Authors Note: I've got a really long one for you guys today because there wasn't a good stopping point. Enjoy!
"I just couldn't believe it," Olivia said as she hauled her fancy London Fog luggage out of the closet. For her usual weekend trips, she would just pack a small duffel bag. This was intense packing. "When John called me and told me he wanted to leave the publishing house in New York I thought he was just blowing smoke. Who would have guessed he was serious?"
John had been an old coworker from the city. I had met him a few times and he was beyond nice. He and Olivia had a lot in common. Both were so driven and determined, great at their jobs. Now, he wanted a change of scenery.
"Him becoming a partner would amp up the company a lot," I sat on her bed as she pulled out the best of her clothes. "But, if he's already willing to come to Seattle, why are you headed back east?"
"That's the big part… there are some writers that we both worked with in the past, writers that I offered to come with me when I left. They only stayed because John was still there. Now that he is leaving they are considering new contracts with us instead." Olivia froze and looked at me with a giddy smile. "Can you believe it? I knew Harbor House Publishing could be something, but I never expected to be able to double our books in such a short amount of time."
"I'm so happy for you, Aunt Liv. This is everything you wanted!" I grabbed a shirt and started rolling it. "So, you're going to be gone the whole week?"
"Yeah," her face fell. "We have to meet with these writers to make sure all the I's are dotted and t's crossed before we make it official. Logistical stuff. Are you sure you're okay staying with Charlie for that long?"
"Of course!" I tucked the blouse into the suitcase. "This is why we have this arrangement, remember?"
"Yes," Olivia said, shaking out a pair of dress pants before folding and rolling. "But I didn't think I'd be gone this much. I haven't even thought of what I'm supposed to do once we partner. Shoot. Should I be looking at an official office space? I only have that little studio space right now and I'm meeting clients at coffee houses." Her hand flew up to her forehead, panic setting in. "What am I doing? I can't do this."
"Whoa, whoa," I stood and pointed at her. "Yes, you can! This is the digital age. Offices are nice and all, but I think you should just get the partnership up and running before anything else."
She shook the fear from her head. "You're right. You're right," Olivia shrugged and kept packing. "Anyway, I know more of the weekends will be spent in Seattle now, or at least until we get situated."
"You need to stop worrying," I laughed. "I have fun at Charlie's. Not to say I won't miss you when you're gone. I just mean, it'll all be okay."
"Thanks, kiddo," she brushed my hair fondly. "I'll be leaving bright and early, so, it's up to you if you want to go to your uncle's house tonight or tomorrow morning."
"Tonight," I said quickly. "Definitely tonight. I would really love nothing more than to sleep in tomorrow. I'll start packing."
…
"- it's Bella. Harry Clearwater was here and he says you have mono? He said I shouldn't call but…" Bella's voice stopped for a moment. I peeked around the corner of my bedroom door and looked into her room where she stood in the middle, facing the back window and talking into her phone. "I just wanted to hear from you. Call me."
"Still nothing?" I called softly from across the hall.
Bella whipped around and looked at me with a depressive look that threw me back to November, in the middle of her zombie-like existence. She had even screamed again last night, like being without Jacob was causing withdrawals. "No. Nothing."
"It's still only been a week and a half," I counted the days in my head. Even I was getting weirded out by his ghosting. "If he's still sick –"
"Why won't he talk to me, though? Has he said anything to you?" Bella stepped closer to me, her desperation seeping through. It was unbecoming of her.
"N-no," my forehead wrinkled as I raised my eyebrows. "But that doesn't mean anything. Stop worrying so much."
"I can't," she whined. "The last time someone stopped talking to me for a week –"
Bella stopped. Whatever she was about to say caused instant pain for her. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what that could possibly be.
"Jacob isn't Edward, Bella." My voice was firm, unwavering and direct. She winced. I scoffed. "Come on. It's been months. If I can't say his name now, then you have seriously reached the point of needing professional therapy. Not everyone in this world is out to leave you high and dry." I looked at my phone to note the time. "Although, on that note, I'm leaving to pick up the pizza. I promised Charlie it'd be here when he gets home from work. Wanna come?"
She shook her head. "No, I've got some reading to do."
I pursed my lips and nodded once before awkwardly stepping away after being a little too 'tough-love' on my poor cousin. Turned out, I had more time than I bargained for. The pizza place was so busy, they were behind. Aaron, still working there for his uncle, said it was great for his pockets, though. Everyone would certainly get bonuses after their hard hustle. For me, it meant sitting in the entry on the benches, patiently waiting.
"Val?" a familiar voice said my name to my left, just entering the restaurant. I looked up and saw Quil Ateara. My eyes took a moment to adjust to his figure. It had been a while since I had seen him, a couple weeks, and – how could a person change so much in a few weeks? He was shorter the last time I had seen him, and much more lanky. He looked… good.
"Damn," I accidently slipped out and shook my head, pretending it never happened. "Quil? Hey, how are you?"
"Pretty good now that I raised that look out of you," he mocked.
"Oh, come on, you surprised me, that's all." I scooted over and motioned for him to join me on the bench. "Don't let it get to your already large ego. You must have really been hitting the gym lately."
Quil's expression flinched for a moment, cracking away the cocky expression just long enough to see something else he was hiding; sadness and pain.
"There hasn't been much else to do," he said, looking straight ahead and not at me. Yet I stared.
I waited for a few seconds before starting my interrogation. "Alright. Spill. What's up?"
"Nothin'," Quil lied. His dark eyes dropped to his lap as he slouched back. "Res is just getting a bit empty feeling lately."
"What do you…" Something dropped like a million pounds in my stomach, and for a moment I thought I was sick. It wasn't the flu, it was nerves and the knowledge that something wasn't right. "Jacob."
That snapped his eyes up to mine.
"Do you know something?" he asked, hopeful.
"The only thing I know is that he's avoiding talking to Bella and I," I clarified, swallowing down the lump in my throat. "Supposedly mono."
Quil shook his head and looked away again, his tone deepening. "It's not mono. He's been at school."
My eyebrow twitched. Jacob and Billy and Harry Clearwater had been lying to us. Who the hell lies about something like that? Clearly my face was obvious in it's confusion, because Quil looked at me and started talking again.
"He came back yesterday. First it was Embry, and now Jacob," Quil said, weighed down and drowning in his thoughts. "I don't know what's happening. My friends – they keep leaving me." His voice cracked at the end and he looked away again, like he was about to cry. If I had known Quil better, I would have pulled him into a hug right then and there. That's all I wanted to do, seeing him hurt like that. I settled for placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing tightly.
"Quil, I promise, I'm going to figure this out. If whatever happened to Embry is happening to Jake, we need to get through to him. He knows how it feels. He was just as hurt when Embry pulled this crap." It was my turn for a cracking voice. I was shaking from the anxiety.
"I've tried," Quil exhaled, defeated. "He says I can't be around him right now and that maybe someday I'll understand. What does that even mean?"
'The way he watches me…what if he comes for me next?' Jacob had asked me with a quivering voice as we stood in his garage when he told me about Embry. I had promised him I wouldn't let that happen. That promise was broken. If Sam got to Embry and Jacob, did that mean Quil was next? I couldn't say that to him, it would only scare him more.
"Owens order to go!"
I jumped while Quil looked up, unphased. Quickly grabbing the hot pizza's and thanking Aaron, I turned back to Jacob's lonely friend.
"Don't worry, Quil." I squeezed his shoulder again. "I'm here if you need anything, okay? We'll… we'll figure this out."
Walking back to my car, I was writhing with anger, shaking. Maybe this wasn't just about Bella. I had originally thought something happened at the movies, but why block out Quil? Unless he was so depressed that he fell into the clutches of Sam's gang…
Before I knew it, I was dialing Jacob's number.
"This is Jacob, leave a message."
Perfect. I could yell at him without getting interrupted. I just prayed he would actually listen to the whole thing.
"What the hell Jacob Black?" I started, dangerously holding the phone in my left hand while steering with my knee when I had to shift with my right. "I know you've been dodging Bella's calls and avoiding talking to either of us and I demand that you tell me why. Nothing is worse than being left behind by someone and not knowing why. Look, I don't know if something happened at the theater between you and Bella, but after everything we've talked about and been through, you can't just cut – shit!" I slammed on the breaks as another car skidded through the intersection due to the heavy rain and cold conditions. "Drive a little slower you freaking prick!" I groaned but was thankful I didn't snub out the engine. "Call me back, Jake, or I swear to all the gods that I will come over there and make you listen."
I hung up and chucked my phone in the backseat.
Stupid Jacob Black.
The instrumentals of Styx 'Come Sail Away' shocked me from the back seat, making me yelp. Of course it would ring now that it was just a bit to far out of reach. I quickly pulled over, stretching in a painful way to reach the phone. After all, it might be Olivia calling to check in from –
Jacob Black.
Stupid. Jacob. Black.
"Hello?" I answered in a rush, breathing heavily. "Jake!"
"Valerie –"
"What the actual hell, Jacob?" I ran a hand through my rain-dampened hair. "You better be ready to explain where you've been."
"Val, are you okay? It sounded like you almost crashed." He sounded genuinely concerned, but I didn't care at the moment.
"I did almost crash but that's not the point," I spat before trying to calm myself. My hand instinctively closed around my necklace pendant. "Jake… what's going on?"
"Don't come here," he ordered, a cold edge making his voice foreign. "You can't be around me. Neither can Bella. I can't be around anyone."
"Those aren't answers," I calmly retorted. "Is this about Bella?"
Silence.
"Look, I know I said I was still working on the whole 'being supportive' thing, but I'm here," I rested my head back and talked at the car roof. "If you need to talk about it, or if something happened at the movies –"
"None of this even matters, Val. Nothing does anymore," Jacob said. I could hear the defeat in his voice. "It's too dangerous. I'm too dangerous. Please, don't call me again. I just… you were right. I'm sorry."
The call ended and I stared at my phone numbly for a minute before mindlessly driving home. I had convinced myself that getting him to talk to me would answer the questions. How wrong I was…
That night, I heard Bella on the phone again, but this time there were pauses. It had to be Jacob. She could hardly speak by the end of the short conversation. She came into my room shortly after it was done with red eyes.
"Val?" Bella said, announcing her presence softly. I looked at her, but she was staring at her fingers that picked at themselves. "Val, can we talk?"
I swallowed and nodded, followed by a quick "Yeah" since she wasn't looking at me.
She sat in the old orange fabric chair in the corner. "I talked to Jacob and he, um… he told me to stay away from him. I think this is all my fault. You were right about the way I've been treating him…at the movies –"
"So, something did happen at the movies." I sleuthed. "Sorry, go on?"
"He wanted to hold my hand –"
Oh, spare me the details.
" – and I was honest about… I told him he was a good friend."
Holy ouch a million times over. I'm sure he loved that.
"He seemed fine about it, like he understood that I wasn't ready and might not ever be." Bella finally looked at me. "Do you think he changed his mind?"
I exhaled heavily through my nose. After talking to Quil, I wasn't so sure that this was all about Bella, yet my brain was almost enjoying watching her suffer for her actions, like a monster. "Bella, this is why I told you to talk to him before. If that is what's going on with him, can you blame him?" The words were cold an unsympathetic, and I felt sick about it, but couldn't stop. I was mad. After all, her drama had been going on for too long.
Bella's brown eyes flickered in the dim lamp light beside my bed. Her own anger was stirring. "Did you say something to him?"
"No, I didn't," I grew defensive, closing my drawing notebook aggressively. "But it doesn't take a mastermind to see what you were doing to him. You calling him a 'good friend' probably dropped all of it into perspective for him. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to talk to you. He finally saw that you were using him to fill a gap left by someone else."
"That's not fair," she spat back. "I care for Jacob –"
"Do you?" I raised my eyebrows at her. "Because the last time I checked, caring for someone goes beyond feeding your own self-pitying agenda. You were gone, Bella. For months, you sat in a chair staring at the world carry on while you were pining for a guy who left you in the woods. A guy that you knew for, what, nine months? Everyone tried to pull you out of that and only Jacob could get through to you."
Bella flinched. "That's not true."
"No?" I gave a fake questioning expression. "Because I remember trying and getting nowhere, and it wasn't for lack of effort. I'll happily remind you that the only reason you went to Jacob in the first place was because you acquired a random addiction to adrenaline and needed his help to fix those stupid bikes."
Her eyes flashed to the door quickly as she stood, probably afraid that Charlie would hear, since she never told him.
"He's asleep on the couch," I stood as well and took two steps closer. "There's another thing you weren't honest about. You could have killed yourself on those stupid bikes but you never told Charlie."
"I didn't want him to worry about me," Bella countered. "Everything was fine. You were just involving yourself when you didn't have to!"
"Well, excuse me for being concerned for your life." I shrugged.
"I never asked you to be. I think the only reason you care so much about my friendship with Jacob and the things we do is because you're jealous that he hung out with you less when I came around," she suggested venomously.
"Jealous?" I asked, laughing in frustration. "Jealous. Wow, Bella, you really do think highly of yourself. I had no issue with you hanging out with Jacob because at least it got you talking again and I got my cousin back for a while. It was the way you behaved through the whole thing. You started treating him like a boyfriend without the benefits, expecting him to be at your every beck and call."
"No, I didn't," argued Bella, stepping closer to me.
"Yes, you did." My feet carried me forward too, and we were now inches from each other. "Except it didn't work and as soon as he found out you would never reciprocate his feelings and cut you off, you went straight back to screaming a certain name in your sleep again."
"I'm not the only one screaming in my sleep at times," she fumed vindictively.
Electric wrath sparked between our eyes as we yelled back and forth. Like vipers, we kept striking at each other, hoping the other would back off. There was a rational smidge of my brain left that kept wondering how it had come to this. Hours earlier in the evening, Bella and I were on the same page; freaked out and worried about our friend. Somehow, we had turned on each other. I blamed her for leading him on while she thought I was convincing him she was using him. Neither of us were wrong and neither of us were right. Still, we were locked in verbal battle. I yearned for her to make it physical. It had been a while since I hit something.
"Hey! What the hell is going on here?" Charlie rushed in, grabbed each of us by the arm, and yanked us away from each other.
"Nothing," Bella said. I echoed her.
"Really?" Charlie was doubtful. "Then care to explain why you are yelling at each other?"
We didn't say anything. Uncle Charlie released us and we both crossed our arms.
"Right, okay," he scratched his chin with his thumb. "Down stairs, both of you."
"W –" I started.
"D –" Bella began.
"Did I stutter?" his voice boomed.
We moved without another sound, marching down the steps and to the kitchen table where we were ordered to sit. Charlie paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair as he silently thought. I was sure he was going to leave a trail on the flooring before he spoke again. Maybe we would all die of old age first. That would have been easier. He finally stopped, standing at the end of the table where Bella and I sat opposite each other. His arms were crossed and his stance was wide.
Charlie Swan: Cop Mode.
I would have laughed if it wasn't so terrifying.
"In this house, we do not yell at each other." Charlie's voice was calm and steady and all the more intimidating. "We sit down, and we talk things out rationally because yelling gets us nowhere. Now, are we going to talk about this?"
Bella and I glanced at each other timidly, like wounded animals. If she wasn't going to say anything, neither would I. Not like talking about it would actually help at this point.
"Alright, neither one of you, then." He put his hands on his hips. "I would like to remind both of you that I am very tired and having two teenage girls in the house was not something I ever expected in life. I am doing my best and I need the two of you to put forward the same effort. Do you hear me?"
A communal 'yessir' whispered in the air.
"Now I don't know what you are fighting about but I need you to promise me that if you're not going to work out right here and right now that you settle it amongst yourselves," he ordered. "Civilly. Do you think that's something you can do?"
"Yes," Bella whispered. "I can if she can."
"What's that," Charlie said sternly, unimpressed with her attitude.
"Don't worry, Bella. I'm sure we can work out our differences," I also whispered, staring at the table and my heart pounding in my chest, trying to take over before something stupid slipped out in defiance. "After all, blood is thicker than water."
And we don't actually share any blood, Bella.
"That's it!" Charlie hollered, ironically breaking his no yelling rule. "I've had it with both of you. You're both grounded until further notice. Phones on the table and then get your asses upstairs. I don't want to hear a single peep from either of you until tomorrow morning. Go. Now."
…
Charlie was taking the whole grounding thing very seriously. No phones. No 'one free call'. No after school activities. He even forced us to ride to school together the rest of the week. Talk about a painful silence. Being in school was better than being home. At least I could talk to my friends. I wanted to tell Aly about Jacob, but something stopped me. Embry did the same thing to her. Digging up those memories would just be torture.
I sat on it and pretended everything was fine.
Bella and I got home from school on Friday with the rain heavily pelting the truck as we pulled up to the house. As I opened the door to get out, I looked back at her. She hadn't turned off the engine.
"Are you coming?" I asked loudly over the noisy rainfall.
"In a minute," she said.
I didn't push. We had successfully not killed each other, and I think both of us were seriously sorry about the fight, but that was still left to be verbalized. I left her to her thoughts and ran for the house. My foot no more than hit the top step when the engine behind me rumbled and tires ground into the gravel. I whipped around, my now wet ponytail smacking against my face. Bella was…leaving?
My eyes widened as I looked around. Was this really happening? We were grounded. Forget me killing her, Charlie would send her to the dungeons forever, never to see the light of day again.
…
"She what?" Charlie barked when he got home found out Bella wasn't home.
I tried to cover for her the best I could, but there was only so much I could do. Her truck was gone. Clear evidence that she wasn't just upstairs studying. It wasn't like I could call her to come up with a cover story. Charlie still had our phones locked away.
"I –" I started, but then Bella walked in the house, soaked to the bone and crying.
"Isabella Marie –" Charlie stopped short when he saw her crying. "Where were you? Why are you crying?" He was still mad, but he was still a dad.
"Jacob…" she blubbered slowly, numbly. "He… he said he doesn't want me anymore – he doesn't want me as a friend. I don't…"
Charlie sighed. He was frustrated. He already knew something was up with Jacob, but now it was affecting his daughter and full papa-bear was coming out. Knowing Charlie, he probably suspected that's what we were fighting about a few nights ago but didn't want to stir the pot.
"Go get cleaned up," Charlie said softly. He turned to me. "Val, go upstairs, please."
I didn't argue. While Bella was in the shower, I sat quietly in my room reading, but I could hear everything down stairs, even through the barely cracked open door. Charlie was yelling at someone, but who? Curiosity got the best of me, and I snuck closer to the door.
" – What do you mean I don't know my daughter as well as I think I do?" Charlie's voice was brash and edged like a knife. "If you think I'm going to remind her about that, then you had better think again. She's only just getting over it, and mostly because of Jacob. If whatever he has going on with the Uley character sends her back into that depression, Jacob is going to answer to me! You're my friend, Billy. But this is hurting my family. Even Val is – "
He listened for a while. It was then that I noticed I wasn't the only one eavesdropping. While my head was shoved between the door and the door frame, Bella stood in a tightly wrapped towel in the cracked bathroom door. We looked at each other without a single word. Sure, we shouldn't be listening, but we both wanted answers. Each of us looked back to the stairs when Charlie started again.
"You got that right! If those boys set one toe out of line – oh, I'll know about it. I'll be watching the situation, be sure of that."
He had gone Cop Mode again.
"Fine. Yeah. Goodbye."
There was silence again as Bella and I watched each other. We both flinched away from the doors as a loud, exasperated shout echoed from below, followed by a banging sound. I blinked quickly at Bella as I smiled sympathetically. Sulking back to my room, I found the bed and sat on it, wrapping my arms tightly around my legs. My eyes found my book, but I had no interest now.
Things were getting out of control and escaping to a fantasy world wouldn't save me.
…
It was late, very late. I should have been asleep, but my brain clearly didn't agree. Even my agitated body seemed to be in on it, betraying me. Underneath the sheets, I stared at the ceiling and imagined the possibilities and explanations as to what was going on. Somehow, I found a bright side.
I wasn't thinking of my own issues. Those were merely a faded memory belonging to someone else at the moment.
My throat groaned as I gave in to the temptation to get up, tear the sheets from me, and find the darkest clothes I had packed with me this week. How fortunate, I had tight black jeans and a dark blue zip-up hoodie. Changing quickly, I snuck across the hall to Bella's room, being as quiet as possible.
"Val?"
My cover was nearly blown as I held in a squeak from the unexpected greeting.
"Jesus, Bella, you scared the crap out of me!" I yell-whispered.
"Me? You're the one sneaking in my room at…" she looked at the clock on her nightstand. "It's 1:30 in the morning. What are you doing?"
I slowly turned the handle of her door and closed it to prevent further sound travel. Facing her again, my hands leaned on her bed. She turned on the dull lamp beside her bed and we both flinched at the light. Then I found her eyes again.
"Bella, I'm really sorry. The things I said to you…" I bit my lip. "They were unfair and I was blaming you for something that was beyond our control."
She shook her head. "We both said things. I'm sorry, too."
"Charlie's right, though." I tilted my head and smiled lightly. "We're family. Neither of us have much of that. We aren't each other's problem. The real problem…"
Bella's brain worked to get to where I was, and then she nodded. "Sam Uley."
I nodded, too, keeping steady eye contact as we whispered back and forth. "There's more going on then what Billy and Jacob and all of those guys are telling us. I intend to find out what exactly that is."
"How? Jacob won't take our calls – we don't even have phones right now other than the house phone."
"Simple," I said, cocked an eyebrow. "I'm sneaking out."
