Alyss spent the following morning resting, and felt much better after taking some of the medicine that the physician had left for her. The dizziness was no longer so overwhelming, and the light did not hurt so much. Her heart was heavy though, for she knew that she had betrayed Gisburne's trust and she was not sure that he would forgive her. She had tried to explain her history with the outlaws and why she had gone back for him last night, but she had eventually given up out of frustration and pain. It had hurt her to know that he was wilfully ignoring her, and the fact that he had not been with her when she had woken yesterday had spoken volumes. The pair of them had survived so much, and yet Alyss was unsure that he would forgive her for this. She could only hope that she would be able to talk to him soon, preferably without a closed door between them, and pray that she had not lost everything because of her mistakes.
Unable to rest for much longer, especially as she heard footsteps in the hall, Alyss made her way downstairs. Her stomach rumbled and she realised that it must be past midday, but she had more important things on her mind than hunger. Taking a deep breath to steel herself, she hesitated by the door and tried to work out what to say.
"You should be resting!" Osric said softly when he spotted Alyss. The noblewoman looked around for Guy and sighed when she saw no sign of him, but he still had a smile for her friend.
"I'll be alright." She assured him, though she still let him help her to a seat.
"About yesterday, I… I am so sorry my lady. I…" He began a moment later, and Alyss knew that he would be blaming himself for what had happened.
"It was my choice Osric. No one would have been able to stop me." She pointed out. "I am just glad that you are well."
"We were very lucky." He agreed. "How's your head?"
"Sore, but I think it might have knocked some sense into me." The pair shared a smile. "I take it this is not a social call?"
"The horses have been returned without issue." He told her. "And I wanted to see that you were alright."
"I will be." She assured him. "Have you seen Guy at all?"
"Not since yesterday." Alyss sighed, and Osric shook his head. "If it's any consolation, he's annoyed with me too. I failed to protect you."
"It is not your fault." She told him, as she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Her hair really needed brushing, but she had not been able to withstand the pain earlier, and an attempt at plaiting it had nearly made her sick again.
"Well, there is something that you should know. I discovered that Edwin has been spreading rumours that you were being forced out of your home." Alyss blinked as she took in the information, and then cursed under her breath.
"He's never liked Gisburne." She sighed. "He wasn't exactly happy at the Midwinter celebrations, so I can't say I'm surprised."
"Would you like me to have words with him?"
"No. I'll do it." Alyss said, not looking forward to dealing with the man. "Best keep this between ourselves though."
"Of course, my lady." Osric smiled slightly. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
"No." she paused. "I just hope that we will be forgiven."
Gisburne returned shortly after Osric left, and Alyss was still sat by the hearth. There was something different about him, and Alyss realised that she had not seen him like this since he had taken her away from Nettleworth all those years ago. Gone was the kind man she loved. Instead, she was facing the Sheriff's deputy. She was a little surprised to see the dark rings around the knight's eyes, and he sighed as he saw her looking at him.
"My lady." He greeted curtly, and Alyss did her best not to wince at the tone. It felt as if they were merely acquaintances again, rather than the couple they had grown to be.
"My lord." She returned. "We need to talk."
"We did so last night." He pointed out, and Alyss quirked an eyebrow, before wincing at the pain it sent through her already sore head. "So, unless you wish to add anything to last night's statement…"
"I said everything I needed to."
"Then there's no need to talk, is there?" He asked, and Alyss felt her frustration rise.
"Damn it Guy." She cursed as she stood up and made her way across to him. "I am trying to apologise for what I have done. You could at least do me the courtesy of listening."
"You did not listen to me yesterday." He pointed out, somewhat unkindly, and Alyss sighed.
"I could not leave you to die at the hands of a wolfshead." She tried to explain.
"I did not need saving." He stated simply, before turning on his heel and leaving. Alyss could only watch him go.
Gisburne sighed deeply as evening struck. He had barely slept that night, and had then spent the morning walking around the village, trying to work out what to do for the best. Alyss' explanation had been somewhat reasonable, but it had not eased his temper, for she had still confessed to associating with Hood. This had been problematic in itself, and it did not put him in the easiest of positions. Though he knew that she had met the outlaws once before, he had believed that Alyss would be wise enough to steer clear of them. It seemed that this was not the case. The knight had been surprised to find her asleep in the corridor that morning, and he realised that Alyss could be as stubborn as a mule. He did love her, for he would not have risked himself for her otherwise, and yet… Yet he could not shake the feeling that she was keeping something from him, and he could not forgive her for what she had done.
He had at least managed to snatch an hour's sleep that afternoon, which had helped to clear his thoughts slightly. His joints ached from yesterday's exertions and his head was a little muzzy, but as much as he wanted to rest, he knew he would not be able to settle. Though he was still unsure of what to do for the best, he knew that he could not keep avoiding the noblewoman. This was her home after all, and she at least deserved the chance to make things right. He knew that she had overlooked many of his past deeds, and he wondered if he would be able to overlook hers. After all, her only crime had been to accept Hood's help when she needed it most. He had ransacked villages and killed peasants just for the sheer crime of being hungry.
Sighing, he washed his face and then went downstairs, hoping to find Alyss where he had left her earlier. He knew that she should be resting, and he frowned when he found no sign of her in the manor. The servants were of no use either, and Guy had yelled at them before realising that the woman would have gone to one of two places. Wrapping his cloak around him to keep off the evening chill, the knight worked his way around the village to where Alyss' childhood hiding spot was. He had only stumbled across it previously, but he had no doubt that he would soon find it. The rain had turned parts of the path to mud, and he allowed himself a slight smile when he saw footprints disappearing into the trees.
It was here, in a small clearing, that he found Alyss. She was sat with her back against a tree, her head in her hands as she sobbed quietly. Her raven hair was loose, and she was still in yesterday's gown, which meant that she was truly upset. Guy sighed quietly as he hesitated near the entrance, suddenly unsure on whether to disturb her. A large part of him wanted to take her in his arms and promise that everything would be alright, but the rest of him could not forgive her for what she had done.
"I know you're there." Alyss said a few minutes later, having dried her eyes. Guy watched as she stood up straight and brushed off her gown, suddenly looking like the defiant young woman he had first fallen for all those years ago. Gisburne took a deep breath, for he knew he would not enjoy this confrontation, before stepping into the clearing. Alyss watched him with a neutral expression, while he stayed silent as he tried to work out what to say.
"Are you here to arrest me?" she asked after a few minutes. Guy knew that it had only been a few months ago that they had declared their love for each other here, and he sighed as he realised just how different things had been then. "I know you have a duty to do so. I have consorted with outlaws after all." Alyss pointed out. "I will go quietly, and ask that you look after my people."
"You truly think I am here to capture you?" The knight was surprised, and he felt his heart pang as he saw just how heartbroken the woman was.
"I can see no other reason why. It is quite clear that you will not speak with me otherwise." She said coldly, and Guy knew that he had not seen Alyss like this before. He was used to seeing her display all sorts of emotions, but never had he witnessed this. It was almost as if she had built a barrier around herself, and Guy knew that it would be difficult to break.
"You do not ask for forgiveness?" He was shocked, for he had rarely met anyone who would not beg for mercy when they had confessed to doing wrong.
"You will not give it." She stated simply as she met his gaze. "I know how much you despise them. I know that they have caused you no end of pain and grief. That is why I could not tell you. I feared that I would lose you if I admitted what they had done for me. I guess it's too late now." Alyss gave a heavy sigh. "My loyalty has only ever been to Nettleworth. I would do anything for any of my people, and… Well, I suppose that has been my downfall."
"Just how long have you known them?" He asked, not wanting to interrogate her and yet needing answers. It would be so much easier to know what to do if he knew she was being honest. The woman sighed as she picked at the leaves of the tree she was leaning on, before shaking her head slightly.
"Believe me when I say that I truly had no other option but to turn to them for help." She told him as he paced from one side to the other. He knew that it annoyed her, but it was the only way he could concentrate. "I was too young to realise the gravity of what I was doing when I took their help the first time. My mother was so ill, and nothing else had worked, so when they offered their skills... I'm sorry to say that my knowledge of some medicines came from Tuck and Marion…" She sighed. "But when my father saw them with me, he sent them away. They didn't return until… Well, when they discovered that I was a prisoner, they ensured that my people did not suffer in my absence. I fear that was my doing. As much as I didn't want anyone in Nettleworth to be punished for dealing with outlaws, I also needed to know that they were looked after. I figured that they could help where I could not."
"This is when you escaped the castle?" He clarified, and the noblewoman bowed her head. Guy was not surprised to learn that there was more to the story than she had originally told him, but he was shocked to hear that Alyss had outrightly asked them to help the village.
"When… When they rescued me from the cutthroats, I had to tell them what had happened. They offered to take me home, and let me stay with them until the morning. I so desperately wanted to go to Nettleworth that day, but…" she sighed, and Guy realised that Alyss had not been completely honest with him about that day. He had known that they had found her, but not that they had offered to rescue her from him. He was a little curious as to why she had not taken the opportunity, for he knew he would have done if he had been in her position.
"Why didn't you?"
"I chose Nottingham, for my father's sake. I knew that Nettleworth would be taken from me if I took up their offer, so I returned to my imprisonment. And that was it. I heard very little from them for a while, until my father fell ill. I had no one else to turn to, and… Well, I knew it was wrong. I was so desperate to save him…" She was crying again, and Guy could only watch her as she hugged herself tightly. "Not that any of it helped. When you returned, I sent word so that they would stay away. I… I have never harboured them, or given any information otherwise. Truly I had no wish to see them again, especially now that you are here with me. I have only ever wished for you to be safe, and yesterday… I didn't want to lose you. I've already lost my family. I don't want to lose you as well."
"Is that why you blatantly ignored my wishes and faced one of them alone?" Alyss was silent, but the look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. "I've long had my suspicions that Hood has been here. His men have been to every village in the county, and I don't see why this one should be any different. You mentioned in Nottingham that you had met them, and I can understand that you must have been truly desperate to turn to them, especially considering your feelings for me." Alyss just bowed her head, looking very ashamed. "I suppose I should be grateful that they saved you all those years ago, but I cannot forgive you for this. You have had plenty of opportunities to…"
"I know, and I kept changing the subject." She sighed remorsefully. "I am truly sorry for keeping it from you, but I feared what you would do if I told you the truth." He was quiet for a moment as he came to a decision.
"I need you to promise that you will have nothing to do with them again." He said sternly, while she looked confused. As much as the knight hated the outlaws, his love for Alyss outweighed anything else. "I cannot forgive you for what has happened, but I will not see you hang. Not only did I discover that the wolfsheads view you as a friend yesterday, but you risked everything that we have worked so hard for. I cannot forgive you for risking your life to save mine. I would never forgive myself if…"
"I could not just let you sacrifice yourself because I had failed to negotiate, and I had no doubt that Scarlet would kill you." She shook her head. "I did not even think that you would give yourself up like that. From what I know of you…"
"I wanted to make sure you were safe, and that was the only way I could think of." He pointed out, letting his guard down slightly. "Not that it mattered."
"I'm sorry." She sighed. "If it's any consolation, I'm suffering for it now."
"I suppose I should thank you though. Osric tells me that you put up quite the fight."
"I can be rather protective when it comes to those I care about." Alyss shrugged. "Rarely do I have to resort to such unladylike practices." Gisburne smiled ever so slightly, for that sounded like the woman he knew.
"I take it that was why you were so insistent on joining me on the trip?" She did not reply, and the pair were silent for a few moments. Guy was unsure on what else to say, and Alyss looked rather troubled, though she did not voice her thoughts.
"What will you do now?" She asked a little while later as she fiddled with the cuff of her sleeve.
"What do you mean?" He was rather confused.
"I understand if you wish to leave. I have no doubt that you cannot marry someone who's had the slightest association with Hood, and… Well, I'm guessing that this changes things between us. If you wish to take the manor then I will not object. You did pay for it, and as I cannot afford to…" Gisburne frowned, and then realised just what Alyss was talking about.
"I may not like what you have done Alyss, and I may not be able to forgive you completely, but this does not change how I feel about you."
"What?" She blinked, then looked at him in surprise.
"I understand that desperation makes people do stupid things. I saw it every day I was in Nottingham Castle. That does not mean that I want to leave you." He admitted. "Just promise me that…"
"I swear that I will have nothing to do with them again. I certainly won't be travelling through Sherwood any time soon." She promised, and he knew she meant it.
"I can't lose you Alyss." He said as he stood in front of her, knowing exactly what was to be done. "Not when it took so long to find you. We have lost so much time already, and we have both done things we regret. You have forgiven me and overlooked my misdeeds without so much as a word. It will take time, but…"
"You still want to marry me?" She was crying even more now, and Guy could not stop himself from wiping away her tears.
"You truly believe that after everything we have gone through that I would leave you?" He asked, and she looked back at the ground. "It is true that I am angry with you, but that is because you risked everything for me. There was a moment yesterday where I thought the worst, and I… I cannot lose you Alyss. You are the only thing that matters to me." He admitted. "I do hate the outlaws and everything they stand for, but they are in my past. It is the future that is more important to me now, and I want to spend it with you. If it will make you happy then I will leave, but I truly believe that…"
"Stay. Please. I could not bear it if…" she sobbed as she reached out for his hand. "I cannot lose you Guy. I've already lost so much."
"I promise I will not leave you." He said as he held her close, meaning it. "So long as you promise not to do something so reckless again."
"I swear it." She promised as she clung on tightly to him. "I don't deserve you."
"You deserve so much more than me." He said softly.
"There is no one else who would have gone to so much trouble for me. I owe you everything." She paused. "If it were not for you then I would be in Kirklees, or married to some peasant, or homeless, or… Well, I suppose I should have died years ago, for I would not have survived if you had not intervened." She blinked away another tear. "Everything that I have today, I owe to you, and you have asked for so little in return. I am truly sorry for what happened, and I regret not saying something sooner, but I can promise you that I have no other secrets."
"Truly?" He asked, and she bowed her head.
"Truly." Guy was relieved to see that she was being honest.
"I am sorry about last night. Despite what happened, I should have…" He began to apologise, but Alyss shook her head slightly.
"There is no need. I understand completely. It was a lot to take in, and you must have been worried when…"
"There was one point where I thought I had lost you." He admitted sadly as he held her tighter.
"In that we are even." She sighed slightly as she nestled her head into his shoulder. Guy knew then that he could never let this woman go, for she meant so much to him. He had never cared for anything as much as he cared for the Lady Alyss, and he would not leave her. "Promise me that you will never send me away like that again. I could not bear it if…"
"You have my word." He assured her. "I do love you my lady."
"I love you too."
