When I grow up I want to be hopeful.
"I have to tell you ... you don't really know how to not worry anyone." Elizabeth murmured sitting next to Levi.
Erwin had finally woken up from the coma, quite bruised but alive and that was what they cared about.
"I have to do my part too, right?" the Commander answered smiling. He wasn't a person who joked a lot, but somehow it was hard to stay serious with Elizabeth when she got involved. She knew very well when to be serious and when to joke but in that moment she felt she had to ease the tense air that had arisen.
"Are you still in one piece?" Levi finally asked, making sure he hadn't suffered any damage other than those already noted. Even the slightest pain could have been difficult for him to heal completely.
"Something like that. But at least I'm alive."
"I'm afraid we have to start talking about serious things now." the last person in the room stepped in. Commander Pixis sat to Erwin's left, directly across from the pair, still smiling at the Vice Captain's joke.
They started to speak but Elizabeth's eyes didn't seem to want to know.
"Excuse me is that..." she began holding back another smile and trying to justify herself. It wasn't a very professional attitude and she knew it very well but it was really hard to concentrate. "I can't see you with a beard. It's too weird."
"She's not wrong you know." Pixis laughed with decorum, moving his head in a nod in the direction of the woman.
A knock on the door woke them from that impromptu conversation and Levi told them who they were waiting for.
"It's Hange. Come in."
"Pardon the interruption, Erwin." Hange entered with a young man in tow, another of Eren's training companions. "I'm glad we came while you're here too Commander Pixis. Good timing. This is..."
"A scout from the 104th. Connie Springer. "
"Connie's from Ragako village."
"The village the recent titan invasion originated from?" Pixis asked on hearing the name of the particular village where a very strange event had occurred: all the people seemed to have disappeared into thin air, as if they had never even been there, there were no traces of escape and a titan was stuck in what it was young Connie's old house, too much like her mother to be mere coincidence.
Hange had talked about it with Elizabeth that morning, before she went to the Commander, and it had particularly intrigued her.
Everyone thought Connie was a madman, a visionary, someone who was simply homesick, but even Elizabeth had to admit that there was something wrong with the squad leader's stories. That was too weird...
But that story didn't just intrigue her, it frightened her too. Because now a particular doubt was creeping into her mind and she prayed with all her heart that she was wrong.
At least for once ...
"Yes." Hange answered. "Actually, I confirmed with him the findings of our investigation on the village. This only brings further credibility to that hypothesis. He's come to report."
"Would the titans that appeared in this incident be the Ragako titans?"
To give a hand to Pixis joined Erwin, with an increasingly curious look about it. That discovery was quite sensational.
Elizabeth had told him about it when they arrived, then diverted the conversation to something else to ease the tension waiting for Hange's arrival, but in reality she had done so only to not talk about her particular doubts about it.
And Erwin had noticed that there was something she didn't want to say.
"The titan responsible for the incident... were the citizens of Ragako?! In other words, the true identity of titans... is humans?"
It was that very sentence that made Elizabeth give in, swallowing hard and taking a deep breath.
Erwin had had the same intuition as her.
Levi, beside her, widened his eyes at that knowledge, also instantly understanding what Elizabeth might be thinking at that moment.
It was plausible, it all came together: the experiment done on her as a newborn could have helped that...
Levi saw her clench her fists on her knees and for a moment he wanted to get her out of there and hug her, but she was too strong not to stay until the end.
"We don't have proof yet."
"So... you're telling me I've spent all this time and energy running killing people? Is that right?"
Hange looked at the Captain for a moment, then at Elizabeth who, she knew, had had the same intuition. Those experiments, that brothel in the underground city, the theft of her research on titans... the only thing they were wrong about was the nature of those experiments.
And their Elizabeth was the one that got in the way.
"I said we don't have proof yet."
Elizabeth could not get that conversation out of her mind. She kept mulling over it in absolute silence, even when Commander Pixis left with Hange and Connor.
Only the three of them were left in the room, with Levi looking out the window at the young man looking at the photo of his mother, most likely transformed into a titan.
She was the result of a mistake. A wrong, unsuccessful experiment.
Kenny wanted to turn her into a powerful soldier, yes, but not for what they thought, but to use her as a guinea pig to make a titan.
He wanted to transform her like Eren, use her with unprecedented strength to become unstoppable and win the war.
The question Elizabeth asked herself was... use it against whom? Against the inhabitants of the Walls? Was he really that crazy to use a random person to destroy what was left of humanity?
She had so many questions on her mind but no answers she could give.
"Erwin... why... the hell are you smiling for?" Levi asked when he turned to the Commander, finding him with a lost gaze in front of him but a strange smile on his face.
He didn't seem happy with the news, he knew he had killed so many innocent people who perhaps didn't even want to be transformed, or didn't know, but for the discovery itself.
Their first real big discovery about it.
"It's nothing. It's just... with this, we've taken one more step towards the truth. "
"Just one step uh? We'll run out of people before we learn the truth. It's not worth the cost."
"But it is a step towards the truth. One day we'll break it down. This wall hiding the truth will fall"
And Elizabeth, for the first time, let the two talk while remaining in absolute silence. She had nothing to say.
"Now I could be a titan too..." Elizabeth murmured looking out of her office window.
She had finished her job and got up to stretch her legs but doing nothing kept her from not thinking and her mind inevitably began to wander towards the discovery of that morning.
She didn't even need to turn around to find out who the person who had entered the room was.
Levi closed the door behind him, turning the key in the lock so as not to be disturbed, and walked up to her, reaching her and placing his hands on her shoulders.
"But you are not."
"That was what they wanted to do to me then. You and your strength had nothing to do with it. They all misunderstood, including me."
Levi hugged her from behind, letting her continue not to look at him just because she didn't want to be seen with shining eyes. She wanted to stay strong but that news was upsetting her more than it should. She knew perfectly well that it was foolish to think what it might be but she just couldn't.
"You couldn't have known Liz. How couldn't you know it's the same Kenny who raised me. We cannot control the gestures of others. We can only act accordingly."
Levi's cheek pressed against her ear, then giving her a little kiss on the top as his hands gripped her hips and passed around her belly gently.
Elizabeth turned in his embrace, raising her hands up to tie them behind his neck.
The half-closed curtain gave the room a particular darkness which, with the sunset in the background, colored the room orange and created a play of light and shadow on the floor.
"How could he have raised a person like you?"
"A person like me?"
The blonde smiled at him, gently kissing his lips.
He always knew what to say to make her feel better, he seemed to understand her perfectly in everything, as if he could read her mind.
"Maybe I'll be the only one to see it but you have a big heart."
"I don't need everyone to see it. You are enough for me." Levi murmured, bringing his lips close to those of the blonde and savoring the flavor, while the sweet smile that had illuminated her face was extinguished only to return that gesture with all the love she had in her body.
With her hands he went to squeeze him against his shoulders, then sinking her fingers further up, in his hair, and feeling the light shave at the base on her palm.
He didn't need big big words and useless gestures to make her understand what he was feeling, she knew it and it was fine with her, she didn't need those useless things.
The only thing she needed was him, who with a single kiss was able to erase every wound in her soul, repaying those gestures and care with every fiber of his being.
Levi was different from when he had known her. She had been the first one with whom he had opened up like that about Farlan and Isabel, about his mother, about everything inside him. He had no secrets to her, he did not hide anything from her, not even his own emotions were taboo with her. He wasn't ashamed of what he felt, he just felt it.
Elizabeth's small, delicate fingers descended from the neck to the collar of her shirt, just as delicately pulling off the tie made from the fabric of her mother's old dress.
That had been one of the first things he had opened up about with her, even before their relationship took on those romantic tones. On the roof, on a particularly cold evening, a Levi already terribly aware of his feelings but too scared of them to express them, had allowed himself to get close to her completely, clearing the distance between their shoulders and letting her rest her head on his shoulder while looking at the stars.
He loved looking at her.
He couldn't explain why, but that dreamy and happy look she had in looking at the stars prevented him from withdrawing.
And, as they talked, he revealed that that particular piece of cloth was the only thing he had left of his dead mother.
Levi initially thought she might think he was stupid but she surprised him, raising her head to look at him and smile at him, stating instead that it was beautiful.
No, you are beautiful... he thought at that moment. And he thought so even now.
Elizabeth's face was slightly illuminated by the light of the sunset peeking out from the space left by the curtain, while with meticulous care she took off the tie to put it on her desk, thus preventing it from being damaged.
As soon as she returned to his arms, Levi held her close and hugged her.
Not a hug that foreshadowed what they would soon do, but a sweet and innocent contact, full of feeling.
The way to tell her that he would always love and protect her.
He hated the thought of what they had done to her, he couldn't deny it. He hated the fact that she had been used, kidnapped, tortured and had to suffer so much about it, but it didn't change how he felt about her. He had fallen in love before all those discoveries and would continue to love her forever.
Elizabeth ran her hands around his waist and responded to that squeeze by placing her palms on his back.
"Thanks." she murmured with her face hidden in the hollow of his neck, barely tickling it with her breath.
"I already told you: you are the only person I can't lose." Levi revealed before clearing the distance between them again and kissing her, taking her face in his hands.
He slowly backed her to the bedroom door, just like his office, adjacent to the room, and led her in until they reached the bed.
Elizabeth was so lost in that contact that she didn't realize it until her back touched the mattress.
The clothes soon became superfluous and then a shapeless heap on the floor.
Levi kissed and teased her properly, preparing her for his intrusion, but just as he was about to enter she reversed positions, towering over him with pride.
Damn, he was excited by that sight, it was damn sexy. So proud and rebellious, as indomitable as the free spirit she was. And then when she gave the orders... he didn't really know what his problem was but seeing her exert the position that Erwin had imposed her excited him a lot.
Levi started to rise, trying to bring himself back into command of the situation, but she pinned him to the mattress with one hand on his chest, pushing him to lie back down.
Obviously, a stroke of the kidneys would have been enough to succeed but she was the only person in the world to whom he could not say 'no'.
Not that he minded it, considering she was on top of him and naked.
Elizabeth backed away with her pelvis until they touched their intimacy, then lifted herself just enough to lower herself on him, letting herself be penetrated. With a sigh she threw out the air she had in her lungs, feeling filled by his essence and his entire length, also thanks to that position.
With her hands resting on his chest and her back straight, she began to move along his member, making him moan in response too.
Levi closes his eyes for a few moments, with a pleasure so great he can contain, burying his head in the pillow, then reopened them with the desire not to miss that breathtaking view even for a moment.
She moved up and down as if she were a dancer intent on the most sensual of dances and he wanted to see her, spectator and companion at the same time.
Those eyes scrutinized him, languid and shining with desire, while the movements began to become more and more rambling, faster and less precise, so close to ecstasy that he didn't even want to stop to try to prolong that contact.
Elizabeth exploded with a few other movements, aided by Levi's hands clasped on her hips, while his pelvis responded with the same enthusiasm to every movement, going towards her and letting himself be welcomed in the place he most preferred in the world, until he came in her emitting a groan.
Elizabeth gave him a kiss on the neck as the effects of the orgasm began to wear off and she lay on top of his chest, promptly greeted by the strong arms of her Captain.
For a few moments they remained silent listening to their respective beats, while they caught their breath, until the Vice decided to express a particular thought that was beginning to fill her thoughts.
"Maybe one day we could really get over this." she murmured thus giving voice to those thoughts and attracting the attention of the Captain who was stroking the nape of her neck with his right hand.
"Mh?"
"I was thinking about something." she answered that silent question, earning an eyebrow lift from him.
"When you think it's worrying..."
"Come on, I'm serious." she laughed giving him a little playful pat on the chest, too relaxed to be able to put any strength into it.
"Me too."
Elizabeth deliberately ignored the Captain's joke and settled better in his arms.
"Titans are human, aren't they? So they are not infinite. One day we may close this matter and there will be no more need to fight them. "
"Yes. And...?" he asked, beginning to understand what she was saying, but he wanted to hear her say it. And his heart began to beat a little faster with expectation.
"One day you told me that if Erwin hadn't taken you away, you would have wanted to open a tea shop." she murmured, continuing to listen to Levi's heartbeat speed up, letting her know she was saying the right thing. "Let's do it."
"What?"
Levi watched her lower her gaze with an extremely sweet smile on her face, a smile that he wanted to kiss but the desire to listen it was greater at that moment.
"We will probably not be soldiers until we die. I'm not going to die at their hands. I want to marry you, put an end to this and have a life of our own. Starting with that tea shop. Like a normal couple."
The Captain smiled at her, brushing a blonde lock from her face and watching her as she closed her eyes and curled her face against his hand, which he stroked with his thumb.
"You and I will never be a normal couple."
"True."
"Do you really want it? Even if it involves leaving from here and starting over?" he asked feeling happy and complete. That woman had stolen his heart and he would jump through hoops for her. And hearing her say that he wanted the same life that, deep down, he too longed for, making him even happier while a kiss sealed that simple phrase she said to him in response.
"I would also go to the end of the world with you. And for you."
Soon the first experiments on Eren began.
Away from prying eyes, Elizabeth, Levi and Hange watched from a high point, while the rest of Hange's team, under Moblit's close supervision, surrounded Eren so that he wouldn't lose control and could keep everything under control.
Mikasa, in particular, on horseback, did not take her eyes off Eren, worried for his safety and repeatedly intervening to counter the orders of the team leader.
The young man transformed once again but incompletely, with the head of the right proportions but the legs too small to hold it, forcing him to fall with his face to the ground.
"What's wrong Eren ?!" Hange exclaimed frustrated by yet another failure. "Get up! The future of humanity depends on you! Get up dammit!"
Elizabeth stood beside her with folded arms, and the thing that worried Armin most behind them was that she still hadn't said a word about it. She merely observed everything with her keen eye but did not speak.
"Hey four-eyes, he's not quite the same this time. He's not even ten meters and some of his body doesn't have muscle. Plus, Eren's ass is hanging out." observed Levi, turning a little to observe the team leader in desperation.
"I see this too! Eren can you move? Send me any kind of signal!"
Mikasa dismounted, ignoring the squad leader's calls, to go to rescue Eren who had his face sunk into the joints with the titan's flesh.
"Hey, that gloomy brat is acting on her own again. Should I think of a punishment? " Levi asked seeing that she continued to ignore direct and explicit orders. He cared so much about that boy that she put him in front of anything.
However, he had to admit, he shared that thought but towards Elizabeth. Regardless of his position, if he and Elizabeth had been in that situation, he would have acted the same way, ignoring anyone to make sure she was okay.
"No… he doesn't answer. We finished!" exclaimed Hange, getting out to go help the young man who was probably unconscious. "Hot! Hot damn! You are hot!"
"Hange wait! Eren is bleeding!" Mikasa exclaimed on seeing Hange begin to pull the young man despite the joined skins.
"Moblit, check it out! Eren's face! Hurry up and sketch it!"
"Section Commander are you lacking in human compassion?!" answered her vice, giving the final will to Mikasa to grab the blades and cut with a sharp blow the flesh that kept him attached to the titan's body.
"Sorry, I got carried away..."
As Hange calmed down, catching her breath, Elizabeth took a breath, then sighed at the scene she had observed.
Eren was determined but unwilling, he seemed somehow intimidated by the possibility of hurting someone with his transformation, perhaps even losing control. Forgetting, however, that he was surrounded by experienced soldiers and ready to kill him.
Or maybe that's what he feared. Being killed...
"At this rate we will not go anywhere. We don't have that much time. I understand that it is difficult for Eren, and for them to watch even more, but we cannot work in this way."
"Looks like we've got a long road ahead... before we can use the titan hardening ability to seal the wall." Levi added, including Armin and his idea in the conversation.
"Yes, I knew we'd be grasping at straws from the start."
The young man looked depressed, as if he had said something wrong and was now paying the consequences.
"Strategically it's not a bad plan. Instead of lugging tons of supplies, all we need is to get Eren there. Whether or not we're grasping at straws... all depends on Eren."
And Levi's words succeeded in giving new hope to the young man.
"The experiment is over. All troops disperse at once! " Hange ordered, with Moblit at her side.
"Yes! Make sure there's no witnesses. "
"We need to inform Erwin." Elizabeth commented, untying her arms and moving to prepare to leave the place. Levi, looked at her for a few moments, supporting her gaze which, in the green eye, had a particular light, the same light that she had every time she had to tell him something and expected him to understand immediately. And he understood.
"You ride in the same wagon as Eren. I'm headed for Trost District with Hange's group." Levi ordered Christa, who looked down.
"Okay."
Elizabeth waited to be further back with the Captain so that only he could hear her.
"I don't know about you but I feel observed."
