Entry 73: I just lost a day of my life

I should have seen this coming. I really should have seen this coming. But the thought hadn't even crossed my mind until a possessed Ginny was leaning over my paralysed body.

I was petrified.

You know, I really thought that my main MS power of the last two weeks would be my ability to sneak around the castle without being caught. Turns out that was just a way for me to become a damsel in distress. For that was what I became when I was taken down into the Chamber of Secrets alongside Ginny.

Not that anyone is telling me much about the experience. The only reason I knew it happened at all was because I pestered Pomfrey into telling me why I had to stay in the hospital wing instead of going to the celebration feast with everyone else who was petrified. She told me she needed to check if I had sustained any injuries in Slytherin's Chamber. It also didn't help my case that my eyes were glowing silver. Again. Pomfrey has now got me under strict instruction to come to her every time my eyes start to glow because it's apparently a health concern or something. I don't get why – surely my father went through something like this when he unlocked his powers, so she has to know it's safe.

Apart from this one small comment about the Chamber of Secrets, people have been hesitant to even say the words around me. Maybe it's because Ginny was in a bed on the other side of the hospital wing and they don't want to remind her of her trauma. Merlin, her sobs were heart breaking.

So, now that I have been released from the hospital wing and once again have access to this journal – which no-one could bring to me in the hospital wing as I charmed my trunk to lock itself after it was so easy to take Tom Riddle's diary from Harry's – I am going to try and piece together some of what happened.

I suppose I should start where I last left off.

Ron told me about his and Harry's encounter with Aragog the evening after it happened. My presumption was right in that Harry didn't tell me a thing about it, but he also isn't outright ignoring me anymore. Sure, we haven't held a full conversation yet, but he's actually looking at me now, talking to me in class and occasionally in the common room. It's only short sentences, but still, progress is progress.

According to Ron, Aragog was a monstrous beast that could strike fear into the hearts of even the bravest of men. I'm pretty sure that Ron's arachnophobia was making him exaggerate this fact somewhat, but I am unsure as to what extent that was. So I have decided to avoid Aragog's clearing at all costs.

Ron also told me about Hagrid's innocence, the Ford Anglia rescuing them and Fang's worried barks when they got back to Hagrid's hut when they returned and I wasn't there. It was at this point that Ron almost started to scold me. Apparently me not being in the hut had made him incredibly stressed, adding onto the stress he was already feeling because of Aragog. Ron also said that Harry went frantic, almost ripping apart the hut trying to search for any signs of a struggle that would indicate I was in danger. My note and the invisibility cloak had been knocked off the table as Fang had bumped into it when running into the hut, eager to see me again. It had taken the boys at least ten minutes to find the note.

I'm slightly confused as to why Harry would have been so frantic though. The only danger I could have been in was if a teacher found me in the hut or if the basilisk had petrified me. The former would mean I was in trouble more than I was in danger, and the latter would have meant that my body was still in the hut. I would have thought that he presumed that I had gone into the Forbidden Forest anyway and was angry at me, but Ron made it seem that Harry was more scared than angry, so that can't be right.

Surprisingly, Ron didn't tell me about Harry's realisation that Myrtle was the girl who died from the basilisk. I'm not entirely sure why this is, but I suppose that he was either trying to keep me out of more trouble, didn't want Myrtle to make the same scene as last time, seeing as she still doesn't like me, or Harry had asked him not to mention it. Whatever the reason, the topic never came up.

Instead, there was just a whole lot of talk about our end of year exams, which, at the time, were still going ahead. I honestly have quite a few problems with this decision. First of all, they decided to tell us about the exams a week before they were going to take place. That does not leave enough time for anyone to properly revise, especially when we have very limited access to the library, which leads me to my second point. Our lesson notes aren't nearly enough to revise from. Sometimes you miss out key information or, in the case of History of Magic, key information isn't given in the lessons and you have to look it up in books. However, with limited time in the library, we didn't always have the resources necessary to revise from. So why did they decide to make it so that the exams were still to go ahead, only to cancel them when all the danger had passed and students had unrestricted access to the library again?

All of these problems meant that the exams were the main topic of conversation nearly all the time, with us either revising, talking about revising, or talking about how unfair the exams were. It took four days for anything else to become the main topic of conversation, when McGonagall announced at breakfast that the mandrakes were ready and that the teachers may soon catch the culprit. I was sat with Fred and George at the time, who both went a bit mad while cheering at the news. Ginny, on the other hand, looked as white as a sheet. She suddenly jerked out of her seat and scampered over to Harry and Ron, sitting next to them.

Besides myself and the first years Ginny had been sitting with, only George seemed to notice Ginny's movements. We shared a look and, not for the first time, I wished I could tell him what was about to happen. That I could spare him and the rest of the Weasleys the pain of thinking that Ginny is gone. But I couldn't.

So, when Percy interrupted Ginny and she ran away, going back to her friends, all I could do was join George as we moved down the table towards her, and fail in our attempt to cheer her up. A minute later, Harry came to join us in our efforts, leaving Ron with his plate full of food. It was the first time that he had spoken to me for longer than a few sentences, putting aside his hurt and anger in an attempt to make Ginny happier.

The next few hours of the day went by fairly normally. Our first lesson, DADA, occurred as it always did, with Lockhart professing that there was no longer any danger. After the lesson, he escorted us to the History of Magic classroom. During these walks, his entire attention tended to be placed upon me. He used the time to give me short revision sessions about how to be famous, as the restrictions meant that he could no longer give me any one to one sessions. Once, he was so engrossed in talking at me (not with me, because I could never get a word in edgewise), he walked us straight past the direction we needed to go in for herbology. We all tried to tell him, but to no avail. Dean and Seamus decided to be brave and ditch the group so that they could make it to the lesson on time. All that resulted in was a furious Professor Sprout marching up to our group with Hufflepuffs, Dean and Seamus in toe, screaming at Lockhart for making us late and allowing two students to sneak off. After that, Filch always joined Lockhart in escorting any students to their next class, much to the displeasure of the whole school.

After History of Magic was break, in which Cedric had invited me to revise in the library with him. Having not seen him in a few weeks (the invite coming through Hannah), I decided to say yes. That decision would prove to be a terrible one.

Binns escorted our class to the Great Hall, where students were to separate into groups based on where they wanted to go. Teachers would then lead these groups to their specific areas. Most of my class headed towards the group for Gryffindor Common Room. Everyone, that is, except Harry, Ron and I. I moved towards the library group (meeting a smiling Cedric there) and Harry and Ron had already ditched the group on the walk into the Great Hall, a fairly easy feat seeing as Binns wasn't really paying us much attention.

Of course, I knew what this disappearance meant. Harry and Ron were off to visit Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, only to be redirected to the Hospital Wing. There they would find a piece of paper in Hermione's hand (how no teachers had spotted it before, I don't know) about basilisks and would put the entire mystery together. At least, I assume that's what happened, because no-one has actually told me.

Looking back, I should have been more careful after Harry and Ron's disappearance. Instead, I let worry for Harry, Ron and Ginny cloud my judgement right at the time I should have been most alert, leading me to letting something slip to Cedric.

The two of us had just sat down at a table in the library and Cedric was talking, surprise surprise, about the exams. Well, it was more of a complaint that, since the culprit would be caught the next day, surely they could ease up on restrictions and allow us more access to the library. Which, now that I think about it, is a really weird thing for Cedric to say. Up until that point he had agreed with all the restrictions the teachers put in place. He could have been stressed about exams I guess, but Cedric's not one to be reckless. Anyway, I hadn't been fully concentrating on what he was saying, nor on my mumbled replies. I was distracted by my worries and was mostly half heartedly giving my own, truthful opinion to whatever topic he brought up. The conversation hadn't required much thought on my part, so I got lulled into a pattern of calmly stating my opinion. So much so that, when the aforementioned topic of easing restrictions came up, my reaction was to mumble that he shouldn't speak too soon.

It took a few moments for my brain to catch up with the words that had left my mouth, too focused on my stress, but it finally processed what I had said when I looked up at Cedric. He was confused as to why I thought something was going to go wrong, as general student consensus had been that the rules would become unnecessary once the mandrakes were ready. After all, surely the danger would have passed at that point. He had probably heard about my opinions about the school exams going ahead from Ernie who, now that he's back in Cedric's good books, looks up to the fourth year like a idol, reporting everything to him and telling me all about how great Cedric is when we're in Herbology. Ernie would have told Cedric that I agreed with most students about exams, so Cedric must have assumed that I would also agree with the popular opinion when it came to the restrictions.

I probably caught him off guard when I implied that I thought that people should still be careful. He started to question me about why I thought this and why I was so sure that there was still danger. I must have sounded pretty certain about my opinion for him to ask the latter of those two questions. He was staring at me, eager and gesturing for me to answer. It really shouldn't have been too difficult to answer him. Just come up with a convincing lie and brush off his questions. But I couldn't do that as my brain decided to short circuit.

How successful I am at lying tends to rely on one major factor: how much time I have been able to spend preparing what I was going to say. My ability to come up with a story so convoluted it has to be true? Brilliant. My ability to keep someone's focus away from the information I don't want them to have? Second to none. My ability to come up with a lie on the spot when someone is fixated on getting an answer? Horrendous. Awful. Terrible. I suppose it helps me in the long term in keeping my big, 'I'm from a different dimension' secret, since people know I'm a bad liar, but it also means that I had no clue what to say to Cedric when he was pestering me. It didn't help that I was already worried about Harry, Ron and Ginny. Add onto that the stress of Cedric figuring out that I know too much? I was a ticking timebomb that exploded pretty quickly. I panicked, cast the disillusionment charm on myself and ran out of the library to the sound of Cedric shouting my name.

I ended up in an abandoned classroom on the third floor. Logically, I knew that I was going to get in massive trouble for running away, but I couldn't bring myself to care in the moment. I also knew that Cedric was going to tell a professor that I had run off and a search party would be sent out to try and find me. Not that they would have any chance to.

"In… there. A person… A person in the… corner." I was so upset that I barely registered the voice that hissed those words. I definitely didn't think about the fact that the voice wasn't that of a professor's or any student I recognised. Next thing I knew, the door behind me creaked open and I heard a few mumbled words. As I turned to look, expecting to see an angry professor, a white light flew at me and my body went stiff. The muttering of the counter for the disillusionment charm followed this light before the possessed body of Ginny Weasley appeared above me, smirking. The levitation charm passed through her lips and I was floated to Myrtle's bathroom. I was positioned in front of a mirror and a few seconds passed. Then my mind went blank.

There, that is all I know of the events of yesterday. I assume the events that happened next went as followed: Professors find a note Tom Riddle left about the abduction of Ginny and myself. Harry and Ron go to Lockhart to give him information to save us, only to find out that he is a fraud. The three then travelled down into the Chamber, Lockhart losing his memory, Harry figuring out that Riddle is Voldemort, defeating him and saving me and Ginny in the processes. Dumbledore returned and Dobby was freed. Then the petrified students were woken up.

Well then, what have I learnt from writing that account out? The events seem to have shifted later in the day, I guess? I'm pretty sure in the original plot Harry and Ron snuck away from Lockhart and not Binns. Ginny also ran out of the Great Hall originally instead of running back to her friends. Does that mean my presence has caused her to have closer friendships within her year? I suppose I managed to get her to open up to Harry a bit more so she wasn't too shy around him. Maybe that somehow made her open up to others too? I'm not too sure. Regardless, her not running out means that she must have done something similar to Ron and Harry and ran away from a professor walking her between classes.

I think something must have happened with my soul magic down in the Chamber as well. Why else would my eyes have been glowing? What's left to figure out is how my magic was triggered while I wasn't conscious to do so. Or maybe, my soul magic is an unconscious act in the first place. The only time I've ever actively triggered it was in the Forbidden Forest that one time and even then it was more like I was letting something out instead of purposely using magic. Therefore, Riddle must have done something to make my magic react, which I highly doubt he would have been able to do accidentally as my soul magic doesn't react to normal spells. Riddle was purposely doing something to me, causing my magic to react.

That suggests that my presence in the Chamber was also purposeful.

I guess that also explains why the basilisk was with Ginny's possessed body. If Riddle was just taking Ginny down into the Chamber, then the presence of the basilisk wouldn't have been necessary and would have probably been more of a hinderance than a help, seeing as Riddle quite easily performed spells in Ginny's body, so he could cast charms at anyone who saw him instead of petrifying them. If Riddle wanted to find me then petrify me, then bringing the basilisk (which has a very good sense of smell) would be the best plan.

Then, that begs the question, why did Riddle want me in the Chamber? And what was he doing that triggered my soul magic?

I'm not sure I'm going to get answers to these questions any time soon. Even if Riddle told Harry his whole plan (a fairly likely event, considering he did so in the book), I highly doubt that Harry would tell me. First of all, he's barely talking to me at the moment, although I'm not sure how him saving me from the basilisk will change things in that regard. Second, my soul magic is a taboo topic. Not only does George react badly to it, but it only serves as a reminder of bad memories for people: my disappearance in the Forbidden Forest, my whole 'diary episode' in the common room and now being taken down into the Chamber with Ginny. Harry would never bring my soul magic up unless it was absolutely necessary. That won't be the case unless it becomes obvious that a revived Voldemort is aware of my soul magic, which gives me at least two years until it somewhat likely to be brought up. I could bring it up myself before then, but I'm not going to do that until my friendship with Harry is back to where it was beforehand. Bringing up a sensitive topic could make him close up again or he would just tiptoe around the topic and me pushing it would do nothing but annoy him.

Now, I've been sat here writing for quite some time, and I can't think of anything else that I could learn from the events leading up to the Chamber. It should be interesting to see peoples' reactions over the next few days. I haven't had the opportunity to speak to anyone yet as everyone bar the Weasleys, the petrified students and Harry were kept out of the hospital wing yesterday and, of those, only Mr Weasley, Mrs Weasley, Ginny and the petrified students were present when I was woken up from petrification, the boys having gone to the feast. Currently everyone else is in lessons and I am to join them in the afternoon, which I am only allowed to do as it's History of Magic so I'll just sleep anyway.

I'll probably write once more before this year officially ends. Then it will be onto making plans for my third year at Hogwarts!

Did I use this chapter as a way to let out my frustrations over how A Levels and GCSEs have been handled this year and last? Maybe. But really, it's almost funny how differently you see the Chamber of Secrets when you've gone through a lockdown yourself.