt like it.

She sighed and slowly began sitting herself up on the ground, even if it took all the energy she could muster. With every degree she rose, the headache only pulsated more painfully through her head, and soon it felt like it would crack open of its own accord. She closed her eyes and drew slow, deep breaths, trying her best to outlast the pain as she rose.

She gave a quick glance to the horizon. The sun was nothing but a thin sliver still peeking out from below it, drowning the skies and the seas in a vivid, fiery display of colors. She gently shook her head and chuckled softly to herself as she stared out to sea, remembering the dream she had just had, before turning around and beginning to make her way back home. She needed to lie down, both to sleep, and to nurse her incessant headache.


As Maho once again found herself in the crumbling remains of Ooarai, she wasn't surprised. Not in the least. If anything, she had been hoping to find herself here once more as she fell asleep. She rose from the ground and walked out of the alleyway into the street of the ruined town.

"Alright, you flaming bastards!" she yelled into the vast silence of the town, overruling both the cutting rain and the distant rumble of tracks. "I'm done playing your stupid game, and I'm done with running! I'm Maho Nishizumi, daughter of Tsuneo, and there's nothing I can't face! I'll smother you myself if I have to, so if you pale imitations have even half the sense that I have, you'll leave me alone!"

Not a word came in reply, and the only thing breaking the silence was the neverending rain and the distant rumble. Normally this would have been exactly what she would want, but she had been pumping herself up for a fight and now of all times it was denied her? She closed her eyes and tried to see where the Tiger was and where it was going, but to no avail. She couldn't concentrate properly, and the rain drowned out all sounds.

The lack of answer only made her blood boil more violently.

"Come on then! Come at me! Where the hell are you bastards?! If you're trying to scare me into running, it's not gonna work! I'm not moving until you phantoms come out here and face me! I swear, I'll-"

She was cut short by a hand being held over her mouth as she was pulled back into the alley and thrown down to the ground behind some crates, her mouth still tightly covered and allowing no sound to escape. "Are you insane?!"

Maho struggled for a moment, but as she saw who was holding her down, her struggles became more violent. Pinning her to the ground was herself, or rather the version of herself she sometimes saw in the mirror. A perfect reflection, but dressed in Kuromorimine's uniform and with a steady and confident gaze.

"You'll draw her right to us!"

"That's the point! I'm gonna kill her, or die trying!" Maho growled. "Now get off me!"

Her doppelganger looked at her with queer curiosity for a moment, before pausing and listening for something. But after a moment or two, it shrugged and released it's hold on her, offering a helping hand which Maho brushed away with a glare as she got up.

"Why are you here anyways?" she asked bitterly. "Don't you have some mirror to stand in and tell me taunting lies from?"

"I've been here the whole time, looking for you. You just didn't bother looking for me before is all," it said with a smile.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, I suppose it might be a bit strange to comprehend," it chuckled, before holding steeling itself for a moment. It held up its hand and gave Maho a smug look, before the skin of its hand and lower arm cracked, turning to embers flying away through the rain as the arm burst into flames. Black, obsidian flames.

Rain. Rain falling heavy over the ruined town, and the quiet sizzle of water on flames was all Maho could hear. The moment, which to her lasted hours, felt like a shell striking her square in the chest as she was hit by the understanding.

"Wait…" she said cautiously, and took a step back. "You're…" Another step. "You're saying you're…" Another step, cut short by the brick wall behind her. She was out of room to give up. There was no more falling back, and there was no running.

The reflection that spoke to her from the mirror…

The black flaming doppelganger searching for her through her dreams…

They were one and the same.

The creature, what else could she call it, nodded. It nodded, and smiled.

"Took you long enough, Maho." The rest of its skin burst into the air as embers, revealing the inferno of obsidian underneath. A second passed, and the flames slowed, almost crusting over as skin and cloth and hair once again covered its surface. "I really thought someone as clever as us would have figured it out sooner."

Maho took a breath. Then another. She unconsciously clawed at the wall behind her.

"Alright…" she sighed. "Then go ahead… Just do it. Now that the mask is off, can we end this charade?"

Her reflection tilted her head slightly. "What are you talking about?"

"You know all too well what I mean… Go ahead, kill me. I'm not afraid of you anymore."

"Is that so?" It took a step forward, and Maho felt herself tense up. It chuckled to itself. "Haven't I told you that you can't lie to me, Maho? I'm you after all, remember?" It shrugged, and turned around to lazily pace back and forth in the alleyway. "Still, you've got it wrong. I'm not here to hurt you. Never was. I only want to help us, and it seems you're actually starting to be receptive to some help." It winked and gave Maho a thumbs up. "Which, for a girl like us, is some big progress. So tell me, what was it? Was it seeing dad again? Koume? That well-deserved punch in the face? Something else?"

"Didn't you say you were me? You figure it out," Maho muttered, glaring with eyes like daggers at her counterpart.

"So be it. I suppose just because you've made some progress doesn't mean you have to stop hating yourself."

"What are you talking about? I don't hate myself. I just-"

"Really? So then the scars on our arms and the multiple times you thought about just jumping off the carrier was for fun?"

"Just shut up. And unless you have anything useful to tell me, I'm gonna go find the other impostor. At least it has the decency to kill me instead of trying to bombard me with lies." Maho pushed herself away from the wall and began walking out of the alley, but a hand appeared on her shoulder.

"Why? If you know she will just destroy us, why chase after her regardless?"

"Because I'm tired of running from her," she growled, shaking the hand of her shoulder. "And this has nothing to do with you, so leave me alone."

"Well, have fun then. You know where to find me when you figure it out."


Maho groaned from the pain as she rose from her bed. While her headache had indeed diminished, she awoke with fresh pain in her chest, residue from her repeated attempts at taking down her purple flaming doppelganger, none of which had been even remotely successful.

She sighed and put her head in her hands.

"This isn't working… I can't keep doing this…" She put a hand against her chest and drew deep breaths. With each breath the pain in her chest flared up and then receded, until finally it disappeared.

She felt stupid. Why was she even trying? It wasn't gonna work, and even if it did, what was the point? Koume had already made her mind up about her. Dad was already dead. Emi was already in a coma. Miho had already given in fully to the Nishizumi style and her hate for her. What was gonna change by her pushing herself pointlessly over and over like this? She glanced towards the door, her bag lying limp on the floor beside it. She could just go. She could just grab her things and leave, get on a ferry and find some place to hide in Hokkaido. Maybe she could even make her way to Iwo Jima. That would at least buy her a few months.

She sighed, and got up from the bed. She got herself dressed, and began throwing whatever she could think of needing into her bag. She was being stupid. She had been like this for ages. Did she really think she could just up and change like that? She was done, beaten and unable to stand back up, no matter how much she wanted to.

Grabbing the packed bag, she headed to the door. But as she put her hand on the handle, she paused. In the corner of her eye, down on the kitchen counter that ran the length of the hall, sat a small, bandaged teddy bear. Miho's old teddy bear. No, not a teddy bear… What was it called again…

She picked up the small bear and held it in her hand, looking at it with both affection and curiosity, trying for the life of her to remember what it was Miho had called it all those years ago, and why it was supposed to be special from any other stuffed animal.

After a few minutes of racking her brain to the point of annoyance, she found a name in the recesses of her mind that sounded right. Boko, wasn't it? But still, why was it supposed to be important? It was just a bear after all. A small stupid stuffed bear, who couldn't even fight properly considering his wounds and bandages.

"Stop staring at me. I know what I'm doing." She glared back at the blank, glassy eyes of the bear, who just ignored her warning and continued to stare up at her. She in turn continued to glare down at it as if they were having a staring contest, before rolling her eyes. "I said cut it out. I've been defeated, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm done, and nothing you say can stop me."

The staring continued, and it made her uncomfortable. As if the blasted bear was staring right into her soul. "I SAID CUT IT OUT!" she yelled, and hurled the bear across the room. It bounced of the window, and fell limply down onto the table, where it somehow managed to sit itself down perfectly, taking up its blank stare at Maho once again.

"So… that's how you want to play it, huh?" Maho scoffed, dropped her bag, and walked over to the table, picking the bear up once more. "Well, are you gonna stay down after this?" She threw the bear as hard as she could into the wall beside her bed, but as it landed, the bear still sat itself back up and stared at her.

By this point she was getting more angry with the bear's refusal to give up and stay down than she was with anything else. She picked the bear up for a third time, but this time she noticed something. Something she hadn't exactly missed before, but instead had mostly ignored. As she held the bear, turning it from side to side she realized that it's weight was unevenly distributed. It had been made specifically so that it would always sit itself back up. Right, she thought, that was it, wasn't it? Boko always got back up. That was the point of him, wasn't it?

"Fine. Be like that then, you stupid bear…" she muttered, and sat the bear back down on the counter as she walked back out the door.

"I'm really doing this, aren't I?" Maho said to herself and sighed as she looked at the large building before her. "Am I really going to be this stupid?"

Apparently so, she thought and steeled herself as she walked through the large green metal doors, and into Ooarai's Sensha-Do garage. Despite the fact that it was still early in the day, and school hadn't yet let out, the building was full of activity and noise.

At first Maho just stood there in silence and looked. Running back and forth with tools and machinery between the tanks was a group of girls in orange jumpsuits. As far as Maho could tell, they were making themselves incredibly busy repairing the tanks. So, these are the unseen mechanics? Figures that the pipsqueak wouldn't get proper mechanics for something like this…

"Oh, hiya! Can I help you?"

"Huh?" Maho turned to face the girl who had spoken to her. She was a short girl, standing half a head shorter than Maho, with short brown hair and a cheerful but serious expression on her face. She wore an orange jumpsuit like the rest of them, and held a large wrench over her shoulder like a rifle. "Oh, n-no," Maho answered. "I'm just staring. Don't let me distract-"

"Nonsense, we're doing quite well, so some distraction is just welcome, anyways, what can I do for ya?" the girl chirped in answer at a remarkable speed, and held out a hand. "The name's Nakajima Satoko by the way, in case you didn't know already."

"Maho," Maho answered shortly, and shook the girl's hand. It seemed that Nakajima was quite the motormouth, true to her name.

"Oh, right. You're the commander! The President mentioned you a few times, but I guess this is the first time we've actually met, pleased to meet ya, although you're in luck I'm don't hold a grudge with the condition some of those tanks came back in, not to worry though"

"Yeah, that's me…" Maho muttered. She didn't like thinking of herself as the commander, seeing as she had quit and wasn't exactly planning on returning, but for now she figured maintaining the facade was the easiest way to not get herself thrown out.

"Hey, guys! Get yourselves over here! We've got a visitor!"

"Oh, no, that's not really necessa-"

"Of course it is. You oughta know who bangs out the dents you keep causing, dontcha?" Nakajima gave Maho a friendly jab in the side with her elbow, and waved the rest of her companions over.

For the next couple of minutes, Maho was bombarded by introductions. Apparently the school's automotive club was pulling double duty as the team's mechanics, and were in the process of repairing the tanks after the Saunders-match. Whatever else Maho might think, she had to admit that it was rather impressive, with just the four girls working on an arsenal with more members than themselves.

Nakajima seemed to be the leader of the quartet, and swiftly introduced her companions. Hoshino was almost as tall as Maho, with black hair and the top half of her overalls tied around her waist, revealing a white tank top underneath. Something Maho found surprising, considering the oil, muck, and grime splotched across the overalls.

Suzuki was a rare sight to behold, both because of her tanned skin, and because she was a bit taller than Maho, something not many could boast about being. She had reddish brown hair in a short and messy haircut, and carried an excited and friendly smile all throughout the introductions.

Finally there was Tsuchiya, a girl of average height and a slightly awkward and sheepish, but still friendly, attitude. She was, like the rest of her comrades, perfectly civil, even if she had a tendency to drift off on tangents about engines and other mechanical topics. It was abundantly clear that, while she might be capable of carrying a conversation, she would much prefer to have her eyes occupied with staring at an engine block rather than acquiring eye contact with other people.

Once the introductions were over, the conversation continued for a few awkward minutes as the group asked Maho about the damage the tanks had incurred and when she wanted them back in action.

"Uhm… You can… you can just take your time. No rushing on our behalf…"

"Oh, well that is excellent news. We've kinda been busting our asses of trying to get them done for ya, but if that's the case we'll probably be able to have them done for ya at the start of next week, although we've already got some of it done I suppose if you want to bring them out for some partial training, like the Panzy over there, quite the bad luck with the tracks, but nothing we can't handle…"

Maho glanced over to where Nakajima had pointed to see what "panzy" she was talking about, and saw the Panzer IV standing in it's usual spot. Although it didn't look quite as it had done before.

"You got it upgraded to the ausf. F2?" she said absentmindedly as she walked over towards the German medium tank, interrupting Nakajima.

"Oh yeah, some of the team found that gun-barrel and some other spare parts a few days back, so we went ahead and installed it while we were doing the repairs, she should be in fully working order, so if you want to take her out for a spin she's all ready to go, in fact you'd be doing us a favor since it gives us some more space to work on the duck-looking one, with all that water and rust on it it's gonna take some time to fix her up, but we enjoy a challenge so no worries there, commander, although we probably won't have it done until your next match, but hey, at least you'll have some nice firepower going into the semis."

Maho received another nudge in the side from Nakajima, who now pointed over to a lone corner of the garage where a tank in a sorry-looking state was standing. After a second or two, Maho recognized it as a French Char B1 bis under all the rust and algae covering it.

Nakajima would probably have continued the conversation, although it was really more of a monologue, ad infinitum if it hadn't been for a crashing sound over at the other end of the garage.

"Oh, so sorry, commander, but I really gotta go and help with this, or we won't get any of this done 'til christmas, but it's been real nice getting to meet ya and I hope you're satisfied with our work, so if there's ever anything you need you just give me a holler and I'll see what we can do about it." She turned on a dime and began running over towards the noise where Maho could see the other members of the club start to gather as well. "Suzuki, no, I'll come and help ya, just stay right there or you'll throw your back out again, Tsuchiya, you take that end, and Hoshino, you get the crane, now, everyone, on three…"

Seeing as the situation was at the least being handled, even if it was perhaps not under control, Maho returned her attention to the Panzer IV before her. For a moment she remembered when she had first stood in the garage and gazed upon the bluish grey machine, and just like back then, her hand reached out towards the tank. Even after all this time, she couldn't explain it, but it was as if there was some kind of magnetic force dragging her towards it, and as her hand came within an inch or two of actually touching the front armor plating, the same thing happened. Memories and images of the Panzer III sliding over the edge and into the river, taking Koume and Emi with them to a watery tomb, and herself simply standing there, hesitating. Her hand recoiled as if shocked by electricity, and it was only by the full strength of her mental fortitude that she managed to stop herself from jumping back several paces.

She felt her breathing speed up along with her heartbeats, and simply stood there for a minute, trying to take deep breaths to calm herself. She grit her teeth and steeled herself, before making another attempt, reaching out a hand to try and touch the hull. She tried averting her eyes from the metal plating, but still she could feel a tingle in her fingertips as she got closer. She tried her best to push through it, but in the end it became too much.

She made several more attempts over the next hour or so, until finally she felt her fingers touching against cold steel. This however only brought on more problems. The images continued to flash in her mind, the Panzer III sinking interspersed with images of herself struggling for breath in the dark and murky waters, and that shortness of breath quickly made itself known to her body in the present as well. She tried and tried to remain in place, but in the end she needed air, and was forced to recoil from the tank to gather herself again. She didn't make another attempt for at least half an hour, probably longer.

Even as she glanced at the Panzer IV from where she had sat herself down against the wall of the garage, she could feel her breathing getting more rapid, and so she averted her gaze, bowing her head and sighing as she cursed herself.

Why am I even doing this? And if I'm going to insist on being this stupid and obstinate, why don't I at least take the stupid pills? If I just put whatever that stuff is in me, then I'd be able to handle this just fine...

But of course, she knew why she wasn't taking them. They took her head on a dark and unpleasant ride, and made the little tyrant within her much easier to bring out. The one she was trying with all her might to evict.

She glanced over towards the other end of the garage, where the automotive club girls were busy trying to reattach the turret to the M3 Lee. They didn't seem to mind her presence, nor really keep track of the fact that she was thee. Sighing, she remembered Miho's old teddy bear, and how it seemed to refuse to stay down. It just kept sitting itself back up, and she would be damned if she was defeated by an old stuffed toy. Swearing under her breath, she got up and steeled herself. She took a few confident strides towards the Panzer IV once more, took a deep breath, and stretched out her hand.

At first her hand only tingled slightly, as if she was nearing an electric fence.

But she pushed on.

Then it started shaking.

She pushed on.

A jab of pain pierced her fingers.

She pushed on. She was getting close, she could feel it.

Then there it was. Cold, rough steel. The armor plating of the Panzer IV.

Her mind was a vivid cinema of imagery, flashing like a horror-film in her head and driving the breath from her chest as if she was being punched in the stomach.

But she pushed on. She wasn't going to run. Not this time. She was tired of running, and she was going to prove Koume wrong. She was going to prove her mother wrong. She would prove Miho, and Erika, and the pipsqueak, and the whole entire world how wrong they were.

Her breaths had become nothing but panicked chips at this point, feeling as if her lungs were filling with water.

But she didn't care. She pushed on.

Even as she felt the final reserves of air leave her lungs, and blackness began to cloud her vision, she pushed on.

She grit her teeth, and gave a final, inaudible roar as she pushed her other hand through the invisible barrier, and slammed her palm against the front armor plate of the Panzer IV.

The barrier blocking her seemed to weaken, and the imaginary water in her lungs seemed to clear. Her breathing became easier, even if it was still a struggle. But she could at the very least breathe again, and as she remained in place, slowly trying to calm her breathing and her heart, she managed to push through even that.

She chuckled softly to herself. It wasn't easy. It wasn't going to be going forwards either. But she had done it. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless.


"This charade is getting old, don't you think so, Maho?"

Maho couldn't really answer in her current situation, her purple flaming clone pinning her against a wall with an arm against her throat, burning her skin with the heat of a thousand suns. She tried to struggle against the chokehold, but the lack of air and the searing pain of even touching her foe made resistance impossible.

"Getting feisty, are we? Such a pity. You should know by now that you're a failure and a weakling who can't do a thing to help herself. Not to mention anyone else." It grinned at her as it spoke with her mother's voice. "Now, why don't you simply cease to be? Or are you somehow even capable of failing at that?" It pulled back its other hand, and struck her right through her chest.

Maho awoke with a gasp back in the alleyway, clutching at her heart. She's right, this is getting old, she thought. But what could she do? She had tried every option she could think of, and with this having been far from her first round against the doppelganger this night, she was nowhere near in peak condition.

She sighed, and curled herself up tight against some crates to minimize how much of the freezing rain could fall on her. Not that it helped very much. It still cut her skin like razorblades wherever it touched, and chilled her to her bones even where it didn't. She was tired. She felt like she was just walking into one wall after the other, and she was getting tired of it.

"I must say, I admire your tenacity. There's the girl we know and love. Still, your technique could use some work."

The sizzling sound of rain on flames interrupted her thoughts, and she could do nothing but sigh and roll her eyes. Glancing up, she saw her mirror image standing beside her, Kuromorimine uniform and all. Maho didn't bother to answer, and instead just looked away.

"Not feeling very talkative, are we? No worries, I'll be happy to wait until you feel better."

"It's not about feeling better," Maho muttered. "I'm never gonna feel better."

"True. At least not with the way you keep trying to destroy whatever's left of us."

"What do you mean I am trying to destroy me? It's not my fault, it's mother's. She's the one who put me in this prison of pain."

"See, haven't I told you to stop lying? It doesn't work on me. We've been through this, maho."

"What are you talking about. I'm not lying."

"Perhaps not in full. Mother might have been the architect of our pain. But you were the one who built the prison. You were the one who decided to lock yourself away from the rest of the world, content to live the rest of your life trapped in the cell you created for yourself, instead of going out into the world and meeting people, fighting and living and just being yourself."

"Shut up…" Maho muttered. "You don't know what I'm going through."

"If you say so. Still, doesn't mean you can't let me help. It's us we're talking bout after all-"

"I don't want your help!" she growled. "I don't want help, and I don't need help. I just want to be alone. I'm Maho Nishizumi, and I can handle this by myself!"

With that she got up, pushed her doppelganger out of the way, and walked out from the alleyway, off to walk right into another wall. Just as she intended to keep doing until she got through.


The sound of an explosion.

The clatter of a spent shell ejecting from the barrel and onto the floor.

The arduous struggle of reloading.

Taking aim once again.

Squeezing the trigger.

The sound of an explosion.

Rinse.

Repeat.

Maho paused for a moment, jumped up through the hatch and down to the ground, and wiped the sweat from her brow. It was exhausting work, but she had to do it. It wasn't exhausting just because of the weight of the shells, or the unintuitive motions she had to perform to reload from the gun. It was also exhausting for her to merely exist in the tank. She was slowly getting better at it, but she still needed to take breaks every now and again to not lose her breath entirely.

Every minute she spent inside the metallic beast was agony. The scars on her back burned and her head was filled by taunting remarks by her mother's voice, but she persevered. Each moment was a battle, another skirmish in the war for her life, and she was winning it. It might be a pyrrhic victory, but it was going to be a victory. That was all she was craving.

She sat herself down on a stump a few meters from the tank and poured some water from a bottle over herself, before taking a sip of the remaining contents. She was sweaty, she was hot, and she was beyond all tired. Her breathing was ragged and her muscles ached. It was like she had run a marathon, but all she had done was fire the tank's gun over and over again for the past few hours.

She sighed, and wiped the sweat and water off herself with the towel she had brought. This was her fourth day out here in the woods of the Zuikaku, her second of gunnery practice. She had started off with driving, since that was the least physically demanding, noting out a couple of paths through the forest and racing through them as quickly as she could. She would have liked to press her time down further, to get it to an acceptable point, but shortly after lunch the pressure inside her had built up and she couldn't stay inside the tank anymore. She ate the sandwiches she had brought, and read Ami's thesis on Sensha-Do warfare for what must have been the 8th or 9th time by now, which gave her an hour or two to calm her nerves, before taking the Panzer IV back to the garage.

The second day was gunnery and loading, like today. She had found a group of rocks during her driving that would serve as suitable enough targets, and so she set the tank up at near maximum range. Aiming and firing wasn't the big issue, that all came back to her rather quickly. But reloading the gun was a different matter entirely. She was either having to contort herself to reach the shells and then push them into the breach, or she would have to pause in between each shot to crawl up into the commander's seat and then back down into the Loader's position to load the shell, and then back around again. At least when she had done this sort of practice as a child or at Kuromorimine, the tanks had been customized with autoloaders to allow her to focus on aiming and firing.

If she had stuck with driving during the second day, she could have probably kept it up through the day before hitting her limit. But the added physical strain proved to take its toll. Much like the day before, she didn't get much further than lunch before she was forced to give up. She had eaten what little food she had brought, taken an hour or two to draw in her sketchbook, and returned the tank to the garage.

But the third and fourth days had begun to provide results. She was still nowhere near as good as she had once been, and she was still forced to take a number of breaks through the day. But at least she could go from sunrise to sunset, and the breaks grew fewer and further between as she kept it up.

She picked up the set of binoculars her father had given her for Christmas shortly before he passed, and looked over towards the rocks she had used as targets. Her aim was tightening, that much was obvious when comparing the targets she had fired on two days ago compared to today. It still wasn't perfect however. Which meant it was nowhere good enough. She needed to get this right again. She needed to make sure she was perfect again. She wasn't going to let another slip-up like the Saunders-match happen again.

The only reason they got to keep going through the tournament was because the federation had found an error in the software of the enemy flag-tank. They had gotten lucky. And Maho knew they couldn't depend on luck to win this. Not to win any of the upcoming matches, and especially not if they were going to beat Miho. Luck was not a factor. Only skill would determine this.

She emptied the water bottle and returned it to her bag, getting up and walking over towards the Panzer IV. She steeled herself for a moment, taking a deep breath to brace herself, and reached out a hand to push through.

But she was interrupted. The cracking of a branch, the pittering of small rocks being disturbed, and a voice.

"So, this is where you've been hiding out…"

She turned to face the intruder, and was not in the least surprised to see Yuzu sitting herself down on the stump she had just occupied.

"Do you not have anything better to do than spying on me all the time?" Maho muttered.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself. My jacket buttons up tight over a number of duties, Maho. You just happen to be on the list," Yuzu answered with an innocent smile. "Besides, theft of school property is a serious charge. As Vice President it is my duty to investigate such matters."

"I haven't stolen anything."

Yuzu gave a pointed look over Maho's shoulder to the Panzer IV behind her.

"I'm only borrowing it," Maho said matter-of-factly. "I needed to train. Still do."

"If you want to train with a tank, you're free to join the Sensha-Do team, Miss Nishizumi. I'm sure your joining would be most appreciated, since we seem to be without an experienced commander. At least, now that our last one quit."

"Is that so?" Maho muttered.

"So, what's going on?" Yuzu asked as she nonchalantly flipped through the pages of Maho's sketchbook. "Does this mean you're rejoining the team? Or are you just doing whatever you want as usual?" She raised an eyebrow, and flipped the sketchbook around. "I gotta hand it to you, you can certainly draw. Is this a new insignia you've been working on? Seems fitting."

"Give me that," Maho growled and snatched the sketchbook from her hands, taking a quick look at the sketch before closing the sketchbook once more. "And I don't know. I can't join right now. Not as I am, anyways."

"Why not? You're far better than anyone else on the team, and we're gonna need you if we're gonna win the rest of the tournament."

"Better isn't perfect," Maho muttered, and put the sketchbook down in her bag. "And I'll have to be perfect for this to even come close to something that can be done. Not good, not great. Perfect."

"So then why not rejoin the team?"

"Because it's my fault we lost! I screwed up, and Ooarai almost paid the price. I didn't check the treads of the Panzer IV properly, and they snapped because of it. If it hadn't been for the federation overturning the results because of some pesky computer error we would have lost, and that would have been it. We'd be done, right? MEXT would show up here and close this place down, and it would all be my fault."

"Oh…" Yuzu looked upon Maho with sudden understanding. So that's what you've been thinking happened…"

"Of course it is! What did you think this has all been about?!"

"Maho, it wasn't your fault that the treads snapped."

"It was. I should have seen that the connector rod needed replacing and-"

"No, I'm serious. It wasn't your fault. Saunders cheated, and not just with the radio interception-ballon. One of their juniors got overzealous in trying to make sure they won, and sabotaged the Panzer IV. Kay came by last week and conceded the match to us the moment she found out."

"Then why not tell everyone? Or is this just another case of you and your colleagues making up stories to get me to do what you want?"

"It's not. I can show you the official documents. As for why we haven't told anyone, I don't know. It was the President's decision. I think she didn't want to drag Kay through a scandal like this, especially when she already apologized and conceded. But still. Even if it had been your fault, who cares? You don't have to do all this alone, you know that right? We all can help one another-"

"I don't need help," Maho answered sharply. "I need to be perfect, and I need to do this alone. If I can't, then it's only proof that I'm as weak as my mother and sister think I am. I need to do this by myself."

Yuzu chuckled slightly to herself, and got up from the stump. "You know, I don't think there's weakness in admitting that you need help. I don't think there's weakness in admitting that you're not perfect. It takes incredible strength to face the fact that you have flaws. To understand that there are things you just can't do by yourself." She put a hand on Maho's shoulder. "And I think you believe that too. You've just been convinced, either by others or yourself, that that's not the case. We all have flaws and things we can't do. At least not alone. I can't crew the entire 38(t) by myself, just as you can't man the Panzer IV alone." She let go of Maho's shoulder, and turned to leave. "We all need people to grow bigger. Some, like your mother, think you should simply step on others, but we reach far greater heights when we're holding each other up."

"So, does that mean you're going to expel me for theft?" Maho muttered.

Yuzu stopped in place a few meters away, turning back to face Maho. "Well, I suppose there won't be anyone around to notice that the tank is missing until when the training all starts up again on monday. A pen or box of erasers is one thing, but if I were to receive a report of something as valuable as a tank being found missing, I suppose I would need to launch an investigation."

She turned around again, and walked away from the small clearing in which the conversation had taken place. "Oh, and I do hope you reconsider joining the team. Without anyone of your expertise, we would have to resort to letting Momo take command."

Maho glared after the Vice President for a moment, before scoffing and going back to her training regimen.


"Alright, you win," Maho muttered through the deafening rain, "I'm open to suggestions."

She had run out of options, and by now she was angry enough by her lack of progress against her nightmarish hunter that she would accept almost anything.

"Happy to hear it," her reflection answered, and jumped down from the ruined wall she had been sitting on. "Here, let us finally join forces," it said, and held out a hand.

Maho looked dubiously at the hand that was offered her. "What's the catch?" she asked.

"No catch. Just what you wanted. A suggestion, and a way for us to finally beat that amethyst abomination."

Maho sighed, and gave her twin another look. "Before I agree to anything, what's your plan? You distract her while I climb onto the Tiger and take her out?"

"Not quite," it answered with a smile. "When I say 'join forces', I meant it literally." The skin on its fingertips flew off in the form of embers, then it continued up the hand, its arm, and soon all of the reflections skin was scattering through the air, as rain fell and sizzled against the flames of its bodies. "We are each one part of a whole. All you need to do is accept that, and I promise you, we will prevail."

"You mean…"

"Indeed."

"Your plan is to possess me?" Maho asked in exasperation. "No deal."

"Nothing of the sort. You are still you, and so am I. As I have always been. All I ask is that you accept what has always been. Accept that you and I coexist, and you will have power and strength far beyond what the other Maho could ever possess. That is what scares her, and it is also what can defeat her."

Maho looked down at the obsidian flames held out towards her, weighing her options. Or rather her lack of options.

"It's going to hurt, isn't it?"

Her doppelganger nodded. "It will. It always hurts to change, but there can be no growth without burning down the rotten structure underneath. You've asked for your troubles to be burned away, and that is what I offer us."

Seconds passed. Then a minute. Then two.

Maho sighed. "Alright. I'll trust you. Me. Us. Whatever. Just… just tell me you're sure about this."

"Are you? That's all that matters."

Maho paused for a moment, but nodded. "I am."

She took the flaming hand, and grasped it tight. The flames crawling up along her skin as her doppelgangers form began to recede, slowly covering her in its black fire.

There was indeed pain, the pain of flames licking against skin and the immolating fire creeping up along her arm and across her body. She wanted to scream, but she gritted her teeth and pushed through. She was done with running. She would push through no matter what it took, and no matter the pain.

Soon all of her was engulfed in the flames, and the pain neared its zenith. She wasn't sure she could take more, but the flames were preparing for the coup de grace. They seemed to almost seep through her pores and inside her, burning her skin and turning it to ash that was swept away by the rain falling on her body. The pain was excruciating, and she could take no more.


Her eyes flew wide open, and she found herself in her bed. Outside she could see sunlight, and the chirping of birds could be heard as she picked up her phone from the nightstand beside her. It was indeed morning, but something felt off. There wasn't any pain. She rose from the bed, and there was no jabbing pain through her chest, no creeping itch across her skin, nothing.

All she could feel was a fire burning its way through her, but not one of pain and destruction. These flames promised energy and life, and she felt stronger and more powerful than she had ever done before. Like she could take on an entire Sensha-Do team by herself, without a tank.

A smug smirk appeared on her face as she looked down at her open palm, and grasped at the air as she closed it into a fist.

She knew what she would do, and she knew who and what she was.


Yuzu sighed as she reached the Sensha-Do teams garage together with the rest of the Student Council and saw the commotion. The Panzer IV was indeed gone.

It would seem she hadn't been able to convince Maho. Which in and of itself was a shame, seeing as she was without a doubt the best tanker on the team. But the fact that she had taken the Panzer IV with her, that was indeed a blow.

Yuzu was halfway through calling the Public Morals Committee to tell them to search the carrier bow to stern after Maho and the missing tank when she heard something. Evidently she was not alone, as the rest of the team also began to quiet down at the sound.

It was a rumbling sound. The sound of an engine driving heavy tank treads across the ground, and a moment later it became clear from whence it came.

The Panzer IV, with its new long gun, came rolling around the corner, and coming to a halt before them. Bar the new gun, it looked just like it had before the match against Saunders, without a scratch or dent on it. There was only one difference; the insignia. Emblazoned across the side of the tank's turret was a symbol of an animal.

A Phoenix


Next Time on Dein Weg ist Mein Weg: The return of Maho and the Panzer IV leads to some conflict within the team, just as the preparations for the match against Anzio start up, and Maho tries to make the best of a bad situation.


Author's Notes:

A long chapter once again this week, and one hell of a challenge to write. I had some real life-stuff pop up this week and so didn't have quite as much time to write as I usually do, but I still think it turned out pretty well. This chapter marks the turning point in the story. Maho has now firmly hit rock bottom, and there's nowhere to go but up.

I've really loved getting to read all your speculation and theorizing on what happened to Maho or who would have saved her, but sadly no one was quite right. Some of you definitely got details right though, which I highly applaud.

As always, hearing your continued thoughts is greatly appreciated, so leave a review if you'd like, and I'll see you all back here next week!

Until then, au revoir!

/Rihno