Kuvira grunted in frustration as she realized that she had lost focus on her reading. She found the last place she remembered and resumed reading again. It seemed that she had to reread every page before the words sunk in.
It was Lin's fault. The older woman was sitting in the plush chair of the living room, just on the edge of Kuvira's peripheral vision. She was reading as well, but she appeared to have much more success than Kuvira. Her green eyes were glued to her page and her face was free of any frustration that Kuvira felt. She glanced to the cover of the magazine Lin held. From what she could tell, the cover was about the newest version of metalbending police wear. Apparently it was insulated with a thin layer of rubber so lightning or electric glove attacks wouldn't incapacitate the police officer. Intrigued, Kuvira made a mental note to read the article once Lin finished with the magazine. She nearly opened her mouth to ask about it but stopped herself with a stubborn grunt.
It had been three days since their awkward talk with Korra and Asami. They hadn't spoken much to each other since the couple left. The first day, Kuvira took great measures not to even glance at Lin's direction. The only thing she had said to the chief was a terse "thank you," when Lin finished making dinner. She had grabbed her bowl of soup and went straight to her room to eat it alone. The sight of the bed however brought a vivid memory of Lin fucking her. She felt a surge of arousal but the lust was tempered by what Lin said about it later. Lin wanted to fuck her and Kuvira wanted her, so why did the chief have to make it out like they did something horrible to Korra and Asami? Kuvira had eaten her soup angrily at her desk, slamming the spoon down into the bowl when she was done, nearly cracking the surface.
Kuvira had calmed slightly the following day. She managed to stay in the same room as Lin for some time, but neither women stroked up a conversation. Kuvira even ate dinner at the dining table but she kept her eyes focused on the plate in front of her. Lin didn't push Kuvira to talk, which only put salt into Kuvira's wounds.
It would have been better if Lin treated her as some fling that overstayed her welcome. But Kuvira caught the guilty glances that Lin shot her from time to time. Each time she saw that look, Kuvira had to grit her teeth to stop herself from growling that Lin was making such a big deal out of nothing. Lin should just accept that they wanted to have sex that night and leave it alone.
If Kuvira was being truthful with herself however, this was much more than Lin feeling guilty about what she did to Kuvira. It hurt her to think that Lin regretted having sex with her. Kuvira truly wanted Lin but the older woman was making it clear that she didn't want her. She missed their semi-easy conversations. Lin wasn't afraid to speak her mind and challenge Kuvira which was a fresh change for the young metalbender. She had felt like she could talk to Lin about anything and be given a genuine response, not some rabble that Lin thought Kuvira wanted to hear.
Kuvira tore her thoughts away from her loss and realized she once again skimmed through her page without actually reading. She sighed and repeated the passage. Her face grew warmer as she read the main protagonist, Zu, eagerly pushing his secret lover, Serah, onto a bed.
Oh. She didn't realize that it was that kind of book. She did recall Lin raising an eyebrow when Kuvira grabbed the book but the older woman didn't try to dissuade her from reading it. Kuvira glanced at Lin but the other woman was still engrossed with her magazine. She shifted slightly on the couch to get more comfortable and went back to her book.
She had gotten to the part where Zu was sucking on his lover's nipples while slipping a hand up her dress when she received a hard poke. Kuvira grunted in annoyance but she respected Korra's wishes and tried to send a semblance of remorse. She flipped to the next page and quickly a few more. How long was this sex scene?
Kuvira finally found a spot where the characters weren't doing anything even mildly suggested but she stared in confusion at the first quote. When had Zu's brother entered the scene? She debated whether to try and reread the sex scene without getting excited, just to see what the brother had to do with any of it. Sighing, she concluded that probably wouldn't work, at least not without another poke from Korra. She was curious about the brother though.
"Lin?" she spoke up.
The older woman started as her attention was suddenly pulled from the article she was reading and onto the other woman. It was the first time since their tense conversation three days ago that Kuvira had used her name. "What is it?" Lin kept her tone light but not friendly.
Kuvira sensed the wariness and lifted the book slightly for Lin to understand that she only wanted to talk about the book. "I was reading a certain passage but had to skip it because of Korra." She looked down at the open page and schooled her features before she explained. "It was when Zu was having sex with Serah. Korra poked me so I skipped the scene but now Zu's brother, Romo, is crying over a bleeding Serah." Kuvira glanced up in time to see Lin's face twist with confusion at the mention of Korra poking her. She ignored the confusion and asked, "What happened?"
Lin took a few moments to remember the scene clearly. It was a book she read years ago and she only read it once. It didn't held her attention much, there were too many cliches, but she started reading it so she had to finish it if only to find out the story's sub-par ending. "Romo caught them and meant to hurt Zu but Serah pushed him out of the way and took the hit herself." She tried to recall if Serah survived or not but that would have given away the plot so she held her tongue.
"I would have liked to read it," Kuvira muttered, going back to her book. The brother accidentally hurting Serah was actually interesting, unlike most of the book.
"Why can't you?" Lin asked before she could better think the question.
Kuvira jolted at the question. Didn't Lin know? She looked at the older woman and saw the curiosity. "We never told you?" she asked. When Lin shook her head, Kuvira sighed and closed her book. This was not how she pictured their first conversation going but she would take it. Maybe it would relieve some of Lin's harsh feelings over what they did. "So you know how I feel some of Korra's emotions if they're strong enough?" Lin hesitated and nodded. "Well, it goes the other way as well. If I feel a strong emotion, Korra feels it too." She nodded at the closed book. "When I got to that part, Korra felt me getting excited."
"And she poked you?" Lin asked, tilting her head.
"Yes," Kuvira answered. "As you know, if one of us starts to become intimate without warning the other, we can tug at their souls to get them to stop." Lin nodded to show she understood. "We can also give a warning tug. It isn't as painful as a tug but it sends the message across."
Lin was quiet for a few seconds. "That sounds annoying," she said.
Kuvira nodded in agreement with a huff. "You have no idea how many times I have to deal with her emotions almost overriding my own. She has no restraint over them and they crash against my soul so much that it's hard to differentiate my feelings from hers."
Lin shifted her weight in her chair, a tad uncomfortable with the question she wanted to ask. But she saw that Kuvira notice her slight reluctance and knew that if she didn't ask the question, the conversation would be ended. She didn't want that, not after three days of barely a word between them. "And that night," she started, her cheeks flushing. "You felt what Asami was doing to Korra, yes?"
"You know that I did," Kuvira answered a little tersely. "What do you really want to ask me?"
"I didn't," Lin started gruffly but then she sighed and dropped the pretense. "Did it even matter that I helped you? Couldn't you just ride it out with Korra?"
Kuvira's eyes widened at the blatant questions. "I," she struggled with the right wording. Lin was being honest with her questions so Kuvira would give her the same honesty. "I don't want to ride it out. Even though it feels like I'm having sex, I know that I'm not and it just leaves me wound up and unsatisfied if I don't do anything about it." She met Lin's eyes and saw the want there. "It did matter that you helped me. I was tired of dealing with Korra's and Asami's relationship alone." Her eyes narrowed and she flexed her fingers. "I am tired of dealing with it. I keep getting their scraps every time I feel a surge of love or lust from Korra and knowing that its because she's with Asami. Do you have any idea how agonizing it is to feel the love someone has for another and know that you're not even a part of it?" Kuvira shook her head angrily, recounting every time she happened to look at Asami the same time as Korra and getting confused when she felt such happiness. "You have to constantly remind yourself that what you feel isn't real. That it's not even in your head." Ridiculously, Kuvira rubbed at her eye with the heel of her hand, all of her frustration over the past few weeks boiling over.
Lin stayed quiet as Kuvira wiped away the tears that had gathered in her eyes as she ranted. When she noticed the tears, she felt an almost irresistible urge to go to Kuvira and comfort her. She managed to stay seated and wait patiently as Kuvira calmed herself down. "I'm sorry you're going through all this," she said softly when Kuvira finally unclenched her fists.
Kuvira gave a bitter, sarcastic laugh. "I know I have no right to even be confused for what I feel." She leaned back into her chair and tilted her face up to the ceiling so Lin couldn't see her eyes. "It's just so hard to feel the way Korra does for Asami and not be affected by it. Especially when they have sex. You can feel how much Korra and Asami love each other. Even if Asami hurts Korra a little during it, Korra never felt any fear, just excitement. The aftercare too," Kuvira sighed deeply, "it's just so fucking hard to feel it and not have it actually happen to me."
Lin glanced away and clasped her hands together, taking solace in the act.
Kuvira turned her head to look at Lin. The older woman had leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, hiding her mouth behind clasped hands. Kuvira surprised herself by chuckling dryly. "I bet that's music to your ears. That I want Asami because of Korra." She saw a flash of hurt in Lin's eyes but the older woman hid it away before Kuvira could be sure.
"It isn't," Lin admitted. She lowered her hands so Kuvira could see the deep frown. She stood and went to the kitchen before Kuvira could say something else to hurt her. She took out the ingredients for their dinner and set about chopping up the vegetables. She ignored the patter of Kuvira's footsteps as the younger metalbender followed her.
"Lin, I," Kuvira began, watching Lin slide the chopped vegetables into a sauce pan. She lifted a hand and after a heartbeat of hesitation, laid it in between Lin's shoulder blades. She felt the muscles tense and relax a moment later, as if Lin's body automatically responded to the touch. The older woman turned slightly, bumping Kuvira's hand off but at least she was looking at her now. "I'm sorry," Kuvira said, uncomfortable with how vulnerable her voice was. "I thought that's what you wanted to hear."
Lin narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "Why on earth would I want to hear you say that you want Asami because of Korra?" She put the knife down and fully faced Kuvira, waiting for an answer.
Kuvira almost let the silence drag on so Lin would be forced to tend to the cooking vegetables instead of the conversation. "You clearly regret what we did." She overrode Lin when she opened her mouth to argue. "Well, I don't regret it and I don't see why what we did was wrong." She raised a hand to stop another retort. "I get that I'm your charge and you have an unspoken authority over me. But this isn't a normal ward and her charge case. My literal soul is bound to another woman who regularly has sex with her girlfriend and I feel everything." She took a step towards Lin. "You helped me out that night, nothing more."
It was a long time before Lin responded. She turned to tend to the cooking, thinking over what Kuvira said. Deep down, Lin didn't think what she did was wrong either and that's what terrified her. She always knew what was right and what was wrong, no matter who was involved or what happened. She even arrested her own sister when Suyin was caught driving the get-away car and gave Lin her scars. Just the memory made the two scars ache and Lin bit back a hiss of pain.
Now she wasn't sure. She knew that if word got out she would be arrested and rightfully so. But she wanted to help Kuvira that night. She wanted to have the younger woman cry out her name and come undone by her touch. She still wanted Kuvira. "Fine," was all she could muster.
She studiously ignored Kuvira as she finished cooking and made a plate for herself and one for Kuvira. She left the plate for Kuvira on the counter and went to the dining room table.
Kuvira rolled her eyes and grabbed the plate before joining Lin. She ignored the surprised look on Lin's face but she did feel some satisfaction at the tiny flash of pleasure on Lin's face. She began eating her meal without a word to Lin. The silence became more tranquil instead of tense as the minutes ticked by.
When the food was gone, neither women made a move to leave the table. Both were content just sitting there, each lost in their own thoughts.
It was Lin who eventually broke the silence. "How was your latest letter?" she asked.
Kuvira grimaced, wishing she had taken her meal to her room after all. If anything could be say about Suyin, it was that she had terrible timing. The letter in question came the day after they had their talk with Asami and Korra. Lin slipped it under her door and knocked once to get Kuvira's attention. Kuvira was once again impressed by Lin's trust in her when she found the letter wasn't tampered with. "It was short. Suyin wants me to visit Zaofu soon."
Lin nodded. "I figured. Su called me a few days after she learned about the Soul Bond. She told me she wants to see it for herself but I think she just wants to see that you're okay with her own eyes." Lin paused for a few moments before she continued. "It won't be difficult to explain Korra and Asami tagging along. They would be your escort to ensure you don't run away."
With narrowed eyes, Kuvira added, "Actually, Suyin gave us another explanation as to them being there. Baatar Sr. wants Asami's input with the new dome designs." She tactfully left out Baatar Jr.'s involvement with the project but Lin caught on with a twitch of the corner of her lips. Kuvira thought she saw jealousy in Lin's green eyes but she decided she must have imagined it.
"And if Asami goes, of course Korra would accompany her," Lin muttered thoughtfully.
"Which will explain why the rest of Team Avatar weren't coming," Kuvira concluded.
Lin waited for a few heartbeats before asking, "Is visiting Zaofu something you would like to do?"
Kuvira didn't answer right away. The idea had been festering at the back of her mind since she read the letter. There were many risks to the plan. If Opal caught wind of the venture, she would be within her right to tag along, which meant she would bring Bolin who would probably drag Mako along too. Each addition to the party increased the risk of the Soul Bond being exposed. "Not now," she answered truthfully. Perhaps Lin or Korra could hint that Opal should visit her family and get the urge out of her system before Kuvira attempted to visit Zaofu.
Lin nodded at the answer. "Was there anything else in the letter that I should know about?"
Kuvira shrugged. "Just that she's worried about me." She didn't mean to add so much bitterness into her tone but it became scathing. Lin raised an eyebrow at her and Kuvira refused to apologize for her tone. "She's trying to get into my head again." She saw the confusion on Lin's face and sighed, knowing she had to explain the situation for Lin to fully understand. "She's acting like the concerned mother. Saying how relieved she is I'm getting better and how she visited me so many times when I was sick in Zaofu. She wants to pretend like I'm a Beifong but she's just trying to make herself feel better about treating me like an exotic bird instead of a daughter." She hadn't meant to talk about how she felt when it came to her adoptive family but it was like a flood gate had just been opened. Kuvira looked at Lin and saw understanding in her green eyes.
"Su told me about all that. Her side of the story at least," Lin, some of her old anger at her sister's willingness to forget some inconvenient truths tracing her words. "She said you were a troubled kid who needed a place to stay."
"Troubled," Kuvira repeated, scoffing. "I was a little shit who almost killed my own mother." Even after all these years the admission still made her throat tighten. She felt concern from Korra but she ignored the Avatar's energy. "I didn't know my own strength, or the fact that I could metalbend when it happened," Kuvira explained, her shoulders slumping at the memory. "But Suyin just swept it under the rug, like it was nothing. Just like with everything else."
"She does tend to do that," Lin acknowledged, remembering how she expected Lin to forgive her for everything she did when they just met after thirty years of silence. With an effort, Lin put aside her personal feelings of what Suyin did in the past. "But she did try to give you a good home."
Kuvira huffed. "Oh please, I was just a guest who overstayed her welcome years ago. Sure, I have some good memories sparring with Weng and Wei and trashing Huan's failed sculptures, but it wasn't like I was a part of her family." She grit her teeth at the sting that her own words caused. "I became one of her dancers and the captain of her guard so I could actually do something right and spend time with her, how fucking pathetic was that?"
"I did the same thing," Lin admitted softly.
"You were a dancer?" Kuvira looked Lin up and down, trying to imagine the Chief going through one of Suyin's dance routines. The older woman definitely had the body to do it, lithe and strong. Without Lin donning her concealing uniform, Kuvira could see the supple muscles in her arms. She also had the endurance to last through the most grueling performances, Kuvira did not doubt. Those scars too, they would add a fierceness to a dance that would make the performance even more exquisite. She quickly tore her eyes away. What was wrong with her? She was mad at Lin for how she treated their night together, not to mention how she explained how she regretted it to Korra and Asami.
"No," Lin said, glancing away as Kuvira very obviously checked her out. "I followed Toph's footsteps in becoming a cop and later Chief of Police. I worked my ass off for my position and achieved a record better than even hers, but I never got the attention or praise that I wanted."
Kuvira shook her head. "But you made a good life for yourself. Like you said, your record may surpass Toph Beifong's. People will be talking about you for generations."
"But what will they talk about," Lin growled, her frustration over the past few days, over Kuvira and the stupid Soul Bond and her own confusing feelings for the young metalbender, getting the better of her. "How I let Amon and his goons capture Tenzin's family? How I rolled over for that limp-dick Raiko during the South and North Pole civil war? Or maybe how Avatar Korra was taken and poisoned by the Red Lotus while I was guarding her." She jerked her chin at Kuvira. "Or better yet, how I'm letting the Great Uniter live in my house after she nearly destroyed the city I serve."
Kuvira narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists. But just as quickly, the anger left her and she sighed deeply. "That's not how I see it." She met Lin's eyes as she said, "You sacrificed yourself to Amon to buy Tenzin's family more time. You also saved your men that were captured."
"Their bending was already taken," Lin said harshly, although it was clear the anger was directed towards herself and not Kuvira.
"That doesn't matter," Kuvira said softly. "You still rescued them from Amon's prison." She saw Lin's face soften just a tiny bit. It gave her enough encouragement to continue, "And Raiko was a coward, but he was a coward with power and authority over you. If you hadn't done as he said, he would have replaced you with someone who would." She hesitated, feeling the old bitterness at the Red Lotus and their capture of Korra. "Don't forget that Zaheer gained his flying abilities right at the end of yours and Suyin's battle with him. Nobody could have predicted that happening." Now she met Lin's eyes steadily and raised her chin. "And you're letting me stay at your house because my soul is bound to Korra and if anything happens to me, Korra would be affected too. By protecting me, you're protecting Korra."
Lin studied Kuvira's face for any hint of deception but all she saw was the truth, just not in the same perspective as she held for all these years, way back when Amon nearly made the airbenders extinct. "Thank you," she said softly.
Kuvira nodded at the gratitude. She put away her dirty dishes and went to her room, feeling that she and Lin had made great progress in a short period of time. She laid in her bed and fiddled with the meteorite. With a pang, she recalled that it came from Zaofu. She wondered idly if Suyin had given Lin the meteorite as a gift or as an apology. Kuvira couldn't' decide on which.
She continued to mold the meteorite into random shapes. She stopped her toying when she stared down at a flying boar. Kuvira traced the tip of one wing to where it met in the boar's back and then up the spine. She halted at the tip of the snout, studying her creation with a frown.
She was much more like Lin than she ever imagined. She never thought that Lin grew up vying for another's attention, so much so that she molded her life after the one whose attention she craved. Kuvira sighed deeply and started to close her fist to destroy her creation. Her fingers stilled when the boar's snout and wings dented. She couldn't do it. Kuvira sighed again and hid the boar under her pillow.
She knew she wanted Lin. The chief was an intriguing and attractive woman. Now though, Kuvira was beginning to realize how much she wanted her. She had lied about Asami. Well, not truly, she was struggling to keep Korra's affections from influencing how she felt about the mechanic. But, she didn't say that she struggled far more with what she felt for Lin. She had thought that she just wanted Lin for sex but after three days near-complete silence, Kuvira craved more. She wanted to talk to Lin without the undercurrent of tension. She missed the amusement in Lin's eyes whenever she talked back to her or gave a retort that came out more teasing than stinging. She missed the moments when the two just existed in the same room, enjoying each others company without even looking at each other.
Kuvira felt her blood chill as her head snapped towards the closed door. Was she falling for the chief? Kuvira let her head fall into her hands with a groan. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Not sure how I feel about this chapter tbh. Except for calling Raiko a limp-dick. I will never regret that.
