"You look awful," Winter says. I stare down at my feet. I know she's still staring at me in her mirror. "I'm shocked father is letting you walk around like that."
I don't say anything. Maybe I shouldn't be here.
"Are you alright?" Winter presses. Her heels scare me. They're loud. "Honestly, Whitley, you look awful."
"I'm scared," I whisper.
Winter hugs me. It's startling. I didn't think she liked me much.
"We all are," She says. She sounds like mom. I want to cry. "But you will be alright. I promise. However...you do need to come downstairs. Father wants us all to come down for a company press release now that the acquisitions have been approved. Mother, Weiss, and Cate are already down there. I thought it'd be best if I came to fetch you. Mother….is still not feeling well and of course father would like to keep a rather close eye on Cate and Weiss."
I start to follow her. I don't want to. I want to stay here. I want mommy to come hug me. I don't want to go to this. I don't like company things. They're scary. People stare. They take pictures of us. And they're loud. Noise scares me. They flash a lot of bright lights too. Father lies too. He says everything is okay. It's not okay. Mommy's sick. She doesn't drink anymore. She hasn't had wine in months. It's been….three or four months since the ball? Cate is still hurt. Weiss doesn't talk to me anymore. Winter's never home. It's scary to be home alone all the time. I'm always alone now. I hate it. I want to cry a lot. When I cry, father says I shouldn't. He says it doesn't help. He says it's pointless. Maybe it is. I still cry. It's too hard. I hate school too. People still don't talk to me. I feel stupid when I talk. I probably shouldn't talk. There's no reason to talk. Nothing good happens when I talk. People are mean. They still hate me. It's easier to be silent. No one needs to know what I think. I play alone. I play piano alone. I read alone. I spend most of my time alone. It's better that way.
No one can hurt me if they never hear me. It's easier just to...just to disa...disappear.
"Though of course this acquisition has been good for business, we are certainly happy to announce that we are going to be able to take time to be closer as a family," Father looks really happy. What happened? Did he and mommy stop fighting? "Though we have kept it a secret for the past several months, shortly after the SDC charity ball, Willow and I learned that we will be bringing our fifth child into the world in June of this year."
Fifth….child? Mommy's going to have a baby?
"Because of this," Father lets go of mommy's hand. She steps away from him. She doesn't look happy. I think she might have been crying? "Willow and I are going to refocus ourselves to ensure our children's security, and, while I am going to remain as publicly active as ever, we are going to place the majority of our salaries this year into opening the trust fund of our new child."
"You're going to make a baby a multimillionaire before they're even born?" Cate suddenly exclaims. She's shaking. Is she scared? Her southern accent is really there. She must be scared….or upset? Maybe she's angry? I don't know. I don't think I ever know. "That cannot be a healthy way for a child to grow up! They'll never --"
"Cate Lynn, please, take your medication," Father says. He looks angry at her when people aren't looking. He turns back to the cameras. "My eldest daughter was recently revealed to be self destructive and troubled. We are doing everything we can to protect her and keep her safe. She has, after all, been through terribly much."
People start whispering. They sound like they feel bad.
"This has nothing to do with that," Cate hisses, clenching her fists. "You and mommy raised me and Winter like normal kids, but then the SDC got big and you decided that money was the most important thing. You even revealed you don't actually love her, and you're the reason she was admitted into the hospital back in --"
"Lynn!" Winter turns to Cate. She only calls her that when she wants her to be happy. She hugs her and starts stroking her hair. Mommy comes over and squeezes her shoulder. Is Cate crying? I think she's crying. "I know it's been hard," Winter whispers. Father starts talking again. "But we have to be careful."
"Yes," Mommy whispers. She looks like she's going to cry too. Weiss looks scared. She's the one closest to father. He probably is going to slap Cate later. He does that to Winter. Maybe he won't. She's always been his favourite. "We can talk about this later, love."
"...I understand these last few months have been difficult for so many people, especially as Atlas has started to slip into a recession," Father doesn't seem to notice Cate. Or Winter. Or mommy. "But things are likely to swing upwards if the predictions of our country's leading economists are correct. The SDC will do its part in helping develop the economy and hire more people, not only in the mines, but in the refineries, in the transportation, and the retail sectors."
"Mister Schnee!" A reporter says. Cameras are flashing. People are talking again. "When you said your eldest is troubled, what exactly did you mean by that?"
"I mean she has been behaving erratically, and it is because of the break in about ten months ago," Father says. He looks upset. I think he's lying. "As I said, she has been through a great deal of trauma in the last few years, and I'm afraid this has only worsened that. She is about to graduate university, however she has rescinded her own acceptance into law school without warning. It has been a disappointment, but, of course --"
"Yes, I know!" Cate's high voice breaks, and tears fill her eyes. She doesn't seem to want to act anymore. She's sick of lies. I am too. Her eyes look weird though. I think they're sparking. Her hands are shaking, too. "I'm sorry! I know I've fucked up terribly and should have done better but I just can't! I know you're not proud of me, but I can't figure out how to do it! I'm sorry! For everything! I just wish you wouldn't make it sound like you're not disappointed in me or think I've failed when I know that you --"
"Cate --" Weiss starts, looking upset. She tries to hug her but Cate moves away. She looks scared.
"Weiss, no…"
Winter steps between them and she looks scary. Cate swallows hard, all but slams her glasses into her face, and then runs off clutching her scroll. We can see her go and get her car. She drives off really quickly. I'm scared now. I turn around to look at my parents. Father looks shocked. I don't think he's ever not known what to do. He always has something to say. He always controls things. That's why he makes it better, right? He keeps us safe. Everyone starts talking. Mommy stares in horror. She doesn't stay long. She runs back into the manor. Winter, Weiss, and I can't move. Winter swallows. Father lets her start talking. People trust her. I think she's lying though. She said she does it because we have to. Why do we have to lie? Weiss stands next to her and father. I want to go run after mommy. I don't. Father grabbed my shoulder. He doesn't want me to move. I'm too scared to move. Everything is too bad.
"I am going to find my sister," Winter says, sighing. "I ask that everyone be understanding. She is not in a good place and we have all been doing our best to support her. For one reason or another, she has developed a deep mistrust of many people and occasionally that extends into the family.
"It is as hard on her as it is on everyone else. She has also been struggling with feeling pushed aside in her own family, and this is in large part due to the media pressing hard into our lives and especially mine and hers because we are the eldest.
"I will not deny that this media attention has done a great deal of damage to me as well, and the truth is it has made it difficult for me to continue quite often even when I am trying to focus on my military career and studies at Atlas Academy. The constant intrusion into our personal lives, including the speculation on who she and I are in romantic relations with, is absolutely causing issues for us. Weiss, Whitley, and our new sibling have not been raised the way she and I were, before we had everything we do. It all has happened head head-spinnngly fast for us, and I ask everyone to please be cognisant of that. We are trying….but things are difficult right now. For all of us."
I don't hear the rest of what she says. It's too much. Everything really is a fight or a lie.
I cry when we're alone again and mommy gets upset when she sees the night news headline:
Cate Lynn Schnee arrested with presumed girlfriend Anna Wires, following the couple being caught at the scene of a bank heist. Schnee allegedly tried to shoot police, and supposedly just an hour ago in the hospital with an officer's own gun. No word yet on Schnee or Wires' conditions, but they are believed to have been extremely drunk.
My family sucks. Why did this have to happen? Why does everything have to be a lie or a fight?
"We had a perfect life," Father says to mommy. She doesn't say anything. She moves away from him.
Everything is wrong.
