Author's Note: I was reminded via PM that I haven't updated this in a while and I still definitely intend to finish it. It's hard to maintain a consistent writing schedule when you're bipolar, but hearing that people still really want to find out what happens makes me want to push through. Thanks guys.

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Chapter Twenty-Nine

Maya was surprised at the office space they had given her for her stay at West Point, mostly because it wasn't a square cell of white walls like she had expected. They had actually put her in one of the older buildings that housed the library and archives. The rooms were all rick oak and history. She was now occupying a room on the second floor with an excellent view of the grounds and enough space for her easel and canvasses. She had decided to give her detective work a break and remind herself why she took the job she did in the first place. She was working on a building floor plan that was going to need to be completely redone before they could even begin to work with it.

"Amy and I are heading out for some dinner. Wanna join us?" Tim appeared in the doorway, voice lower so as not to disturb the thick silence in the building. Maya almost winced at the sound of his voice cutting through the room.

"Thanks, but you guys deserve some time to yourselves. I still have work to do," Maya gestured to her sketches.

"This in the city?" He walked over to get a closer look.

"They all are. All the buildings I've worked on, I mean. There will never be a shortage of properties that need help and could serve a better purpose in New York City."

"Lucas said you really love it there."

"I'm not sure if that's the case anymore," her voice tapered off. "But until I figure out where it is that I love, I have obligations to fulfill."

"So you'll be ok with the guys on duty for a few hours?"

"Yes, Tim, just go. Go and remind your wife that she's the number one woman in your life, not the girl you're always trailing around." She smiled at him and watched him wink and leave. She had been worried about getting along with Tim and Amy without Lucas as the mediator but so far Maya was feeling closer to them every day. She turned back to her sketch of a new floor plan option if the building was to be converted into a low income family dentist office. It was almost done; she just needed to add the dimensions so her colleagues wouldn't be completely lost when she faxed it to them.

She was just about to initial her work when her burner phone began to ring. She flipped open the cheap Razor phone and expected Tim's voice on high alert.

"Shortstack, you really know how to play with a guy's heart." Lucas's voice was like a warm blanket folding her into safety. She inhaled and almost could smell the scent of his flannels.

"How's the good ole' Texan sun treatin ya?" Maya picked up her pencil and initialed her work before she could forget. Then she began to fix minor errors while she was focused.

"I just got back from a ride and I'll send you the pictures I took. It's gorgeous here."

"Aren't you glad we made you go?"

"I don't know if I would say glad. I'm glad it worked out as well as it did, but Maya when I realized you weren't in the archive room anymore, that I had no idea where you were, I lost my mind. All my training went out the window and it was panic. You cannot do that again."

"I wasn't getting some sort of sick glee from thinking of you worrying. Frankly I can't believe Tim went along with it."

"He likes your moxy. Unfortunately, he has to answer to higher powers. That's why I like being a cop here. I get to tell people to drive safe and check hunting permits. I get to do what I want, when I want, how I want. Tim is great at his job and a lot of it is desk work. I can never get my reports in on time because a desk isn't for me. I need to be out helping people."

"Like I'm about to do with this next design." Maya straightened up and stood back to inspect her masterpiece.

"The dentist office? You finished it?" Lucas sounded proud and Maya cherished that.

"Yep. Faxing it off tonight for them to send it back with three pages of notes about changes. But hey, this whole thing has taught me to be flexible."

"Glad you're experiencing such positive vibes right now."

"I actually really like it here. My roommate Lisa is cool and not some rules robot and they gave me my own space to work. It almost is like a vacation." Maya bent over to start examining the fax machine. It was much older than the ones in her office back home.

"Wish you could stay longer?"

"Nah. I miss my bed and even my cold flat. But I'm not thinking about home right now. I'm enjoying my time here and that's it. Riley taught me how to do that."

"Have you talked to her lately?"

"No, just text. I feel so bad that we all haven't been as supportive about the baby as we would've been if…"

"Don't, Maya. Don't start that or you'll keep yourself up tonight trying to get yourself to stop. Riley understands. I'll call her tonight since I have a more flexible phone situation. Speaking of which, you're gonna give this phone to Tim when you hang up, right?"

"Well, no." Maya finally got the fax machine to turn on and smiled to herself. Cory would laugh at how much her generation didn't know but he wasn't here and she felt smart. So ha. "Tim isn't here right now."

"Where is he?" Lucas's voice had taken a slight edge to it.

"Out to dinner with Amy. But he's got one of the officers on duty just down the hall."

"I don't like that."

"He needed a break. I feel bad for Amy too. She wants kids and a family and a normal life and she was just about to get it before my case fell into Tim's lap. Now he spends all his time with me and I'm not the one that's gonna give him those babies."

"Maya, it's part of the job-"

"-You know I hate it when you say it like that."

"Sorry. I mean, Amy knows that Tim needs to be there for you right now."

"I know. I just know when a guy spends so much time with another girl, no matter what, some other girl is going to be worried."

"Except you, Maya Heart of Steel." In the background a woman's voice faded in. "Charlotte's been a great help while I've been gone. She's pregnant too and I know Mama loves having that to look forward to. It'll be like a grandchild. And the kid will be lucky if it's anything like it's mom."

"Yeah, except me," Maya muttered under her breath. She knew Charlotte was married and having a baby with her husband now apparently but that didn't keep her from envying the time she got to spend with Lucas.

"As if I don't get enough time with him as it is," Maya thought to herself. "I should want more space than he can give me. I did at first. But now? Now it's like I can't pour my own cereal without expecting to feel him behind me. That could be a problem when it's time for him to go home for good."

"If I was there right now I'd love to take you to dinner," Lucas admitted.

"Like on a date?" Maya teased.

"Why not? It's something I should've done a long time ago."

"Sweet, but unrealistic, Cowboy." Maya was now frowning as her fax sent. They were dancing back into that territory of their future together and Maya didn't want to face that. Because the answer was clear. Their lives were still too different to combine and neither could ask the other to give up their passion. She'd thought it through in any way she could, but every time it came back to the fact that they had two different homes. They answered only to themselves and it wouldn't be possible to start answering to each other. "Fine, then popcorn and a movie."

"What movie?"

"Whatever I chose you'd end up vetoing it in favor of your choice, so why don't you just pick?"

"Juno." Maya answered her favorite movie, already knowing what he would say in response.

"Of course. That weird thing. You'll never let that go. How about an action movie?"

"Independence Day."

"That I can work with. It's a date."

"Lucas," Maya's use of his name quieted both of them into a more serious mood, "no dates. Not while this is going on."

"Don't try to fool me, Maya. I think you'll be just as reserved even when this isn't going on."

"I wasn't trying to hide it," Maya lied. "I just think it's better not to try to start something to watch it fail when the hurt will be worse. The universe gave us our chance Lucas, and we blew it. Now it's our chance to part on good terms. Nothing more."

"If that's really what you want, then I'll respect that." His voice was stiff.

"I don't know what I want right now. I don't know when I'll know what I want or where I want to go or anything. I would only know those things if I had made different choices. Like if I had kept the Avery scholarship for myself. Or if I had become a full-time artist. Or if I hadn't gotten mad at you for turning the scholarship down." Maya took a deep breath. "Or if I hadn't slept with you." The line was quiet. She bit her lip.

"You're right. Things would be different." He sounded far off and numb. That always scared her, when he sounded like he didn't care.

"I mean I was famous for spur of the moment decisions and-"

"If you're going to tell me that having sex with me was a spur of the moment-"

"What else would it be? You and Riley had just broken up. You needed comfort and I was drunk."

"Glad we got that sorted. Let me know how that floor plan goes over with the bigwigs." Maya looked out the window and saw that it had grown dark. She wasn't afraid, but she was ready to visually locate her shadow.

"Lucas…."

"Yes, Maya?" She didn't know what she could say to make him at ease like he was before their latter conversation. But she also knew that if she caved to him then the case would be a mess, they'd fight over houses and states and jobs, and the whole time she'd be living a lie. Because Lucas had taken her virginity and she wasn't drunk and she had let him when she knew it would kill Riley. It was messy and quick and all teeth and insults and sweat and in the end, what did it mean? She was glad that it had meant nothing. It meaning nothing meant that when he left for Texas, she didn't have to care. And if he tells her now that it had meant something, if she admitted to herself that it meant something, then she would have to care. She would care openly and she would have to care openly in spite of the fact that time had passed them by.

"Don't get sunburnt, ok?" She heard him sigh deeply.

"Make sure Tim gets the phone."

"I know," she snapped. She was suddenly very loathe to returning to the city. But if she didn't leave this little room then she couldn't lock the past up in it as she left.

"I'll call Tim later and check in about details."

"Fine."

"Fine." He sounded so calm. So dead. There was no fight like usual. She was breaking him down. Eventually he wouldn't come back. She hung up before the silence grew too long. She looked down at the phone in her hands, the screen slightly blurry from being pressed to her ear for so long. If he stayed in Texas, if he never came back, what would she do? She hadn't seriously thought about that before. Now she pondered. But she already knew the answer deep down. If Lucas never came back she would go back to the city and to her flat and her job and pick up right where she left off. Except every night when she crawled into bed she'd listen through the wall to hear the rustling of sheets in her art room. And in the morning she'd sniff the air to smell what breakfast was in the kitchen that day. And when she was sitting at the counter, she'd remember his lips on hers in that moment of terror and emotion.

She could move. She could switch jobs. She could make Riley and Farkle promise to never mention him in her presence again. She could part ways with Tim and Amy.

But it would all be for nothing. Because Lucas would never really leave. Not completely. He was everywhere. He was with her in her art classes and with her when she graduated and with her the night she was shot. His voice was there to guide and comfort her. Even in her hatred she still clung to him like a weakling. She hated it. And now she'd just given him deeper access to her. So if he left again she might as well still have conversations with him in her empty flat.

She frustratedly poked her head out the door and found an officer in a chair two doors down. He met her eyes.

"I need a drink."

"Ma'am?"

"I don't care where or how you get it, just get me a drink."

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Lucas stared down at the phone for a few moments after Maya had hung up. He shouldn't have pushed so hard. Maya was always like a lion when pursuing, but a deer when the pursuee. But he didn't bring up the sex. That was all on her. He wondered if she had meant to mention it or not. He wondered what she was doing now. Was she getting ready for bed? Drawing for pleasure? Stuck in the past?

"She must be pretty great to keep you staring like that." Charlotte's voice snapped him out of his reverie.

"Pretty great or pretty terrible."

"In my experience, the ones that give you the hardest times can also give you the best. I'm headed home. Say bye to your mom for me."