After his regular morning routine, Zephyr was back out into the field with his happy horde of armed and armored killing machines. Passing minion minors that have converted the old dwarven town into a base, Zephyr continued securing the Golden Hills. Clearing away more of the barricades, he soon found a rather unappealing sight. A slug being melted by a dwarf with a flamethrower. And, of course, Gnarl felt his opinion was required.
"Flamethrowers! Effective at burning everything to a crisp, especially those slugs, I bet. However, sire, the tank is notoriously unstable given the right kind of persuasion."
"Well, it's a good thing I brought the finest negotiators in all the land. FUCK UM UP, BOYS!" As their master willed, the reds moved to distract the dwarf while greens jumped on his back, breaking the tank. The poor runt began to panic, running around in circles while Zephyr willed his minions to be out of the way for the explosion. After the fireworks, he willed his minions to blow open the Durium gates with on hand explosives and moved along his merry way until he found a massive fortress in it.
"The dwarves are fiercely secret about their brewing rituals. This fort must guard the brewery."
"All this just the guard their... Beer? I fucking hate dwarves." He found a tower gate outside of the fort. He quickly claimed it while avoiding the bomb thrower. He noticed that the same kind of gate that blocked him before and had an evil idea. Teasing the bomb thrower, He got him to chuck enough bombs down to help him blast the gates open. Then out stepped a true dwarven warrior, armored in the finest Durium, wielding a mighty ax. He indeed was a rugged image. Zephyr quickly took care of him as he moved on with his day. It wasn't much of a fortress, barely staffed, hardly fortified, when Zephyr owned the place, he would build it up properly. While clearing out the riffraff, Zephyr found two tower objects, a new domination spell, and a health stone. When he returned them to their rightful home, Gnarl was good enough to tell him what the new spell would do.
"Betrayal, dose exactly what it sounds like it dose, master! It makes enemies turn on each other. A joy to watch!" Zephyr swept up the last of the dwarven scum, and then he noticed a bridge leading into the mountain. He then decided to investigate, to Gnarl's narration.
"This is the center of the dwarves brewing operation. Their empire is built on this beverage! Don't expect a welcome mat and a guided tour!"
"Noted, have the fort fully occupied with minions. I don't want to be flanked while I'm in here." Zephyr then entered the mountain, soon, the stink of beer and sweat overwhelmed. The deem lighting also did not help. Zephyr could swear that people lived underground just to spite him.
"The brewery runs straight through the mountain. Goldo's stronghold must be on the other side." Gnarl said another minion said something less profound.
"I smell beer!" Zephyr charged in, legion of terror spell cast, he tor his way through the dwarves, until he found a door he couldn't bash down.
"The dwarves only build their homes underground to stop rain from getting in their beer! Judging by those pipes, this one seems to have a constant supply! Perhaps it's time to sober them up, sire!" Zephyr then willed his minion to flip the switch on the pipes, a band of angry dwarves charged out.
"Ha, he's not happy!' Gnarl said, laughing. Zephyr butchered his way through the place. The deeper he cut his way through, the more obvious it was that it was more than a brewery he was rampaging through. It was a full dwarven city, complete with civilians. They were not actively attacking him, so Zephyr left them alone, for now. While rampaging about, he noticed spokes laying around, knowing what that meant by now, he willed his minions to gather them up. Soon finding the wheel that was missing said spokes next to an elevator.
"This elevator must lead to the lower levels, where they keep the brewing equipment." Gnarl said in a matter of fact kind of way.
"Drunken scoundrels! Obviously, too busy drinking beer to keep up proper maintenance!" Rose said in a more exasperated kind of way.
"One last sweep of the upper aria before we go down." After a quick sweep through, Zephyr found a new shield spell, and he loved everything Gnarl had to say about it.
"The infernal shield is very mean. He'll stun, burn, and generally disintegrate everything he can. You've got to respect that level of dedication to the kill, lord. A word of warning, don't use him near any friendlies, or they won't be friendly for long!"
"That is the single most beautiful thing you have ever said!" Zephyr said, almost on the verge of tears. He pulled himself together and moved on to the elevator. It took him a solid sixteen minutes before he got to the bottom. The dwarves locked up their beer kettle behind impervious doors the moment he did.
"That's the heart of the brewery, sire. If you don't want those dwarves sipping minion flavored beer, I would advise caution." Zephyr looked over the situation. He needed to flip two beer switches, both guarded by crossbowmen. But fortunately, he had the betrayal spell. Once he used it on the guards, it was easy. He looked upon that witch all dwarves would die to protect, and it confused him.
"The beer kettle! Loot this and you'll strike a decisive blow to the dwarves! They can't cope with sobriety! Return it to the tower and your minions will get a permanent boost!"
"And They'll be right terrors to put to bed!" Rose added after Gnarl was done babbling.
"How does an entire empire get its beer from one kettle? Especially one this small!"
"The kettle makes beer so potent that even the dwarves have to mix a drop from the kettle with three gallons to have something that will not kill them in one sipe. It's nothing to laugh about, sire!" Zephyr did not have time to question that. Dwarves, wave after wave of them, charged in, ready to die for the kettle. He and his merry band of minions carved a path through the endless tide of smelly beards until, at last, he managed to get it to the waypoint gate.
"It's ours! Now let's see if that's got their attention!"
"I think we already had that, Gnarl!" Zephyr got back up the elevator and fought his way out of the mountain as fast as possible. Seeing a tower gate, Zephyr moved over to activate it first and foremost, returning to the tower.
"Now, let's give the fucks a day to sober up before we make them squirm!"
"How devilishly sadistic, sire!"
"I'm glad you approve, Gnarl. Now, how about some food?" Zephyr then spent the rest of the day eating and drinking. He felt like he deserved it after taking both a fortress and the legendary kettle for himself.
