Chapter 31: Shouya Ishida #1


Shouya Ishida couldn't find her. He had searched the entire campus but there was no sign of the woman who he had hurt all those years back, when he was nothing but a little runt, who was too full of himself, bored out of his mind, thinking it was all fun and games, playing, fooling around, wanting to be at the centre of attention, didn't matter what he did, didn't matter who he hurt.

And as expected someone got hurt.

He did it. He hurt her. He bullied her. He ripped out the hearing aid from her ear and threw it out the window. He did it over and over and over and over. Just because he thought it was fun, just because the others laughed. Just because she didn't cry. Just because she didn't complain. Just because she kept smiling. Just because she didn't slap him or hurt him back for what he did to her.

Never. Not once.

Except for that one time.

Then she left. He never saw her again.

Shouya Ishida remembered it perfectly. He remembered it like it was yesterday. He wanted to kill his younger self. But he couldn't. It was not physically possible. At the end, all he could do was apologize. But for that, he needed to find her first.

He went through middle school and high school with no such luck and he thought it would be the same in university. But then one fine day, he heard a mention of her name.

"Shouko Nishimiya."

He must have looked like a creep, a predator, the way he grabbed the poor guy and asked him all the questions. He was frightened out of his mind. But through stutters and a few hesitating questions later, he found her.

Shouko Nishimiya went to Neo Tokyo University. Just like him.

Shouya Ishida could see it now. He had been thinking about this day for a long time. He would go down on his knees and beg for her forgiveness. He would tell her how wrong he had been, he would tell her how he wanted to own up to his mistakes, how he would do anything for her, even die for her if she asked for his life, as penance for what he did.

He didn't want to live anyway. He had no hopes, no dreams. His life at university would just pass by and then he would be out in the real world, where he wouldn't know what to do. He wanted to die. He wanted to kill himself. He had been wanting to do that for a long time.

But not before he met her.

And then he did.

He found her near the lake, feeding bread to the fish. She didn't know he was there. She was with another man. A boyfriend maybe. He looked scary. He had these rotten dead fish eyes. Those were terrible to look at. But Shouya Ishida didn't lose hope. He had come so far.

But as it would turn out, he would only get this far.

Shouko Nishimiya saw him, finally. For a full second, she didn't move. And then she ran away as fast as she could in her heels. The bread she had been feeding to the fish in the lake lay scattered on the ground, uneaten.

The man with the rotten dead fish eyes gave him a look. He didn't say a word. But Shouya Ishida got the message. Come near her again and you die, he conveyed through his rotten dead fish eyes.

It had been a couple of days since that incident. Shouya Ishida didn't feel afraid. He was going to die anyway. He couldn't care less if his death came in the hands of a scary looking, dead fish eyed, human being, who may or may not be Shouko Nishimiya's boyfriend.

This time he would run after her. Like he should have before.

Shouya Ishida was by the lake. He was waiting. It was the same time around when he met her before. He waited and waited and waited. He didn't mind waiting. It was nice and cool, under the shade of the trees, overlooking the lake.

"What are you doing here?"

It was a female voice. Shouya Ishida turned and looked at the woman. It was not Shouko Nishimiya. He didn't know who she was. After all he didn't pay much attention to the people around him. They were all faceless, their expressions covered with a red cross mark on their face.

But not in this case.

She was a cute looking woman of average height with back-length dark, black hair that had bangs swept to the left with two grey hairpins on the left side. Her eyes were sharp and searching. But they were narrowed, having small pupils similar to those of a stray cat. They were also blue like those of the vast ocean underneath a clear sky.

Shouya also notice that she had multiple piercings. Her right ear had two helix ring-earrings and double lobe piercings while her left ear had two helix-stud piercings and a standard lobe piercing.

Her breasts were on the smaller side though.

"Who are you?" Shouya Ishida asked. He had definitely stared at her for a long time. God, he was such a creep. "And what are you doing, talking to a stranger?"

"My real name is Komachi Hikigaya. But I go by as Mira Hikigaya on campus." She left the other question, unanswered because of how stupid it was. Clearly he was not a stranger. He was inside the campus, a student, probably like her.

Shouya Ishida was dumbfounded "Why?"

The woman shrugged. "It's the way it is. You wouldn't understand. And I'm not gonna tell you if you ask." She then looked at her with those searching eyes. "Wanna tell me, what you are doing here, being a creep."

"I was not being a creep." Shouya Ishida argued. "I was waiting here for a woman to show up."

"Did you have a prior appointment?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"No." Shouya said, lowering his head. "In fact, I don't think she wants to see me."

Mira Hikigaya made a face. "Oh god, you are a creep. I don't know the last time I called a person a creep and they turned out to be a creep. This must be Tuesday."

Shouya Ishida guessed the woman was being sarcastic. He didn't find it in himself to laugh. But for some reason he ended up telling a part of his story. "You see, back in elementary school, there was this little girl I used to bully-"

"Stop!" Mira held up a hand. "I didn't ask you to tell me your story. And let me tell you, you are off to a horrible start. I was bullied back in my middle school."

"What happened?" Shouya Ishida asked.

"I confessed to a girl." Mira Hikigaya said, unashamedly.

"Wow." Shouya Ishida didn't know how to react to it.

Mira Hikigaya chuckled. "You know that's the exact same reaction I get whenever I tell this story. Mind you, I have only told this to only one another person." She gave him a look full of pity. "And in case you are wondering, I'm not a lesbian. And if you are even more curious, let's just say I don't feel like disclosing my sexual orientation to a guy I just met…who happened to be a bully in elementary school."

Shouya Ishida didn't like talking to her all that much. Of course that meant he would keep talking to her for a while. "But, all I want is to apologize to her. Tell her how wrong I was, how horrible I was to her and then, let her decide what she wants from me."

Mira Hikigaya snorted in an unladylike manner. "I think she decided already, pal." Her faced looked cruel when she uttered the next few words. "She doesn't want anything to do with you.'

Shouya Ishida sighed. He feared as much.

Mira Hikigaya knew that look. "Don't think about doing something stupid, now."

Shouya Ishida felt bitter. "Why do you care? You don't even know me. Did I even tell you my name?"

"I don't need to know your name to know what that look is about." Mira Hikigaya planted herself before him. "You are thinking about ending it. Killing yourself!" She pointed a finger to his chest. "Well let me tell you something, buddy. I have been there. I. Have. Been. There."

Something in her tone made him stop. "Why should I believe you?"

Mira Hikigaya hugged her sides and from the looks of it, she was trying to make the earth swallow her whole. She turned her neck to the side and didn't look at him, while she started talking. "My little brother, Hachiman. He died because I couldn't save him. I was in a coma. He was in the morgue. When I came back to the land of the living, an entire month had passed." She didn't cry. "I missed my brother's funeral. He was fourteen years old when he died, a kid in middle school."

"I'm sorry." Shouya Ishida didn't know what to say.

Mira Hikigaya wasn't finished. "When I started high school, the kids started calling me Koma-chan." She gave out a dry chuckle. "A play on words from my earlier condition, being stuck in a coma. I hated it, I hated everything. It reminded me about how I failed to save my brother, how his death was my own fault. But no matter how many times I tried to make them stop, they kept saying it over and over again, like it was a fun little game for them." She looked at him and he felt sorry for her. "Like they say, boys mature late."

"They were bullying you, after you went through that." Shouya Ishida shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"Well, you would know now, wouldn't you." Mira Hikigaya gave him a small smile. "You are a bully yourself."

Shouya Ishida felt humiliated. He didn't want to dwell on what he did. To a certain extent what he did was far worse, than what those bullies did to her. But this wasn't a competition. If he could travel back in time, he would kill his younger self and those bullies who bullied Mira.

But he wouldn't think about it. There was nothing to be achieved dwelling on it.

"Is that why you changed your name?" Ishida asked instead. "Because you didn't want people to call you Koma for short, as a horrible little pet name?"

Mira Hikigaya was silent for a minute. "I hadn't really thought about it, but now that you say it out loud, that might be just the case. Thank you." She said suddenly.

"You're welcome." Shouya Ishida didn't know why she was thanking him. He just responded out of habit. It's just something people said in response to it. He then remembered he hadn't introduced himself to her yet.

"I'm Shouya Ishida, by the way." He said.

"Mira Hikigaya." She gave a small smile. "But you already knew that."


A/N: So, this chapter finally had Mira Hikigaya AKA Fem! Hachiman AKA Komachi Hikigaya from an Alternative Time Line. This will be the only chapter where she is called Komachi Hikigaya though. Don't want any confusion in the future.

If you want more chapters with Mira Hikigaya, please mention the names of the boys you want interacting with her in the review section.


However, if you want to continue with Hachiman Hikigaya, normal, second year student. Here are the other set of options:

Option 1: Haqua – The World God Only Knows.

Option 2: Celty Sturluson – Durarara!

Option 3: Misaka Ayuzawa – Maid Sama!

Option 4: Hitagi Senjougahara – Bakemonogatari.

Option 5: Miura Yumiko – Oregairu.

As always, pick any of the above or suggest a character in the review.

Hope everyone enjoyed reading this chapter.

Leave lots and lots of reviews, follow and fave.

Won't betray your dreams.


P.S: For those of you who are wondering what happened to the Oregairu x The World God Only Knows Arc, I have decided to make it into a separate fic, "Infinite x Infinite." It will take a while to write, because I am working on the plot.

Wish me luck!