Hello wonderful readers thank you for the lovely reviews they have kept this story alive and well. Welcome to some progression and fluff! Also HT fans I have a gift for valentines day. Please let me know what you think!
I was relieved the movie did the trick to ease him to sleep, I knew that if I did not step in he would have spent the entire night obsessing instead of healing. His face looked awful and it was hard for me to not want to strike down the person responsible. Though this time I knew the person responsible for hurting Robin was Robin. Red X had offered to lose and not cause damage or pain. Robin chose to not accept his offer and I knew plenty of full strength blows were traded. Though I knew it was a matter of pride and redemption to Robin even if Red X was not aware of that factor.
I had wanted to sneak away and make sure Red X had gotten home safely, but I doubted he would park his bike in the same place now that I had camped above it. He was intelligent and it was an intelligent decision to at least change patterns when being tracked. I was also afraid of what I would feel when I could not find his bike. I had to accept my hope he was safe would have to sustain me. Hope had to sustain me on other unknowns, the fate of my brother, the safety of my planet, and the livelihood of many other individuals.
I was also in no state to be searching in the dark with my body exhausted. I would find a reason to fly over his neighborhood tomorrow after I was able to recharge. I wish I had asked Robin to follow him, but he was barely in a state to drive either. A large part of me was tempted to conk their heads together next Friday to see if either felt like their choice to fight all out was worth it. If there had been more to our night it could of gone really bad. If my job had started tonight… I really could not have done it. Miss Friday had chosen the right chord when she brought up my injury. It was a sensitive matter in a dual sense.
Robin was snoring, I assumed it was a side effect of the medication he had taken, but it was strangely cute. I had paused the movie when he started in case he wanted to pick up where he left off. I was happy he had actually gone to sleep and I knew it was deep with the snoring. He needed it, I needed it for him. I debated going to my own bed to sleep since I did not want to accidently brush against any of his injuries in my sleep. Then his hand drifted back to my hair in his sleep and all thoughts of leaving him, abandoned me. I faced away from him and decided to let my eyes close comparing his snores to the waves crashing against the shore.
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I was positive that I had just met Red X or well I guess his true name was Jason. I had flown parallel to the bus and followed to see where he would arrive, hopefully safely with that limp. I had not immediately recognized him from the way his bulky clothes fit and he altered the octave of his voice. Though his rough hands and sharp jaw had given him away. He was attractive, objectively. Though he was struggling with his injuries. I had suspected heat exhaustion when I had not identified him, but now I was sure he was suffering from last night. I could not fully see the extent of his injuries, but I had been right to suspect a concussion last night. At least he was able to make it home in one piece. It was a relief to see him alive since there were so many things that could of prevented him making it home.
The bus stopped and I shifted to a rooftop across the street so he would not see me. He limped out and made it to an apartment building. I waited a few minutes to see if I could notice a light flipping on so I would know which apartment was his. There was not an obvious shift of light, though maybe his had the curtains drawn.
I decided not to linger any further when my stomach reminded me of my true goal, food. I had left to get an early dinner for the Titans since…I had eaten most of the food in the Tower. I was hopeful this would be my last night of exaggerated appetite, my wound had healed well from my rest and Raven finally able to mess with it as the magic had faded. She had come in to heal Robin after I had sent her a message on the communicator while he was still asleep. He had gone through bouts of consciousness and I had enabled his naps. We had discussed her nightmares and decided that I could be cause, but it was not the only option. She also brought up it might be more symbolic now that she had more details seem abstract as it reoccurred. She was worried that it could become a self fulfilling prophecy now that I knew it was her suspicion, but I promised if I felt the slightest chance I would fly skyward instead of dive into the ocean. She still seemed unsettled and promised that she would try another form of clairvoyance to see if we could get any other details. She would also be needing extra food to recharge.
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The week passed too quickly, much too quickly for me to fit every single thing I wanted in. I wanted to see every extended Titan at least once so I could have a last hug if needed. Robin requested I stopped talking about my Terran Card which I did respect. It was causing tension in the entire Titan circle. Some knew my true reason and some did not, but were happy with the surprise. Robin had been trying to be supportive, but I knew me preparing for the worst hurt him. Though maybe part of it was the thought of me leaving. I wanted to believe that.
I would respect whatever decision the Justice League gave me, but I wanted to stay and my soul wanted me to fight if I was denied.
I had not spent much time sleeping and tried to draft letters containing everything I would want to say. I would still be able to contact them, but I knew my life would change drastically if I would return to Tamaran permanently. I would be expected to become the Grand Ruler after a short time, where a marriage and hopeful plan of expansion would be placed upon me. I would have to leave dinners of pizza and autonomy behind. I would be help responsible for a planet and all it's people, my people. I did not often feel nauseous unmedicated, but I felt sick at the thought of being a disappointment to my people. I was not ready. I was not good enough. I was not strong enough to rule how I wanted.
I cursed my sister for planting seeds of imperialism in her reign. I would be a better monarch than her who hated her own kind, but I didn't know how much. I didn't want to rule which would put me at a disadvantage to resisting the whims of the council who had been increasingly gaining power under Galfore's rule. I wanted the best for my people, but what I experienced influenced me. I had hesitance, which alone was not ideal for a Tamaranian, I had hesitance towards participating in the destruction and subjection of a culture for selfish aims. Tamaran was not without resources and ways to thrive, the people just wanted to prove they could be winners after so many losses.
There would be more if I went along with dreams of imperialism.
I had been doing my best to look towards the positive things revolving around a birthday. On Earth the parties were quite enjoyable and on my tour to other Titans I had picked up a variety of little packages. I had resisted opening anything, I wanted to save it for the actual day. Which was tomorrow now. My date with Robin had been pushed to tomorrow to breakfast. We were going somewhere that had crepes which I was interested in trying. Dinner had become stressful to pick a restaurant with my schedule and a battle with Plasmus on the reservation we ended up making. Breakfast was easier and less stressful in terms of planning and attire. I just hoped it went well.
Currently I was drafting a letter to Red X… he deserved some explanation and a goodbye. While he had not been in my life the longest, he had treated me nicely and made a difficult situation easier. He was a good person, I just think he made some bad choices along the way. I just was struggling to write anymore. I didn't want to say goodbye.
"Your hand is getting tattooed from all your writing." Robin said as he stood in the doorway to my room. I had kept the knowledge of Red X's name to myself. I was not 100% sure and I did not have evidence which would be needed for a lawful arrest. It was for the best.
"It would be a simple design." I replied as I shut my notebook and took a look at the side of my hand. I wished I had more confidence with my pen so I could turn the blob into something pretty, but alas my talents laid elsewhere. Argent could, Seemore would likely turn it into a silhouette of a woman, and speedy who I had recently become aware of his abilities could turn it into a blueprint.
"Want to take a break?" He asked and I knew he was wanting a little more time. I had watched a movie earlier with all of the Tower, unspoken what everyone was thinking as we watched a funny movie about a vet that could talk to animals.
"That is typically my question." I said with a smile. I had stared at the page for long enough without more words coming. Maybe short and sweet would be best with him. "I think I'm done, I just have to pack a little more."
"I don't think you have much to worry about. Though I am noticing I am missing a few items of clothing." He said and looked suspiciously over at my luggage which was placed beside my door. He was not wrong, but there was nothing he could not replace. Cotton was not a fabric I was going to find anywhere else and I would have something to touch and wear when I missed home, Earth.
"I wonder where they can be." I said catching he was wanting to tease me. He had been a good boyfriend this week doing little things I had wanted and very affectionate when we were alone like now.
"A mystery for a later time. Do you want to go for a ride?" He asked and sat on my bed facing me. I pulled him more of the way onto my bed and into me. I got my kiss hello and extended it.
"I rather stay here, but if you have something planned I will not spoil it." I said as we broke apart. I took in his face, memorizing the flush of his face, the shape of his nose, and the dazed look I knew was hidden below his mask. It was nice to see his face fully healed.
"We can come back later, but it's a beautiful night. One worth being out in, you should see the moon." He said though he didn't immediately move off me. I brushed my nose across his and kissed his forehead deciding spending a beautiful night with him was likely better than being in my room. I was also struck with the memory Raven needed the full moon for a lucid dream ritual. His request to go for a trip was a dual purpose. He needed to know it was not me in her vision if he was going to put his full heart into the plea for me to stay.
"Do I need to change?" I asked since I was in my civilian clothes of black jeans and a green top that tied together at the neck. He had settled his head on my shoulder and had his arm draped across my stomach. I was comfortable and did not want to.
"I would suggest a jacket, but I know you don't need one. Though I do need to match." He said and I was curious where we would be going if he was going to be wearing civilian clothes.
"Second bag to the left." I said now excited for whatever he had in mind even if it was just staring at the moon.
"What?" He asked and I realized I had not included much context.
"You'll find some clothes in the second bag to the left." I said providing an explanation.
"Well that is mystery solved." He said and gave me another kiss before leaving for his room. He was still modest and I was not going to rush or push him. Though maybe it was a good idea to not spend the entire night in bed if I wished to respect his pace. I could find myself wishing for one night where nothing is left unsaid, nothing left undone, but he was not ready. I lived in reality and boundaries. Though staying at the pace we were at was not disappointing. I wanted to just hold him so tight no one could take him from me. I just knew that was not the right thing for either of us. Getting out was smart.
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I was growing more and more curious about where we were going. He had grabbed me one of his leather riding jackets and made me wear a helmet which was slightly bizarre, though it completed the civilian appearance. Though I did not enjoy the lack of freedom and tint. It was a tight fit with my hair. Though I still held excitement towards doing something together. We were not going to a part of the city I was familiar with. It was less populated and seemed to have less lights. There was a lack of restaurants and shopping centers. It was more warehouses. Though I did not expect our final stop to be in one.
It was empty except for a shape in the center I could not find definite lines with the helmet on. He switched the bike off and lights switched on providing more of a picture. There was a motorcycle in the middle of the building. A beautiful black motorcycle with silver flames.
"I thought you might want your own to learn on. It has less buttons than mine, but the frame and the handle bars are reinforced." He sounded more awkward now. "Happy Birthday." I realized I had not taken off my helmet so he could not read my expressions.
"She is mine?" I asked knowing that Cyborg was adamant that motor vehicles on Earth were almost always female. I took off my helmet and shook out my hair since it felt crushed. Helmet hair was likely going to be a continuous foe.
"Yes, I thought since you wanted to ride you might as well have your own. Do you like it?" He asked and scratched the back of his neck. That was his nervous habit.
"It is glorious!" I said and started walking closer to fully examine my gift. It was a more slender build than his, with more chrome and decorative elements. I especially liked the flames element since in my research I had liked that detail. While this might not have been what I would have designed myself exactly, it was likely better and more versatile than the purple tones I normally clung to. This was sleek, aesthetically pleasing, and showed he listened to me. "Thank you!" I said and spun back to him. I dropped my helmet and picked him up in a hug that quickly ascended above the ground.
"I'm glad you like it." He said and clung back to me sounding much more relaxed. This was a wonderful surprise, I had no idea he had actually worked on acquiring something like this for me.
"I love it! When did you have time to do this?" I asked as I let us settle back to the ground.
"Alfred helped, but I just wanted something that you could ride easy in and well I figured you could always change the paint job."
"I like it a lot actually, it is more…practical yet very pretty. Are the controls the same?" I asked wanting to be sure.
"Pretty much, let me give you a refresher and maybe we can practice here. You can cheat with your powers for now, but I am going to have you take the license test and you can't use them then." He seemed more himself now. He was a patient teacher at least though I think I was going to test him tonight. I did not exercise caution on my first few laps. The building was small enough I could not gather the speed I wanted, but I knew from his hand motions it was enough for him to panic. I had good balance and the concept was not that divergent than flying. Friction and manual steering were more pressing elements, but I was a quick study. Though my true room for improvement lied in stopping. The inertia of the bike along with my own was weird. I could not stop on a small piece if currency with the bike. I had to slow and use my legs. Though one attempt I caused the machine and myself to flip, I stuck the landing, but it showed that stopping smoothly would be a work in progress.
"How about a break from that?" He asked after my impromptu flight. He looked stressed again and raised his voice, but that might have been due to the bike. It was much louder than his. I nodded shutting off the bike and removed my helmet.
"That was not my intent, but it was fun." I said and put my forehead on his. It had creased in nerves and I wanted it to smooth.
"Let's get you to master the basics before you try tricks. Though all things considered you're doing well. Might be a while until I'm a passenger though." He said and ruffled my hair which I knew was likely without consensus whether it was going up or down.
"I am content spending some time to learn properly. Though maybe in a bigger area?" I asked.
"Yes of course, this was just a place to hide it. Just don't rub it in Beast Boy's face or else I'll have to get him one for Christmas." I laughed at the thought of Beast Boy having his own. It was not that impractical, but he was accident prone….
"I'll be good, I promise." I said and finally let my adrenaline seize me and kissed him deeply. He met with me a ferocity that he had not brought out since our first. His hands quickly tangled themselves in my hair and I let my hands wander to his waist. With him in civilian clothes, I was actually able to sneak below and feel the geography of his abs. I was expecting him to back away and move my hands somewhere safer. Instead he moved his hand to unsnap the top portion of his jacket I was wearing. I let my hands fall so that it would do the same. He quickly put his hand on the span of my back that was now exposed. He broke away to breath, and it was moments later that his mouth dropped down my face to my neck. I would pay a high price to live in this moment. Kissing on earth was neck kisses on Tamaran. They were sensitive and intimate since they were rarely bared. It required extreme trust of the person you were with. Even the halter top I wore now covered more of my neck than most earth styles. Though it exposed just enough to let him leave these precious sensations. I knew my vocal cords had started working, but I did not believe I was speaking English. My brain had floated away as I processed the delightful feeling of his skin and mouth. He really was the right height for that…
"What does that mean?" He asked as he moved his mouth away from my skin. I had not remembered what words I had said.
"Hmm?" I asked slightly embarrassed that my mind and mouth were not on the same plane.
"It sounded like Terak?" Be'ak ah in Tamaranian it meant best. There was a special romantic connotation to it.
"It means best, you are one of the best things in my universe." I said completing the translation. I said and went back to kissing him knowing the best answer would be in his actions. He did not disappoint.
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We had not gone further in the warehouse. It was not the right setting, and by the time we made it back to the Tower we had lost the absence of what tomorrow meant. It loomed and killed the mood when I saw the pile of paper work we were bringing to the Watchtower. Reality returned and he saw my crash.
He led me to his room to sleep and we just talked about everything. He talked about how he was proud that I had really grown to fit in on earth, that I had tried yet stayed true to myself. I talked about how I was happy I had learned to eat food better, my first meal on Earth being candy bars still in their wrappers. He talked about Batman taking him in and how he made sure the man who killed his parents met justice. I talked about my brother and what stories I made up in my head so I could believe he was alive. He talked about how he wanted to be better at Tamaranian so he could understand me better. I talked about how I was proud of him for the strength it took to leave for Jump. He talked about how he had nightmares from being kidnapped and hated waking up in a different place than he fell asleep in. I told him about my phantom pains. He talked about my hair and how if he could write poetry there would be lines dedicated to my locks. I talked about how his dimples were one of the first things I was attracted to.
He asked me if he was the main reason for staying on earth and I saw the relief in his eyes when I said no. He was a clear part of it, but I truly believed earth was the best place for me to grow as a better person and heal. I asked him if he wished that we had defined ourselves earlier and he said yes. It was bittersweet, but nice to hear. He asked me why him? And I answered that he was worthy of my love. I asked him what did want in his future. He said he wanted to be his own hero and be better at letting people in. I asked if he was tired. He said yes, but he didn't want to close his eyes. I told him it was okay and laid my head over his heart until it evened out.
It felt like a blink and it was sunrise again. The thought this could be my last day on Earth caused an ache in my heart. Tears began to flow from my eyes and onto his shirt. I tried to stay silent and let him sleep, but the sobs that began to jerk my body were not easily quelled. He shifted so I was cocooned by his arms and legs wrapped around me tight and just let me cry on him. He didn't try to stop me, just let me know he was there with me.
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Our crepe date was okay. Neither of us could eat much when there was a growing ball of anxiety within. Though he held my hand across the table and let me cut bites for him. We both decided that last night would be counted as our first official date. I was able to plaster a smile when the restaurant sang happy birthday, but I was ready for our appointment to be over with. I knew he was as well, but he had more confidence the outcome was going to how he wanted.
Raven had not woken up from her dreaming journey and she had left instructions not to pull her out unless her breathing or vitals drastically changed. Beast Boy was routinely checking on her and made sure all her candles and supplies stayed positioned correctly. It was sweet to watch, though I was also concerned. She had warned us it would take time, but I had hoped to see her conscious before I left. Oh well, I had very little control of that as well.
I had a letter for her on the kitchen counter with all my others but one. I hoped they would not need to be sent out, but I wanted them to be easy access. Cyborg told me that he would make me a feast for when we got home. Food was his way of affection and I knew it made him feel less powerless to do so. I told him I would be most grateful. My appetite had returned back to normal days ago which had lead us to a near full restock of the kitchen. He had even thrown in some utensils while we were shopping.
We gave ourselves extra time to travel to the Watch Tower which meant we were early. It was a cold lobby that we were waiting in and there was no clock. I was getting anxious as I knew a fair amount of time had passed. I had already braided and unbraided my hair multiple times and wished I had worn jewelry to play with. Robin gave in to my need to fidget with sacrificing a Robin-rang for me to spin on my knuckle. It gave me something to do besides flip through the paperwork yet again.
"Please come in." Jo'nn said phasing through the door that we had been facing for however long. I was happy he would be there as well since he was a fellow card holder. He had more understanding of the desire to remain on Earth. He had always been fair and welcoming to me which made me feel like he could be on my side. He materialized and opened the door completely. I was able to mutter a thank you, and quickly found my way to the table. Me and Robin were to be facing their Green Lantern, Flash, Jo'nn, Black Canary, and Batman. I had hoped to see Superman as well, but I was fortunate enough to have Jo'nn. I did not know The Flash's or Black Canary's opinion on alien immigration, though I hoped they were more neutral. I had a sense of Batman's position, though I was most worried about the Lantern. He would have some sense of intergalactic politics which could not be in my favor. My sister had just killed two of his fellow partners this year.
"Starfire good to see you again." This was Black Canary, she had eaten lunch with me when I had come up to translate and let me watch her spar with Green Arrow when I had a lull. She had been very nice to me, but I did not know if I would confidently be able to say I had her vote. Though her smile was one I could easily return.
"I am happy to see you here as well. Hello." I said to the others hoping that it was right to give a greeting to all. I got a light form of greeting from everyone except from Batman who was locked on Robin who seemed to be in some form of masked staring contest.
"Let's get started shall we." This time it was Flash who spoke and it seemed like he was as twitchy as I was. I suspected it got tiring to do things in normal time when he could accomplish so much more. "You are wanting to renew your Terran card. Cool this should go fast, easy pass right?" he asked to the room. I hoped he meant that I was an easy yes, though I knew it could be the alternative.
"Not necessarily, her status has changed. She is no longer dislocated, but has a planet to return to. We have a recording from the Grand Ruler of Tamaran asking for her to be returned." I had not known that Galfore had gone behind my back. I had not mentioned this to him in enough detail he would feel the need to send a message. I was curious of the means he had even sent a recording since he only had the link to the Tower. This is where I knew the Lantern would be problematic.
"Correct, if we deny his request we may be insulting an entire planet. Which begs the question why should you remain on earth? If you are lucky enough have a place to return to, I see no problem in you respecting that privilege." This was Batman and I felt shame being in the same room as Jo'nn he did not have people to return to. I did though I was actively choosing to stay on Earth. He was also seeing the perspective I would be a cause of conflict if I ignored a direct order. Fortunately I knew where I stood with Galfore in terms of rank and why I deserved to stay on Earth.
"I would like to stay on Earth since it has been a place of great growth in both my powers and my ability to help people. I still have much to learn and grow from so I wish to stay until I feel accomplished." I had to clutch Robin's hand under the table just so my voice did not waver. I had stuck to simpler sentences so I did not muddle syntax or phrases.
"Can you not accomplish that back home?" This was Flash asking though there was genuine curiosity in his tone. I moved my hand to clutch my own on the table. It was a self soothing gesture since I knew I would have to phrase my answer just right to show the difference between my freedom on Earth and my responsibilities on Tamaran.
"No, I would be coronated." I answered and took a breathe to determine the best phrasing. "Upon my return to Tamaran my full focus would return to my people and what best secures the safety of Tamaran."
"That does not sound too terrible." This was Jo'nn and I wished I had gone more dramatic in my words.
"I would immediately be put in an arranged marriage and be expected to produce issue by the year. As soon as I return to Tamaran my life becomes devoted to others and my ability to grow is dampened. I am not convinced that a pregnant 18-year old would be the best leader of a planet. " I needed to get it clear I would be placed in a completely different scenario and one I did not want. Though as I glanced at Robin I realized I had blindsided him to an extent. I had never truly said what would happen if I was sent home to him. Though I knew it was not a true shock.
"And that is your only option? If you're coronated you do not get to change the rules?" This was the Lantern, they had limited interactions with Tamaran.
"As a princess, I am still held to the will of a council and the people. I gave up the crown a year ago since I was not the right choice to rule then and I still am not, yet. I do not wish to disappoint my people and simply want to be able to incorporate more Earth values into my reign."
"I think that's rather responsible, Starfire." I would have to send Black Canary a thank you letter after this.
"What values are you hoping to incorporate?" This was Flash seeming to nod and go along with my explanation.
"Kindness." I said since that covered the basics. "On Tamaran there is only weakness and strength where there can be more room for compassion."
"And the consequences for denying the Grand ruler's request?" Batman asked.
"Nothing, he has made the same request every two weeks since he became ruler. He does not enjoy the position, and wishes me to take it from him. He is still a better ruler than I can be with my current circumstances."
"So you are being selfish?" This was Batman again and I did not appreciate his monotone.
"Yes." There was no point denying it. I was selfish, but it was only temporary until I would have to return to my duty.
"What are your current circumstances?" Jo'nn asked and I tried to find the best way to say I do not want to.
"I am still recovering from my captivity, mentally and physically in determining the strength of my abilities." I looked over at Robin for a quick second and noticed he was taking notes. "My work and relationships on Earth have been quite healing." I heard a huff from Batman and knew that I must of phrased something wrong which made me nervous.
"I am very sorry for what you endured, Princess." This was the Lantern and while I knew he was being genuine it felt sour. It was not his fault that there were too few of him and too many evils to stop.
"I am sorry for what trouble my sister has caused." I said trading apologies seemed right.
"Speaking of your sister, Green Lantern, you mentioned you might have some archived media that pertained to her threat level. With your continued stay on Earth it is likely she will pay another visit." It was true, though now I was nervous responding to him.
"You are right, she is a continued threat, though she has worn out her welcome and would be dealt with appropriately if she returned." I wanted it to come out as I would follow the rules in the card agreement though I knew the proper way to stop Blackfire from hurting people. I just did not have it in me yet.
"Well let us take a look at the destruction she is capable of." Batman said and suddenly a screen to our left starting playing scenes from my past. I recognized my own screams before the Black Canary was able to press mute. I saw the blood leave Robin's face and quickly grabbed his thumb both to communicate and ground both of us. Though it was not just the viciousness of my sister on display. This was a show of how much my own blood hated me. This was an ambush as I had no clue this existed and no way to prepare my explanation. I could no longer look at the screen as phantom pain reemerged. I felt lashes and shocks and barely let go of Robin's hands before my pain became almost unbearable. I crumpled onto the table closing my eyes and trying to focus on my heart rate to calm down. I felt pain and pain until it was all there was besides a dilatated drum.
