A/N: ... hi? Oops. Unintentional three month break. I kind of lost motivation for this story, but I'm trying my best to get back into it. AND I PROMISE I WILL FINISH! Even if I get bored of it, I will finish! I have no intentions of leaving while the story is incomplete! So thanks for sticking with me!

This chapter is basically a review of the story so far, and I thought it would be suitable because I've been writing this for almost a year now. How do any of you know what's going on anymore omg I'd forgotten half of it.

Anyways, Anakin has been back for a few weeks now! He's finally opening up! I hope you all enjoy!


Wednesday 9:25am; Obi-Wan's Quarters.

Obi-Wan woke up much later than he usually did. Usually he would wake up pretty late anyways, normally because of Anakin's ability to get up at the crack of dawn. But it had given him a tendency to be rather snappy when he woke up, expecting to be bombarded by an over-energetic Padawan.

But today Anakin was neither running around nor absent completely. Obi-Wan could feel a night's worth of pins and needles running up his arm. But hearing Anakin sleeping peacefully for the first time in what had to be weeks, knowing he'd had no nightmares the past night, he didn't want to move away. Instead he contented himself with looking at the ceiling peacefully, slipping into light meditation. Force knows he needed it. He hadn't properly slept for what felt like years, and even with the long rest of the night he still felt fatigued.

When Anakin began to shuffle after an hour of Obi-Wan's meditation, he judged it safe to wake his Padawan up. The earlier they talked the better. The longer it took for them to get around it the more likely it was that Anakin would slip back into his unfeeling shell.

"Anakin, are you up?" He asked. Anakin groaned and raised his hand to cover eyes.

"I am now." He complained.

"We need to have some food. And then we need to talk."

Anakin sighed, but reluctantly sat up. Obi-Wan mirrored him, moving his arm in a circular motion to get some better feeling in to it.

He stood up, then took a moment to hoist Anakin up too. He summoned the crutches into his one free hand. Anakin took them and then Obi-Wan helped him out of the room.

Whilst Anakin sat at the table Obi-Wan grabbed them some food to have for breakfast. Just some things which he thought Anakin could eat mindlessly. Then he walked back out, setting half of it in front of Anakin and half in front of where he sat.

It took Obi-Wan only a few minutes to finish, so he picked up a book to flick through while Anakin finished. Which seemed to be taking a remarkably long time. Even with his low appetite, it didn't often take him so much time. It was almost as if he was prolonging the breakfast. Almost as if he was postponing the inevitable.

"Young One, eating slower isn't going to stop us talking. We are going to talk. Even if it takes all day." Obi-Wan said. Anakin shuffled guiltily. Obi-Wan winced slightly, his Padawan still looked half-asleep, and far too scared to be attempting to do anything. Let alone relieve anything. But before he had time to apologize, Anakin spoke.

"Can we just talk now? I don't think I can eat any more."

Obi-Wan sighed.

"Fine. We can come back to it." He answered. Anakin clumsily got to his feet, grabbing the crutches and hoisting himself up. He made is way over the couch and Obi-Wan followed. They sat down, much like the night before. The untouched tea was still sitting, unmoved. Obi-Wan hadn't had time to clean anything up.

"So am I just going to say everything from the beginning? Or just the important bits? Or what?" Anakin asked. Obi-Wan rubbed a hand across his face.

"I- I don't know Anakin. Go from wherever you think is best."

"Oh. Okay."

There was a long silence. But Obi-Wan could see that it was less of Anakin wasting time, and more of him gathering his thoughts and courage. And he wasn't about to deny him that.

"Okay. I'm ready."

"Take your time." Obi-Wan reassured.

"So I- I walked out of here. And out of the Temple. And along the streets. And it was quiet, scarily quiet. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go back to you yet because I knew you'd be still mad at me. And I was still mad at you. And I... I felt bad."

"Anakin... What you said that night wasn't what you believe. You were angry. I don't blame you. I should've handled the situation better." Obi-Wan interjected. Anakin looked down. But he took a deep breath, and continued.

"So I followed the lights. And I heard noise. And by that point I was cold, and hungry, and I wanted to see what was happening. You never let me out the Temple. I wanted to use my chance."

Obi-Wan grimaced. So it was partly his overbearing nature which had led to Anakin's naive curiosity.

"There were so many people on the Lower Levels. But it was also more sheltered. So I snuck into a bar and got some food- "

Obi-Wan almost face palmed. He restrained himself, sensing that it wasn't exactly the occasion, but he struggled to. Typical Anakin, brushing over the fact he'd managed to presumably break into a building purely for food.

"- and then got out again. And then these two guys came up to me."

Obi-Wan sat up straight.

"Did they touch you?" He asked sharply.

"No! No, it was fine. Well one guy looked like he might but his friend stopped him. That guy told me to go home. He said his name too, I can't remember it now. It was something like -"

"Kit?"

Anakin looked at him quizzically.

"Wait how do you know?"

"We met. When I went looking for you, he pointed me in the right direction." Obi-Wan explained. "I have his number."

"You have his number." Anakin said dryly.

"Yes. I need to tell him you're safe actually, I told him I would if- when we found you." Obi-Wan replied, hastily correcting himself. "Anyways, continue."

"Well, I ignored him. I didn't want to go back. So I continued going, until I was really cold and started to get tired."

"You didn't think that you should come home before you got tired?"

"Dumb move, I know Master. But I finally went the other way, towards the Temple. It was pretty easy to find my way back. But then I reached the stairs, and it was almost like a gut feeling I had, that something was going to go wrong."

"I kind of threw myself onto the floor and heard a shot above me. It was really close to my head. And then I grabbed my lightsaber and deflected a few more shots. There was just some guy, dressed in black with a mask on. I thought he was just some criminal."

Anakin paused for breath, and Obi-Wan decided to let him talk without interrupting now.

"But then he knocked it out of my hands. I think I was still a bit dizzy because I'd hit my head. But then he attacked me and had my pinned down on the floor. That's when I started to get scared. He had the blaster against my head and I thought he was going to kill me right there. But when he didn't, I hit him over the head with something, I can't remember what, and he moved off. I tried to get up but he kicked me or something. And then... and then he injected me with something. I don't know. Then I passed out."

Anakin sighed. Obi-Wan reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.

"We can stop here if you want." He said gently. "You can pick up tomorrow."

"No, I'm okay. I'm fine. I'll keep going."

Obi-Wan bit his lip. This seemed like a bit too much stress at once. But he held his tongue.

"When I woke up it was night. I think. Or we might have been so far down that sunlight didn't reach us. No, wait, I remember rain later on."

"You were in the Industrial area. We managed to track you there after a while." Obi-Wan interjected.

"Oh, that makes sense. Yeah so this guy walked in, the same guys as before. At least as far as I could tell. And he was just acting weird. At first I thought he wouldn't be too much of a problem to deal with, 'cause he didn't look like someone who knew what they were doing. But I was very wrong."

"He left after a bit, he asked me some questions and stuff. And then I decided to reach out to you. But by that point I had the chip in me, the first one, though I didn't know it. And when I tried to sense you it- it-"

"You don't have to say Anakin. Skip over it. I know what it's like." Obi-Wan reassured him gently. Anakin closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Okay. Well I passed out. And then I woke up and he was there. And then there was the message to you or something, he said it was for you but I don't know. Did you get it?"

Obi-Wan nodded. Anakin winced. "Was it just you who saw it or...?"

"The Council saw it too."

Anakin hung his head. Obi-Wan moved to sit in front of him, gently lifting his head up. "Hey. Look at me. You have done nothing wrong. None of this is your fault."

"If I'd been smarter or stronger -"

"No. You must not blame yourself Young One. You did not cause any of this."

"You keep saying that. But I can't believe it." Anakin whispered. Obi-Wan sighed.

"I know. I think with time you will. Just please try not to be harsh on yourself."

Anakin swallowed and nodded.

"I'll try."

"That's all I ever ask." Obi-Wan smiled.

"So that happened. And then I thought he'd leave. And he didn't, he stayed around for a bit. Talking. And then- then..."

Anakin shut his mouth. Obi-Wan had removed his hands, but put them again under Anakin's chin. The teenager's eyes had adopted a far away look, almost as if Anakin was somewhere else. Obi-Wan snapped his fingers.

"Padawan? Anakin?" He asked. The urgency grew in his tone when he received no response. "Anakin? Anakin!"

Anakin jumped, the clarity returning to his eyes with a jolt. After a moment his face crumpled, and he put his head into his hands.

"I- I can't do this. Please. I can't talk I-"

Obi-Wan wrapped him in another hug, slowly in case Anakin wanted to pull away. Even though he now seemed mainly fine with physical contact, Obi-Wan didn't want to scare him if he was still having a flashback. Obi-Wan had recognized the signs of one. He knew himself well enough how hard they could be.

But Anakin returned it, laying his head on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"You don't have to Anakin. Let's take a break. Maybe you can do it later-"

"I can't. I'll never do it. I can't talk about what happened in there. I can't."

"Then you can't. And we don't need to. I think it would help, but I would never force you."

Anakin went silent. They stayed like that for a while, Obi-Wan waiting for Anakin to break the silence.

"He tortured me Master. I- I don't know how to describe it any other way."

"It's okay. You're safe now. He can't touch you here." Obi-Wan reassured him. But then a thought popped into his mind. One which could be vital, though he didn't want to push Anakin.

"Did... Did he ask you anything? Did he ask you questions while... while he had you?"

Anakin stilled.

"Yes. Not all of the time. Some of the time I didn't know what was going on. But some of the time he let me be... alert enough to talk."

"And did you answer?"

Anakin began to clench and unclench his fists nervously.

"Master, I tried not to, really I did! I didn't -"

"Anakin-"

"- at first, I stayed silent! I didn't know most of the things he wanted anyways, he kept asking me stuff and I didn't know. He told me I knew, kept telling me that I would know. Because I was the Padawan of a Council Member."

Obi-Wan felt his heart drop. Please no.

"But I never tell you about Council meetings."

"And I told him that."

Anakin fell into silence again. Obi-Wan mulled over the statement, guilt flooding his brain. If Anakin had been tortured for information he didn't even know, the information Obi-Wan had refused to give him, he didn't know whether he'd be able to take it. He felt guilty enough already, to have yet another part of this become one of his burdens would be unbearable. If only he'd told Anakin. Trusted him more.

But then the information would be in the hands of Marius, or whoever Marius worked for. And the Jedi Order would have its already unstable political foundations rocked.

But Obi-Wan would never put the Order over Anakin. Once upon a time, a few weeks ago, it would've taken a moment for him to answer. He would've still chosen Anakin, but now he would do so in a heartbeat, no second thoughts. And he would have preferred all of the secrets he knew to be galaxy-wide knowledge than have had Anakin go through what he had.

"I- I think I might skip a most of this out. If that's okay?" Anakin asked tentatively.

"Of course Young One. At your own pace. We can stop now if you want, or at any point."

"So that happened. And I- I tried to escape at one point -"

"You did?"

"Yeah. I almost made it too. But he got me at the last second with the chip."

Anakin shivered and Obi-Wan had to resist the urge to just stop him talking, to let him forget it all and move on. But that would only cause it to be worse, Anakin would carry it around for the rest of his life.

"Then the, uh, the torture got worse. It happened a lot. He kind of lost sympathy for me I think. Then one day he just started dragging me out of the building. And I heard you. And for a moment I thought you were in the building when it came down. Oh Force, I thought you were -"

"I'm fine." Obi-Wan soothed, interrupting Anakin's growing panic. "I'm fine. You're fine. We'll be fine."

Maybe if he said it enough they'd both believe it.

"So yeah." Anakin continued, breathing deeply. That's what happened.

"And after?"

Anakin went pale, Obi-Wan could see the little colour he had in his skin disappear. "Only if you feel ready! We can stop."

"No." Anakin whispered. "I need to do this. I'm almost done. If I don't say it now I don't know if I ever will."

"Okay. If you think it's for the best."

"So you know where I ended up. And it was... hard, to say the least. But not too bad. And I met two nice people, they were called Mana and Shoan. Well, they weren't actually called that, but they used fake names. They helped me find my feet. Mana was pretty old, but Shoan was a only bit older than me I think. He was Mana's son."

"They were both super nice and everything. And Mana kind of looked after me. I don't know why. She kept saying she had a feeling, she didn't know why but she wanted to protect me. I don't know. Maybe she was just nice -"

"Or Force sensitive." Obi-Wan said contemplatively. "Sometimes when people are minimally connected to the Force they are influenced, they just don't know it."

"You think Mana might've been Force sensitive?"

"Possibly. Possibly not. It's a theory. It would explain it though. Why she wanted to help you when she had no previous connection to you. Or she was just nice."

"Yeah. I guess that makes sense." Anakin answered. "So as I was saying, they both tried to help out. And one time I got into a fight, well it wasn't even a fight, one of the- the wardens? I don't know. One of the leaders. Guards. Officers. Someone. They called me out for something I hadn't done. Well I had done it, but it wasn't a big thing I'd done. Well kind of -"

"I get the idea." Obi-Wan said gently. He didn't want to put Anakin off, but he didn't want Anakin to unnecessarily ramble about small details. The Padawan was growing more and more distressed, and Obi-Wan knew that eventually he'd have to stop him talking for his own wellbeing, despite Anakin's protests. They just needed to finish.

Anakin took a deep breath.

"Okay. One of them called me out. And Shoan, he tried his best to protect me and stop them. Then they tried to attack me, and we started fighting. I was still injured from last time, so I couldn't really help. He took most of it. And I- I can't remember."

Anakin stopped. His expression became panicked, even more so than before. "Why can't I remember?"

"Sometimes our memories try to block out events that are traumatic. They build a wall and hide things behind it, to protect us." Obi-Wan explained gently. "They usually come back in time."

"I can remember the main events. Just not small parts. There's gaps."

"Then do your best. Or we can -"

"No. We're not stopping. I'm almost there."

Anakin had gone from unwilling to determined. And Obi-Wan, while glad he could finally see the full picture, was also worried. This felt like too much strain at once.

"So I think I was knocked out. Or something. I don't know. But next thing I remember we were both standing in front of the people who owned the place. I was surprised, I didn't think that our case would be that important to them. But I think they viewed it almost as a sick form of... of -"

"Entertainment?"

Anakin nodded.

"I was worried about that. The couple have been suspected of it for quite a while, according to Quin."

"Yes. And we talked for a bit. And then I- I said something I shouldn't have. I accidentally revealed that Shoan was deaf."

"Shoan was deaf?"

"Did I forget to say?" Anakin asked.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. Keep going."

Anakin closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

"It was an accident. But nobody wants a slave who cannot work to full strength. If you aren't worth your money then it's easier to replace you."

He went silent; the sentence hung ominously in the air between them. Obi-Wan leant away from Anakin, where he'd still had his arm wrapped around the Padawan, and instead placed a hand on his shoulder, making Anakin look at him.

"Anakin. I won't force you to tell me what happens next if you don't want. But none of this is you fault. You haven't done anything wrong. And I would never blame you. So if you do tell me, I won't blame you. I would never blame you."

"Maybe you should." Anakin answered, his voice cracking. "It's my fault. Oh Force. I killed him."

Obi-Wan tried to say something, reassure him somehow. But Anakin either couldn't or wouldn't hear him.

"It's my fault. I killed him! Maybe if I'd kept my mouth shut, or learnt how to protect myself. If I'd fought my way out, if I'd been less weak. Oh Force, it's my fault. I should've been better at protecting him. Or I could've never got with them in the first place. I could've stayed on my own. Or I should've taken his place. I killed him. It's my fault. I killed him. I killed him."

Ikilledhimikilledhimikilledhimikilledhim-
A/N: Feel free to review! Please, I want to know how you all are! I've missed reading all of your wonderful reviews, I hope everyone is okay and coping! You're welcome to tell me how you are!

Have a wonderful day/night and I'll try to update sooner this time!